In the End
by October Sky
Summary: The island turns upside down as the monster returns, Jack and Kate feud, and Sawyer finds himself trapped in a new friendship. Jate, Shayid, Shoone, PB&J, SawyerOC. Sequel to As You Like It.
1. Broken Dreams

In the End  
Chapter One

**Author's Note:** Well, back for one last _Fated_ story. Story twenty of twenty. Yep, I know, pathetic. Oh well, I've really enjoyed writing them, and trust me, this isn't the end. There'll be another off-island fic and two AU fics, and surely by then I'll have another idea. And sometime or another I have to finish my HP story, so I might have to do that before I start my AU fics. It was my New Year's resolution, believe it or not. Guess how many chapters I've written since then? (sigh)

**Summary:** As the survivors try to recover from recent island events, they find themselves facing a fairly new conflict: man vs. machine. But yes, I am aware of many man vs. machine happenings(for example, the crash itself), but this is like..bigger. That's the only way I can describe it. This story will(as far as I know right now) include flashbacks from all characters.

**Rating Warning:** This fic will be the equivalent of an R' rated movie for scary images. If you were freaked out/disturbed by _War of the Worlds_ then I wouldn't read this.

**Spoilers:** Some for season one, maybe some from the premiere, I haven't decided yet. If you haven't seen all of season one, or at least up to Whatever the Case May Be you might be confused, I'm really note sure.

**Series note:** I'm treating this finale fic' as if you've read the entire series, or at least most of it, so if you're new, let me know and I'll either try and tell you what you need to know or give you the fics you should read to catch up. Also, I'm trying to give this fic a finale feel', so it might seem a bit different from the others.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Lost, the fic title will, of course, remind you of the Lincoln Park song In the End, but it's not based off of that song. I got the idea for the fic while watching War of the Worlds, to give you some idea of what it's about.

**CHARACTER DEATH WARNING:** Major characters die, starting this chapter, so you've been forewarned! But, just because they've died doesn't mean that they can't show up again. In fact, at least one person who dies this chapter will.

This isn't a war, it's an extermination- _War of the Worlds_(the movie)

**Chapter One:** Broken Dreams

Jack yawned as he stepped out of his cave. It was still early, not even light out. Back in the former life, Jack would sometimes wake up this early to work out before work, or just from not being able to sleep. He soon had the early morning tv land schedule memorized, and could do a very promising impersonation of Gilligan, not that he ever admitted that to anyone. But stepping out of the caves this early was different than most. For one, others were awake, and for another, they were active, but not in a normal way.

The first thing off he notice was that Locke was in the caves, and pacing- back and forth, back and forth, covering a good two or three feet each time. Charlie was back at the caves, though he and Claire had recently moved out, and he was playing a tune on his guitar, though the tune didn't seem familiar and he wasn't singing along.

Alex was also awake, and sitting in the middle of the caves. She was wearing the same black dress she had worn when she was first found months ago, and there were no signs that she had ever been hurt. Her hair was nicely combed, and the dress wasn't even torn. Edging closer, Jack started to hear muttering, and he squinted to see Alex's lips moving slightly, repeating the same froze over and over again:

4 8 15 16 23 42  
4 8 15 16 23 42  
4 8 15 16 23 42  
4 8 15 16 23 42

A notebook lay in her lap open, and Jack quickly recognized it as the notebook they had found in her bag with all the songs written in it. A pencil was in her hands and she was etching something onto the page to the rhythm she was speaking, and when Jack noticed that she was forming numbers, he just assumed it to be the same pattern she was reciting, but was proven wrong. The numbers she was writing was an entirely different set:

6 43 45 91 82 63  
6 43 45 91 82 63  
6 43 45 91 82 63  
6 43 45 91 82 63

Jack frowned, confused. The numbers seemed familiar somehow, but Jack couldn't recall hearing or seeing them anywhere.

_Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom._

Jack swirled to face the back of the caves at the sound of what sounded like someone hitting something with a hammer. Curious, Jack stepped closer, and as he did, the rest of the caves grew dark behind him, and a bright glow formed in front of him. An image faded into the glow, and Jack's heart stopped at the sight of his father's coffin- the very one he had crushed to bits a few days after the crash. Jack swallowed hard, and forced himself to walk towards it, moving through space in heavy steps. Soon Jack was hovering over the coffin, and he closed his eyes before looking down, expecting to see his father; but when he looked down, Kate was there instead.

Taking a step backward, Jack closed his eyes tightly ones more, determined that he was seeing things, but when he reluctantly opened them again, Kate was still there. Dead. Pale. Head turned to the side. And yet she looked so peaceful. So beautiful. Jack's hands began shaking slightly. He was so confused. What was happening? Why was Kate dead, and better yet, why was she in his father's coffin? Just then, Kate's head snapped to the other side, leaving Kate's vacant eyes look up to him. Jack stood in horror as Kate's mouth formed his name, but in concern, not in a haunting way..

someone was saying desperately. Jack, wake up!

Jack's eyes snapped open and darted around to find himself back in his own caves. A small beam of light peered through the opening, so Jack figured it had to be at least seven. Surely he hadn't slept later than that. Kate was on her knees beside him, and sat back with a sigh of relief when she saw that he was awake. Jack let the realization relax him- it was all a dream. Kate was still alive.

You had me scared there for a second, Kate admitted.

Weird dream, Jack muttered, and rolled over, getting to his feet, what time do you think it is?Eight maybe? Kate guessed, and had to hold back from laughing at Jack's reaction. Don't worry, death's managed to wait until you've woken up. Jack mumbled, thinking of his dream.

He reached over for a bottle of water, even though it was a day old. The dream had left Jack with a dry feeling in his throat, and a headache. Gulping the water down, Jack glanced over to Kate, who looked out of place.

Something wrong? Jack asked, whiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

No, it's just.. Kate trailed off, looking down to the floor, and showed no signs of continuing.

Frowning, Jack casually glanced to the floor, and Kate's blanket laying there next to his stuff got Jack thinking about their relationship. He had never seen one progress faster, but what where they supposed to do, wait around for Valentine's Day so the island fairy could grant them rings?

So how do you feel about this? Jack asked, figuring it was high time they talked about the two of them.

About what? Kate asked cluelessly.

Jack said, and looked around, us, living together.

Kate shrugged.

Sawyer hasn't been giving you a hard time about it, has he? Jack asked.

Kate's attention was grabbed at the mention of Sawyer's name, which Jack found odd.

He can joke all he wants but he's only funny to himself, Kate said with a laugh.

That's the spirit, Jack muttered.

His eyes trailed to the corner where he had found the pregnancy test the night before, and realization hit him like bricks. She was pregnant. She had to be. That would explain everything, the sudden exhaustion, the clingyness, and shyness.

Are you sure you're okay? Jack asked again, now even more concern.

Was Kate afraid of how he would react to the news? Jack sighed. One of them had to bring up the subject soon before outrageous lies started about how Kate was gaining weight.

I found a pregnancy test in here last night, Jack admitted.

Something you're wanting to confess, Jack? Kate joked.

Jack's expression grew serious, and Kate immediately defended herself.

It's not mine, she said quickly, I mean, why can't it be Shannon's or..I don't know..but it's not mine.

Jack's eyes grew narrow. He had already confronted the situation, and Kate was clearly nervous about something. Why couldn't she just come forward with it. As if she could read his thoughts, Kate spoke up again.

All right, she sighed, it was mine.

Even though he had suspected this and knew it was most likely true, Jack hadn't really thought about the consequences of it being true. Raising a baby on an island, especially with what happened with Ethan and Claire's child? Jack took a deep breath. He knew this was going to be hard, but Kate needed him right now.

he said, walking over to her, no matter what happens, I'm going to be here, okay?

He placed his hands on Kate's shoulders, but his gaze only caused Kate to look down again.

It was negative, Kate said quietly, I'm not pregnant.

Jack was quiet for a few moments, taking this in. Kate fidgeted slightly underneath his hold, and he knew she was waiting for him to say something.

he finally said, and then sighed in relief, thank God.

He drew Kate into a hug, almost lifting her off her feet in delight. When he sat her back down, Jack realized how that may have come across to her.

Not that I wouldn't of been happy with a baby, Jack said quickly, I mean, really, I would've been. But here, at this place? I think it'd just be better if we waited.Waited'. Jack began thinking, was he really ready to be a father? And if they ever got off the island, what would come of him and his and Sarah's daughter? Would they ever have any kind of relationship? Would he ever even see Sarah again? After Sarah left, Jack was almost afraid of relationship, afraid of being hurt. Surely Kate would never do the same. How wrong he was.

About that.. Kate began, Jack, there's something I need to tell you.

Jack nodded, egging her on and preparing himself for whatever it was that she was going to tell him. But he could've never prepared himself for what he heard.

I slept with Sawyer, Kate confess quietly.

Jack's heart stopped, much like in his dream. He was sure any moment, the world would turn black. She was joking, she had to be. But there was no lie in Kate's eyes. Ashamed, Kate looked down to the ground once more. Jack himself turned away. He couldn't face her. The pain and betrayal he was feeling right now was unlike he had ever experienced before, topping even the worst kidnapping and fights. A knot formed in his stomach and it felt like his throat was closing up. He lowered himself to the ground, afraid if he didn't that he'd fall right over. Jack held his hand to his head to blow off the desire to throw something. The last thing he needed right now was a clean up crew.

Jack struggled to form a sentence, I don't believe this.

Part of Jack was even expecting Kate to come back with a And it was disgusting, but nothing else came from her, until..

I'm sorry, Kate whispered a few moments later.

Your..your sorry? Jack said in disbelief, standing up. No, you don't get to say sorry'. Sorry's no where near..

Jack trailed off, unable to finish. Kate just stood there, unsure of what to do or say.

I thought we really had something, Jack said, now feeling like an idiot. He looked at Kate. I guess I was wrong.I'm sorry, Kate repeated, eyes filled with tears, I..I didn't to protect you.Can't wait to hear this one, Jack said sarcastically in disbelief.

I don't deserve you, okay? Kate cried. I'm just like this..burden that your attached to! If we ever get off of here, this would never work out. I wouldn't want you to stop your life because of me.

Jack watched Kate as she stood there, shaking, believing that this justified what she did.

So then Sawyer's the perfect match? Jack said. Criminal and criminal? What, were you two going to be on the run together? Maybe hide out in a shack somewhere in Tennessee?You have a job! Kate exclaimed. A family..a kid! You think I want you to put that on hold for me?I think you should! Jack shot. I just can't..can't..after all I told you, about Sarah and everything..I'm sorry, Kate repeated desperately.

Forget it, Jack said, angry, leave me the hell alone.Jack, don't do this, Kate beg, there's gotta be an easier way we can-No Kate, that's life, Jack snapped, pain and suffering, and it's hard. It's damn hard!

He looked away, facing the wall.

My father was an alcoholic- a drunk, Jack corrected. When I was a kid I pretty much had to raise myself. I had no life- he turned back around, hands on his hips, still looking down, and then the plane crashed and I met you, and in a crazy way I thought things were really turning around- he shot Kate a cold look, until now.I'm sorry, she repeated quietly, clearly stunned by Jack's outburst.

I'm sorry too, Jack said, beginning to shake himself.

He felt himself growing angry, and began to miss being able to have a punching bag to let out his steam on. As a substitute he spun around and slammed his fist against the wall. Pain shot through his hand and up his wrist, but Jack ignored it, keeping his hand on the wall to hold himself steady as he looked down, unable to look back at Kate.

Get out, he said quietly, shaking.

Kate trembled.

I said GET OUT!Jack shouted.

His voiced echoed in the cave. Kate took one last look at him, almost looking hurt herself, and turned and fled from the cave.

**A few hours later  
**  
Jack finally brought himself to leave the cave when he felt himself get so hungry he began feeling sick. Not to mention he didn't need the rumors spread about him. But when he stepped out of the cave he got the feeling that Kate wasn't the only one that heard the breakup, and he was forced to look at the ground as he walked through the caves, not wanting to meet the eyes that followed him as he walked over to get some more water. He uncapped his bottle and held it under the stream, laying his head against the wall wearily as he let the water fill it up.

said a voice behind him.

Opening his eyes, he saw that Charlie was the first to have the guts to come talk to him.

Jack replied with less enthusiasm.

I heard what happened with Kate, Charlie admitted.

Jack found himself growing angry just at the sound of her name. While alone in the caves, Jack tried to go back to sleep, as the dream had also left him feeling restless, but found himself unable to do so. Instead he did a hundredth inventory of the medical supplies, and packed and unpacked his backpack a dozen times, just to have something to busy himself with.

Don't you think you were a little harsh? Charlie finished.

Jack looked at him, incredulous.

Leave me alone, Jack said, sidestepping Charlie to walk away, afraid if he defended himself it'd result in a fight.

Just as he was about to ask Sun if she had any more of that soup, the ground began to shake. The cave walls rumbled, though it wasn't enough to bring them down. Jack held onto the wall to keep his balance, though a few around him weren't such quick thinkers and tripped to the ground. Once the shake was over, Jack turned turned back to Danielle, who was in her regular spot in the corner.

Get everyone to the beach, he ordered, tell them not to bring more than they may need for the day. Meet me there as soon as you can.

Danielle nodded, though there was a trace of fear in her eyes, and Jack got the feeling that she had overheard him shouting earlier too.

Jack said, and left.

**At the beach**

There wasn't even a second quake! Charlie complained, speaking out for the group of cavers that had gathered around him on the beach.

Most of the castaways were present, but Jack couldn't help to notice that neither Kate nor Sawyer were accounted for.

Dude, it wasn't a quake! Hurley spoke out. Didn't you hear that thing last night?

Jack's eyes narrowed at this new information, and whispers started up amongst the survivors.

We're all going to be fine, Jack spoke out above them, you can go back to the caves, but if there's a second quake-It wasn't a quake! Hurley argued.

Jack glared at him.

If there's a second quake, Jack went on, and sighed, realizing that he had no real solution, then we'll need to stay together.

More conversation sparked in the group, and those who were at the caves before began moving back, grumbling about the useless walk to the beach. Out of the crowd emerged Alex, who ran towards Jack, who was already preoccupied with another castaway.

I don't know what's going on, Jack repeated to the man, but I promise you that you and your wife will be safe.

The man nodded hesitantly, and walked back to his wife who was waiting for them near the jungle.

Alex called, running towards him.

he greeted, relieved to see a friendly face that didn't seem ready to get on to him for his argument with Kate.

Alex said again.

Jack noticed that she was shaking inside her sweatshirt.

I don't think we should go that way, she finally said, breathing hard.

Jack asked, raising an eyebrow.

A loud roar responded, and Jack looked over just in time to see the ground in front of the path to the cave break open, shooting dirt and sand into the air. Jack stood, both fascinated and horrified at what he was seeing, and the screams that could be heard. Alex grabbed on to him, trembling. He put put a comforting arm around her, but couldn't advert his eyes from the scene.

**Author's Note:** Yep, this fic's all about old thirty eyes in the jungle. He shows up a lot, but don't worry, it's not all running, there's story too. Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter of As You Like It! You guys rock!  
**  
Coming up next, on In the End:**

So, who died in that attack? You'll find out, though it's not the last time you'll see he/she/it. Other than that, I'm not really sure of what will happen, but I will tell you a little bit about the story. Sawyer will get a new love interest- that's not Kate, life and death situations will force Jack and Kate back together, and a new part of the island is discovered- or whether, rediscovered.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	2. Memories

In the End  
Chapter Two

**Chapter Two: **Memories

Jack knew that now no one would dare go into the jungle. The beach reeked of death, and even the skies had grown cloudier, as if it knew that a bright sunny atmosphere wasn't right for the time. He wasn't sure how many castaways had come up to ask him what was going on, but he knew that he hadn't given a single one of them a straight answer. Sighing, Jack looked around the beach camp. Clumps of sand that didn't belong there were sprawn here and there, and grass and mud covered most of the jungle line. Footsteps came up behind him, and Jack swirled around, furious.

Jack said forcefully, there's no possible way I could know what's going on! Now would you please just- A voice said to cut him off.

Taking the time to see who he was actually yelling at, Jack noticed that it was Sayid.

Jack said, I'm just a little..stressed out.I know, Sayid said, but we have to decide on what we're going to do.No one's going back into the jungle, Jack said, no matter what we say, but if we stay here, we'll need supplies.

Sayid nodded in agreement.

I'll take a trip up there, Sayid offered.

I'll go with you, Jack said.

You don't have to. Jack protested, I want to go.

The last place he wanted to be was at the beach right now, where either Kate, Sawyer, or God forbid, both, could walk by at any moment.

All right, Sayid agreed, I'll see if there's any one who wants to help.Good luck, Jack muttered.

I'll go, a voice volunteered behind them.

Sayid and Jack turned to see that Alex had been listening into their conversation.

We've got it covered, Jack said quickly.

You just said you were going to get help, Alex pointed out, and besides, no one could help like I could.

Alex winked, and Jack wondered if her sudden offering to volunteer her powers had anything to do with the large number of people on the beach and herself being alone amongst them.

Jack nodded, relating to where she was coming from, tell your mom where your going.She won't care, Alex said.

Jack looked at her as if saying don't contradict me Alex exclaimed, throwing her hands up.

Jack and Sayid chuckled, and Jack was thinking, _Teenage harmones_, as Alex stormed off.

**In the jungle**

Ten minutes later, Jack, Sayid, and Alex were walking back to the caves. There was a thick line of tension between the three, which was odd since each of them had taken the same journey a thousand times.

Your mom didn't want to come? Jack asked three minutes in to break the tension.

I didn't ask, Alex replied.

They walked on a few more feet. It disturbed Jack to know that any moment now they could be sucked into the ground and swallowed whole. He found himself walking faster with the thought.

What did Shannon say about you coming? Jack asked Sayid.

He knew that Shannon and Sayid were getting closer, and frankly he was glad that there was another romance for people to gossip about besides him and Kate. Of course, with his and Kate's recent breakup, Jack knew they'd be the talk of the island.

I convinced her to stay with Sun, Sayid said, I thought she could use a friend right now.Who, Shannon? Jack said.

No, Sun.Doesn't she have Michael to talk to? Jack said, remembering seeing the two talking quite frequently the past few days.

Sayid grew quite until he finally said:

Michael died.

Jack stopped in his tracks, though Alex kept moving forward.

Jack finally forced out.

In the attack, Sayid explained quietly behind him, Charlie found his body.

Jack swallowed and was unable to turn around and face Sayid. He had just talked to Michael yesterday afternoon. What was their conversation about? Jack stretched his memory, trying to recall, only remembering something about peaches and soup. Now that he thought about it, that was when he was looking for something to eat.

What about Walt? Jack asked hesitantly.

We haven't found a body, Sayid replied, barely audible.

Talking about death had to be one of Jack's least favorite activities, and talking about a child's death was even worse. He almost thought it'd be better if Walt had died with Michael, knowing how hard and painful life would be for Walt afterwards. Jack finally was able to take his eyes off the ground and looked up to see that Alex was a good twenty feet in front of them. It was then that Jack remembered that Alex and Michael had been somewhat of friends, and that this would be the second death of a friend she'd experience on the island.

Hey, Alex! Jack called after her. Wait up!

Alex ignored him and let Jack run to catch up with him as she kept walking.

Jack called again, this time making Alex angry.

She demanded as she walked on.

You've got to talk to me! Jack said, finally catching up with her.

He spun her around, careful not to grab her too hard.

What's going on inside your head? Jack asked, worried about Alex now more than ever. What're you thinking?

Jack knew he wouldn't get a direct answer, but it was worth a shot.

Alex studied him for a moment, as if wondering if Jack was worth confessing to.

I'm thinking I've had a bad week, Alex said, staring coldly into his eyes.

She then spun around, leaving Jack frustrated and concern.

You can't shut me out! Jack yelled after her.

The world doesn't revolve around you! Alex called back.

Jack sighed and heard Sayid finally catching up to him.

Give her time, Sayid suggested.

I thought I did, Jack muttered, and then began walking forward again.  
**  
At the Caves**

Alex ran the rest of the way to the caves, only going that way to get an item left behind. When she entered the caves, however, the emptiness of it caught her off guard. Death made up the atmosphere around her made her feel sick and Alex collapsed against one of the walls. She gasped for breath but was unable to regain a steady rhythm, and began crying in heavy sobs. She hated the world now more than she ever had. More than when her father died, when she was thrown into a foster family, after she dropped out of school. Alex hated the world and the island, but most of all, hated that she couldn't change it.

Came Jack's voice behind her.

How had he caught up with her so fast?

Go away! She sobbed into her arm.

She breathed harder and harder as she sobbed, and had trouble clinging to the wall as she began to slide down it. Jack's hand held onto her shoulder to keep her balance, and Alex found herself flinching at his touch.

I'm not going to hurt you, Jack said assuringly, but I need you to breathe slowly. In and out. In..and out.

He repeated the phrase several times, performing it himself along with her until Alex finally regained a steady rhythm.

she whispered, whipping the tears from her eyes.

Jack replied.

Sayid entered the room at that moment and Jack motioned for him to leave, that he had it under control.

Are you going to be okay? Jack asked her.

Alex nodded, and stood up straight. Jack gave her a small pat on the shoulder and then turned away and started packing up supplies. They really had no idea how long they'd be on the beach, but Jack didn't want to take any chances, so he gathered basic medical supplies, and some hand towels. He heard Sayid fill up some bottles of water by the cave, and Jack regretted not asking more people to help. This was going to be a lot to carry. On the other side of the caves Jack noticed that Alex was leafing through bags.

Searching for something? He asked casually.

Alex said, it's nothing.

Jack snorted at the answer.

You ran a mile to search for nothing? Jack said.

Shut up, Alex muttered, and Jack did knowing that'd they'd most likely only stay getting along like this for a while.

Jack sat his backpack down on the ground and unzipped it to start putting in supplies. Just as he was about to stick in an extra hand towel, he noticed something brown and leather sticking out of the front pocket. Jack had almost forgot about the wallet being in there, and took it out to look in it, just for old time's sake.

he said to Alex, can I tell you a secret? Alex shrugged.

You already probably know, Jack said, thinking of how she was normally able to so easily read his mind.

I don't, Alex promised truthfully.

I have a daughter, Jack confessed, blushing.

Alex squealed. How old? Jack said thoughtfully, and then sighed, or three. Or four. I don't know.Not very close, huh? Alex said sympathetically.

Jack admitted, shaking his head.

He flipped through the photos of the wallet until he landed on the picture of the little girl he never knew he had- until it was too late.

Jack took out the picture with a quick swipe and handed it to Alex.

She's beautiful, Alex commented, staring down at the picture of the girl.

Alex could detect traces of Jack in the little girl's eyes and facial features, though the smile seemed strange in foreign. Maybe if Jack would actually smile for once, she'd recognize it.

What's her name? Alex asked, handing the picture back.

Jack replied, comes from Catherine, or- Alex finished.

Jack said softly, looking down.

Alex brushed against his arm as she placed the picture in his hand.

It'll be okay, she said gently.

Jack nodded and placed the picture back in the plastic frame.

I know, he said, though he didn't really think so.

Each of the two went back to their searching and packing, and remained in silence for a few moments, letting the only given sound come from the running waterfall nearby.

So what were you looking for? Jack asked for a second time.

Alex's hands fell on the object just as he asked.

she replied again softly, and looked down at the picture taken of herself and Adam in Paris.  
**  
3 months ago  
**  
_Alex forced her eyes open to find herself staring at a pool of blood. She winced as she lifted her head up, and blinked away the mixture of tears and crimson in her eye. Running a hand across her face, Alex brought back blood and sand, and as she lifted herself onto her elbow, Alex noticed that she was lying on what was once a white sandy beach looking out over a sunny, blue horizon. She ran a hand through her drenched hair and looked over beside her, where Adam was laying in a bloody pulp. In a panic she collapsed beside him, and checked for a pulse, not letting go until she finally found one._

Carefully she turned Adam over onto his back to reveal that half of his left hand was missing. She cringed but was determined to not let the blood get to her. Alex tore the fabric off the end of her dress and wrapped it tightly around Adam's hand, though the rushing blood absorbed it right up. Looking around Alex prayed that one of the others had crashed near them, but had no such luck. The only things around were some pieces of wreckage from the ship, and dots and puddles of blood here and there. The site was enough to make Alex sick.

Just then her prayers were answered when someone came running to her through the trees. Alex soon recognized her as the other girl who was on the boat. She had blonde hair that was now highlighted in blood, but Alex couldn't recall a name.

Oh my God! The girl shouted. Are you okay? Alex stuttered, hardly recognizing the sound of her own voice. the girl said, falling to the ground, but Mitch..he..he..It's okay, Alex lied, but you've got to help me with him.

Alex nodded to the unconscious Adam on the ground and the girl looked about ready to throw up.

Alex pleaded, he can't die.

Alex looked into the girls eyes pleadfully, desperate.

All right, she finally agreed, and then held out a hand, I'm Carrie, by the way. Alex replied, shaking her hand, could you find anyone else?There were only five of us, Carrie said, and after Mitch that leaves Will.

Alex nodded though she really had no clue who Carrie was talking about. She placed her hands on her knees and sighed as she looked down at Adam, praying that for ones, some higher power was there to help her, because no ability was going to save her now.  
  
**Author's Note: **Too short, I know, but I wasn't sure what else to do this early on. Thanks to those of you who reviewed! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on In the End:**

Sayid confronts Jack about his recent breakup, and in flashbacks you'll learn what went on between Kate and the Marshall before the flight, and I'm not talking about the scene at the airport.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	3. If You Can't Beat 'Em

In the End  
Chapter Three

**Chapter Three: **If you can't beat em..**  
**  
Jack and Sayid left the caves, hiking a few feet in front of Alex, who had originally started out with them but had fallen behind. Jack felt a little uneasy with Alex behind him, mostly worried for her well-being, but he also knew that being psychic and in front of them, she'd most likely be able to warn them of any danger ahead. However, Jack didn't like the idea of putting that kind of pressure on her, and let himself trust that it was a short hike and nothing would go wrong, though he still caught himself glancing back to make sure she was still behind them.

I overheard you and Alex talking, Sayid said, breaking Jack from his thoughts.

He just now realized that without the normal population of the caves with them, Sayid would've been able to hear the two even if they had been whispering.

You have a daughter? Sayid asked, sounding both interesting and impressed.

Jack said with a sheepish grin, we're not very close. Her mother and I split a few years ago after she got pregnant.m sorry, Sayid said sincerely.

It's in the past, Jack said, shrugging it off.

They walked on a few more paces before Jack decided that he hated the conversation always being on him.

So are you married? Jack asked, before realizing what a stupid question that was.

Sayid was now obviously very close to Shannon, and he didn't seem to Jack like the kind to cheat. Of course, neither did Kate..

Sayid said seriously despite Jack's stupidity, I've spent all my life searching for a woman- or at least the greater part of it.

Did you find her? Jack asked stupidly.

Sayid grew quiet before replying.

She was on the flight ahead of us, he responded quietly.

Jack stated simply, not sure what to think.

Don't worry, Sayid said, reading his mind, Shannon and I have talked it over.

Jack nodded, but couldn't help but to feel jealous at Shannon and Sayid's successful relationship. Once again Sayid seemed to be able to read Jack's thoughts, and stopped him from going any further down the path.

I heard about the breakup, Sayid confessed.

Jack looked down, embarrassed at having to be confronted about this.

You didn't deserve that, Sayid said, making Jack feel like a kid who was having this conversation with a father.

And then just the fact that that wasn't possible anymore was enough to cause a single tear to dwell in Jack's eye, and he fought his best to hold it back.

If you need anything, Sayid began, just ask.

Jack nodded quickly, maybe a little too quickly.

And if you want me to take over this whole.. Sayid searched for the word, operation, just ask.It's fine, Jack said, though his mind was really shouting for Sayid to take over.

He didn't want to be responsible for any more deaths. He didn't want to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders- he really, truthfully didn't, but he was going to: because these people needed him.

I need to do this, Jack went on and then added, they need me too.

Sayid studied Jack as if sensing that he wasn't being completely truthful.

Are we planning on making it back anytime soon? Alex asked from behind them, sounding impatient.

We were just finishing up, Jack said, and threw a look of appreciation towards Sayid before turning back down the path.

**At the Beach**

Kate sat alone on the shore, staring out into the horizon as she had been doing all morning. She hadn't gone to the main part of the camp in fear of having to face someone. Gossip and rumor would've started the moment she left the caves and Kate didn't want to be there to experience them first hand. All day long no one had bothered her, and she was happy at that, though of course just at that thought Shannon came running up to her, crying and looking a mess.

What happened? Kate asked, standing up and brushing the sand off of her pants.

I don't know! Shannon gasped between sobs. I was talking to Sun and I mentioned Jin and then Michael and she..she..just started crying! I didn't know what to do!And you just left her there! Kate exclaimed, disgusted.

m not exactly the comforting type, Shannon snapped and then pleaded desperately: please..I'm sorry, I screwed up..I was just trying to help!Okay, okay, Kate sighed, desperate to get Shannon to calm down, take me to her.

**Down the Beach**

Sun was sitting by herself, purposefully distance from everyone. She could hear voices around her, maybe even voices that were speaking to her, but Sun couldn't process what was being said or happening. Tears swelled her eyes, blocking her once clear view of the ocean. Michael was dead. Walt was missing. Maybe a dozen others- dead. And then there was Jin. Dead without a reason. Without explanation.

How're you holding up? Kate's voice asked gently, approaching.

She didn't reply. She couldn't. Kate sat down to the right of her, and Sun knew the shadow over her meant that Shannon had come back with her.

Sun forced out. I need to be alone.No you don't, Kate said softly, you need someone to talk to.I don't want to talk to anyone here, Sun said, sobbing softly.

Beside her Kate looked up and whispered something to Shannon, who then left, leaving only the two.

You can talk to me, Kate said in a comforting voice.

Sun cried a little while longer before finally being able to choke out another sentence.

Why did they have to die? She whispered softly.

Kate frowned in confusion.

She repeated.

Sun looked at her, just now realizing that Kate hadn't been around to witness the attack.

Sun explained, Michael's dead.

Kate's mouth dropped agape.

She said, shocked.

Shaking her head, Sun signaled that she was unable to tell the story, and continued crying. Kate rubbed her back soothingly to calm her down, which caused Sun's sobs to mysteriously turn to only smaller ones, and soon she was down to only quiet tears again.

I heard about the breakup, Sun said, wishing to take the conversation off herself, m sorry.

Kate grew quiet, though she still kept a supportive arm around Sun's shoulders.

I was going to leave Jin, Sun confessed, in Sydney.

Kate's eyes grew wide in surprise.

But why? She said, sounding almost heartbroken. You two seemed so..in love.

Sun couldn't help but to smile a little at the compliment.

He had this job, Sun explained, it..it was killing him, and he was doing it for me. The connection between us was never really that strong..except from in the beginning.

She smiled sadly, remembering when they first met and her days together with Jin before all the madness started.

I thought it was best for both of us, she finished softly.

Kate stared at her in admiration for a minute before speaking again.

What changed your mind? She asked curiously.

Sun smile widened a little.

she responded simply, and almost happily.

Kate smiled as well, though a little confused at how the conversation had gone, and envying Sun's way of change.

**4 months ago  
**  
The marshall threw Kate down on the hood of the car with no sympathy, and slapped the handcuffs hard against her wrist.

Do we even need to go through the rights? The marshall said with a slick grin that Kate wanted to smash off his face.

Get off of me, Kate muttered, furious.

Why did she have to care about that stupid old man so much? And in the end he died. No good deed goes unpunished.

Get in the car, the marshall said, annoyed.

Lifting her by the arms, he shoved Kate into the passenger seat and slammed the door. He was over in his own seat quicker than lightening, as if afraid Kate would run away, which left Kate amused. The marshall slammed the driver's side door and put the keys in the ignition. He turned it three times but the car failed him, and Kate smiled again. Frustrated, the marshall punched the steering wheel until his wrist grew red and threw himself back against the seat. Kate just chuckled.

You're enjoying this, aren't you? He said, disgusted.

Kate shrugged. The marshall shook his head and took out his cell phone and, of course, could get no service. Kate silently thanked the dead man's soul for taking the long way to the train station. The marshall threw his phone out the window with a cry of anger, which she knew he'd soon regret.

So I guess it's just you and me, the marshall said.

It was hard to tell if he was pleased at this or if he was thinking this was hell.

Why'd you have to go after that guy? The marshall asked a few minutes later, sounding disappointed, which only pleased Kate. Do you believe in karma or something?

Kate didn't answer as she turned her gazed towards the window, and through the small crack at the top, absorbed the sweet smell of the fields around them, and enjoying the sunshine. As much as she hated to admit, this could very well be the last time she'd be able to enjoy such a moment. Beside her the marshall also looked deep in thought, as if he was having trouble processing the fact that he had finally found his most prized possession. But Kate wasn't going to let herself be caught, not that easily. She had to think of a plan and quick. The phone going out and the car starting up couldn't of happened just so her and the marshall could have a heart to heart. 

Kind of crazy, huh? She finally offered. All this running and you finally caught me. Congratulations.

The marshall didn't reply. Kate knew that she was now taking on his game and things to say, which seemed to be making him jealous.

Just wondering, she went on, turning to the marshal, what were you planning to do with me when you caught me?

The marshall stared at her, sickened.

What the hell are you talking about?

Kate tried her best to turn on her side and leaned forward, surprising the marshall with a kiss. _If you can't beat em, seduce em,_ she thought. Immediately Kate found herself wishing the marshall didn't go along with this for her sake. She hated the way he smelled, tasted- it was like kissing a pub's counter after St. Patrick's day. He was clearly a heavy drinker and smoked..well, she couldn't be sure what it was. And at first it did look like the marshall was going to go with it. He held the kiss for a few moments, deepening it with his own passion that Kate forced herself to return. At last he broke away, and Kate had to refrain from gasping for breath.

Well aren't you somethin'? The marshall said with the same grin from the arrest.

Staring at him, Kate prayed that he'd just let the moment go. What the hell was she thinking? That maybe she's force herself to fall into a fake love, move in together, then murder the marshall cold blood before the electricity was turned on? Then, out of nowhere a hand slapped across her face, slamming Kate against the cold leather of the truck. Kate gasped in the sudden pain, and winced as she brought a hand to her stinging cheek.

Get out of the car, the marshall said in a devilish tone.

Kate just glared.

I said get out! The marshall screamed, pulling a gun on her.

Kate quickly obeyed, struggling to open the door, and trying to ignore the pain from both her cheek and wrist.

**Author's Notes:** Okay, once again, too short, I know, but I'm having to take this fic slowly at first because I've only planned long term plots. I've decided that each character(or the characters that have flashbacks) will have two flashbacks each, or one long one, depending on what I come up with. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You guys rock!

**Chris-** there should be more Shannon and Claire coming up. I know that Charlie should be having more of a role soon but, once again, I still have to decide on how I want to do all of that.

**Coming up next, on In the End:**

I think the next chapter will be Sawyer flashbacks, but don't count on that. Walt is dead, that'll be made known but you have to think about it for a minute. Whenever Kate's flashbacks come up again, the marshall will get a name, and in Alex's you'll find out just what happened with her friends and how they died(remember, they were found dead but they're not dead yet n the flashback). Um..let's see. Someone dead will come back..and don't be afraid of the character death thing. There's not going to be a death every chapter..I think.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	4. On the Edge

In the End  
Chapter Four  
**  
Author's Note: **Sawyer's flashbacks take place after he mistakenly murdered the shrimp guy in .

**Disclaimer:**_ October Sky_ was written by Homer Hickman. As much as I wish I was that creative, I didn't come up with the awesome name for my favorite month.****

Chapter Four:

Sawyer sat by himself at the fire that night. A few hours ago Sayid, Alex, and Jack had returned with water and food, and Sawyer grabbed some early, making sure Jack didn't see him. Of course, this meant that he finished eating earlier, meaning he'd get hungry again quick. But Sawyer decided to just deal with it. What was a stomachache compared to what could possibly be..death?  
**  
4 months ago**

_It was like the key was refusing to fit into the lock. Sawyer let out a groan of frustration as he tried to unlock the hotel room for the fourth time. As if someone were watching him, just waiting to see how far he'd go before he reached the limit, the lock clicked just as he slammed his fist against the door. He threw open the door and entered the room quickly, as if he were running from something. Shivering, Sawyer closed the door and threw the key onto the bed._

So you got in okay?

Sawyer jumped at the Australian accent he didn't recognize. Turning around, Sawyer sighed in relief when he saw it was only a maid. She was a blonde, standing at maybe five two, slightly shorter than he was, with a bright smile.

Sawyer said, offering the maid a small smile that barely made it past a smirk, the maid said, pulling something from behind her back, here are some fresh towels. We don't put mints on the pillows, but I can snag you one from downstairs if you want. Sawyer said, slightly amused at the woman's perkiness against his depressed demeanor, but I've been here for a few days. said the maid, who began rolling back on her heals.

Sawyer couldn't help but to notice how the woman kept glancing at him from underneath some lose strands of hair.

the maid said again with a smile, nice to meet you. Hope you enjoy your stay.

He nodded though secretly Sawyer knew that the next few nights were going to be some of his worse. The maid smile once more as if she could sense that he needed it, and then left, closing the door behind her. Sawyer turned back to the bed and started shiver again. His hair was still soaking wet and his jacket was drenched. The denim of his blue jeans clung to Sawyer's legs, making every step he took feel like he was walking through water. At last he thought to take off his jacket, but just as he reached for the zipper his hand landed on the jacket's inner pocket where the gun still lay.

Frozen, Sawyer felt his mind lock. His hand tightened around the gun's handle and he pulled it out, feeling like someone or something was controlling him. Pulling out the gun, images of who he thought was the man who ruined his life came to mind, followed by images of himself aiming the gun at the man's heart, pulling the trigger. And in the end he had the wrong man. He had taken an innocent life with little effort. He hadn't even moved the body in fear of his fingerprints being found, but more importantly, fear of facing what he had done, and how it had been so easy for him.

Looking down at the gun, Sawyer began to shake. There were still a few bullets left, he knew, and he also knew that it'd only take one of them to end it. End it all. The gun stared up at Sawyer, as if it were calling him, telling him this was the answer. The easy way out. Life- or whether, death- really could be this easy, and here was his chance. He stared back at the gun, glaring at it, and made up his mind.

In one furious rush of motion, Sawyer rushed forward, threw open the balcony door, and lunged the gun over the railing and into the ocean below, the thought that someone may have seen that never crossing his mind.

a soft voice said from the next balcony over.

Sawyer's heart leapt, and he had to force himself to see who was talking to him. The occupant of the voice was young, like the maid, with light brown hair that fell well beyond her shoulders. Sawyer didn't reply, too nervous to say anything. This woman could be the person who would determine whether or not he'd spend the next part of his life in a cell or not. This wasn't the time to say the wrong thing.

I'm proud of you, the woman continued softly.

Now this was just getting weird. Here was a woman, another American at that, sitting in the pouring rain telling a man she had never met that she was proud of him.

The gun, she said, nodding towards the ocean, I know how hard it is.

Sawyer snorted.

You have no idea.But I do, the woman replied, standing up and walking towards Sawyer's side of the railing. My best friend died when I was sixteen. Drunk driver.

Sawyer glanced over at her curiously.

I was the driver, the woman finished quietly, and looked away.

Sawyer did as well. What were you suppose to say to a story like that?

You may think your doing the right thing, the woman went on, but your not- she breathed in deeply, sometimes you've just gotta stepped on the edge.

Glancing over again, Sawyer found himself anticipating the woman's advice. For the first time he felt like he was with someone that could understand him, understand how hard it was. Something landed on his nose, and Sawyer looked up. He had completely forgotten it was raining. Looking back down, the woman smiled at him.

m glad you stepped off, she finished.

She winked and then turned on her heals, and headed back into her room, closing the door quietly behind her. Sighing, Sawyer looked back down to the waters below, trying to make out his reflection. He couldn't. Sawyer looked back into the room the woman had walked into, which was now lighted brightly from a lamp. Smiling, Sawyer could picture her in her room now, probably reading- yeah, reading. Most likely some literature, he thought, Wuthering Heights or maybe something by Stephen King. She seemed to him like the type who could make that transition with ease.

Slapping his hand against the wet balcony, Sawyer pushed himself off, almost smiling at the possibility of seeing her again. m glad you stepped off . He opened the door to his room, stripping off his jacket and throwing it onto a nearby chair. His hand shook as he reached into his pocket, and pulled out his now soaked letter, and opened it quickly before he could change his mind. Sawyer set down on the edge of the bed, despite the fact that his jeans were still wet, and began to read..

Dear Mr. Sawyer..

_ For the first time, he was unable to get past the opening. Sawyer found himself wondering, was he really planning on changing for good? If he was, would he be able to? Or had he just made yet another mistake?  
_  
**2004**

There you are, said a voice from behind him, I've been looking for you.

Though he had only heard the voice once, Sawyer could've placed it as Rebecca's from a mile away. She offered herself a seat next to him, and reached into a kaki messenger back she was carrying.

You forgot something, she said softly, handing him a book.

Sawyer took it, glancing at Rebecca unsurely, and looked at the title:_ October Sky_.

This is yours, Sawyer pointed out.

I thought you might like it, Rebecca explained, it's set in the south.

Sawyer raised an eyebrow, wondering if she was some kind of mind reader.

The accent, Rebecca said with a smile, I'm from Kentucky myself. You can't really tell though.Past through Kentucky once, Sawyer said, recalling a runaway incident from when he was sixteen.

He had then decided that there was no place for him but the south. Big cities gave him headaches.

Tennessee, right? Rebecca asked him.

Sawyer nodded, wondering once again how she knew that.

I had a friend from Tennessee once, Rebecca said, East Tennessee. Which part are you from? Sawyer muttered, now finding all the personal questions a bit annoying.

Knoxville it is, Rebecca said, smiling at her own little mind game.

Sawyer looked at her, incredulous. Did this woman ever stop?

Well anyway, Rebecca said, standing up and brushing the sand off of her pants, hope you enjoy the book.

She gave Sawyer a pat on the shoulder as she left, and Sawyer didn't even realize that he didn't want her to go until she was already gone. Sawyer turned back to the fire, and heaved a sigh as he opened the book to the first page..

_Until I began to build and launch rockets, I didn't know my hometown was at war with itself.._

A low rumbling coming from the direct of the jungle drew Sawyer's attention away from the book, as it did many others. He looked back behind him, and panicked when he didn't see Rebecca. The rumble started up again, and Sawyer turned back towards the jungle, watching as Jack stood up(he had been sitting with Sayid and Shannon; Sawyer snorted, wondering what Shannon had to think about that) and crept towards the sound. Sawyer glanced behind him again, and his heart began to race. The low rumble started up again and many others got to their feet, and frightened whispers of conversation stirred around him. Squinting to see, Sawyer noticed that someone was now running out of the jungle, and Sawyer watched as whoever it was began describing their story to Jack and Sayid..  
**  
A few yards away, a few minutes ago  
**  
Jack stared dully into the fire in front of him. He had taken up Sayid's offer to stay with him and Shannon, not wanting to have to sit alone and hear people talk about him. So instead he was condemned to Sayid's and Shannon's chatter, which, after a while, got down right annoying. Jack found himself jealous of their happiness, and was contemplating getting up and leaving, a low roar- no louder than a rumble- shook the ground around them. Jack stood as it started a second time, bracing himself for another attack. He could already see the ground splitting open in front of him, but instead of running from it, Jack inched closer.

Out of the corner of his eye Jack was sure he saw a figure run past a tree in the jungle, but he was sure he was just seeing things until the figure ran straight for him, breathing heavily and leaping over every tiny twig and rock. Jack couldn't put a name to the person until they reached them, and was surprised to see it was Boone. He realized that he hadn't seen Boone nor Locke all day, and wondered where they had been. Did they even know what was going on? Boone tried to say something, but was so out of breath he couldn't even make out a comprehendible syllable. Sayid handed Jack a bottle of water, who handed it to Boone, and after a few swallows was finally able to talk.

Locke's missing, Boone siad through a gasp of breath, we were out there and we heard that..thing..and..we were trying to get out of the jungle and he just disappeared!

Jack frowned at the story, which didn't make sense.

Jack repeated.

The jungle got to thick, Boone explained, I just now got out.

Jack wondered how long Boone had been running, and how it was that he and Locke appeared to have heard the monster maybe hours ago, and they were just hearing it now. It was just then that Jack noticed that Boone wasn't even talking to him, but Sayid. The two seemed to be having some kind of conversation with their eyes, and Jack began to get the feeling that they knew something he didn't.

I'll go find him, Jack said, grabbing his bag from the ground.

Sayid said, so quickly that Jack raised an eyebrow, I'll go. I know the ground better.It's night, Jack pointed out.

Sayid said.

Sayid picked up his own bag and gave Shannon a quick kiss goodbye. Jack noticed that Boone looked away, obviously feeling a bit awkward, and Jack felt bad for him. He knew too well how it felt to lose someone you loved to someone else.

What if something happens? Shannon said, a look of worry on her face.

Nothing will, a voice behind them promised, and the three turned to see that Alex had been listening in.

She looked directly at Jack.

Can I talk to you? She asked.

The tone of her voice hinted to Jack that whatever it was must be important. Jack finally nodded in agreement, and turned back to Sayid and Boone.

Be careful, he warned.

Don't worry, Sayid said, and gave Shannon's hand a squeeze before heading into the jungle.

Jack turned back to Alex, who led him over a good distance away from Shannon and everyone else for that matter.

I need you to help me, Alex said quietly, even though there was no possible way anyone could've overheard them.

Jack said.

He wondered if Alex had expected him to say anything else because she went quiet after that. It was obvious that asking for his help was something that she had been working up to all day, and Jack felt bad about not being able to help her get to that point.

I need you to come with me, Alex said, glancing around nervously, to the caves.

Jack raised an eyebrow in surprised.

he said hesitantly, not wanting to let the girl down, you know we can't.. Alex begged with pleading eyes.

Whatever's wrong I'm sure I can just help you here, Jack said.

You can't, Alex said, practically in tears now, please! Nothing will go wrong, I promise.

Jack looked around the beach at the different castaways and their little groups, all chatting and some already falling asleep. Sighing, Jack realized how alone he was, and realized that part of him wanted to go with Alex just for the company- he'd never get any sleep tonight anyway. But yet the other part of him knew that he shouldn't leave the others, and felt a little uneasy about being responsible for a teenager when whatever that thing was was still out there, and especially with it being night. He looked back at Alex and met her helpless eyes, which made him crumble in defeat.

he agreed with a sigh, let me tell Shannon where we're going.

Alex looked down to the ground quickly.

I'll tell her I left something, Jack offered.

Alex gave him a small smile of appreciation and followed him towards Shannon, who was now sitting alone by their fire, knees drawn to her chest, looking angry.

We're going back to the caves, Jack told her, I left something there.

Jack couldn't be sure if Shannon even knew what he had told her, but he didn't want to risk repeating himself and her starting a scene.

Did you tell your mom? Jack asked, turning to the jungle.

Alex replied, a little quickly.

Jack raised an eyebrow. It didn't take a psychic to know she was lying through her teeth.

Come on, she said, dragging him out into the jungle before he could protest.

Their trip through the jungle was easy enough, with no rumbles or roars, only an occasional stumble over a tree limb. When they reached the caves it seemed even more vacant before, like a ghost town. The emptiness of it sent shivers down Jack's spine. Alex brushed past him, heading for the waterfall.

Can you..go over there? She asked, pointing towards the other side of the caves.

Jack frowned but still obeyed. He walked over to the other side of the caves and sat down, enjoying his moment of rest.

All right, Alex said, taking a deep breath.

When Jack looked up he noticed that Alex's hair and face was wet. She had wiped all the makeup off and now Jack was looking at the real Alex, and a fair amount of bruising too. He was startled by her appearance, and wondered why he had led himself to believe that somehow it couldn't have been that bad. Once again Alex looked to be in tears, and Jack's eyes were full of sympathy as he stood and walked back over to her.

I didn't think the salt would mix well with the wounds, Alex explained in a whisper.

Jack didn't know what to say. As many patients as he had had before, he had never been as close on a personal-friendship level as Alex, and the effects were hitting him hard.

My head's been hurting all day, Alex told him, I've taking aspirin, Tylenol, everything. And then it started stinging and then- said Jack, taking a deep breath, slow down. It'll be fine.

Alex nodded as she caught her breath and let Jack sit her down on the concrete floor. A half an hour later Jack had given Alex's head a full examination.

So no concussion? Alex said hopefully.

No concussion, Jack confirmed.

Alex smiled as Jack gently let go of her head.

There could've been though, Jack said.

Alex looked down to avoid Jack's eyes.

You really should've told me, Jack said.

I know, Alex said quietly, it was just..embarrasing.

Jack looked at her sympathetically and then looked down to the ground before throwing his leg over the rock and standing up.

We should head back, Jack said, looking around the caves one last time.

Alex began, I was kind of thinking..can we stay here for the night? Jack said, surprised.

It's late and dark and..That didn't matter before, Jack said.

Alex didn't reply, and once again, her sad expression got the best of Jack's guilt.

I guess it wouldn't hurt, Jack sighed, it'll be morning in a few hours anyway.

Alex gave him a small smile of gratefulness and then shivered as she rolled down the sleeve of her sweatshirt. The bruising and pain hadn't been as bad as it had yesterday, but Jack had insisted on making sure she didn't have a sprain. Alex snorted. Doctors. Jack took a swig of his bottle of water, refilled it, and held it to his heading, sighing in relief.

Alex asked.

Just a small one, Jack said, forcing a smile.

He looked over at Alex, studying her behavior. Throughout his examination of her injuries, Alex had been quiet.

Any reason you're wanting to say?

Alex didn't answer.

Are you afraid to walk back? Jack suggested.

Still no answer, which told Jack that maybe no answer was his answer.  
So are you sure it'd be all right? Jack said. No weird visions or feelings?

He let out a laugh at asking the question, while Alex just simply shook her head.

All right then, Jack sighed.

It also didn't take a psychic to see that it was going to be a long night.

**Author's Note: **I'll hopefully get a lot done this weekend. If not, I hope everyone has a happy and safe Halloween! Thanks so much for all the reviews! You guys rock!

**Whirlwind-2005:** Yes, the series had to end sometime and I decided to end it at an even twenty. All I can say is..don't get too attached to anyone-_ anyone_. And as much as I love _Alias_' ability to kill off and bring back every character five times, you won't see it here. Well, except for maybe _special_ occasions.

Freckles-101: Yeah, that marshall's an evil one, but Kate has plans of her own;)

**Coming up next, on In the End:**

Sayid and Boone have a conversation about what should happen with the hatch, and I think Jack and Boone will too. Another survivor goes missing and one is found..but it's not the same person.

Thanks again!

Until Next time..

October Sky


	5. System Failure

In the End  
Chapter Five

**Chapter Five: **System Failure

Boone had yet to master the fine art of walking through the dark while carrying a torch, something Sayid seemed to be a pro at. He had already almost caught a tree on fire, and if it had not been for Sayid keeping a watchful eye on Boone(he seemed to be thinking that Boone was playing some kind of joke on him), he would now be a pile of ashes on the ground.

Are you sure we're going the right way? Boone said, just as impatient as Sayid.

They had been walking around the jungle for a few hours now, and both were growing tired and restless; but the last thing Boone wanted to do was to have a camp out in the woods with Sayid, so he forced himself to keep going.

You tell me, Sayid replied bitterly.

Look, I already told you the hatch isn't going to help-Why not? Sayid demanded, spinning around so fast a few ashes from the torch landed on Boone's forehead, burning his skin.

Boone sighed. He had been avoiding answering the question all night but knew he'd eventually have to.

Locke and I made a mutual decision to shut down the computer, Boone explained, we decided that it really wasn't doing us any good.Locke agreed to that? Sayid said, seeing right through his story.

All right, I decided that, Boone admitted, but Locke did agree in the end.

Sayid stared at him, like he was wondering why he'd do such a thing.

And you didn't think about the consequences? Sayid said, maintaining his anger.

Oh, so this is my fault now? Boone exclaimed, infuriated. How was I supposed to know this would happen!Did it never occur to you that ever since you two discovered the hatch and what it does that we hadn't heard anything from the monster in weeks? Sayid said, eyes darkening.

Boone cried, silencing the argument.

After standing their for a few moments in silence, Sayid finally sighed.

Have you tried to start it back up? He asked calmly.

Boone shook his head.

It's completely down, he said, sounding disappointed in himself, we tried a million times.All right, Sayid said, take me there.  
**  
4 months ago  
**  
_The only cemetery that would arrange a service without any advance notification was a cheap graveyard that sat three miles out of Sydney on the side of a busy road. It suited Sayid though, and it wasn't like his dead friend could come up and give his opinion._

Excuse me? Asked a voice behind him with a British accent.

Sayid turned from the grave. The woman speaking to him, although clearly British, was dark skinned, almost matching his own skin color. She had wavy black hair and was wearing a skirt and blouse outfit. From the way she was dressed Sayid could guess that she too had just been to a funeral. Sayid himself had been the only one to witness his friend's burial, but he had recalled seeing another funeral just finishing up nearby. Now that he thought about it, tear streaks were visible underneath the woman's eyes.

Do you know how to get back to the main highway? She asked, and had to clear her throat afterwards.

I'm sorry, said Sayid truthfully, I've only been in Sydney for a few days. said the woman quietly, I'll just ask at the desk.

Sayid furrowed his eyebrows. If she knew she could've just asked at the desk, why had she gone through the trouble of passing by him?

I'm sorry about..

She glanced towards the grave.

He was a friend, Sayid explained.

I'm sorry, she repeated, if you don't mind me asking, how did he- Sayid replied quickly.

His eyes began to moist and he blinked quickly in embarrassment. He wasn't the one to breakdown- he hadn't even shed a tear during the burial- but for some reason, his mind had chosen now as the time to let his emotions go. Glancing to the side, Sayid noticed the fresh plot where the second funeral that day had been.

How did- he nodded towards the other grave.

the Britain replied, my uncle, a few days ago.I'm sorry, Sayid said.

They stood a few moments in an awkward silence, both staring at the gravestone in front of them.

So your friend, the woman began quietly, were you two close?We used to be, Sayid said regretfully.

The woman nodded and then looked up at the road.

I should get going, the woman said, waving towards the parking lot, unless..do you want to go get something to eat?

Sayid couldn't help but to think of the irony of the situation. For years Sayid had been happily..or whether, dreadfully, single, where there had been no chance of seeing Nadia ever again. But he was so deep in depression in denial that Sayid never even considered another woman, or there had never been one to consider. And now he'd be seeing Nadia in fewer than forty-eight hours, and there was a woman in front of him practically begging for company, and Sayid hated to have to turn her down, especially at a time like this when she probably needed company most.

I have a flight to LA to catch tomorrow, Sayid said apologetically, I think I'm going to try and get some sleep.

The thought that he didn't have a place to stay didn't occur to him until much later.

Flight 815? The woman asked, catching him off guard.

Sayid stuttered.

That's my flight as well, the woman said, sounding excited, well, I hope you have a good flight. Maybe I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Sayid nodded and the woman walked off with a sympathetic half-smile, leaving him alone once again at the graveside.

**2004**

Sayid brought his hand back quickly in pain as a lose wire cut him. He was on the floor of the hatch with a huge screen hovered above him, a perfect death trap.

I can't believe you're actually trying to fix that thing, Boone sighed for the dozenth time.

Hand me the light, Sayid instructed, holding his hand out.

Boone sighed again as he handed Sayid the flashlight.

Do you realize how big that thing is? Boone said. My dad's car was smaller than that!

Sayid was slightly surprised at the comment; Boone never mentioned family unless it was about Shannon.

What did he drive? Sayid asked curiously.

Boone hesitated.

I..I don't remember, Boone said, leaning his head against the dirt wall, exhausted. Are you having any luck?

Sayid scooted out of his small space between the ground and screen. With Boone's help and five minutes, he had been able to lower the computer down to the ground where he could investigate the monitor which he thought had to be underneath it, but found nothing but a large tangle of colorful wires.

Why don't you go back to camp? Sayid suggested. I've got it covered here.You're expecting me to walk back there alone with that thing out there? Boone said, like Sayid had just asked him to eat worms.

Going back to his work, Sayid kicked their spare flashlight towards Boone. Boone sighed, having no choice but to go back, and began climbing up the ladder.

**At the beach**

Boone didn't make it back to the beach for two hours, twice his usual time. Nerves had gotten the better of him and the fact that the ground could rip apart beneath him at anytime was downright disturbing, and caused Boone to walk double speed, resulting in him tripping many times. 

Once finally on the beach, Boone glanced around. All of the fires were out and everyone was asleep except for a sole survivor: Shannon. Jack was no longer with her and Boone immediately felt angry towards Jack for leaving her by herself, however, the feeling left when Shannon heaved a sigh of loneliness.

he greeted, sitting down next to her.

When Shannon didn't respond, Boone turned to the fire(which was now dying out), and watched it until the fumes made his eyes water. He closed his eyes tightly and tried not to think about sleep. For the first time in days he was alone with Shannon and Boone was going to at least get a conversation out of her.

Where'd Jack go? He asked her.

The caves, Shannon replied dully.

But didn't he say-He _forgot something_, Shannon interrupted in a mimicking tone.

Even with the massive crowd on the beach, the camp seemed more silent than ever. The only sounds that could be heard were the breathing and quiet snores nearby, along with the sound of the crashing waves against the shore. Boone looked quickly at Shannon, the sounds and scene making him tired again.

So what's up? Boone said casually.

Go away, Shannon muttered.

Why don't you ever want to talk anymore? Boone asked, frustrated.

Where's Sayid? Shannon wanted to know.

Boone stopped himself just before telling the truth, with Locke. Locke's hurt, he sent me back here to get Jack.

Boone bit his lip at the horrible lie.

Well you're out of luck, Shannon said.

Boone turned back to the fire, despite the risk of becoming even more restless, fearing that all hope of any kind of relationship between them was dead. He thought quickly, knowing that he had to keep that from happening.

Shannon, we don't know what the next few days are going to be like, Boone said, turning back to her.

Shannon didn't appear to be listening at all.

Do you want me to stay here with you tonight? Boone asked, not meaning for it to come across the way it did.

He was secretly worried about Shannon staying by herself with that thing on the loose. Shannon looked at him, disgusted.

You're a pig, she spat, and turned away.

Boone watched her for a moment before standing up and meeting the challenge of finding his own camp elsewhere.

**At the caves**

Alex sat in her normal corner of the caves, unable to sleep. Across from her Jack was sleeping, or pretending to sleep. When he had first fallen asleep Jack looked peaceful, like sleep was that Christmas present you had been waiting all year for, but now he was breathing a little heavier, his face glued to the cave floor. Alex felt bad for him. She had heard about the breakup between him and Kate from a number of different people, but every story had one thing in common: it was harsh.

Jack then let out a sudden gasp that made Alex jump, and then groaned as he rolled over, now fully awake.

Bad dream? Alex asked lightly.

You could say that, Jack sighed.

He stared up at the ceiling for awhile until he decided that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, and reached over, grabbing a bottle of water. Jack took a few swallows of it before sitting the water back down, and then sighed.

Couldn't sleep? He asked.

Alex didn't reply. Every time she'd fall asleep she'd see one bad memory after another: her father's grave, Adam washed up on shore, Adam dead, and _him_. Alex shivered.

Me neither, Jack said, well, not good anyway.

Why did Jack have to wake up? She wondered. Before she was perfectly content knowing that there was no one around watching her, wondering how she was doing. Now who knew how long they'd be sitting there in these awkward silences.

Just out of curiosity, Jack said, did you know about the crashed before you landed here?Yeah, but not because of visions, Alex said, remembering those few months when the world- or at least America- was in complete horror, you guys were all over the news. Your faces were everywhere..everything. Rescue teams looked for weeks but- she shook her head, they didn't find a thing. Not one body, not one piece of wreckage.We were a thousand miles off course, Jack nodded, we gave up hope- some of us did.The beach camp? Alex finished for him. I figured that much. Not much of a man of faith, Jack?Not in the slightest, Jack sighed, and looked around, I wished we had some kind of idea of what's going on though, some kind of idea of how to stop it.

Alex knew that Jack was eating himself up inside of guilt, and felt guilty herself, being the psychic who, at the time, knew nothing of what was going on.

Ask Boone, she said suddenly, surprising herself.

Jack asked, looking at her.

I don't know, Alex shrugged, just as confused, the thought just came to me.

She and Jack met eyes, both wondering what that premonition could mean.

But I'm sure it's not important, Alex said quickly.

Jack nodded as well though it was obvious that he didn't believe so, and glanced outside where the first patches of sunrise were shining through the cave opening.

Jack said, standing up, as long we're both up, we might as well head back.

Alex got to her feet as well, and grabbed her bag to head out into what was now truthfully the unknown.

**At the beach  
**  
Shannon sat alone by her now dead fire. She was freezing and was regretting sending Boone off. He spent so much time with Locke that he probably could've built her a bonfire. Shannon shivered and wrapped her shawl around herself tighter. Looking around the camp, she hoped- prayed- that there was someone else up that would be willing to help her out and maybe even talk to her. Lately when she wasn't with Sayid, a pit would form in her stomach that wouldn't settle until he returned, which looked tonight like it wouldn't be anytime soon. Instead of finding someone else awake, Shannon spotted Vincent, Walt's dog, sitting in front of the jungle, staring her down.

she whispered, that desperate for company, come here boy!

Vincent let out a bark.

Come here boy! She repeated, this time a little louder.

Vincent let out another round of barks, this time more hurried.

Shannon hissed, glancing around.

Vincent barked again. Shannon stood up slowly and carefully so that she wouldn't startle the dog. Despite her efforts Vincent barked again, this time turning around with the bark and running back into the jungle.

**That morning**

She wouldn't just run off like that! Boone cried, defending his sibling.

I'm sure when Jack gets here-When Jack gets here what? Jack asked, interrupting Charlie as he stepped onto the beach.

Shannon's missing, Boone explained, she was here last night and- Jack said, stopping him, aren't you supposed to be out looking for Locke?Long story, Boone sighed.

I've got time, Jack sighed, remembering Alex's sudden premonition just hours before.

Has anyone seen my mom? Alex asked, stepping into the conversation.

Did you look where she was yesterday? Jack asked her.

Alex said.

Charlie said, cutting in, I haven't seen either of them all morning.'Either of them'? Alex repeated.

Shannon's missing too, Jack sighed.

Alex said, looking down.

Jack looked around the beach at all the different castaways waiting for him to tell them what to do.

We need to get some search parties going, Jack said to the crowd, and immediately whispers started.

Charlie said. But that thing-If you have a better idea I'd love to hear it, Jack interrupted.

Charlie didn't. Jack looked around at the eager and anxious crowd once more, and cleared the nerves out of his throat.

All right, Jack said, all eyes on him, here's what we'll do..

**In the jungle**

Shannon shivered in the cool morning air as she stepped over yet another tree branch. She had been following Vincent all night, the anticipation of seeing what he wanted her to see being just enough to keep her going. Suddenly she tripped over something on the ground and yelped as she fell on her hands and knees. She looked to see what she had fallen over as she panted for breath, and her stomach churned when she saw what it was. Below her, bloody and literally ripped up, was the dead body of Walt.

**At the Beach**

Kate called, pushing through the crowds that were ready to set out into the jungle.

The tension amongst the castaways could've been cut with a knife. With four of them missing and the monster on the loose, it wasn't exactly a place for laughs. As she hurried towards him Jack turned, surprised to hear her voice. Kate herself was just surprised at calling his name. Even though she knew the entire reason for her breakup was her fault, she couldn't help being angry at Jack for going off on her like that. Of course, did she expect him to be totally accepting and forgiving?

Jack asked, sounding slightly nervous.

Who do I go with? She asked, crossing her arms.

Jack said.

The search parties, she said with a bit of annoyance.

Jack said and then shrugged, with whoever.

Jack looked up past her at the few castaways who had absolutely refused to go.

Actually, it'd be great if you could stay and help out here, he said.

Kate's jaw dropped.

She said, outraged. I'm the only tracker you've got and you want me to stay here? How about you stay here! God knows you'll only end up walking in circles anyway!

Kate couldn't believe that she was standing here insulting Jack. She bit her lip, almost feeling sorry. Jack looked up to the scattered castaways watching them.

You know what? He said, turning red in the ears. Do whatever you want. I don't care.

Now Kate felt more guilty than ever. Just hearing him saying that he didn't care about what happened to her..it made her begin to feel sick. She glared at him, meeting his own still-betrayed eyes for a split second before finally gaining the energy to speak.

she said quietly, shaking as she turned around and left.

**In the jungle**

Danielle jumped over a log, landing firmly on her feet as she had done so many times before in her life. She had been able to sneak out of camp successfully, and figured with Alex gone that no one would notice she was missing anyway.

Birds chirped around her, the sun shined through the trees, and it felt like the every day morning of her life on the island. She had experienced many mornings like these during her sixteen year stay here. In fact, there was hardly any change at all. A sudden rustle of leaves caught her attention, and Danielle swung her rifle around, alert. Another rustle, and it became obvious that the intruder was going out of his or her way to make themselves noticeable.

You can come out, Danielle said steadily, I hear you.

The figure stepped out, and Danielle lowered her gun a few inches when she saw that it was only Locke.

They're looking for you, she informed him.

And what about you? Locke retorted.

Danielle lowered her gun all the way, no longer finding Locke a threat. 

They won't notice I'm gone, Danielle said, not sounding the least bit sorry for herself.

In her past sixteen years on the island, she had become a master of hiding in her emotions. The first few years were the hardest, as she had no one to turn to. Danielle would spend her days crying alone, mourning over her losses for years on out.

So why are you out here? Locke asked, biting into an orange.

No reason, Danielle replied quietly, hoping that he didn't hear her.

There's no justifying what he did to your daughter, Locke said quietly, but you can't go off doing anything you'll regret.I won't regret it, Danielle said gravely.

It was true. She had gone off in hopes of finding Kyle and getting revenge for her daughter. It was easy to see that even with being psychic Alex was uneasy and jumpy around everyone, even at times Jack, and Danielle knew she wouldn't feel safe again until _he_ was out of the picture.

Turning, Danielle made to continue down the path, but Locke's presense had drawn her concentration away, and she tripped over a log she hadn't seen there before. Locke caught her gracefully, and helped her up. Soon she found himself in his arms, looking up at his concerned countenance. The feeling she felt right now was different than anything she had felt in a long time. The feeling of knowing that someone cared for her. Feeling that she should take advantage of this, Danielle found herself blurting out the most unexpected of statements:

I killed my husband, she confessed, butchering the moment.

Locke let go of her carefully, and Danielle pushes the rifle further back on her shoulder.

Well, we were..engaged, Danielle corrected, and I killed him.

She looked down to the ground to avoid Locke's eyes, though they didn't seem accusing or judging at all.

You did what you had to do, Locke said, aware of Danielle's story.

I wouldn't regret it, Danielle repeated.

Locke nodded.

Then let me help, he offered, I'm a hunter, tracker. I could follow any trail you've got.I've lived on this island for sixteen years, Danielle began, feeling a little insulted, you don't think I know how to track?

With a swift motion Locke pulled out a spare hunting knife and handed to to Danielle.

Not people, he replied.

Danielle studied him, and all at once the feeling of untrustworthiness came back.

How did you know what happened? She asked with dark eyes. To Alex?

Locke seemed caught off guard, and on instinct Danielle grabbed at her gun.

If you want to know, Locke said, eyeing the finger on the trigger, I'll tell you.

So Locke told Danielle the story of finding the hatch and what was inside it, the computer and everything, leaving Danielle dumbfounded at the end. How was it that she had lived here for sixteen years and had never discovered any of that? In a way, Danielle even felt cheated by the island. She shook her head, feeling overwhelmed and confused by the story.

So we can't just go back to the hatch? Danielle asked.

The system's completely shut down, Locke said, we haven't been able to start it back up.

Danielle nodded as if she normally had these kinds of conversation, and looked down to the ground and began to study an ant that was trying to crawl over a rock.

Does Jack know? She asked Locke.

Locke admitted.

Danielle was quiet for another moment and then:

All right, Danielle said, I believe you. Locke replied happily, we should be on the same page then.

She just then remembered the knife Locke was holding, and Locke noticed that she was watching it. He offered it to her once more and this time Danielle took it.

Let's go, Locke said, looking up the path, we've got a long walk.

**Author's Note: **Wow, I never thought that chapter would end! Sorry about the not so exciting flashbacks, but I didn't want to do the other ones too soon. Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on In the End:**

At last the Jate comes back, slowly and steadily, due to the possible life threatening injury of another castaways, and Sawyer realizes that he's getting more than he's bargained for with a relationship with Rebecca.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	6. Jack's Terrible Day

In the End

Chapter Six

**Dedication: **This chapter is dedicated to Michael Piller who died November 1, 2005. Mr. Piller worked for the _Star Trek_ team and is one of the producers of the new show _Wildfire_, but I best knew him as one of the creators, producers, and writers for a favorite show of mine, _The Dead Zone_. Half of the plots, names, and even names of places in my series are based off of ideas from _The Dead Zone_, and without Mr. Piller's contributions to the show, some of these ideas may have never made it to the screen. My sympathy goes out to Mr. Piller's family, friends, and co-workers. He will always be remember by his fans. R.I.P.

**Chapter Six:** Jack's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Rebecca searched the beach over the crowd, in hopes of finding Sawyer. Across the beach, Jack was trying to get some extra search parties going, a task at which he seemed to be having no luck accomplishing. At last her eyes fell on Sawyer, snoozing in a spot close to the ocean, away from everywhere else. Rebecca smiled to herself. Sawyer seemed like the distancing type. Though she had only spoken to him twice, Rebecca had instantly felt a connection to him. Or maybe that was just a woman thing.

Hurrying across the sand, Rebecca wondered how Sawyer would take the news she had for him. Just as she reached him, Rebecca decided it'd be best to break it to him slowly. The last sand dune sank below her as she jumped over it, and Rebecca stopped, standing up Sawyer, who was snoring softly. Rebecca smiled once more. She let him sleep a moment longer before picking up a balled up shirt beside him, and giving Sawyer a soft kick in the ribs with her right hiking boot.

"What the hell?" Sawyer grumbled, waking up.

"Morning to you too," Rebecca greeted, amused, "here."

She through the shirt down at Sawyer, who looked at it like she had thrown him a batch of smiley faced pancakes.

"Put it on," Rebecca instructed and then smirked, "you might as well start sleeping with your shirt on, it's not like anyone's looking."

Sawyer smiled up at her as he fastened the last button.

"You were."

Rebecca's ears reddened as she looked away in embarrassment.

"Where're we going anyway?" Sawyer asked, grabbing for his bag.

"Tracking," Rebecca replied.

Sawyer snorted.

"Is there something you want to say?" Rebecca asked.

"It's not really my _thing_," Sawyer responded with a laugh.

Rebecca sighed.

"We're going to looking for Walt," she explained, "I thought you might want to help out, I guess I was wrong."

She turned away from him in disappointed.

"Fine," Sawyer said with a huff.

Slightly taken abback by his reply, Rebecca studied him in concern. She didn't know much about Sawyer, but his cold-hearted spirit stuck out amongst the other castaways, even more so than those who were certain that if they moved from the spot they were standing in, they'd be sucked into the ground. Sawyer seemed down right depressed, but not a normal depression. This depression that was something worked up over a long period of time, maybe even a lifetime.

"Are you okay?" Rebecca asked carefully.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Sawyer said.

She looked at him, dumbfounded.

"Your friend just died, Sawyer," she said, "and his son might be dead too."

"Gee, glad we have a positive outlook on things," Sawyer said sarcastically.

"What's wrong with you!" Rebecca cried out of frustration.

"All I know, Sweetheart," Sawyer shot back, "is that I never asked for a second date."

Rebecca shook her head and glanced back towards the gathering castaways near Jack. She couldn't help but to notice that Sawyer had gone out of his way to avoid facing the others, and even now he was looking down at the sand, as if trying to conjure up a spell that would make him sink into it.

"I'm sorry," she said, finding herself feeling sorry for Sawyer, whatever it was that he did or whatever happened, "do you want to go or what?"

Sawyer sighed heavily.

"Sure."

Rebecca gave Sawyer a sympathy pat on the shoulder, ignoring the glare she received in return, and let him lead them into the jungle, though she was sure he didn't have a clue as to where they were going.

**Across the Beach**

Jack's brain was spinning. He was doing everything he could to keep from lashing out at the crowd of people around him. So many people were talking to him at once that Jack had completely forgotten where he was until someone accidentally kicked sand in his eyes. Why they were kicking sand in the first place, Jack didn't want to know. Too his relief, someone said something over the crowd, who departed, grumbling. Jack turned, grateful but also concerned to see that Sayid had returned.

"You looked like you could use some help," Sayid explained.

"Thanks," Jack said, and glanced back towards the other castaways, who were now glaring at them, "there's no pleasing them, is there?"

Sayid smiled.

"What did you expect?"

Jack chuckled, enjoying the momentary break before being fast with the newest island tragedy once more.

"Why did you come back?" He asked curiously.

"Boone and I were separated during the night," Sayid half-lied, "is he here?"

"Over there," Jack nodded over towards Shannon's camp last night, where Boone sat hopelessly, gathering his things for the search. Sayid nodded a thanks, and walked over to him.

Jack watched as they talked, and the thought that Sayid didn't know Shannon was missing didn't even occur to him until Sayid suddenly slowly sat down in shock of something just been told to him. Sayid and Boone sat there for a moment, discussing something quietly, before they both stood up and made there way back over to him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sayid demanded.

"I.." Jack searched for a reason and then sighed, "forgot. It just slipped my mind for a second."

"'Slipped your mind'?" Sayid repeated. "She's missing! She could be hurt!"

Sayid stopped, trying to calm down.

"I'm going to look for her," Sayid announced, throwing his backpack over his shoulder.

"Wait," said Jack, stopping him, "what about Locke?"

"You can look for Locke," Sayid said.

"Danielle's missing too," Jack informed him, and Sayid sighed.

"I'm sure you can find someone else," Sayid said, and turned back towards the jungle.

"I'll go," offered Alex, stepping into their conversation.

"No," Jack said immediately, "we need people to stay here and keep control of the camp."

"Kate's doing that, remember?" Alex said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

She had obviously heard their argument earlier.

"And besides," Alex shrugged, "I'd probably be more help than anyone else here."

"Do you have any idea where she is now?" Jack asked quickly, as if he didn't want to spend more time on the conversation than necessary.

Alex bit her lip, hesitating before answering:

"No," she admitted.

"Then what makes you think you will later?" Jack said.

Alex glared at him.

"I'm sure you'll find some help," Sayid repeated, anxious to leave, and Boone looked just as worried for Shannon.

Jack glanced towards the other survivors huddled together in small groups on the beach.

"These people are afraid," Jack said quietly, "they're not going to go any further into the jungle if they have to, and truthfully, I don't even want to."

Sayid stared at him as if wondering where this was going.

"But we need as many people as we can get," Jack finished.

"Then let me help," Alex said, speaking up again.

Jack looked at her, but this time not in annoyance or impatience, considering the option, knowing that Alex would be one of the few who'd volunteer to search.

"Fine," Jack finally agreed, "we'll go look for your mom, Sayid, you look for Locke, and Boone, Shannon."

Everyone seemed content with this proposal except for Sayid, who looked furious.

"Why can't Boone look for Locke?" He asked.

Jack hesitated. This was harder than he had originally planned it to be.

"All right," Jack said, "Boone, you look for Locke."

"But she's my sister!" Boone replied, and then quickly corrected: "Stepsister."

"We'll go," Charlie spoke up behind him.

Jack jumped. He hadn't even noticed Charlie had been standing there the entire time.

"'We'?" Jack repeated, turning around.

"Yeah," Charlie said, sounding thoroughly enthused, "I can go with Claire. Maybe we'll recognize something from the kidnapping."

"Charlie, that was almost two months ago," Jack reminded.

Charlie pouted.

"So?"

Jack sighed.

"All right," he finally agreed, "go with Claire if she wants to."

"Great, thanks mate!" Charlie said, dashing off to find Claire.

Jack had to hold back a chuckle; he figured the poor guy was mostly just looking for something to do. He was brought back to reality at the impatient look on Sayid's face.

"Wherever Locke is," Jack said, turning to Sayid, "he can probably take care of himself, but Locke's a skilled hunter, and it's going to take skill to find him."

"So I don't have skill now?" Boone shot. "I'm a not capable enough to find someone as great and mighty as Locke?"

Jack wondered if Boone was listening to himself talk.

"No," he said quickly, "what I meant was.."

"Look," Boone said, angry, "sorry if I'm not as experienced or whatever as you two in this, but I missed out on getting the memo that said I'd be stranded on an island for four months."

Jack did his best to keep from lashing out. Why was it that everything he wanted to say always ended up coming out completely opposite and usually ended up insulting someone? Looking around, Jack saw that half the crowd was watching them argue while the other half was looking around as he was, waiting for answers and something to do. He knew they had to start moving fast.

"I didn't mean it like that," Jack said.

Suddenly, a new idea occurred to him.

"Actually, you looking for Locke would probably be a good idea," Jack said, "you two have been all around the island, right?"

Boone seemed accepting of the idea.

"Half of it," he answered.

"Good," Jack said, nodding and grateful of the new plan, that seemed to be working until..

"But what about Shannon?" Boone wanted to know.

Jack glared without meaning too.

"Fine!" Boone exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "It's not like she cares about me wanting to help her anyway."

With that Boone stormed off into the jungle, leaving Jack, Alex, and Sayid in silence. Even though he felt bad for Boone, Jack was grateful that at least part of the conflict was resolved. Meanwhile, Sayid looked as if he wasn't sure he should celebrate for getting his way, or feel guilty for just that. Finally, Alex broke the pause.

"So what about my mom?" She spoke up quietly.

"We'll go look for her," Jack said.

"I'll walk with you halfway," Sayid offered, "but truthfully, I don't think she went far."

Jack nodded though he wished he shared Sayid's confidence, and followed him out into the jungle, Alex right behind them. About a half a mile out they stopped at a fork in the path, and just as they were about to part, Alex turned around suddenly. Jack mirrored her, as did Sayid, though they didn't hear whatever she did. Jack leaned over to ask Alex what was wrong, but stopped when the answer stepped out on the trail, and Jack's heart leapt, skipping a beat.

Sawyer stood there, looking sullen and completely lost, though once he realized who he had stumbled upon he wiped the expression off his face.

"I was uh..looking for someone," Sawyer explained.

Tension filled the air and Jack knew that Alex and Sayid were watching him, waiting for Jack to say or do something. When Jack didn't, Sawyer motioned behind him.

"I'll just go."

At first Jack was going to let Sawyer walk away, until he realized that his last opportunity for revenge could be walking right on. Jack grabbed Sawyer's arm, spinning him around to face him.

"Do you have any idea what you did?" He asked rhetorically.

Sawyer didn't reply.

"My life sucks," Jack informed in an angry tone that wasn't his, "and just when I find one person that matters, that cares.." Jack trailed off, unable to finish, "you took that away from me."

When Sawyer didn't offer an apology, Jack pulled his fist back, and swung it forward, connecting perfectly with Sawyer's jaw, knocking him backwards. Sawyer's head collided with a tree behind him before he hit the ground, and the sound of his skull scraping the bark made Alex flinch behind Jack. The force of the blow surprised even Jack, and had completely caught Sawyer off guard, who was now on the ground trying to stand. He wasn't quick enough though, and Jack swung his foot around, forcing Sawyer back down and possibly cracking a rib in the process. Jack bent down and leaned forward until he was only inches from Sawyer's face.

"I"m glad life is all fun and games for you," Jack continued, "because for some of us it's hard."

The fact that there were other people watching slipped Jack's mind as he glared at Sawyer.

"I hope your happy," Jack finished, summarizing everything he had been reciting in his head the past day in one statement.

Sawyer glared at him, cold and hard, before bothering to defend himself

"Just so you know," Sawyer said hoarsely, "I never planned for this to happen. This was all her doin'."

"You still went along with it," Jack pointed out, holding his fist to the ground, trying to restrain from fighting, knowing that if he'd seriously hurt Sawyer, he'd be the one that would have to take care of it.

Sawyer's vengeful face soon turned to a cocky grin.

"Anything to make the girl happy," he said slyly.

That did it. Jack picked his fist up off the ground and slammed it into Sawyer's face. Blood spewed out of Sawyer's nose and onto Jack's fist, which Jack slowly brought back. Nursing his sore knuckles, Jack glared back down at Sawyer, disgusted. Though Sawyer was clutching his nose tightly, the blood still soaked through, but this didn't stop Sawyer from fighting back.

Lifting a foot Sawyer kicked back with more force that Jack had been expecting, and the impact sent Jack tumbling backwards. Sawyer leapt to his feet and grabbed Jack by the collar before he could try and swing at him again. He threw Jack to the ground and Jack felt his back smash against the jungle floor below before he had a chance to catch his breath.

In a quick moment Jack was able to glance over to see Alex standing in pure shock, looking almost frightened, and Sayid caught in yet another bind, looking like he was wondering if he should let them work out their problems on their own, or if he should step in before one of them killed the other. Just as Jack was recovering from the latest blow, Sawyer grabbed him again, lifting him up a few inches off the ground. Jack wondered where Sawyer learned this torture tactic, because torture was exactly what it felt like. Between his head being lifted above his chest against his free will and his shirt being tightened around his neck, Jack was sure his circulation was cutting off, and began choking for breath.

"You think you have it perfect, don't you?" Sawyer spat. "Because you're the leader and hero. Well some of us aren't as perfect as others. Some of us had to pay our own way through life. Do you have any idea how hard it is to live every day not knowing if you're gonna be there the next? And I ain't just talking about the island. It's a big, mean, world out there _hero_. Welcome to it."

Jack stared up at Sawyer, wondering how they had ever been on good terms.

"So why don't you tell us about how you paid your way through life?" Jack said testily, figuring it was high time he got his fair share of one-liners and insults.

But his plan backfired. Sawyer's fist came down fast at him, but just as Jack prepared himself for the hit. Sawyer was lifted off of him. Jack looked up to see who had saved him, and he was almost proud to see Alex standing over Sawyer's body, which was now laying on the ground not to far from him. Sawyer was breathing heavily, and as he himself caught his own breath, Jack looked over to see that Sawyer's head now supported a footprint on the side, which was now bleeding freely. Jack found himself surprised in Alex's strength, but then again she was the one who was able to kidnap and knock out both him and Kate single-handily in a matter of minutes. A hand appeared in front of Jack's face and Jack grabbed at it without considering whose it was. The hand turned out to belong to Sayid, who helped Jack to his feet. Jack's head spun but within seconds it cleared, leaving only a headache, which he was gladly willing to deal with knowing other choice.

"Thanks," Jack muttered, and looked down at the now unconscious Sawyer.

"Out cold," Alex informed.

Sawyer's face was already covered in blood, which was staining the ground beneath him. He didn't realize that Sayid was watching him in concern, as was Alex.

"I'm fine," he insisted, and Alex rolled her eyes, "help me get him back to camp."

Jack looked back at Sawyer and remembered all the things he had said to him without apology; everything he had done.

"No," Jack said with a shake of his head, "leave him."

Alex stared at him, incredulous.

"Jack, he's bleeding," Alex said as if Jack were blind.

"I know," Jack said, looking down at Sawyer to avoid her eyes.

"If you leave him out here-" Sayid began from behind him.

"I know what will happen!" Jack shouted.

A scream from nearby left the argument and Sawyer forgotten as the three ran towards it. Alex ended up leading them straight to the owner of the scream, which belonged to Shannon. Jack stopped at the sight of Shannon on the ground, hugging her knees as she shook, staring at something in front of her. Turning and preparing himself for the worse, Jack's eyes fell on a body, so injured and mangled that it took a full minute for Jack to recognize it as Walt's.

Suddenly Jack felt sick, and had to swallow hard to keep himself from throwing up. Despite the amount of blood Jack still dropped to his knees beside Walt and felt for a post. When they had found Shannon, Sayid had immediately gone to her, but now he stood up slowly, and walked over to Jack. Jack checked again and again for a pulse in both Walt's neck and wrist, but found none. Jack swallowed again and closed his eyes tightly. He felt Sayid's hand on his shoulder, and looked over to see Alex staring at the body. It was then that Jack remembered that Walt and Alex had been someone of friends and had a close bond, considering that they were the youngest on the island.

"Alex-" he began quietly, but failed at trying to talk to her.

Taking one last look at the body, Alex turned and tore down the nearest path. Jack looked back down at the body, wondering what kind of god would allow a life to be taken like this, especially such a young one. He then got to his feet, knowing that any continuation of the scene depended on him.

"I um.." Jack sniffed- he hadn't even realized his eyes were watering, "I better go stop Charlie and Claire."

Sayid looked at him sympathetically before turning back to Shannon. Jack watched as he knelt down beside Shannon and slipped an arm around her shoulders. Remembering his task, Jack turned back to the path, but when he did he realized that the last thing he wanted to do was go and find Charlie and Claire. What he really wanted to do was talk to Alex. Taking a deep breath Jack headed down the path she had taken, calling her name, hoping he'd be able to somehow fix all of this.

**At the Beach**

The path led back to the beach camp, but when Jack reached the sand, he looked around to see that no one was there. Jack panicked, but out of the corner of his eyes noticed something odd. A trail of dozens of footprints not far away leading to the jungle. Jack ran that way, which led him to the caves.

Inside the caves the castaways had gathered, many sitting in the same groups they had been on the beach. Jack looked around for Kate, who he just remembered was supposed to be in charge.

"Okay, just hold still-" Kate was saying from the side.

Jack spun around to see Kate sitting with a man, who was in obvious pain. The man's ankle was sitting on top of a stack of books, and Kate seemed to be frantic to help him. Furious, Jack stomped over to Kate, ignoring the many looks he was receiving from others and forgetting about the blood on his hands and sweat trickling down his face.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jack demanded, walking towards Kate.

Kate looked up, jumping a little at the tone of his voice.

"Nothing," Kate lied, "he just tripped, I've got it covered."

"Here-" Jack said, pushing Kate out of the way, "you're not even doing it right."

Kate glared at Jack as he took her place.

"Does this hurt?" Jack asked the man calmly, placing his fingers gently right above the man's ankle.

The man shook his head, though he still looked in pain. Just the thought of helping someone made Jack feel at home, and somehow seemed to calm him down. Slowly Jack let go of the ankle.

"It's just a sprain," he informed, "you'll be fine by tomorrow, just stay off of it as much as you can."

The man nodded and winced in pain as he tried to adjust his position on the ground.

"Can I talk to you?" Jack said, grabbing Kate's arm and dragging her out of the cave.

"What?" Kate said, jerking away from Jack once outside.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" Jack exclaimed. "You were supposed to watch over everyone, _at the beach_."

Kate rolled her eyes.

"They wanted to come back," she said, "calm down."

"Calm down?" Jack repeated. "No, I'm not coming down. You're taking this too far."

Kate looked taken aback.

"Excuse me?"

"You know," Jack said, glaring at her.

"Oh.." Kate said, realizing what Jack was thinking, "oh my God..you think I did this to get back at you?"

Jack looked away, embarrassed at how that sounded.

"What are you, twelve?" Kate snapped. "Grow up, Jack."

"Me grow up?" Jack said, incredulous. "Sorry, but isn't running around with another guy while with someone out a little highschoolish?"

Kate rolled her eyes again.

"People have affairs at all ages," she said, "get over yourself."

"Don't tell me to get over myself," Jack said, growing angry. "I'm not the bad guy here."

At this point Kate's eyes trailed down to Jack's blood hand where her stare lingered.

"What did you do?" Kate said slowly.

Jack didn't reply. Kate looked up again and the two met eyes.

"I don't believe you," she said quietly, shaking her head.

"Kate-" Jack tried to defend himself, but Kate wasn't willing to defend himself.

"Where is he?" Kate demanded.

"What?"

The question caught Jack off guard.

"What did you do with him?" Kate said louder.

When Jack didn't answer, Kate's hand flew towards his face but Jack caught it before it could connect with his skin. They met each others eyes once again.

"I love you," Jack said quietly, "I was always willing to give my life for you. What changed?"

For a moment it looked as though Kate was wanting to leave him hanging, but then she spoke up.

"Nothing changed," Kate began quietly, "it's just..easier..with Sawyer. There's no pressure. We're just alike. There doesn't have to be any secrets."

"There doesn't have to be any secrets with us either," Jack said, voice much lower now.

"Yes there does," Kate said, tearing up, "because without those secrets, this..this would never work."

Jack looked at Kate, heart aching. When had she lost her trust in him? When had this all changed? It seemed like only yesterday that they were the perfect couple, that everything was fine. Oh wait, that was just yesterday. Funny how life comes at you fast.

"I never doubted you," Jack said softly, "things take time, but if you're not willing to make the effort-" he shook his head, "maybe it's not worth it."

Biting her lip, Kate looked down, and Jack finally let go of her hand.

"I'm a wanted fugitive, Jack," Kate said, "that'll always be there. No matter if we want it to be or not."

"It doesn't matter," Jack said, shaking his head.

"Yes it does!" Kate cried. "If you had seen me on tv or read about me in the paper, you wouldn't of wanted anything to do with me! You don't know me, who I really am, and I don't want you to find out!"

"We all have secrets, Kate" Jack said, "we got passed that. Let us stay passed that."

"No!" Kate exclaimed, and then looked down. "Look, being with Sawyer made me realize a few things, that's all."

"A few things like what?" Jack wanted to know.

"Nothing," Kate replied quickly.

"Kate-"

"What about your secrets Jack?" Kate shot, taking the conversation off of her. "Your past?"

Jack looked at her, wondering where this was going.

"I stuck with you through it all," Kate said, "and I never got so much as a 'thank you'."

Jack snorted.

"I thought that spoke for itself."

Kate stood, mouth agape.

"Admit, Jack," Kate said, suddenly sounding angry again.

The whole turn of the conversation threw Jack off so much that he was even exactly sure what Kate was trying to say.

"You have your issues too!" Kate said. "Why didn't you come after me after Boone told everyone?"

"I was going-"

"You didn't!" Kate snapped. "You didn't because you cared too much about being doctor, playing hero-"

_Smack. _

The question of who was in more shock was a toss-up. Kate stared at Jack a moment in pure horror before thinking to lift a hand to her stinging cheek. Jack just blinked. Tears formed in Kate's eyes, not from the physical blow, but from what it meant, and a tear rolled down her face at the realization of it. Everything that had ever gone on between them was now officially over. It meant nothing, but yet even after he had slapped her, part of Kate still wanted her place in his heart. But deep down she knew the truth: it was really over, and there was no fixing it.

**Author's Note:** Okay, before I go take cover in my safe house, I want to apologize. I realized that with planning Jack and Kate had to stay apart for awhile but keep in mind that this is still a Jate fic- they WILL be back together! I swear! I promise! And they should be together soon too, in fact! And please don't be mad at Jack, he's just really stressed and really frustrated. The world's being really unfair to him right now. And that entire ending is in thanks to **Crazyhorsegirl88**. Blame her or thank her. I tend to do both. Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter and I hope you guys stick around! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

I think most of this chapter will revolve around Sawyer and Rebecca, along with another Jack and Alex chat. Mind you, don't forget that relationship is strictly friendship. Sawyer and Rebecca, on the other hand..:-p

(runs into safe house in the middle of nowhere)

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	7. Sympathy

In the End  
Chapter Seven

**  
Chapter Seven: **Sympathy

Sawyer wished he had the strength to talk so that he could tell whoever it was that was calling his name to stop. The voice was coming from far away, and as it grew closer it grew louder. His brain felt like it was about to explode within his skull, which felt oddly cold against the hard ground beneath him. As he began to come to, the pain in his chest increased, and he realized he was having trouble breathing. He swerved in and out of conscious for a few moments as someone slapped his face lightly, which didn't bother him him until the hits became harder, and that's what finally woke him up. Sawyer's eyes fluttered open to find a blurry face leaning above him. His eyes met the eyes above him and whoever it was let out a heavy sigh of relief. As the person fell back onto their knees, the outline of Rebecca's figure became clearer.

he attempted to say, but the word only came out in a mumble.

Rebecca smiled.

Sawyer looked around and was thankful to see that it wasn't night, which meant he would've been out all day. Of course, it could've been that he was out for more than one day, which wouldn't of been good.

What happened? She asked sympathetically with a concerned look on her face, gently pushing back some lose strands of hair from Sawyer's bloody face.

He winced as her fingers brushed against his head wound, but deep down Sawyer found himself comforted by her touch.

I..I don't remember, Sawyer lied.

Rebecca's hand brushed against Sawyer's muddy arm and he shivered. That's when he remembered his head feeling cold, which he never knew could be possible until now.

We should get you to Jack, Rebecca said, glancing at the blood that had stained the ground around him

Sawyer exclaimed hoarsely, a little too quickly.

Rebecca raised an eyebrow and Sawyer sighed.

Jack's the one that beat me up, all right? Sawyer admitted bitterly.

Rebecca said. Her eyes grew narrow. Did you provoke him? Sawyer cried, and then sighed again. Fine, I slept with the doc's girlfriend, all right?

Sawyer found himself regretting the confession. What if Rebecca hated him for it? If she was like most girls he'd been with, she'd slap him, calm him a pig, slap him again, and then storm off, cursing. However, Rebecca seemed blank.

Jack has a girlfriend? Rebecca said, clueless.

You don't get around much, do ya? Sawyer said.

Rebecca shook her head.

His girlfriend, Kate, Sawyer said.

Rebecca still looked clueless.

The fugitive? He tried.

Rebecca said. The brunet? Sawyer sighed, the brunet.

A moment of silence passed between them and it was during that moment that Sawyer realized that he was still laying on the ground. His back ached but the fear of moving ran through him at the thought of the wound on the back of his head. Sawyer grew sick thinking of blood oozing through his hair, running down his back..he coughed to get his mind off the nightmarish picture, reminding himself that that happening was very unlikely.

Well, we still need to get you cleaned up, Rebecca said, getting to her feet, I saw a stream about ten minutes away from here.You're expecting me to walk? Sawyer said, sounding disgusted.

What, you want me to bring you the water in a pail? Rebecca snorted. Come on.

Rebecca offered him a hand, which Sawyer brushed away. She rolled her eyes as he tried to stand on her own, and fell back. Who knew that being passed out for what could be hours could lead to sleeping feet? Rebecca reached down and took his arm, despite Sawyer's protest, and picked up his bag with the other, slinging it over her free shoulder. With her help they were able to slowly walk down the path, one step at a time, leaving the puddle of blood behind them.

**Two hours ago**

We're lost, Claire informed, dragging her feet and sulking a cross the jungle floor.

No we're not, Charlie protested. I know exactly where we are. Claire said, crossing her arms. 

Charlie turned the compass Sayid leant them desperately. After the third turn, the compass was wrenched from his hands.

Charlie cried.

Claire thrust the compass into the jungle.

Why the bloody hell did you do that? Charlie exclaimed.

Because it doesn't work! Claire ejaculated. We've been following that stupid compass and the stupid sun for two hours and we're still at the same bloody tree!

Despite Claire's outburst, Charlie smiled.

What's with you? Claire demanded.

You said Charlie said, amused.

Claire looked at him, mouth agape.

I'm Australian! She shouted. I say bloody! And even if I wasn't, what does it matter to you? Oh, just because it hurts Charlie's feelings means we can't say it. Well I'm sorry, because the world can't revolve around bloody Charlie Pace! Charlie said casually, it's an insult to Brits everywhere.

Claire let out an exasperated sigh, throwing her hands up.

Forget it! She exclaimed. This was a stupid idea.Not a bloody one? Charlie said with a smirk.

Glaring at him, Claire sat down, leaning her back against a tree trunk.

Well we can't just stop, Charlie said, Walt's still out there.We go any further and we're going to need a search party, Claire muttered sourly.

Charlie pouted, and sat down next to here, we'll just sit here.

He crossed his arms, mimicking Claire, and looked around.

Just sit here..sitting, Charlie said.

To add to the act, Charlie began whistling, which did it for Claire.

She said, jumping up. We'll go.

Charlie smiled.

That's my girl, he said happily underneath his breath.

Claire, however, still heard him. She slapped Charlie's shoulder, but Charlie just laughed, and followed her out into the unknown.

**At the Caves- current time**

It didn't take as long as they thought it would to be found, or to find something, which turned out to be the caves. Charlie was just considering proposing a new discovery of post-pregnancy hormones when Claire spotted the entrance to the caves, and ran into them as if she were running for cover. Charlie shook his head and chuckled, stepping into the caves. The fact that the others were at the beach didn't even occur to Charlie until he was already inside, but he was able to let his mistake slide when he saw that the other castaways had moved back in, and maybe more. He bumped into Kate, who turned out to have been walking in after him, moving quickly with her face down.

Hey Kate, he greeted, but Kate ignored him, 

He grabbed her arm to stop her, and Kate glared, face still towards the floor and hair blocking it.

What's wrong? Charlie asked, concerned at Kate's unusual behavior. Why's everyone here?Nothing's wrong, Kate said so quickly and so softly that Charlie could barely understand her.

Charlie frowned as Kate tried to get away from him again. He noticed that she seemed to be clutching her cheek, as in pain. So why wasn't she asking for help?

Charlie said again, grabbing the hand she was holding to her face and forcing it down.

When he did Charlie stepped back in surprise. The right side of Kate's face was a fading red color, with light cuts going across it, as if she had been hit. Charlie brought her hand down and Kate stared at him, looking almost afraid- something completely uncharacteristic with a girl like Kate.

What happened? He asked quietly.

I fell down, Kate replied, as if she had rehearsed the line all day.

Charlie studied Kate before deciding that that was a lie. For one, there was no trace of dirt or leaves anywhere on Kate. For another, Charlie had seen enough movies to know that the truth was in the eyes, and what Kate's eyes held wasn't the aftermath of falling down. What Kate's eyes held was pain, but not physical pain, pain in which only a few unlucky people Charlie had known in his life possessed. The pain in one's eyes that only a certain special person in that person's life could reach, could heal, and Charlie had the feeling that the reason he could see the pain now was because that person was gone.

My brother used to use that excuse when he got in fights at school, Charlie said, smiling in remembrance before frowning again, of course, it was a Catholic school so he was pretty much considered a criminal.

He stopped, realizing that that was probably a sensitive topic for Kate. As he glanced towards the mark on Kate's face, Charlie's eyes softened sympathetically.

What really happened? Charlie asked quietly.

Biting her lip, Kate glanced around the caves. Satisfied by something unknown to Charlie, Kate grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side, away from the other castaways. She looked down to the ground, obviously purposefully avoiding his eyes, and opened and closed her mouth twice before finally speaking.

Kate hesitated, Jack hit me.

Charlie stared at her, in shock, unable to accept what was just said to him. Surely, surely this wasn't true. Kate was wrong. Jack would never do something like that- he was incapable of it. Then again, one thing Charlie had learned on the island was to never underestimate the capabilities of your peers.

Was all he was able to say.

Kate turned to the exit of the caves, ashamed and embarrassed, once again two qualities Kate normally didn't display. Charlie felt bad for Kate, and unsure of what to do, reached up and carefully placed a comforting hand on Kate's shoulder. Kate flinched slightly, but accepted the gesture. He then notice that Kate was crying silently. You had to strain to hear the sobs, but if you could the sound of it was enough to make your heart crumble and break, because if Kate cried that really meant something. To Charlie, Kate didn't seem like the pour your soul out type of person. Feeling that he should be offering more sympathy to Kate, Charlie put an arm around Kate, pulling her into a hug. In the comfort of Charlie's arms, Kate sobbed harder into Charlie's shoulder.

How could I let things get so screwed up? Kate said quietly as she tried to cease her tears.

Looking over Kate's shoulder, Charlie noticed that sometime during their conversation Jack had entered the caves, and was talking with Sayid. Charlie's eyes grew dark.

I don't know, Charlie replied quietly, hold on.

Charlie let go of Kate, balling his hand into a fist as he crossed the caves.

**A few minutes earlier**

Jack walked back into the caves reluctantly. The only reason he had gone back was in hopes of finding Alex, but once Jack had the reassurance of knowing she was just across the caves, sitting against a wall alone, Jack realized that he didn't want to talk. Turning around, Jack hoped that he could sneak back out of the caves without anyone noticing. However, his usual good karma turned against him(then again, why wouldn't it?), and Jack ran straight into Sayid.

Sayid apologized.

It's fine, Jack muttered, and stepped aside to let Sayid walk by.

He should've known he wasn't going to get off that easily.

How's Alex? Sayid asked before Jack could get away.

Jack glanced over towards her, keeping his profile low.

I don't know, Jack admitted.

You haven't talked to her? Sayid said with a raised eyebrow.

Jack shook his head and diverted his eyes quickly as Alex looked his way. He had thought that he was doing a fair job of hiding himself, but he was proven wrong.

What's wrong? Sayid asked.

What do you mean? Jack asked innocently. Besides the fact that I've got about a dozen spared innocent lives on my shoulder?

Sayid studied Jack, as if looking for the truth in his appearance.

What's going on between you and Kate? Sayid asked.

Jack did his best to avoid Sayid's eyes, knowing that he was already making himself too obvious. The last thing he wanted was for people to know what he had done, but that looked exactly like where the conversation was headed.

After Jack's hand left Kate's face Jack had stood in shock for what seemed like hours. When he was finally able to bring himself to move, all Jack wanted to do was to throw himself off the nearest cliff. He would've even been happy with the monster coming up and swallowing him whole. As soon as Jack made sure Alex was going to be okay, he had planned to get away, maybe forever. These people didn't need him, Jack decided, not until he could keep his own mind. When he had hit Kate Jack felt like some kind of other person, some monster.

Once Jack had let the thoughts of suicide pass him he had been in denial, searching every patch of skin on his arms and legs he could for some sign of the sickness, and when he had found none, he had even considered finding a red pen and drawing dots on, convinced that they would become real if his mine was set to it. Because he couldn't of hit Kate. He loved Kate. Because after all she had done to him, part of Jack still wanted to be with her, and that had to mean something, right?

You know what's going on, Jack said with a hint of nerves in his voice.

Sayid's eyes narrowed, and Jack sighed.

Jack swallowed nervously, I hit Kate.

A pause followed.

Sayid whispered slowly, in total shock.

Jack couldn't say it again. He kept his eyes glued to the floor, not wanting to see the disappointment and hatred that Sayid was surely feeling towards him at the moment. After another moment of silence had past Jack couldn't take the tension anymore.

You aren't even going to ask why? Jack asked, both curious and upset.

Because he knew that he'd only say if he was asked, and at least Jack was able to admit that he knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself unless he made a full confession to _someone_.

I don't need to know, Sayid replied curtly.

Jack swore that he could detect a hint of disgust in Sayid voice, which made Jack feel even worse. He couldn't help but to wonder why Sayid didn't have anything more to say, or why he hadn't already taken the liberty of murdering Jack in cold blood. 

Hey, Jack! Charlie's voice called from the side.

Jack turned instantly, only to come face to face with Charlie's fist. The punch caught Jack off-guard, sending him flying backwards. He hit the ground when Sayid failed to catch him in time, but Jack had a feeling that there wasn't very much effort put into the rescue. Jack struggled to stand but his efforts were proven useless as Charlie's fist slammed into his chest, causing Jack to double over in pain.

What the bloody hell were you thinking? Charlie demanded.

Naturally, Jack couldn't responded, his body being in shock from the sudden attack. By now Charlie's raging voice had caught the attention of the entire caves, including Alex, who was looking with sympathy. He wondered if she had foreseen this.

I don't know how you were raised, Charlie went on furiously, but I was taught never to hit anyone, let alone a girl!

Gasps immediately followed the statement, followed by a deadly silence. Jack could feel everyone's eyes on him though he couldn't see him, not until he finally brought himself to look up at Charlie, still hunched over in pain, though mostly using the position as an excuse to hide himself from the others as well as he could. His right hand balled into a fist, though Jack couldn't bring himself to throw it. The situation had really concerned him in this time: there was no excuse, no justice.

Taking a daring glance around the caves, Jack met eyes with Alex, who looked almost as hurt and betrayed as Kate had earlier. His eyes then trailed over the rest of the crowd until they finally laid on Kate, who was standing to the side by herself, tear stains on her face. Kate met his eyes and they stood like that, frozen in time, until a single teardrop broke the silence, running down Kate's battered cheek and sliding down her neck. Even from a distance, Jack could still make out the teardrop until it dissolved into a light moist against her skin, and it wasn't until then that Jack realized how much he had hurt her, and not just psychically. Letting go of his fist, Jack felt tears threatening to unleash themselves behind his weary eyes, and without offering an apology or explanation to anyone, fled from the caves.

**4 months ago**

_ Jack browsed the narrow isle of the first gas station he had come across on his way into Sydney. Shopping in Australia was more difficult than Jack had expected it to be, for he didn't recognize a single food brand in the small store. At last he decided on something that looked relatively like Doritos, and picked up a case of some Australian brand of orange soda on the way to the counter. As he neared the counter Jack was forced to listen into an argument that was going on between a costumer and the cashier:_

Please Sir! A woman was pleading. I'm only two dollars short!They're not dollars, mam, an Australian accent corrected.

Well, whatever it's called!

The voice sounded familiar to Jack, though hers aware the odds of finding someone he knew, other than his father, this far away from home. Peering around the corner of a rack of dried goods, Jack caught a glimpse of of the woman. She was medium height, average weight, with dark blonde hair that was pulled into a pony tail. Resting on her shoulders was a baby girl, who also had blonde hair. The baby spotted Jack, and looked up at him with wide brown eyes. On the counter in front of who Jack assumed to be mother and daughter(and at least the mother was also American), was a package of baby dippers. Clearing his throat, Jack took out his wallet, feeling sorry for the woman.

I've got it, Jack said, pulling out some Australian money he had received in exchanged for American currency at the airport, 

The woman turned around, nearly dropping the child in shock at the sight of Jack, as Jack himself almost dropped his wallet in surprise of who the woman was.

She finally choked out.

Jack replied quietly, 

The cashier looked at the two in awe.

You two know each other? He asked with a thick accent.

Kind of, Sarah responded, we were married.

The fact that he was meeting up with his ex-wife in what had been literally years still sinking in, Jack's eyes trailed back to the little girl, who was still staring up at him with those big brown eyes- only this time, Jack recognized those eyes. They were his.

**In the jungle- present**

Sawyer winced as he splashed his face with the cold water, and shivered as he wiped his bloody face with his sleeve.

That's disgusting, Rebecca commented from the side.

Sawyer said with sarcasm, didn't know you had any of those flowery hand towels on hand. Rebecca snorted, and glanced up to the sky.

With Sawyer's newest injuries taken accounted for, it took nearly an half an hour to reach the stream, and another half to stop the bleeding. Two blood-soaked t-shirts later, Rebecca and Sawyer were ready to pack up and move out.

We need to get going if we're going to make it back to camp before it gets too late, Rebecca said, eyes on the blue-grey sky above them, especially speaking that we have no clue where we are.Well, I ain't goin' back to camp, Sawyer said, lightly touching the wound on the back of his head with a torn sleeve of an extra shirt of Rebecca's, checking the healing status.

What are you expecting to do? Rebecca said. Stay out here tonight?

Sawyer shot her a mischievous grin.

Sounds good to me.  
**  
That night**

Jack sat alone on the beach with a fire blowing in front of him and a cool breeze blowing around him. Even though all his stuff was still back at camp, Jack hadn't even so much as faced the jungle for hours. No sound had come from the monster since that afternoon, and Jack could only hope that that meant the attacks were over.

a voice said behind him, making Jack jump, I was beginning to think you had sprouted wings and flown away.Some psychic, Jack snorted as Alex's footsteps grew closer.

I never said I was perfect, Alex shrugged, here, I thought you might want this. It's cold.

Alex handed him first his bag that had been dropped when Charlie hit him, and then a water of bottle filled to the cap, which Jack took gratefully and pressed against his jaw, which still stung slightly from the blow.

What, no pitchforks? Jack said lightly.

Somehow no one thought to bring those on the plane, Alex joked, sitting down next to him.

They set in silence for a moment before Jack brought himself to say what he knew Alex was waiting for him to bring up.

I hit Kate, he said quietly, hating the way that sounded.

I know, Alex replied softly.

Another moment of silence passed by, and Jack wondered if she was only staying because she felt sympathetic.

You don't have to do this, Jack said, though truthfully he was grateful for company.

Do what? Alex said.

Take care of me, Jack explained, I'm fine.

Alex snorted.

If I had a nickel for every time I've heard you say I'm fine..Excuse me, said a new voice in the conversation.

Both Jack and Alex looked up, and Jack scooted back in shock to see Michael in front of them. He looked exactly like he had when Jack had last seen him, wearing the same orange shirt and blue jeans. Glancing over to Alex, he was both surprise and envious that she didn't seem disturbed at all by Michael's appearance.

Have you seen Walt? Michael asked.

Over there, Alex said with a sad smile, pointing behind them.

he replied, and set off in that direction.

Alex turned back to the fire.

I forgot islands don't come with stairways, she commented.

Jack looked at her.

'Stairway To Heaven', she explained pointly.

Aren't you- Jack stuttered, and glanced behind him.

No trace that Michael had ever been there was left, not even footprints.

He's _dead_, Jack finished.

Alex looked at him, face contorted in confusion.

You saw that? She said.

Jack didn't reply. Instead he turned back to the fire, and looked over it, out onto the horizon. Just recovering from the shock of seeing a dead man talking to him, Jack wasn't nearly prepared for what he saw next: his father, standing there like he had seem him do before, glaring at him with cold eyes. Jack fell back onto his elbows, gasping in shock. Alex looked down at Jack and then to where he was staring, but obviously didn't see what he had. Jack blinked, closing his eyes hard before opening them again, only to find the ghost, hallucination- whatever it was- gone.

Alex said carefully.

Didn't didn't hear her until seconds after she had actually spoken. In totally fear and shock, Jack scrambled to his feet and ran into the jungle, with no motive whatsoever that Alex could see.

**4 months ago**

_ Jack closed the door to the hotel room, feeling as though someone else were controlling his muscles for him as he did. Flipping on a lamp, Jack walked over to the bed and set on the edge, without even really knowing where he was. The only thought that was going through his head was that his father was gone. Dead. And it was all his fault. Jack hadn't cried since the morgue, but now that he was alone where no one could witness a breakdown, Jack felt the tears coming again, and swallowed hard, fighting to stop them. Searching the pocket of his jacket, Jack fumbled for his cellphone and a white piece of paper folded around it. Jack quickly dialed the number, eyes watering as he did. He held the phone to his ear and stood as he listened to it once.._

Pick up, Jack muttered to the phone.

As the phone rang twice Jack began pacing the room.

Jack begged to no one.

The phone rang a third time and Jack felt a cold tear drip down his face. An answering machine cut on.

Hello, you've reached the voice mail of Sarah Whitman, came the voice, I'm sorry I was unable to take your call, please leave a message after the beep.

A soft beep rang through the receiver, and Jack's hand became sweaty as he tried to keep hold of the phone. By now he was sobbing softly and uncontrollably.

Jack said quietly into the phone, Sarah, it's Jack.

He waited for an answer, but of course received none.

Sarah, if your there..please pick up, Jack rambled on through tears.

Closing his eyes, Jack tried to decrease the increasing flow of the tears, certain that any moment a maid would walk in.

Jack said softly, my father died.

It was the first of many times Jack would have to say the statement and confront the situation, and Jack could only hope that next time he'd be able to handle it better. He hated being like this.

Jack said again, in a desperate, pleading tone, 

Jack looked up, as if expecting to see Sarah there.

Jack, I'm here, Sarah said in a comforting voice when he didn't reply.

Jack said, now unsure of what to say.

Knowing that someone could respond to him had made it easier for Jack to talk before, but now that Sarah was actually there..Where are you? Sarah asked him.

Her voice was calm, like that of a 911 operator or counselor.

Jack realized that he wasn't even sure of where he was staying.

Looking around desperately, Jack searched the dresser drawers and dresser tops for any kind of stationary. Finally he found a writing pad beside the lamp he had turned on.

Aquand Hotel, Jack said, straining to read the hotel's name.

I'll be right there, Sarah promised, and Jack? Jack said, now relieved.

Please don't do anything stupid, Sarah said, stay right there.

Jack half-smiled painfully at Sarah's request. Sarah clicked off of the other line, leaving Jack alone once again in silence, and Jack didn't think of doing the same until moments after.

**In the jungle- present**

Sawyer and Rebecca sat across from each other, a fire in-between them. Rebecca had her arms crossed, a reoccurring habit Sawyer had noticed early on in their meetings, while Sawyer was too sore to move a muscle.

You're getting old, he told himself, and then rolled his eyes.

Rebecca asked, catching him.

Just thinking that this is the longest I've been with a girl without her throwing herself on me, Sawyer said with a smirk.

This time, Rebecca rolled her eyes. They sat a few more moments in silence before Rebecca sighed.

Look, we both know that nothing good's going to come out of me and you staying out here tonight, Rebecca said, obviously angry with herself because of this admittance.

Well, you know what they say, Sawyer said with twinkling eyes, there's only one way to find out.

Finally giving into Sawyer's charm, Rebecca crawled over towards his side of the camp, settling against his tree and letting him put his arms around her.

You're unbelievable, she muttered bitterly.

Sawyer only grinned.

All I need now's one of those bottles of rum we stole from that ship, Sawyer said dreamily.

Though Rebecca had no clue what Sawyer was talking about, she felt insulted.

You mean you'd enjoy being with a bottle of rum better than being with me? Rebecca pouted, staring up at him with puppy dog eyes.

I don't know, Sawyer replied keenly, meeting her eyes.

Before Rebecca could stop herself, she fell deeper into Sawyer's spell, and leaned forward, kissing him as he did the same. She let the kiss linger on more than most of her first kisses with guys did, and was slightly surprised when it was Sawyer who broke it. He stared at her with a look that sent shivers down her spine, and knew that her theory about their night together would be proven correct. Sawyer held the gaze as he pulled in for a second kiss, and Rebecca felt herself falling forward with it until Sawyer let out a cry of pain, and she accidentally bit his lower lip in surprise. Embarrassed, Rebecca sat up quickly, running a nervous hand through her hair.

I'm sorry! She exclaimed. I'm so sorry, here-

She began tearing off the sleeve of her shirt before considering that the wound wasn't that bad, though Sawyer grabbed it from her when she offered it to him. He held it to his lip and then spit it away in disgust, all while rubbing the back of his head with his free hand.

Hit my head against the damn tree, Sawyer explained angrily.

I'm so sorry, Rebecca repeated, backing away from him as though Sawyer were a bug, I've always been a bad kisser..I had this boyfriend once, in my junior year-Would you shut up for a minute? Sawyer snapped.

The tone of his voice immediately silenced Rebecca. Sawyer finally let go of his hand and raised a finger to his lip, bringing back a drop of blood. Rebecca winced.

It's no big deal, Sawyer said gruffly.

They sat in silence after that, both not wanting to be the one to make the next move. Sawyer decided that even though he could admit that he was actually considering a relationship with Rebecca, he should push her to it, and decided to her make the decisions. Rebecca's decision turned out to be sleep.

Unable to sleep himself, Sawyer watched as Rebecca slept peacefully on the ground. He then decided that maybe it'd be best if he stayed awake. Who knew who or what could break into their camp this late at night. Sawyer's eyes eventually grew heavy from the fire's fumes, and determined to stay awake, Sawyer reached over to his bag, and pulled out _October Sky_. He flipped open to the third chapter, but stopped when he noticed something about the novel he hadn't before.

On the inside cover of Rebecca's book was an inscription written in black sharpie, a name: Rachel Collier. Looking over to Rebecca's sleeping form on the ground, Sawyer realized for the first time that Rebecca was as capable of keeping dark secrets as the rest of them.

**Author's Note:** Okay, I promise Jack and Kate will get together soon. I swear! Thanks to the two of you who reviewed, you guys rock!  
**  
Coming up next, on In the End:**

In the morning Alex tries to start a search party for the missing Jack, which with recent happenings is more complicated than she anticipated, and our many eyed beast returns, but not to kill.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	8. Appointed Savior

In the End  
Chapter Eight

**  
Author's Notes:** A belated thank you to **Crazyhorsegirl88** for all your help with chapter seven!

**Chapter Eight: **Appointed Savior

Alex ran into the caves, zigzagging through the crowds lined up for food and water, and after searching for him for nearly an half an hour, ran straight into Sayid.

Sayid apologized quickly.

Sayid, thank god, Alex said, fighting to catch her breath, Jack's gone.

If Sayid was one of the ones out for Jack's blood she would've never known, for his face hardened in concern at the news.

Sayid finally asked quietly.

Alex's eyebrows knitted together in confusion before she realized what Sayid was thinking.

She said. Not like that..he ran off.

Sayid sighed in relief before returning to his normal calm in alert expression.

Ran off? Sayid repeated. Even Jack wouldn't do that at a time like this. said Alex, apparently we would.

Sayid glanced around to the many survivors trying to listen into their conversation. To be safe he pulled Alex over to the side to continue talking there.

Tell me what happened, he said.

I went after Jack after..you know, what happened, and we talked about it, Alex stopped to think, well, not really talked, it's more like he confessed to the crime and then- Alex shook her head, deciding that what came next wasn't significant to the story, I think he saw something..-maybe a hallucination?-, and ran out into the jungle.

Alex took a deep breath of fresh air as Sayid took in the information. He then glanced around once again, making up his mind on his plan of action.

Most likely he's just lost, Sayid said reassuringly, I'll go look for him.I'm going with you, Alex declared immediately.

Sayid shook his head.

It's not safe, he proposed, the monster-Hasn't shown up in hours, Alex pointed out, maybe it's finally back in hibernation.

Sayid looked like he was thinking quickly.

It's still not safe, he finally said, we still have missing people besides Jack. We don't need another.I'm psychic, I won't get lost, Alex said, rolling her eyes.

She was surprised when Sayid looked as if though he were actually considering her request.

You have that much faith in yourself? He inquired.

Alex nodded truthfully.

All right, Sayid agreed, you can go.Go where? Kate asked, emerging from the crowd who's eyes followed her every step of the way.

Alex and Sayid exchanged uncertain glances.

You can tell me, Kate said, glancing from Alex to Sayid.

Alex sighed and was the first to decide to confess.

Jack's missing, she told her, he ran off last night. No one's seen him since.

Kate's expression was unreadable, though Alex was sure that deep down Kate still had some concern from Jack.

Well good luck, she said tactly.

Alex stared after Kate in disdain as she walked away, and felt the need to say something.

Are you really that cold-hearted? Alex called after her. After all he's done for you..he could be dead!

If the other castaways weren't looking before, they were now. Kate stopped in her tracks, back to Alex and Sayid. She could feel Sayid's warning eyes watching her, but ignored them and the people around her. Slowly Kate turned around, and as she faced Alex she could make out the thin lines left over from where Jack had hit Kate, now nothing but light scars, though she knew from her own experiences that they would stick out like bruises to Kate every time she looked in the mirror. Kate stared at Alex a full moment, as if trying to get her point across with her eyes.

This was his choice, Kate said, voice shaking slightly.

Alex's mouth fail agape.

His choice? Alex repeated, furious. Last I checked, you're the one that left him.

Whispers arose amongst the castaways, as though they were earring this for the first time.

I explained what happened, Kate said, seeming to have trouble keeping her cool.

And you just expected him to be okay with it? Alex said in disbelief.

Kate said with a smirk.

Alex couldn't believe that Kate was standing here, practically insulting Jack in front of everyone when he could be out hanging off the edge of a cliff somewhere.

You'd know if he were in this position he'd be out looking for you in a heartbeat, Alex said sharply.

Kate looked like she was torn between what to do, and for a split second Alex actually found herself feeling sorry for Kate. She felt a hand fall on her shoulder.

We should go, Sayid said quietly from behind her.

You may want to blame Jack all you want, said Alex with cold eyes, but in the end, you're the bad guy.We should go, Sayid again in the same low tone.

Alex held Kate's gaze for a moment longer before whirling around and following Sayid out of the caves. She heard Kate sigh behind her and smiled to herself when she heard Kate's footsteps coming towards them.

Kate said from behind them, I'm going.

Alex smiled at her, but Kate just turned the other way, not speaking a word as she followed them out of the caves.

**In the Jungle**

Danielle and Locke, both being experienced trackers, had stayed out of the night, searching for any traces of human life and more importantly, the one they were looking for. The trees had grown thicker and thicker as they trudged through the jungle, and once they finally reached a clearing they decided to stay for the night. Now it was morning, and after only a few hours of sleep Danielle and Locke were packing up to head back out.

Throughout most of the night's journey, Danielle had remained to herself. She looked at this as her mission, and Locke was merely a tag-along. Danielle had thought that Alex being able to talk to her about things like what had happened to her, this meant there was an improvement in their relationship, for afterwards Alex had begun to shut her out even worse than before. When Danielle and Alex had first been reunited, she had told herself that bumps in their mother-daughter bonding like this wouldn't matter, and had sworn to herself that she wouldn't let them. She didn't like having to give into fate, but as time went on, Danielle found herself yearning for the affection of her daughter, and even fighting for it. As selfish as it may seem, Danielle was grateful for the opportunity of proving that she could be a good mother- if only it could've come another way.

Thank you, she said to Locke, pulling on her mangled sweater, for helping me, but really, I can do this myself.It's no problem, Locke replied, obviously reading her wrong, personally, I'd rather be out here than back there.

Danielle raised an eyebrow as she turned away, picking her bag up off the ground, though it was no secret that Locke preferred an independent life. She actually felt sorry for the man, and felt that she could relate to him. If only she could worn him to be careful what you wish for, the island might just give it to you.

They'll be looking for us, Danielle said, looking around their campsite.

Let them look, Locke said.

She realized then that she knew absolutely nothing about this man, other than he was supposed to be some kind of hunter, and Danielle felt cheated at the thought that Locke could've known almost everything there was to know about here from either Sayid or Alex.

So what did you do? Danielle asked.

Being around the other castaways so much, Danielle found herself curious as to everyone's background, and what was going on in the real world.

Before the crash, I mean, she added.

Locke smiled.

I worked at a box company, he said and then laughed an ironic laugh, like he was internally celebrating some defeat, so what did you do?

Though he seemed very proud of whatever it is he was hiding, Locke also seemed secretive about it: the quick subject change said that much.

I was a scientist, Danielle said, putting out the last of the fire, you know that much.

She looked ahead, keeping alert of any form of life that could be approaching, and when she heard none, started up the path.

What field? Locke asked curiously.

Danielle didn't reply.

Did you work for the CIA? Locke said jokingly, laughing at the comment.

Danielle, however, remained grave, and stopped, turning to Locke with an odd dark look on her face.

I was studying time, she confessed, that's why we were out here.

She saw Locke nod with approving interest as she turned back around.

Like time travel? Locke asked with curiosity.

Just time, Danielle replied conclusively.

Reaching up, Danielle pushed a tree branch out of the way just before it could slap against her face, and behind her, Locke did the same.

You don't like to talk about yourself, Danielle commented a few paces later.

It's not a very interesting subject, Locke responded.

There must be something, Danielle said, picking a berry off a bush as she passed it, and throwing it into her mouth.

She could tell by Locke's silence that there was something he was itching to tell, but something else was holding back. At last she heard him clear his breath, and Danielle found herself anxious to know what his secret was.

I couldn't walk before we crashed, Locke admitted.

Danielle tripped over the next step up the path in shock. Locke reached down and caught her before falling, and when she looked up as he pulled her up, she realized that this was the second time they had been caught in this position. They met each others eyes and allowed themselves to be captivated by the moment, but only for a split second, at which time they both looked away quickly and let go.

As a scientist I was hoping you'd have some answers, Locke explained.

Danielle said sincerely, I don't even have the answers to my own questions.

With that she continued back up the path, feeling Locke's implicated eyes following her every step of the way.  
**  
Elsewhere in the jungle  
**  
Alex remained silent as she followed Sayid out into the jungle, though she secretly kept noting to herself that it should be him following her. Kate had been silent throughout the journey as well, walking with her arms crossed and head to the ground. In front of her Sayid stopped to let her catch up, allowing Kate to walk ahead of them.

I wish I knew what was going on inside her head, Sayid whispered to Kate.

No you don't, Alex whispered back.

She gave credit to Sayid for wanting to help, but Alex also knew that it would be left up to Jack and Kate alone to fix their problems.

They're a complicated couple, Sayid commented.

Yeah, well at least Jack's not getting competition from Kate's step brother, Alex teased.

Boone's come to a decision about that, Sayid replied bitterly.

Has he? Alex said with a wink.

Sayid looked alarmed at the warning.

Don't worry, Alex laughed, she's all yours.

Sayid seemed disturbed by the comment, making Alex laugh again. She was glad that they finally had a subject to lighten the mood, and she was almost able to forget the dangers they were in. Her laughter was caught in a yawn, which reminded Alex that she hadn't slept all the previous night. As if some higher power was out to punish her for forgetting, Alex suddenly tripped over a tree limb that was intertwined with the jungle floor.

she muttered as Sayid caught her.

Her hand brushed across the ground as she got back to her feet, and Alex looked up as she regained her balance, and was knocked over by a third party. Alex looked up as she brushed herself off, and let out a small gasp at seeing Jack run passed them. Alex blinked, and when she opened her eyes Jack was nowhere to be seen.

Are you okay? Sayid asked, concerned at her long pause.

Alex lied quickly.

Taking a deep breath to recover from the vision, Alex continued on, this time traveling a few paces ahead of Sayid, confident in her directional skills. Suddenly as she turned paths, Alex's head exploded with pain. Grabbing her head in agony, Alex fell to her knees. It felt like her skull was split in two, and she felt herself swerve in and out of confidence, though all she was experiencing was a headache.

Then out of nowhere, Jack appeared in front of her, laying with his head to a tree, face covered in blood. He was barely breathing and clearly knocked out cold. She felt two hands grab her shoulders, and Alex was unwillingly pulled back. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, and when she opened them she found only Sayid and Kate with her, both looking at her in concern, though Kate looked slightly annoyed at the delay. Alex looked down the path she was headed towards, and then up at Sayid with fearful eyes.

We need to hurry, Alex said, still trembling from the vision, he's hurt.

Without hesitation Sayid and Kate followed her down the path, running at top speed. Alex could've sworn she heard Kate muttering something underneath his breath that sounded oddly like a prayer. The path soon opened up into a clearing, and the three stopped in their tracks when they saw Jack on the other side, leaning against a tree as if trying to catch his breath. Alex's eyebrows furrowed in confussion..had she not just seen him hurt? She felt a hand tap her shoulder softly, and Sayid bent in towards her.

I think we should leave them alone, he suggested quietly.

Alex nodded, feeling he was right, and followed Sayid back down the path, leaving Kate to talk with Jack.

**Kate**

Kate stepped forward cautiously, and then took a step back in pure fear and nerves. All she wanted to do was run, though she knew that in order to survive the next couple of days, she needed to talk things out with Jack. They couldn't make it with that monster on the lose and a hysterical doctor. It would be up to her to fix things, she couldn't leave it up to Alex or anyone else anymore. Kate took another step forward and then stopped, hesitating again.

I can hear you, Jack said quietly, clearing his throat.

She jumped, caught off guard.

Sorry, I.. Kate began.

Don't worry about it, Jack said, wiping his face with his sleeve.

They stood there like that for another few beats, Kate facing Jack, Jack leaning on the tree refusing to face her.

Are you okay? Kate finally asked. Alex had a vision..she said you were hurt.I'm fine, Jack replied, sounding drained and exhausted.

Looking closely, Kate could see that Jack's right hand was bruised, and she shivered at the thought that part of that was due to her.

Maybe you should come back to camp, Kate suggested calmly.

I'm fine, Jack repeated quickly, as though he hadn't even heard the question.

Kate stared at him, wondering what to do, what to say. Finally she was able to gather her thoughts clearly.

I think you should come back with me, Kate proposed.

Jack shook his head like a protesting child. Even though she was only looking at him from behind, it was clear that Jack was barely functional, and could probably use a few hours of sleep, along with something to eat. Kate took a deep breath, preparing for what she would have to say next.

she said, I think you should come back with me.

Whether Jack understood that or not, she didn't know.

I know you didn't mean to do what you did, Kate said, continuing to approach Jack, and I'm sorry for what I said.

Jack was quiet for a minute, and Kate hoped that he was considering what she was saying, until..

What about what you did?

Kate felt a sick feeling in her stomach and suddenly she thought she was going to throw up.

That's over now, Kate said, picking her words carefully, it didn't mean anything. I swear..please just..forgive me. I don't think there's anymore I could say.

Jack was silent following her request, and Kate looked at him hopefully, convincing herself that he looked like he was thinking. Surely if he was going to turn her down he'd have done it by now.

Jack finally began, but was cut off by a low rumbling that came from underneath the forest floor.  
**  
A few yards away, a few minutes earlier**

Sayid and Alex sat underneath an overgrown tree, whose leaves stretched from one tree to another, all across the jungle floor. Alex had to admit that it was beautiful, and if it wasn't for the monster living below, she wouldn't mind staying out here forever.

When did you start writing songs? Sayid asked from his spot against a tree nearby.

Alex played with some mulch from the ground, fingering it in her sweaty hands.

When I was maybe thirteen, Alex replied thoughtfully.

At the thought of her music Alex began humming without even realizing she was doing so until Sayid brought it up.

What's that? He asked.

A song I wrote, Alex said, trying to hide her embarrassment.

Sing it, Sayid requested.

Alex snorted.

Trust me, you don't want to hear me sing.Why not?Because I suck! Alex said with a laugh.

I don't care, Sayid proclaimed.

Alex wondered if Sayid was just feeling sorry for her, but as she searched for the truth in his eyes, she saw that he was serious.

Alex said nervously, smile a little.

She opened her mouth, but right when she was ready to let out the first note, a loud roar came from beneath them.

**Back with Jack and Kate**

Kate coughed as she picked herself off the ground. She was engulfed in a cloud of dirt that lingered from the latest attack, and couldn't see a thing.

She choked out.

There was no reply.

She called again as she struggled to get to her feet.

Once she was standing Kate could see that there was a large hole left in the ground from where the monster had snapped..stepped..or whatever it did. Kate felt herself growing worried, and began to feel sick again.

She shouted, but only received the echo of her voice in return.

Squinting, Kate could barely make out an outline of a body across from her, on the other side of the hole, and gasped when she could see clearly who it was: Jack.

**With Alex and Sayid**

Alex groaned in protest when she felt herself being shaken awake. After the rumble something hard had kicked at the ground underneath their feet, sending both herself and Sayid flying. She wasn't able to see where Sayid had landed, but Alex had been lucky' enough to land in a bush.

Come on Alex, you've got to wake up, came a voice from above her.

Lifting up a heavy eyelid, Alex saw that it was Kate standing above her. As Kate shifted her weight she unblocked the sun, and Alex winced as the bright rays came down on her.

Where's Sayid? Alex asked weakly.

I don't know, Kate said urgently, but Jack's hurt. Alex exclaimed, the energy to jump up coming to her from nowhere. 

Alex followed Kate as she dashed down the path, and then stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the creatre in the ground- one that definitely wasn't there before the attack.

What the hell is that? Alex asked, shaking a little as stared at the hole.

Kate didn't answer her, but began carefully inching around the hole, pulling Alex along with her. Finally they reached Jack's body, and Alex took an unconscious step back. Jack was laying on his back, sprawled on the ground. A wound on his forehead was bleeding viciously, and Jack's breathing was slow and rasp. Both Alex and Kate fell down beside Jack at the same time.

Kate said softly, tapping his face.

No response.

Kate said again, and tapped his face harder.

Alex grabbed her hand and Kate looked up at her, glaring at her with warning eyes.

Don't move his head, Alex advice, you could cause further damage?

Kate exhaled with a snort.

What are you, a health book?

Alex ignored that comment, and turned back to Jack. Carefully, Alex moved Jack's arm away from the patch of mud it was in, and began shaking it slightly.

Oh, that's better, Kate complimented sarcastically.

Alex shot her a look, trying to keep her patience while concentrating on reviving Jack. She shook his arm a little harder with right hand, while her left steadied Jack's shoulder. Kate was still calling his name, getting a little louder and sounding more panicked each time. Alex's arm soon became numb, and she felt it growing heavier at each shake. As if he had read her inner cries of help for the three of them, Sayid's footsteps became audible behind them, and then he too was by Jack's side. Unlike Alex, Sayid didn't even bother asking about the crater.

We should get him to the caves, Sayid said without greeting either of them.

But his head- Alex said, eyes trailing to the wound.

And when they landed on it, Alex felt like someone had thrusted a brick into her stomach. It was only then that she realized that Jack's head was still bleeding, and even Kate seemed to have overlooked that. She quickly moved her hand from Jack's arm to his head, and before long, her hands were covered with Jack's blood.

It'll get worse if we keep him here, Sayid explained, that thing could come back or worse. The caves aren't that far away.

Seeing his points Alex nodded. Kate and Sayid made some sort of unspoken decision to be the ones to move Jack, and Alex stood up with him, keeping her hand tight on the wound as they hurried to the caves.  
**  
4 months ago**  
_  
The weather was hotter than Alex had ever experienced before. Alex sat with Carrie and a barely conscious Adam on the vacant, bloody beach. Only a few pieces of debris from their boat had floated ashore but to their misfortune, no luggage. With no water or professional medical help, saving Adam had become a very difficult and nerve-racking experience. Carrie had sacrificed that jacket she had been wearing to substitute for a washcloth for Adam, though without water or peroxide, there wasn't much they could do with it. Now with the night approaching in fast hours and the half-handed Adam hardly breathing, their lives were being put in more danger than ever, when all they were doing was sitting on her beach._

To calm herself, Alex went into a waking-dream mode. She kept convincing herself that this was just another beach, like the ones she used to visit in her childhood in LA. There were restaurants and hospitals on the other side of the island, and as soon Adam's breathing grew steadier, they'd be able to hike right over to them.

But every few thoughts reality would sink in. She had just technically helped in a major robbery, their boat had crashed, they were stuck on some island, and part of Adam's hand was missing- or rather laying near them, buried in the same. Had they been granted with any kind of thread, Alex would've tried her hand in sewing it back on. She snorted to herself at the irony.

Suddenly a soft sobbing came from beside her, and Alex looked over to see that Cassie's eyes were swollen red with tears. She supported her own fair share of injuries, including what the two of them thought might be a sprained wrist. Alex herself had been lucky, her only major injury seemed to be the cut on her hand from when it hit the boat after escaping the cruise ship.

You okay? Alex asked, though knowing that was a stupid question.

Carried replied, nodding and wiping tears from her face.

Alex noticed that through her tears, Carrie began to smile.

I just realized.. Carrie said, struggling to speak clearly, I left my cat in the garage.

Alex left with Carrie, not that the situation was funny but ironic.

Adam left the bathroom light on in his apartment, Alex recalled, he complained about it the entire trip.

The two laughed again, like they had been friends for their whole life. At a late reaction to the sound of his name, Adam stirred awake from underneath Alex's arm. Alex's smile widened as she shifted her wait to make Adam more comfortable.

she greeted softly.

Adam mumbled something that sounded like a weak reply of We don't have any water, Alex informed, figuring it'd be best to let him know right off.

'is okay, Adam mumbled.

He began sitting up, despite her hold on him.

Where are- Adam fell back down at the inability to use his left hand.

Alex bit her lip when Adam let out a curse when he realized his injury.

How the hell did that happened? He demanded, looking down at his hand in disgust.

I don't know, Alex said apologetically.

Adam spent a moment taking in this new way of life, examining his hand now in interest. His face suddenly fell, as though realization of something had hit him quickly.

I'll never be able to play guitar again, Adam said dully and sadly.

It was like he had just found out he had lost his parent, and in an odd way, Adam's guitar had kind of been like his parents. Not that he had played much on their cd, but Alex knew he played, and well. Like with her, music had helped him through so much in life, and now that had been unwillingly ripped apart from him.

Well at least we'll always be able to hear your beautiful voice, Alex said with sarcastic sweetness, patting Adam's leg.

Carrie giggled and Adam smacked her in the the side with his good arm. Adam then tried a second time to lift himself, and succeeded.

I'm going to start a fire, Adam announced.

It's still sunny! Carrie whined.

And you're wearing a sweatshirt! Alex added esasperatly.

I don't care, Adam muttered bitterly.

He struggled to stand, and fell back down when a fourth voice interrupted them.

You kids need some help? A man asked, approaching them.

Alex jumped and shivered at the sound of the new voice. Turning, she saw a blonde man walking towards them, carrying nothing but a walking stick and bottle of water.

Alex called back, eyes watering at the water.

Though she knew they'd need it for Adam, her throat suddenly grew itchy and dry. Of course, this was all assuming the man would be willing to lend them the water, and the thought of where it came from never occurred to her.

I found a stream about a mile, the man informed.

Who are you? Carrie asked, speaking the question that no one else had thought to ask.

I was on the boat, the man said, as if it should've been obvious to him.

No you're not, Carrie said, almost sounding angry.

Yes I was, the man argued, and so were you two.

He pointed from Alex to Adam.

Alex said, piecing it together in her mind, the Moondance? the main nodded, a little too quickly for Alex.

She turned to Carrie.

I don't trust him, she whispered.

He could be our only hope! Carrie hissed.

Alex glanced back at the man, who was leaning against his stick and looking out to sea, as if he was expecting someone, and the she looked back to Carrie and shook her head.

Trust me, she said quietly.

Adam stole a glance to Alex, and she knew he was thinking of her abilities.

He might be able to help us find Kyle, Carrie whispered hoarsely, with pained eyes.

When Alex's eyes met them, she felt herself turning against her own instincts. Sighing and praying this wouldn't backfire on her, Alex turned back to the man.

All right! She called back to him. We'll go.

The man turned to them and smiled.

On one condition, Alex added, what happened to the ship?

The man's face hardened in memory.

We crashed, he said in a completely different tone, this one dark and sounding almost disturbed.

Alex still didn't trust him as the other two stood up and began heading his way.

You okay? Adam asked her in concern, looking down on Alex.

She tried to ignore his ripped hand that was dangling right in front of her face.

Alex lied in a whisper.

Adam offered her his good hand, and though she knew she probably shouldn't be adding to his weight, she took it and let him help her up.  
  
**At the caves- 2004**

Kate and Sayid hurried to lay Jack down near his medical supplies, ignoring the many questions from other castaways. Alex was already hurrying to retrieve peroxide and clean washcloths, and began cleaning off Jack's wound, listening to what her mind was telling her to do every step of the way.

**With Kate**

Kate watched helplessly as Alex began taking care of Jack. She wanted to step in, to be the hero, but she couldn't. Because that was Jack's job. As she watched, Sayid stood beside Alex, giving her tips which she seemed to be ignoring. Finally Sayid sighed in defeat, and walked over towards Kate. Taking the seat next to her, Sayid followed Kate's eyes to Jack.

She's like an expert, Kate commented quietly.

Wouldn't let me help, Sayid said, nodding in agreement.

From her spot Kate could see every visible inch of Jack, every speck of dirt, every trickle of blood, and the sight made her feel queasy, and not just because of the blood.

He looks so.. Kate searched for the word, He's finally sleeping, Sayid said lightly.

Kate looked down, knowing this was her fault.

Don't blame yourself, Sayid said quietly, looking at Kate, you couldn't of stopped it.

Kate's eyes watered, because she could think of a dozen reasons of how she could've.

He'll be fine, Sayid reassured, sounding completely sure of himself.

Wiping her eyes, Kate nodded, though she had never had that kind of faith. Sayid patted her knee, and stood up. Kate forced herself to watch him go, and laughed softly to herself as Alex and Sayid fought over who was going to be responsible for saving Jack. At least they had that choice- Kate couldn't even know for sure if Jack would want her to save him.

Hey, somebody, over here! Charlie called.

Kate turned around to Charlie, who was dragging in another castaway.

Who's this? Kate asked, standing over who turned out to be a younger man of maybe twenty.

I don't know, Charlie replied, but he stays at the beach. His leg- it's bad.

Ripping open the unconscious man's jeans Kate turned away at the site of the blood. Closing her eyes, Kate found herself using Jack's old counting trick, and when she opened them she found herself calm and in control.

Go see if Sayid can spare some peroxide, Kate said.

Charlie glanced over to Sayid, who was now in a tug-of-war fight over a blood covered washcloth with Alex.

What happened to Jack? Charlie asked curiously as he watched the scene.

Just go! Kate exclaimed, causing a few heads to turn on her.

Kate felt bad for yelling at Charlie, but as she looked down at her new task, Kate realized that this wasn't just another sprained ankle: this could be a life, a life that was her responsibility to save; and as much as Kate hated to admit it, she'd need all the help she could get, and she knew that in the next few hours- hell, maybe even days- were going to be the most stressful and tenacious of all of their lives.

**Author's Note: **Okay, so not that good of a chapter. And I know, not much Jate. But it will be back! Thanks for all of you for reviewing! You guys rock!  
**  
Coming up next, on In the End:**

Will Kate be able to save whoever that guy is? Will Alex be able to save Jack? Will Sayid let out save Jack? And where's Boone in all of this? Not to mention soon you'll be finding out all about who Rebecca/Rachel is..or who they are..

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	9. All Of Us Are Lost

In the End

Chapter Nine

**Disclaimer:** "Spooky" was written by Buie/Cobb/Shapiro/Middlebrooks

(http/ "See You Soon" was written by Coldplay, and the chapter title comes from the German promo.

Author's Note: I finished this at three something in the morning and was way too exhausted and this was way too long for me to spell check. I'll spell check sometime when I'm actually aware of what I'm writting. Please forgive.

**Chapter Nine: **All Of Us Are Lost

"You sure you want to be eatin' that?" Sawyer asked Rebecca, who was picking berries from a nearby bush.

"They're good," Rebecca informed, "want one?"

She handed out a ripe berry to Sawyer, who turned his nose up at it.

"IT's not going to kill you," Rebecca said, "and you could probably use something to eat. The vitamins-"

"Give it here," Sawyer said bitterly, grabbing the berries from Rebecca's hand before she could give him a lecture on vitamins and nutrition.

Rebecca smiled in defeat as she watched Sawyer eat, and took a sip of water from her bottle.

"So what do you want to do?" She asked him. Go back to camp?"

"And get my face pounded in?" Sawyer retorted. "No. I ain't goin' back until I can throw a punch again."

Rebecca rolled her eyes.

"Must be tough," she commented.

"What's that?"

"Being the bad guy," Rebecca crossed her arms, "looks like a lot of work."

"And I go to bed tired every night," Sawyer added on with a simper.

"Glad to hear your efforts don't go to waste," Rebecca said with a laugh.

A bird called from nearby, and Sawyer let himself take in the morning atmoshpere, which was like heaven compared to what he was used to in the winter. Even in Tenessee it was hardly ever above forty in Janurary, and the thought reminded Sawyer that today must've been New Year's day. Had he been back home, he'd probably be passed out with a hangover waiting for him in some girl's apartment, whose name he most likely wouldn't have known.

"So what do you want to do?" He heard Rebecca ask again, bringing him out of his riverri.

"Find the kid," Sawyer replied.

"Maybe we should just-" Rebecca started desperatly.

"Someone has to!" Sawyer said, louder than he meant to, startling Rebecca.

He met Rebecca's eyes for a split second and then quickly diverted them to the ground in embarrasment from his outburst. Sawyer thought that Rebecca would try to argue, or at least protest going out any further, but none came.

"Come on," Rebecca said quietly, "I think we were going this way."

She pointed to the path ahead of them, and didn't speak another word as she let Sawyer lead them back out into the jungle.

**At the Caves**

While Alex was finishing up dressing Jack's wound, Kate was soaking up the last of the blood left over from the blonde's. She hadn't wanted to go see Jack, or at least ask how he was doing, but Kate hadn't been able to bring herself to do either. Kate was blaming herself for Jack's troubles. Alex was right, no matter what Jack did or said to her, she was the bad guy. She hurt him first, and that was all that mattered. If it hadn't been for her stupid second thoughts-

"How's it going?" A caring voice asked from above her.

"With who?" Kate said lightly.

"I was going to ask him," Claire said, pointing down to Kate's patient, "but now that I think about it..how are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Kate lied.

Claire sat down oposet Kate, and took a washcloth from a pile some of the castaways had gathered.

"Whatever," Claire said, and looked up at Kate with twinkling eyes.

They both laughed, each knowing Claire could see right through that lie.

"How's Jack?" Claire asked, glancing towards Jack's unconsious form a few feet away.

"He should be coming around anytime now," Kate said sadly, ringing the blood out of the washcloth and into a bucket of water.

Claire nodded, pouring some water onto the washcloth and laying it down across the man's forehead.

"Any idea who this guy is?" Claire asked curiously.

"No clue," Kate replied.

"Well, let's see," Claire said mysteriously, and dug into the man's pocket.

Kate raised an eyebrow, surprised at seeing the noisy side of Claire.

"His name's Richard Blaire," Claire informed, reading from a driver's liscense picture, "he's thirty-eight and from Canada."

"Canada, really?" Kate asked, sounding suddenly interested. "Let me see that."

She grabbed the photo from Claire, as if convinced that she was lying.

"Why so excited about Canada?" Claire asked curiously.

"I lived there for awhile," Kate explained, "not where he did though."

She handed back the photo.

"So how are things going with you and Jack?" Claire asked after a short pause.

"Okay," Kate said without bothering to think of excuses or lies.

Nothing ever went wrong with a simple 'okay'. Kate heaved a sigh and looked at her hands.

"Something wrong?" Claire asked her.

Kate knew this would be one of the only chances she'd get to talk this out with someone who she knew would listen.

"It's just complicated," Kate said finally, "I hate admitting that I was wrong."

"Don't we all?" Claire laughed.

Kate forced out a small laugh, tired of the stuffy, stressful, and uneasy atmosphere that had taken over the caves in the past few hours.

"So what's up with you and Charlie?" Kate asked with equal curiosity, "are you two an item now?"

Claire smiled in memory.

"My grandmother used to say that."

Kate gave her a small smile in return, and then nudged Claire a little.

"So..?" Kate said in a 'girls at a sleepover' voice.

Claire's silence had Kate thinking, and she was hoping she was thinking wrong.

"Wait, you two haven't.." Kate glanced towards Alex, but Claire got the picture.

"Oh!" Claire exclaimed. "No! It's just..what was it like the first time you and Jack kissed?"

The question caught Kate off-guard, and she realized that no one had even asked her about the moment.

"It was.." Kate searched for the right metephor, "like the best thing ever."

She giggled to herself, and was surprised when Claire joined her.

"Poor Jack..he seemed so helpless," Kate added, glancing again towards Jack.

"Oh, so you kissed him out of pity," Claire said.

"No!" Kate said quickly. "It was just cute, that's all."

Claire let out a snort, which attracted Alex's attention. Alex rolled her eyes and turned back to Jack. As Kate watched, she noticed Alex's hand was closing in on Jack's, their fingers interwining as she gave it a squeeze, and Kate felt a pang of jealusy tug at her stomach. She told herself it was crazy, that Alex was only a kid and no way did she like Jack in that kind of way, but still..just the fact that Alex was there and not her..she felt like a bad..friend. That's what she was. A bad friend.

"Like the best thing ever," Kate repeated to herself, "if I could go back to that moment, I wouldn't change a thing."

She watched as Alex said something to Jack, and wondered if she was talking to herself out of boredom, or trying to revive Jack once again. Whichever the one, Jack just continued to sleep soundlessly, breathing up and down slowly, still looking at peace with himself.

"Just relive it?" Claire suggested, looking at Kate in admiration, like a sister would.

Kate smiled and nodded, and let her gaze hold on Jack a moment longer before speaking up.

"So how about you and Charlie?" Kate asked again, turning back towards Claire.

Claire smiled to herself.

"He kissed me," she said in a dreamy voice, "actually, it's more like he attacked me..with his lips."

Claire's face contorted in disgust.

"That sounds disgusting, doesn't it?"

Kate laughed.

"We were just waking back to the beach," Claire said with a far away look, "the setting was so right..like someone had planned for it to happen. We were just walking and suddenly Charlie grabbed me and..kissed me. It was kind of romantic and it's own weird way."

"I guess that's Charlie for ya," Kate said, grinning.

"Yeah," Claire nodded, "next he'll be wanting to play Driveshaft at our wedding."

"Ohh..a wedding!" Kate teased.

"A girl can dream."

Claire's cheeks grew red in embarrasment.

"Hey," said Alex, turnng around, "have you guys seen-"

Her eyes landed on the man Kate was tending to, and Alex stopped. The pupils of her eyes grew big and around, and Alex's breathing started growing heavier and heavier. Before Kate could ask what was wrong, Alex leaped, throwing herself on top of the man, and began choking him. Immediatly whoever the guy was was forced back to consious, and gasp for breath as Alex's fingertips grew tighter and tighter around his sweaty neck.

Claire screamed for help as Kate tried to pry Alex off, but Alex's grip was too tight. Kate felt herself being pushed aside, and could only watch as Sayid threw Alex back. The man gulped once more for air, and then his eyes rolled back into his sockets, sending him once more into a deep sleep. After seeing this, Sayid turned on Alex, but she was already halfway out of the caves with tears swelling furioulsy in her eyes.

As Alex ran out another figure stepped into the caves, looking after her. It was Shannon. Ignoring the current emergancy, Shannon turned to Sayid.

"Has anyone seen Boone?"

Though facing Sayid, the question seemed directed to any and all. Sayid turned and met eyes with both Claire and Kate, who shook there heads.

"Stay here," Sayid instructed to Kate, who nodded obidiently.

Standing up, Sayid made his way over to Shannon, and Claire and Kate watched as he had a conversation of whispers with Shannon, and then headed out.

**In the Jungle**

Alex tore through the jungle, not really concentrating on where she was going. All she wanted to do was get away.

**4 months ago**

_Alex, Carrie, and Adam followed the blonde man through the jungle. Alex walked closely beside Adam, both of their hands over his wounds._

_"Maybe we should rest," the blonde man suggested, and nodded towards Adam._

_"I'm fine," Adam protested._

_"He's right," Alex urged._

_"No!" Adam hissed into Alex's ear. "I don't trust him!"_

_"Neither do I, but-"_

_"You should listen to your girlfriend," the blonde said._

_Alex and Adam turned their heads at the sound of the safety of a gun clicking off. Subconsiously Alex raised both her hands, as did Carrie, though in pain Adam wasn't able to follow._

_"Get on your knees," the man instructed to Adam._

_Adam just glared, and to a protective step in front of Alex._

_"I said get down!" He yelled, and swung the gun around, hitting Adam and knocking him down with ease. _

_Already crippled, Adam fell to a helpless lump on the ground. Alex screamed at the sudden attack, and foudn the gun now pointed on her. She quickly stole a glance to Carrie, who looked horrified._

_"I've got 'em!" The man called to someone they couldn't see._

_Someone turned out to be smoeones: two other men who looked just as rough and tough as the one holding the captive._

_"Tigh him up," the blonde instructed._

_A man wearing a blue overshirt, torn at the shoulder, nodded, and Alex's breath and pulse doubled. Blue shirt moved quickly and began bounding Adam's wrist._

_"The girl too," the blonde told the second man._

_Alex's heart leapt as the second man took a step towards her._

_"No," the blonde said gruffly, "not her, the other one-" he locked eyes with Alex, who stood frozen by Adam's body, "I don't trust her."_

_"Isn't that why we should be tying her up?" The second man asked._

_He had a French accent._

_"No," the blonde, who seemed to be in charge of the hold-up._

_Carrie whimpered and watched helplessly as her hands were bound._

_"Knock her out," the blonde ordered._

_Carrie was easily taken out with a fist to the head, and fell to the ground beside Adam. _

_"Get the noose ready," he instructed next, and the two other men exchanged unsure glances._

_Alex's heard pounded against her chest. She wanted to do something, say something, fight back, but she was frozen in fear._

_"Shouldn't we blindfold her?" Blue shirt asked, nodding to Alex._

_"'Shouldn't we blindfold her?'" The blonde mocked, amused, waving the gun madly. "Fine, blindfold her. Just don't expect me to give you any favors later."_

_After hearing this Blue Shirt seemed relucant to his request, but decided to follow his original plan. Taking a black bandana out of his bag, Blue Shirt stepped forward towards Alex. She was surprised when he whispered an apology into her ear._

_"Sorry," he said so that only she would hear._

_The world went black after that, though Alex was still aware of her surroundings. She knew she was still standing and she knew that the two extra weights on the forest floor were now being lifted. Apart from that Alex couldn't see or know of anything else. The next few minutes were quiet, and only the shuffle of feet could be heard from nearby. Silence then followed, and the only sound alex could hear was the sound of her own heavy, rasp, breath. Then suddenly, a soft crack filled the air, and then so did a second. Alex let out an earpiercing cry, because suddenly, somehow she knew where those cracks came from. She was surprised to find that nothing was restraining her as she tore off her blindfold, and obviously so did the blonde._

_"What the hell were you thinking!" The blonde yelled to Blue Shirt and the Frenchman._

_Alex didn't hear the rest of his complaints as she looked around in a panic for Adam. When she found nothing but blood on the ground, Alex looked at the last place she wanted to, and cried out when she saw what was there._

_At the quick and professional work of the men, the bodies of Adam and Carrie were already hanging from a try above her, dangling like an unfinished spiderweb. Tears flew out of Alex's eyes in pools of sorrow, and shaking, Alex brought a fist to her mouth and held it there to sease her cries. _

_Meanwhile, the blonde man was still yelling at the other two, but turned on Alex immediatly when he saw she was aware of what was going on. The blonde let out a curse and something hard slammed against Alex's head before she saw it coming. Her senses seemed to have completly died. The next thing Alex knew she was being woken up by a completly different blonde man, this one who looked relativly familiar and much younger. After that Alex's life changed in more ways than she could've ever imagined or foreseen._

**In the Jungle**

"Can I ask you somethin'?" Sawyer asked five minutes into their walk.

"Sure," Rebecca shrugged from behind him.

"Who's Rachel Collier?"

Sawyer swore he heard Rebecca's footsteps stop for a split second, but if they really did, Sawyer would never know.

"I've never heard that name before in my life," Rebecca replied cooly, continuing to walk behind him.

"Really," Sawyer said, "then why was it on your book?"

He stopped and turned, showing Rebecca where the name was on the cover. His hand had been on the book throughout their walk as he waited for the right moment to ask. Rebecca didn't reply, but only stared at the page, as if it were something that had come back to haunt her.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Sawyer commented with a catty grin.

Rebecca looked unable to speak.

"I've always wondered why you were so quick to give up that book," Sawyer went on, "if it was just me, or if you were willing to pass it on to any old stranger who walked by."

Sawyer shut the book abruptly, making Rebecca jumped though the paperback didn't make a sound.

"Who's Rachel Collier?" He asked again.

Rebecca took a deep breath and begun to tell her story.

"Rachel Collier is.." Rebecca hesitated, and for a moment Sawyer thought she was going to back out of the confession, but then he realized she was just changing her wording, "I'm Rachel Collier."

Sawyer looked at her, unsure of rather or not to believe.

"Then who's Rebecca?" He asked, this time his voice wasn't as forceful as before.

Rebecca..or Rachel..looked down.

"Rebecca's my sister," she explained quietly, "we're identical twins. No one can tell us apart, not even our parents."

"Where's Rebecca now?" Sawyer said, unsure if he wanted to know.

"She died," Rebecca said, eyes glued to her shoes.

Rebecca was talking so low Sawyer had to struggle to hear.

"In the crash?" He asked inquisitivly.

"No," Rebecca said in the same soft, haunting, tone, "she was murdered in Sydney."

She looked back up at Sawyer, who was regretting to have ever brought up the topic. It was obviously a fragile subject for Rebecca, and of course there had to be a reason for her to go through the trouble of changing names.

"I'm sorry," was all Sawyer could say.

"Don't be," Rebecca said.

A moment of much needed silence passed before Sawyer felt it was a good time to ask the question he was itching to know the answer to.

"Why go through the trouble of changing names?" He wanted to know.

"My parents loved Rebecca," she began, "she was the perfect child. Perfect grades, perfect friends, perfect job..all my life I had to live up to her competition-" as she spoke, Rebecca seemed to be growing angrier and angrier with herself, "but no matter what I did it wasn't enough for my parents."

"So she died," Sawyer repeated, trying to piece the story together, "and you just switch identities?"

"I paid a man in Sydney to do it," Rebecca said, "ten thousand."

Sawyer let out a low whistle.

"My parents never would've noticed," Rebecca went on, voice shaking, "and they would've somehow made it my fault."

Sawyer wished Rebecca could lower the gaze. He had heard worse stories, but he knew to Rebecca- Rachel- it meant a lot.

"That's quite a story," Sawyer commented.

Rebecca finally looked down, ashamed.

"It's no big deal," she whispered.

Sawyer suddenly felt guilty for forcing Rebecca to confess, and felt that he had to make up for it somehow, so he decided to tell his own story. It wasn't as if he wanted to outdo her story, but he wanted to let Rebecca know that she wasn't alone in the world of bad lives.

"When I was eight my mom had an affair with a con-man," Sawyer began, "my dad found out about it, but that was after the guy had already skipped town with all our savings. My dad killed my mom, and then himself."

Rebecca's eyes softened with sympathy.

"I'm sorry," she offered sincerly.

"Don't be," Sawyer muttered bitterly, furious with himself for so easily being able to tell his story.

He hadn't it when another person could change him like that. At last Rebecca looked down, and bit her lip. Sawyer looked down as well, patiently waiting for Rebecca to say something else. Instead of saying something, however, she threw her arms around Sawyer, pulling him into a tight hug. Unsure of what to do, Sawyer returned the hug, and gently patted Rebecca on the back. When Rebecca finally pulled back, she was crying softly, and had to wipe tears from her eyes before speaking.

"You can still call me Rebecca," she said with a smile

"I like Rachel better," Sawyer replied, offering her a half-grin.

"I like Rebecca," Rebecca said, finalizing the argument.

They met eyes for a split second, and in that moment Sawyer considered another kiss. But just as he was about to lean in for one, Rebecca quicklly looked down, as if she was reading his mind and disagreed.

"We better get going," she said quietly.

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded.

They walked the next mile in silence until they found themselves standing in front of a tall cliff.

"That was quick," Sawyer muttered.

The two weren't even that far out.

"Well come on," Rebecca said, stepping onto the first rock, "I'll climb first."

"Are you serious?" Sawyer exclaimed. "That thing could fall and bury us in!"

"You're such a pessimist," Rebecca said, rolling her eyes.

Just as she said it, a good handful of dust fell to the ground beneath her, as if someone were throwing them a warning.

"Come on," Rebecca said again as she began to climb, "you want to find Walt, don't you?"

She looked down from him from a few feet up.

"I'd like to know where the kid learned how to climb cliffs," Sawyer shot.

"Baby," Rebecca teased.

Sawyer scrowled, and grabbed onto the hardened dirt above him. Ten minutes later they were at the top the mountain, which was more like a hill and not that steep at all. After catching their breath, Rebecca and Sawyer looked up to the newfoundland, and gasped at what they saw.

_If this is a mountain,_ Sawyer thought,_ it had a funny way of describing itself. _

Not a single tree was on the plain. Dozens of mini streams took their place, zigzagging through the inch-high grass which was a greenish- blue color. Not a single inhabitant(animal or human) was excistant.

"I know this is bad timing," Rebecca whispered to Sawyer, as if afraid someone would overhear, "but I have to go to the bathroom."

Sawyer looked at her, incredilous.

"What, you expecting me to pull one of those Port-A-Jon things out of my magical purse?" He said sarcastically.

"Could you?" She pleaded.

Sawyer rolled his eyes.

"I'll be back in five minutes," Rebecca promised, and lowered herself to the edge of the cliff.

"You're climbing back down that thing?" Sawyer exclaimed.

"Were you expecting me to fly off?" Rebecca said with a raised eyebrow. "Maybe your magical purse could spare me a pair of wings."

"Cute," Sawyer said with a huff, "can't you just..find somewhere up here."

Sawyer couldn't think of a more embarrasing situation.

"Sawyer!" Rebecca cried, glancing behind him at the treeless plane.

"_What!_"

Rebecca rolled her eyes again, and started down the mountain.

"I'll be back in five minutes," she said again, "promise."

Sawyer sighed, and threw himself down near the edge of the cliff, secretly thankful for the opportunity to rest.

_"I'll be back in five minutes," _Rebecca had promised.

She was just going to be somewhere near by, Sawyer reminded himself, maybe a few seconds away. Nothing could happen that close. She'd be back in five minutes, she had promised him that, and it's not like this was some cooked up plan to leave him. Rebecca didn't seem like that kind of person.

But five minutes passed and Sawyer now found himself pacing the ground, glancing over the cliff every now and then though quickly turning back, afraid to see Rebecca's scrowling face glaring back up at him.

Five minutes turned to ten, ten turned into fifteen, and fifteen turned into a timd, stressful, half hour. Within that thirty minutes Sawyer had sung every oldies song he knew. Of course, once he started singing them he couldn't get it out of his head. The current song playing in his head was "Spook". Why? Sawyer had no clue, he hadn't even heard the song in ten years. He was surprised he even remembered the lyrics:

_If you decide someday to stop this little game that you are playin' _

_I'm gonna tell you all that my heart's been a-dyin' to be sayin' _

Finally Sawyer made up his mind, and decided to go look for Rebecca. Carefully he threw a leg over the side of the cliff, and then scurried down, almost sliding twice.

"Rebecca!" He called once he reached the ground.

No answer replied except the chirping of birds. Sawyer couldn't help but to wonder why he heard them down here and not up there.

"Rebecca!"

A million thoughts ran through his head as the song pounded against his brain. This was his fault. He had let her down. And yet at the same time he was mad at something other than himself. Not Rebecca. Not even necessarily God. He was mad at the general idea of friendship. Friendship had never quite worked out for Sawyer. Hibbs(if he could even be considered a friend), Michael, Jin, Walt, and now Rebecca..what was the world trying to say? That he didn't deserve happiness?

_Just like a ghost, you've been a-hauntin' my dreams _

"Rebecca!" Sawyer called again, placing his hands parallel his mouth in hopes of creating a louder, more echoey sound, like he had seen done in movies.

_So I'll propose... on Halloween. _

The echo effect worked, but once again no response was heard. Sawyer began to panic.

_"I'll be back in five minutes."_

Rebecca's promise repeated in his mind again and again against the bass of the song.

_Baby, love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you _

Sawyer took off running through the jungle, calling Rebecca's name over and over again, and jumping over logs that seemed to appear from nowhere at the last moment each leap. He didn't remember them from the trip earlier.

"Rebecca!" Sawyer called again.

This time he received a reply, an annoyed 'hmph' as someone slammed into him.

_Ah, spooky, yeah-uh! _

Quickly recovering from the impact, Sawyer stepped back to see who he had run into. In hopes of seeing Rebecca, Sawyer was disapointed to come face to face with Sayid, the last person he wanted to see right now. Besides Jack, of course.

"The universe hates me," Sawyer muttered.

"Why does the universe hate you?" Sayid asked curiously.

"Forget it," Sawyer said, and side-stepped Sayid.

Sayid grabbed him by the arm, stopping him.

"Who were you looking for?" Sayid asked.

Sawyer was surprised to hear that he sounded concerned. Sayid usually wasn't the one to meddle in Sawyer's problems.

"No one," Sawyer replied impaciently.

"You're awful worried to be looking for no one," Sayid commented.

"Glad you like to be observant," Sawyer shot, frustrated at not being able to think of a better come-back.

His mind was still focused on Rebecca, and Sawyer knew that if he had had a gun with him, he would've pulled it on Sayid. And that was another thing that was going through his mind. Why wasn't he armed? Was he really that stupid?

"Whose Rebecca?" Sayid asked.

He decided that torturing Sawyer with mind games must've been one of Sayid's favorite new hobbies.

"She's just a friend," Sawyer said through gritted teeth.

Sawyer wondered if that was even true. Were they friends? Or even maybe more? His heart dropped when he realized he may never know.

"What happened?" Sayid wanted to know, this time sounding more sympathetic.

"We were looking for Walt and she disapeared," Sawyer explained, sounding impacient, "and if you'd leave me the hell alone I'd might be able to find her."

"Maybe you should go back to the caves," Sayid suggested, stopping Sawyer again as he tried to leave.

"And get myself murdered?" Sawyer said with a snort. "Or have you forgotten Saint Jack's hellbeant on revenge?"

Sayid didn't reply.

"Forget it," Sawyer muttered, "I didn't ask for your help."

"I didn't offer it!" Sayid called after him as Sawyer sat out for a third time, as if he needed that point to be made.

Sawyer continued his running until he found himself in a familar jungle area, and kicked at the ground harshly when he realized he was back at the caves. Why had he let himself run that far away? No way Rebecca had come back here, and he had no clue where they were before or how to get back to it. Knowing he had no other choice now, Sawyer ducked his head under the cave entrance, and entered the main cave.

Once inside he was surprised to find most of the cave cleared out. Soon though, he realized why. The smile of blood was heavy in the atmoshpere, lingering as he walked through the caves like a burnt candle. Sawyer was thankful when he didn't see anyone he recognized, and was also thankful when no one asked him how he had managed to get so beat up. All he received as he walked by were looks, and Sawyer had always received those looks. He snarled at the castaways as they followed him with their eyes, and they turned away like wimpering puppies. Sawyer chuckled to himself.

Having nothing else to do, Sawyer refilled a bottle of water, emptied it back into the small pool, and then refilled it again. He repeated this process a good number of times before noticing the two bodies occupying the back of the caves. Curious, Sawyer headed that way.

"Dude, you might not want to go back there."

Sawyer jumped at the sound of Hurley's voice.

"Why's that?" Sawyer said, glancing behind him.

"Alex just tried to choke this guy to death," Hurley said.

Sawyer figured Hurley was probably supposed to keep the subject quiet, but was itching to tell someone. Still, at the knowledge of Alex commited such a vicious act, Sawyer found himself wishing he had stayed back at the caves. In the past few weeks survivors had unintentionally divided themselves into groups, and one of those groups had been the former rafties. Of course, now the only two left were Alex and himself, unless they found Walt. Maybe if he had stayed, he thought, he somehow could've stopped her.

"Is that so?" Sawyer said with a hint of sarcasm, and continued to make his way to the back of the caves.

One of the bodies in the cavesSawyer didn't recongize(though he could make out red fingerprints on the man's neck), but he stopped in his tracks when he saw that the other was Jack. Jack was sprawled out on a cot put together by suitcases and cushions from the seats of the plane. A bandage had been placed on his forehead, though it didn't seem to be doing its job. Blood leaked out of the cotton in slow oozes, and Sawyer wondered if anyone was planning to come by and change it. Jack's face was paler than usual, and he was breathing in slow breaths. He was clearly out cold. Sawyer raised an eyebrow, and then turned to the other man.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Sawyer spun around in surprise, and found himself facing Alex, who was hurrying to put something into her bag behind her back. Her cheeks were puffy and her eyes were swollen, as if she had cried to the last tear.

"I could ask you the same," Sawyer retorted.

"I..I.." Alex studdered, "I came to see how Jack was doing."

She quickly crossed over and walked towards Jack. When she reached him she felt his forehead, only to bring her hand back quickly.

"What happened to him?" Sawyer wondered outloud.

"He hit his head on a tree," Alex explained.

Sawyer snorted and Alex glared. Alex carefully removed the bloody bandage from Jack's forehead, and Sawyer swore he saw him flinch in his sleep. Alex replaced the bandage with some cotton and tape that was set on a suitcase nearby.

"You sure you don't want to clean that first?" Sawyer asked.

He didn't want to have to deal with the guilt were Jack to die because of him withholding this information. Not that Jack could die from something as small as that, but knowing Sawyer's luck, he would've.

"I know what I'm doing," Alex said, sounding agitated.

Alex finished redressing Jack's wound, and reached for a bottle of water that had been laid beside the other medical supplies. Uncapping it, Alex poured out some of the water onto Jack's forehead, concentrating carefully as she did.

"What, is that supposed to help bring him back or something?" Sawyer asked.

He was interested to know where Alex had learned all of these medical procedures.

"It's to help keep his fever down," Alex replied.

"Oh," Sawyer said quietly.

Finding himself bored Sawyer let his eyes wonder around the caves until they fell on Alex's bag, and Sawyer recalled her suspicious behavior earlier.

"So what's in the bag?" He asked, speaking louder than he had before.

Alex's shoulders flinched slightly, but she quickly recovered, tucking a lose strand of hair behind her ear. Sawyer couldn't help but to notice that Alex's hair had grown a good two inches longer than its length when he had met her.

"Nothing," Alex said, studdering for the first time since she had entered the caves.

"Really?" Sawyer said, stepping forward.

He picked up the back before Alex could make a grab for it.

"Well let's just see about that," Sawyer smirked.

Sawyer unzipped the bag while pulling it out of reach as Alex continued to swipe at it. Digging through the contents, Sawyer thought for a moment that he was about to meet embarrasment, until his hands landed on a familiar object: a gun. Sawyer pulled it out.

"Well, well, well," Sawyer said with a malicious grin.

Alex stared at the gun as if Sawyer had just taken a golden treasure from her.

"What do we have here?" He went on.

Remembering what Hurley had told him earlier, Sawyer glanced back towards the blonde man across from the unconsious Jack.

"I heard about your little incident," Sawyer said, "wouldn't of expected that from you. Of course, you were the one who took a man and his girlfriend captive and blew up a freakin' ship."

"It was a raft," Alex corrected, "and I only set it on fire."

"But you robbed a ship," Sawyer pointed out.

The fact silenced Alex, but Sawyer caught her as she stole a glance towards the blonde man. Her eyes were filled with pure hatred. Sawyer began to peice the story together.

"You were going to use it on him, weren't you?" Sawyer said slowly.

Alex didn't reply.

"You were going to kill him in front of Jack," Sawyer went on, and then snorted, "gawd I didn't think anyone was that stupid."

Alex's cheeks redenned in emberrasment, but she still didn't say anything. Sawyer found himself furious, furious that he had no idea what was going on in Alex's head.

"Why?" Sawyer finally asked. "Why do it? Why take this innocent life?"

The term 'innocent life' struck a nerve with Alex.

"He killed him!" Alex finally exclaimed. "He took us captive and then he killed him!" Tears formed in Alex's eyes as she continued. "And it's all my fault!"

Alex turned away, covering her face with a hand. Unsure of what to do or say, Sawyer remained silent.

"I should've seen it coming," she went on quietly, "I should've stopped them. I could've stopped them. God why did I have to be so stupid?"

Once Alex finished insulting herself, Sawyer decided that it was in his position to say something.

"You're not stupid," he said, "I'm sure there was nothing you could've done."

Anyone who had heard about the scene wouldn't of believed it, because kindness and reassurance was something that rarley came out of Sawyer's mouth. Even Sawyer himself was surprised at what he was saying.

"You don't know that!" Alex cried.

Sawyer felt himself take a step back in surprise of the outburst. Now he was completly uncertain of what to do, so as much as he hated to, Sawyer knew he should get out of there.

"Me and someone else were looking for Walt," Sawyer began, "she went missing too. I should probably head back out."

"Walt's dead," Alex whispered.

Sawyer caught himself before he fell to the ground in shock. Swallowing hard, Sawyer was determined not to let his ego fall now.

"What about your mom?" He asked, voice shaking a little, after a few moments of silence.

"Still missing," Alex replied quietly, back still turned from him.

"How about we go look for her?" Sawyer offered. "And Rebecca too."

"Who's Rebecca?" Alex asked, clearing her throat and turning towards Sawyer.

Sawyer sighed.

"I'll tell ya on the way out."

Taking a last look at the man whose life he was sure he just saved, and then the one he had ruined, Sawyer handed Alex back her bag and began the walk out of the caves.

**(cue music, "See You Soon" by Coldplay)**

Locke helped Danielle as she jumped over a small riverbend. She didn't need the help and Locke probably knew that, but she found it flattering that he offered. The two had made a mutual decision to return to the caves, as Danielle knew Alex would be worried about her. Neither figured Kyle would've been able to make it out this far on his own anyway, what with the leg injury and all

_So you lost your trust_

_And you never should have_

_And you never should have_

Kate never knew of Sawyer coming back to the caves, but was thankful that she was able to spend time alone with Jack, or rather, the unconsious Jack, without the risk of anyone seeing. She held his hand tightly as Alex had done earlier, praying over and over again silently for some kind of response from him. Kate had hoped that maybe by bringing herself to sit by him like she should be doing, the good deed would wear off into hope of maybe getting Jack- the fully consious Jack- back.

_But don't break your back_

_If you ever see this_

_But don't answer that_

In last attemps to revive him, Kate reached for a washcloth, wettened it with cold water, and dabbed it gently against Jack's burning forehead.

_In a bullet proof vest _

_With the windows all closed_

_I'll be doing my best_

_I'll see you soon_

Claire had been one of the brave ones to have gone back to the beach, beliving in Charlie's philosphy that the monster couldn't be underwater, and wasn't sand built on water? Looking up, she noticed Charlie aproaching her with a full bottle of cold water. Despite the fact that she had seemed him do this many times before, Claire still smiled and accepted the water gratefully.

_In a telescope lens_

_And when all you want is friends_

_I'll see you soon_

Sun sat on the edge of the shore, letting a handful of sand seap through her fingertips. She smiled as she did this, though she didn't know why, and tossed the remaining sand into the ocean.

_So they came for you_

_They came snapping at your heels_

_They come snapping at your heels_

By the middle of the day Sawyer and Alex were a good ways out into the jungle. Sawyer couldn't help but to remind himself that out here in the jungle was probably the only place he was welcomed, though of course, he only had himself to blame for that. Too bad he couldn't admit that earlier.

_But don't break your back_

_If you ever say this_

_But don't answer that_

Shannon sat by herself in the caves, staring at her hands. She had wanted to go with Sayid to look for Boone, but of course he had protested. She couldn't help but to wonder if Sayid made her stay simply because he hated the tension between the three of them when they were together, assuming they find Boone. She hoped they'd fine Boone. Shannon really had no idea what was going on in his life right now, but now that there was a change she may never see him again, Shannon found herself wanting to be apart of his life..again..only this time she was determined to make it work- just not in a romantic way.

_In a bullet proof vest _

_With the windows all closed_

Sayid had hurried into the jungle as soon as the word that Boone had gone missing had gotten around the caves. He knew Shannon was worried about him, though he was probably just still looking for Locke.

"Boone!" He called to the jungle.

"I'm up here!"

Sayid stopped in his tracks, and looked up to a tree above him, where Boone sat on a thick branch.

_I'll be doing my best_

_I'll see you soon_

"You're in a tree," Sayid commented curtly.

"Yeah," Boone said as he began to climb down, "that thing came back-"

He jumped to the ground.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Sayid raised an eyebrow.

_In a telescope lens_

_And when all you want is friends_

"There's something you need to see," Boone said quickly after that.

"Shannon's worried about you," Sayid told him.

_I'll see you soon_

"I know.." Boone said, sounding guilty, "but it could be important."

"Maybe we should just go-"

"It's about the hatch."

_And oh, you lost your trust_

_And oh, you lost your trust_

An hour later Kate still sat in the caves, sleep threatening to take over Kate's wary body. Determined to fight it off, Kate checked on Jack once more, and when she did, her heart leapt with joy: Jack's fever had decreased tremendusly, and along with that, he seemed to be breathing easier, in a more steady rythm. Closing her eyes, Kate said one last prayer..

_No, don't lose your trust_

**Author's Note:** Okay, so us Coldplay fans know that there's a little more to the song but I'm tired of writing this stupid chapter. Plus I think the site might've gotten the lyrics wrong. Please tell me if they did. I think the song's pretty much in it's complete form though. Oh, and that part right there was so not meant to be slash. It's not my fault that's how the lyrics go. Yeah, long chapter. I'd say don't get used to it, but you never know. And sorry for the Alex flashback repeat, but **Whirldwid-2005** guessed this AWSOME plot that wasn't in my original draft about the blonde man being the same person, and I had to show that flashback. Thanks to **Whirldwind-2005** for letting me use that plot, and thanks to all of you for reviewing! You guys rock!

Coming up next, on "In the End":

Finally there's Jate! And you see what's up with the hatch, and some of the missing persons and the castaways unite..I think.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	10. Descend, Ascend

In the End

Chapter Ten

**Author's Notes: **Richard's(the blonde guy) name is now Christopher because as I was reading the story Lady Luck I realized that he was too much like the OC in that story for my liking, even down to the name, which was very unintentional. So now his name is changed and hopefully he isn't too similar. I advise you to go read **Lady Luck** by **TheGirlNextDoor**. It's an awesome story, I love it:D Also, I know nothing about getting arrested in Australia, so I just wrote it like it was in America. Please forgive, and if you're Australian, please correct!

**Disclaimer:** The chapter title comes from the Dead Zone two parters "Descend" and "Ascend" where the two main character guys search for these lost kids in this mine. One of the guys goes into a coma and..well, it's confusing. But it was two of the best episodes on the show, in my opinion. Do the episodes have anything to do with this story? Mayybbeee:p Oh, and "We Can Work It Out" is by the Beatles, of course. A Lennon/McCartney hit, right? Watch that be a George one now..

**Chapter Ten: **Descend, Ascend

_"I don't believe this," the marshal muttered behind Kate as she threw open the curtains to reveal a bright but barren back lot. "And close that damn curtain!"_

_"You could use some sunshine in your life," Kate said under her breath._

_"I heard that!"_

_Kate sighed. _

_Two miles down the road from the marshal's staled car they found an old motel with broken shutters and a half lit sign that read: Motell Ate. No wonder the guy never got business. Not a single room was taken, which was fine by Kate, who talked a reluctant marshal into staying for the night. She figured this way she had a better chance of escaping rather then the two of them walking down the road all night._

_"Dammit!" _

_The marshal cried, and something smashed against the wall beside Kate. Kate turned towards him, and raised an eyebrow._

_"No damn cellphone service," he explained bitterly._

_Kate chuckled._

_"You're enjoyin' this, aren't you?"_

_Kate just smiled. The marshal looked around the room, and was just now noticing that it only had one bed._

_"Sleep on the floor," the marshal instructed Kate with a sigh._

_Rolling her eyes, Kate instead opened the room's bathroom door and peered in. Her hand immediately flew to her nose at the rancid smell, and Kate thought twice before flipping on the bathroom light with her free hand._

_Just as she thought, the room wasn't exactly a five-star. It might not've even made two-star. The toilet seat was down and rusted, and Kate was afraid to lift it for the fear of rats crawling out. A single seat beside the toilet was rusted as well, and the mirror above it cracked._

_Seven years of bad luck, Kate thought to herself._

_The shower didn't have a curtain, and Kate was certain that if she tried turning the water on, it'd be cold if she was lucky enough for the water to be clean and clear. Disgusted, Kate turned her back from the bathroom, and shut the door tight on the way out of the room. On his bed, the marshal had already taken off his shoes, and was unbuttoning his dress shirt as Kate sank into a rocking chair that was in the corner. Her eyes closed slowly, and Kate welcomed herself to sleep._

_Two hours later Kate awoke to find the back lot of the motel dark, and the marshal sleeping soundly in his bed, snoring likely. This was her chance. Thinking quickly, Kate tried to decide on the best way to escape the room. The door would be easiest, but the owner might still be out there. The window was another simple way, and it was large enough for her small frame to crawl through, but if there was a breeze outside, Kate couldn't take the chance that the Marshal would feel it. _

_Glancing between the door and window, Kate finally made up her mind, and tiptoed across the room, heading for the door. Catching a glimpse of the Marshal's briefcase beside the door, Kate grabbed it, praying that for some reason there would be cash in there. The Marshal didn't talk about the case or what was inside it, so Kate just assumed it was something he normally carried around. She took one last glance back at the Marshal's bed, and satisfied, reached for the doorknob._

_"Hold it right there."_

_Kate froze. In a perfect world she would've thrust open the door and fled the building, but the Marshal's cold voice had frozen Kate's muscles, and she couldn't make herself move._

_"Drop the case," the Marshal said slowly._

_Standing stiff, Kate found herself unable to do so. Her mind was in a rush, contemplating what to do. In her hand the case began digging into her skin, making her palms red and sweaty._

_"I said drop the case!" The Marshal demanded with a force that magically sent the case crashing to the floor. "Good, now turn around."_

_This time, Kate was able to keep her mind, and refused. Instead of receiving the command twice, Kate was grabbed, and she gasp as her breathing was suddenly cut short. The Marshal's arm was wrapped tight around her neck, and Kate was unable to move. At last the Marshal released her, throwing her to the floor beside the bed. Moving quickly, the Marshal dug into his pocket and pull out a pair of handcuffs. Kate's eyes widened at the sight of them, and when the Marshal bent down to cuff her, her foot landed on his chest, kicking him back. Kate pushed herself off the floor, and was ready to defend as a fist stretched out for her. Grabbing the Marshall's arm, she used every ounce of strength she could muster, and flipped him over. The Marshal landed hard on the floor, and Kate left him to groan in pain as she leapt over him, grabbed the case, and flew out of the room._

_Once in the hallway, Kate fought to remember which way they had come in. A dark hall light flicked on and off, and Kate waited impatiently for it to turn on again, nervously looking back towards the door. At the last minute she closed the motel room door, locking it from the inside, and dashed towards the half burnt out exit sign as the light flashed over it._

_The night's air blew over her in a wave of coolness, and it was then that Kate realized that not only did she have no clue where she was, she wa also in the middle of nowhere, where there was most likely no town for miles. She wouldn't be able to escape the country for hours and maybe even days, but Kate's worry was soon proven useless. Out of the darkness came flashing lights, one after another, and Kate found herself surrounded by squad cars. Doors flew open and the moonlight landed on her, as if purposefully putting her in the spotlight. More guns were pointed at her than she could count. They were big but Kate couldn't tell what they were. _

_The scene that she had been having nightmares about so many times before in her life played out like a movie, and Kate was only vaguely aware of what was happening. A voice came over what sounded like an intercom, and arguing was heard to the side. The motel's owner had discovered what was happening. Her instincts told her to run the other way, as fast as she could and never turn back, but the shock of what was happening left Kate frozen for the second time that night, and she didn't even bother resisting as she felt the cold handcuffs clamp down against her wrist. For the first time in her life Kate felt trapped, her freedom stripped from her in an unfair struggle that she knew she couldn't win._

**4 months later**

Sitting with Jack in the caves, Kate felt that same sense of entrapment. On the island she still had her freedom for what it was worth, but at the same time the universe seemed to have made up its mind on her fate. All morning she was barely able to face Jack, let alone approach him- even if he was unconscious- but now Kate couldn't move from her spot beside him. Jack's hand was bound with hers, with Kate's fingers rubbing back and forth against the rough skin. Jack was so close to waking up that Kate could feel it in her bones, yet he still remained silent, eyes closed in deep sleep.

**Down the Hatch**

"No offense, but I figured you'd find me sooner than that," Boone commented.

"I ran into Sawyer," Sayid explained.

"What was he doing in the jungle?"

Descending lower into the hatch, Sayid realized that Boone most likely knew nothing of Jack and Kate's breakup.

"He was looking for someone," Sayid replied, feeling it was a safe answer.

"Who?" Boone wanted to know.

"He wouldn't say," Sayid said, he himself still wondering about the supposed missing girl, "but I think I heard him shout 'Rebecca'."

"You don't sound very sympathetic," Boone complimented.

"There was something odd about it," Sayid said.

"Really?" Boone said, curious. "Odd how?"

"He just didn't seem..normal," Sayid said, "the whole situation was very odd."

"So what," Boone said, "do you think he was making it up?"

"It's possible."

Sayid considered the theory. Jack had beat him up pretty badly, and Sawyer was left in the jungle on top of that. It was very possible that Sawyer was simply delusional and didn't know it.

"Like an imaginary friend?" Boone inquired, skipping the ladder's broken step.

"Maybe."

That was another possibility.

"You've got to be kidding me," Boone said, now sounding amused, "I mean, the guy has to be at least what, thirty something? People that old don't have imaginary friends."

"It may be different than your typical imaginary friend," Sayid said, determined to defend himself, "it could be a psychological thing."

"I'm sure," Boone said sarcastically, jumping down to the floor of the hatch.

As Sayid followed, spotting the hatch's computer(now laying horizontal and upside down), a thought occured to him.

"Do you remember ever seeing the name 'Rebecca' on the hatch?" He asked Boone.

Boone looked like he was trying to recall.

"No," he admitted finally.

Sayid and Boone stared at each other for a moment, both thinking the same thing. If the name wasn't on the computer, than she wasn't on the island.

"What did you want to show me?" Sayid asked, breaking the silence.

"Oh," Boone said, stepping aside, "this."

He glanced towards Boone, who was showing him something on the wall. At first he saw nothing but thick blackness, but as his eyes adjusted to the dark, Sayid realized what he was looking at, and wondered how that was because it just wasn't possible. What he was staring at in the light of Boone's flashlight, was a long, dark, tunnel.

**At the Beach**

Charlie and Claire were enjoying the bright sun on the long strip of the island's sandy beach. Well, at least Claire was enjoying the beach, but she couldn't be sure about Charlie. With Jin dead and Locke missing, there was no one left with any hunting experience except Hurley, who could catch a fish in a net if luck let him. Because of this Charlie had taken it upon himself to find food for himself and Claire. After spending nearly all morning trying to catch a single fish, Charlie had finally succeeded and was now trying to clean the fish. Claire giggled to herself when Charlie cursed as he was drenched when he made a wrong move with the knife.

Charlie had been great with all the recent island drama. Though Claire new he had to be afraid(or at least paranoid), Charlie didn't seem to show it. She knew he was hiding to protect Claire, and personally she thought it was cute.

All at once Charlie's attention was drawn from the fish, and Claire watched with interested as she picked up something from the sand, and looked at it. Claire couldn't see what it was from where she sat, but as Charlie ran to her she saw it was a bottle, like the kind they served with beer.

"Look at this," Charlie said, handing her the bottle, "washed up on shore."

Claire took the bottle and examined it. Running her index finger across the bottom, Claire brushed the sand off, revealing some inscribed writing. Shielding the sun with her hand, Claire saw that it was a set of numbers: 6 43 45 91 82 63.

**At the Caves:**

Kate heaved a sigh as she stood, letting go of Jack's hand for the first time in hours. His skin was now tinted red, and Kate began to feel guilty, knowing his hand would be sore for quiet some time. Her foot was asleep, and no matter how long or hard she wiggled her foot, it wouldn't wake up. Standing in defeat, Kate took a careful step, wincing as she felt her weight fall on her foot. Just as she was starting to head towards the cave opening for some fresh air, a groan caught her attention and the jungle air and sleeping foot was forgotten as Kate rushed to Jack: he was awake. As Kate reached for a bottle of water, she realized he was trying to say something.

"Sh.." she told him as she uncapped the water.

"I only hit my head," Jack was saying to himself, struggling to speak clearly.

"I know," Kate said, anxious to keep him quiet, "here, drink this."

Holding the bottle to Jack's chin, she tipped it forward slightly, letting the water slowly drain into Jack's mouth. Jack only coughed the water back up, soaking Kate's hand. She ignored it, and had to act quick to stop Jack from trying to sit up.

"You've been out for awhile," she advised, "that might not be a good idea."

She looked at Jack sympathetically as he sat back down.

"How long was I out?" Jack asked her, now able to talk a little better, though there was still a rasp in his voice.

"All day," Kate replied, hardly able to believe it herself.

Though it had all happened in under twenty-four hours, the day had still seemed like weeks to Kate. Weeks of sitting at a hospital, growing so used to the beeping of heart monitors that she'd begin to hear it in her sleep. Except the hospital was the caves, and the doctors were really inexperienced amateurs taking care of the surgeon. The scene was like a really bad reality show.

"I only hit my head," Jack said again, and was obviously confused.

"I know," Kate repeated quietly.

Kate let Jack rest as they sat in silence, though he never closed his eyes. Jack seemed in deep thought, as Kate herself was. There were a million things that she wanted to say to him, but now that she had her chance she was unsure of where to start.

"Kate, back in the jungle-" Jack began, but Kate cut him off.

"Don't."

Jack looked slightly taken aback.

"You should rest," she advised, covering up her interruption.

"I might have a concussion," Jack protested.

"Right," Kate said, hating herself for not thinking of this earlier, "how would I know if you do?"

Jack began muttering a guideline, but was interrupted by rushing footsteps. Turning around and ready to curse at whoever the intruder was, Kate stopped when she saw Claire with Charlie. Charlie looked excited about something, and Kate saw that Claire was holding something that looked like a glass bottle in her hands.

"What's that?" Kate asked, frowning and crossing her arms as she stood.

Below her, Jack stretched his neck to see, Kate stepped back beside Jack.

"Washed up on shore," Charlie explained, practically hoping up in down.

In all the new excitement of the caves, their other patient woke up from his own long map, though he didn't seem as in pain as Jack was.

"What's going on?" The blonde man asked to no one imparticular.

"Found a bottle," Charlie said excitedly.

He handed the man the bottle, seeming to have forgotten about Jack and Kate. Claire didn't, however, and when she saw that Jack was awake, she smiled at both him and Kate.

"Let me see that," the man said, reaching for the bottle.

Charlie gave it to him, and the man immediately turned the bottle over, looking for something. Kate's eyebrows furrowed as she watched the blonde's facial expression change as his eyes landed on something on the bottle.

"Where did you find this?" He asked Charlie, looking up at him.

Charlie seemed stunned by the abruptness of this demand.

"Where did you find this?" He asked again louder, making everyone in the room wince.

Jack groaned suddenly, and Kate put a hand on his shoulder to stop him from trying to sit up again, and as your everyday comforting gesture.

"At-at the beach," Charlie stuttered, the excitement in his voice gone.

"Take me there," the man said, getting to his feet.

He didn't seem to be in pain at all, and Kate could've sworn jealousy flashed over Jack's face.

"Okay," Charlie said, seeming captivated by the man's sudden demanding voice.

Claire and Charlie were out of the caves as soon as they had entered, taking the blonde with them and leaving only Jack and Kate. The man's quick recovery seemed to have inspired Jack, who put his hands on the side of the cot to stand.

"What was that all about?" He asked.

Kate bit her lip as she watched Jack struggle to stand, only to fall back down again.

"They found him in the jungle," Kate explained, "we don't know who he is."

She decided it was best not to tell him about Alex yet.

"His leg was really beat up," she added.

"He looked fine," Jack commented.

"I..had to bandage him up," Kate admitted shyly.

"Looks like you did a good job," Jack commented, smiling up at her.

Kate felt herself melt, and forced a small grin as she wondered how she could've ever hurt Jack like she had. Taking a deep breath, Kate decided it was now or never.

"Back there in the jungle-" Kate began.

"Don't," Jack said, echoing their previous argument, "I was listening to what you were saying."

Biting her lip, Kate looked down to avoid Jack's gaze as he remained sitting on the cot.

"I want back what we had before," Jack said after a short pause.

Kate heard herself sigh and relief, and quickly turned red in embarrassment. Feeling her knees grow weak, Kate lowered herself to an empty spot on the cot beside Jack. He turned towards her, and Kate's eyes made their way towards the wound on Jack's head. Out of the corner of her eye Kate saw that Jack had caught her gaze, and she quickly turned back towards him, meeting his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Jack continued, this time his voice softer, "for what I did."

Jack reached up with his hand, gently brushing the skin where the palm of his hand smacked against it. Kate winced slightly at the touch, but the tension loosened when her eyes met Jack's again.

"I don't know what else to say," Jack finished apologetically.

"I-"

"Hey, guys-"

Jack and Kate broke apart quickly and Hurley stopped in his tracks at the entrance of the caves.

"Oh, sorry.." Hurley's cheeks reddening, as did Jack's, who quickly looked down at the floor, "I didn't know you were awake."

"It's fine," Kate said, in a hurry for Hurley to leave.

"So are you guys back together now?" Hurley inquired with a hint of excitement.

"Getting there," Jack replied, offering Hurley a smile.

"Thank God," Hurley said, "at least something's turning back to normal. I'll let you two get back to your back-togetherness. I'll see you two dudes later."

Hurley chuckled as he turned around, and Jack and Kate couldn't face each other again for a few moments.

"So what, are we like the couple of hope or something here?" Jack finally spoke up.

Kate let out an uneasy laugh.

"Looks like it," she gazed back into Jack's eyes, which looked full of hope themselves, if not pleading, "we're being depended on."

"Yeah," Jack said, looking away.

It was like his eyes couldn't decide on what they wanted to see.

"There's no justifying what I did," Jack went on, "I don't even think you should forgive me, but at the same time-" Jack stopped, his eyes meeting Kate's once more, "I want you to."

Kate's chest felt heavy. She had to remind herself to breath every few seconds, determined not to pass out on Jack.

"I want me to too," Kate finally admitted, "but I don't know what to think."

Jack didn't respond. There was a look of desperation in Kate's eyes that made her heart sink, and as much as she wanted to forgive him, she knew that if Jack was capable of hitting her once, he could do it again. Kate honestly didn't think he would, and it wasn't that she was afraid of them, it was that she didn't want to be the one to make Jack sink down to that level. She couldn't be sure that piecing their relationship back together would be enough to cure that.

"My turn," Kate said at last, suddenly feeling uncomfortable under Jack's gaze, "there's no justifying what I did either. The only thing I can say is that I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I wasn't thinking..I was being selfish. I don't even think you should forgive me, but at the same time..I want you too."

The tips of Jack's lips curled up slightly, breaking into a small smile.

"You stole my line," he accused.

"Caught me," Kate said, returning the smile.

A silence hung over them, and the tension between them made Kate feel as if she were on a game show, and winning door was standing right in front of her, waiting to be opened. An inner sigh of relief swam through Kate when it was Jack that made the first move.

"So maybe instead of forgiving each other right away," Jack said, breaking the silence, "we could just start over, and go from there."

Kate smiled.

"I'd like that."

Before she knew what she was doing, Kate felt herself leaning in towards Jack. She didn't know what she was doing or why, but Jack certainly wasn't backing out. While they were apart and while Jack was unconscious she had missed him, truly missed him, even after what he did. Kate couldn't imagine ever having a conversation like this with Sawyer. She couldn't even dream up how it would begin. Most likely it would've gone something like Kate trying to apologize or get an answer out of Sawyer, and Sawyer kissing her, and letting the resolution stand at that. They would avoid their problems, leaving them abandoned. Kate would become like a puppy a child received for Christmas. For the first few hours it was all fun and games, but once a mess was made, it was sent back to the pound. At the last moment Kate realized that starting over was the same thing as avoiding, and found herself disturbed, if not frightened, at the thought of her relationship with Jack turning out like one with Sawyer. As harsh as it sounded, Kate knew that she and Jack could do better than that.

"Wait," Kate said, pulling back quickly.

Jack's face sank in disappointment, and Kate bit back a laugh, thinking it was cute.

"Something wrong?" Jack asked.

"We can't do this," Kate said, "we can't just start over every time one of us screws up, and from what it looks like, it's going to happen a lot."

She let out an unnecessary chuckle to cover up the silence she received from Jack.

"We need to learn to forgive each other," she continued.

"But Kate, this isn't like you left the water running or shrunk something in the laundry," Jack argued, "this is on the level of..crashing the car or forgetting to pay the electric bills."

"I know," Kate said, hiding her amusement of the thought of Jack pulling out a three-sizes-too-small scrub top out of the dryer, "but we should do this."

Jack sighed.

"It's gonna take some time," he confessed, speaking for himself.

Kate nodded in agreement.

"But we can work it out," Kate said, "and in the meantime..we can still be the couple of hope."

Jack chuckled.

"I think we're going to make Charlie and Claire jealous," he said.

They laughed until the comic-relief died out, and Jack glanced towards the cave entrance.

"So should we go ahead and walk out holding hands?" Jack joked.

"I think we're supposed to wait for the heavenly light," Kate said with another laugh.

Placing his hands on the cot beside him, Jack lifted himself up, but a wave of dizziness prevent him from going anywhere. Kate quickly moved to help him sit back down.

"I still don't get it," Jack said in frustration, "I only hit my head. I shouldn't of been out that long. I can't think of a single medical explanation for this."

"Maybe we shouldn't be looking for a medical explanation," Kate said quietly.

Their eyes met each other's again, and a shiver went up Kate's spine.

"I don't like this island," Jack confessed.

"You're just now realizing this?" Kate said with a snort.

Jack ignored her reply.

"We're not safe here," he went on, looking around the cave as if he had never been in there before.

"Well we can't just pack up and leave," Kate said.

"There has to be another way," Jack was thinking quickly.

Kate seemed to be able to read his mind.

"Another raft?" She said in disbelief. "That would be raft number what, three, four? Jack, someone doesn't want us off the island. We're not going anywhere."

"But we can learn more about where we are," Jack said, "maybe something like this happened before. If only we could ask Danielle.."

"Hey-" Kate said, desperate to get Jack to calm down, "hey!-" she grabbed Jack's hands to stop him from waving them around anymore.

She made sure she had his attention, and met his eyes. Kate was becoming amazed at how many emotions one's face could sustain in such a short amount of time.

"We're going to be okay," Kate said in a calm, comforting tone.

Kate knew it was Jack's nature to worry, and that he couldn't return her hope, but reassurance seemed like something Jack needed right now.

"Maybe you should lay back down," Kate advised.

Jack sighed and agreed reluctantly, letting Kate lower him down onto the cot.

"You mentioned a concussion?" Kate said, remembering the earlier parts of their conversation. "How would I know?"

Jack walked Kate through the process, and in the end they both concluded that Jack was concussion-free, though neither could come up with a diagnoses. Even though Kate insisted that he'd get some rest, Jack claimed that he wasn't tired, and the two finally agreed that they could catch up for awhile before she'd leave Jack to rest. Kate told Jack everything that had happened that day, still leaving out Alex's attack on the blonde, though telling him about her venturing off with Sawyer. At this Jack's face once again contorted with jealousy, though Jack didn't say anything.

They talked a bit about the bottle and where it could've come from, and even why the monster didn't bother to go ahead and eat them whole. Their conversation ended with Jack telling Kate about a dream he just now was remembering from this morning, something about a sunburnt penguin, but Kate couldn't be sure.

Though she laughed along with Jack's attempts at jokes(though a couple of them were actually humorous), Kate found her mind slipping away and began thinking about their earlier talk of forgiveness and starting over. Could they really make this work? There was no doubt in Kate's mind that Jack wasn't trustful about wanting to try, but in the end, no one could really know. Kate heard Jack mutter something incoherent about shrimp and fish before dozing off into sleep. Smiling, Kate couldn't help but to think 'I told you so', and remembered something Jack had told her before: "I'm not big on rubbing it in". Still smiling Kate stood up, brushing her hand against Jack's arm before finally going out for that breath of air.

_Try to see it my way,_

_Do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on?_

_While you see it your way,_

_Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone._

_We can work it out,_

_We can work it out._

_Think of what you're saying._

_You can get it wrong and still you think that it's alright._

_Think of what I'm saying,_

_We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night._

_We can work it out,_

_We can work it out._

_Life is very short, and there's no time_

_For fussing and fighting, my friend._

_I have always thought that it's a crime,_

_So I will ask you once again._

_Try to see it my way,_

_Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong._

_While you see it your way_

_There's a chance that we may fall apart before too long._

_We can work it out,_

_We can work it out._

_Life is very short, and there's no time_

_For fussing and fighting, my friend._

_I have always thought that it's a crime,_

_So I will ask you once again._

_Try to see it my way,_

_Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong._

_While you see it your way_

_There's a chance that we may fall apart before too long._

_We can work it out,_

_We can work it out_

**Author's Note:** I wanted to do a song ending with Jack and Kate in that, but I didn't want to break up the few paragraphs, so really you should've been playing that song in your head while reading that. Apologies for the longness of it at the end. Sorry this took so long, wild week. Wild week, wild weather, wild colds. Stupid winter colds. So the Jate's finally back, and I just realized a few days ago that I made you guys wait ten chapters for it. I'm sooo incredibly sorry! I can't believe I was actually able to go that long without writing Jate! Apologies once again:) Thank so much for all the reviews! I can't believe you guys are still sticking with me! You have no idea what that means to me:D You guys rock!

**Whirld-wind2005: **Smart you are! At one point I considered making Rebecca a figment of Sawyer's imagination, but whether or not I went with that plot, that's for me to know and you to find out:p

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

I loved it when what's-their-names hosted _America's Funniest Home Videos_, so let's play good news/bad news. The good news: major Jateness coming up, or at least what I think of as major Jateness. The bad news: someone else is dying- a major character- and it's not who you think. Or maybe it is. Who knows. But it's going to be unexpected, and I'm not sure if it's going to happen next chapter or not.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	11. Back Again

In the End

Chapter Eleven

**Author's Notes: **You'll recognize a lot of the hatch stuff from season two, but it's not the same thing. In fact, you'll probably think it's exactly like the hatch set- um, so I guess maybe some season two spoilers from here on out- but it's a different conspiracy thing. "Begin the Beguine" lyrics thanks to: http/ They're confusing on song credits, so I'm not sure who to credit it to, but I don't own it.

**Chapter Eleven:**

The tunnel ahead of them was dark and damp, and a distant noise of what sounded like a leaky faucet could be heard. Neither Sayid nor Boone could be certain how long it was or wide it was, but when Boone shone his flashlight into it, it could be estimated to be maybe thirty feet long.

"You just found it here?" Sayid whispered, now paranoid that someone had been listening in.

"Yeah," Boone said proudly, "cool, huh?"

"We should go," Sayid disagreed, already turning around to climb back up the ladder.

"Are you kidding me?" Boone exclaimed.

"You come back and this place just happens to be here?" Sayid whispered, glancing around nervously.

"Exactly!" Boone hissed. "We're supposed to go in there! It's like..a sign or something!"

"You've been around Locke too much," Sayid commented wisely.

Boone sighed.

"Well, I'm going in there," he announced, mind made up.

"We don't know how sturdy this is," Sayid pointed out.

As if he had already planned what to do in this case ahead of time, Boone quickly reached up with his flashlight, and tapped hard on the tunnel's ceiling. No dirt fell from the ceiling, the thing was as hard as rock. Curious, Boone once again let his flashlight illuminate the tunnel, until Sayid's hand fell on it, pulling it down towards the floor. Boone looked up at him.

"Keep it low," he instructed.

Boone nodded, and stepped into the tunnel. Sighing, Sayid followed, knowing he'd have no choice.

**At the Beach**

"We found it right about here," Charlie said, leading the blonde towards the shoreline.

"I'm Christopher by the way," the man said as they walked.

"Cool," Charlie replied, "can I call you Chris?"

"No," Christopher said, giving Charlie and Claire a smile, "Christopher's fine."

Claire shivered as he smiled at them. She didn't trust him, this Christopher. For one, of all her time spent at the beach, Claire couldn't recall seeing him or even hearing his name. Then just this morning, he was found in the jungle, though Claire couldn't remember seeing anyone heading into it. Maybe he was just lived at the caves, Claire told herself. Of course, Kate hadn't recognized him either, and over the past few months she had spent a fair amount of time at the caves. Months. God, Claire couldn't believe how long it had been since the crash, since meeting Charlie, since Ethan, since everything. Glancing over towards Charlie, who was now introducing himself, and saw that he didn't seem bothered by Christopher's presence at all.

"And this is-" Charlie hesitated before introducing Claire.

"Claire," she offered.

"Australian," Christopher commented.

There was that smile again. The second time he shot it, Claire realized that somehow, she recognized it.

"Had a friend who lived there once," Christopher continued, "ever heard of a Ryon O'Daire?"

Was he really expecting her to be able to pick out one friend of his out of the millions of people in Australia?

"No," Claire replied, "sorry."

"Shame," Christopher said, "great guy. He's Irish but he's from Canada. Peculiar family. They had this closet door they'd never let me look in."

"You two were friends then?"

Charlie sounded very interested in the story.

"Sort of," Christopher replied, smiling sadly.

The empathetic vibes seemed to bounce off of Charlie, whose excitement about this new friend died gradually. After replying, Christopher said no more, and Claire welcomed the silence gratefully.

"Here," Charlie said, stopping where he had found the bottle, "this is where I found it."

Christopher bent down and examined the sand below him. Claire glanced towards Charlie, who shrugged as Christopher scooped up a handful of sand, and then let it seep through his fingers, which looked rough and callused. He then looked out to sea, as if he was expecting to see something there.

"Weird," Christopher whispered to himself.

"Something wrong?" Claire asked inquisitively.

Christopher shook his head and stood up.

"No," he said, "it's just weird, isn't it? A bottle just washed up out of nowhere? Where could it have come from? And why this side of the island?"

"This side?" Charlie asked.

"The south side," Christopher replied, "it's not like anyone out there has anywhere to go."

"Those numbers are weird too," Charlie cut in, "think they mean anything?"

There came that smile again.

"Maybe someone just really liked their fortune cookie," Christopher said thoughtfully, "mind if I stay with you guys for awhile?"

"No, go ahead," Charlie replied happily, "that's if, of course-"

He glanced towards Claire, who shook her head.

"It's fine," she said quietly.

Truthfully she still didn't trust Christopher, but what was she supposed to say? Charlie gave Claire a pat on the shoulder, and smiled as he turned back to Christopher.

**Down the Hatch**

Boone's flashlight followed the tiny puddles to a fork in the road, at least twenty yards away from the entrance. One hallway turned to what looked like a room, while the other kept going forward, towards a door. Ignoring the room, Boone tried for the door, which seemed glued to the wall.

"It won't budge," Boone informed Sayid, who had been following behind them.

"Maybe it's not supposed to," Sayid said, eyes following Boone's flashlight as it examined the door, which was a dark solid wood.

Unlike doors, this one had no handle or crack just above the floor. To try and open it, Boone had to throw himself against it. Tired and sore, Boone gave up, and turned his attention to what was in fact, a room. The room was pitch black. From somewhere behind him water still dripped, which blended in well with Boone's slow, careful breaths.

Bringing the light off the floor, Boone watched as the beam bounced off the walls, displaying a row of shelves, that looked like stored everything from medicine to Shakespeare classics. There wasn't a light switch or light bulb in sight, not even at what looked like a computer desk. Curious, Boone stepped closer, stepping in a puddle along the way. He winced at the sound, which echoed in the room, and was followed by a crash behind him. Spinning around, Boone was startled to find Sayid laying on the ground, unconscious with a trail of blood that started from his forehead. Boone looked for a source of the crash, but could see nothing. Attention captivated by the crash, Boone never heard the footsteps behind him, or hand stretching out above his head.

**At the Beach**

Charlie was finally getting back to cleaning his fish, which was almost ready for cooking. Claire was reading some Stephen King novel she had borrowed from Alex, and Christopher was sitting in the sand in from of them, examining a small scar that was left behind from his leg troubles. With all the blood, the small scar seemed out of place, something that Claire wanted to- but of course didn't- discuss. A whistle broke what had once been a quiet atmosphere, and it didn't take long at all for Charlie to recognize the song.

"'Begin the Beguine'!" Charlie exclaimed.

Christopher raised an eyebrow.

"No offense," he said, "but I wouldn't expect someone your age to recognize a song like that."

"Well I'm proud to inform you that I'm very unlike most my age," Charlie said.

Claire rolled her eyes, and turned the page she was on, though she hadn't finished reading it. She couldn't of told what was going on in the novel if someone paid her. Claire was too preoccupied with Charlie, and the time he wasn't spending with her. Call her jealous, but Claire had grown used to having Charlie around, and never even considered the possibility of him just ignoring her like this.

"_It brings back the sound of music so tender, it brings back a night of tropical splendor,_" Charlie sang, and Christopher joined in the verse after that.

"Get a room," Claire muttered bitterly, exasperatedly flipping the next page.

Charlie glared, though he didn't comment.

"So are you a big music fan?" Christopher asked after singing a few more lines.

"Are you kidding?" Charlie said, excited, as Claire sighed. "I was in a band, Driveshaft! We did some big tours in Europe. One hit wonders, you know?"

"I've heard of you guys," Christopher nodded, "I think I've got a few of your cds back home."

"Cool," Charlie said, beaming, "hey, if we ever get off of this place we should get together sometime."

"Sounds great."

Claire knew that it couldn't mean anything, but the way Christopher said 'sounds great' sent shivers down her spine, and once again the errie sense of dejavu from earlier came over her.

**Down the Hatch**

Boone fell to the ground with a groan, and watch through blurred vision as two boots stepped near him. In the shadow of his fallen light, he watched as a hand bent down. He flinched, preparing for another blow to the head, but instead the hand picked up the flashlight. Just before the hand was out of view, Boone noticed a scar on its wrist. A blinding light suddenly fell on him, and Boone let out a short cry of pain as he tried to shield himself from the light.

"Are you him?" A gruff voice asked.

"Wh-what?" Boone stuttered.

"Are you him?" The voice repeated.

"Am I who?"

_What's this guy talking about?_ Boone thought. _And what's with the lack of lighting?"_

"You don't know?" The voice asked, sounding furious.

Feet began pacing in front of him, every now and then stepping in a small puddle of water.

"You don't know," the man asked again, though this time in a panicked realization, before he spat it out, ending his panic attack, "_you don't know!_"

"I don't know," Boone repeated hesitantly.

The guy was clearly very angry with him, and Boone hoped to come out of this with as less broken bones as possible.

"The code," the man said suddenly, "do you know the code?"

Boone blinked.

"Code?"

His reply came out slightly muffled, as his cheek was laying against the cold, concrete floor below. This was something else Boone found odd about the place: instead of being made of dirt like the caves, the floor to this place was an actual floor, made out of some kind of concrete or stone.

"The code!" The man exclaimed. "The code! Do you know the code?"

Boone searched his mind for a possible solution, and ended up feeling like an idiot. Of course. The code.

"The four, eight, fifteen thing?" Boone asked, thinking quickly to remember the number sequence.

"No!" The man hissed. "The code! The one that will..that will.."

"That will what?"

"Shut up!" The man shouted, voice shaking. "It's on a need to know basis and you..you don't need to know. If you don't know the code then you're not him.." the man sounded positively frightened, "and if you're not him then..then..who are you?"

"I'm-" Boone closed his mouth, thinking.

What if he could convince this guy that he was 'him', whoever 'him' was? But he couldn't think quick enough, and soon the face that belonged to the frightened voice was right in front of his own. The face made Boone shiver: it was frightening itself, white and pale, with another scar that ran across the cheek bone.

"Who the hell are you?" The face asked, eyes wide.

Before Boone was even given a chance to answer, the hand reached up again, and he blacked out.

**In the Jungle**

Though Alex had spent more time than most on the island had with Sawyer, at the moment she felt more distanced from him than she remembered being before. She figured this was due to the recent deaths, all of which had been people that both of them had considered friends. Tempted to lighten the mood, and take the conversation off death, Alex decided on a safe topic.

"Favorite food," she said.

Sawyer didn't seem to hear her at first, but after walking a few paces, he spoke up.

"What?" He said, sounding disgusted at the question.

"Favorite food," Alex repeated, "what's your favorite food?"

"You've got to be kidding me," Sawyer said with a snort.

"I'm not," Alex said, growing frustrated.

Why wouldn't he ever just _talk_?

"I'm not having this conversation," Sawyer declared flatly.

"Oh come one," Alex said, "it's simple."

"For one," Sawyer said, "I'm from the south, and your from those fancy rich towns, so you probably wouldn't know what I'm talking about. For another, this is pathetic, and I'm not that desperate for a conversation."

"Obviously not," Alex muttered bitterly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Alex crossed her arms and kicked at the ground.

"You're the psychic," Sawyer said mischievously a few paces later, "you tell me."

She opened her mouth to protest, but then Alex figured that if this was the closest thing to a conversation she was going to get with Sawyer, so be it.

"Turnip greens," Alex replied confidently, "you like turnip greens, and you got made fun for it when you were a kid. Your mom used to make them when you were little. You still like them, though you haven't eaten them since."

Sawyer was silent. Alex felt guilty for admitting knowing all of this, but it wasn't her fault. Scrawling, Sawyer seemed put in a bad mood, which lasted for the majority of their search.

"Smells like rain," Sawyer finally commented ten minutes later.

Alex snorted.

"You can't smell rain," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Are you kidding me?" Sawyer said with a laugh."

"Southerners," Alex muttered.

"Hey, I take that in offense," Sawyer said, and they both laughed. "Seriously, tell me it's not going to rain."

"It's going to rain," Alex admitted, sighing in defeat.

Sure enough, a quick five minutes later it began pouring, and soon Alex couldn't see what was right in front of her. She was sure that she had lost track of Sawyer, and there was no reply when she called his name Stopping before attempting a path uphill, Alex looked around desperately. A figure was walking towards her, but as Alex squinted to see it clearer, she knew it wasn't Sawyer. As the figure came into view, Alex saw that it was limping and clutching its left arm. The figure continued to stagger forward, and Alex gasped when she realized who it was:

Kyle.

"I thought I lost you," he called to her, sounding relief.

The sound of his voice made Alex shiver. Her mind told her to run, scream, move, do _something_, as he continued to move towards her, swaying heavily from one leg to the next, but Alex could only stand there. She was frozen in the rain as he neared her, as she _allowed_ him to near her.

"I knew you wouldn't leave me," Kyle went on.

Alex felt her lower lip tremble, and a pit form in her stomach, returning to its normal hollow from a few days ago.

"That's one thing I've learned on this island," Kyle stumbled over an imaginary log, hand closing around his arm harder as he did, "to never lose faith."

Alex felt herself begin to shake. Her mind was spinning, and all she could think of was what was about to happen, or at least what was capable of happening, and for the first time in a long time, Alex prayed. She prayed for Sawyer to come back, for some method of defense- anything, anyone. Yet at the same time she prayed for Kyle, for him to come and end it for her, because she was just now able to say his name, to think it, without the slightest trace of fear or paranoia. Because now she was finally able to move forward, but there was nothing to move forward to. Because as much as she wanted it to all be over, she'd rather be pushed off the cliff than to jump off herself.

"But now it doesn't matter," Kyle went on, "because don't you see? We're meant to be together. We're the survivors. We-"

_Bang. _

Alex jumped, closing her eyes. When she forced herself to open them a few moments later, Alex saw what was now Kyle's dead body on the jungle floor, surrounded by a pool of blood. She shook and her lips turned blue in the cold as Alex stared at it, relieved yet horrified at what she was looking at. Suddenly a second figure stepped out from behind the tree, and bent down beside Kyle. It was Locke.

"He's dead," Locke confirmed.

Alex's form didn't change. She still stood, frozen and shivering, even as she felt another presence approach her from behind. And like that everything hit her. What was happening, what could've happened, what was stopped. And Alex didn't even bother looking for face or name when she was pulled into a hug. Recognition didn't even come until the tears did, when Alex realized she was crying into her mother's arms, something she never thought she'd ever get to do as a child. Alex gratefully accepted the hug, and after a few sobs, was able to calm into a quiet flow of tears. It was then Alex forced herself to look up, back at the body. Locke was picking him up as she did, and was careful not to meet her eyes. He then carried Kyle off to somewhere she didn't know, leaving only herself and her mother.

"Let's go back to camp," Danielle said quietly.

Alex nodded, completely forgetting that Sawyer was nowhere to be found. She stayed close by her mother as they walked off, though Danielle would never know that before the site was out of range, Alex turned, taking one look back.

**Author's Note: **Danielle murdered KyIe, if you didn't catch that. I was going to show her shooting him, but I decided against it. If you were watching this on screen, I probably would've shown Danielle shooting him, and her head slowly coming out from behind the rifle, but I couldn't do that from Alex's point of view, and I wanted the hug part in there. Don't worry, much happier times are to come, or at least for awhile. Sorry for the long wait, I've had a small case of writer's block. Also, sorry that this chapter was a little shorter than the others, but I wanted to leave plenty for later so that I can make this fic as long as possible. Thank you guys so much for the reviews! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

The happy times come, in a date between Jack and Kate. Okay, so it's not really a date, but it turns into one, unintentionally, of course. It should be a nice, light chapter to cover up the dark times from both the past and future.

Thanks again!

Until next time!

October Sky


	12. I Need You To Love Me

In the End

Chapter Twelve

**Happy early birthday** to **Crazyhoresgirll88!**

**Disclaimer:** "I Need You To Love Me" is a great song by the group Barlow Girls.

**Please** excuse the spelling for now, I'll try and fix it tomorrow.

**Chapter Twelve: **I Need You To Love Me

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Kate asked for the dozenth time that day. "I mean, your head-"

"My head is fine," Jack said, smiling at Kate's worry, "can't you just be spontaneous?"

"Oh, me be spontaneous?" Kate laughed. "'No, we shouldn't risk going to the beach, it might rain', 'No, you shouldn't eat berries from that bush, dirt grows around it'. Honestly Jack, you should listen to yourself more often!"

Jack found himself laughing along with Kate, accidently bumping into her in the process. Kate pushed him back, causing Jack to laugh even harder. The spontaneous run on the beach had been the first thing on Jack's list after he learned just how bad is near-death experiecnce had been. Kate had gladly agreed, needing to get out of the stuffy atmosphere of the caves, though she soon regretted it after running only a few yards. Jack could see where she was coming from though, he knew that if it had been he who had spent the day praying for Kate to wake up, he'd be fragile with her, and it was comforting to him knowing that Kate was doing the same.

"At least I finally got out of the caves," Jack said, breathing in the salty smell of the ocean, just for the heck of it, as they jogged by and made their way up a sand dune.

"You get out of the caves?" Kate said with a snort. "You're the one that's been asleep for two days!"

"Not my fault," Jack shrugged.

Kate smiled to herself, and held it for awhile until she burst out laughing.

"What?" Jack demanded playfully.

"Nothing," Kate said, shaking her head, "I was just thinking about telling Claire how adorable you are when you're helpless."

"Really?" Jack said, laughing in disbelief. "How about I go get Sawyer to throw a few punches so you can gather everyone around and go 'Aw, see how adorable he is!'?"

Kate laughed.

"Okay, okay, stop!"

"And what's this talking to Claire stuff all about anyway?" Jack went on.

Kate shrugged.

"Something wrong with a little girl talk?" Kate challenged.

"Yeah, well maybe someday me, Sayid, and Charlie will gather around the campfire and chat about our girlfriends," Jack teased, "we'll bring out the nailpolish and everything."

Once again Kate burst out laughing, and then stopped once she realized what Jack said.

"What?" He asked, noticing her abrupt pause.

"Nothing," Kate lied, and then decided that she was better off not lying to Jack right now, "you just called me your girlfriend. At least, I think you did. And it's Sayid, Charlie, and I."

Jack rolled his eyes, and thought quickly. Kate actually felt hurt that he was thinking of excuses.

"Out of habit," was all Jack had to offer, "of course, I always call girls who starve theirsleves watching over me all day my girlfriend."

"Stop making me sound pathetic," Kate warned.

As they jogged on, Jack thought about his reply. It really had been out of habit calling Kate that, but he wasn't exactly embarrased by it either. Was that a bad thing? Looking up from his thoughts, Jack noticed a tree emerging into view, and grabbed a piece of fruit from it as they walked by. He took a bite without even checking to see what it was, and was about to take a second when he noticed Kate's expression.

"What?" He asked innocently.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you to share?" Kate in almost a betrayed share.

"Get your own," Jack told her.

Kate scoffed at his reply.

"I could've left you back at that dune, you know," she said.

"But you didn't," Jack reminded in a sing-song voice.

"I could've just left you knocked out yesterday," Kate went on.

"But you didn't," Jack sang, enjoying his moment of triumph.

"I could've told Sawyer about those rubber ducky pajama pants you keep hidden in your cave."

Jack stopped, and was about to argue, when he realized..

"Wait," he said, thinking, "I don't even own any duck..animal pattern..whatever it was."

Jack was embarrased just to be talking about the subject.

"Well they're there," Kate said, pushing Jack so he'd continue running, "and they're not mine."

"Well," Jack said darkly, "if they're not your's, and they're not mine..then who's are they?"

Jack looked at Kate mysteriously, which momentarily had them both laughing, until Jack eventually fell to the sand, needing to rest.

"Come on," Kate begged, pulling his arm, "just a few more yards."

"No," Jack protested, "no more yards. For once I'm not pushing myself to hard, you should be taking advantage of that, you know."

Kate sighed, and flopped down beside him in defeat.

"Speaking of Sayid," Jack said, though he hadn't mentioned him since earlier, "where has he been?"

Kate shrugged, throwing her hands lazily over her knees.

"Hey went out to look for Boone," she explained, "who went out looking for Locke, who-" Kate stopped in annoyance of the way her statement was going, "you get the picture."

They set in silence for a few moments as Jack thought about all the events that he had missed, and he began to feel guilty about not being able to be there to help out.

"We should probably go," Jack said, getting to his feet.

"No!" Kate said quickly, surprising Jack not only by the abrupt reply, but shortly afterwards he felt her hand on his arm, as if she were trying to pull him back down beside her. "We should stay out here for awhile, we could both probably use the fresh air."

Jack met her eyes, and found that she was practically desperate for him to stay.

"All right," Jack agreed, unable to turn her down.

He offered her a small smile, which she returned, though she seemed to have to force it, unlike her smiles before, which came naturally with the shared laughter. Slowly Jack lowered himself to the ground, wincing as he sat, though not because of soreness. Reaching into his back pocket for the source of pain, Jack pulled out something leather, which he soon recognized as his wallet. He had completly forgot about having it. The wallet distinctly resembled his fathers, which was neatly hidden amongst his things in the caves.

"What's that?" Kate asked curiously.

"Nothing," Jack lied, quickly moving to put the wallet back.

"Let me see!" Kate said excitedly.

"It's nothing," Jack lied again, swatting her away.

Before he saw it coming Kate had grabbed the wallet, not even giving Jack a chance to fight back. He reached for it, but Kate was quick to pull away, smiling mischeviously the entire time. Sighing, Jack figured there probably wasn't anything good in there anyway, and went back to eating his apple, which he had also forgotten he had. He chewed as Kate thumped through his credit cards, and when he reached the core of the apple, Jack pulled his arm back and hurled the apple towards the sea.

"Jack!" Kate cried, spotting the movement. "That's bad for the enviroment!"

"Tree hugger," Jack muttered bitterly, and Kate sneered.

"You just remember that when I live ten years longer than you," Kate said, smirking knowingly.

"I'm sure I will," Jack said, sighing as he examined his dirty fingernails in boredorm.

"American Express, Master Card," Kate read outloud as she flipped through the wallet, "along with..a ten dollar off coupon for Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and a token for Chucky Cheese-" Kate raised an eyebrow, "well Jack, can't say I'm not impressed."

"Give me that," Jack grumbled, and grabbed for the wallet, successfully jerking the wallet out of Kate's hand.

She didn't seem to mind- Kate seemed too wrapped up in laughing as hard as she could at Jack. At last she settled down, shaking her head as she tried to regain her breath.

"Do I even want to know?" She said, looking over at him.

"My mom made me go out shopping for her," Jack said in his defense, "and then one of my co-workers was having a birthday for her daughter and asked me to help."

"Aw, like LA's own Mother Teresa..or should I say, Father Teresa?" Kate joked.

Jack looked down in embarrasment, though he couldn't help but to smile.

"So was it you who decided to keep the extra token, or was it part of the party?" Kate continued, taking the given opportunity to tease Jack gratefully.

"Very funny," Jack said sarcastically.

"Just tell me that I'm not going to go back to LA and find out that you hold the highest pinball score or something," Kate said, trying to sound serious, but failing.

"Actually," Jack said, a smile playing on his face, "it's skeeball."

He met Kate's eyes, also trying to be serious, which resulted of both of them laughing until their sides hurt. When Jack was finally able to cease his laughter, he took the time to look back over at Kate, who was still looking at the ground, trying to force herself to stop laughing. Jack couldn't help but to think that just yesterday, he never thought he'd be in this position again. Maybe that was why Kate was so desperate to stay out with him, maybe she missed being together too.

"You never talk about your mom," Kate observed rather calmly, considering their last topic.

"I know," Jack said quietly, looking down.

"i'm sorry," Kate said quickly, after seeing his change of attitude.

"It's fine," Jack lied, "she and my dad divorced when I was maybe six, and got back together a few years ago."

"Sounds romantic," Kate commented.

"More like disturbing," Jack said, recalling being told about his parents relationship a few years ago after decades of feuding, "so how about your mom? You never talk about family."

"I never see them," Kate replied quietly.

A distant reviere settled in after that and not sure what to do, Jack just sat back, watching as Kate drew her knees in closer to her chest, her eyes becoming more and more distant by the second. After awhile it became apparent that Kate was despreate to be freed from her daze.

"So.." Jack said, trying to come up with a subject change, "the weather's nice today."

Jack mentally kicked himself. That line never worked.

"It's fine," Kate said with a snort.

Jack looked at her in surprise.

"I didn't mean to avoid the conversation like that," Kate said, "it's just I never got to see them, being on the run and all."

He had never considered that being on the run could mean being cut off from family and friends, and at detecting the guilt in Kate's voice, Jack felt badly for her. Kate cleared her throat.

"Anyway," she said, welcoming the subject change even after her confession, "yeah, the weather is nice today."

Kate nodded off, looking out to sea. Following her eyes, they soon found themselves staring at the same exact spot on the horizon.

"Maybe we should keep running- jogging-" Jack was quick to change his wording, seeing Kate flinch at 'running', "we didn't get caught in these awkward silences while jogging."

"I'm sorry," Kate said quickly.

"No, it's fine," Jack said with a chuckle, "I wasn't trying to accuse you of anything."

Kate forced a small, grateful, smile.

"The water looks good," Jack commented a few moments later.

Kate smiled again.

"It's January, Jack," she reminded.

"You never got to experience the joy of polar diving?" Jack said with a sly smile.

"What?" Kate laughed.

Jack shrugged.

"Whatever it's called," Jack said, "you know, jumping out in a lake in the middle of winter."

"Sounds fun," Kate said sarcastically, "how about you go jump out there in the water, and I'll sit on the shore and laugh."

"You know I don't think I've ever seen this side of you," Jack chuckled, "I can't say I'm fond of it."

"Well I figured with Sawyer MIA and all, someone had to make up for the lack of one-liners," Kate said smartly.

"MIA?" Jack asked, confussed.

"Missing in action," Kate said, looking at Jack as if he had just grown an extra arm.

"No," Jack said, shaking his head, "I know what it means, I just didn't know that he was missing too."

"Yeah, well one's usually tends to gets lost after one's left beated in a jungle," Kate said lightly.

Jack didn't find the comment amussing. Beating up Sawyer was really a spur-of-the-moment type thing. Thinking back, if he had had time to think about what he was doing, Jack probably wouldn't of done it, or at least he wouldn't of left Sawyer as bad off as he had.

"I'm sure he's find," Kate reassured.

"So you think he got away then?" Jack said, covering up for his pause.

Kate studied him.

"You're plotting more ways to kill him, aren't you?" Kate said in light disbelief, yet at the same time sounding slightly impressed.

"Oh yeah," Jack nodded sarcastically, "I've had poison stashed away, waiting for just the right moment to slip it into his drink."

Kate laughed.

"Seriously, you shouldn't blame him," Kate said, looking down again, "it was my fault."

"Can we just..drop this?" Jack asked, beginning to feel uncomfortable with the conversation.

They set a few moments in silence, and Jack was contemplating the suggestion of continuing their jog when Kate spoke up.

"So this polar jumping," Kate said, the term having lingered in her mind for awhile, "have you done it before?"

Jack chuckled.

"Funny things happen in college when you get drunk at three in the morning," he said.

"Like getting tatoos and jumping in freezing cold lakes?" Kate inquired, eyes twinkling.

"Like that," Jack laughed.

"A bunch of drunken surgeon wanna-bees," Kate said thoughtfully, "something tells me I never want to see that picture."

"It wasn't pretty," Jack admitted.

Kate laughed the joke off.

"So is it fun?" She asked, looking out over the ocean.

"It's cold," Jack said, shivering at the memory.

Kate gazed out over the horizon, looking as though she were trying to conjure up a plan.

"I'll tell you what," Kate said at last, "you run out there in the water- and I don't mean just a few feet- and I'll kiss you."

Jack laughed.

"So then this is the moving forward part?" Jack said. "Cruel jokes and bets?"

"I can be romantic when I want to be," Kate replied.

Jack laughed again, and looked out to the ocean. At very first thought, Jack laughed at the bet, but now that he thought about it, the water probably wasn't that cold, and as a bonus, he'd get to kiss Kate. Now Jack had to laugh at himself. He felt like a desperate teenager who was very bad with peer pressure. However, he also knew that Kate would never leave him alone about being a whimp, and it'd get even worse when the rumors spread- not to mention it would only be for a few minutes.

"All right," Jack agreed, "I'll do it."

Kate looked at him in disbelief as he began taking off his shoes.

"Seriously?" She said.

"Yeah," Jack said as he pulled off a sock.

He had to hold back a wince as his bare foot touched the sand, which was unusually cool.

"I was just kidding, Jack," Kate said, watching him take off the other shoe and sock, "you don't have to-"

"No," Jack said, standing up, "I'm going to and then-" he pointed at Kate, "I get that kiss."

Jack winked, though Kate wasn't amused. As Jack stepped closer to the water, Kate realized that if he was really going to go through with it, she might as well get as much out of it as possible.

"Hey Jack!" Kate called just before Jack dove into the water.

Jack turned around.

"What?"

"You forgot to take off your shirt," Kate said, smiling.

Jack's mouth fell agape.

"It's Januarary, Kate," Jack complained.

"You're going swimming, Jack," Kate shot back.

Now enjoying herself, Kate sat back in the sand, propping herself up by the elbows, letting the wind blow around her. Jack stood staring, mouth agape, for a few seconds before finally speaking up.

"Fine," he agreed, "but if I get hypothermia-"

"Save the lecture," Kate said.

Relucantly Jack began peeling off his shirt, gasping slightly as the wind hit his skin. He could've sworn he heard Kate let out a whistle from the ground, but when he turned towards her, she just shrugged innocently.

"Well go on," Kate said, waving him towards the ocean.

Sighing, Jack took a deep breath, and put a foot in the shallow tide. Immediatly the foot shot back up, almost before the shock of the cold water hit him. Behind him, Kate laughed, causing Jack to spin around, scrowling.

"What?" Kate said, grinning evily. "Polar bear got your tounge?"

Jack let out a final scrowl, and stepped out of the water.

"Forget this," he muttered bitterly.

"Aw," Kate teased, "too cold?"

Instead of a reply, Kate received a handful of ice cold water thrown at her.

"Jack!" Kate squeeled. "It's cold!"

Jack let out a roar of laughter as Kate shivered, lifting herself off the ground.

"You're mean," she accused.

"Oh, I'm mean?" Jack said in exasperated disbelief. "Who's the one that just jumped out into ice water on a bet?"

"That's not being mean," Kate defended, "that's being desperate. And you didn't jump, it was more like..a skip.

"Hey," Jack said, putting his hands up, "that's not desperate."

"Jumping into a forty degree ocean for a kiss," Kate said thoughtfully, "yeah, I'd call that desperate."

Instead of defending himself Jack let the comment go, laughing as he shook the sand out of his shirt. Looking around as he put it back on, Jack noticed that the early sunset was sinking in low on the horizon, and from many nights spent on the island, Jack knew that this meant night was coming. He found himself disapointed, and for the first time in awhile, didn't want the day to end.

"I have an idea," Jack annonuced.

"Shoot," Kate said, settling down again.

"Let's stay out here for the night," Jack proposed.

Nerves hit after he stated it, and Jack found himself regretting the request. He didn't actually want to seem desperate, and he didn't want to seem pushy either. Most of all, Jack didn't want to rush things. From past experiences, Jack knew that was a bad idea. When he realized Kate was waiting for him to continued, Jack swallowed, and knew he'd now have to with it.

"Just me and you," Jack explained, "for the night."

"What about our stuff?" Kate asked, seeming uncertain.

"Sorry Kate," Jack said jokingly, "didn't know you were the face mask, wrinkle cream type of girl."

"Are you calling me old?" Kate challenged with narrow eyes. "Last I checked, we're on oposite sides of the hill here."

"Only joking," Jack laughed, "we can go back to the caves if you want-" he met her eyes, "but I'd rather stay out here."

Kate knew what Jack was thinking: when he was last at the caves, Charlie had exposed to everyone what had happen between him and Kate. There could be no reassurance that being knocked out for hours would change one's views on that.

"Okay," Kate agreed finally.

That night Jack made a fire, and they hardly moved a foot from where they had sat that day. Most of the night was spent in silence, neither wanting to be the first to fall asleep. It was like a middle school slumber party.

"Think they're worried about us?" Jack asked as the moon crept over the island, highlighting the slow tide and sandy shore in cast of white shadows.

"Well since half of them are missing-" Kate caught herself before continuing, knowing this wouldn't ease Jack's worries, "I'm sure they're fine."

Jack nodded, though it didn't answer his question, the reply was slightly reassuring. There would always be that part of him that would always believe something bad was going to happen.

"Maybe we should go back," Jack said a few minutes later.

"No," Kate said quickly, as she had done earlier that day at the suggestion, "I'm sure everything's fine.

**At the Caves**

That morning Jack and Kate headed for the caves, both hungry and tired, having spent most of the night awake. As they entered the caves grew quiet, as expected. Wht Jack hadn't expected was for Charlie to be so prepared to lash out at him. Charlie had just entered from a second entrance with the guy Jack recognized as the one with the hurt leg and Claire, though it took him no time to cross over to Jack.

"What the bloody hell's going on?" Charlie demanded.

"Morning to you too," Jack muttered with a yawn.

He attempted to push by, but Charlie grabbed him.

"So everything's all right now?" Charlie said, glaring between Jack and Kate. "Just like that?"

"Charlie-" Jack and Kate began at the same time.

"No," Charlie said, "forget it. But just know that if it had been me hitting someone else- a woman nonetheless- there would've been hell for me to pay. But no, the noble Jack can do whatever he wants-" he glared up at Jack, meeting his eyes with a dark, cold, stare, "and I'm sick of it."

Charlie shoved passed the two to the other side of the caves, leaving everyone in silence. A second person brushed by Jack shortly after, and Jack didn't notice until the last minute that it was Kate. Ignoring the stares he got, Jack chased after her.

**(cue music: "I Need You To Love Me" by Barlow Girls)**

Kate wasn't able to get very far before Jack caught up with her. He grabbed her arm, careful not to hurt her, and forced her towards him.

_Why, why are You still here with me _

_Didn't You see what I've done? _

As she was forced to face him, Jack saw that Kate was fighting to wipe tears away before he could see her, and his face fell.

"Let go of me," Kate said quietly, and Jack did.

_In my shame I want to run and hide myself _

"Kate," Jack said in a calm, voice, but not too harshly, "we need to talk."

_But it's here I see the truth _

"Just leave me alone," Kate whispered.

"No, we're going to talk about this," Jack said.

Kate looked up at him, giving him her full attention.

_I don't deserve You _

"I don't care what Charlie thinks, or what Sawyer says, or anythin like that," Jack began, "if we think that we can do this and move on- get over the past-" Jack took a deep breath, "than we can."

_But I need You to love me, and I _

_I won't keep my heart from You this time_

Kate looked aw to avoid Jack's eyes, biting her lip. Jack could only stand there and hold his breath, waiting for a reply.

And I'll stop this pretending that I can

Somehow deserve what I already have

"All right," Kate finally whispered, "but let's just not go back for awhile, okay?"

_I need You to love me _

Jack sighed in relief.

"Sure," he agreed, "you want to walk it off?"

_I, I have wasted so much time _

Kate nodded him, and followed Jack down a random trail back towards the beach. When they weren't even ten feet down the path, Kate put a hand on his arm, stopping him. Jack looked down at it.

_Pushing You away from me _

"The water," Kate explained quietly.

"Right," Jack nodded.

_I just never saw how You could cherish me _

"I can go get it," Kate offered.

"No," Jack said quickly, startling Kate, "we don't care, remember?"

_'Cause You're a God who has all things_

Kate nodded hesitantly. Looking down at her, Jack noticed the scar left from where he had hit her, and closed his eyes tightly. Had the cause of pain been anything else- falling down a hill, or even a fight with someone else- the mark would be gone by now. Instead the mark had scarred like a burn against her pale skin, a burn that haunted him everytime he looked at her. Jack felt a hand fall on his cheek. Opening his eyes, he saw that Kate was looking up at him.

"Getting passed the past, remember?" Kate reminded, offering Jack a small smile. "Moving on?"

"Right," Jack nodded, taking a deep breath, "let's go get that water."

_And still You want me _

They walked slowly back to the caves, and despite their earlier declarations, hesitated before entering.

_Your love makes me forget what I have been _

A few eyes followed them as they entered, including Charlie's. Jack looked at him warningly, putting a protective arm around Kate's shoulders, as Charlie did the same for Claire, and stormed off.

_Your love makes me see who I really am _

Grabbing their bags, Kate took out the empty bottles and began refilling them as Jack began talking to Hurley. Kate heard Hurley chuckle, and smiled, thinking of the stories Jack could be telling him.

_Your love makes me forget what I have been_

Jack turned at that moment, meeting her eyes and smiled. Kate admited that she had been a little relucant on Jack's plan for the future earlier, but now for the first time, Kate felt truly confident that things were going to get better.

**Author's Note:** Okay, personally I thought that chapter was a little cheesy but oh well, it's Jate. Speaking of which, I had to rush to finish this tonight because I know we'll all be excited about the Jate ep. tomorrow. Hope you guys liked the chapter and enjoy the show tomorrow night, and thank you so much for reviewing! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

We'll find out where Sawyer is and what happened to Rebecca, and in return they'll each find out a secret about each other..or at least I know Rebecca will. Meanwhile the hatch thing gets creepier, and Danielle, Alex, and Locke return to camp.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	13. The Code

In the End

Chapter Thirteen

**Author's Note: **Remember, similar to the show, but not the same;)

Disclaimer: "I Know" is by Jude, who also either wrote, composed, or both, "You All Everybody". If you can find the song to listen to, that'd be wonderful, but since I don't know how to upload songs without having to type in a million email addresses, you can still read it without hearing it. In fact, it may even be easier that way.

**Chapter Thirteen: **The Code

Boone awoke with a groan, and rubbed the side of his head where he had been hit. Forcing his eyes open, Boone was momentarily surprised to find himself in the dark.

"You're in a closet," a voice informed him, "at least, I think that's what this place is."

A light flipped on, and tiny dots danced as Boone shut his eyes quickly to block the new light. The dots faded as Boone reopened them, and Boone shield his eyes, though the light was dim. Sayid's face appeared across from him. As his eyes adjusted, Boone noticed that neither he nor Sayid had been tied up, and Sayid looked unhurt. Of anything, Sayid looked positively bored.

"Where are we?" Boone asked, forgetting what he had just been told.

Sayid sighed.

"I don't know," he replied irritably.

Boone shifted his weight so that he was leaning on his right leg, and flinched when his arm hit against something sharp. Pulling his arm towards him, Boone saw that a cut had formed where the object had stabbed his skin. He put a finger over the cut to cease the bleeding, and looked over to the side. Boone gasped.

It turned out he was leaning against a shelf, a very tall shelf for that matter. A very tall shelf stuffed with food. Packaged goods filled the shelf, and generic brand canned drinks made up another shelf to the left of them.

"There's..food here," Boone said slowly, looking over at Sayid, who had an arm thrown over his knee with his chin rested on it.

"I know," Sayid muttered.

As he spoke, his eyes never left their spot where they seemed glued to what looked like a door. Boone's eyes lit up as he realized all the different brands of food around them, and wondered how Sayid could just sit there, not even taking notice to it. Without thinking twice, Boone grabbed a bag of chips, and tore it open. A few spare chips fell to the ground as the bag ripped, but Boone ignored them as he reached down in the bag, scooping up a handful of chips. He placed one on the tip of his tongue, and melted as the sweet taste of the chip hit him. It took him almost a full minute to eat the first chip, savoring the taste and flavor chip as though it were his last meal.

"Hurley's going to love this," Boone said with a laugh as he began stuffing chips into his mouth.

Remembering the drinks beside him, he reached over, and tore open a case of what looked like a store-brand of Coca Cola. He popped open a can, catching the fizz before it could dissolve, and handed a second to Sayid, who shook his head.

"You're choice, man," Boone shrugged, and lifted the coke in the air, "cheers."

In the Jungle

"Rebecca!"

No answer.

"Alex!"

No answer. Sawyer swore as he kicked at a walk. He was beginning to think that maybe he should stop going on walks with women: Sawyer was developing the tendency to lose them.

"Rebecca!" He called again. "Alex!"

This time, a muffled cry answered him, and Sawyer darted towards it, without looking to see which way he was going. As Sawyer ran the cries for help grew nearer and louder, and he was starting to think that maybe he was just hearing things when suddenly someone shouted at him, and Sawyer realized Rebecca was on the ground, not further than ten feet from him.

"Thank God," he muttered as he dropped beside her.

"Who's Alex?" Rebecca asked weakly.

"No one," Sawyer replied quickly.

Carefully Sawyer lifted Rebecca's head, placing it in his lap. He gently pulled the loose strands of blonde hair, now highlighted in red, away from her face, and when he saw the wound his heart fell. A slick cut ran across Rebecca's right cheek, bleeding a dark shade of crimson. Rebecca cooperated with him until he began using the bottom edge of his shirt to try and stop the bleeding.

"Don't.." Rebecca gasped softly.

Sawyer looked at her in concern.

"Use my jacket," she whispered.

"It's fine," Sawyer lied, "damn thing's faded anyway."

Truthfully he was fond the shirt, one that he saved from the wreckage that first week, but the thought of the blood staining it hadn't even occured to him until now.

"No," Rebecca protested.

She reached up and attempted to take off her jacket. Sawyer hadn't noticed it before, but now that he did he saw that it was a white athletic jacket, like the kind you'd work out with, and Sawyer briefly wondered if she was athletic. It was then that Sawyer realized that he really knew nothing about Rebecca's life, or at least her present one. For all he knew she had escaped from some crazy house before sneaking onto the flight. Hell, he couldn't even remember if she had actually mentioned being on the flight.

"Just..hold still," Sawyer said, putting a hand on Rebecca's, which had already stopped fidgeting with the jacket in pain.

Looking down, he noticed her fingers were scratched. When Sawyer finally brought his hand down from her face, he was relieved to see that the bleeding had at least momentarily slowed, but the wound still didn't look good, and he knew it must be painful.

"We've got to get you to Jack," Sawyer concluded.

"But you said-"

"Forget what I said!" Sawyer exclaimed. "I'm taking you to Jack, you're hurt!"

"It's fine.."

"Would you stop saying that?" Sawyer spat.

Rebecca closed her mouth, which was open and ready to protest, looking hurt, and it was obvious it wasn't from the wound.

"Sorry," Sawyer said truthfully.

"It's okay," Rebecca whispered.

Sitting back, Sawyer let out a breath he hadn't realize he had been holding. He took a moment to let his pulse die down, and then leaned forward again.

"Let's go," he said, getting to his feet.

This time Rebecca didn't protest. Sawyer put an arm around her shoulder, helping her to her feet.

"You okay?" He asked her before taking the first step forward.

Rebecca nodded.

"Okay."

Sawyer drew in a deep breath and let it out. He was never the comforting type, but when it was necessary, Sawyer knew he could be.

"All right then," Sawyer said.

Rebecca followed his first step forward with ease, though on the second she found herself wincing in pain. Letting go of Sawyer, she leaned forward onto the bark of a nearby tree. A moment of impatience came over Sawyer, but knowing arguing wouldn't help, he remained silent. At last, Rebecca nodded, and pushed herself away from the tree.

"Okay," she said, "I'm ready."

Sawyer nodded along with her.

"Okay."

**Down the Hatch**

"You don't know what you're missing out on man," Boone said, unwrapping a chocolate bar.

"I'm sure I'm not going to regret it," Sayid said dryly, and laid his head back against the wall.

Two hours since they had gone down the hatch and they were still stuck in the storage room, though Boone didn't mind. Besides food their were numerous other items piled in the room: clothing items in multiple stacks(Boone had already helped himself to one of the jackets, since the room underground was almost cooler than the world outside), boxes of notebooks(all blank) and pencils, and various toiletries(toothpaste and shampoo amongst them). Boone concluded that at least the man who had taken them captive lived down here, if not others as well.

"What's wrong with you?" Boone said before biting into the chocolate.

"What's wrong with me?" Sayid repeated, lifting his head up. "What's wrong with me is that I'm stuck down here, when there are a dozen other things that I could be doing with my time- stuck down here with _you_! The only way we're going to find a way to fix that machine is to get back to it, which we can't do when we're locked up down here!"

"So this is my fault then?" Boone said angrily.

Sayid didn't reply.

"Yeah, everything's my fault, I get it," Boone snapped. "And you know what, I have to live with that, so why don't you think about things before pointing fingers?"

Realizing that he was now leaning forward, Boone said back, letting out a bitter sigh.

"At least you've found the problem," Sayid said with a hint of sarcasm.

Boone glared.

"I knew we shouldn't of come down here," Sayid went on.

"Then why did you?" Boone exclaimed.

"Because I wasn't going to let your murder be on my conscious!" Sayid shot. "You're so careless in every decision you make!"

Boone looked to the side in anger, trying to block out Sayid's complaints and accusations, because he knew most of them were true, and he hated having to admit to his mistakes.

"And look where it's gotten us!" Sayid was saying. "I'm sure we'll be able to defeat the monster with-"

Sayid's arm came around quick, grabbing the first item from the shelf his hand landed on.

"-potato chips!" Sayid finished, thrusting the chips in Boone's face.

"You never know," Boone shrugged, "maybe all this time the monster's really been craving chips, and we were the substitutes."

Sayid scrawled.

"I'm glad everything can be a joke for you," Sayid said, more calming than before but still sounding cold and accusing, "because we're going to die if we can't fix this, if we can't stop this thing."

Boone looked over to Sayid.

"No one's dying," Boone said flatly.

"And how are you going to go about making sure that happens?" Sayid inquired.

Just then the door flew open, and Boone squinted as the dark and damp outside atmosphere blended in with the dimness of the room. A rancid smell came floating in as the door open, and cough escaped Boone's throat.

"You," a rasp voice said, "get up."

A rifle was pointed at Sayid, who hesitated.

"I said get up!" The voice roared.

The rifle went back and then came down again. Boone was sure that Sayid was going to be knocked to the ground, but instead the butt of the gun slammed down hard against the floor, causing Boone to jump. Sayid didn't even flinch. He didn't make any movement towards standing either. Instead the man bent down, bringing himself face to face with Sayid. Boone notice that the man went out of his way of avoiding the light, squatting in the shadows. Placing the barrel roughly beneath Sayid's chin, the man with the rifle forced Sayid to look up at him. Eventually, their eyes met, each exchanging cold, hard, stares.

"Do you want me to kill you?" Sayid was asked, in a low, intimidating voice, though Boone was sure that he was more nervous than Sayid.

"Don't," Boone said suddenly, surprising even himself, "take me."

Sayid's eyes narrowed, and the man with the gun raised an eyebrow.

"I'll go," Boone offered again.

"What the hell would a want with you?"

Boone felt a little insulted. It was clear that this man thought Sayid was the stronger and most likely smart of the two, and probably a greater threat.

"I know more about this place than him," Boone explained simply.

The man looked like he was considering the offer, but quickly declined.

"Sit back down," Boone was told.

Boone hadn't even realized in the mist of things that he was standing. At the site of the gun shaking, threatening to turn in his direction, Boone silently obeyed, but just as he was almost on the floor, he remembered the situation being primarily his fault, and he felt the need to try and regain control of things. Swinging forward, Boone grabbed onto the rifle, and tried to wrestle it out of the man's head. However, the gunman was quick, and Boone found himself trapped against the wall, pinned by the rifle.

"Don't try anything," the man spat in his face.

The edges of the rifle were jammed into his throat before he was freed, and the man swirled back around to face Sayid.

"Let's go," he instructed to Sayid.

Sayid followed, seeming to have given up on his protest. Most likely, Boone thought, his own attempts at saving Sayid from who knows what gave Sayid time to conjure up some brilliant plan of escape. The door slam shut, catching Boone off-guard and causing him to flinch. He listened until the footsteps had faded into the distance before sinking to the floor, dropping his head into his hands.

**In the Jungle**

"So where were you?" Rebecca asked Sawyer.

They hadn't made as much progress as they had hoped, speaking that Sawyer had no clue where he was going and Rebecca's injury, though since Rebecca was now able to walk by herself, they were starting to pick up the pace.

"Looking for you!" Sawyer said. "What the hell happened to you?"

"That thing tried to get me!" Rebecca cried. "You didn't hear it?"

"No," Sawyer said, and looked down, watching his feet walk one by one as he thought, "there's something about that place we found I don't like."

"You're tellin' me," Rebecca agreed, "when I got back to the bottom and looked up again, it was like the cliff never ended. No way was it that high before."

"So what do you think we found?" Sawyer said. "Narnia the sequel?"

Rebecca snorted.

"You're running low on comebacks," she teased.

"You have the nerve to say that to the guy left beaten in the jungle?" Sawyer shot back with dry humor.

"That was nearly two days ago," Rebecca said, rolling her eyes, "God I figured you'd stop complaining about it by now."

Sawyer smirked.

"I never stop complaining."

He continued to watch his feet as he walked, but now he notice something odd. The ground was changing gradually as they moved forward, changing from the jungle green and brown to a hardened shade of sand, much like the floor of the caves. Curiously Sawyer stopped and looked up, noticing Rebecca had done the same. There was a very good reason the ground looked like the floor of the caves, because that's exactly where they were at. But not their caves. These caves were huge with a wide opening, and dozens of rock formations that decorated the center. Cautiously Sawyer stepped forward, ignoring Rebecca's hand on his arm, trying to stop her.

"Sawyer-" she pleaded, taking a step forward but not daring to go any further.

Sawyer waves back to silence her. Then, all at once the flapping noise started, and Rebecca screamed as they were engulfed in a black cloud. The cloud dissolved as Sawyer swatted at it, and flew away with an ear-piercing, screech.

"Bats," Sawyer muttered under his breath.

"There are bats here?" Rebecca said, voice shaking.

"Apparently," Sawyer replied, talking more to himself than Rebecca.

As Sawyer looked around the seemingly empty caves, he had had no clue that Rebecca was doing the same, not until she let out a soft cry.

"Oh my God," she stated, covering her mouth with a hand.

Quickly jumping over the rock formations, Sawyer fought to get to her, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder when he did. He looked down to see what was wrong, and stopped when he saw what had caught Rebecca's attention. On the ground in front of them were various items: a jacket, a thermos, and a book. After recovering from the shock of the find, Rebecca bent down to pick up the book. As she did, Sawyer's hand never left her shoulder.

"_Wuthering Heights_," Rebecca read, brushing dirt off the cover page, "interesting choice."

"Give it here," Sawyer said to her.

"What?" Rebecca said, putting a hand on her hips.

"I want to read it," Sawyer said through gritted teeth.

Rebecca threw the book at him.

"You're sick," she muttered.

Sawyer only smirked.

"Let's get out of here," he said, looking around, "this place gives me the creeps."

"It should."

Rebecca and Sawyer spun around. In front of them stood a man of at least forty, with short hair. He was wearing tattered jeans with holes in the knees, hiking boots, and a long, black t-shirt, much like the one Sawyer himself wore. To complete the look, the man also possessed a gun- a rifle, in fact- which was pointed right at Sawyer and Rebecca.

**Down the Hatch**

"I said, what's your name."

The question came for the third time, and for the third time, Sayid didn't answer. Instead he kept his lips pursed, and eyes straight, looking straight passed his captor. Though he could've easily fought back, Sayid had cooperating as he was tied to a chair in a room that had been to the left of the storage room, down a dark tunnel Sayid hadn't noticed before. He figured that the only way they were going to learn more about this place was the hard way, and they needed to know as much as they could. So far, his planned had failed.

"Tell me yours," Sayid replied without fear.

The man scrawled.

"Tell me your name!" The man demanded again, shoving the barrel of the rifle in Sayid's face.

"The gun doesn't scare me," Sayid told him.

The man let out an exasperated sighed, throwing his hands in the air.

"Tell me your-"

"We're on an island, there's no point in knowing my name," Sayid interrupted, "but if you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine."

The man sighed again, and turned back to Sayid.

"Callum," he replied, "my name's Callum."

"Sayid," Sayid said, "I'd shake your hand, but clearly that's impossible.

"Sorry," Callum replied hastily, "you can't get away."

"I won't try," Sayid promised.

"Yes you will," Callum said, "you'll try and get back to them, your people."

"How do you know who I am?" Sayid said curiously.

"I don't," Callum admitted, "I just know who you're apart of."

An eerie sense of dejavu swam over Sayid as he remembered a similar kidnapping by Danielle. He wondered briefly if she were back at the caves now with Alex, or if she was still out there in the jungle somewhere.

"What is this place?" Sayid asked him. "The food, it was still good, where did it come from?"

Callum sighed, running a hand through his long hair.

"The stuff in there," Sayid continued, "these books, computers, where did it come from?"

"I don't know!" Callum cried suddenly. "I don't know, okay? I don't know what's going on, I don't know what's happening!"

He was nearly in tears.

"God they left me.." Callum repeated this a few times before realizing he was repeating himself, "and now I have to do this, on my own."

"Do what?" Sayid wanted to know.

"I don't know!"

Silence.

"Maybe I can help you," Sayid offered after a short pause.

"You can't help me," Callum began, trying to calm himself down, "not unless you have the code. Not unless you're him."

"'Him'?" Sayid repeated.

"Him!" Callum cried. "The one with the code!"

"What code?"

"I _don't know_!"

Callum brought a fist to his mouth, biting down hard on it, seeming to forget the need to hold the gun on Sayid.

"What does the code do?" Sayid asked calmly.

Sayid didn't think that Callum was really meaning to hurt anyone. He was just trying to solve some big catastrophe and was panicking. One thing Sayid knew was that Callum didn't need to be taken over the edge right now.

"It..it'll make everything stop," Callum said hesitantly, "we'll have to start all over, but at least it'll stop."

"What will stop?" Sayid asked.

"The deaths," Callum shivered, "the attacks."

"The monster," Sayid said in realization.

The gun was immediately at his face again.

"What do you know about the monster?" Callum demanded.

"Nothing," Sayid lied quickly.

He wouldn't even know how to begin explaining what he knew about the monster. Underneath the binds, Sayid's wrist began to ache, and he locked his fingers together in attempts to stop the pain.

"You probably don't know any more than I do," Callum said, pacing the floor, "but the code..I need that code."

"Maybe I can help you find it," Sayid said in a last desperate attempt for freedom.

Callum studied him, and for a moment he was thought that he had a deal, a light of hope that grew as Callum untied them, though he was only being set up for a let down. Grabbing him by the shoulders, Callum forced Sayid to his feet, not even bothering to give instructions this time. With the barrel of the gun Sayid was led back to the storage room, though Callum pulled him aside before throwing him back inside.

"Tell him nothing of what I told you," Callum hissed, and threw open the door, shoving Sayid back inside.

**At the Caves**

Jack's eyes threatened to close as he fumbled with the medicine bottle. After searching, Jack had found something that would help him stay awake, but he lacked the energy to even open it. Frustrated, Jack threw the bottle back on the makeshift table of medicine, and rubbed his face with his hands, closing his eyes hard for a peaceful moment of rest.

"Giving in, Doctor?" A voice teased from behind him.

"Alex!" Jack said in surprise, turning around.

Throwing his arms around her, he pulled her into a brotherly hug, and then momentarily pulled back.

"You're awake," Alex commented, studying Jack, "and you look good. The wound doesn't look bad at all."

"Apparently I have you to think for that," Jack smiled, "when did you go to med school?"

"Oh I didn't tell you?" Alex said playfully. "I didn't really drop out of high school, I was accepted early into Harvard."

"That's amazing," Jack said, "especially considering that Harvard's a law school."

Alex blushed.

"Yeah, well I missed college day," she said, "think they'll take trapped on a not so deserted island with polar bears and a monster on the lose as an excuse?"

"Hey, now at least you could use 'polar bear ate my homework'," Jack joked.

Alex laughed.

"Alex?" A quiet voice asked from the side.

Alex and Jack turned to find Danielle standing at the entrance to Jack's cave.

"I'm going to go with John back to the beach," Danielle said, "I'll be back in fifteen minutes."

"Okay," Alex nodded.

Jack raised an eyebrow as Danielle left.

"You two seem on good terms," Jack observed.

Alex shrugged.

"Things happen."

Alex crossed her arms, and found herself running out of things to say. It was such a relief for her to be back at the caves, with Jack and the rest, though after her recent run in with Kyle, and being rescued by her mother, Alex realized she was becoming clingy like a child would. She might as well have been on the ground, hanging onto her mother's feet and begging her not to leave.

"So you found Locke," Jack said, interrupting her thoughts.

"Yeah," Alex replied, "actually, my mom found Locke-" she almost laughed when she saw Jack's look of concern, "it's a long story."

"Well, I'm glad your back," Jack said, "but I've got to-"

Jack seemed reluctant to continue. Alex laughed, knowing what he was trying to say.

"You look like you're about to fall off your feet," Alex said. "You better get some sleep because I'm not going to carry you back when you collapse on the way to the beach."

"Looks like you were taught well at that med school," Jack chuckled.

"Passed the exams with flying colors," Alex said with fake pride and a laugh, "night Jack."

Jack looked at her in confusion.

"It's only morning," he protested.

"Night Jack," Alex repeated with a laugh and a grin as she left him in the caves.

**Down the hatch**

Once again Sayid and Boone were left in the storage rooms, almost in the same exact positions as earlier. Sayid hadn't told Boone anything about what Callum had said, not because of the threat, but because he didn't really see the point, especially considering they didn't know how long they'd be down there. Sayid watched as Boone unwrapped a third chocolate bar, and huffed in disgust. Boone took a bite out of the candy bar, exasperatedly expressing the relieving taste of the chocolate, and then grabbed another bar from the box

"Come on," Boone said, waving the chocolate bar in front of Sayid's face, "you know you want it-" he took another bite of his own bar, "it's really good.."

Growling, Sayid grabbed the unwrapped chocolate from Boone's hands, and began tearing the plastic off. Boone smiled triumphantly, and continued eating his candy. Sayid stared at the candy bar before taking the first bite, and he had to admit, it was good. The taste of the chocolate melted in his mouth, and he was about to take a second bite when the door once more opened. This time, instead of coming in, Callum threw someone in the storage room with him. The body slammed into the walls and rolled onto the ground where it remained, unmoving. Sayid and Boone leaned forward over the body to see who it was as the door closed. Boone was the first to confirm the identity, in just as much surprise as Sayid.

"Sawyer?"

Sawyer groaned at the sound of his name, rolling his head to the side. His eyes opened lazily, though when he saw who he was looking up at he jumped back, almost hitting the wall. At last Sawyer was able to speak.

"Where the hell am I?" Sawyer said, looking around the place in horror.

Boone glanced towards Sayid and sighed:

"You explain it to him."

**At the Caves**

"''Afternoon," Kate greeted Jack as he stepped out of his caves, "you look good."

"And it seems to be the talk of the day," Jack smiled, "did you get any sleep today?"

Kate rolled her eyes.

"I wish," she sighed, "you wouldn't believe-"

"Someone help me!" A woman cried from nearby.

The entire population of the caves turned to see a blonde woman running towards them, a nasty looking a cut covering her right cheek. Pushing her way through the crowds, the woman finally made her way to her destination, which appeared to be Jack and Kate.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked her, grabbing onto the woman's arm to steady her.

"They took him," the woman sobbed, "he..he took him!"

"Who took who?" Jack asked urgently.

"Sawyer!" The woman gasped through a round of unsteady breaths before collapsing in Jack's arms.

**Down the Hatch**

Sawyer sat in shock of the story he had just heard from Sayid and Boone. Together the two had confessed the finding of the hatch, the finding of what was inside it, and the many months that followed.

"You've got to be kidding me," Sawyer said at last.

He squinted to something sitting beside Boone on a box he had failed to notice.

"And is that chocolate?" He said in disbelief.

"Yeah," Boone said happily, "want some?"

"Hell yeah," Sawyer said, lifting himself up from his slouching position against the wall.

Sawyer took the chocolate from Boone and ate it hungrily. Having not eaten in days, Sawyer was starving, and at remember his lack of nutrition, his stomach began to ache. His head was throbbing as well, and that only began the multiple list of injuries Sawyer was suffering from.

"So you two have been sitting around, watching us like we're some damn experiment for months?" Sawyer said in disgust as he chewed the candy bar.

"Locke too," Boone added.

Sayid glared at him.

""That's sick," Sawyer said, "and now we're just stuck down here?"

"Unless he decides to let us out," Boone nodded.

Sawyer sighed and looked around, observing the room, and his eyes widened as they landed on a spare plank of wood on the ground.

"I've got an idea," he pointed to the wood, "give me that."

Sayid looked behind him at the wood, and handed it to Sawyer without question.

"We're breaking out of here," Sawyer declared.

**At the Beach**

Shannon's eyes scanned the jungle anxiously. She hadn't seen Boone in what felt like days, and Sayid had gone missing as well. The thoughts of starting a search party had occured to her, but she wasn't sure to ask. As if he had read her thoughts, Locke emerged from the jungle, chatting happily with Danielle. By the time she reached Locke Shannon was out of breath, and she was embarrassed to have to have Locke walk her through the breathing process as other members of the beach camp watched.

"What's wrong?" Locke asked her once she had regained a steady pulse.

"Boone's missing," Shannon said, "and Sayid hasn't been back."

Locke and Danielle exchanged glances.

"How long have they been missing?" Locke asked.

"Um.." Shannon thought quickly, "I don't know."

Shannon heaved a sigh, angry with herself.

"We'll find them," Locke promised her before turning to Danielle, conjuring up some plan of action as Shannon nodded, though part of her was reluctant to be optimistic.

**Down the Hatch**

The door to the storage room crept open. Unlike earlier, the room was now dark, and the three captives inside quiet. Footsteps stepped into the room, and a hand reached for the light.

"Now!" A voice hissed.

A piece of wood came down hard on Callum's head, and the last thing he remembered was seeing numerous colorful stars before hitting the ground.

**In the Jungle**

(Cue music: "I Know" by Jude)

Sawyer walked through the woods ahead of Sayid and Boone, who weren't even out of the hatch by the time he had exited the clearing. He was anxious to get back to Rebecca, and anxious for all this drama to finally come to an end.

**At the Caves**

The castaways at the caves watched as three of their missing fellow survivors returned, all looked exhausted, especially Sawyer, who stumbled into the caves, ignoring the looks he was getting. As he walked through the caves, he met eyes with Jack, who watched as he walked by, though didn't make any move to start up a fight, something Sawyer was grateful for. He needed a break. Sawyer heard his name being called from nearby, and looked around, though he couldn't find the source. The voice sounded so familiar, though at the same time so distant. Maybe he was only imagining things..

"Sawyer!" A voice cried.

Rebecca threw herself at hm, wrapping her arms around his shoulders despite his obvious pain. Then, before he knew what was happening, he was kissing her, right there in from of everyone. And yet, he didn't regret it.

_You've got such a pretty smile._

Across the caves, Kate watched with Jack as Sawyer kissed this woman she didn't know, and felt a pang of jealousy, but not because of not being able to be with Sawyer, but because of their happiness.

_It's a shame the things you hide behind it. _

As she watched she had missed Jack's departure, and ran after him, catching him on the path at the last minute, just before he'd disappear into the jungle. She grabbed Jack's hand, spinning him around, and forced a kiss upon him, remembering Claire's tale of her and Charlie's first kiss. She was grateful when Jack didn't back away too quickly, and personally thought he had perfect timing for breaking the kiss.

_Let um go give it up for a while..._

They stood together in silence for a few moments, looking into each other's eyes, Kate's arms still around Jack's neck.

"Are you sure-" Jack began.

"Yes," Kate cut in immediately.

Jack looked slightly taken aback.

"I want to be happy," Kate said, offering Jack a small smile.

Jack looked at her for a moment, unsure, and then let out a laugh.

"You think I could make you happy?" He said, struggling not to laugh as he grinned.

He wasn't laughing at her, but more like laughing in triumph, in happiness.

_Let um free and we will both go find it. _

Kate nodded.

"Yeah," she said softly, "I do."

Jack held her gaze for another moment before pulling Kate into a hug, holding onto her, never wanting to let go.

**At the Caves**

_I know there's no where you can hide it. _

Alex sat with her mother in the caves. For the first time in the past week, she had taken off Adam's sweatshirt, and was finding herself actually laughing, enjoying herself, something just a few hours ago she thought she'd never be able to do again.

_I know the feeling of alone. _

A few skeletons still lay in her closet, and though it would take a while to move through all the old boxes first, Alex was confident in trying to move passed the past.

_I know that you do not feel invited, _

But even as she was confident in this, things would creep up, reminding her of things, of people. She remembered the man with the leg, and realized that he wasn't even at the caves anymore. They had let him walk free. It was then that she noticed her mother was watching her, waiting for her to reply to some question. Alex forced a fake smile, and laughed though she wasn't even sure anymore what was being talked about.

_But come back, come back in from the cold. _

**At the Beach**

Sayid's eyes scanned the beach, searching for Shannon. He smiled as he spotted her, sitting outside of her tent, a mirror in one hand and makeup brush in the other.

_Step away from the edge. _

He knew that Shannon was savoring her supply of makeup, and only used it when she felt anxious or worried. Wrapped up in carefully applying the mascara, Shannon didn't notice Sayid on the beach until his face appeared on her mirror, smiling from behind her. Spinning to a stand, Shannon threw her arms around Sayid.

_Your best friend in life is not your mirror._

Sayid placed his hand on the makeup, and carefully sat it on top of the mirror on the ground, keeping his eyes on Shannon, who smiled the whole time. She then leaned forward, kissing him until the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted them.

_Back away come back away come back away... _

Shannon turned, embarrassed, to find Boone standing their, looking equally embarrassed. Relieved to see him alive, Shannon threw her arms around him, though quickly let go, remembering Sayid was there.

_I am here and I will be forever and ever and i... _

Together they sat down, and naturally, Shannon began interrogating them. In the middle of her questioning, Shannon mentioned smelling something oddly sweet, and was left in the dark as Boone and Sayid laughed at what appeared to be some inside joke.

_I know that there's no where you can hide it. _

Sawyer and Rebecca laughed as they ate in the caves, recalling the faces of those around them as they had surprised everyone with that kiss.

_I know the feeling of alone. _

They were relieved to be back, and had agreed on staying at the caves for the night. In the morning, they'd move back to the beach, and go from there.

_Trust me and don't keep that on the inside. _

Elsewhere in the caves, a gun was grabbed, bullets were loaded, and feet were soon shuffling down the paths to the caves in what felt like slow motion, one after the other. The feet stopped before reaching the beach, and the barrel of the gun peered through some bushes. The gun moved slowly from left and right until it found its target on the beach.

_Soon you..._

A finger pulled around the trigger tightly, and pulled. The target went down with the shot, and screams erupted from the beach. People ran in different directions, panicking. The eye of the killer lingered on its target and the few who had been brave enough to stay and help it, until finally the gun was brought down, and the killer was welcomed into what would soon become the chaos of the next few days.

_You'll be locked out on your own. _

Boone looked around the beach, the smell of gunpowder heavy in the atmosphere. Shannon was clinging to Sayid, who was desperately trying to calm her down. Leaving the two alone, Boone stepped towards the commotion, and spotted Locke watching the scene as well, which he found odd, since Locke had been missing for days. Yet here he was, alive and well at the scene of the crime.

_You're not alone.._

That night, Rebecca found sleep a difficult thing, unlike Sawyer, who was snoring away across from her. Every time she closed her eyes, she'd hear the monster, or see the man who had kidnapped Sawyer, or remember the fear of being alone in the jungle. Desperate for something to do, Rebecca spotted her book laying beside Sawyer on the ground. Reaching over, she picked it up, and opened to the front cover. There on the page her name was written- her real name. Every now and then Rebecca wondered if that person- Rachel Collier even excised anymore, if she could exist. Then the thought was shaken out of her mind, and Rebecca reminded herself that there was no Rachel Collier anymore. She was dead. Forcing herself to look away, Rebecca open to the first chapter, and as the pages turned, something fell out of the book. She picked the object off the ground, and frowned in confusion when she saw what it was: an envelope dated 1978, with a letter carefully tucked inside.

_You're not alone..._

Sun sat on the beach, unmoving in the panic of the caves. Someone was shouting for Jack, while others continued sobbing and scurrying around, unafraid to go to in the jungle and unafraid to stay all the same. But Sun wasn't afraid. She just sat there, letting the world move around her, and letting whatever was meant to happen, happen. She wasn't sure she cared either way.

_And don't say you've never been told. _

_I'll be with you till we grow old... _

_Till am old grown and i'm cold.. _

That night Boone sat in the caves, writing in a notebook. His mind was elsewhere, and he wasn't entirely sure what he was writing. When he looked down, Boone saw that he had been writing a conversation:

What is it?

**I'm not sure.**

I'm not further beyond the grown..

I'll be with you till we grow up young..

Like a dog you can always come home..

How can you not know?

**I don't think I'm him.**

You're him.

_Pick up a bone.. _

_Look around town baby down town _

_Don't throw me to the pound.. _

_Look around look around..._

What is it?

Suddenly a thought occured to him, and Boone wrote it down:

6 43 45 91 82 63?

There was a pause, and then slowly, the answer came.

That's it.

That's the code.

**Author's Note:** Creepy that is, huh:-p All I have to say is, in the words of Jin, everything's going to change. Big time. Oh, and the skipped time after the murder will be explained next chapter. Thanks so much for the reviews! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

Who was murdered? Who was the murderer? Will Rebecca read Sawyer's letter? And will this change their relationship? All of this and more, coming your way!

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	14. Daughters

In the End

Chapter Fourteen

**Thank you: **Gotta give a quick-late thank you to **Crazyhorsegirl88** for answering all my questions on what different parts of the gun are called, because I'm clueless when it comes to explosions, weapons, ect.

**Disclaimer:** "Hallelujah" was either written by Jeff Buckley or Lenard Cohen. May have gotten the spelling wrong on that one. Anyway, different sites said different things. The version I used for this fic is sung by Anthony Michael Hall, and a recording of it can be found here: Fourteen: Daughters

Boone jolted out of his dream, shooting straight up. He fought to control his balance- and breath- and scooted back against the cave wall. After the day's murder, Jack had instructed for everyone to stay at the caves. Most had agreed to this, feeling the need to stay together, though others were afraid of going into the jungle with a killer on the lose.

Looking around, Boone brushed a hand through his hair and observed the unusually quiet atmosphere of the caves. The largest cave naturally had the largest population, which included Sayid and Shannon, who were sleeping soundless close by, and a little too close together for Boone's liking. Cave regulars were there as well: Alex and Danielle, Jack and Kate, to name a few. Boone took sympathy on Jack, remembering his recent breakup with Kate. It must've been hard for him to be forced to be so close to her. However, he couldn't help but to have noticed throughout the day that the tension between the two had loosened up a bit.

Taking a final look around the caves, Boone noticed one thing off: Locke was missing. Boone hadn't talked to him since returning from the hatch, but he had been meaning to ask Locke what had happened with him since the monster. Stretching, Boone quietly got to his feet, grabbing a jacket he had found in the process. As winter rolled in, the island's nights had been getting colder. Of course, this could also be due to the fact that he had previously spent most of his time in the hatch, and wasn't used to being exposed to such weather conditions- or any weather conditions at all. Sometimes in the hatch, all he would know was if it were sunny, cloudy, day, or night. And of course if it rained. Returning to the camp permanently after so long had it's downsides. Some didn't even remember who he was. Others, like Shannon, continuously pointed out how much paler than the rest of them.

**4 months ago**

_"I think that guys looking at me," Boone said, deep in thought as he stared straight ahead of him, "Shannon, that guy's staring at me!"_

_Shannon rolled her eyes as she crossed out the word 'home' on her word search._

_"Want me to go over there and tell him you already have a boyfriend?" Shannon said with a smirk._

_Boone ignored her, and continued staring at the man who was, in turn, staring back at him or rather, up at him. The man was in a wheelchair, and he had to be in at least his upper forties. _

_"Does he look familiar to you?" Boone asked her._

_Shannon rolled her eyes again._

_"Let's go," she said, pulling Boone along as they crossed over the room, heading towards a small airport coffee shop. "One capechino."_

_She didn't even bother asking Boone if he wanted anything, as she turned to him for money._

_"Okay, where's your credit card?" She demanded._

_Boone looked at her, incredulous._

_"It's a cup of coffee!" He exclaimed. You put coffee on a credit card?"_

_Shannon sighed._

_"Fine, just give me what you have."_

_"I already went to the bank, Shannon," Boone said, "all I've got is some American fives."_

_In front of them, the waiter stood, looking annoyed as they fought._

_"Well then what do you want me to do?" Shannon cried._

_"Send it back!"_

_"I'm sorry Sir," the Australian waiter asked, "if you order it, you have to buy it._

_The waiter smirked to himself as Shannon let out an exasperating sigh and collapsing on the counter. _

_"You know, if you hadn't got drunk-" Boone began._

_"You know, if you weren't such an idiot," Shannon finished for him sarcastically._

_Boone glared at her, not realizing a voice beside them was trying to get his attention. Turning, Boone saw the voice belonged to a foreign woman, maybe Chinese or Korean, whichever it was, she was obviously a native: it didn't seem like she could speak a __word of English. Not wanting to embarrass the woman for not knowing what she wanted, Boone just smiled, nodding, and glanced around. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a man talking desperately on the phone, while who looked like his son sat not far __by, playing a video game. If only he could be that young again. Maybe, Boone thought, if he were given that second chance that maybe he would be able to prevent the mistakes that ended up ruining his life. _

_"Boone, she's trying to give you something!" Shannon said, sounding both irritated and excited._

_Only Shannon could pull off that, Boone added to his thoughts._

_Looking down at his palm, Boone saw that the woman was indeed trying to give him something, and when he looked closer, Boone saw that it was money, money that was still in good use in Australia._

_"Th..thank you," Boone said, dumbfounded._

_The woman smiled at him, and walked back to her line._

_"Um.." Boone said, turning back to the waiter, "here."_

_The waiter nodded, and almost looked disappointed in the fact that he would no longer be able to watch the two bicker. Beside him, Shannon took her drank and began walking back to their seats, without thanking the waiter nor Boone. Sighing, Boone walked a__fter her, dreading the long trip home._

**January 2005**

The cool night breeze hit Boone as soon as he stepped out of the exit of the caves, and into the quiet jungle. It was almost too quiet. Boone wasn't really sure why he had bothered getting up, rather it was to look for Locke, or to try and wear off the shock of his dream. That insane dream- the conversation he was writing, the numbers, the code. Yet as insane as it sound, it all seemed so familiar somehow. Code, the code..where had he heard that before? Suddenly, Boone remembered:

"_The code," the man said suddenly, "do you know the code?"_

_Boone blinked._

"_Code?"_

_His reply came out slightly muffled, as his cheek was laying against the cold, concrete floor below. This was something else Boone found odd about the place: instead of being made of dirt like the caves, the floor to this place was an actual floor, made ou__t of some kind of concrete or stone._

"_The code!" The man exclaimed. "The code! Do you know the code?"_

_Boone searched his mind for a possible solution, and ended up feeling like an idiot. Of course. The code._

"_The four, eight, fifteen thing?" Boone asked, thinking quickly to remember the number sequence._

"_No!" The man hissed. "The code! The one that will..that will.."_

That will what? He was never told. If Boone remembered correctly, it was because he wasn't on a 'need to know basis'. Would having a dream about the code count as that?

"You're out late," a voice commented.

Boone stopped, startled as he almost bumped into Locke.

"Yeah.." Boone said, thinking quickly, "couldn't sleep."

"It's probably not safe being out here alone," Locke advised wisely.

"Yeah, but I know more about this place than anyone, don't I?" Boone said, sounding proud, yet exhausted, as if he carried a hidden burden that was only just now crawling out.

"Good point," Locke smiled.

Locke began walking towards what Boone saw as the path to the caves. This would mean going back the way he came, but Boone was suddenly getting the feeling that he should tell someone about the dreams.

"We found this tunnel," Boone spoke up.

Locke stopped walking, and listened.

"Well, actually," Boone said with a simper, "I did, but Sayid and I went through it."

Boone was looking at the ground as he told the story, but he could still sense Locke's curiosity in the tale.

"And this guy, he came up to us.." Boone stopped, "actually, he knocked me down first, but anyway..he kept repeating stuff, over and over-" Boone waved his hands, expressing the repetition, "and he kept asking me, 'Are you him? Are you him?', and he kept mentioning some code, like he expected me to know it."

"The code on the side of the hatch?" Locke asked.

"No," Boone shook his head, "I didn't know what he was talking about then, but now..I had this dream, and in it, I was writing this conversation in this notebook. It was like the one we had down there, and I didn't know what I was talking about, until suddenly, I began writing these numbers, and it was like I knew them- I knew exactly what I was doing. And then..whoever it was that was talking to me..told me that that..that was the code."

Boone stopped, signaling the ending of his story, and continued to stare at the ground as Locke thought about what he was just told. A headache seemed to be testing his nerves, and Boone was sure that it was nearly as cold as he felt outside. Why didn't he get out more earlier?

"So what are you wanting to do?" Locke said finally.

Boone thought about it.

"Go back down there," Boone decided, "tell Callum what we know."

"Who?" Locke cut in.

"Never mind," Boone sighed.

Locke looked up to the sky, and Boone followed his gaze, curiously, almost expecting to see a page of answers up there. Instead, he found himself staring at only the night's sky.

"Let's wait until morning," Locke suggested, "after the service-" Locke smiled sadly, "I don't think a lot of people around here trust me."

Boone turned to him.

"You think they think you murdered him?" Boone asked, pushing aside his own early suspitions of Locke.

"Plus this guy..Callum," Locke went on, ignoring Boone's comment, "he might not be awake. We wouldn't want to catch him off guard."

He understood Locke's philosophy on needing to go to the funeral- whoever wasn't there would be the first to be blamed for the murder.

"Right," Boone said, nodding in agreement.

To their surprise, Jack was up when they arrived, and it looked like he was already getting a head start on his day.

"Nice night," Locke commented as Boone walked back over to his place against the cave wall, "or should I say morning?"

Jack chuckled.

"You two were out late," Jack said, closing a bottle of Tylenol.

"Headache?" Locke asked.

"Actually," Jack said, switching the hand the two pills were in, "it's for Boone."

Jack handed the medicine to Boone, who looked up at him, surprised.

"I don't need this," Boone protested quickly.

"Shannon said she thought you were sick," Jack explained.

"I'm not sick," Boone proclaimed.

"Just take the medicine," Shannon muttered from nearby.

Locke, Jack, and even Boone, chuckled, and Boone gave in, taking the medicine.

"We were just catching up," Locke said as Jack turned back around.

Boone couldn't help but to think that Locke made them sound like a young couple, and shivered at the thought.

"I meant to ask," Jack said, "where have you been?"

"I got lost," Locke explained simply.

Jack stared at him.

"You don't get lost," Jack said, amazed.

"Everybody gets lost," Locke said wisely.

From where he lay trying to go back to sleep, Boone looked up. Trying to forget the comment(which to both Jack and Boone sounded as though it were said directly to him), Jack shook himself out of his momentary befuddlement.

"Well, I hope you stick around," Jack said, "we're having the funeral tomorrow, for..you know."

"That soon?" Locke said disapprovingly.

"Why?" Jack said. "It's not like we can do any forensic test or anything.

Locke looked like he was about to protest, but instead brought it together, and nodded.

"You're right," Locke said, "and besides, where would he keep him?"

He laughed at his own joke, while Jack could only force a small smile, finding the comment disturbing, once it got right down to it.

"Night John," Jack said after silence settled between them, and walked back towards his cave, finally feeling like he could lay down and sleep.

(space)

_In his dream, the night was dark. Bathed in sweat, Boone looked side to side desperately. Where was he? What had happened? He heard himself breathing loudly, and heard his heart struggle to beat in an appropriate rhythm. Screams. Screams everywhere. And b__lood. Blood too. Everywhere. All over him. The smell of it circulating through the smoky air, making him gag, cough, struggle for breath. His head pounded along with his heart, and Boone tried and failed at picking himself up from the hard, cold ground. A __ground now covered in blood. In the distance, sirens wailed, coming nearer, and nearer. Coming for him. _

_Once again he tried getting to his feet, only to stop and stare at the blood. The blood that covered the ground. The blood that covered the ground because of him. At last he manage to wiggle out of the car, wincing as his skin came across the sharp glass,__ which reflected the blood. The blood that was everywhere. Everywhere because of him. Someone asked if he needed help, while another told him to sit down, to relax. He had just been in an accident. He was going to be okay. But Boone knew the truth. It was__n't an accident and and he wasn't going to be okay. It wasn't an accident, because it was his fault. And it was his fault the blood was everywhere. Another voice told him help was coming, but Boone didn't want it. Instead he turned, running. Running away f__rom what used to be his life. A life that he once hated, but now begged for. A life he would never have again._

"Boone!"

Boone remained silent, almost deathly silent, as he was urgently shaken awake.

"Boone!" The voice said again, this time shaking him harder.

Groaning, Boone reluctantly opened his eyes, and swatted the hand shaking his shoulder away.

"We're going to be late!"

Speaking from her recent clingyness to Sayid, Boone was surprised to find it was Shannon who was waking him up.

"Late?" Boone said in confusion

As he looked around, Boone noticed the cave's atmosphere was darker than usual. Everyone seemed to be in a sullen mood, moving slowly and often bumping into something or someone. Apologies were muttered numerously throughout the caves as the castaways got themselves ready for the day, though noticed that a few were still sleeping. Because of the murder, there were still some who were unwilling to even step out of the caves, while others were itching to move back to the beach. Across from him, Jack and Kate were arguing over who was going to carry the body out, and if Jack should be involved. This was almost expected from the two, as they had spent nearly a half hour debating the issue of digging the grave. Apparently death was a touchy subject for the two.

"The funeral!" Shannon said, exasperated. "You know, for that guy with the leg? The blonde one."

"I know, I know," Boone muttered, getting to his feet to get ready.

In one of the private caves quickly stolen the previous night by Sawyer, Sawyer himself was just awakening, but under very different circumstances. There was a gun pointed at him. Sawyer scooted back quickly at the shock of the moment, but once his eyes started seeing things properly, Sawyer wasn't sure which was more shocking(and frightening): the gun pointed at him, or the person behind the gun- Rebecca.

"What the hell?" Sawyer said in disbelief at the situation.

Behind the gun, Rebecca was shaking uncontrollably. She was having a hard time holding the gun straight, for it was shaking along with her hand. Her face was pale, and her eyes were red from either staring at him like this for a long time, crying, or perhaps both. Sawyer had never seen Rebecca like this, and hardly ever saw someone looking this mad, except on occasion, Jack.

"I found something of yours."

For looking so shaken, Rebecca was doing a good job at keeping control of her voice, as if this was something that she had stayed up all night rehearsing. Sawyer felt something fall into his lap, interrupting his thoughts, but when he saw what the object was, his eyes widened in horror. It was his letter, the letter to the real Sawyer.

"Who are you?" Rebecca said, her voice only now beginning to shake.

Sawyer realized then the hurt and betrayal Rebecca must've been feeling right now. She didn't know the story.

"And this time, I want the truth," she added.

"Hey guys, Jack wanted me to tell you that-"

Hurley stopped at the entrance to the caves, seeing Sawyer at gunpoint.

"Is..everything okay?" Hurley said, sounding nervous.

"Fine," Rebecca said, exhaling a long-held breath as she blew a loose strand of hair out of her face. "I just need to talk to him."

Hurley raised an eyebrow.

"Okay..just, don't forget about the funeral."

"I won't," Rebecca promised, and Hurley left.

She never took her eyes off Sawyer as she turned back to him, waiting for Sawyer to tell his story.

"Fine," Sawyer grunted, "when I was eight my mom had an affair with a guy who turned out to be a con man-" he spoke quickly, wanting to get the confession over with, "he robbed us clean, and when my daddy found out, he killed my mom and then himself." He stared coldly into Rebecca's eyes, and could feel her now mixed emotions radiating back to him, "Satisfied?"

All that could be heard was the sound of Rebecca's slow, deep, breaths. At last Rebecca lowered the gun, putting the safety back on before putting it down beside her. For a moment Sawyer thought about stealing the gun and rounding on her, but decided against it. He didn't want to worsen things between them.

"I'm sorry," Rebecca said softly.

Now her eyes were full of guilt, and even worse, sympathy. Sawyer hated sympathy. Yet he didn't take his eyes off Rebecca's as she sank to the ground across from him.

"Yeah," Sawyer thought quickly for a comeback, but his mind failed him, "well, you wanted to know."

Rebecca looked down, obviously to avoid his gaze.

"We don't have to go to the funeral," Rebecca said quietly to the ground.

"Nah, we should," Sawyer said.

Though they both agreed on going, neither made a move towards leaving. Sawyer was too wrapped up in his thoughts to move. He wasn't sure how he felt, which was making the moment uncomfortable. Part of him was relieved Rebecca knew, while the other part hated that she knew. He guessed that for some wild reason, he had thought that not telling Rebecca would just allow the past melt and become nothing more than a forgotten memory buried somewhere in the corner of his mind.

"We shouldn't be late," Rebecca said, interrupting his thoughts.

"Yeah," Sawyer muttered in agreement.

As he got to his feet, a thought occurred to him.

"So where'd you get the gun?" He inquired.

Rebecca stopped. Knowing she wouldn't answer, Sawyer brushed by her, and whispered into her ear:

"Looks like I'm not the only one with secrets."

(space)

"Tell me you're not blaming this one on yourself," Kate said playfully from behind Jack as the funeral crowd departed.

Jack chuckled.

The funeral had been nice enough, silent though, since no one could seem to recall ever talking to the guy. They were lucky to even know a name, thanks to Claire and Kate's earlier curiosity. Charlie had said a quick speech, and they had buried him. Just like that. Why were horrible things like this becoming so much easier to deal with? Each death would hit him hard at first, but then Jack would remind himself that things like this happened, and life would go on. He didn't think of himself as cold-hearted, but more like experienced..with death. Each time they became easier to deal with, which Jack supposed was a good thing, but at the same time, he'd feel guilty for it. Death was hard, but as time went on, well, so did life.

"No," he said, shaking his head, "I was just wondering which one of us would do something like that..could do something like that. I mean, why-"

"I've killed before, Jack," Kate reminded.

Jack turned to her, and noticed that Kate was getting that same look in her eye as she always did whenever she or someone else mentioned her past. That same sad, haunted look.

"Just..look at it this way," Kate said, changing the subject, "who's the only person who wasn't at the funeral?"

Though he had looked around the beach a dozen times before, studying each and every castaway's presence and behavior, this time he saw the scene in a new light. Kate was right, there was indeed only one person who hadn't came to the burial, and Jack couldn't remember seeing them in the caves earlier. Beside him, Kate nodded.

"Don't be too hard on them," Kate advised, "we're not murderers."

Jack pondered Kate's comment as he hurried down the path to the caves. She was right, they weren't murderers, yet one of them was just killed. Shot by one of them. The others were gone, and there wasn't any evidence of there being another group on the island. Even if there was, why would they randomly choose their target like that? Where would they have gotten the weapon? Why were they so confident in not being caught? Would they even have known the land? The killer seemed to be either very gifted in the craft, very careful, or had some way of knowing the exact position to be at, the fact that no one would be there to catch them, as if they had foreseen it..

"Alex Rousseau!" Jack yelled as he burst into the main caves.

There was no answer as Jack stormed through the camp, searching every cave until he found who he was looking for. She was sitting alone in a cave Jack had never been in before, staring sadly at the ground as she sat on a rock, arms thrown lazily over her knees. Jack stopped when he saw the state she was in, and immediately felt guilty for barging in like this.

"So have you come to accuse me of murder?" Alex asked, acknowledging Jack's presense. "Maybe tie me up, let Sayid question me? I heard what you guys did to Sawyer."

"I didn't come to accuse you of anything," Jack lied.

"Whatever," Alex muttered.

There were very few times when Alex actually acted as young as she was, but when she made comments like this, it would show. Jack was just thinking of what to say when Alex covered for him.

"He killed him..Adam," she began quietly, "and he wanted me to watch..watch him kill him-" Alex sniffled, trying to stop herself from crying, "but this other guy, he wouldn't let him, so they blindfolded me, and then they..killed them."

'Them?' Jack thought to himself, but decided not to interfere with her story.

"And when I came back, and I saw him walking with everyone else, getting to live free," Alex shook her head, "I knew I couldn't let that happen."

Alex's head was down, and she was speaking almost directly to the floor. Jack felt bad for her, and didn't like always being in the position to make someone feel like they had to confess whatever secrets they held. Cautiously, Jack took a step forward, thinking of what to say, when Alex covered for him, continuing her story. As she did, Alex stood up, and began walking towards the wall, where she stopped, her back to Jack.

"I went out with Sawyer yesterday, to help him look for his friend-"

"Rebecca?" Jack asked without realizing he was interrupting.

Alex nodded.

"It started to rain," she went on, "we got separated and..and I saw him."

Jack's eyebrows furrowed, wondering who she was talking about. As she continued, Jack concluded that she was talking about the one man Alex dreaded ever mentioning in conversation, yet the one man that would haunt her memories forever: Kyle.

"He started walking towards me," Alex continued, voice barely above a whisper.

Alex then stopped talking, and Jack felt a sick feeling develop inside of him. He just felt so mad, angered, furious with the world right now and what it was doing to her, the same feeling that he had towards Kate when he learned of her past.

"Did he hurt you?" Jack finally forced himself to ask.

Alex didn't answer right away, which scared Jack, but at last she spoke up.

"No," she whispered, shaking her head, "but I think..I think he wanted to."

She paused, maybe expecting Jack to say something, but he didn't thing 'I'm glad' would help the moment any.

"He talked to me," Alex continued quietly, "he said..he said he had been looking for me, that he knew I wouldn't leave him."

Alex didn't offer any more after that. Distantly, Jack could hear people coming back to the caves, and feared that if they weren't careful, someone would come in and find out what happened. After learning her reasons, Jack felt the need to keep the killer's identity secret. Suddenly Alex let out a sob.

"I just wanted it to be over," she said through tears that were pouring out too fast for Alex to stop, "I needed it to be over. I just want to get better."

Jack's heart fell at Alex's confession. Once again Jack took a sympathetic step forward, this time knowing what he was going to say. He had heard doctors and clinical psychiatrist repeat the same speech all his life, and had made a point to memorize it himself, though he had hoped he'd never have to use it. Comforting wasn't his greatest expertise, but he could improv something if needed. This time, however, and with many times before with Kate, Jack felt that more than the typical 'not your fault' speech was deserved.

"Nothing's wrong with you, Alex," Jack began, "everything that's happened to you-" he tried to pick his words carefully, "it's not fair. And now your stuck on an island, where you're forced to trust the only people there to help you, and that's gotta be hard."

He was relieved when he noticed Alex had stopped sobbing. She wiped her eyes, and then turned towards Jack.

"Thanks," she said quietly, "I needed that."

Jack offered her a smile, which Alex tried and failed to return. Suddenly she hugged him, catching Jack by surprise. Jack had no choice but to accept the hug, and gave Alex a reassuring pat on the back. As Alex began to cry softly into his shoulder, Jack realized that they were on the verge of crossing that line between friends and, well..they were practically father and daughter, and if that scared him, it'd sure scare the hell out of Alex, and he didn't even want to start thinking of Danielle. Still they had that bond, and Jack couldn't help but to feel the need to protect Alex like a daughter, though he knew it wasn't his job; and this point really hit him hard when he looked up and noticed that Danielle had accidentally stepped into the scene, and was standing frozen by the door, a look of both fury and jealousy on her face. It was then that Alex let go, and Danielle was quick to step out of the picture.

"Thanks again," she said, and looked down, blushing a little, "sorry about that."

"Don't be," Jack said quickly.

Alex abruptly looked up from the ground, eyes darting towards the cave entrance. She frowned, and Jack knew she had somehow seen Danielle standing there.

"No offense," Alex said, still staring at the door frame, "but..can you go?"

Jack raised an eyebrow, though decided not to question her request. After all, she was the psychic, and if she thought something should happen, then it must need to happen.

"Sure," Jack said with a nod, "are you going to be okay?"

"Fine," Alex said quickly.

She seemed to be in a hurry to get Jack out.

"I won't tell anyone," Jack promised, "about the murder."

"Thanks," Alex said, and then let out a snort, "I feel like I'm in some Agatha Christie book. Next thing you know we'll find some old poem and little Indian dolls."

"Just yell if you need anything," Jack said with a chuckle as he left.

Most of the castaways were back at the caves when Jack entered, and he noticed Danielle's cold gaze following him everywhere he went. The gaze was almost eerie with hatred, and Jack shivered as he disappeared into the crowds, following the distant outline of Kate until he reached her on the other side of the caves.

(space)

Danielle turned her glare off Jack as she turned back to the caves. It wasn't that she wasn't glad there was someone willing to be their for her daughter, it was just that she wished she could be that person. Yesterday she was sure she had fixed their relationship, but now the change was like day and night. Something had happened that turned Alex back into this hollow form of depression, and Danielle intended to find out just what had happened.

"Hi," she greeted as she stepped into the cave Alex was in.

"Hi," Alex echoed.

She noticed that between the short time that Jack had left and the time that she had arrived at the cave, Alex had managed to find a notebook and found something to write in it.

"I just saw Jack," Danielle said, careful not to make it too obvious that she was trying to read what Alex was writing, "were you talking to him?"

"So what if I was," Alex said hotly, and erased something she had just written, "since when is it a sin to talk to Jack?"

"It's not," Danielle said quickly, "I was just thinking that we could talk, like you and Jack do."

Alex rolled her eyes.

"Would you mind?" She asked. "I'm trying to write something."

Danielle knew that she should respect her daughter's privacy, but at the same time was outraged at the way she was acting. Why couldn't she just tell her what was going on?

"Where were you today?" She asked. "You weren't at the funeral."

"I felt sick."

The quick reply told Danielle that Alex was lying through her teeth.

"You looked fine this morning," Danielle challenged.

"I was sick!" Alex exclaimed, shooting Danielle an incredulous look. "God, would you just leave me alone?"

Danielle crossed her arms, hurt.

"Why would you rather talk to Jack than me?" Danielle inquired.

Alex slammed her pencil down against the notebook.

"I don't know," she said, exasperated with a hint of sarcasm, "maybe it's because for one, Jack's willing to talk. Maybe it's because he doesn't judge me, or anyone else for that matter. Or maybe it's because when I mention something like Jerry Seinfield or _Law and Order_, he'll know what I'm talking about. He can understand me."

Alex meet Danielle's eyes with a glare, as if saying 'beat that'. Of course, Danielle had no clue who or what Alex was talking about, but Danielle still felt the need to argue her point. But as she tried to think of what to say, Danielle began to understand. Talking to Danielle would be like talking to someone who just popped in from the Dark Ages. The last show Danielle remembered watching on tv was_ Cheers_, though she couldn't name an American actor to save her life. To Alex, talking to her must be, well, boring. Danielle understood this, but it didn't make up for the jealousy or anger. After all, none of this was her fault.

"Do you think I want to be here?" Danielle said, speaking her mind. "Do you think I asked to be crashed here?"

Alex looked down in what could've been guilt.

"When we crashed I was so afraid that something would happen to you," Danielle said, voice becoming a little unsteady, "and then they came, and took you."

Alex's face remained down, but Danielle knew she was listening, and was glad.

"And I looked for you," Danielle continued, "I looked for you for _years_. And when I couldn't find you, it felt like a part of me was missing- a part of me was lost. When I learned that you were here-" Danielle shook her head, "it sounds selfish, but I was so relieved. But when you don't talk to me, when you shut me out..that part of me feels empty again. It sounds-" Danielle searched for the word, "crazy, but I've been here for sixteen years. I just want my life back."

When Alex didn't say anything after a few moments, Danielle turned to leave. Maybe Alex just didn't want to have anything to do with her. Danielle could hardly blame her, after disowning Alex like she choose to do so long ago, if in her shoes, Danielle probably wouldn't of wanted anything to do with her either.

"Wait, Mom," Alex said, calling after her.

Danielle turned, surprised at being addressed as such.

"I'm sorry," Alex said sincerely, "you don't have to go."

Taking up the offer, Danielle took a seat beside Alex, and found herself not hardly surprised when neither had a thing to say. Remembering her earlier curiosity as to what Alex was writing, Danielle looked down, reading as Alex wrote, which turned out to be a song. She expected to get yelled at, but no accusation came.

"That's good," Danielle commented, "the song."

"Thanks," Alex said, shrugging simply, "I used to write a lot with Adam, back in New York."

Danielle nodded in understanding.

"And you lived with my brother?" She said, recalling earlier conversations.

"Yeah," Alex replied.

"How's he doing?" Danielle asked.

"Good," Alex said thoughtfully, and put her pencil down, "he's a grave digger."

Danielle let out a laugh.

"He was always jealous of me," she said proudly, "though he would never admit it. I was always the smart one, but he claimed that should be the son's expertise."

"Sounds familiar," Alex snorted.

They sat in silence for a few moments as Alex tried to think of something else to write in her song. Danielle glanced over towards her notebook again, this time really reading into it, absorbing the lyrics and meanings. The song seemed dark, though it wasn't unexpected, and Danielle noticed that some of the verses seemed to relate directly to the island itself. Towards the end, the song grew even darker, if possible, like an Edgar Allen Poe poem, and soon came apart about murder. Murder and keeping secrets, Danielle saw. And then she understood. It all seemed to piece together now.

"Did you kill him?" Danielle asked, looking up at Alex. "The one they just buried. Did you kill him?"

(cue music, "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley, as song by Anthony Michael Hall)

Alex met her eyes, looking completely afraid. She began shaking, and Danielle was sure that at any moment a confession would burst out of her.

_Well I heard there was a secret chord_

_that David played and it pleased the Lord_

_But you don't really care for music, do you?_

Instead, Alex stood up, grabbing her bag and the notebook, and fled from the cave. It was only shortly after that Danielle realized that was the confirmation she had been looking for; the answer to her question.

_Well it goes like this:_

_The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift_

_The baffled king composes Hallelujah_

Now on the beach, Jack and Kate were talking, or at least Jack was. He was telling some story to Kate, who laughed along with him as he waved his hands wildly to express the humor. Though she never told him straight out, she really admired Jack, especially since he seemed so unafraid. Kate couldn't see how he could be so fearless with all that was going on, with the island, her, and it was comforting. She knew that along as Jack could laugh it off, so could she.

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

Sun needed to get away. Staying at the beach wasn't helping her, so she had taken the path to the caves, carrying her single bag of luggage with her. Now that she was there, however, and was forced to watch the hustle, bustle, and laughter of the everyday life here, Sun wasn't sure she could go through with it. But there was still some unseen force that kept her there, and though she didn't know where that courage was coming from, she could've sworn she saw Jin standing on the other side of the caves, smiling at her through the crowd.

_Well your faith was strong but you needed proof_

_You saw her bathing on the roof_

_Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you_

Sayid and Shannon laughed as they walked down the beach, hand in hand, just like any young tv couple in love, and they were indeed, in love. Every now and then images of Nadia would come back into mind, and even dreams of the long ago days of war, and a small pit of doubt would form inside Sayid. But then every time he saw Shannon, and was able to make her smile, make her laugh, that doubt changed.

_She tied you to her kitchen chair_

_She broke your throne and she cut your hair_

_And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_

And as for Boone, he wasn't sure what he wanted. From the other side of the beach he watched Shannon and Sayid, as if he were stalking them. Maybe he was. No matter how many times he told both Shannon and himself that he was over there, the 'what if' game came back to mind, but then so would the past. Could a few smiles and hear-to-hearts make up for years of lies? And was he really going to sit by and let everything that happened between them be for nothing? Because there were a few times when the two could really connect, bringing out the better part of their relationship than the usual disdain. But Shannon really did seem happy with Sayid, and deep down, he knew nothing could change that, and he knew that eventually he'd have to move on.

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah _

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

Back in the caves, Danielle found herself alone. She was wondering how it was that Alex would run from the truth whenever she was questioning her, but if it were Jack, and maybe sometimes even Sayid, Alex would be willing to confess. Did her daughter really trust her that less?

_Well Baby I've been here before_

_I've seen this room, and I've walked this floor, _

_You know I used to live alone before I knew you_

Needing a breath of air, Danielle stepped out, running right into Locke, who was immediately able to detect that something was wrong. Danielle normally couldn't stand people with that ability, as it could grow annoying when someone would constantly offer sympathy, though this time it seemed different. She wasn't blind to the similarities between Locke and herself, and wasn't even in denial over it, she just had this tendency of being afraid of the future, since the future hadn't been something she needed to worry about for years. But if Locke were to pull her aside, or ask if something was wrong, she knew she'd talk to him, and Danielle found herself hoping Locke would say something now.

_And I've seen your flag on the marble arch_

_But love is not a victory march_

_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

Claire sat in the sand, watching the waves as they came in. Suddenly, cold hands came down on her shoulders, and Claire shivered, but relaxed when she saw it was only Charlie. When Christopher had been hanging around with him, Claire had admittedly been jealous that Charlie wasn't with her, but now she couldn't exactly act as if though she were pleased the guy was dead. Claire had never wanted him dead in the first place. But what had happened happened, and now it was back to the two of them. She looked over at Charlie, who's usual smile was faded, and Claire realized how selfish she was being. Feeling the need to take Charlie's usual role as the shoulder to cry on, Claire offered him a small smile. Charlie forced one back, and leaned forward, kissing her.

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah _

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

Hurley walked passed Rebecca and Sawyer as they left the caves, the bags they had brought with them. He offered them a smile, which Rebecca had returned, but Sawyer hadn't even noticed.

_Maybe there is a God above_

_But all I've ever learned from love_

_Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you_

Sawyer had tried his best to keep his past hidden from Rebecca, but he should've known that in this place that would've been impossible, and now the two had to deal with it. He didn't want a relationship built off of pity, though he didn't want one. Rebecca was different from many of the women he had ever dated, one reason being that through all the trouble he had gotten himself in, she still stayed with him. Even after learning of his criminal past, she was still there. But Sawyer didn't want that to interfere with their relationship, like it would often to with him and Kate. He didn't want the looks of pity, or hearts-to-hearts. So when he passed the thickest patch of jungle they had walked by, Sawyer had made up his mind. Stopping, he reached into his back pocket, withdrawing his letter. He felt Rebecca's eyes watch him as he looked at it one last time before balling it up- envelope and all- into his fist and thrusting it deep into the jungle, where it could never be found. Sawyer stood there, letting the moment of regret sink in, but only for a moment, and then continued on before the normal sympathetic hand reached out for his shoulder.

_And it's not a cry that you hear at night_

_It's not somebody who's seen the light_

_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

Hours after her escape, Alex ran back into the caves, in search for her mother. She realized how silly it was to keep this from her, it wasn't as if she'd tell anyone. The guilt would just eat her up until she finally exploded, and Alex wanted to make sure she never reached that point.

Alex burst into the cave she was in before, only to find it empty. Her mother had left. No note, not that she had expected one, and no message from another castaway telling where she was. In her mind, Alex was unable to see where to find her. Instead, a whirlwind of mixed emotions came over her: fear, loneliness, hopefulness, happiness. Irony was laying heavily on the moment. Determined her mother would come back for her, Alex entered the caves, sinking to the ground shortly after. When would this all make sense? What was she supposed to do? Who was she supposed to go to? Most importantly, when would this end? When would she be able to have her life back? Tears began to form in her eyes as she realized that she wouldn't. Her old life was dead, buried in songbooks hidden in the attic. She had a new life now, and she just hoped it was worth fighting for.

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

**Author's Note:** Okay, at this point, I need yall's opinions:

1. Am I writing too many song endings? Do you like the song endings? Do they seem to fit in with the chapter(the song) or do they just seemed pulled out of nowhere?

2. What do you guys think about Alex? Do you like her? Do you think I'm writing too much or too less of her? Do you think she's taking over "screen time" of others?

Just so you guys know, I am planning on focusing on more of the characters. I have a plot to do with Charlie and Claire, and I'm trying to think of something to do with Sun. And there is Jate to look forward to, though times are about to turn dark..er..darker. Thanks so much for the reviews! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

I'm not sure exactly what's happening next, but someone's getting haunted. Maybe the past isn't so easy to let go of after all.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	15. Friends and Lovers

In the End

Chapter Fifteen

**Thank you:** To **Crazyhorsegirl88** for help with the boar-hunting info. stuff. :D

**Chapter Fifteen: **Friends and Lovers

"Home sweet home," Sawyer said, stretching as he set his bag down on the sand.

Sitting her bags down as well, Rebecca wrapped her arms around herself tightly, shivering as a cool breeze swept over the island.

"So I guess this is where we part," Rebecca said, looking around the beach.

A woman she didn't know smiled at them as they passed. Sawyer growled at her.

"Sawyer!" Rebecca exclaimed.

"What?" Sawyer grunted.

Rebecca just rolled her eyes, smiling as she looked back towards the ocean. It just felt so good to be back. The beach was so much more welcoming than the caves, in Rebecca's opinion, and she knew Sawyer felt the same way. The fresh air, the smell of the ocean, the sound of the crashing waves. It was the only thing that had kept her (and secretly, Sawyer too) sane during the first few months on the island. She was thrilled to be back, and all she wanted to do was stretch out on the sand, and let the ocean put her to sleep.

"I'll see you around then," Rebecca said to Sawyer, and picked up her backpack, throwing it over her shoulder.

"You ain't sticking around, Sweetheart?" Sawyer said with a smirk. "I have to say I feel insulted. Especially after that whole saving your life thing."

Rebecca smiled to herself before turning back to Sawyer. How did she see this coming?

"First of all," Rebecca said, pointing an accusing finger in Sawyer's face, "I saved your life first. Second, while I was laying there helpless in the jungle, you were off running around with some teenager."

Sawyer let out a cough.

"Excuse me?" He said.

"Yeah," Rebecca shot, "so you better think twice before you talk about who owes who a favor."

Rebecca spun around gracefully with a wink that put a frown on Sawyer's face. Secretly he didn't want Rebecca to go, and was horrified of the thought that nothing would ever come out of their relationship.

"Hey!" Sawyer called after her, running to catch up with Rebecca.

Interested in what Sawyer wanted, Rebecca turned around.

"You scared of somethin'?" Sawyer inquired.

"Excuse me?" Rebecca said, mocking Sawyer's tone from earlier.

"You're scared of me," Sawyer accused.

Rebecca let out an incredulous laugh, pulling a strand of hair away from her face as she looked around.

"What gives you that idea?" She said, sounding furious.

"You're afraid of being with me," Sawyer said, smirking with pleasure.

"Yeah," Rebecca said sarcastically, "right. What, do you think I'm afraid you'll turn me into some pigtail, overall wearing, cowgirl hillbilly?"

"Come to think of it," Sawyer said slyly, "you wouldn't look half bad in overalls."

"You're disgusting," Rebecca replied bitterly.

"Just an observation," Sawyer shrugged.

Rebecca rolled her eyes and turned away.

"I know what your afraid of," Sawyer said, in a much more lower, serious, tone than before, "you're afraid you're getting yourself into something you don't know you really want to be apart of. You're afraid this will all go wrong and blow up in your face. You're so worried about what could happen that you're afraid of just goin' for it."

"Well sorry if I'm not the 'just goin' for it' kind of girl," Rebecca retorted.

"You were one of those girls who took their cousins to the prom, weren't you?" Sawyer accused playfully. "Bet you didn't go to homecoming either."

"You know why I don't want to be with you," Rebecca exclaimed, spinning around, suddenly furious, "because I know guys like you! You're the kind of guy who will butter a girl up, make her feel special. Buy her dinner, maybe a nice ring. Then give it a week or two, and you disappear. No note. No goodbye. You're experts at breaking hearts."

She held Sawyer's gaze for a beat, and a clear past of heart aces and betrayal glared back at him. At last Rebecca looked down. This was obvious this was something Rebecca had been wanting to let out for quiet some time, and the worst part was that it hit so close to home. He had never thought about how it must feel to be the one to get left, he never let himself think about it. To see it thrown back at him by someone like Rebecca, Sawyer could admit that he was disgusted with himself. The pressure was on Sawyer now, and he knew that he had to be the one to prove Rebecca's theory about him, even though it would be difficult for the both of them.

"I'll make you a deal," Sawyer said at last, "I want you to stay with me, but you obviously have some major trust issues. So let's just take this for a..trial run. You give me a night, and by the morning, if you still think I'm a no good rotten scoundrel, then you can be on your merry way."

Rebecca didn't reply, but Sawyer could tell she had been listening.

"Hell, we don't even have to do anything," Sawyer went on, "for all I care we sit there and stare at each other all night."

As she considered Sawyer's proposal, Rebecca bit her lip.

"Okay," she finally agreed, "one night."

"One night," Sawyer nodded, and shook her hand with a firm grip.

(space)

"Jack!" Kate called, approaching Jack in the caves.

Jack stopped what he was doing, and turned around. The day had been hectic, with a fair share of people still on edge about the murder, and the brief disappearance of the monster making everyone both nervous and anxious. Between reassuring people that if they stepped outside they wouldn't be swallowed whole, and lying about fake plans for a fake search party for whoever could be out there, Jack was not only already exhausted while the day was still young, but hadn't been able to see Kate all morning. Jack couldn't help but to be pleased with Kate's perfect timing of coming to see him: he had been on the verge of telling everyone to just shut up for hours.

"Hey," Jack said, smiling as Kate walked up to him.

"Busy day?" Kate asked, looking around the caves.

"You can say that," Jack replied.

"Do you have time for a break?" Kate asked hopefully.

Jack looked down at his wrist, as if checking the time, grinning broadly.

"Think I deserve an early lunch break?" Jack asked playfully.

"Definitely," Kate said, nodding confidently.

"So where are we going?" Jack asked, hoping that Kate was planning on rescuing him from the crowded, nerve-wracking caves.

"That," Kate began with a mischievous grin, "is for me to know and you to find out."

Kate winked at him, and motioned for Jack to follow her. Having no other choice, Jack shook his head, though he was still smiling as he followed Kate out.

(space)

So far the day was cool, with a clear sky above them. Like any day, Charlie and Claire had spent most of their day on the beach, enjoying the sun and waves, but today, unlike most other days, Charlie noticed that Claire seemed much more sullen than normal.

"Want to go for a walk?" Charlie asked after sitting with Claire for almost a half hour in silence.

Claire didn't respond. Charlie couldn't be sure that she even heard him. After awhile a distant look had developed in Claire's eye, and she just sat there, ignoring the world around her- including Charlie.

"Want to see if there's any fruit left at the caves?" Charlie tried.

Still no reply.

"Hey I heard this giant bird just landed in the valley and left a pile of chicken legs," Charlie said, "weird, huh?"

"Would you please just go away?" Claire begged, voice uneven.

Charlie was surprised but pleased to hear Claire's voice, but wasn't please to hear her speak as though she was on the verge of tears.

"Are you okay?" Charlie asked, looking at Claire in concern.

Reaching up, Charlie cautiously pulled a loose strand of hair away from Claire's face, but not cautiously enough. Charlie's hand was quickly swatted away, and tears began to form in Claire's eyes. All Charlie do was sit there, hopeless, as he wondered what he was supposed to do.

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" Charlie wanted to know desperately.

"Fine," Claire said in a huff, "I just had this dream all right. It really bothered me."

Charlie hesitated before responding.

"What was it about?" He asked carefully.

Claire didn't respond, and for a moment Charlie was afraid she never would.

"I was in this place," Claire began, "I think it was on the island, but I'm not sure."

As she revealed the dream to Charlie, Claire could see it replaying in her mind, as it had done so many times that morning.

"It was this room," Claire went on, "and there was this heart monitor, and bed, and crib.."

Charlie cringed, knowing where this was going.

"And in the crib was this baby," a ghost of a smile crept upon Claire's face, "it was my baby Charlie- he was my baby. I know it."

"Claire-" Charlie began.

"I mean, why else would I be dreaming about babies, right?" Claire said rhetorically.

She looked up at Charlie, her eyes meeting his.

"My baby's alive, Charlie," Claire finished, "I know he is."

Charlie knew there would be no convincing Claire otherwise. And besides, it was just a dream, right?

"How do you know it's a boy?" Charlie asked instead of negating Claire.

Claire snorted.

"Well Charlie, in the human anatomy-"

Charlie's eyes widened when he realized his stupidity.

"Never mind," he said quickly.

Claire let out a laugh.

After sitting all day with Claire, who was lost in her own world, it felt good to hear her laugh. He didn't want to rain on Claire's parade, reminding her of the harsh realities of the present, but he didn't want to lead her to false hope either.

"He's out there somewhere," Claire said, looking up towards the sky, "I can feel it-" she turned back to Charlie, "-and I want to find him. I need to find my baby."

Claire's eyes were suddenly filled with a desperate pleading, and Charlie knew what she was really trying to say. She wanted to go look for him, and she wanted Charlie to help. He knew it would do no good to tell Claire they couldn't, all that would do would lead Claire to sneaking off in the middle of the night, so Charlie said the only thing he knew to:

"All right," he agreed, though Claire hadn't asked the favor, "we'll go look for him-"

Charlie looked around.

"I mean, I don't know where," he said lightly, "it's not like a baby's just going to crawl out of Sawyer's stash or-"

He was cut off abruptly as Claire threw her arms around him.

"Thank you," she said through tears of joy.

A pit of guilt was already growing inside Charlie, and though he knew they were surely heading for a let down, Charlie still replied a "Your welcome" to Claire, praying this would turn out for the better.

5 months earlier

_"Are you sure you two don't need any help?" The cab driver asked._

_"We're fine," Claire promise the driver._

_"Watch your step," Claire's friend Beth warned as she helped Claire over the curve._

_Once on the sidewalk, the two looked up at the airport in front of them as the cab drove away._

_"Well this is it," Claire said, feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement._

_"Are you sure you want to do this?" Beth asked her for the hundredth time that day. "You could always turn back."_

_"I know," Claire replied, "come on."_

_The airport was busier than Claire remembered it being the last time she was there. Then again, that was almost ten years ago, back when she and her mother got along._

_"Claire," Beth sang into her ear._

_"Right," Claire nodded._

_"Now you know since you're pregnant, you can demand special attention on the plane," Beth said, sounding thrilled about this, "and they have to listen, because your hormones just might accidentally become outraged and sue them-" Claire raised an eyebrow, "-so don't be afraid to ask for anything."_

_"Okay," Claire promised._

_They walked across the airport, Beth dragging Claire's bag along with them. Claire took the time to look around, observing the behavior of the people at the airport. This included everything from a couple arguing to a young man who had lost his ticket._

_"Here we are," came Beth's voice, breaking into her thoughts, "boarding gate for flight 815."_

_Claire glanced up at the flight attendant who was seated at a post, reading a book. Looking closely, Claire saw the book was called Another Life. She shivered as she remembered the psychic's eerie warning: "Your baby can not be raised by another"._

_"You okay?" Beth asked._

_"Yeah," Claire lied._

_She felt guilty about not telling Beth about the warning, but a voice inside her was telling Claire she shouldn't tell. At that time Claire noticed a man who was maybe in his thirties enter, dressed as though he were ready for a funeral. He thanked a blonde woman, exchanging a quick hug with her. Claire knew it was rude to stare, but for some reason she found the couple interesting. As the woman let go, Claire noticed she handed the man something that could've been a photograph. Instead of looking at it, he stuffed it inside his jacket pocket, and then thanked the woman for the ride to the airport. Then the woman handed him what looked like a ticket, and a long argument over rather or not the man should accept it followed._

_"You know," Claire said, "I think I'm going to go get something to it."_

_"All right," Beth nodded, and looked down at her watch, "well, I have an appointment. Will you be okay on your own?"_

_The knot of nerves from earlier tightened, and suddenly Claire knew that this was the real thing. She was flying to LA nine months pregnant, alone and unsupervised. But Claire could only imagine the things the psychic would have to say if he knew she was receiving help, and he seemed too much like the real thing for Claire's liking._

_"Yeah," Claire lied._

_"Okay then," Beth said, and offered Claire a smile, "good luck..and no going off to elope. I have to be there at least for the wedding."_

_Claire laughed._

_"Don't worry," she promised._

_With a wave Beth left, leaving Claire praying that she had made the right decision._

5 months later

Jack and Kate walked most of the way towards the beach in silence. They had each taken the path so many times that they didn't even need to look up, leaving them both to watch their feet as they walked.

"So are you going to tell me what we came out here to do?" Jack finally asked.

Kate smiled.

"We're going boar hunting," Kate replied.

Jack choked on the breath he was taking. Kate just kept smiling.

"Are you serious?" Jack asked her, incredulous.

"Yep."

In one swift movement, Kate pulled out a hunting knife that had been sitting in a hook that Jack hadn't noticed had been hanging on Kate's belt loop.

"Kate, we don't have enough time to-"

"It's not like we've run off to pick flowers in the mountain," Kate said, rolling her eyes, "boar's something we need. Boar hunting is productive work."

"Except for the part about sneaking out," Jack pointed out.

"You worry to much," Kate said wisely.

Jack laughed.

"Come on," Kate said, "we're going inland."

"Inland?" Jack echoed.

Kate nodded.

"The boar don't want to be hunted," she pointed out, "they won't be anywhere near here-" Kate turned onto a trail Jack had never taken before, "then again, with Locke and Boone not bringing anything back for weeks, they may be heading back."

"Something tells me your plans not going to go as brilliantly as you think," Jack looked quickly to Kate, "no offense."

"You just have no self confidence," Kate accused.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"I went out to search for the best trails yesterday," Kate continued as she broke off the tip of a bush branch, "we need easy trails. If we get anything, we don't want to be lugging it around all afternoon."

"To be a vegetarian you seem to know a lot about boar hunting," Jack commented.

Kate stopped, and that same distant smiled Jack had grown used to in the early days on the island came back to Kate's face.

"My dad used to talk about hunting with my grandpa all the time," Kate said, "I remember I always wanted to be just like him, and after he..died, I was determined to be, no matter what it took. It was like..making up for lost time knowing his spirit was around me."

Jack studied Kate. So that's why Kate was always the first to sign up for all hunts and search parties, as Jack had pointed out to her during their first days of the island.

"I just like being in the woods," Kate shrugged, "it's like it's part of me."

Kate grew quiet after that, and looked up the path ahead of them.

"We're wasting daylight," she said, "we should go."

Part of Jack wanted to ask Kate more about her father, but the other part knew he shouldn't.

"Right," he agreed, and followed her.

They appeared to be the only ones in the jungle as they walked on, but when Kate turned paths again, the theory was proven wrong. Boone ran right into them. For a moment, he just stared at Jack and Kate.

"I was just heading back to camp," Boone explained, "Locke and I were out hunting-" he pointed behind him signaling where they had been, "and..yeah."

Kate looked over to Jack.

"Have a nice day," Boone side quickly, sidestepping the two to continue down the path.

Jack noticed Boone took the path down the trail at a quicker pace than he had appeared to be going before.

"There goes our boar," Kate sighed.

"Darn that Locke," Jack teased with a sarcastic grin.

The statement made Kate smile, which pleased Jack.

"You're happy about this, aren't you?" Kate inquired.

Jack couldn't help but to smile. Kate rolled her eyes.

"Fine," she said, "let's just go to the beach-" Kate heaved an exasperated sigh, "like always."

"I know," Jack said lightly, "we're just such a boring couple."

"Shut up," Kate shot, and Jack laughed.

They started the path back, and were surprised to find that Boone had already disappeared. A bird chirped over head, and as if his throat wanted to reply to it, Jack coughed.

"You okay?" Kate asked, sounding concerned.

"It's just a cough," Jack insisted.

"Yeah?" Kate said. "Well if I let out a cough like that you'd already have your stethoscope out and would be checking my temperature."

Jack laughed again, as did Kate.

"I bet it's because you're keeping yourself cooped up in the caves like that," Kate said thoughtfully.

"It's not my choice," Jack defended, "I mean, this morning I had to answer every question ranging from 'Does the monster have teeth?' to 'Which looks better, the blue shirt or the pink?'."

"Well I understand that you're a very important person Jack," Kate laughed, "especially in the fashion department, but honestly, you need to take more time for yourself."

"So far the only time I've ever gotten time to myself is when I've been kidnapped," Jack said.

"Hey, you're talking to America's most wanted here," Kate pointed out, "you might be giving me some ideas."

Jack noticed Kate's eyes were twinkling as though she were seriously considering the suggestion. Silence overcame them as they walked on, their banter dying into a lingering pause.

"I miss you," Kate admitted at last.

"I miss you too," Jack said sincerely, "but there's not much I can do about it. These people depend on me."

_She's depending on you too,_ Jack reminded himself.

"I know," Kate replied, "unless.."

Kate thought quickly.

"Unless what?" Jack asked.

Kate bit her lip.

"Unless you move to the beach."

The suggestion hit hard, as if she had yelled it rather than just calmly offered it. Was this why Kate had asked him out today in the first place? To try and talk him into moving back to the beach? The first time they were together, Kate had stayed at the caves with Jack, though it was obvious Kate would've preferred life at the beach. He had even noticed a change in Kate's behavior at the caves, despite the fact that she was with him: when she became distant, it wasn't like at the beach, where she would think things through, but it was like she was permanently shutting herself out, like the caves were engulfing her. And Jack would've loved to move to the beach with Kate, to make her happy, but he knew that with his duties of leader, and with a majority of the population now living at the caves, that wouldn't be the right choice. But it would still be the choice he wanted. Didn't he get a say? It sure didn't feel like it.

"Kate, you know-"

"Yeah," Kate said quietly, "you can't, I know."

Kate's hurt tone stung horrible, and the guilt began poking out at Jack.

"I want to," Jack said quickly, "it's just, with everyone-"

Kate stopped abruptly, surprising Jack so much that he almost tripped.

"I know," she said again, "it's just-" Kate hesitated before continuing, "I'm afraid something will happen, and you won't be there."

She stared down at the ground as she spoke, as if she was ashamed of how she felt, which made Jack feel even worse. Reaching over, Jack took Kate's hands in his.

"I'll always be there," he promised her, looking down at Kate though she wasn't looking at him.

Jack didn't expect Kate to reply, but didn't stop her when she opened her mouth to speak, though a distant call for Jack did the job anyway. He sighed.

"Maybe if we walk quickly," Kate said softly to the ground, and then looked up at Jack, eyes twinkling again, "we can just say we never heard them."

Jack grinned, and followed Kate down the path. She didn't say anything about Jack's promise, but he didn't expect a thank you. He didn't need one. When they finally reached the sand, Kate brought Jack's arm up(he hadn't even realized their hand was still connected), and placed it behind them, so that each of their arms was supported the other's back. They picked up the pace as they headed towards the tide, and made a mutual agreement to sit just where the dry sand met the damp. Kate sat with her legs crossed behind her, and in order to face her, Jack did the same.

"I think we lost them," Kate said.

"I'd hope so after you took off like that," Jack teased.

Kate smiled.

"Running is my expertise," she said.

Both Jack and Kate looked down after realizing what she had said.

"I'm sorry for the whole moving back thing," Kate said after a long pause, "really-"

"Don't be," Jack cut in, and looked around the beach, observing its calm residents, who went about their day without a care in the world. Oh what he would give to be able to be one of them. "Maybe someday, after all of this is over."

He smiled at Kate, who forced herself to return it.

"Do you really think someday all of this will be over?" Kate asked quietly.

Honestly Jack wasn't sure. He could hope this would all be over, but he wasn't the psychic. Still, Jack knew his word would mean a lot to Kate, and that was important to him.

"Yeah," Jack said, nodding, "I do."

Kate smiled again, this time sincere. Jack watched as she reached up with a hand, and place on the side of his face, cupping it. He shivered at the touch. Then, leaning towards Jack, Kate kissed him, ad Jack realized this was only their second kiss sense being back together. The kiss grew more passionate as Jack returned it, putting a hand on Kate's shoulder to steady his balance. Just then Jack heard someone whistle, while another let out a 'whoop' of cheer. Jack and Kate broke apart at the interrupted, resting their foreheads against each other. They didn't have to look up to know who was watching them: Charlie and Hurley. Kate let out a laugh, and Jack chuckled.

"There's no getting away from them, is there?" Kate asked him.

"Welcome to my world," Jack retorted.

They finally broke apart, both embarrassed at first, but then they each realized that they didn't really care what anyone else said, or cheered, for that matter. Nevertheless, it would've been great to have some privacy for once.

"Jack!" Someone called again.

Jack and Kate sighed in unison.

"You better go," Kate said, though that was the last thing she wanted.

"Yeah," Jack said, sighing again.

He reluctantly got to his feet, forcing himself to go see what the voice wanted. Kate got up as well, and Jack gave her a quick kiss goodbye before leaving. She watched him as he walked off, and was contemplating following him when she caught Hurley and Charlie grinning broadly at her from nearby. Blushing a slight shade of pink, Kate covered her face, looking down to the ground, though smiling all the same.

(space)

To Jack's surprise, it was Shannon who wanted his attention.

"Finally!" Shannon exclaimed when he reached the jungle line.

"Sorry," Jack said, a little taken aback, "I was-"

"Making out with your girlfriend," Shannon finished for him bitterly, "we all saw."

Jack realized that the whole beach had probably been watching. Still he was determined not to care. He wasn't ashamed of his relationship with Kate, and the devil on Jack's shoulder reminded him it was everyone elses fault he was never with Kate to begin with.

"What's the problem?" Jack said, shaking himself out of his thoughts.

Shannon rolled her eyes.

"Sayid wants you," she informed him, "he's at the caves."

She headed towards the path to the cave, and assuming he was supposed to follow, Jack did as well.

"Is something wrong?" Jack asked, concerned.

"I guess so," Shannon said, sounding irritable, "he's been carrying on all morning, but no one can calm him down enough to see what about.

Jack had to bite back a sigh. He knew it was selfish, but Jack was hoping that if someone had the nerve to interrupt his short time off, it was for a life or death situation. That made him sound like a jerk, yes, but why was it that he seemed to be the only person that someone could come to if something was wrong? As flattering as it was, Jack really couldn't see the difference between asking him for help, and asking someone else for help, unless it was something private.

When they reached the caves, Jack was relieved to see it had calmed down since that morning. Looking around, Jack spotted Sayid standing nearby, arms crossed, looking frustrated.

"What's the problem?" Jack asked, approaching.

"The maps are gone," Sayid replied rapidly.

Jack blinked.

"The what?"

"The maps!" Sayid replied. "The maps of the island! The ones I took from Danielle and the ones I drew. They're gone."

Jack shook his head, not comprehending.

"So what's the problem?" He asked, confused.

Sayid's eyes narrowed.

"What could possibly be the purpose of stealing maps?" He asked Jack.

Jack shrugged. He didn't have a clue.

"Either they're going somewhere," Sayid said darkly, as if he knew a deep secret about something, "or they're looking for something."

"I'm still not getting it," Jack said honestly.

Sayid sighed.

"Everyone here is afraid," Sayid began, "they won't go out into the jungle. Locke, Boone, and Danielle, know their way around by heart. Who else do you know would want to go out?"

Jack choose to hold back he and Kate's earlier attempt at boar hunting.

"I don't know," Jack finally said, "who?"

"No one," Sayid answered, "which means, whoever took the maps isn't one of us."

Jack stared at him. It didn't help that part of his mind was still back at the beach with Kate.

"I'm still not-"

"Someone's up to something," Sayid said with a sigh, "and it's probably not good."

Jack glanced around the caves, this time keeping an eye out for any suspicious behavior, though he still didn't fully understand Sayid's reasoning.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Jack asked, not meaning to sound as harsh as he did.

Sayid raised an eyebrow.

"Help me investigate," Sayid proposed, "see if you can find out anything from anyone. Anyone who looks suspicious, or anyone who's out of place."

Jack sighed, placing his hands on his hips. To Jack, this all seemed a little ridiculous.

"Are you sure you didn't just..misplaced them?" Jack said.

"I'm sure," Sayid assured.

He glanced to the side, trying not to show his irritation. Then, before he could stop it, the outburst he had been rehearsing in his mind since the first month on the island came out.

"Can't you just ask someone else?"

Jack could've sworn the entire population of the caves had stopped and turned around. Sayid stared at him, as if Jack had just asked the most insane thing. And to Sayid, Jack was sure that did sound insane.

"Is something wrong?" Sayid finally asked.

Jack wanted to scream, but instead he just sighed.

"No," Jack lied, "sure, I'll help."

"No," Sayid said suddenly, "I'll find someone else."

This time, Jack raised an eyebrow. Sayid left so abruptly that Jack couldn't even see which way he had gone. Sighing once again, Jack could only hope that Sayid didn't hold a grudge. However, Jack was still pleased at himself for finally sticking up for himself, and made to go back to the beach.

"Jack!"

Jack let out a groan of frustration, kicking the wall near him, wincing as his toe connected with the rock.

"Dude I just wanted to let you know you dropped this," Hurley said, handing Jack an assortment of items, which Jack recognized as being the ones he kept in the bottom pocket of his pack.

Sure enough, when he checked, the pocket had a mean rip through it, and the fabric that had once covered the whole was missing. Jack couldn't even bring himself to sigh. What he really wanted was a pillow or something to scream in. Or just to be able to be with Kate again for more than fifteen minutes would've been nice too.

"Thanks," he said to Hurley, taking the items carefully.

(space)

That night, Jack regretted his earlier need to let out frustration. It turned out that while Jack was at the beach looking for Kate, Kate was at the caves looking for Jack as well, and it just went downhill from there. At last Jack was able to steal a moment for himself, as Kate would say, and instead screaming into a pillow, Jack threw the pillow, which was really just a jacket, which collided gracefully with his medical supplies, sending them sprawling to the floor. He received no offers for help, and was left to savior whatever medicine he could fine.

"Need help?" A voice asked from the entrance.

Jack's heart leapt. Kate.

"Uh-" Jack fought to make sure he didn't drop the bottle of pills he was holding, "sure. I'd love some."

Kate smiled as she glided across the cave and began helping Jack. With Kate's help the job got done twice as fast, leaving them to do whatever they pleased.

"It's good to finally see you," Jack said, afraid that if he waited to long to say something, someone would come ask him to do something else.

"Yeah," Kate agreed, "you look exhausted."

At Kate's comment, Jack realized he really was tired.

"I am," he admitted.

"I should probably go then," Kate said apologetically, and turned towards the door.

"No!"

Jack's face reddened in embarrassment at the quickness of his request.

"Or not," Kate said, sliding back towards Jack.

Though he had been desperate to see Kate all day, Jack found that he didn't have a clue as to what to say. Obviously, neither did Kate. As an icebreaker, Kate bent down, and picked up something off of Jack's floor: a sock. She held it up so that Jack could see.

"You know," Kate said playfully, "when I first met you, I never expected that I'd be picking up your dirty socks."

"You know," Jack said mockingly, "when I first met you, I never thought I'd be asking you.." his tone grew serious, but only a playful seriousness, "if you could keep picking up my socks, because frankly, I don't have the time."

Kate laughed, and Jack chuckled at his own joke. She looked down quickly after that, and her gaze turned distant, as if contemplating something. Jack was about to ask what was wrong when Kate came towards him suddenly, forcing Jack into a kiss. He felt Kate drop the sock behind him as he let the shock wear off. Not wanting to give Kate the opportunity of being able to tease him about being the only one to ever make the first move, Jack was the one that chose to deepen the kiss, and soon they were slowly sliding to the ground.

(space)

_Kate was in a small room. It was dim and damp, and Kate could feel the cool sensation of blood trickling down her cheek. Though her vision was blurred, Kate could make out two men standing up across from her, both holding riffles and facing a figure on the floor below them._

_"We're wasting time," one of the men said._

_"He's wasting time," the other replied._

_"Kill him," the first instructed._

_"He's already killing himself."_

_The figure below them suddenly twitched, and Kate's eyes widen to see that it was a body. Even worse, as her vision came to focus, she saw that the figure was Jack. She tried to cry out, to say something, but when she opened her mouth, nothing came._

_"We should save his soul," the first man suggested._

_"It was his choice," the other said, "he did this to himself."_

_Did what to himself? What was going on? Where were they?_

_"No second chances for this fellow then."_

_The convincing seemed to have worked._

_"He's already had his second chance," the second man said, "and if he hasn't realized now-"_

_"That she's not good enough-"_

_"That he's too good-"_

_"Then he doesn't deserve-"_

_"To live."_

_It was as though they were singing a song they had written together. The two riffles went down, and Kate could only watch in horror as both triggers were pulled. Two gunshots fired through the air in unison, and blood began pouring out of Jack. Kate was frozen in fear. Jack was dead, murdered. Jack had been murdered, and the two gunmen didn't even bother turning back to her._

Kate let out a small gasp as she awoke from the dream that was really a nightmare. She looked around as she tried to catch her breath, and tried to remember where she was. Then she looked over and saw Jack sleeping soundlessly, and remembered. At some point Jack had laid a blanket over Kate, though only a jacket carelessly laid over him. Then Kate remembered the nightmare. Jack had been murdered, and now Kate knew why. It was because she wasn't good enough for him. She didn't match his standards. And as much as Kate hated it, she knew it was true, and that was why Kate grabbed the jacket from Jack, carefully replacing it with the blanket, and fled from the caves.

**Author's Note:** Okay, so no one's haunted..yet. Sorry this took so long to get out! I wanted this out by Thursday, at the latest, but I got really sick, and couldn't write. But at last, the holiday break is here, so I have plenty of time for updating:D Thanks so much, as always, for the reviews! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

Don't forget about Sawyer's bet, the outcome of which, will be revealed. But of course will see what happens that night, what's revealed, and the results of Kate's escape from the caves.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	16. Complicated

In the End

Chapter Sixteen

**Author's Note: **It's time to play _Fated _trivia! Just kidding, but some old plots are going to start being mentioned. It's okay if you don't remember them though, I barely do.

**Disclaimer:** Some of the Jate in this chapter was inspired by "What Kate Did", so just for the heck of it, remember that _Lost _isn't mine. But a girl can dream:-p "Nightswimming" belongs to R.E.M.

**Chapter Sixteen: **Complicated

"You're beautiful," Sawyer commented.

His voice was rasp and slurred, as if he had had too much to drink. In Sawyer's opinion, he had had too less to drink.

Rebecca didn't reply.

"I said you're beautiful," Sawyer said again, this time loud enough so that he could be sure that Rebecca heard him.

Still no reply. Rebecca remained in her same sitting position as she had been in all night, arms crossed and staring dangerously into the fire, as if she was trying to make it jump towards Sawyer.

"All right then," Sawyer said with a satisfying smirk, and looked away.

It had taken all Sawyer had in him not to drink one of the rums that had been stolen from the _Black Rock_. Hell, he was surprised they were still any good. But he could only imagine the things Rebecca would say if she found out he was drunk that night. A voice in his head reminded him that he probably shouldn't be drunk anyway, God only knew the things he might accidentally slip out. He just wished that Rebecca would say something, or at least look at him.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Sawyer finally asked.

Rebecca looked like she was contemplating a response. Was it really that hard to talk to him?

"All right," Rebecca agreed.

But by the sound of her tone, Sawyer knew he would regret asking. Rebecca was obviously thinking hard on where to begin, and Sawyer was getting the feeling that her whole night of silence had been spent planning out her next line.

"So who's J. Ford?" Rebecca asked after the long pause.

Sawyer felt himself freeze inside out. It was as if someone had suddenly pushed an 'off' button that controlled him. He couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He couldn't think. All he could do was breathe and listen to himself breathe. But Sawyer was sure he barely had a pause. Rebecca looked up at him, as if proving a point. Sawyer tried the best he could to avoid her glare, but there was no avoiding it. His eyes met hers, and Sawyer felt the same feeling of pain, hurt, and betrayal radiating back to him as he had earlier, except this time the vibes were five times as worse. And then he couldn't help but to wonder: at what point had Rebecca realized that his name still matched the man's name in the letter?

"That's what the letter was signed," Rebecca continued, "same handwriting, like a child's-" Rebecca leaned in closer, and when she spoke again, she spoke lower than before, "-who's J.Ford?"

Sawyer didn't reply. He couldn't. Because Sawyer knew that after this conversation, this revelation, nothing would be the same. Rebecca would know that in reality, Sawyer was exactly the kind of person she feared being with.

When Sawyer didn't answer, Rebecca readjusted her position in the sand so that she was laying on her stomach, body just inches away from the fire, and face just inches from Sawyer. Feeling uncomfortable, Sawyer laid down the same way. Still he didn't answer.

"It's just," Rebecca began, as casually as you please, "I find it funny that you have the same name of this man you say you hate, loathe-" their eyes met once more, "- who's J.Ford?"

An eerie sense of dejavu came over Sawyer, and after thinking a moment, he remembered where he had heard this conversation before. It was the exact same conversation he and Rebecca had had over the owner of the book.

_"Who's Rachel Collier?"_

Well, Sawyer thought, you know what they say about bad karma. The guilt of making Rebecca confess was coming back to him, and Sawyer knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he had made her confess, yet he refused to return the favor.

"I'm J. Ford," Sawyer admitted, at last.

Rebecca gave no reaction. Sawyer figured she had already figured this out. At least she had trusted him on the writing the letter issue, maybe he could use that to his advantage later.

"Then why use Sawyer?" Rebecca wanted to know. "I thought you hated him."

Sawyer hated this. He wasn't used to having to reveal things to someone, or to worry about maintaining someone's trust. The only trust Sawyer ever dealt with was with money.

"I did," Sawyer said, his voice low and rasp.

It was amazing how drunk he could sound and act without actually being drunk. Across from him, Rebecca waited for him to continue.

"I-" Sawyer stuttered, and then stopped.

But he didn't stop because he didn't know what to say. Sawyer stopped because he was stuttering. In all his life, Sawyer couldn't remember ever once stuttering. What was this girl doing to him? Or was it that something was wrong with him?

"I needed some money," Sawyer finally said, "so I went to these guys, and they..loaned me some."

Rebecca winced at the phrase. Sawyer knew she knew what kind of people he was talking about, even if he hadn't said it out loud. That alone already made Rebecca twice as smart as half the girls he dated.

"But took more than I could pay back," Sawyer went on, "I didn't have enough to get out of dodge of these guys, so I had to get the money."

He held Rebecca's gaze as he told his story, but Sawyer could still see her tensing up as the tale grew darker.

"I had no job, so I got one," a mixture of feelings aroused in Sawyer as he continued. He didn't want to move on with the story, but other than that, he wasn't exactly feeling anything anymore. Numb. That was the word for it. "Tricked a woman into going out with me so I could take her money. It was easy. It worked. So I did it again. And again. Different couples, bigger money each time. I made a career out of it. And whenever someone wanted to know my name, I told them: Sawyer. Because that's who I was. I was as low as he was. I spent so much time looking for the guy that I became him." Sawyer added the last part for himself, for comic relief. "Ironic, huh?"

He didn't expect an answer, and he didn't get one. Sawyer didn't want to take the time to figure out what Rebecca was feeling, or even what he was figuring himself. He didn't want to know what she thought about him now. It was always better not to know. Sawyer got to his feet, taking a step too close to the fire for his liking, though even if he had gotten burned, it wouldn't of been the worse thing in the world. Kate and Jack had got back together after Jack had gotten hurt in the woods, maybe the same luck would come to him. And there it was again. The desperation and need to be with Rebecca. It made him feel like a teenaged girl. He noticed Rebecca was watching him from below.

"You're right," Sawyer said in defeat, "you do know guys like me."

Sawyer turned to leave, but stopped when he came face to face with the jungle. He realized that this may be the last time he ever got to see Rebecca again. It felt as if though he were going away to prison, and these were the last words he'd ever say to her. Sawyer really didn't want to leave things hanging, to run, but it was the only thing he knew to do. Yet if he had any hopes of staying with Rebecca, he'd have to change that habit. He'd have to patch things up.

"Sorry I had to let you down," Sawyer said, looking Rebecca in the eyes, "but I ain't no Prince Charming. If you don't wanna be around me, I ain't gonna beg."

Rebecca looked down quickly to avoid Sawyer's gaze. He was sure she expected him to immediately run off, but Sawyer was actually expecting her to say something. And so he waited, and he stared. And when Rebecca never said anything, he walked off. He didn't even bother with the running part.

(space)

Jack smiled as his eyes fluttered awake. For the first time in a long time, Jack didn't mind waking up earlier. It only meant being able to spend more time with Kate. Of course, this would mean talking Kate out of sleep. Readying himself for the task, Jack rolled over, only to find the spot beside him empty. Alarmed, Jack looked around his cave frantically, but it was still empty. He then noticed that his jacket he had been using as a blanket had been replaced with a real one. Jack frowned as he got to his feet, pulling a shirt over his head as he headed out of the caves.

The night outside the caves was cool, and Jack wished he had thought to bring a jacket, but he was happy knowing that Kate had one wherever she had run off to. But why had she run? She always ran, every time they were together. There would be periods of time where she would stop being afraid, or whatever it was, but then something would change her mind. Just the fact that she seemed to be more afraid of the future than he was scared Jack, and he began to wonder if maybe it was him she was afraid of.

"Kate!" Jack called as choose the path that led to the beach.

He knew Kate hated being at the caves, even if she didn't always come right out and say it. Maybe that's why she left.

"Kate!" He called again, this time more desperate.

A sob from nearby caught his attention. Jack slowed to a walk, carefully picking his way through the brush. The sounds of soft sobbing grew nearer, but they also grew quieter, as if someone were trying to hide their breakdown. At last Jack pushed back the last tree limb, and his heart stopped when he saw that the sobs belonged to Kate. Even if he had been suspecting it, Jack still felt heartbroken when he saw that she was crying.

"Kate-" Jack began, stepping closer to her, "what's wrong?"

He raised a hand, wondering if it would be okay to try and comfort her, and decided it was. Jack cautiously placed a his hand on Kate's shoulder, and for a moment, it seemed to calm Kate down. Kate's heavy breathing ceased, and she wiped a tear from her eye. She was still turned away from Jack, but at least he had calmed her down. And then, out of nowhere, a sudden rage came over Kate, and with a muffled cry of frustration, she swatted Jack's hand away, shoving him to the side.

"Kate," Jack began again, this time more softly.

"Get away from me!" Kate cried.

Jack's face contorted in concern. Once again, Kate began crying uncontrollably.

"No," Jack protested.

His voice almost came out in a whisper. Why was Kate acting this way? Had someone done something to her? Jack felt a burst of anger form inside him. If someone hurt Kate while he wasn't there, if he wasn't able to protect her-

"Just go, Jack!" Kate exclaimed, and shoved Jack away once more, her fist slamming against his chest as she let out another sob.

The physical pain wore off quickly, but Kate's behavior still worried him.

"No," he said sternly, "I won't."

"You have to get away from me!" Kate cried desperately. "Before they come!"

Jack's eyebrows furrowed. They? At that moment, Kate looked up to him, meeting his eyes. Jack's heart sank even more, if possible. Kate's eyes were pleading, but also apologetic, as if she had something to be sorry for.

"They?" Jack finally brought himself to ask.

"Please," Kate begged, "I don't want them to hurt you."

Jack had never seen Kate so desperate, and it broke his heart. Something was clearly wrong, and no way was he going to just leave.

"No one's going to hurt me," Jack assured her, "what's wrong?"

He noticed that Kate's fist were still on his chest where she had pushed him away, but never let go. This time, Kate didn't argue. Instead she fell against him, letting herself collapse in his arms as Jack caught her.

"It's okay," Jack told her, letting Kate rest her forehead against him as he rubbed her back in small, soothing circles, "it's okay."

"I was so scared," Kate admitted, choking back a sob, "they were going to kill you."

Then Jack understood. No one had heart Kate, or at least not in reality. It had been a nightmare. Jack sighed in relief, even though he knew Kate was still torn up about it.

"It's okay," Jack said again, "it wasn't real."

"No," Kate said, and slowly lifted herself off of Jack, "they were going to kill you because of me."

She looked up at him, and Jack saw the same apologetic look that had been their earlier.

"Because you were with me," Kate finished, "they said..you didn't deserve me, and that you were wrong for staying with me, and something had to be done about it."

Kate looked down to the ground quickly, as if ashamed of what she had just said. Jack's face softened. So that's why she had run. She was convinced Jack shouldn't be with her. How wrong she was. Jack knew he should always be with her, and didn't want anything different.

"That's crazy," Jack said, blurting out the first thing that came to mind, "Kate..I want to be with you-" he placed his hands on her shoulders, and this time, she didn't turn away, "I don't have a..list of requirements I'm looking for in someone-" he laughed to himself, "my father might, but..well, he's not here." Jack offered Kate a small smile. "I always knew that when the right person came, I'd know, and that'd be that. And the right person did come."

At last Kate looked up at him, her eyes still sad, but hopeful.

"I want to be with you," Jack repeated, "I just hope you want to be with me too."

He didn't mean to let that slip out, but he wasn't that regretful when it did. Jack wanted to make sure that Kate knew that even if she did choose to be with someone else, he would still want to be with her. And that was the truth.

"I want to be with you too," Kate finally said, and Jack smiled a little, "it's just.."

Jack knew the dream was still on her mind. Pulling Kate into a supporting hug, Jack wrapped his arms around her, and he felt her arms slip around him. Kate rested her head against her shoulder, and Jack put a hand on her back.

"It was only a nightmare," he assured her, "you're okay."

Kate nodded, and Jack knew that she wasn't just doing so to make him happy. She gently slipped out of the hug, but instead of letting go completely, gave Jack a kiss, which he was quick to accept. The kiss felt like Kate was trying to pour her soul into Jack, apologize for everything, and let Jack know she was okay. She heard what she had needed to hear from him. Smiling, Jack broke the kiss, and gave Kate a moment to choke back the last of her tears. Then she too offered Jack a small smile. Thinking she had heard something, Kate looked up behind Jack, and her eyes widened at what she saw.

"Jack.." Kate said slowly.

Jack raised an eyebrow, and looked behind them to where Kate was pointing. There in the small clearing, a boar stood, staring dangerously at them. The two froze under the boar's glare.

"That's a boar," Jack finally whispered.

"I didn't notice," Kate said sarcastically.

"I thought you said they'd be inland!" Jack exclaimed softly, remembering their earlier conversation.

"I thought they would be!" Kate snapped.

Jack thought quickly. His instincts told him to run, but his smarts told him that would be a very stupid thing to do right now. They had to do something, but he didn't want Kate getting hurt. And he'd rather not spend the day out cold with a head injury. Suddenly he got an idea.

"Are you still wearing my jacket?" Jack asked Kate quickly.

Kate looked surprised; Jack hadn't mentioned noticing she had taken his jacket.

"Yeah," Kate said, sounding a little unsure.

"That hunting knife from earlier's still inside it," Jack said, now thankful for his earlier stupidity of leaving it end there.

"What!" Kate cried softly, sounding furious.

"Don't ask," Jack hissed, "just get it!"

"Why?" Kate said, voice shaking.

Jack never thought he would witness Kate this nervous under pressure.

"We're killing it."

Kate glanced over to Jack, still unsure. Jack's hand stuck out slightly, waiting for the knife.

"I'm killing it," Kate quickly correctly.

As funny of an image as Jack stabbing a boar was, she didn't want to have to live it.

"No!" Jack protested. "Give me the knife!"

Kate looked from Jack to the boar, and back again. Jack looked like he wanted nothing more right now than to serve that boar on a silver platter. Sighing, Kate gave in, and handed Jack the knife. Jack took the knife like had showed him earlier, and slowly step forward. Suddenly this didn't seem like such a good idea anymore.

"Jack," Kate said, worried, "don't-" she reached out for him, but Jack had already gone too far, "you'll hurt yourself!"

"Sh.." Jack said.

She wasn't sure if he was talking to her or the boar. Jack inched closer to the boar, which was being extremely obedient to him- it didn't even try to run. With one quick motion, Jack thrust his hand forward. Now the boar chose to charge. Jack let out a cry of pain, and Kate screamed as she jumped to the side. But the boar never passed her. A loud cry rang through the air that came from neither Jack nor Kate- the cry wasn't even human. It was the cry of an animal in pain. And next came..laughter?

"Jack?" Kate asked carefully, trying to see where Jack was in the dark.

Once Jack hit the ground, he had entered the night's shadows, no longer illuminated by the moon's light. But she could still here laughing, and Kate soon recognized it as Jack's. At last Kate found Jack on the ground, a couple of feet from where the boar was before(Kate figured it must've flipped him). He was holding a crippled arm, but he didn't seem to be in too much pain.

"Jack!" Kate said again, this time in surprise of his injury.

On the ground, Jack fought to cease his laughter.

"Jack, you're hurt!" Kate exclaimed, like Jack didn't know this already.

Jack blinked a few times, as if he were trying to stay conscious.

"Hold still," Kate instructed, carefully taking Jack's hurt arm with her hand.

She couldn't see anything from the moonlight, and mentally kicked herself for not thinking to bring her backpack. Surely there would've been some kind of light in this. Sighing, Kate tried to think of what to do, and in the meantime, rubbed her fingers over Jack's wrist, which was surely bruised.

"No, Kate," Jack said, sounding excited, "look."

With his good hand, Jack pointed beside him. Kate looked, and sure enough, there lay their boar, barely breathing.

"I think I stunned it," Jack said proudly.

Kate looked at the boar in concern. As much as she wanted to play the role of educated hunter, Kate still couldn't stand the sight of a wounded animal.

"You can't stun a boar, Jack." Kate said sympathetically, feeling sorry for the boar.

The boar's breaths were growing rougher and slower with each moment that passed, and after what seemed like hours of watching it suffer, it finally died.

"So it looks like we're getting some meat after all," Jack said, breaking Kate from her thoughts of the boar.

Jack sounded so proud that Kate couldn't help but to smile. And he did look cute laying on the ground like that. Maybe she could forgive him for his stupidity.

(space)

It took twice as long to get back to the caves with the boar in tow, and Jack was thrilled to find that Locke was still awake.

"Is that a boar?" Locke asked in disbelief.

Kate nodded, exhausted and forehead dripping in sweat as she finally dropped the animal.

"I killed it," Jack said.

The proud tone never left his voice, and even as Kate was killing her back trying to get the thing back to camp, Jack still bragged about his success. Kate was happy for him, but there just came a time when you had to shut up. She, for one, was grateful to be back at the caves, where she could lay down, and try and get some sleep.

Of course, Jack insisted on carrying his prize back, but Kate refused to let him. They wouldn't be able to look at Jack's arm until they were back in the light of their camp, but she knew it was hurting him, even if he wouldn't admit it.

"Wow," Locke said, "I have to say, I am impressed."

Jack smiled. Kate had to look away as Locke examined the boar, talking Jack through the process he would be taking to cook it.

"I might be able to have it ready by morning," Locke said, "maybe mid-afternoon."

"Sounds good," Jack said.

Looking over, Locke spotted Jack's bloody and bruised arm.

"You might want to clean off," Locke advised, "and I'm going to have to move this-" he nodded to the boar, and winked, "don't want the smell getting to strong."

Jack smiled again, and nodded, turning back to Kate.

"I'm gonna go wash off," Jack told Kate.

He gave her a quick kiss, breaking away before Kate could even acknowledge it was happening.

"I'll be back soon," he promised, and left the caves.

Kate felt a little hurt that Jack didn't ask one more time if she was okay, but she knew she shouldn't be expecting so much attention. Jack was just really happy about his first hunting success. She smiled as she remembered the time she caught her first fish. At only six she was able to do so, and after wards Kate and her father had gotten their picture taken with it, and went out for ice cream. It hadn't even been that big of a fish.

"You okay?" She heard Locke ask her.

"Yeah," Kate lied quickly, covering up her deep thinking.

(space)

The ocean came into view at last. Maybe it was because truthfully he was exhausted, or maybe it was because of his aching wrist, but the trip to the beach took longer than normal. Once he arrived, Jack regretted coming, not wanting to have to experience the pain of salt on wounds. Luckily, he thought that most of the blood had come from the boar.

Bending down, Jack reached into the ocean with his good hand, and splashed some water onto his right. He winced as the salt ran over the bruises, which stood out black and blue against the moonlight. Those would be bothersome for awhile. Once the blood was gone, Jack carefully took his wrist and wrapped it around the bottom fabric of his shirt. He exhaled, trying to rid of the pain before people swarmed him with questions and pity. Jack looked around the beach camp, eyes trailing over the sleeping bodies, but when he turned to the right, the site was completely different. Not only was Hurley still up, laying back in the sand and staring out across the ocean, but a fire light was still burning strong, and a single woman sat behind it, looking heartbroken. It took a moment, but Jack recognized her as the girl Sawyer had been hanging around, the one he had kissed after returning to camp with Sayid and Boone. Sawyer was nowhere to be seen.

"What's the story there?" Jack asked Hurley, who jumped at the sound.

Jack was surprised Hurley hadn't noticed him standing there. Then again, Jack hadn't noticed him either.

"I think they had a fight or something," Hurley said, speaking over the waves so that Jack could hear him.

Jack noticed that the normal cluelessness Hurley's voice usually possessed was gone. In fact, Hurley almost looked..depressed. Glancing back towards the girl's camp, Jack concluded that she was definitely crying. He wanted to go confront her, but he knew that Kate would be waiting back in the caves.

"Hey," Jack called to Hurley, "if he doesn't come back in ten minutes, go talk to her."

"Sure thing, dude," Hurley called back.

Jack looked at Hurley, concerned. This distant behavior wasn't like him. It was expected more from someone like Kate, or Alex. Even in the darkest of times Hurley still had a joke to pull, or a smile to offer.

"You okay?" Jack asked him.

Hurley hesitated before opening his mouth.

"Has anyone ever asked you to keep a secret?" Hurley said. "You know, like one you knew you should probably tell someone?"

Jack thought back to the first months of the island, and keeping Kate's criminal past between them.

"Yeah," Jack admitted.

"Well.." Hurley sounded unsure of what he was saying, "did you tell?"

Keeping Kate's past secret was one of his more prouder moments. It had been hard at times, but he knew that having his trust was important to Kate, and he also knew that trust was a delicate thing to lose.

"No," Jack answered truthfully.

His response didn't seem to be what Hurley's looking for.

"Hey," Jack said again, "if whatever this person told you could be life threatening to them, you should tell."

This didn't seem to be what Hurley wanted to either. Hurley heaved a sigh.

"Thanks dude," he said, though it didn't sound sincere, "you tried. Go back to your girl."

"Good night," Jack said, laughing a little at Hurley's dull tone to try and cheer him up.

Turning, Jack walked back towards the jungle, but thoughts of Kate and the nightmare she had sidetracked him, and Jack stopped suddenly ten minutes into his walk, and noticed he had no clue where he was. He spun around a few times, hoping some hint of recognition would come to him. Instead, Jack picked up a sound from nearby, not very loud, but loud enough for Jack to recognize it for what it was: snoring. Curious and confused, Jack cautiously walked towards the sound, searching for the source, which didn't take long to find. Just down the path, sleeping with his back against the tree, was Sawyer. _Maybe the arguing wore him out,_ Jack thought. Sawyer didn't appear to be hurt, like he had been kidnapped, he was just..sleeping. And snoring. Loudly. And personally, Jack thought it was rather annoying.

"Get lost?" Jack asked, loudly enough to wake up Sawyer.

Sawyer jerked out of his sleep, slamming his head back against the tree. Sawyer groaned. Jack just laughed.

"Shut up," Sawyer mutter bitterly.

"So is this like a normal routine?" Jack joked, amused. "Find a girl, sleep with her, and then run into the jungle? Or did she kick you out?"

"Will you cut it out?" Sawyer snapped, running a hand over his face. "What time is it?"

Jack shrugged.

"What're you doin' out here anyway?" Sawyer asked, irritable.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Jack said, crossing his arms.

He winced at the sudden painful reminder of his hurt arm.

"Me and Rebecca had a fight," Sawyer finally admitted.

_Rebecca and I,_ Jack immediately thought.

Sawyer didn't offer any more. Jack wondered briefly if maybe Sawyer was waiting for him to offer some advice. Now this was just too weird. Not only was it just the fact that this was Sawyer having relationship problems, Jack knew that had things not gone his way, it could be Kate Sawyer was fighting with. Jack had to hold back a scrowl, furious at the thought of all the trouble and fighting to get Kate, only for Sawyer to leave her. But this wasn't Kate, and if Kate found out that Jack just left Sawyer there in his miserable mood, she'd have a fit.

"Well," Jack began, "you're not going to fix anything out here."

"Thanks, Dr. Phil," Sawyer said sarcastically, "I don't need your help."

"Whatever," Jack muttered, and turn to leave.

"So what were you doing out here?" Sawyer called after him.

Either he was desperate for advice, or nosy. Sighing, Jack turned back around. All he really wanted to do was get back to the caves, to Kate, and sleep. Assuming she was still there. Since when did being island leader included giving out relationship advice?

"Kate had this dream," Jack explained, picking his words carefully, "I think it was bothering her."

"What was it about?" Sawyer asked curiously.

Jack realized for the first time that he didn't know.

"I don't know," Jack confessed.

"Where is she now?" Sawyer said, looking behind Jack, as if expecting to see Kate there.

"At the caves," Jack said. Sawyer raised an eyebrow, and Jack sighed. "Long story."

A moment passed, and Jack almost cheered when he realized that now might be his chance to escape. Then he remembered Rebecca sitting alone by the fire, well, now she was probably listening to Hurley's problems, and he began to feel guilty. But surely nothing he could say to Sawyer would change anything. Suddenly an idea came to Jack.

"My wife and I used to fight a lot, "Jack began.

He noticed Sawyer seemed interested at the term 'wife', and Jack just now realized Sawyer didn't know about Sarah. But when Sawyer didn't ask any questions, Jack continued. Recalling the story, Jack leaned back against the tree behind him, suddenly deep in thought.

"I remember this one time," Jack went on, "we were supposed to meet for dinner. It was our second anniversary, and I told her she could pick the restaurant. The problem was, she forgot to tell me which restaurant she chose, and I ended up spending the entire night going from place to place looking for her-" he let out a laugh, "of course, she wouldn't admit it was her fault."

"Why didn't you just call her?" Sawyer asked.

"I did," Jack said defensively, "her phone was off."

Sawyer snorted.

"When I finally found her, it turns out she's at this Japanese place," Jack shook his head, "not only do I hate Japanese food, but our entire dinner was spent arguing. She never did give in."

Sawyer looked at him in disbelief.

"That's it?" He said, sounding both angry and disappointed.

Jack was slightly taken aback. He, for one, thought it was a pretty good story.

"Yeah," Jack said blankly.

Sawyer snorted again.

"So what'd you do?" He asked, despite his disliking for the story. "You know, to make up?"

I ended up getting her pregnant, Jack thought, and it went downhill from there.

"I gave her the necklace I bought and it was never spoken of again," Jack lied, "unfortuently you won't have that kind of luck here."

"Thanks," Sawyer said sarcastically.

Jack chuckled.

"Why don't you just talk to her?" Jack suggested.

"You can't talk about what we fought about," Sawyer said, more to himself than to Jack.

He sounded angry with himself, and Jack realized that he actually felt bad for Sawyer.

"Just give it some time," Jack advised, "she'll come around. She seems like a great girl."

"She is," Sawyer agreed.

Sawyer seemed to be in a better mood.

"But I don't even know why I'm tryin'," Sawyer said, his meloncolny mood bad.

Of all people, Sawyer was the last Jack would've expected to be unconfident in the dating field.

"Do you love her?" Jack asked.

Sawyer stopped.

"I dunno," he shrugged, "maybe."

Jack smiled, knowing Kate would be proud.

"That's why," he finished, pointing at Sawyer, "have a good night, Sawyer."

He turned away, decided to restart his path from the beach, before he could be distracted from getting back to Kate anymore.

(cue music: "Nightswimming" by R.E.M.)

_Nightswimming.._

_Deserves a quiet night_

Most of the residence of the caves were sleeping, speaking that it must've been nearly one in the morning. Of course, most of the residence of the caves didn't have to live through the horrors Alex had, and weren't constantly haunted by them at night.

_The photograph on the dashboard, taken years ago, _

_turned around backwards so the windshield shows. _

_Every streetlight reveals the picture in reverse. _

_Still, it's so much clearer._

Lately she had chosen to stay at the caves, and though she wouldn't admit it, it was because she knew there was lots of people close by that she could count on for protecting. Tonight she lay on her side, eyes wide open, in fear of having to relive the nightmares she had lately been having. She stared at the picture in her hands, the one she had from Paris, hoping it would bring some kind of comfort. Instead came the constant reminders of the happiness she could no longer have, and more importantly, the fact that only Alex had survived. Suddenly she wasn't able to take it anymore. She needed to get away. Sitting up, Alex noticed that at some point Hurley had made it to the caves. He seemed to be in a depressed mood, and though she felt bad for him, Alex didn't want to stick around.

"Hey Hurley," she called, and Hurley turned around, "have you seen my mom?"

"Uh.." Hurley said, thinking, "yeah, Dude, I think she's at the beach."

Alex smiled.

"Thanks."

_I forgot my shirt at the water's edge. _

_The moon is low tonight. _

As she left the caves, Boone watched her leave. Hurley noticed this, and just shrugged. Why she'd run out in the middle of the night was beyond him as well.

_Nightswimming deserves a quiet night. _

Just as Alex left Jack entered, and he made to ask what was wrong(she was clearly trying to hide being upset), but was brushed off. As he crossed the caves, Jack gave Hurley and Boone a smile, and walked over to his cave.

_I'm not sure all these people understand. _

_It's not like years ago, _

He rubbed his wrist as he leaned against the side of the cave, feeling drained from the events of the night. Jack saw that Kate was sleeping on the floor. It looked like she had stayed up waiting for him. Jack smiled at the thought.

_The fear of getting caught, _

_of recklessness and water. _

On the way back to the caves, Jack found himself thinking about Sarah. It was something he hardly ever thought about- she wasn't even there- but the conversation with Sawyer brought up some memories. And then his mind began playing the "what if" game. That day Sarah agreed to meet him in LA for the funeral. She was going to take the flight with him, but she had to sort some things out at work before taking some time off. She was a lawyer now. He knew it was wrong, but the idea of what kind of money they'd be making, had they stayed together, had occurred to them. What kind of future they could provide for Cat..their daughter. What if he had waited in Sydney with her back then? Would they have gotten back together? In some crazy world, would he have still met Kate? Would everything still have turned out okay?

_They cannot see me naked. _

Forcing himself back to the real world, Jack watched as Kate slept silently on the ground, and smiled. Enough with the 'what ifs'. All that should matter right now was that he was back with Kate, and that things were okay. Well, as okay as they could be.

_These things, they go away, _

Yawning, Jack laid down on the floor next to Kate, putting the blanket back over her, and adjusting his arm so that it lay under her head. He had been careful not to wake her up, but Kate stirred underneath him anyway. Jack was expecting a simple hey, but instead..

"I love you," Kate muttered softly.

So softly, Jack could hardly hear her. He wondered if maybe she was talking in her sleep. He hoped she wasn't.

"I love you too," Jack replied quietly.

Pulling back some of the hair that was hanging over her face, Jack saw that Kate was smiling, and before he knew it, she had fallen back asleep.

_Replaced by everyday. _

As it turned out, there wasn't as many asleep as predicted. On the beach, Shannon was one of the ones still awake.

_Nightswimming, remembering that night_

Sayid was sleeping nearby, and knowing that any minute he would wake up and insist on knowing what was wrong, Shannon used her time dearly. Her time to think, that was. Tomorrow she was going to give Boone back his journal. She had forgotten that she even had it until that morning, when she found it buried under some clothes. Once again Shannon found herself flipping through it, and once again the stories scared her. Because Boone sounded so scared writing what he wrote. Shannon couldn't remember once seeing her brother..step-brother..scared.

_September's coming soon. _

She had actually spent the night debating about giving the journal back. If she did give it back, Shannon was afraid that Boone would become all depressed again. It wasn't like Boone had any more to do than to read that stupid notebook all day. Shannon smiled as she suddenly got an idea.

_I'm pining for the moon. _

That was it. What Boone needed was something to do, and preferably something that would take his mind off his jealousy of her and Sayid. Her smile broaden. It was so obvious he was jealous, and part of Shannon actually enjoyed that. She shook herself away from that thought. What she needed to focus on was finding something for Boone to do..or someone to be with..

_And what if there were two _

Not far away, Locke was laying in the sad, staring at the stars. He knew he had to cook that boar Jack caught, but he was too tired to start. Locke realized that as much as he was out in the jungle, exploring the island and its history, he never really got to enjoy it. At that moment, Locke looked over and noticed Sun sitting by herself nearby, obviously unable to sleep. She must've noticed his looking, and turned, meeting his eyes. Locke smiled.

_Side by side in orbit _

_Around the fairest sun?_

Back in the caves, Hurley was still awake. That morning Charlie told him his plans of taking Claire to the Black Rock. He didn't say why, only that they were going and would be back by nightfall, and here it was, almost sunrise, and they weren't back yet. He wanted to tell someone- if something was wrong he'd never forgive himself- but Hurley was afraid Charlie would get mad at him. But still something could go wrong..Groaning, Hurley rolled over, determined to get some sleep.

_That bright, tight forever drum _

_could not describe nightswimming. _

After Jack left, Sawyer decided not to spend the night in the jungle. For one, there were too many bugs. For another, as much as he hated to admit it, Jack was right. He really did want to make up with Rebecca. Sawyer just wasn't used to being in a relationship.

_You, I thought I knew you. _

When Sawyer got back to camp, he found the fire still blowing, and Rebecca asleep. Sawyer was still angry with her for forcing the confession out of him, he was still concerned for her, especially the fact that she seemed to be shivering in her sleep. Slipping off his jacket, Sawyer gently laid it over Rebecca, and settled down in the sand across from her.

_You I cannot judge. _

Though he laid down to go to sleep, Sawyer found himself no longer tired, and instead propped himself up on his elbows, and stared across the still-blowing fire at Rebecca. Suddenly she stir, and looked over to where he was watching her. Neither said anything as Rebecca crawled over, careful to avoid the fire, and laid down beside Sawyer.

_You, I thought you knew me, _

Sawyer put a protective arm around Rebecca, who seemed to only be half awake.

"Where did you go?" She asked curiously.

_This one laughing quietly underneath my breath. _

"It doesn't matter."

Rebecca looked up at him, concerned, but didn't ask anything else. A yawn escaped her throat, and slowly she lay her head back against Sawyer's arm.

_Nightswimming._

When Alex finally reached the beach camp, she looked around. A fire was blowing in the distance: Sawyer's. He was with his girlfriend, Rebecca, and they just had a fight. Alex smiled at being able to know this information. She turned to the right, and began walking to what eventually became another set of camps, including her mother's, who was sleeping, using her bag as a pillow. Alex smiled again when she saw the rifle Danielle carried everywhere laying beside her. Personally Alex thought she was too paranoid, but there was no talking her out of it.

"Hey," Alex whispered, shaking Danielle's shoulder.

She felt bad about waking her up, but Alex didn't want her mother to flip out in the morning when she found out Alex had been traveling alone at night. Danielle wasn't as trusting in her psychic abilities as she was. This way, Alex could just claim she explained everything the night before, and Danielle simply didn't remember.

"What?" Danielle mumbled, barely awake.

"Can I stay here tonight?" Alex asked, biting her lip.

Even though she trusted her abilities, Alex really didn't want to walk back to the caves in the dark. One night trip was enough for her.

"Sure," Danielle replied, still half-conscious.

The polar bear might as well of asked her. Nevertheless, Alex sighed in relief, and moved the rifle over so that she could have a place in the sand. She knew she was a little to old to go crying to mom at every bad dream, but Alex considered herself an acceptation. Not to mention Danielle was obviously determine to achieve the mother-daughter bondness thing. Danielle would probably be thrilled when she found out she blew off Jack earlier. Alex would have to apologize for that, but she had the feeling that Jack wasn't really wanting to talk anyway.

Back at their camp, Sawyer was determined to start a conversation. Neither of the two had been able to get back to sleep, leaving them stuck in an awkward silence. Finally Sawyer decided to ask Rebecca something that had been on his mind lately.

"Do you believe in curses?" He asked.

The question clearly took Rebecca by surprise.

"What?" She said, confused.

_The photograph reflects, every streetlight a reminder. _

"Everyone on the raft.." Sawyer began, thinking of how to word it, "Michael, Jin, Walt..all of them are..you know, dead.

Sawyer found himself unable to continue. Maybe it was because he still blamed himself for their deaths. He knew it was insane, he wasn't with any of them when they had been..well, murdered..but if he really thought about it, Sawyer could trace back ways in which he could've prevented the deaths.

"What's this about?" Rebecca asked him.

She was worried about him, that much was obvious. Great, that was all he needed.

"Do you think," Sawyer hesitated, "I'm next?"

Rebecca frowned at him.

"Sawyer.." Rebecca started, "you're not going to die."

He realized now how stupid that sounded. Still, the words were comforting.

"I know," Sawyer lied, "just checkin'."

_Nightswimming deserves a quiet night, _

Rebecca rolled her eyes, and then closed them. Knowing soon he'd be the only one awake, Sawyer did the same, not wanting to be up alone.

_Deserves a quiet night. _

Author's Note: I swear I thought I'd never get that ending done! I think I'm actually earlier with the update this week..be proud:-p. I'm not sure when I'll update again, probably over the weekend or Monday. I'm planning on doing a Christmas fic, but now I don't know if I'll have time. I'll try and start it tomorrow. Thanks so much for all the reviews! Okay, well, the two who came back. Just kidding, I know you guys have lives..um..no offense to anyone with that. Okay, I'll shut up now. You guys rock!

Coming up next, on "In the End":

An unusual, and rather creepy, happening brings together an unusual team of Alex, Boone, and Hurley at the caves, while Jack leads a search party to find Charlie and Claire, and Shannon searches desperately to find a girlfriend for Boone.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	17. Ghost

In the End

Chapter Seventeen

Thank you: A big thank you to Crazyhorsegirl88 for helping me sort out the kidnapping scene. Actually, a lot of it was really her idea.

**Chapter Seventeen:** Ghost

For the second time that morning, Jack woke up with a smile, and this time it was able to linger on when he saw that Kate was still beside him. She was still sleeping, probably exhausted from the nightmare. It really had bothered her, which bothered Jack even more.

Jack watched as Kate breathed slowly, much more calmer now than the night before, and smiled again. She looked so peaceful. Outside the sun was rising, and Jack knew he should be waking her up, but he was reluctant to pull her out of her slumber. A soft groan escaped from underneath him, and Jack was saved from his debate by Kate's self-awakening.

"Hey," she said with a yawn as her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey," Jack echoed.

Breathing in deeply, taking in the morning senses, Kate rolled over to face Jack. He was about to kiss her when he noticed her eyes were searching his, as if she were doing her own contemplating.

"I'm sorry about last night," Kate said, finally.

"You don't have to be sorry," Jack said, "it was only a nightmare."

Kate held his gaze, but didn't answer. Instead she rolled away from Jack, laying with her back facing him.

"It was so real," she whispered.

He knew Kate was counting on him to say something comforting, to make her feel better, but Jack was speechless. Another "it's okay" would receive a small nod, no doubt a lie. The situation would never be resolved, but merely pushed to the side, and this was certainly not the kind of situation that should be pushed to the side. Whatever Kate dreamt might be just a dream to him, but it really scared her. Jack started to think about that. When you're scared, you're supposed to confront your fears, so maybe that was the best thing to do here.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked quietly.

Kate shook her head.

"It was just.." Kate hesitated, "I just hope it doesn't come true."

She looked over her shoulder at Jack, who offered her a smile. Kate forced herself to return it, and returned her gaze to the floor.

"So," Jack began, feeling obligated to say something, "a new day."

Jack mentally kicked himself. What a horrible way to start a conversation.

"You never know what could happen," Jack went on, trying to make himself sound more cheerful, "running from polar bears, ghost ships, fighting off monsters.."

"That thing has been quiet the past few days," Kate commented, "think things are turning back to normal?"

Jack snorted.

"Normal," he repeated, running over the definition of the word in his head, "if you can call it that."

Rolling over, Jack placed his hands behind his head, trying to relax before his day was forced to begin. Once again the position of conversation starter fell on him, and Jack was blank. Noticing Kate was tensing up beside him, clearly uncomfortable with the silence, Jack blurted out the first topic that came to mind.

"Sometime we're going to have to check out some trails," he announced, "looking for..you know..bodies."

Today just wasn't his day.

"But it doesn't have to be soon," Jack added quickly, feeling bad about bringing up the rough topic, "and you don't have to help, if you don't want to. I mean, it might be dangerous, plus if you're uncomfortable with the whole dead people thing-"

"It's fine," Kate said, interrupted Jack's rambling, "I'll go."

Jack wanted to protest, the response had come a little too quickly for his liking, and he knew it wouldn't be the most pleasant of experiences, but that was also exactly why he wanted her to come. It wasn't a task he wanted to do alone, and even if he had the entirety of the camp with him, it wouldn't of been like having Kate there, which sounded disturbing considering what the job was.

"Okay then," Jack said, looking up to the ceiling.

A couple outside the caves greeted each other, louder than necessary, and a few groans responded. Jack chuckled to himself. Beside him, he noticed Kate was still distant, as if something were still on her mind. Suddenly, the topic Jack had been looking for all morning came to him. The thing that was on his mind. Jack readjusted so that he was laying on his side again, watching Kate as she stared down at the floor.

"Look, last night.." Jack stopped, hesitating to continue. What if she had just been talking in her sleep? What if she had just been so out of it, or so in the moment, that she hadn't meant it? Jack didn't want to be hurt, but he didn't want to keep wondering either. "Last night you told me that you loved me."

Silence. That was it. His fears were confirmed. She hadn't meant it. Maybe she hadn't even known she said it. And now..now he had brought up this subject, this really big thing, this life changing subject, that they were really in no position to talk about right now.

"I know," Kate said quietly, still staring down at the floor.

Jack was taken by surprise. Kate didn't sound regretful, but her voice sounded so small and soft spoken that Jack knew he shouldn't be jumping to any final conclusions. Beside him, Kate swallowed.

"I mean it," she said.

Jack's heart leapt. He felt like doing summersaults, cartwheels, dancing. Hell, he would've even discoed if he had the music. She loved him. She still loved him. Somebody loved him..A smile must've escaped his lips, because Kate raised an eyebrow at him. He hadn't even noticed she had looked up. Jack reddened a little in embarrassment, but refused to let it bother him. Now was his time to be happy.

"I love you, Jack Shepherd," Kate said again, this time more confidently.

And Jack knew she really did mean it. He held her gaze for a moment, and almost kissed her when he realized what she just said.

"Wait," Jack said suddenly, "how do you know my last name?"

Kate's eyes twinkled.

"I have my ways."

Jack smiled again, and kissed her. He had to lean down slightly, since even at a laying position, Kate was still a few centimeters shorter than he was. The fact that he never said "I love you back" didn't occur to him until later on.

"We have to tell Jack," a voice said from outside the caves.

It was Sayid's voice. He was talking loudly with someone right by the opening to his cave, so it was obvious they were trying to get his attention. An eye opened, but when Jack saw that Kate didn't look like she was planning on breaking the kiss anytime soon, he closed it, trying to push the voices out of his mind.

"Jack has enough on his shoulders," Shannon's voice said.

Wow, Shannon was defending him?

"Where is he, anyway?" She continued.

"Probably still sleeping, you know, with Kate."

Jack made a mental note to thank Hurley later for noting that.

"Jack!" Sayid called into the caves.

But he should've known it wouldn't of mattered. The kiss broke.

"You've got to be kidding me," Jack said, irritable.

"Ignore them," Kate said, placing a hand on Jack's cheek.

She tried to pull him in for a second kiss, but Jack was already getting to his feet, slinging the blanket away in frustration. Trust the island's problems to ruin his perfect moment.

"What?" Jack demanded, storming out of the cave.

The three who were talking, Hurley, Sayid, and Shannon, looked stunned, as if they never thought they'd see Jack angry.

"Uh.." Hurley finally began, glancing towards Sayid, "you know that thing I was worried about last night? Where I didn't know if I should tell or not?"

Jack sighed, and nodded, hands on his hips. Kate approached from behind him, flashing a fake smile. Why hadn't he thought of that?

"What's going on?" She asked.

"You see.." Hurley sounded still unsure of confessing, even as he went on with the story, "Charlie and Claire are kind of..gone."

Hurley stopped short. Jack stared at him in disbelief.

"What?" He finally said.

His mouth stayed agape.

"Claire had this dream," Hurley was now talking in a rush, sounding both desperate and apologetic, "something about her baby being alive and the Black Rock. Charlie was going to take her there."

This wasn't happening. Charlie wasn't that stupid.

"No," Jack said, shaking his head, "no..."

He began pacing the ground. This was a sign. Things were turning dark again.

"He said they'd be back by dark, but they weren't!"

It was the first time he had ever seen Hurley hysterical, and Jack couldn't say that he was fond of it. Once Hurley entered the banned of depressed psychos, there was no hope for anyone.

"Hurley, calm down."

Jack turned around in surprise at hearing Kate's voice.

"I'm sure they're okay," she said kindly, giving Hurley a smile.

Hurley calmed down a little.

Jack looked back at Kate in amazement and admiration. How was she so calm? Surely Kate knew the serious of the situation, that anything could've happen to Charlie and Claire. Yet she still was able to hold her cool, and even though there was a great chance of danger ahead of them, was able to calm down everyone else too. Jack inhaled deeply, and slowly let it out, using Kate's hope to guide him through his search party speech.

"Did they mention anything else?" Jack asked him. "Anything?"

"No," Hurley said truthfully.

Jack sighed. This wasn't good. There was no way of knowing if the two had already been to the Black Rock, at the place, or were still on their way. If one of them was hurt, venturing off in different directions without knowing anything definete would worsen things. Time would be wasting. Time was being wasted. They had to move. Jack turned to Sayid.

"Find someone else who's willing to go," Jack told him, "Locke, Danielle, anyone you can find. I've got to get the guns from the gun case."

"Jack.." Kate's hand fell on his shoulder as she spoke, "we got rid of the gun case two months ago."

Jack blinked. He honestly couldn't remember that happening. Rubbing his eyes, Jack tried to convince himself that it was only because of exhaustion.

"Right," Jack said quickly.

He offered no more, hoping that Sayid would leave before he'd embarrass himself any further. After exchanging glances with Kate, he did leave. Jack sighed in relief; it was only him and Kate now.

"Dude, why can't I go?"

Oh yeah, and Hurley. Jack realized he never considered that possibility.

"Do you want to go?" He asked him.

"No," Hurley admitted.

Jack managed a weak smile.

"We should be back before it gets dark," he told Hurley, sliding back into leader mode.

"Where have I heard that one before?" Hurley muttered underneath his breath.

Kate smiled at Hurley as he walked off, and turned to Jack. He looked around, not sure if he should ask what he needed to. But he knew time was running out, and Sayid would be coming back with their mystery guest any moment.

"Who has the guns?" Jack asked at last.

Kate stared at him, face first pale in surprise, then contorted into confusion, and then softened into concern.

"You do," she answered quietly.

"Oh."

Jack looked down to avoid Kate's eyes.

"Who uh.." he cleared his throat, "who has the rest of them? I know I don't have all of them."

"I think Alex has one," Kate said after thinking about it for a moment, "in fact, she might have two. And now that I think about it-" she smiled a little, "the entire Rousseau family might have up to four guns."

"And yet we're not afraid," Jack mused.

"And the daughter's psychic," Kate said with a wink.

Jack accidentally blocked Kate out as he realized what she just said. His eyes searched the caves, hoping to find Alex. Finally he spotted her by the waterfall, engulfed in a mean battle with her hair as she tried to untangle it, all while having to listen to some castaway that he was sure neither he nor Alex knew very well ramble on about something.

"Hold on," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder before approaching Alex.

"And so I ask the guy, why can't I borrow the book, I mean, it's not like he was reading it, and he says to me-"

"Can I borrow her for a minute?" Jack interrupted.

The man blinked.

"Sure," he said, and walked off, still ranting under his breath.

Jack raised an eyebrow.

"What's his problem?" He asked.

"I don't know," Alex said, "but you're a savior. Hold this."

She didn't give Jack a chance to argue before shoving a hairbrush into his hands. Taking the scrunchy she had been holding in between her teeth, Alex quickly put up her hair, fixing it in a ponytail.

"This thing will fall out before noon," Alex complained, "I don't know why I even bother-" satisfied with her hair, Alex dropped her hands, "what did you need?"

Jack couldn't help but to notice that Alex looked better than she had been. She was really progressing in the recovering process, and Jack could truthfully say that he was proud of her.

"Charlie and Claire are missing," Jack said, snapping out of his daze, "and I was wondering if you could tell me if you've..you know, seen anything."

"Sorry," Alex said.

"Not even 'Jack trips over a log at a quarter 'till three'?" Jack said desperately.

"Nothing," Alex said, deep in thought, "actually, during the past few days, my mind's been acting weird. I haven't seen anything, or anyone, for that matter. Even my memory's been off. Yesterday I went down to the beach looking for Michael."

She met eyes with Jack. He didn't know what to say to that, so he just stood quietly, trying to think of something to say to her.

"I'm sorry," Alex said, shaking her head, "I shouldn't have.."

"No," Jack said quickly, "I'm glad you did."

He offered Alex a smile. She tried to return it, but failed.

"Was there anything else you wanted?" Alex said after another moment of silence drifted by.

Jack remembered the guns.

"Yeah," he said, "can I borrow a gun?"

Alex raised an eyebrow.

"For the search party," Jack added quickly.

"Oh," Alex said in a single breath, "can I go?"

"What?" Jack said, startled.

"If you're using my gun, shouldn't I be able to go?" Alex crossed her arms.

"We might be gone for awhile," Jack said, despite what he told Hurley before, "it's not safe out there."

"But you're still going," Alex pointed out, "and you're taking Kate, right?"

Jack shook his head.

"That's not point," Jack said, "it's dangerous. End of story."

"I'm not a kid!" Alex exclaimed, infuriated.

He really didn't want to argue about this right now, because Jack knew he wouldn't be able to hold up a very good debate. It was true, Alex had gone through more in the past four months than most people went through in their lives.

"Can I have the gun or not?" Jack said wth a sigh.

Alex grabbed her bag from the ground, digging to the bottom until she found the gun and thrust it into Jack's chest.

"There's only three bullets left," Alex told him, "I think Sayid's got the other gun. Shouldn't you have one?"

"Yeah," Jack nodded, making sure the gun's safety was off. He noticed Alex was staring at the gun, as if she didn't want to let it go. "Something wrong?"

Alex shook herself out of her daze.

"No," she said, clearly lying, "just..don't lose it, okay?"

"I won't," Jack promised.

Returning her gaze to the gun, Alex looked at it a moment later, before shaking her head again and grabbing her bag.

"I'm going to the beach," she announced.

Footsteps approached behind Jack as Alex left.

"What's with her?" Kate asked, appearing beside him.

"I don't know."

But after thinking about it, Jack realized he did know. It must've been Adam's gun he took. Suddenly Jack hated himself. He knew there were only a few items of reminder that Alex still had of him, and here Jack was, taking them away.

"We should probably get ready to go," Kate said, breaking him from his thoughts, "you know, get some water. Warm up stretches. Prepare the first aid kit."

Laughing, Kate gave Jack a slap on the back before making her way towards the waterfall.

(space)

A loud chirp awoke Sawyer that morning, welcoming him to another day on the island.

"Would someone shut that thing up?" Sawyer grunted hatefully.

"What am I, your animal catcher now?" An amused voice said.

The familiar campsite came into view as Sawyer's eyes slowly opened. Last night he remembered falling asleep against a tree, Rebecca in his arms, but now Rebecca was up, and Sawyer was flat on the ground, his head uncomfortably scrunched up against the bark.

"Did you know you snore?" Rebecca said. "Here."

Sawyer looked at what he was being offered: boar meat.

"Locke just finished cleaning it about an hour ago," Rebecca told him, "it should still be hot."

He tried to remember the last time he ate meat. It was before all this monster stuff began happening again, before Jack found out what happened with him and Kate. Before he and Kate even happened. His stomach growled in stubbornness, and he could feel his mouth water.

"Thanks," he said, taking the meat.

Rebecca gave it to him with her bare hands, but he was so hungry he didn't care where she had been storing it.

"Thanks for saving me some," Rebecca said, sounding hurt.

Sawyer was already halfway through the second piece. There were only four.

"You've got to be kidding me," Sawyer said through a mouth of food.

Rebecca laughed.

"Don't worry," she said, "I ate thirty minutes ago. You sleep late."

"No I don't," Sawyer said defensively as he tore into the third piece of boar, "you just get up early."

"How many times have I heard that before?" Rebecca muttered, rolling her eyes.

She watched as Sawyer literally tore apart the meat, like a dog who had been left alone with the 4rth of July barbecue grille.

"You're disgusting," she said, watching him in awe, "you eat like a pig."

"Sorry," Sawyer said, as unapologetic as you could get, "guess you missed the part where I've been living on berries and bananas for the past two weeks. I've had to eat like a monkey."

"Glad to see your attitudes finally caught up with your looks and behavior," Rebecca teased.

Sawyer glared at her.

"Do you even want me to get started on what you look like?" He challenged.

"From what I remember, I'm beautiful," Rebecca said exasperatedly, mocking Sawyer from the previous night.

"Cute," Sawyer mumbled, "would you had me that water?"

"It's old," Rebecca reminded him.

"I don't care."

"Your health," she shrugged, and handed him the half-empty bottle that had been laying in the sand.

As he downed the liquid, Sawyer cursed himself for his pride. The water was not only warm, but tasted awlful. It took everything he had not to spit it back out. Across from him, Rebecca giggled. Sawyer just glared.

"Thank God," said someone, approaching their camp from behind.

Sawyer turned and Rebecca watched as Sayid walked up to them. He wanted to yell at the man for interrupting their morning, but he remembered Rebecca was nearby.

"Charlie and Claire are missing," Sayid told them, "we need one more person for a search party. I haven't been able to find anyone else."

He couldn't believe it. Another day in the jungle was the last thing he needed. Sawyer planned to spend the next year on the beach, doing nothing. He should've known it wouldn't of been that easy.

"Please," Sayid pleaded.

The world had turned upside down. Now even Sayid seemed to be losing his demanding meanor. Everyone around him seemed to be falling in love or falling apart.

"You should go," Rebecca said, breaking the silence.

Sawyer's head spun around so fast that it began to pound.

"What?" He exclaimed.

Was she trying to torture him? Or maybe trying to get rid of him.

"They need someone to go," Rebecca explained, "what plans did you have anyway?"

"Well we'll never know, will we?" Sawyer shot.

Neither Sayid nor Rebecca were amused.

"Fine," Sawyer said with a grunt, "I guess I get absolutely no say in what I do around here."

Rebecca watched him sympathetically as he got to his feet, and handed him his bag. He kissed her, momentarily forgetting Sayid was there. Behind them, Sayid cleared his throat.

"We should get back to the caves," Sayid sounded slightly embarrassed, "Jack'll be waiting."

Sawyer reluctantly broke the kiss, and the last thing he got before leaving was a whisper from Rebecca:

"Be safe."

(space)

"Sayid!" Shannon called excitedly as she ran up to him on the beach.

Her face fell when she saw he was with Sawyer.

"I'll meet you at the caves," Sawyer muttered bitterly, and left.

Sayid glanced towards him as he went, thinking that Sawyer actually sounded a little jealous of the time Sayid was going to get to spend with Shannon before leaving. Shannon's broad smile brought his attention back to her, and just like that, the theories on Sawyer and worries of the hunting party were gone.

"Hello," Sayid returned.

Shannon leaned forward, kissing him, though she broke it quickly. She was clearly excited about something.

"You seem happy," Sayid commented.

He felt guilty, worried that whatever the reason for her happiness was concerned him spending the day with her. It wasn't very often that Shannon was happy or excited about something, so he knew it must be big.

"Yeah," Shannon said, "I was actually just about to go see Boone."

Sayid's face fell. The one time Shannon was in a good mood, it didn't have anything to do with him. He wasn't ashamed to admit that he was hurt.

"And I'm going to tell him right out," Shannon continued, waving her hands along with the conversation, "I don't care how depressed he is, or whatever the hell he's going through, he needs a life. And I'm going to help him."

Sayid's eyes narrowed in curiousity.

"How are you going to do that?" He asked.

Shannon's eyes twinkled.

"I'm going to get him a girlfriend," Shannon announced proudly.

Sayid just stared at her.

"Like..setting him up?" Sayid said slowly, unsure of the idea.

A friend had done him the honor of setting him up when he was young. It didn't go well.

"Ever heard of a blind date?" Shannon said, grinning mischieviously.

Distantly, Sayid remembered the term, but something told him he didn't want to be reminded of the meaning.

"As much as I love your plan," Sayid said, putting his hands on Shannon's shoulders, "I'll be gone for the day."

This time Shannon's face fell.

"What?" She said, sounding heartbroken. "Why?"

Sayid picked his words carefully.

"Charlie and Claire may be in trouble," he explained, "we're going to go look for them."

Shannon looked as if though she didn't know what to think or say.

"I'm sure they're fine," Sayid added quickly, "it's just a precaution."

Shannon glanced towards the jungle, as if she expected to see something there. She then adverted her eyes towards the ground, and looked back up towards Sayid.

"How long will you be gone?" She asked.

When he saw Shannon's look of sadness, a look pleading for him not to go, Sayid regretted agreeing to go on the hike.

"We'll be back before nightfall," Sayid promised her. A thought suddenly came to him and Sayid gave Shannon a smile. "And then we can double date with Boone and his..new friend."

Shannon giggled and looked down to the ground as her face redenned.

"Trust me," she said, "Boone doesn't do blind dates."

Sayid chuckled.

"Then I wish you the best of luck," Sayid said, and leaned in for a kiss goodbye.

(space)

The four members of the search party were gathered at the caves, ready to go. Sayid's gun didn't have anymore bullets, and altogether they only had eight. Jack had wanted to give Alex back Adam's gun and take Sayid's(switching out the bullets), but he wasn't able to find her in time.

"We'll take the west trail to the ship," Sayid was saying, only ten minutes later, "if we're lucky, they'll realize their mistake and meet us on the path there."

"Since when does anyone on this island realize their mistakes?" Sawyer muttered.

Kate glared, and Sayid and Jack exhanged glances of annoyance.

"If not, when we divide into pairs when we get to the Black Rock," Sayid went on, ignoring Sawyer's comment, "one gun per pair. We'll divide up the bullets."

"Got your code of conduct for us to sign, Srg.?" Sawyer snapped, irritable.

Kate rolled her eyes, and glanced towards Jack, who didn't return her amusment.

"Let's go," Sayid said, standing up from where he had been sitting on the ground.

(space)

The dream was still on Boone's mind. He was still having trouble wrapping his mind around it, wondering if it was really worth the trouble to see if it was true. During every waking hour since the dream, the numbers ran through his head, the code. Boone debated about rather or not to tell Sayid, and if he should be telling Locke about what they found. It the occured to him that Locke probably had been going back to the hatch everyday, only to find a crashed computer and tunnel..he could be underneath them at the very moment.

Tearing off the end of a hanging tree limb, Boone made his way down the path towards the cave. He wasn't used to having time to spend doing whatever he wanted, so the time was mostly spent walking around, or catching up on sleep. Locke hadn't even spoken to him in three days.

"I couldn't find Alex this morning."

Boone stopped at the voice. Danielle.

"I think she went back to the caves," Danielle continued.

"I'm sure she's fine."

Locke.

"I worry about her," Danielle confessed, "this island's not safe, especially for a sixteen year old."

Locke chuckled.

"I'm sure she's fine," he repeated, "she seems to have a good handle on things."

Danielle heaved a sigh. Obviuously she thought different.

"She knows she's your daughter," Locke went on, "she'll never just abandoned you."

"Why wouldn't she?" Through the trees, Boone could see that Danielle was looking up at Locke, her eyes sad. "I did the same to her."

"But do you regret it?" Locke asked wisely.

There was a short pause before Danielle's answer.

"Of course."

"Have you told her that?" Locke said.

Danielle hesitated.

"No."

"I think you should," Locke said.

There was another short pause.

"I also think you should be with her at the caves, instead of out here with me," Locke added with a smile, "not that I don't want you around."

A small smile crept on Danielle's face.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

Boone wished he had walked away then. In fact, he wished he had run when he first heard the conversation start. He wished for nothing more at that moment to be somewhere, anywhere else on the island than where he was standing right now. Danielle leaned up, and gave Locke what Boone thought for sure was supposed to be a quick kiss of thanks, but instead, it depened. Maybe Locke was reading her wrong. Truthfully, Boone didn't want to know. When he was finally able to pull himself out of one of the most horrific shocks of his life, Boone ran, and didn't stop until he reached the caves.

(space)

"So, think this is it?" Charlie asked Claire.

The two hiked all day and night, constantly taking wrong turns. Charlie was exhausted, and he knew Claire was too, but she refused to stop for anything except a couple of water breaks Charlie forced on her. Finally, after hours of travel, they were standing in front of what they were sure had to be the Black Rock. After all, it was a huge ship with Black Rock written on it in huge, bold, letters.

"Yeah," said Claire happily, taking a step towards the ship, "it must be. I kind of remember it too."

"Genius," Charlie commented, "remembering a place you've already been to. Shame you can't remember how to get there though."

Claire glared at him.

"Let's get this over with, shall we?" Charlie said, examining the ship. "How do you think we're going to go about geting ourselves in there?"

Claire studied the ship a moment longer, and then smiled.

"Follow me."

(space)

Jack was thankful for the days' cool, overcast, weather, knowing conditions could be worse. He knew Sayid was well-trained in this search and rescue stuff, and Kate herself was proved to be something of a traker, but without maps or compasses, Jack's level of anxiety rose. You can never be too careful. Jack snorted when he remembered the gun that was tucked into his beltloop, knocking against his leg with each step he took. If that wasn't a safety hazard, he didn't know what was.

He could at least feel safe knowing Kate was walking beside him, where, if something were to happen, she'd be right there under his protection. Not that Jack didn't think Kate was capable of taking care of herself, he just liked knowing he could too. It helped his anxiety greatly.

"Sawyer and Sayid don't look too happy to be here," Kate said, glancing towards the two men walking in front of them. "I think they miss their girlfriends."

Jack laughed.

"I'm sure that's it," he said lightly, "I think Sawyer's just planning the easiest way to smuggle out some rum from the ship."

As they both laughed, Jack stole a glance towards Kate, watching her. He knew he still owed her an "I love you", and wondered if she was worrying about that. Was she afraid she didn't love him? Jack wanted to reassure her now, tell her what he needed to say, but he knew this wasn't the right time. Definetly not with Sawyer there, at least.

"It should be just up ahead," Sayid informed them.

"How the hell do you know that?" Sawyer inquired. "Thought you lost your maps."

Kate smiled at Sawyer's comment. If it bothered Sayid, he didn't show it. At word of nearing the ship, Jack remembered something Sayid said earlier.

"So does this mean we're spliting up?" Jack asked.

"Maybe I should go with Sawyer," Kate said quietly, before Sayid could reply.

Jack looked at her in surprised.

"What?" He said, slightly hurt.

"Do you really want to hear those two arguing the entire time?" Kate said. "We'll never find Charlie and Claire."

Jack could see her point, but he still didn't like it. Even though Sawyer assumingly was with his own girl now, Jack wasn't sure he could fully trust him.

"Then I'll go with Sawyer," Jack offered, though he wasn't too keen on that idea either.

The familiar wreckage of the Black Rock came into view as Kate shook her head, taking an immediate dislike to the suggestion.

"I don't want to have to carry Sawyer back in a body bag either," Kate said.

She grinned at Jack.

"I'm sure your fist knows Sawyer's face pretty well by now, huh?"

"Unfortuently," Jack said dully.

"You go with Kate," Sayid called back to them, interrupting their argument, "I'll go with him."

Jack looked down to Kate, smirking in defeat.

"Guess that solves it," he said cheerfully.

"You just go lucky," Kate said.

But she still didn't protest, Jack noted.

When they reached the front of the ship, Sayid stopped.

"You two go that way," Sayid said, pointing left, "search the exterior and surrounding areas, "we'll take the interior."

Sawyer didn't seem too thrilled about that, but Jack figured he hadn't remembered the large amount of alcohol the ship held. The group parted, and Jack took out the gun.

"So if you were Charlie," Kate said, sounding like she was enjoying herself, "and you found a ship sitting in the middle of the jungle, where would you go first?"

Jack was about to say something sarcastic about guitars and music, when he heard a crash from nearby. Both he and Kate stopped abruptly.

"Think that was Sayid and Sawyer?" She said, enthusiasm gone.

"I don't think so," Jack said in a low tone, "stay close."

He stuck the gun out slightly further as they crept around the edge of the ship, and only Kate's heavy and slow breaths could assure him that she was okay. A large hole in the ship came into view as they reached the vessel's rear, and Jack remembered blowing it through what seemed like years ago. Another small crash comfirmed it was the source ot the sound. Jack stopped, and turned to Kate.

"I'm going to check it out," he told her, "you stay out here-" he handed Kate the gun, "keep this, but be careful."

Kate took the gun, but shook her head.

"I'm going with you," she proclaimed.

"No," Jack protested, "I don't want you-"

"I'm the criminal here, Jack," Kate interrupted, "I mean, I've robbed a bank before. I know these situations. If anyone's going in, it should be me."

Jack decided to leave out the robbing the bank part. Hopefully, she'd explain later when she realized he didn't know about that.

"I've been kidnapped on this island more times than Boone and Locke have actually brought us back something to eat on all those boar hunts," Jack pointed out, "I don't even think I could begin to count the times. Whoever's in there, I probably know him anyway."

Kate looked doubtful.

"Most likely it's just a-" Jack thought quickly, "squirrel."

He was glad to see that made Kate smile.

"And I've got the hunting experience, right?" Jack gave Kate a half-smile. This time, Kate didn't protest. "If I'm not back in ten minutes, go find Sayid and Sawyer."

"What if you yell?" Kate asked.

The question caught him off-guard.

"Wait until I yell twice."

He said it lightly, but he meant it. Jack leaned in to kiss her, but Kate put a hand out to stop him.

"Please," she said, "don't make this like one of those sappy, going off to war movies."

Jack let out a laugh, and then forced himself to get serious. He took a few steps towards the whole, which served as an entry way to the lower deck of the ship. Before entering, he peeked in, looking around inside.The room was dark, damp, and clustered. Boxes were sprown about, as if someone were searching for someting. Jack had to duck as something was slung his way.

"Hello?" He asked slowly, unsure.

What a way to announce your presense, Jack.

"Who's there?" The voice was gruff, coming from the far side of the room.

Jack didn't answer. All his instincts were telling him to run for the door, but his muscles weren't listening.

"Who's there?" The voice said again.

A light was shone in Jack's eyes. So maybe the person wasn't so far away.

"Who are you?" The voice demanded.

Jack was too shocked by the presense of another being in the ship to responed. This definetly wasn't Charlie or Claire. The light lowered, and Jack could barely make out the outline of a man.

"Where are you from?" He was asked.

Jack finally found his voice.

"I'm.." Jack studdered, "I crashed here. Four months ago-" he remembered the new year, "five now, I guess."

There was a pause.

"What's your name?"

"Jack."

Had he had more time to think, he would've came up with a fake name. He was sure that's what Kate would've done.

"'ello Jack," the man stepped back, "I'm David."

The gruffness in the man's- David's- voice was gone. He actually seemed happy to see Jack.

"Welcome to my ship," he said, waving his arms towards the shelf-lined walls, "make yourself at home. You alone?"

"Actually-" Jack stopped. He wasn't sure if he wanted this guy around Kate. "Yeah."

"Grand," David said, giving Jack the wackiest grin he had ever see, "you wanna have a seat?"

He wanted to get back at Kate, but when David shifted weight, Jack could see a rifle leaning against a box next to him. At the sight of the gun he froze, and the situation took a turn for the worse.

"Problem?" David asked him.

Jack cleared his throat, trying to get a hold of himself.

"No," Jack lied, voice shaking a little.

"Drink?" He was asked next.

"I..uh..I don't drink," Jack told him.

In his mind, Jack was trying to think of the quickest and most efficient plan of escape. The only idea that came to mind was turning and running as fast as he could for camp, grabbing Kate as he went.

He heard something pop, and Jack watched as David took a large swig of what looked like rum. The guy reminded him of a pirate version of Sawyer.

"So where're you from, Jack?" David asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hands.

Jack had already told him about the crash, so he assumed he meant before that.

"The states," Jack replied.

He knew he couldn't trust the guy, and even if they were never going to get rescued, Jack wasn't about to give him directions to his apartment.

"America, huh?" David said with a snort. "Never met an American here. Met a nice French girl though. Real sweet, sixteen, maybe."

Jack's eyes widened in the dim light of the lower deck, which looked more like a basement than a ship. He had to be talking about Alex.

"What were you doing with her?" Jack suddenly felt the need to be protective, almost brother-like.

David shrugged.

"Just talkin'," David replied, "that must've been-" David looked up to the ceiling, craning his kneck; his eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head, "-a month ago? Before all this happened, anyhow."

David was beginning to remind Jack of Charlie, back when he had been a drug addict.

"All this?" Jack repeated.

David's eyes lit up.

"Things change, man," David said, slurred, "people come and go. Things happen. Things happen to you. You see things. Bad things. Things are found. Things die-" he stopped after 'die', eyes so wide, they were almost out of their sockets, and focused tightly on Jack, "they die, Jack. But I didn't die. I ran. I should've ran years ago-" he let out a snort, "-I'm not even sure which side I'm on anymore. I'm not even sure who I am. What I am."

Jack's face contorted in confussion. Did this guy even know what he was talking about? Forgetting the gun nearby, Jack decided that it was time he started asking questions.

"Where are you from, David?" Jack inquired.

David leaned back a little on the seat he was sitting on, which was really just a wooden create turned upside down. He rocked back and forth, taking the create with him.

"I'm from here," David said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "this is my ship. My ship. I own it. I..it's my ship."

"But.." Jack remembered the date on the side of the ship, "this ship's from the 1800s. It's not possible."

David leaned forward in his seat, a little too close for Jack's liking.

"I know," he whispered, "but I didn't die. I know it."

Jack stood up apruptly, making David jump.

"What the hell are you-"

"Jack?" A voice asked from behind them.

Dammit.

He definetly didn't want Kate in here now. This guy obviously wasn't right in the head. David stood up, and their distance apart became only centemeters. Reaching behind him, David grabbed the gun, and brought it forward, holding it with an unatural grip.

"I thought you said you were alone!" David hissed.

"I-" Jack studdered, quickly thinking.

"Get over there!" David demanded, waving the gun towards the far wall.

Jack didn't budge.

"Move!"

Using the gun to prod him along, David ushered Jack to the far side of the room. It was only then that Jack realized he was now in the shadows, where Kate would be unable to see him. He watched, furious, as David squinted towards the light, to where Kate's shadow was.

"Get in here!" David's gruff tone was back.

He was relieved when Kate didn't obey, but then became nervous: what if David planned to hurt her?

"Where's Jack?" Kate demanded, hands placed firmly on either side of the walkway into the ship.

"Get in here."

"Where's Jack!"

Jack tensed as David stepped closer to Kate, closing in the space between them. He could tell Kate was uncomfortable, and he didn't like the way he was approaching her. Jack didn't like the fact that David- or it could've been any guy, really- was approaching her, and he didn't want to just charge at the guy, not when he had a loaded gun. Looking around desperatly, Jack searched for something, anything, that could help him. Then he noticed a box of marbles laying next to him: black and white marbles. Why they were there, Jack wasn't even sure he wanted to know. David spun around at the sound of the first marble hitting the floor.

"You wanna come out?" David yelled to Jack.

He did. Stepping out of the shadows, Jack watched as Kate's face first softened in relief, and then grew in conern. She subconsiously took a step towards Jack. The gun was immeditaly pointed into her face.

"So what are you two, like a couple?" David smirked. "That's real sweet. Honestly. I love to see a young couple in love. But you know what, it doesn't matter here-" his eyes grew wide again, "-not now. And now..now-" David shook his head, "what the hell did you do?"

Jack found himself growing more serious with each word David said. David was breathing hard now.

"And if it happens to you too.." David's eyes were glued to the ground, boring into the floorboards of the ship. He looked up quickly, eyes dashing in between Jack and Kate. "Are you two in love?"

Jack and Kate exchanged glances, unsure of what to say. Finally, Jack nodded, and Kate followed.

"Yeah," she said quietly.

Now more than ever Jack wanted to get Kate away from here, or at least be able to make sure she was okay. Slowly Jack reached for Kate's hand, but David caught him.

"Tie her up," David commanded.

The gun was now pointed at Jack, who was startled, frozen. David reached into the darkness, and pulled a wooden chair out into the light. Bending down, Jack watched David in confussion, wonering what he was doing, but when he realized it, he was even more confused. David was untying his right shoe. Jack kicked at him, but David was stronger than he expected, and held his foot down with a fist.

At last he stood up, holding the lengthy shoestring in his hand like he had discovered a secret chemical. Jack's shoe now felt slightly lighter, and wider. Was he really planning on tying Kate up with a shoestring? As if he had read Jack's mind, at that moment, David threw down the shoe string. Kate flinched beside him as David stomped his foot down, and with his foot, and squished the string until it was embedded into a lose floorboard. He then grabbed a box nearby, and leaft through it. Jack and Kate were too confussed to try and play out any plan of action. Spinning back around, David thrust a long, sturdy, piece of rope into Jack's hands. He waved the gun towards the chair.

"Tie her up," David said again.

"No."

That was really all Jack had to say. This guy was insane. If Kate wasn't here, Jack would be convinced that he was seeing things. David had no motive to do what he was doing, and there was no way he was going to obey.

"Tie. Her. Up."

Now the gun was pointed at Kate. Jack was furious at himself for not seeing that coming, and for not being able to do anything. He had just stood there, frozen, like an idiot. One voice in his head even reminded him that Sawyer would've jumped on the guy already. Hell, David would probably be dead by now. The tip of the gun was now pressed into Kate's cheek. Kate glanced quickly at Jack, eyes full of fear. Still she nodded. Jack quickly shook his head no.

"You better listen to your girl, man," David said.

He actually sounded like he was enjoying himself. Jack was disgusted. But the gun was digging dangerously into Kate's skin, now pressing hard enough against it to leave a mark. Jack relucantly took the rope. As soon as he did, David grabbed Kate's arm, and shoved her into the chair. The weight of Kate's body caused the chair to slide back a little, almost flipping back.

"Go ahead," David said, ushering him towards Kate with the gun.

Jack briefly wondered why Kate wasn't doing anything, but she wasn't superhuman. Even Kate had the right to be afraid, especially in these kinds of situations. Glancing towards her sympathetically, Jack swore he even saw a flash of terror on Kate's face, but it was erased too quickly to be sure. With a deep breath, Jack stepped behind the chair. Slowly, Kate's hands appeared behind the back of it. Jack was expecting for Kate to take action at any moment, but she never did. Maybe it was because the gun was still pointed at her.

"Get on with it!" David exclaimed impaciently.

Jack closed his eyes, and picked up one of Kate's hands. They were ice cold. He gave it a squeeze, and rubbed his thumb soothingly on it as he brought the rope around, and place it on her wrist. Kate flinched at the touch. Jack remembered long ago when he first was trying to get Kate to move to the caves. The theory that it was the clausttraphobia of the caves that drew her away had come across him, and Jack was considering it now. It was the fear of getting caught. Of losing her freedom. Being tied up was pretty much the equivalent of being locked up in a cell. No wonder she was too in shock to say or do anything.

"I've seen studies that say the guy's most likely to crack quicker if it's his girl on the line," David said with a crule smirk, "guess it's true, huh?"

That was it. With a swift, strong, force, Jack brought his hand around, preparing himself for the impact of his knuckles cracking against David's jaw. Instead, David caught his fist, catching him off guard. He pulled Jack's arm back with his, causing a muscle in his shoulder to pop, and then threw him backwards. Jack dropped the rope in surprise of the defense. David grabbed the rope from the ground in one quick movement, and hurridly began tying up Kate. The process only took him seconds, and David wasn't as gently as Jack. His hands were clearly rougher as well. Before Jack could get to him in time, David stepped in front of Kate, and swung a fist around, smashing it right into the skin where the gun had been, oposite of the cheek Jack had hit.

Kate's head snapped to the side, and Jack heard a small cry of pain as her cheek slowly began turning dark shades of red.

"That was from you're boyfriend," David said with a snarl.

Looking up, he grinned at Jack.

Suddenly all his senses came back to him. Outraged, Jack darted forward, but before he got his chance, Kate kicked out in fury at David. But just like Jack's fist, David caught her foot with ease, and threw both Kate and the chair back, sending them crashing against the wall. Jack was grabbed against his will, and thrown out into the jungle. In the mist of the fight, Jack had almost forgotten where he was.

David stormed back inside as Jack was recovering, heading straight towards Kate. He brought his hand around, and Kate prepared herself for another blow. But instead of hitting her, David ripped off the sleeve of her shirt. She realized what he was doing a moment to late, and was only able to give out a small cry for help before the cloth was stuffed into her mouth. And then it was dark. Too dark. Pitch black. She had heard something rolling over the floor, as if it were being pushed, but was unable to see anything before the hole that provided the entrance to the ship was covered. And it left Kate and darkness. Kate hated the dark, and hated being trapped. She was afraid for herself, but even more afraid for Jack, who was now out of sight. Kate screamed for him, and then she screamed again. And again. And again. Jack's named echoed off the walls, repetivly bouncing from one end of the ship to the other. Not once did an answer come. She felt her eyes begin to water in fear for him, and Kate hated herself for being so week. Had this happened back when she was on the run, she could've taken the guy out in no time. But now..she had froze.

A flicker across the room caught her attention. Kate stopped screaming. The only thing audible now in the room were her deep, slow, breaths, which she faught to control. There was a second flicker, and Kate realized that what she was looking at was an image of something. The image flickered again, this time clearer. Kate's eyes grew wide when she was able to see what it was: a man. A man leaning against whatever had been pushed up against the hole. His head was rolled to the side, chin against his chest. He wasn't breathing.

"J-Jack?" Kate said, voice unsteady.

The man didn't answer. Something flickered in the darkness above him, and Kate nearly screamed. A noose appeared in thin air, and a rope appeared around his neck. Or maybe Kate just didn't notice them there before. Either way, there was a man sitting in a chair across from her, dead, with a rope tied around his neck. A man who was not there before. By now, Kate wasn't even able to scream. The cotton taste horrible in her mouth against her rough breaths. Closing her eyes hard, Kate prayed she was seeing things, but when she opened them, the image was still there. Kate tried to scream, but no sound came, not even a muffled one. The image flickered again, and then it was gone.

**Author's Note: **I am soooo sorry that took so long to get out! I just haven't been able to get on. So I hope the longitivity of this chapter made up for it. Oh, and it's almost 4:15 in the morning, and I really don't feel like spell checking all of this, so please bare with me until I'm able to. If there's any major mistakes in here, however, please let me know. Now let's talk length. Would you guys rather me make this story as long as I can, like a full-length fic(20+ chapters), or go ahead and cut to the main ending climax? It can work either way. Thanks sooo much for the reviews! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

So just who is this guy? Callum could tell you. Alex could too. And a Locke/Danielle relationship? Not exactly, but a small enough one for some to freak out over. Oh, and you'll see what the results of Shannon setting Boone up are.

Thanks again!

October Sky


	18. Search and Rescue

In the End

Chapter Eighteen

**Author's Notes:** Did Ross and Rachel get together in Friends? Please correct me if I'm wrong! (you'll see what I'm talking about in a minute)

**Chapter Eighteen:** Search and Rescue

Alex cursed as the spring to her cd player popped back up at her face. It was a miracle the small device survived the tortureus situations her bags had been through. For the first few months she put off trying to get it to work right, not being able to concentrate on the task with her mind always being elsewhere. But for some reason, today she literally woke up and thought 'I should fix a cd player today'. So she did. Or was trying to, at least.

"Having any luck, dude?" Hurley asked, sitting down beside her.

She smiled. Hurley's voice always seemed to be able to put a smile on anyone's face.

"No," Alex said, trying to hide her anger at the walkman.

"You can always use mine, if you want," Hurley offered, "I dunno, I figured it might be good to, you know, get your mind off of things, considering."

Alex turned towards him.

"Has Jack told you anything?" She asked slowly, beginning to feel even angrier.

"No," Hurley said, eyes widening. "No, I just thought that it might be good. Sorry, it was just an offer."

Alex sighed in relief. She didn't want everyone knowing what happened. It was already embarrassing enough that she was a psychic who could see every bad thing that happened to everyone else ahead of time, but as far as herself was concerned, she was clueless.

"I need something to do anyway," Alex recovered quickly.

"Oh," Hurley sounded disappointed, "mind if I uh..keep you company? We could like..talk..and stuff-" Alex raised an eyebrow, "not like that! I mean, we can just sit here. Or I can go-" Hurley's cheeks were slowly reddening, "yeah, I think I'll go."

"Guys!" A voice called.

Alex and Hurley turned at the call. Boone was heading towards him, out of breath and wearing a shirt full of sweat. They each watched, confused yet concerned, as Boone dropped to the ground beside them, exhausted.

"You'll never guess what I just saw," Boone said, breathing heavily.

Hurley eyed him.

"Dude, I don't think I want to know."

Alex road her eyes.

"Go ahead," she urged.

Boone met eyes with her, just realizing she was here. He looked reluctant to continue, but nevertheless cleared his throat, and spoke up, lowering his voice considering.

"Locke and Rousseau," Boone said, looking from Hurley to Alex. They stared at him, anxious for him to finish. "Kissing."

Alex's eyes widened.

"What?" She exclaimed, fighting to keep her voice down. "Are you serious?"

She never even saw the two together. Her mother never even spoke of Locke before. When did this happen.

"Yeah," Boone said with a laugh, "they looked really..together."

Alex snorted loudly. A few castaways talking near them glared, and then went back to their conversation.

"You know," Boone went on, "like they were meant to be or something. Like Jack and Kate."

"No," Alex said, laughing in disbelief at what she was hearing, "Jack and Kate are meant to be. Those two- my mom and Locke-" she shook her head, there were too many ways to describe what she was trying to say, "they shouldn't even be allowed in the same room."

"It's a good thing we're on the island then, isn't it?" Boone said. "Think about it, he's the lonely hunter, and she's the lonely chic who's been living on an island for six years. Like Jack and Kate. Jack and Rose. Ross and Rachel."

"Hanzel and Grettle," Hurley chimed in.

Boone stared at him.

"What?" Hurley said cluelessly.

Sighing, Boone shook his head.

"So you're actually what, rooting for them?" Alex said, incredulous.

Boone shrugged.

"It was disturbing at first," he admitted, "actually..down right scary, but think about it. They both deserve to be happy, right?"

"They _are_ happy," Alex said, desperate to change Boone's mind, "he's got his hunting thing, and she's got..me."

Alex realized how selfish she sounded, but she couldn't help it. She actually felt furious. Danielle spent sixteen years looking for her, and now that she had her daughter back, at times she didn't even seem to care.

"Are you sure you aren't just jealous?" Boone said.

Alex's mouth fell open.

"I..I.." she struggled to defend herself, "I am not jealous. She can have her own life. It's fine by me."

"But it's either you or him, right?"

Boone seemed to be enjoying himself. Alex, on the other hand, was furious.

"I'm not jealous," she repeated, "why the hell would I be, anyway?"

"Maybe because she's really happy and has a..guy friend..and you..don't," Hurley said slowly, as if he were afraid that Alex would pound him.

She felt like she was being ganged up on, and it made her feel like crying. They had no idea what it was like, they didn't know what was going on. They had no right to accuse her of anything.

"Forget it," Alex said with a huff, spinning back around in her seat and facing the wall.

Her almost-fixed walkman stared up at her as Alex looked down to the ground, resting her elbows on her knees. Sighing, she picked it up, and tried to concentrate on fixing it. But as she tried changing out the batteries for the hundredth time, Alex found herself thinking about what Boone said. Was she jealous? Or was she just really mad? Wasn't that the same thing? Alex shook herself out of it, and tried to get back to the task. She could still hear Hurley and Boone whispering beside her.

"You don't thin they're like..serious..do you?" Hurley said, trying very hard to keep a straight face.

Alex almost threw up.

"That's it," she said, standing up and shoving her walkman into her bag, "I need to go get some air..or a new mind or something. Seriously, grow up."

Hurley and Boone laughed as she walked off, disgusted, but just as she was leaving, a new voice caught her attention.

"I'll meet you tonight then," Locke was saying, "on the beach."

Alex's heart skipped a beat.

"Sure," Danielle replied in her usual quiet voice.

But Alex could detect something in her voice that she was sure no one else could. Danielle sounded like she was holding back something. Like something she didn't want her daughter to know.

Locke smiled at Danielle before leaving, and nearby, Hurley and Boone burst out laughing. Ignoring them, Alex stormed over to her mother.

"Hey," she said briskly, crossing her arms.

"Hello," Danielle replied.

Alex waited for her to say something else. She never did.

"Don't you have something you want to tell me?" Alex said hotly.

She sounded like a snob but she didn't care.

"No," Danielle said quickly.

Too quickly. It was an obvious lie. Alex let out an exasperated sigh.

"I don't believe this!" Alex exclaimed, infuriated. "I thought we were supposed to be having this whole honest relationship thing, and that's we, not just me."

Danielle stared at her blankly.

"Fine," Alex cried, throwing her hands up, "forget it."

Confused, Danielle watched her as she left. She stared at the exit to the caves for a long moment, before glancing around the room, hoping for an explanation. Boone and Hurley, who had been watching the scene intensely, shrugged innocently.

(space)

Jack tried to fight back as he was thrown outside, screaming for Kate, praying for a response, or anything that would signal that she was okay. The sunlight blinded his eyes as he stumbled, and struggled to keep his balance.

"Shut up!" David cried.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Jack yelled, fist waving madly.

"Shut the hell up!" David bellowed over Jack, grabbing him by the arm and throwing him against the exterior of the ship.

"You don't even live here, do you?" Jack accused, his balled up fist now shaking uncontrollably. "You have a way off the island, don't you you son of a-"

"Hey," David cut off, grinning, "there's a lady inside."

That sent Jack over the edge. Leaping forward, Jack grabbed the front of David's shirt, sending them both slamming to the ground. He threw his fist forward, sending it bouncing off of David's jaw. The guy didn't even flinch. Instead he rolled over, throwing Jack under him, and Jack turned away just in time to avoid being hit. They wrestled on the ground, exchanging punches, but never actually landing one. Twigs snapped in Jack's ear as he rolled over, already exhausted from what seemed like the never-ending fight.

A nearby muffled scream caught his attention. Kate. Jack froze, his fist in mid air. A thousand thoughts rushed through his mind. Someone else had come after her. She was in trouble. She was hurt. She was scared. She needed him.

A cry of pain escaped Jack, and his right eye immediately closed, feeling heavy and swollen. David grinned proudly to himself above him. Jack hoped that at least Kate heard that, and she would have some reassurance that he was okay, or at least alive. A familiar click brought Jack out of his thoughts. A gun was pointed at him. Not the rifle, but a 9mm. Alex's gone. Jack completely forgot about having it. Furious, Jack mentally kicked himself, cursing under his breath.

"Funny the things a guy can forget when worried about his girlfriend," David commented, "I, for one, find it sweet."

Jack glared at him. Wasting no time, he kicked up, attempting to knock the gun out of David's hand. Reaching out with one hand, David caught Jack's foot with ease, just like he had done earlier with his fist. David threw Jack's leg back, and he flinched in pain at the sound of a muscle popping. His ankle hit the ground with a frightening crack. David grabbed his arm before Jack could recover, and in one quick move, lifted him off the ground and tossed him to the side.

Once again, Jack slammed against the exterior of the ship. Furious with himself for not being there for Kate, for not being able to take control of the situation, Jack swung his fist around, and sent it smashing into the wood. He winced slightly at the throbbing pain that sprung up his arm afterward, but bit back the cry that followed, because Jack knew that whatever pain he was experiencing now could never match the pain Kate was feeling. Jack thought about how scared Kate must be, but he knew she's never admit it.

"Even if I had a way to get off this damn island it wouldn't be enough for us all!" David shouted, grin wiped off of his face. "Everyone here, your people. Not to mention there's no way in hell it would even let us off!"

"It?" Jack repeated, holding his quickly swelling fist in his good hand.

"And we've been here longer than you!" David went on. "Not that that even matters now, because they're all dead! All of them! But not me! I'm not dead!"

He took a step towards Jack, filling up the space in between them. Jack's eyes darted around, looking for the rifle David wasn't holding.

"Why aren't I dead?" He asked Jack, only inches from his face.

His eyes were like fire, unnaturally narrow and dark.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jack finally said, trying to keep from lashing out again.

Maybe David knew something, about what's going on.

"Yeah, like you'd know" David said, his tone lowering significally.

Taking a step back, David began pacing the ground.

"You have no idea what it's like to lose you're entire crew," David's voice cracked a little, "you're friends."

"You have no idea," Jack echoed, "that thing-" he waved towards the jungle, "it killed over half of us. At once."

David looked his way, and Jack could've sworn he saw a flash of sympathy in his eyes.

"Do you know what it is?" Jack asked, taking advantage of David's momentary silence. "That thing out there? How does it work? What makes it..tick?"

David began breathing heavily.

"I don't know," he said quietly, "all I know is that we're in real trouble. You better be thanking the good lord every day you're still here. You're one of the lucky ones."

'Lucky ones'? With all that happened to him over the past five months, Jack hardly considered himself lucky. But what mattered now was that David seemed to have calmed down, at least for the time being. Jack had to take advantage of this.

"Why won't you just let her go?" Jack said, calmly as he could. "Kate. She doesn't have anything to do with this. She doesn't deserve to be hurt."

A moment passed. Jack prayed. David looked like he was actually considering the proposal, and if he did, Jack promised that he would take back what he said about not being lucky. He was lucky, he realized. He had Kate. And he wasn't going to let this creep take that away from him.

"Aw, that's sweet," David said at last.

Instead of his usual simper, David looked angry.

"But you see, that's not the point-" the 9mm was once again aimed at Jack, "because believe me, you'd much rather go this way than the later.

(space)

Kate's eyes watered as she let out another muffled cry. She thought she heard Jack shout, but she couldn't tell.

Please let him be okay, she thought desperately, please!

_Bang_

Her eyes darted around the room, searching for the source of the noise. The room echoed, so it was hard to detect where it came from.

_Bang_

A small beam of light shone through the room, straight across from her. Kate let out a sigh of relief. It had to be Jack. He had come to save her. The shelf that was pushed against the door's opening inched forward as someone threw themselves repeatedly against it. There were a few more bangs, and the blockade was pushed free. Kate let herself have a moment of relief before going back to screaming. Maybe it wasn't Jack, and the person would just walk on by. Maybe it wasn't Jack, and the person was there to hurt her. Maybe screaming wasn't such a good idea.

Feet slowly approached her. Dust flew from the old floorboards of the ship with every step they took. Whoever it was seemed skeptical of helping her, and Kate screamed when she saw them take a step back. Then the feet came running.

"Sh!" The person hissed. "Be quiet, will you? What are you tryin' to do, wake the dead?"

Her face fell. It was Sawyer, not Jack, which could only mean one thing: Jack was in trouble. Surely he would've come for her by now if he wasn't.

"Where's Jack?" Kate asked frantically as soon as Sawyer pulled the cloth out of her mouth.

She was breathing heavily in panic. What if he was dead? What would she do?

"How about a 'Thanks for rescuing me, Sawyer. I could've died. I'm now forever in your dept'," Sawyer said sarcastically, trying to keep the mood light.

"Where the hell's Jack?" Kate said, jumping up as soon as she was free from the binds.

Sawyer looked at her, confused and worried.

"I don't know," Sawyer said. "What happened?"

"Jack! He..we were-"

A wave of dizziness swam through her brain, clouding her mind. She had jumped up too quickly. Jack wouldn't of advise it, but Sawyer hadn't thought to.

"You okay?" Sawyer asked, concerned, grabbing her shoulder to steady her.

"Fine," Kate lied, jerking away from his grip, "where's Sayid?"

"Upstairs somewhere," Sawyer said, scanning the ceiling above him, "not exactly _Pirates of the Caribbean_, huh?"

"Why did you come and not him?" Kate said, ignoring his comment.

"Heard screams," Sawyer said, "he went one way, I went the other."

"And you just happened to find me."

Kate crossed her arms, trying to hide the fact that she was shaking now. Where the hell was Jack?

"I hate to be judgmental, Freckles, but you sound disappointed," Sawyer said, growing furious.

She bit back a small smile at hearing her own nickname. Sawyer was just trying to make the situation as light as possible, like always. He was kind of like Hurley, except he could fight.

"Did you see Jack?" Kate asked, this time more calmly.

"No," Sawyer said hesitantly, knowing it wasn't what Kate wanted to hear. "Sorry."

Kate looked down to the ground to hide the tears that were forming rapidly in her eyes. Sawyer watched her thoughtfully for a moment before continuing, wondering what he should do.

"Who did this to you?" He asked carefully. "Which way did he go?"

He wants to help Jack, Kate thought. Somehow, that thought relieved her of some worry.

"He threw Jack out," Kate said, voice beginning to break, "he's okay for now, but that guy-" she shook her head, "he was strong. He has a rifle."

"Not anymore," Sawyer said with a mischievous smirk.

Sawyer held out an object to her, and Kate sighed in relief when she saw it was the rifle. The guy didn't have it. At least Jack had a fighting chance- literally. But what about Jack's gun? Kate was just now remembering he had it, what about Jack? Would he remember before it was taken?

"Let's go."

Cautiously, Sawyer took a step outside and looked around. The jungle was deadly silent, giving them no clues as to which direction to go in.

"You don't want to do this," a voice pleaded calmly.

Jack. Kate opened her mouth to yell for him, but Sawyer's hand clasped over it to stop her. She struggled, but gave in. It wouldn't be good to provoke whoever was doing whatever to Jack.

"Stay here," Sawyer instructed quietly, rising the gun a little.

Kate stepped forward to protest, but Sawyer put his hand out to stop her. All she could do was watch as Sawyer crept towards the commotion.

(space)

Jack shook his head, quickly thinking, searching his mind desperately for a way out of this. He didn't want to die, and he didn't want Kate to lose him. He didn't want her to have to go through that pain.

"Give the girl my best wishes," David said, "it's a shame, what all's happened to her."

Worrying so much about Kate, Jack forgot about Alex. He couldn't help but to wonder how she would react if he were to die. They had grown close over the pass two months, almost as though they had known each other forever. But what did this guy know about her?

"Sorry about that, mate," David said, "complicated times. Some people just suffer. Tell her I'm terribly sorry. I mean it."

"What the hell are you talking about it?" Jack demanded. "What do you know about her?"

"Just tell her I'm sorry," David said again.

A gunshot fired, sending off a loud popping noise that rang through the air. Jack's heart stopped. His insides went cold. He was about to dropped down in surprise when someone fell on top of him, and sank to the ground. Jack forced himself to look down. David's bleeding, unmoving, body was laying at his feet. His empty stomach churned, and Jack swallowed hard to keep from getting sick. Smoke still mixed in thickly with the air.

He knew someone had to have fired the gun, and he knew it wasn't him or David. Looking up, Jack half-expected to see Kate stand there, the rifle shaking in her hands. Instead it was Sawyer, holding the other gun they brought with them. He was staring at the body, the gun still pointed at it. Sawyer didn't noticed as Jack walked up to him, and lowered the gun. It was a rifle. Jack could tell even from here that the bullet had ripped through David's body, instantly killing him.

"Jack?" A small voice said from behind Sawyer.

Kate. Jack's frozen expression slowly widened into a smile as she stepped out from behind Sawyer. A painfully red mark scarred her cheek, and it crushed Jack to have to look at it. He saw just in time that Kate was running towards him, and Jack scooped her up in his arms, letting her shed tears of joy against his shoulder.

"It's okay," Jack whispered, "you're okay. I've got you."

Jack held on to Kate tightly, relived that she was okay. It reminded him of the night before, when Kate ran from her nightmare. He liked it, being the one to provide comfort.

"You're welcome," Sawyer called out from behind Kate.

Letting out a laugh, Jack looked over Kate's shoulder.

"Thank you," he choked out, barely audible.

He lay his head down carefully against Kate, rubbing her back in small, soothing, circles.

"I'm okay," Kate told him quietly, releasing herself from Jack's hold, "I just..I'm fine."

She was lying, Jack knew, but he didn't want to push her.

"What happened to your eye?" Kate asked, concerned.

Jack winced as Kate reached up, brushing a finger over the bruised skin under Jack's eye.

"It's nothing," Jack said.

He was so worried about Kate that he forgot about it.

"As much as I love a sweet reunion," Sawyer spoke up, "what the hell was all that about?"

Jack looked at him.

"What?"

"'Tell her I'm sorry'?" Sawyer quoted. "He was talking about Alex, wasn't he?"

Kate looked up to Jack, waiting for him to answer along with Sawyer.

"Just forget it," Jack said, "he was delusional. He could've been talking about anyone."

"But you knew what he was talking about," Sawyer said, taking a step towards Jack, "you know something about her. What?"

Jack knew it wasn't his place to say, and he didn't want to break their bond of trust. With all that happened to her, Alex's trust was fragile and vital to her recovering process.

"I can't say," Jack said sincerely, "ask her."

Sawyer scrawled.

"I know you two have this whole buddy-buddy thing goin' on," Sawyer began, "and I think it's great, I really do, but don't I at least get some say here? I was on the raft with her for a week total. Come on, we're practically friends."

"Friends who never talk," Jack pointed out, suddenly feeling defensive of Alex, "you never once even tried to talk to her."

"Got her to stop smoking, didn't I?" Sawyer reminded.

"Congrats," Jack said sarcastically, "how's that going to help her now? She needs people she can trust, people she can count on to be there for her. If she doesn't have that, every lecture on ruined lungs and yellow teeth will mean nothing to her."

Sawyer glared at Jack, but didn't argue.

"Finally!" A relived voice said behind them. "I was worried that- who's that?"

Jack, Kate, and Sawyer turned to see what had stopped Sayid. He found the body.

"Long story," Jack replied.

Sayid studied him closely.

"What happened to your eye?" Sayid inquired.

He looked from Jack's injury to Kate, to the gun in Sawyer's hands. Sayid then bent down, and picked up the 9mm David had been holding. Turning the safety back on, Sayid handed Jack the gun.

"What happened?" Sayid implicated.

"We-" Jack stopped, not feeling like going through the story so soon, "ran into some trouble. But we're fine."

Sayid looked unsure, but nodded in anyway. The four stood in silence, not sure what the next step in the search and rescue process should be. Jack realized that until now, he had forgotten about Charlie and Claire.

"Maybe Sawyer and I should check the upper decks," Sayid finally spoke up, breaking the silence," left doesn't seem like a good idea."

They reluctantly nodded in agreement. None of the three felt like searching for the missing castaways, all exhausted and shook up, but they knew it was important to find Charlie and Claire, preferably before dark.

A loud roar came from the jungle, violently shaking the trees near them. Kate clinged to Jack for balance, while Sayid and Sawyer fell back against the ship. The monster was back.

"Run," Sayid said quietly.

They no longer shouted it, like they were afraid that it would hear them.

"No," Jack protested, "Charlie and Claire."

But Sayid and Sawyer were already halfway down the path. Jack panicked momentarily at the thought of being left on his lone, but a tug at his shirt eased his worries. Kate was still with him. Another roar erupted through the jungle, and Jack knew it wasn't safe to stay. But what if Charlie and Claire were still in there?

"Catch up with Sayid and Sawyer," Jack said, turning to Kate, "stay with them. I'll meet you at camp."

"But-"

Jack cut her off with a quick kiss. He stared at her for a moment, hesitant to leave her. His eyes trailed to the cut on Kate's face, and he reached up, touching it softly.

"Be careful," he whispered.

Kate stared back at him, eyes swollen from crying, and nodded. As she left, the only thing he could think of was: why hadn't he told her he loved her?

**Author's Notes:** This chapter is shorter than most of mine have been, but I'm trying to make this story as long as possible. And I wanted to get to update tonight. The next chapter may be a little short too, because I just thought this was a good place to leave it off. I'm sorry for the wait, I just haven't been able to get on like I used to. Thank you guys so much for reviewing! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

At last the Shannon setting up Boone thing will be resolved(sorry for the wait on that Chris! I know you were excited about that part:p). Alex and a couple of different people will have a couple of different heart to hearts, Jack will redeem his lack of 'I love you' sayings, and this whole island thing will be resolved. That's right, the entire island. It's quite a big explanation, as explained by Callum. Oh, and that David guy? Have I mentioned that you've seen him before? And I don't mean when he talked to Alex. All of this might not happen next chapter, but it will happen soon.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	19. A Room Somewhere

In the End

Chapter Nineteen

**Author's Note:** Okay, stick with me until the end..please! Or at least through the next few chapters..no matter what bad things happen, you just have to see them through until the end.

**Disclaimer:** The part of that song "All I Want is A Room Somewhere"..uh..My Fair Lady, right? Well, wherever it's from, I don't own it, and I promise I'll make a point to see that musical sometime.

**Chapter Nineteen: **A Room Somewhere

Shannon scanned the beach in front of her, observing the few castaways who remained. The group was torn in two as to where to live: though the caves were closed in, and Jack and the water was there, the monster was still in the jungle. Even though the beach was calm and serene, there was still a mile walk to the caves each day for water. Shannon stayed at the beach simply because Sayid wanted to stay there. He felt obligated to play the part of leader for the beach-goers, even though Shannon was sure that he would move if she wanted to.

What Shannon was looking for was something she didn't normally search for: a woman. A woman for Boone. Someone to get his mind off of whatever it was he did out there in the jungle everyday, and more importantly, someone who wasn't her. Not many women were left at the beach, so there were few to choose from, but a tanned brunette caught her attention from about a hundred yards away. Shannon ran up to her, trying not to get her hopes up.

"Hi." Shannon greeted, walking up to her, "I don't think I know your name."

"Audrey," the woman replied, and threw a wet shirt over a clothes line. The wind caught it a few times before it was successfully caught on the line.

Audrey and Boone, Shannon couldn't help but to think, "Boone and Audrey Carlyle. Doesn't sound half bad.

"My brother, Boone-" Shannon began, but was cut off by a cry of disgust.

"Ew! Audrey exclaimed. "You two are brother and sister? But I've seen you two make out so many times!"

Shannon's face contorted in anger. Maybe this girl wasn't exactly who she was looking for.

"He's my stepbrother," Shannon corrected hotly, "anyway, he's been kind of..down lately, and I've been asking around, trying to get people to talk to him."

"I'm sure he appreciates it," Audrey said sarcastically, throwing a pair of jeans on the line, "trust me, it's not worth it. Brothers are jerks. They don't want your help."

She definitely didn't like this girl. Shannon didn't even want to know what she'd think about her relationship with Sayid, which was bound to come up soon. Not wanting to go there, Shannon quickly ended the conversation.

"Yeah, well I'm sure he wouldn't want to talk to you anyway," she said coldly, and swirled around.

Stomping off towards the jungle, furious with the way Audrey acted and frustrated with her lack of progress, Shannon didn't noticed when another girl approached her.

"You said you were looking for someone to talk to your brother?" The woman said.

Shannon stopped to let her catch up.

"Hi," the woman said with a smile, holding out her hand, "I'm Kelsey."

Kelsey had a much nicer way about her than Audrey, and she smiled too. That was always a plus. Shannon took her hand.

"Shannon," she offered, "and yeah, I was. You interested?"

She felt guilty, realizing it sounded like she was making a business deal.

"Yeah," Audrey nodded, "I've seen him around. Boone, right? I've always wondered about him. He seems nice, but secretive. Like he's hiding something."

Shannon's face fell. Maybe this girl was too deep for Boone. She didn't want her questioning him all the time, that would only drive Boone away.

"But I'm sure he's great," Kelsey added quickly, "I'd like to meet him."

She gave Shannon a smile. Shannon could tell that Kelsey really wanted her to say yes. Kelsey didn't seem like a bad girl, and maybe dark was just the type of girl Boone needed. Someone to drown themselves in pity with. Shannon smiled back.

"Follow me."

(space)

"Maybe we should go back," Charlie suggested nervously, glancing around the long, dark tunnel.

These kind of tunnels were only supposed to be in movies and tv. Standing at maybe five feet in height, the tunnel curved around the inner earth of the island. Charlie remembered coming here before, looking for Claire with Jack and Sawyer. God that seemed like so long ago. The place only seemed vaguely familiar, but Claire, however, was finding her way around effortlessly.

"No," Claire said, looking around with eyes full of excitement and anxiousness.

Charlie looked down to the ground. He knew the chances were slim that the baby would be well, let alone alive, but he hadn't seen Claire so happy in so long that he couldn't bring himself to confront her.

"This way," Claire said as they reached a lighter part of the tunnel.

The only hope Charlie possessed came from the fact that lighted torches hung off the walls, glowing brightly. Torches that had been there for awhile. This could only mean one thing: someone lived here, or at least came often. And then he heard it. Ever so lightly a soft cry echoed through the tunnel, coming from an adjacent area. Claire's eyes lit up, bursting in excitement. Charlie fought to keep up as Claire ran towards the sound. He remembered watching movies as a boy and seeing children run towards something like that, something that they loved: parents coming home, presents under the tree at Christmas, the overall feeling of relief and rescue.

"Claire!" Charlie called desperately, running after her.

Claire stopped at an opening in the wall. There was no door, no light switch. It was like a cave. The cry grew louder as Charlie approached Claire, who was stopped in the entryway. Charlie's heart fell. Maybe this was all just a joke, a mean joke. He felt ready to kill. But then Claire darted forward into the room, collapsing beside something in the corner: a crib. Claire sobbed in relief as Charlie slowly walked into the room, stunned at what he was seeing.

Everything that was needed to raise a good, healthy baby was in this room: a crib, toys, a rather large diaper bag. Even a heart monitor sat in the room, hooked up to what Claire was now holding in her arms, rocking back and forth. Another machine Charlie didn't recognize was on the other side of the crib, similar to that of a computer.

"What do you think this thing is?" Charlie asked Claire, who didn't respond.

Sitting his arms on the table the computer set on, Charlie gazed into the dark screen, wondering where the keyboard was. He was so caught off guard by his unfamiliar appearance in the screen that he almost forgot about Claire. Guilty, he dropped beside Claire, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"He's beautiful," Claire whispered, gazing down to the infant child in her arms.

"Beautiful?" Charlie snorted. "Boys aren't supposed to be beautiful. They're supposed to be strong and handsome."

"He's just little, Charlie," Claire said with a smile, "and besides, I'm sure with your wonderful parental influence, he'll grow up to be just like his uncle Charlie."

Charlie tried to hide that he was absolutely frightened at the idea of being a parent, especially since his last baby-sitting experience ended with a burnt bowl of chocolate and dead fish in the flower bed. It had been a very long night.

"Uncle Charlie," he mused, "sounds a little bit like Uncle Buck."

Claire let out a laugh.

"How did you get Charlie out of Buck?" She asked, amused.

"I dunno," Charlie shrugged, "how do you get Jimmy from James?"

Claire laughed again, gazing down at her baby boy.

"He has my eyes," Claire whispered proudly.

"And your hair too," Charlie commented, noting the teeny tiny strands of blonde poking through the baby's scalp, "unless he has my hair-" he looked up thoughtfully, "man, wouldn't that be weird?"

Claire smiled, and looked around the room, taking her eyes off the baby for the first time.

"Who do you think's keeping him here?" She wondered out loud. "What do they want with him?"

"I don't know," Charlie said regretfully, wishing he knew the answers she wanted.

Charlie lifted himself off the ground and studied the room. Once again the computer drew to his attention, and he realized he was looking at something he hadn't noticed before: on the screen were dozens of zigzagging green lines, fading together as they crisscrossed over the screen.

"Bloody hell," Charlie muttered to himself as the computer came to life.

"Charlie!" Claire scolded. "The baby."

He ignored Claire's humor. Something wasn't right. He could feel it.

"We should go," Charlie announced quickly, standing up.

"What?" Claire said, alarmed, looking up at him.

"We shouldn't be here," Charlie said, looking around the room nervously as he tugged on Claire's arm.

"Charlie!" Claire cried. "The baby!"

"Claire, I don't think we should be here," Charlie said again.

Claire eyed him.

"Why?"

There was a crash from nearby.

"Let's go," Charlie said, ending the argument.

Claire reluctantly followed Charlie out of the room with the baby held tightly in her arms, grabbing the diaper bag before exciting.

(space)

"Hey, Boonehead!" Shannon called out as she entered the caves, Kelsey following close behind her.

It was almost annoying, the way Kelsey practically breathed down her neck, drawing in quick breaths of nerves. Just like Boone sometimes would. Maybe they were the perfect couple. As she walked into the caves, Shannon saw that Boone was sitting by Hurley. The two seemed to be deep in conversation until Shannon walked in.

"Anyone else find it pathetic that she's still using the same nickname she thought up when she was in seventh grade?" Boone said dully to no one in particular.

"Anyone else find it pathetic that he's still offended by it?" Shannon snapped back.

Boone rolled his eyes.

"What do you want?" He asked, standing up to face her.

"This-" Shannon pulled Kelsey, who was hiding behind her, into Boone's field of view. "Is Kelsey-" she winked at him, "have fun."

With a graceful spin, Shannon left the caves, leaving the two strangers alone. Boone raised an eyebrow.

"What was that all about?" He inquired, puzzled.

The girl Shannon left him with smiled.

"I'm Kelsey," she said smoothly, "you uh..wanna go for a walk?"

Though her name was said with ease, the last part was blurted out. Boone felt a little uneasy, but nevertheless, he offered Kelsey a smile.

"Sure," he said, even though he had no clue what just happened.

After all, what did he have to lose?

(space)

Charlie led Claire through the hallways, staying close to the wall.

"Do you hear something?" Claire asked suddenly, sounding frightened.

As soon as she mentioned it, he could hear a soft buzzing noise coming from nearby. Charlie turned abruptly at the noise, not sure what to expect. Was someone following them? Maybe watching them? The noise grew increasingly louder, and Charlie was sure of one thing: he had to get Claire and her baby out of there. The lights went out. Claire's baby began to cry, and Charlie began to panic. Whirling back around, and Charlie yelped as he bumped into someone. In return, the other person let out a small cry of surprise.

"Jack!" Charlie exclaimed, recognizing the voice.

"Charlie!" A relieve voice replied. "Thank God. We've got to go."

"Yeah, I know," Charlie quickly agreed, "but the lights..what the hell's going on?"

"I don't know," Jack confessed, "but that thing's back, and Kate's out there. We've got to go."

Claire's baby began to cry again. Jack eyes darkened as he looked passed Charlie, to where the baby lay in Claire's arms. As if she was afraid that Jack would strike out and attack her, Claire turned away from him, protectively holding her baby tightly in her arms. Jack cleared his throat, trying to cover up the fact that he didn't know what to think. He was looking at a very alive baby he was told died months ago.

"Where-" Jack finally began, voice uneven.

"A room back there," Charlie cut in, saving Jack from having to struggle to complete the question.

Jack glanced to where Charlie was pointing, only taking his eyes off the baby for that second.

"Did you see anyone?" Jack asked, hoping the answer would be no.

There was no way they'd be able to take out bad gus right now. Not only were they in a dark, unfamiliar, place, but they had the baby in tow now- not to mention Jack was growing anxious. With every moment that passed Jack became more and more worried. Surely if Kate was okay, and the monster was gone, she would've thought to come back to the ship. Maybe deep down, she's afraid of it, Jack thought. There wasn't anything wrong with that, but Jack just hated not knowing.

"No," Charlie said, shaking his head.

Jack let out a sigh of relief. Meanwhile, Claire was rocking her baby softly, still glaring at Jack like he was mad.

"I don't want to hurt your baby," Jack assured her, "he's beautiful."

This seemed to relax Claire a bit. It almost seemed as though she didn't even recognize who Jack was.

"Fine," Charlie muttered bitterly under his breath, "accept it when he says it."

Jack didn't waste time wandering what the meaning to that was. The one thing on his mind was getting everyone, including the baby, safely back to camp. But he knew what the logical thing at the moment would be, with all the drama going on, and as much as he didn't like it, he knew he needed to bring the suggestion forward.

"Charlie, can I talk to you for a sec?" Jack asked, already pulling Charlie so that both of their backs were facing Claire.

"Yeah?" Charlie asked, sounding worried.

"What was in the room when you found it?" Jack asked first.

"I dunno," Charlie shrugged "baby stuff. A crib, this bag thing-" he motioned towards the diaper bag that was hanging from his shoulder, "oh, and a heart monitor."

Suddenly all the hope Jack had left for this child died. That wasn't good news.

"You took the baby off the heart monitor?" Jack said darkly, eyes turning cold.

"Yeah," Charlie said blankly, "why, is that a bad thing?"

Jack closed his eyes, trying not to lose it. In his mind, he could hear Kate telling him that everything would be okay. She was safe. The baby would be safe. He was alive and healthy, and would remain that way. Jack would be able to help Claire maintain a healthy life, and everything would be okay.

"It could be," Jack said finally, "listen, I don't want to have to say this, but maybe it would be best if the baby stayed here."

"What?" Charlie hissed, outraged, trying to keep the conversation out of Claire's earshot. "Are you insane? It needs its mother!"

"He needs his mother," Jack corrected, "and I know that, but don't you think they were keeping him here for a reason?"

"Yeah!" Charlie retorted. "To hurt it! God knows what they were doing to him!"

Jack sighed. This wasn't going to be easy, and he hadn't even had to start convincing Claire yet.

"But of all the places on the island, why keep him here?" Jack pointed out. "What about the baby being outside? Near the water? Near sunlight? Maybe that was because that thing's out there- it still is. Maybe they know more about the island than we do."

"But he needs his mother," Charlie said exasperatedly, putting emphasis on each word.

"I can hear you," Claire announced from behind him.

Both the men turned their heads. Jack sighed again, impatient.

"I'm not leaving him," Claire said confidently, "if he can't have a real home, he needs to at least have me."

The words hit Jack hard, and every plausible reason for what he was trying to do didn't matter anymore. All Claire wanted for the passed moths was to get her baby back. She just wanted to be the mother she was supposed to be. Jack's own experiences with child separation came back to mind, and he couldn't justify himself at all. If he forced Claire to do this, then he would be just as bad as Sarah. He couldn't sit by and watch another parent suffer through a life without their child.

"All right," Jack agreed, "but there's no way we can take the baby back the way we came."

"Then we'll go the beach route," Charlie said, eyes lighting up.

"The beach?" Claire repeated, obviously not fond of the suggestion. "Isn't that longer?"

Charlie and Jack exchanged glances.

"Maybe Sayid knows a path," Jack suggested, "but-"

"We can figure it out," Charlie said suddenly, startling Jack speechless, "I know you want to get back to Kate, right?"

He did, but that didn't mean he wanted Claire and Charlie trudging through the jungle alone with the baby.

"Trust me," Charlie seemed to be in a sudden hurry to get Jack out, "I can get us home."

Jack glanced towards Claire. She also seemed surprised at Charlie's sudden enthusiasm, but didn't protest. Jack knew that time was wasting: Kate or one of the others could be hurt somewhere, so he gave a small nod, already regretting his decision. Charlie grinned.

"Thanks mate," he said, clamping a hand down on Jack's shoulder, "see you soon."

(space)

"I can't believe she actually did this!" Boone said, infuriated.

After walking for only ten minutes, Kelsey blurted out the reasoning behind her sudden meeting with Boone.

"She was only worried about you," Kelsey pointed out, "it was thoughtful."

Boone snorted.

"Even when she's concerned she has to get people to do her dirty work," he said bitterly.

He notice Kelsey looked hurt. Boone reminded himself that this wasn't all her fault. She seemed like a great girl, though easily manipulative. The perfect person to play the protagonist in another one of Shannon's schemes.

"No offense," he added quickly.

Kelsey shrugged.

"I'm used to it."

They walked on a few more paces. He tried to avoid Kelsey's eyes, which were watching his every move, by concentrating what was really important at the moment: the code. He still didn't know exactly what it meant, and Boone wasn't so sure that he wanted to go running back to Callum so soon.

"Um.." Kelsey began, breaking the silence with a nervous laugh, "okay, this is going to seem really weird, but-" she stopped, suddenly acting very bubbling as she pulled on Boone's arm to stop him as well, "can I kiss you?"

Boone's eyes widened. What relationship in hell was Shannon trying to get him into?

"What?" Boone exclaimed, speaking his thoughts.

"I know you probably don't really want to be with me," Kelsey began, smiling to herself as she looked from the ground to Boone, "but I just..you know..want to see."

"Want to see what?" Boone said, disgusted.

"If I even want a boyfriend!" Kelsey finished, excitement making her giddy. "Just let me kiss you, and I'll know."

"No," Boone said flatly, taking a step back from Kelsey, "I'm sorry. Find someone else to use for your sick little experiment."

Kelsey frowned.

"But.." she pouted, doing a perfect impersonation of Shannon, "I really wanted to get to know you too. I mean, we could at least be friends, right?"

"Wrong," Boone said. For the first time in his life, he was having no trouble setting up a break up with a girl. Then again, he never really got that chance. "I've got to go sort out a real experiment."

He didn't meant to say it out loud, but it came out anyway. Oh well, Boone thought, she'll probably get the wrong picture anyway. Boone stormed off before Kelsey even processed what he said.

"What?" She called after him when she finally did.

"Never mind!" Boone yelled back.

For once, he was thankful he had the hatch to go to.

(space)

Jack ran through the woods, calling Kate's name, desperately wanting an answer.

"Kate!" He called out, cupping his hands around the sides of his mouth to make an echoey effect. "Kate!"

"Jack!"

The cry came distantly, barely audible, but still enough for Jack to hear it. Jack let out a sigh of relief, grateful enough to cry.

"Kate!" He yelled back.

Jack waited for the reply, the pit in his stomach tightening into a fine knot. A sudden ruffle of leaves caught Jack's attention like the sound of a gunshot. He waited what seemed like forever for the source of the noise to make it's way through the bush, and at last Kate stumbled out. Jack ran to her, swooping her into a hug before checking her for injuries. Kate held onto him, sniffling into Jack's shoulder.

"Thank God," he said, reluctantly pulling away, only to make sure she was all right. Jack ran a hand through Kate's untamed hair. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you again?"

"No," Kate said, shaking her head. She was shaking. "No, he..it was that thing. It came, and Jack-"

"Jack!" A relieved voice exclaimed from behind them.

Jack turned to see Sayid approaching them. He was covered in mud, but other than a few minor scratches on his arm, Sayid looked fine.

"That thing-" Sayid began, but was cut off by Jack.

"I know," Jack said, "are you okay?"

"Fine," Sayid replied hastily, "but when that thing came, Sawyer and I got separated."

Jack's eyes narrowed. He had a feeling that what Sayid was about to tell him hand something to do with why Kate seemed so shaken. Not that she didn't have the right to be.

"I jumped out of the way," Sayid continued, "but Sawyer-" he stopped, hesitant to go on, "Sawyer didn't even see it coming. That thing, I think it got him."

Kate grabbed on tightly to Jack's arm. He could feel her tense up beside him. Jack put a hand on her arm, though he was equally stricken by the news.

"I think I heard him scream," Sayid finished quietly.

A long pause of silence followed. Jack was speechless. He and Sawyer weren't on the best of terms, but no one deserved to die. Even though the moment of rage had come over him as he beat Sawyer to a pulp only a week earlier, Jack knew that deep down he'd never be able to kill him cold-blooded, and now that things calmed down, he didn't think Sawyer deserved to die.

Not only were things getting better between Jack and Kate, but Jack knew that Sawyer and Rebecca were certaintly more than just friends. Oh God, he thought, Rebecca..he didn't want to have to do this. He couldn't tell her Sawyer was dead. Beside him, Kate let out a small whimper. She was clearly trying to hold herself together. Deaths were never easy for Jack either, but he knew that Kate always had some sort of a friendship with Sawyer. Jack pulled Kate closer to him, putting an arm around her shoulder.

"It's okay," he told her quietly, though he wasn't so sure of it himself, "as far as I'm concern, no one's dead until we found a body."

Kate's head was buried into Jack's shoulder, enabling him to turn around, but he was still able to hear Sayid behind him.

"He's right," Sayid spoke up, "we don't know anything for sure."

Kate didn't hear them. Jack knew she was breaking down, and later on would be embarrassed about it, no matter what the circumstances were. Wrapping another arm around her, Jack turned Kate away so that Sayid couldn't see her, giving her her privacy.

"I never got to say I was sorry," Kate whispered into Jack's shoulder in sobs.

Jack looked at her in surprised.

"What were you sorry for?" Jack asked curiously.

"For ruining his life."

Jack was startled by Kate's answer. When Kate had the affair, Jack never thought of it as ruining Sawyer's life too. Maybe in some ways, it did. People on the island would have an even worse view on him afterwards, which would mean everyone would loose trust in him. Whether or not Sawyer ever got the chance to realize it, trust was a very precious thing.

"I'm sure he forgave you," Jack said, knowing Kate was looking for reassurance, "he wouldn't of wanted you to think like that."

Sayid watched the two, admiring how Jack was able to calm Kate down, despite his own feelings towards the situation.

"I'll look for him," Sayid offered. He knew that Jack and Kate would want to- need to- be together right now. "You two should go back to camp."

Jack nodded, thinking along the same lines of Sayid.

"Thanks," he said, reluctantly loosening his hold on Kate.

But as soon as she dropped her arms, her hand immediately feel into his, squeezing it tightly. His hand began to sting, but Jack ignored it, knowing it was a comfort to Kate.

"Are you okay with going back?" Jack asked Kate, brushing Kate's hair away from her face.

Kate nodded, shaking her head so that her hair fell back into place. Jack realized what she was doing: trying to hide the mark David's fist made. He reached up to touch it, but Kate quickly forced his hand back down.

"If you ever need to take a break," Jack said to her, "tell me, I mean it."

Kate nodded again, trying her best to avoid Jack's eyes, which were desperately trying to meet her. When they failed, Jack forced himself to look away, afraid he might be making Kate nervous. Jack cleared his throat.

"I guess we'll head out," Jack said, turning back to Sayid.

Sayid stepped forward as he nodded, and put a hand on Kate's shoulder.

"I'll find him," Sayid promised, "we at least want a body to bury."

Jack figured Sayid didn't mean to word it that way, but he could see where he was getting at. At least they were considerate enough to bury him. Sawyer deserved it. Kate would be thinking that. Jack ushered Kate towards the path that would lead him back to camp, putting an arm around her shoulder again.

"And Jack!" Sayid called after him. Jack turned back around. "Tell Shannon I'm okay-" he paused thoughtfully, "and that I love her."

Jack forced out a half-smile, and nodded, trying not to think of what was happening, and what he would have to do.

**Author's Note:** Okay, I know this also wasn't as long as normal, but I wanted that cliffy..and yes, I said cliffy. Who knows if Sawyer's really dead. Oh, and by the way, the thing Jack was talking about having to do was telling Rebecca and everyone what was going on. Sorry for cutting that plot with Boone and Kelsey so short, but they might not be completely done with. Boone just needs to think about the code for now. Thanks so much for the reviews! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

A pretty angsty chapter, I'm not sure if it's in this next one or not, but Callum will soon explain the whole island to you. But in this next chapter, Jack will definitely have to tell Rebecca about Sawyer- and consider the possibility that he's dead. But secretly, Rebecca has something else on her mind..that has to do with Sawyer too.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	20. The Truth

In the End

Chapter Twenty

**Reminder:** I don't remember which fic it was or what the circumstances were, but Kate did find out about the hatch and what was inside it. Jack still doesn't know. If anyone needs a brushup on the Locke and Boone backstory connections, just let me know. I won't be offended, that story hasn't been brought up in a long time.

**Author's Notes:** The reference to 'Sloane' is in reference to the character Arvin Sloane on _Alias_, who always seems to have these secret plans and things he's doing. Also, usually I try to make the plots of my stories as original as possible, but there was one reason mystery on the show that I loved so much, that I just had to use it. If you don't like me doing this, feel free to tell me. I'll try and make it different though:-p It also may remind you a little of _Sphere_ by Michael Chriton, and it was sort of inspired by that.

**Chapter Twenty:** The Truth

"Haven't seen you in awhile," Locke commented, approaching Boone at the caves.

Boone started to go back to the hatch, but half way there he changed his mind, and went back to the caves. He had this gut feeling that he shouldn't go there right then, and the feeling was so intense that he almost ran back to the caves.

"Enjoying your time off?" Locke said jokingly when Boone didn't reply.

"Yeah," Boone replied honestly, "I am."

He wondered what Locke was doing there, and found himself hoping that it didn't have anything to do with the hatch. Then Boone realized that Locke didn't even know about Callum, or anything else under the hatch. Suddenly he felt uncomfortable in Locke's presence. Not to mention he just blabbed what could be Locke's new "special friendship" to two people, one who was not the best to tell secrets like that to.

"Did you need something John?" Boone asked to try and get to Locke's point quickly.

"Actually," Locke said, "I was thinking maybe you and I could go out and do a little hunting-" he smiled to himself, "for real, this time."

"Hunting didn't seem to be that important to you before," Boone pointed out, standing up from his spot on the ground.

He walked towards the waterfall, even though he had no real reason to do so. Locke followed.

"I thought it might give us a chance to catch up," Locke explained, "give us something to do. Sitting around and waiting for the next thing to happen won't do you any good. And people need food."

Boone knew that Locke had good points. He sighed. It seemed like Locke would drag Boone out to get him into the jungle if he had to. There was no way out of it. Maybe staying with Kelsey wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"Fine," Boone agreed dully, "you got an extra knife?"

Locke smiled, and pulled one out of a holster. Flipping the knife over, he handed it to Boone, waving to the exit to signal the start of their hunt. They brushed by Jack and Kate as they left, and something about their presence made Locke stop. Boone looked up from where he had been watching his feet, and he too stopped. Jack had an arm wrapped around Kate, who's face was streaked with tears, eyes heavy and swollen. There was a thick cut on her cheek. Jack didn't look any better, his exhausted demeanor complete with a fading black eye.

"What happened?" Locke asked, his voice wavering in surprise of their sudden and beat appearance.

"Not now," Jack said, pushing Locke out of the way as he led Kate into the caves.

"Jack?" Locke said in a second attempt.

Jack's head spun around, furious.

"Not now, John!"

Jack ushered Kate into their cave, disappearing from everyone else's view. Boone half-expected Locke to continuing walking into the jungle, but Locke stayed against the side of the caves where Jack pushed him. Boone, Locke, and a few other castaways stood for what seemed like hours, waiting for what seemed like hours for Jack to return with some explanation. Whispering could be heard from inside the cave: Jack talking to Kate. It sounded like he was comforting her. Another moment passed and still they waited for Jack. And another moment. And even after a few minutes, they still didn't come back out. The crowd turned to Locke for answers.

"Just give them some time," Locke suggested to the stunned, worried, crowd.

Against the far wall stood a man and his wife, arms wrapped around each other, both equally worried. The wife was shaking. It was like they knew something was wrong. Alex appeared from another cave, brought out by the sudden silence.

"I'm sure everything's okay," Locke finished.

Locke gave the crowd a reassuring smile, and then stepped out into the sunlight. Boone realized the castaways were now staring at him. Maybe they were thinking he knew something, since for the first few months, Boone had been like Locke's right hand mind. But Boone was just as confused as they were. Not knowing what else to do, he echoed Locke's actions, giving them a forced half-smile, and followed Locke outside.

Sayid listened carefully as he ran through the jungle, not yelling out Sawyer's name in fear of missing the smallest cries for help. But all he heard was the casual bird chirp or a random gust of wind. Up until now Sayid tried his best to count the distance between him and the _Black Rock_. Now he had lost count. Surely Sawyer wouldn't be out this far. Suddenly Sayid stopped. A sound caught his attention. A small sound, but still a sound. Like feet shuffling. Sayid's hand fell on the gun at his side, closing around it. He listened closely, trying to make out what the sound was. Breathing. Heavy breathing and feet pounding on the ground. Like someone running for their life. The feet were coming towards him, the pounding sound echoing close by, becoming more and more desperate with each step. In a blink of an eye a form rushed passed Sayid, breathing quickly and heavily. Sayid grabbed at the person's arm, jerking them around before they could get away. It was Sawyer.

"What do you think happened to Jack and Kate?" Boone asked Locke, tearing a leaf off of a branch and crumbling it into his palm as they walked down the slop.

"Whatever it was," Locke began, "it wasn't good."

"I got that part," Boone said lightly.

He looked around, observing the part of the jungle they were in. The trees stood tall, blowing gracefully, causing the leaves to shake to the ground around him. It felt like fall: cool weather, falling leaves. Coming from LA, Boone admitted that he was slightly fearful of the island suddenly turning cold, blowing in the full effects of Old Man Winter. Adapting to weather wasn't something he was good at, and with Shannon, it would've been even worse. He definitely wasn't looking forward to her complains.

"Where do you think the boar is?" Boone asked, wondering how far out Locke was planning on going.

"Depends," Locke replied simply.

"On what?"

"On whether or not they think we're gone," Locke explained, "but we're not looking for boar."

Boone nearly stumbled in surprised.

"We're not?" Boone said, trying to control his anger.

Somehow he knew what was coming.

"No," Locke continued, "Jack caught a good one last night."

"Then what are we doing out here?" Boone asked.

Locke stopped and turned around.

"I thought it'd give us a chance to talk," Locke began, "about the hatch."

Boone's face fell as he stopped in his tracks, feelings of anger and betrayal rousing within him.

"You tricked me," Boone accused flatly.

Locke smiled.

"I didn't think this conversation needed to be overheard," he said.

Boone remembered the knife Locke gave him earlier, and seriously considered using it. He decided against it, figuring what Locke had to say was nothing worth killing over, but he felt better knowing that he had a weapon with him.

"There's nothing to talk about," Boone said, meeting Locke's eyes.

It was like a parent and child game: look me in the eye and tell me that you're not lying. Over the years, Boone had become a pro at this game.

"There's always something to talk about," Locke protested.

He had lost. Boone mentally kicked himself for falling into this trap. Locke definitely knew something was up, and very possibly knew what that something was. Who was he to assume that Locke didn't go back to the hatch after they closed up shop?

"What do you think about what's going on?" Locke asked him.

Boone was startled at the sudden subject change.

"It's weird," Boone forced himself to say, blurting out the first thing that came to mind.

Locke leaned against a tree, placing a hand to his chin thoughtfully. It was a perfect replica of pictures of wise old guys Boone remembered studying in high school.

"I just find it funny that all of this started after you stopped going to the hatch," Locke commented.

Boone noted the 'you' and not 'we'. Maybe he did go back. A feeling of dread suddenly came over him. How much did Locke know? Better yet, how much did Locke know Boone was keeping from him?

"So you think it has something to do with turning off the machine?" Boone asked, playing innocent.

"It seems plausible," Locke said.

Something about the simple tone of his voice told Boone that Locke knew exactly what he was thinking, and was waiting for Boone to catch up. A trap. Boone swallowed nervously.

"Maybe if we turned it back on," Locke began thoughtfully, "kept an eye on things, some of this would stop."

"What do you think the computer has to do with anything?" Boone asked, actually pondering the answer to that question despite the innocence of it.

Ever since Callum mentioned 'the code' Boone wondered just how important that computer was.

"I don't know," Locke said, "but I don't think we should've turned it off. Have you thought about going back?"

"Yeah," Boone lied, knowing it was what Locke wanted to hear, "but it's just a thought."

"Maybe you should think harder," Locke suggested coldly.

Boone was taken aback by the sudden change in Locke's voice. He was suddenly serious and determined.

"I will," Boone said, and looked away from Locke.

A moment of awkward silence passed by, and Boone knew why: Locke was waiting for him to confess something. And when Boone didn't, Locke urged him on with more questions.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Boone?" Locke asked, studying him.

"No," Boone replied, a little too quickly.

Locke took a step forward, and Boone once again remembered the knife at his side. His hand subconsciously inched towards it.

"Look," Boone said, "about the computer, Sayid and I tried but-"

Boone cut himself off, realizing what he said. He couldn't believe it. After all the time he spent making sure he didn't spill anything, he just went and blurted everything out. He could've kicked himself. Boone could've sworn a flame of fury flashed in Locke's eyes.

"What did you say?" He asked darkly.

"I-" Boone stuttered.

"Sayid knows?" Locke cut off.

Locke had the eyes of a madman and the stance of an attacker. Boone had the sick feeling that this conversation would end with him six feet under, buried alive.

"He found out that time when you were locked in," Boone admitted, knowing it would be useless to further his lies, "I didn't think you'd want him to know."

"I wouldn't of," Locke agreed sternly.

Boone felt like an ashamed kid, caught in a whirlwind of lies by his parents.

"Does anyone else know?" Locke asked before Boone could defend himself. Boone didn't reply. "Boone?"

"Kate," Boone admitted, "but that was a long time ago! She probably doesn't even remember! And she promised she wouldn't tell.."

"She's in love," the phrase seemed to sound so awkward coming from Locke, who seemed like the type that had never been in love.

Except at a point in time long ago, Locke had been in love. He even had a family. A family that Boone had murdered. And now Locke was going to kill him.

"She's going to worry about keeping things from Jack, and she'll tell!" Locke finished abruptly.

"She hasn't yet and she won't!" Boone argued. "Anyway, it's a lost cause. The system's down, and that's that."

"Then who's Callum?" Locke challenge.

Boone almost fell backwards in surprise.

"What?" He asked, shocked that Locke knew about that.

He had considered the possibility that Locke knew about Callum, but he never actually thought he did.

"Did you know Shannon's been reading your journal?" Locke asked him.

Boone raised an eyebrow. Truthfully, he wasn't too surprised.

"She confronted me the other day," Locke went on, "she came across an entry where you talked about someone she never heard of before. A guy named Callum. His named was mixed in with vague descriptions of the hatch."

Boone's face fell. He knew it wasn't healthy to keep everything about the hatch inside his head, and he couldn't exactly talk about it to anyone, so he would write it in the journal, describing it as 'the place'. His face fell.

"Shannon knows," Boone muttered to himself in disappointment.

"Who's Callum?" Locke asked again.

Boone sighed, knowing he had no choice, and began the story.

Despite his running, Sawyer's face was a deathly pale instead of red, and reeked of cold sweat. He stood there, unmoving, and just stared at Sayid as he tried to regain control of his breathing. Sawyer's breaths eventually became steadier, but he still didn't look away from Sayid. He seemed to be having trouble forming words. Trying his best to keep his patience, Sayid stared back, waiting for him to say something. The only sound that came was Sawyer's rasp breaths. He was terrified.

Impatience nagging at him, Sayid knew that for both his and Sawyer's own good, he needed to be brought out of the shock. Sayid pulled a hand back, and swung it forward, slapping Sawyer across the face. The smack left an echoing ring in the jungle, and Sawyer's cheek immediately turned a stinging red. Sawyer recovered slowly, glaring at Sayid. Sayid expected him to lash out for hitting him like that, but he never did. He didn't even seem to notice. Sawyer's haunted gaze never changed, not even as he finally spoke up:

"Where's Rebecca?"

His voice was just as rasp as his breathing, though not as unsteady. Sayid raised an eyebrow at the question.

"Rebecca's back at the beach," Sayid told him slowly. He tried of think of what he could say to bring Sawyer out of the shock. "She's okay-" Sawyer looked neither disappointed nor relieved. His expression never changed. "You were with me, Jack, and Kate. Do you remember what happened?"

It was possible that Sawyer was experiencing a mild form of amnesia, which could've been worse. His memory could've been like Claire's, resetting to the time of the crash. But Sawyer clearly remembered Rebecca. Unless the two somehow knew each other before the flight. It was possible, but not likely.

"That guy was going to kill Jack," Sawyer recalled gloomily, "I killed him."

So maybe that's it, Sayid thought, could he possibly just be in shock from the murder?

"That thing came," Sawyer continued, without having to be urged to do so, "Jack stayed for Charlie and Claire. I ran." Sawyer paused a moment before going on. "That thing..it was right over me. It wanted to eat me. It threw me. I landed about thirty feet away. I got up and ran."

When Sayid didn't reply, Sawyer got the wrong idea.

"You don't believe me," Sawyer said, just as dully as before.

"No," Sayid said truthfully, "I believe you."

He was just a little surprised. If that thing wanted to eat Sawyer, why didn't it?

"Where's my stuff?" Sawyer asked himself, noticing it was gone.

"It probably fell off when you were thrown," Sayid suggested.

Sawyer let out a curse of frustration, and then looked around.

"Where're Jack and Kate?" He said, noticing that they were missing too.

"They went back to camp," Sayid explained. He hesitated before continuing. "They think you're dead."

Sawyer stared at him in disbelief.

"What?"

"We just assumed that-"

"And now they're going back to tell everyone I've been eaten, right?" Sawyer said furiously.

His hands balled into fist at his side. Sayid realized what he was so upset about: Rebecca.

"Maybe if we hurry-" Sayid began.

"Yeah, we're gonna hurry," Sawyer cut in, already starting off down the trail.

"Sawyer!" Sayid called after him.

Sawyer spun around.

"Camp's this way," Sayid said, pointing west of them.

For a moment Sawyer looked like he was about to lash out, scream, yell, maybe kick at something in frustration, but he simply nodded, and followed Sayid down the right path.

Jack and Kate sat in their cave, neither one talking nor moving. Neither knew what to say. Sitting with his hands on the edge of the cot that had been left abandoned for weeks, Jack debated on what he should do, what he should say. Even after he talked to Kate, he still had to confront the rest of the camp.

"They're getting restless," Kate noted quietly from where she was sitting behind him, turned towards the wall to hide her tears, "they'll want to know what's going on."

"What should I tell them?" Jack asked her, desperate now more than ever for someone to tell him what he should do.

"The truth," Kate whispered.

She sniffled, and ran an arm across her face to keep herself from crying again. Jack knew that they were out there waiting, probably gathered right outside the entrance, waiting for him to come out. Jack didn't want to go. Behind him, Kate let out another sob, failing at controlling her emotions. It broke Jack's heart to see her so torn up. Turning in his seat, Jack place his hand on Kate's arm, turning her towards him. Kate's eyes met his, filled with pain and hurt. Gently, Jack caressed Kate's cheek with his hand.

"It'll be okay," he promised her quietly, trying to get himself to believe it.

"Stop saying that," Kate said hoarsely.

Jack brushed back a strand of hair just before it fell into her face, hating that there was nothing he could do to make things right.

"He'll be okay," Jack said, this time with more emphasis, "and a doctor never breaks his promise."

A small smile escaped Kate's lips, and Jack instantly returned it.

"I could argue that," she said sorrowfully.

Her smile slowly faded, and a distant, sad, look developed in Kate's eyes. Jack's face fell at his failure to cheer her up, and feeling the need to make up for it, he leaned towards her, kissing her softly in apology. Kate broke the kiss sooner than he had hoped, though she kept her hand rested on his chin, looking down.

"You should go," Kate said quietly.

Jack looked down as well, feeling slightly hurt. Was she trying to get rid of him? Or was she just reminding him that he was avoiding the situation?

"I won't be long," Jack promised, standing up.

He realized for the first time that he was holding Kate's hand. Jack gave it a squeeze, not letting it go until the last possible moment. He reached the exit more quicker than he thought he would, and Jack found that he was unable to step out of it. His muscles weren't corroperating with his mind, which wasn't too keen to walk out itself. Resting his hands on either side of the doorway, Jack took a deep breath, closing his eyes, before walking out. Just as he predicted, a crowd of eager and scared castaways awaited him. Jack looked around at them all, meeting each of their fearful eyes. Jack cleared his throat, swallowing his nerves.

"We went out to the _Black Rock_," Jack began, fighting to keep his voice steady, "to look for Charlie and Claire. While we were searching, I found this room. There was a man in there." Whispers immediately aroused amongst the castaways. "He told me his name was David. He appeared to be from the island."

"You mean he was born here?" Sun spoke up.

Jack's eyes fell on her. He realized that during the course of the passed few weeks, he hadn't said so much as a word to Sun. Not even expressing his mourning of Jin's death. Feeling guilty, Jack tried to express his sympathy as he met her eyes.

"He didn't say," Jack said truthfully, "but he seemed to know the place. He told me that it isn't safe here. He tried to kill me." A few gasps escaped the women population of the crowd. "But Kate came in, so instead, he took her captive. He tried to get me to do it, but I couldn't, so he did. He hit her."

The crowd was deathly silent, looking at Jack with intense sympathy. From the side of the caves, Hurley offered him a half-smile of sympathy.

"He took me outside," Jack went on, the story playing through his head as he called it, "he tried to kill me again. He told me that it was better if I died this way."

"Better than what way?" A man he didn't know asked.

"I don't know," Jack said regretfully, wishing he had the answers, "but things are going to get bad, worse than they already are, and we need to be prepared for that. These things may not happen to just us-" by this, Jack meant the normal rescue parties: Kate, Sayid, and himself, "it could happen to anyone, and as much as I hate to say it, we need to prepare. We need to know what we're going to do, we need to have some kind of.." Jack searched for the word, "game plan. He was right, we're not safe here."

Jack fell silent, hoping to stall time before telling the next part. His plan failed.

"Where's Sawyer?" Asked a shaking voice, approaching him from the crowds.

Jack felt his heart sink to his stomach, creating a sickening pit. Rebecca. She was shaking as she stepped forward, arms wrapped around her chest to try and sieze it. Rebecca's eyes looked red and puffy, and Jack got a horrible feeling that she already knew what was coming.

"Where's Sawyer?" Rebecca asked again.

Her lower lip began to tremble. Jack opened his mouth only to close it, knowing there would be no easy way to tell her. As she walked towards him, Rebecca and Jack met eyes, and she was studying his every move. Jack knew that she was realizing what his silence must mean.

"No," Rebecca whispered in disbelief, shaking her head in denial, "no..no.."

She repeated the single word over and over, walking towards Jack almost mechanically. Rebecca stumbled as she finally reached Jack, and Jack caught her before she hit the ground. Instead of letting go, Rebecca collapsed onto him, clinging onto Jack's arms. Her fingernails dug into his skin, but Jack ignored the pain, and held onto her. Jack tried to ignore the fact that he was hugging someone other than Kate, knowing that she would understand. What was important now was being there for Rebecca, being there for everyone. As flattering as it was to be looked up to, it was hard, and it took a lot out of him.

"Sayid's looking for him," Jack told her quietly, "he said that even if he isn't alive, we could at least have a body to bury." Rebecca didn't seem to hear him. "There's still a chance..you've got to have some faith."

He knew it was a hypocritical thing to say, but he knew that it was important now to keep Rebecca calm. Jack spoke quietly, not wanting everyone to hear. He wished they would turn away. When Rebecca finally loosened her grip on Jack's arm, leaving light red nail marks on his skin, Jack let go as well.

"Why don't you go inside?" Jack said, nodding towards his cave. "Stay with Kate."

Rebecca nodded quickly.

"Take a deep breath," Jack instructed, placing his hands on Rebecca's shoulders to help her keep her balance. Rebecca obeyed. Her frantic breaths calmed, and her eyes once again met Jack's. "It's going to be okay."

Rebecca nodded again, though she obviously wasn't too ready to believe him. Jack watched as Rebecca took what would feel like to her as the long walk to the other cave. His eyes lingered on the entrance a moment longer, and Jack found himself wishing that Kate would walk out to him, even though he just sent Rebecca in their to her so they wouldn't be alone at a time like this. Of anything, Jack wanted to go and be with them, but the crowd's eyes were still watching him. Turning back to them, Jack offered them a fake half-smile.

"You know," Sawyer said as he and Sayid made their way back to camp, "I'm thinking that me and you need to stop taking these little walks through the jungle. Nothing good ever seems to come out of them."

"At least they give us a chance to discuss things," Sayid said, though he was thinking along the same lines.

"Like what?" Sawyer inquired.

"Like the hatch," Sayid replied, quickly changing paths before running into a tree.

Sawyer did the same.

"What?" Sawyer snorted. "You're not gonna start asking me if I'm havin' nightmares, are ya?"

"Have you?" Sayid asked curiously, looking back towards him with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't have nightmares," Sawyer lied with a simper.

After his parents died when he was a kid Sawyer had nightmares for years. Whether it was replaying the murder/suicide or being haunted by what could've been happy times with his parents, nightmares plagued his minds for years. Even now, on the island, the occasional bad dream would float back, and he'd jerk awake, breathing heavily and sweating. When he was a kid he'd sometimes wake up screaming. He just prayed it wouldn't result to that here on the island.

Thoughts of sleeping, even bad ones, made Sawyer feel restless and tired, and his eyelids began to droop heavily, threatening to close. Sawyer allow himself just one moment of peaceful rest, and then snapped his eyes back open, determined to stay awake.

"I thought you might like to know about the hatch," Sayid said, bringing Sawyer out of his thoughts.

"Thought Boone wanted to keep things on the hush-hush," Sawyer replied dryly.

"It's your call," Sayid offered.

"Go ahead, Sloane," Sawyer said with sarcasm.

"You watch too much tv," Sayid commented, amused at the reference.

Sawyer snorted again.

"Boone doesn't want Locke knowing that other people know what's down there," Sayid said, "but I think it's only fair to tell you what's going on."

"Aw," Sawyer said with a smirk, "stop it, I might just begin to think that ya like me."

"It's odd how different people react to trauma," Sayid's comment seemed to come from nowhere, "some people sink into depression-" he paused before continuing, "while others laugh it off. They pretend that nothing happened."

"You tryin' to say somethin'?" Sawyer demanded, clenching his jaw.

As much as he hated to admit it, that was the perfect description of him. After the traumatic events of his childhood, Sawyer knew that he had to come up with some way to deal with it all, and he wasn't exactly the touchy-feeling type.

"Boone and I didn't find the tunnel for weeks," Sayid said, ignoring Sawyer's comment, "when we went through it, we found a room. I was knocked unconscious. A man approach Boone. Boone said that he kept saying the same thing, over and over again: 'Are you him?' Then he started asking about something, a code."

Sawyer stopped short.

"What?" He said, forget about trying pulling off the 'tough guy' appearance.

Sayid turned towards him, noticing Sawyer's sudden change in tone.

"He kept asking Boone if he knew what the code was," Sayid explained slowly.

"Tell him to use the code."

Sawyer remembered the note being shoved into his hands. The guy had been frantic. Then he had jumped into the ocean, and shot himself. Now he couldn't remember where he had put that note.

"Well damn," Sawyer muttered with a shake of the head.

"What?" Sayid wanted to know.

"About a week ago," Sawyer began, recalling the story, "when Kate and I..you know. This guy came up to us, when we were up talkin'. He was limpin'. This guy, he was frantic, and he kept sayin' 'Tell him to use the code.' He gave me this note, with these numbers on him. Then he threw himself into the ocean and shot himself."

Sayid's face contorted in surprise.

"Do you remember the numbers?" Sayid asked him after a long pause.

"No," Sawyer admitted in true regret, "don't remember what I did with the paper either. Sorry."

At first Sayid seemed like he'd let it slide, but anger suddenly overcame him, and Sayid let out a fierce cry of frustration, kicking a nearby rock at least fifty feet. Sawyer looked away as an awkward moment of silence passed. Sayid finally opened his mouth to say something, but instead of speaking, quickly closed it, and spun around swiftly to continue down the path.

Miles away, Locke and Boone were having a similar conversation. Locke let Boone tell the story without interruption, taking all the information in as it came, deep in thought by the end.

"So our code wasn't the right one?" Locke asked when Boone finished.

"Didn't seem like it," Boone replied.

As they talked they walked, not really knowing where they were going. Now they had to complete the task of finding their way back to camp, preferably before nightfall.

"And he didn't tell you anymore?" Locke asked.

"No," Boone said truthfully.

"Then there's only one plausible solution," Locke said, "we go back."

"What?" Boone said, stopping.

Locke turned around.

"You're going to take me back there," Locke said, the tone of his voice dead serious.

Boone stared at him in disbelief.

"No," he said, shaking his head, "we can't. Callum, we kidnapped him. If we go back-" Boone didn't even want to imagine the things that could happen, "no. We can't."

Locke looked down to Boone. The flame flashed in his eyes again.

"We are."

Even though they sat beside each other on Jack's cot, neither had said a word. Each wanted to to express their feelings towards Sawyer, the things they'd miss about him, the good things. It was hard to say which had it worse. They both knew Sawyer well, but Kate knew him since day one. The tears started again. Rebecca listened as Kate cried softly, she herself to in shock to cry anymore. Just this morning she and Sawyer had been together. Just a few hours ago. And now he was gone. Rebecca closed her eyes tightly as the tears threatened to come again. She needed to talk, even if no one was listening. Sitting here in silence was just going to make her even more depress, entrapping her in her thoughts, a place she didn't need to be.

"He told me last night that he thought he was cursed," Rebecca said quietly, "because everyone on the raft died. I told him not to worry. He wasn't going to die."

Rebecca let out an ironic snort.

"It's not your fault," Kate whispered.

Rebecca looked towards her. She never thought that Kate would actually listen.

"Did you love him?" Kate asked her.

The question caught her by surprise.

"I don't know," Rebecca replied softly.

Did she love him? They hadn't been together more than two weeks, but yet it seemed like she had known him all her life. She really cared about him, but did she love him? Jack stepped into the room just then, cutting Rebecca away from her thoughts. Both she and Kate looked up, and both were stricken by his appearance. Jack looked exhausted. His face was pale and eyes were red. Jack looked at Kate, meeting eyes with her before clearing his throat to speak.

"I'm going to go to the beach," he told them, "someone has to tell Shannon, she'll be worried about Sayid, and I want to talk to Alex, make sure she's okay."

They both nodded, though neither processed all of what Jack just said.

"Will you two be okay?" Jack asked them, concerned.

"Yeah," they both muttered, both lying.

Rebecca could tell that Jack was hesitant to leave, probably because of Kate. She felt another sob threaten to escape her throat as she was reminded how she could've had someone like that. Jack gave each of them a sympathetic smile, and left. His footsteps could be heard echoing through the caves: the camp was deathly silent.

Jack had never been so grateful to be on the beach. He would've gotten sick, had he had to stay in the caves one more moment. But as he entered the camp that was slightly unfamiliar to him, Jack found himself wishing that he had brought Kate along. They could've gone for a walk, maybe talked, done something. Now Jack was being stared at again, and it was only when he passed by a burnt out fireplace that he remembered Sawyer had stayed at the beach. He remembered back to the first week of the island, when he first found the caves. Sawyer didn't want to go, but Jack had the feeling that he was only staying because Jack was leaving. He wanted to prove him wrong.

"What are you doing here?" A shaky voice asked.

Looking up, he saw that Alex was also at Sawyer's camp. A hand was wrapped around her stomach, as if she were sick. Her eyes were swollen red from crying.

"I actually came to see how you were doing," Jack admitted.

"I'm doing fine," Alex said, probably more harshly than she meant to.

It was obviously a lie. Jack shook his head.

"Don't start this," he said warningly.

"I want to be kept alone," Alex said, fighting to keep her voice steady.

"Alex-" Jack began desperately.

"I want to be left alone!" Alex cried, tears forming in her eyes.

Jack looked down to the ground, knowing his good intentions would be proven useless.

"I'm here if you need to talk," Jack said quietly, and turned around.

Behind him, Alex wanted to call him back, admit that she was lying, but she couldn't form the words. So instead, she just let him go.

Walking into the adjacent room from the hatch for the first time was a surreal experience for Locke. The place was dark and damp, but yet it possessed a certain mysterious feeling. Locke couldn't quite place his finger on it.

"What is this place?" He asked himself, not meaning for Boone to hear.

"You might want to get your knife ready," Boone warned.

Locke just chuckled. One thing he was sure of was that he wasn't going to end up in the same kidnapping ordeal as Boone and Sayid. He was more careful than them, more aware of his surroundings, he was sure of that.

"What the hell?" Boone said suddenly.

He didn't get a chance to ask what was wrong before Boone took off, running towards some tables sat up on a side wall, lined with computer screens and one long keyboard.

"You better come see this," Boone said, sounding in shock.

Quickly walking over to where Boone was standing, hovering over one of the middle computers, Locke squinted through the darkness to see what he was looking at: writing. White writing.

"What is it?" He asked Boone as he approached them.

"I don't know," Boone said, mouth fallen agape in awe.

Locke stepped into the space beside Boone, getting a better view of the screen. Writing was definitely on the screen.

**Who are you?**

Boone could do nothing but stare at the screen.

"I think they're wanting an answer," Locke said, jerking Boone out of his daze.

Scanning the keyboard, Boone looked for the letters he needed. At last he found them.

_I'm a survivor of a plane crash._

**Flight 815?**

Boone looked at Locke in surprise, wondering if he should reply. Locke nodded in approval.

_Yes._

**Where are you?**

This was it, he thought, for real this time. We're going to get rescued..perfect timing too. But this seemed a little too perfect of coincidence for Boone's liking, once it got right down to it. All of a sudden a computer just starts talking to them?

_On an island in the South Pacific_

There was a puse, and then..

**And you have a computer?**

Boone realized for the first time how odd this must be for the person they were talking to. For all they knew, it was someone on some instant messenger in a big city somewhere. Some little kid who was messing around in chat rooms while their parents were out.

Yes

There was another pause.

"Do you think they're thinking?" Boone asked Locke when the pause lingered on.

"I don't know," Locke replied simply.

"Going to get help?" Boone suggested hopefully.

"Maybe."

A long moment of silence slowly passed by. Water dripped from what sounded like a leaky pipe in the distance, and Boone glanced around worriedly. Everything appeared to be the same as it was when they left the place the first time, down to the chair Callum tied Sayid to. Boone was sure that at any moment Callum would come running in, ready to kill.

"Look," Locke said suddenly.

Words were forming on the scene. It took Boone a moment to realize what he was reading, and when he did, he was certain that it had even caught Locke off guard. Maybe it even scared him, as it scared Boone. What he read was the last thing he expected. What was written was impossible. But yet, he wasn't that surprised. He learned to accept that anything and everything could happen on the island, but like now, it just took some to process. But now..it was just unreal. He reread the statement, just to make sure he read it correctly, feeling himself freeze up in fear:

**GET OFF OF OUR ISLAND**

All in caps. Simply said. Simply demanded. Impossibly demanded. Before Boone had anymore time to force himself out of shock, the computer screen went blank, and then turned to static. After that, even Locke was left speechless.

Author's Notes: Okay, I know what you're probably thinking, that this is ridiculous, but I think it'll turn out okay. It's kind of my take on the computer IMing thing/the end of(SPOILER WARNING FOR NEXT EPISODE) "The Hunting Party"'s promo. The next part of the story will probably be intense, with those at the caves and beach thinking Sawyer's dead, Boone and Locke getting in over their heads with this computer thing, and of course, the monster. And yes, I realize a great deal of this chapter was spent by people following others to paths..maybe this chapter should've been called 'follow me':-p Thanks so much for the reviews! I do hope you guys stick with me to the end, and aren't too disappointed. You guys rock anyway!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

(singing) People laughing, people crying, people living, people dying..okay so trust me, you don't want to hear me sing, and I don't even know if I got the words right. By the way, I don't own that song, but I believe the Black Eyed Peas do. Honestly though, like I said, things are going to get intense, for everyone, including an OC couple that is going to be introduce soon. These guys aren't going to take over, but as the fuselage population slowly decreases, other characters will feel the need to say something every now and then. This couple even have their own back story which, personally, I'm fond of. I think it's "Lost-like". I hope it is, anyway. As for what's coming up in the immediate future? Callum's back and not happy, and that's all I'm sayin':-p

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	21. The Chaos Theory

In the End

Chapter Twenty-One

**Author's Note:** If you haven't seen season two and don't want any clue at all as to what's going on, don't read this author's note. Don't worry, you won't miss out on anything. This is the point where my story becomes similar to season two. I've made it to where there aren't many spoilers in this, so just in case someone reading hasn't seen season two and does want some clue(wow I'm confusing myself) I'll put it in vague(my new word) terms so that I don't give away too much. One particular plot, mostly brought up in this chapter, is very similar to something happening in season two. I didn't intend for it to be that way, but it was kind of inspired because the character in this story and a certain guest star in season two are similar and I was inspired by that..and Tim Robbins in War of the Worlds:-p Anyway, they are similar, but not a like. They're happening for different reasons. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, try and forget that overly confusing paragraph. You can ask me if you want, but it's not necessary.

Also, I know the chaos theory presented in this chapter isn't exactly the real chaos theory, but it's the island's version:-p

And don't forget, what happened to Claire in Fated is different then what happened in the show..if I remember correctly she never even escaped.

**Disclaimer:** _A Wrinkle In Time _was written by Madeleine L'Engle. The themes about the book I mention in this chapter may be totally wrong, but for the sake of the story, bare with me. Yell at me later:-p

_If that great brain were cut, were crushed, would every mind under ITs control in Camazotz die too?..Was their life completely dependent on IT?_

- _A Wrinkle In Time_ by Madeleine L'Engle

**Chapter Twenty-One: **The Chaos Theory

The static left a soft buzzing noise that echoed in the room, leaving a ringing sensation in Boone's ears. He kept staring at the computer, waiting for something else to come up, but the screen only stared back at him. Behind him stood Locke, for once, just as in shock as he was. Boone was sure that this would be one of the only times that he would see Locke puzzled. They were both dumbfounded, and their hope was belittled with that one conversation. Even if they were to get the screen to come back up, they would still be talking to that person, someone who clearly didn't want them there. But even though the person on the other line wasn't their for them to see, Boone thought there was something odd about his wording. He almost seemed afraid. Afraid for them.

"What the hell did you do?"

Boone spun around, knocking his knee against a computer chair he never even noticed was there. Callum was approaching them, walking through the dark shadows of the room. He could feel Locke's eyes watching him instead of Callum, obviously looking for answers.

"I don't understand-" Locke began.

"Back away!" Callum shouted, rushing towards the desk.

Boone and Locke immediately jumped out of the way to allow Callum through.

"Get away from there!" Callum exclaimed, even though they were already a good distance away.

Frantically Callum started pressing buttons, occasionally banging on them, like a little kid who didn't know what he was supposed to do with a keyboard.

"Is something wrong?" Locke asked.

Boone wished he would be quiet. He didn't know for sure how capable of being a "bad guy" Callum was, and he didn't plan on finding out.

"Get out of here!" Callum shouted, catching them both off-guard.

Boone actually found himself offended that Callum didn't take note of who he was.

"Get out!" Callum yelled again, inputting multiple codes into the computer, hands finding their way around the keypad like he was playing a complicated piano solo.

For the first time, Boone noticed the rifle that bounced against Callum's thigh from where it was hung on his shoulder. He began to step back, slowly nearing the exit, eyes never leaving the gun.

"Wait!"

Boone skidded to a stop. He was only slightly surprised to see that Locke hadn't moved an inch towards the door. Callum turned towards him, and through the light that radiated out of the computer, Boone noticed that he was wearing boots. Hiking boots. Boone recognized them as a fairly new style of shoes, but they were covered from heal to lace in dried mud. Yet there was no mud tracks in the hatch.

"I recognize you," Callum said, approaching him, pointing an accusing finger at him, "you were just here. I few days ago." Boone tensed as Callum's hand found the barrel of the gun. "I kidnapped you. You knocked me out." Boone didn't reply. "Where are the others?"

"I don't know," Boone replied truthfully.

He couldn't remember seeing neither Sayid nor Sawyer that morning at the beach.

"And who are you?" Callum said to Locke.

Callum now had the rifle in his hands and was jabbing it at Locke.

"My name's John Locke," Locke replied quickly. Boone looked at him in surprise, "I was with him-" he waved towards Boone, "on the crash."

For one fearful moment Boone thought that Locke was going to say something about their past before the crash, but after the brief introduction, Locke offered no more.

"Why'd you come back?" Callum demanded after taking a moment to take in what Locke told him. At least he believed them this time. "Why'd the hell did you come back?"

The gun wavered between Locke and Boone. Boone's eyes trailed down to the trigger, where Callum's sweaty, shaky finger was ready to pull it at any given moment.

"Well I don't blame ya," Callum said when neither answered. He lowered the gun and looked around the room, "damn creepy place if you asked me."

"Who are you?" Locke inquired, taking Callum's sudden calmness to their advantage.

Callum glanced from Locke to Boone, and then to the computer behind them. The static was still dancing on the screen, teasing them with the answers they couldn't have.

"I was in a crash, all right?" Callum said, sighing exasperatedly. "A long time ago. I was with a few other guys, flying from Canada."

Locke raised an eyebrow, and Boone knew what he was thinking. Ethan was from Canada.

"Only three of us survived," Callum continued, "we walked around the jungle for days. We kept seeing things. Smelling things. Like smoke. We were convinced we weren't alone. But we were proven wrong."

Callum turned away from them, a distant, haunted look in his eyes. Boone almost felt bad for him. After all, everyone on the island had a story.

"Daniel," Callum went on, "didn't last a day out there. He fell. Broke his neck. It seemed a little too much of a coincidence for us, going into the jungle and immediately one of us dies, so we hid his body in a cave, said a quick prayer, and went on. And then he found us."

"'He'?" Locke repeated in interest.

"He wanted to kill us at first," Callum said, ignoring Locke's comment, "but we tricked him, said that we'd be helpful to him, even though he had know idea what kind of hell he was apart of-" Callum let the slid back onto his shoulder and balanced it there, stuffing his hands inside his pockets. He took one last look around the back of the room before turning back to Boone and Locke. "If only we knew then what he was really up too-" he shook his head, "doesn't matter now, anyway."

Callum diverted his eyes to the ground, glaring at it coldly.

"We always tried to get out of this after coming down here," Callum continued quietly, "and then one day he left. Just like that. Never saw him again."

A long moment of silence followed. Boone wanted to say something, ask questions, but every time he opened his mouth to do so, nothing came out. Locke was quick to cover for him.

"The one who disappeared?" Locke began. "Ethan?"

Callum looked up at him in surprise. His eyes were filled with a sadness Boone didn't expect Callum to posses, but then again, everyone was entitled to their feelings. He never thought about it before, but Callum could be just as in over his head as he was, and his history on the island could be just as painful as all of theirs.

"He showed up at our camp," Locke went on, "kidnapped two of us, hung one of them. We managed to save one of them, but he kept the other with him. She was nine months pregnant."

By his reaction, Boone knew it was safe to say that Callum knew nothing of what Locke was saying. He looked surprised, angry, even betrayed. But all of that soon faded, and Callum's face once again grew dark.

"He was only trying to protect her then," Callum said defensively, "keep her child away from this life. He gave her to one of them, didn't he?"

"He may have planned too," Locke agreed, "but we found her, in a place like this. We searched it, and found some kind of experimental site. Do you know about this?"

Callum didn't answer right away, nor did he defend Ethan again. Once again he looked furious, but whether it was because of what Ethan did or because he wasn't included in the plan, Boone couldn't tell.

"No," Callum finally admitted.

He kicked at the ground and bit his lip, holding back a curse.

"I-I'm sorry," he said sincerely, "I didn't know. Honestly. Sorry for the inconvenience. You..you can go now."

Callum waved a hand towards the door, ushering them out, as if all it took to make everything okay was an apology. Boone felt himself growing furious, more frustrated by the minute.

"You little-" he made to charge towards Callum, but Locke held out a hand to stop him.

"So what did you do?" Locke asked loudly to get Callum's attention. "Down here? What did you do?"

Boone had been looking towards the ground as Locke spoke, and when he looked up, he saw that Callum was leaning forward against the computer table, hands grasping it for support. Locke's eyes trailed to the computer.

"What's that for?" He said, motioning towards the static-filled screen.

"It controls everything," Callum replied darkly, breathing heavily as if he had just run a mile.

He stared at the screen with a cold intensity that no one should posses.

"The island," Callum went on, "without this, the island wouldn't exists. It would just be..an island. It wouldn't be _special_."

"What?" Boone blurted out before he realized what he was doing. "I don't understand-"

"What do you know about that computer?" Callum asked him, cutting Boone off. He waved towards the opening that led to the original hatch. "The system that's down?"

Boone thought quickly, going over everything he discovered about it over the past few months.

"That it can control minds," Boone said thoughtfully, "read minds. Keep control of things."

"Exactly," Callum said. He never turned away from the screen. "It controls you. You don't realize it, but every step you take, every thing you think, it's monitored, okayed, by the force of that computer. It keeps everything together, holds it in place-" he turned back towards Locke and Boone, and leaned against the table, "and what happens when that one experimental variable, that one thing that holds the pieces together falls apart?"

Boone stared back at Callum blankly. What he was saying sounded so insane, even though he pretty much knew what he was talking about.

Callum's hands smacked together, as if signaling an explosion.

"Chaos."

The one word would linger in Boone's mind for days, eating up his thoughts, taking control of him. Chaos. That's what's going on, he realized, a chaotic mess that tore the world as they knew it apart.

"You get so used to having something help you think," Callum continued, walking towards them, "you don't realize it, but it's there, and suddenly, everything's just a little bit easier. You're in this place, but there's someone-something- out there that's watching over you, and whether you believe it's a god or a computer, it keeps you going. Do you really think that you could've lasted on the island as long as you've been there if it was like it is now? Constant attacks, constant murderers, over and over and over again. It really messes with the mind, mate, and that's why I like being down here, to control it all-" his eyes met Boone's, and for a moment, it was almost like Callum was trying to- or maybe was- reading his mind, "but I can't do that now, can I?"

Callum's chaos theory reminded Boone of a story he had to read for school once, _A Wrinkle In Time_, about time travel and tesseracts. There was a hidden meaning to the story, though, one that he was surprised the teachers expected middle school students to catch: a theme about control and brainwashing. Wondering into places you don't belong and overtaken by its spell. A theme about the madness of a world, a world that could only exists on fiction planets and deserted islands..yet at the same time the similarities between the planet Camazotzs and the real world could be pinpointed by even a fifth grader.

"And so the world falls apart," Callum went on, breaking Boone from his thoughts, "and we just sit here, and let it do so."

Boone watched Locke as he studied Callum, who was staring distantly at the wall.

"When Boone told me about you," Locke spoke up carefully, "he mentioned something about a code that could fix everything. What happens if we find it?"

At first Callum had no reaction. Then a mixture of emotions came at once: first he looked furious, but then an evil grin curled at his lips, and he turned towards them what's more.

"Then we could all celebrate our miraculous victory," Callum said, "but good luck finding it, mate. Until then, you best get your affairs set straight, and stay out of the jungle."

"Why?" Said Locke, speaking what Boone was thinking at the moment. "Why stay out of the jungle?"

"That thing should be out there, shouldn't it?" Callum said, sounding confused. "And it's for real this time, mate. No second chances."

Boone was confused, but Locke seemed to understand everything Callum was saying, despite his many questions.

"Well don't wear out your welcome," Callum said quickly to avoid silence, "I guess you better start finding that code, huh?"

Locke nodded. Boone looked towards him in surprise.

"What?" He hissed. "Are you crazy?"

"Your dream," Locke reminded him, "with the numbers?"

He had completely forgotten about the dream.

"It was only a dream," Boone said, "this..this is insane."

"Is it?" Locke said, crossing his arms, "then what have you been doing down here for the past four months?"

Boone hesitated. He was cornered. They had what could be a code, and it was always worth a try.

"I don't know you personally," Callum spoke up, "but when a man goes back to somewhere he left, he either forgot something, or is looking to do something; and I can assure you, mate, you didn't forget anything."

Callum grinned again. He didn't know how it happened, but suddenly it seemed liked Callum and Locke had some mutual agreement that he was left out on. Boone didn't want to be down here anymore than he had to, after all, this was supposed to be like his retirement, but he knew this was all his fault, and he had to fix it.

"All right," Boone agreed, reluctantly, "I'm in."

Both Callum and Locke grinned. At that moment, Boone realized how similar they both were, but he couldn't put a finger on why.

"Let's get to work then," Callum said happily, and swiftly turned back towards the computer.

But unlike before, the screen was now blank again, awaiting them to start their 'work'.

**Author's Note:** I know this chapter was especially short, but I felt that it needed to stand alone, what with all the information given in it. I'll try and put another out soon with more in it: Jate, Sebecca, Alex, the whole shabang. Thanks so much for all the reviews! Hang tight, it'll be a bumpy ride to the end, but I hope in the end you'll be satisfied. But I truly appreciate that yall stick around each update, and want always want more..at least, you claim you do..o.O As always, you guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

You should probably be able to predict what's going to happen next chapter, which will probably be a songfic. To which song, you may ask? That's for me to know and you to find out:p There should be lots more Jate coming up, and more of those Alex-Jack conversations. Charlie, Claire, and the baby are well and will be returning, which means they'll all have to adjust to "baby-island". Fun, fun, fun.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	22. Saved

In the End

Chapter Twenty-Two

**Disclaimer:** "Everybody Hurts" belongs to R.E.M. I'm just borrowing it because everyone was hurting in this chapter, and then they weren't. Hence 'saved':p

**Chapter Twenty-Two:** Saved

Alex scanned the beach, using her eyes to block the sun. The once crowded and hectic camp now seemed to empty. Camps were left abandoned, clothes hung on clotheslines, and books were left marked. Items were left alone to the memory of their previous owner, as if one were afraid if they moved it they would be haunted by that person's spirit.

The once calm shore, empty shoreline that provided a reverie for whoever needed it was now more crowder than usual, serving as a silent shrink. No one talked to each other, not knowing what to say. People who never once spoke would sit together at night for the fear of being alone, but still no one spoke. Personally, at the moment Alex preferred the beach to the caves, simply for one reason: Jack was there. And when Jack was around, people seemed to loosen up a little. The caves were actually hectic, like midmorning office hours. At nights, though, she had begun to stay at the beach, despite the absence of Jack.

The jungle simply held too many memories for her. Presence of others always seemed to be around, though the only life seen for miles were trees. It was the same feeling she got every time she went through or drove by a cemetery, and Alex knew what this had to mean: her powers were coming back. And it scared her. For the past few days her mind had been free of visions, dreams, everything. While it worried her, it also relieved her. For those few days, the only person she had to worry about was herself.

A blonde woman walked passed her, hurried as if she wanted to get to where she was going without being spotted. It was normal behavior of the island residents, almost a goal: don't be stopped and you won't have to talk. It was like a secret catch phrase that had been passed around subconsciously from survivor to survivor. The woman was almost out of her path before Alex recognized her for who she was, the one who cried the most at the caves earlier, the one who collapsed into Jack's arms. Her reaction to the news had been so emotional and unexpected that it drew apart the crowd, who would've stood there staring at each other all day if they could've. Alex had seen her around the camp a few times, but only recently did she see her everyday, with Sawyer.

"Rebecca," Alex called after her, the name coming to mind automatically without having to think about it, just like when she first was experimenting with what she could do; if it was real. For awhile it was cool, but then it started to scare her.

Rebecca spun around at the sound of her name, and stared at Alex. Her cheeks were stained with tears like she applied teardrop foundation instead of light. The skin of her face was paler than normal, and she was shaking. Alex searched for words of comfort that she could say to her, anything, but the pressure got to her.

"It'll be okay," she blurted out, desperate.

Rebecca didn't respond, but she didn't object either. Not at first.

"You don't know that," Rebecca choked out, her voice trembling.

"It'll be okay," Alex said again, this time more confident.

Fake confidence was the only thing she had left. Suddenly she became more appreciative of Jack, who always had something to say to anyone, or Kate, who always had a smile to give. When they were together, it really worked beautifully. But it didn't work with Alex. Rebecca shook her head in disbelief. Before Alex could attempt to change her mind, Rebecca stormed off, heading towards her camp, and Alex knew what she had coming: nights of no sleep, nightmares of guilt, not being able to eat, barely being able to function. She hated just having to sit and watch it happened. Because she hardly saw her before she was with Sawyer, Alex assumed that Rebecca had been an outcast, and she would be again. Like with every other death, people would be too afraid to talk to her. And now even Alex, who was a pro when it came to dealing with deaths, had nothing to say. So like everyone else, she went back to what she was doing, and pretended like everything was okay.

The sight of her own empty camp caught Alex's eye, and she ran towards it. Suddenly feeling exhausted, she flopped down into the sand, and looked out to the sea in front of her. After riding over bridges and seeing the bodies of water in New York for the passed year, Alex still expected to see a ship, sailboat, or at least some kind of bird on the horizon, coming towards her. But now what used to be an everyday custom was a lost hope and a wall of reality.

Sighing, Alex tried to remember why she came here, momentarily forgetting. Maybe that was because the person she was looking for wasn't there. Like always. Over the passed few days, her mother seemed more like the teenager of the two, sneaking off, staying out late, being secretive. She was hardly able to get a 'Hello' or 'Goodnight' out of her. Alex wasn't all that surprised that her mother wasn't here, but that didn't stop her from feeling sorry for herself. And frustrated. And angry. Wasn't the mother supposed to be there when her daughter needed her? Blinking, Alex tried to stop herself from crying. It was ridiculous, she thought, fretting over this. But at the same time, she couldn't help to feel hurt. She knew it was Locke's fault, anyway. Danielle as obviously hanging around him, and Boone confirmed that theory. After all, people didn't just randomly meet and make out in jungles.

"That book was good," someone commented from behind her.

Alex jumped. So her mother was around. Looking beside her, Alex noticed a closed book sitting on a beach towel: _Jurassic Par_.

"Kind of makes you feel a little better about the whole stranded on an island thing, huh?" Alex snorted.

As if it was offended, the island gave a sudden jerk, occupied by a low rumble. Heads jerked towards the jungle, and sighs of relief could be heard throughout the camp when nothing else followed.

"Guess that was kind of like an aftershock," Danielle said from behind her.

There was a touch of sympathy in her voice as she sat down beside Alex, putting the book aside. The dinosaur on the cover stared up at her until the book was out of sight, like she needed a reminder of what was going on.

For a moment they just sat there, neither having anything to say, or whether, too much. Alex wanted to mention Locke, demand to know what was going on, but she didn't want to take the chance of losing the conversation.

"Sawyer's missing," Alex finally said, her voice just above a whisper.

She hated saying 'dead'. Jack said that there was still a chance, that they should still keep that hope. He didn't sound too sure of himself, but if Jack said they still had hope, they still had hope. Alex knew Jack didn't like that kind of pressure being put on him, but she couldn't help it. It seemed to make everyone else feel the least bit better, and she wanted that hope too. Because every time she said 'died', it made the situation that much more final.

"I know," Danielle replied.

There was no emotion in her voice. Of course there wouldn't be, she realized, Danielle didn't know Sawyer, or anything about him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Alex looked up at her mother in surprise, the question caught her off guard. She tried to say something, but failed. It was weird. Now that she had a chance to say something, suddenly she didn't feel like doing so.

"I'm-"

Before she got to finish her lie, a cry broke apart the conversation.

"Hey, can someone help me over here?" Someone yelled from nearby. "I think she fainted!"

Alex jumped to her feet on instinct, and ran towards the scream, Danielle following right behind her. The man yelling for help was young, with a scar running across his neck.

"Thank God," he said hurriedly, putting a hand on Alex's shoulder. She shivered at the touch- she hated it when people she didn't know tried to touch or hug her. "I'm Derek, by the way, but really, I have no medical background, so..good luck."

He ran away before Alex could get a question out of him. Forget he just left an unconscious person at the hands of a sixteen year old girl. Fear engulfed her, and Alex swallowed. Danielle was already on the ground, checking the woman's pulse, asking for water, completely fearless. Alex watched her in admiration, while she stood their, frozen.

"We need to get her to Jack," Danielle said urgently, looking up briefly towards Alex.

"No," said Alex suddenly, snapping out of her daze.

Danielle stared at her. Alex blinked. She didn't even know why she just said that. It just came to her. No, he shouldn't be taken to Jack. Jack shouldn't be bothered why not.. She didn't know why, she just knew that it shouldn't happen.

"No?" Danielle repeated in disbelief. "You're not going to help her?"

Alex couldn't answer. Danielle stared at her coldly for a moment, and Alex knew that had they had privileges to take away, she'd be grounded in a flash.

"Move," Danielle demanded sternly, already picking up the woman with the help of another castaway who ran over.

Scurrying out of the way, Alex watch in a daze as they carried the woman off, and it wasn't until they were almost into the jungle that she realized who it was that fainted: Rebecca.

(space)

She moaned as she slowly came back to life, forcing her heavy eyelids open painfully. Before she got a blink out of them, they snapped close in exhaustion. With one more try Rebecca was finally able to confirm that she was alive. In a sluggish movement she glanced around the cave she was in, and spotted Jack by the wall. He looked exhausted, defeated somehow, as he stared down at the batch of medicine laid out before him. Letting out a sigh, Jack reached forward, and grabbed a bottle of Tylenol.

"Is that for me?" Rebecca asked hopefully, in a weak voice.

Jack's head snapped towards her, and a quick flash of disappointment crossed Jack's face. He obviously didn't mean for her to see that..the medicine was clearly for him.

"Uh.." Jack said, making his way towards her, "you feeling okay? You scared us."

"Fine," Rebecca replied miserably.

Turning her head, she stared up to the ceiling. She should've known this would happen. Once you step foot into a group, there was no going out. No matter how hard she tried to become an outcast again, she would always be drawn towards the dangers and excitement of the main crew: Jack, Kate, Locke, Boone, and at one time, Sawyer. She should've known this would happen, right from the very start.

"Here," Jack said, handing Rebecca a bottle of water, "drink that. I think you're just dehydrated."

But when Jack turned around, a flash of sympathy came over Jack's face, along with a look of guilt in his eyes, and she knew he knew what was really wrong. It wasn't that she was dehydrated- that was just a simple, easy lie to cover up the real problem that neither of them wanted to confront.

"Guess you better start finding me a shrink, huh?" Rebecca said with dry amusement.

She sounded so much like Sawyer it scared the both of them. Rebecca shivered, she could've sworn the room just turned colder.

"I think that's for you to decide," Jack said, giving Rebecca a small smile. She tried to smile back, but felt miserably, and in her defeat, she turned away. "But Rebecca-" she looked up at him again, a her face worn and saddened, "you're not alone."

She turned back around, neither arguing nor accepting what Jack said. Rebecca knew Jack was watching her as she tried to drift into her own world, desperate for some kind of escape. Jack wanted to give her that peace, but at the same time, he didn't think she should be alone. Then again, he didn't know exactly how close Sawyer and Rebecca were.

"Can I go back to the beach now?"

Jack snapped back to the reality, slightly surprised at how childlike Rebecca sounded. He swallowed before answering.

"Do you feel up to it?" He asked, concerned.

"Yeah," Rebecca lied.

A constant pounding had developed within her skull, but she just wanted to get out of there. Jack gave her a doubtful look, but helped her up anyway. She looked down as he walked her out of the caves, putting an arm around her for balance. Eyes followed them out, and Rebecca could just hear the questions they had ready for her in her head, words of concern, and words of pity. She didn't want any of it.

The familiar sound of the crashing waves brought Rebecca's gaze back up, but when she looked around the camp, it all seemed so foreign. People were going about their everyday business, as if nothing had happened. It made Rebecca furious. Tempted not to lash out at the camp, Rebecca glanced towards Jack, and noticed he was staring at something. Raising an eyebrow, she followed his gaze to down by the shore, where he was watching someone, a group. That's when she noticed the crying- how could she not have heard it before now? Wailing filled the air, followed by nervous laughter. The crying finally seized just as people started to turn around. Now they were all watching. Claire and Charlie had returned, a baby in tow.

Locke was approaching the three now, smiling broadly. Boone was following him from nearby, but stopped at a distance, and watched along with the rest. Claire was beaming, and Charlie was smiling nervously. He looked happy, but it was clear that he hadn't expected to be in this position.

Rebecca looked up at Jack again, curious to see his reaction. It surprised her. He looked happy, content, but yet there was something else in his fixed expression that Rebecca couldn't place a finger on. Jealousy, maybe? Or maybe longing. She couldn't help but to wonder if Jack and Kate had maybe any plans for the future.

"Go ahead," Rebecca heard herself say.

She didn't want Jack to be put out of the action just because of her.

"What?" Jack asked, turning to her.

Rebecca gave him a forced smile.

"Do your doctor thing," she explained, "I'll be fine..I'm fine..I know you want to go see them."

Jack looked from Claire, Charlie, and the baby, to Rebecca, as if he were making a decision.

"Go ahead," Rebecca said again, and swallowed.

Though she was telling Jack to go, part of her wanted him to stay. She had a feeling that Jack wasn't the type of person to offer pity, or false sympathy. Laughing erupted near the shore. Locke was now holding the baby. Even from the distance the baby looked beautiful, big, but no more than a year old. Tiny curls of blonde hair were poking out of its soft scalp. He'd definitely looked like Claire, and judging from the fact that the father wasn't on the plane with the eight month pregnant mother, Rebecca assumed that was a good thing.

"Do you want to come with me?"

Rebecca's eyes snapped away from Claire and the baby, and back up to Jack.

"What?" She said, puzzled.

Jack smiled at her.

"To see the baby."

Blushing, Rebecca shook her head.

"I don't even know them," she said, "and I hate awkward moments."

"You sure?" Jack asked. She nodded. Jack placed a hand on her shoulder. "If you need anything, just ask. You're not alone."

Rebecca nodded, staring down at the sand beneath her feet. She felt like a kid who couldn't take care of herself. Jack gave her shoulder a squeeze, and then walked off, towards Claire and the baby. Watching him go, Rebecca found her herself jealous, fearing that she may never have that kind of happiness again.

(space)

As Jack walked away he felt guilty for leaving Rebecca, but at the same time he felt a selfish sense of relief. He was never good around people who had just lost someone. Death, though it was part of his profession, wasn't the easiest thing for him to deal with, and while around those who were surrounded by it, Jack always found that he really had nothing to say. Sometimes it was because he felt guilty, even if he had nothing to do with the cause of death, or sometimes it was because he was mad that another innocent soul was taken,just like that. What scared him most was how fast it could happen, like with Sawyer. He shook his head, determined not to think like that around the baby. The baby. Wow, that sounded so surreal.

Jack put on a smile as he approached the group, and many smiles returned as Claire turned towards him, showing off her child.

"Come on Jack," Charlie said happily, "tell her you see it. That baby has my eyes!"

"Actually, I was thinking your ears," Jack laughed.

Charlie's face fell at the joke.

"Hey mate," Charlie said, trying to sound hurt, "no one asked for insults here."

Claire laughed, a little louder than usual.

"I think he has my eyes," Claire said thoughtfully, "mom would be proud."

A silence followed the comment, each of them knowing they were entering a touchy subject. Claire let out a nervous laugh.

"At least I won't have her here pestering me though," she said lightly, "she probably would've made me name the baby Margaret, or something like that."

Jack smiled, deciding to keep the fact that that was his mother's name to himself. He turned to Charlie.

"Can I talk to you?" Jack asked him.

Charlie saw that he was serious, and nodded, looking worried. Giving Claire and her baby final smiles, Jack led Charlie a few feet away.

"What's up?" Charlie asked right away. "And I was joking about the eye thing."

"I know," Jack assured him. He looked away, watching Claire and Locke talk. "Any trouble getting back?"

"Nah," Charlie replied, "oh yeah, we found Sawyer's bag. He left it up by the ship. Wonder why."

Jack's face grew dark, and he quickly looked towards the ocean.

"What?" Charlie asked him.

"Sawyer..he.." Jack stumbled over his words, still having a hard time wording it, though he had already announced what had happened more than a couple of times that morning, "we don't know if he made it."

And just like that, Charlie's smile faded.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Jack inquired.

Jack cleared his throat nervously.

"That..thing came back," Jack began, "that's why I went back into the ship when we couldn't find you. The rest of them ran- Kate, Sayid, Sawyer. Sayid said he and Sawyer got split up. We couldn't find him afterwards."

Charlie didn't respond. He only stared at him. Jack hated that stare. He had gotten in many times in his life, that stare of disbelief when one was told they lost someone.

"Sayid's out there," Jack said quickly, "looking for him."

"Good," Charlie nodded.

Jack cleared his throat again. It was a habit he developed unintentionally, giving himself something to do when he wasn't sure what to say.

"The baby looks good," Jack complimented, in attempt to break the damper on the once happy moment, "it's beautiful."

"He," Charlie corrected quickly with a smile, "and he is."

He noticed that Charlie was now watching the baby, grinning proudly.

"You know you have to be careful, right?" Jack said, concerned. Part of him worried that Charlie wouldn't take this seriously. "We don't know what they did to him, what they were planning on- Charlie!" Charlie's head jerked back towards Jack, hardly aware of what he was saying.

"I can handle this, all right?" Charlie said, indignant. "What do you know, anyway?"

Jack felt like someone had just thrust a stack of bricks into his chest. His face fell, then grew angry. He had to remind himself that Charlie didn't know about Cat, or anything from his past, for that matter, but he didn't like being judged. The statement was a personal blow as well, like someone was throwing his past back at him, scolding him for not trying harder to fix things with Sarah, for not trying to be apart of the baby's life. Now he'd never get the chance to.

"I just wanted you to know that-"

"You're here," Charlie finished for him bitterly, "yeah, I got it. But believe it or not, some of us can watch out for ourselves here, Jack."

Furious, Charlie stormed passed Jack, putting on a fake smile just as he reached Claire. Jack sighed, and figured it was time to leave.

(space)

"So they think I'm dead," Sawyer said, amused.

"If someone faints when they see you, don't take it personally," Sayid said in his usual emotionless tone.

After talking about the hatch, they walked on in silence. Sawyer knew Sayid was thinking about Shannon, just as he was thinking about Rebecca. Every now and then he'd bring up a conversation to try and keep his mind off of worrying about Rebecca. How was she doing? How did she react when she heard? Did she even care that she might've lost him? He searched for another topic to bring up, he didn't want to think about that.

"It must be hard, huh?" Sawyer said, smirking.

"What?"

Sayid sounded like he already knew a personal attack was coming.

"Having to share her with him," Sawyer replied briskly.

"I'm not sharing Shannon with anyone," Sayid declared confidently, "Boone knows where the line lays."

"Does he?" Sawyer said, just for spite.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sayid demanded.

"Just because you come walking in on their lives don't mean anything," Sawyer began, "you've probably scared his ass off, right? You and Locke both." He snorted. "Poor kid never had a chance."

"Boone knows that Shannon and I are together," Sayid said, "and unlike some, he's respectful of that."

Sawyer raised an eyebrow. Sayid was one of the only ones who would ever answer to one of his comments, probably one of the only ones who could think of something slick enough to say; so Sawyer didn't take the comment personally. He did, though, know what he was referring to, and he didn't like it.

"Well personally, I wouldn't call Boone the most respectful person," Sawyer retorted, "he doesn't exactly have the best taste when it comes to the ladies."

"And what does that have to do with being respectful?" Sayid inquired.

"She's his stepsister."

Sayid didn't have anything to say back. Secretly, Sawyer thought Sayid agreed with him, but he'd never admit to that.

Looking up ahead, Sawyer noticed that they were nearing the caves, and his face grew dark. He stopped.

"What?" Sayid asked him.

"You really this is the best way to announce that I ain't layin' somewhere chewed up?" He said.

"Would you like to say some words first?" Sayid said sarcastically.

"Cute," Sawyer said dully.

Suddenly, going back didn't seem so great anymore. What if Rebecca was relieved he was gone? What if they all felt that way? Hell, they could all be throwing a party in there.

But when Sawyer stepped into the caves, he found that wasn't the case. They reached their destination before he even realized it, and he was just as surprised as the rest of them that he was back. Dozens of eyes stared back at him, in horror and disbelief. If it wasn't for the shock, Sawyer would've been insulted that they didn't seemed too relieved.

"Howdy," he greeted nervously.

Still, no one said anything. Sayid stepped out from behind him, and looked around at everyone. They all stared back. A thick tension was slowly building up in the room, only broken when someone finally stepped out of the crowds. Rebecca. So many emotions were swirling through him, Sawyer didn't know which way to react first. He wasn't used to being in this kind of situation.

Luckily, Rebecca covered for him. She ran towards them, like they were rehearsing an ending to a cheesy romance movie. He caught her as she jumped into his arms, so startled he stumbled back. Eventually he loosened up a little, letting Rebecca cry heavy sobs into his shoulder. So she did care about him, and Sawyer realized he felt relieved at this. The others began to slowly break apart, giving them some space. Sayid gave Rebecca a comforting pat on the shoulder. Sawyer heard him say something about going to look for Shannon, but he didn't say anything back. Closing his eyes, Sawyer held her tighter. At last they pulled apart, but Sawyer never let go of her arms.

"You're head," Rebecca said, trembling, reaching up with a shaky hand to brush her fingers across a cut on his forehead. The cut wasn't bad at all, but Rebecca still seemed concerned.

"It's fine," he told her, bringing her hand down with his, holding it tightly so it wouldn't shake.

"Maybe you should let Jack look at it," she said, stumbling over her words.

Sawyer let out a laugh, knowing she was only telling him this because she was nervous, and didn't know what else to say. He could already see what Jack's reaction to a tiny cut like that would be.

"They..they found your stuff," Rebecca said, shaking and shivering like she was cold, "it's..it's-" she was so torn up that she couldn't finish what she was saying, "God I missed you."

She fell back into his embrace.

"I missed you too," Sawyer mumbled, stroking Rebecca's hair soothingly.

Someone cleared their throat nearby, and the two quickly broke apart. It was Jack. He smiled at them.

"Sayid told me you were okay," Jack said, "I'm glad."

"Yeah," Sawyer said, "me too."

An awkward silence passed by. Rebecca was still holding onto Sawyer, and when he looked down, he noticed her fingernails were digging painfully into his skin. He put a hand over it. Jack saw Rebecca's anxious expression, and knowing the two should probably be together right now, he reached out with a hand. Sawyer shook it firmly.

"We'll talk later," Jack said.

Sawyer muttered in agreement, and watched as he left.

"You hungry?" Rebecca asked him. "Tired? You didn't break anything, did you?"

The wave of questions came in on breath; Rebecca didn't see any less calmer than she was a few minutes ago.

"I'm fine," he grunted, "do you still have my stuff?"

Rebecca looked puzzled before finally responding:

"Yeah."

"Then let's go," Sawyer said, getting the uncomfortable feeling of staying in one place for too long. He had always been a drifter, never living in one place for very long, and the habit remained, even on the island, though not as bad. Now, however, he knew people were watching him, which he didn't like.

Even though he had been in the jungle all day, the paths still seemed strange and unfamiliar. He felt like he hadn't taken them in forever- last night seemed like such a long time ago. For the passed few weeks, days and nights on the island lasted longer and longer, and each day felt like a month. Even Sawyer thought that they were going through too much; it was exhausting.

"Oh," Rebecca said suddenly, "I was so torn up when they brought me your stuff that I gave all your clothes to Boone."

Sawyer looked at her in disbelief. She couldn't be serious. He had never wanted a shower more in his life, and there was no way he was staying in these clothes any longer than necessary. To his surprise, Rebecca laughed at his expression.

"Got 'cha," she said happily, smiling.

Instead of going off at her for fueling him, he put an arm around her, pulling her towards him roughly. She laughed, and squirmed out of his grip.

"Cute."

The joke wore off as they walked on, and Sawyer noticed that Rebecca's expressions and body language were changing rapidly. Suddenly she was moody again, crossing her arms and looking deep in though.

"Somethin' wrong, Sweetheart?" Sawyer shortly after realized how good it felt to be able to use her nickname again.

Rebecca shook her head, but a few paces later, she stuck a hand out to keep him from going any further. They were almost to the sand now.

"Can we stop?" She asked him.

"Somethin' on your mind?" He said.

He watched as Rebecca stared at the ground, contemplating where to start.

"When..you know..I thought you were gone, it gave me a chance to think about things," Rebecca began quietly, "things I'd never get to say, things I'd never get to ask."

"I have to say," Sawyer said with a simper, "you're doin' a fine job of getting to the point."

Rebecca smiled a little. While he was gone, she missed his witty humor, though at times she wanted to beat it with a stick.

"I was thinking over everything you've told me, about your parents, Mr. Sawyer," Sawyer's face fell as he realized what this was about, "and I just..I don't know..it scares me."

His face turned dark, and Rebecca looked away.

"You breakin' up with me, Sweetcheeks?" He inquired.

"And it scares me that you're still with me," Rebecca went on, despite his comments.

"What," Sawyer snorted, "you afraid I'm gonna steal your banana or something?"

She finally looked up, her eyes meeting him, face more serious than he could ever remember seeing it.

"Why did you run off last night?" She asked quietly. "Why..why is it so hard to talk to me?" Her eyes searched his for answers. "Does being with me scare you?"

"No," he lied.

Truthfully, the change Rebecca had made in him terrified him, and the fact that she cared about him so much was not only flattering, but was relieving.

"Then what is it, Sawyer?" Rebecca's voice grew louder as she spoke. "Why do you always run like that? Or lie? Or shut yourself out? Or do all the rest of the stuff you've probably been doing for ages, and leave me in the dark? Do I even matter to you?"

"Yeah, you matter," Sawyer said through gritted teeth.

He felt a little insulted. Sawyer told Rebecca more stuff willingly then he had ever told anyone. Except Kate, of course.

"Then what the hell's your problem, Sawyer?" Rebecca cried. "Are you even telling me the truth? Do you even care that I know or not? Why the hell did you run off last night?"

"Because I love you!"

Sawyer's mouth shut immediately when he realized what he said. Their eyes were fixed on each other's, and neither dared to look away. He wasn't sure where it came from, but he figured it had to come from somewhere because he just said it. Rebecca looked absolutely stunned, like the words had literally hit her. He remembered Jack asking him the night before if he loved Rebecca, and he replied he didn't know. What had happened between now and last night? Maybe distance really did bring people closer together.

"And I didn't want to hurt you," Sawyer finished, more calmly than before, "that's why I didn't tell you. And just so ya know, I usually ain't this generous. I gotta buddy back at home who had to dig up a file to know more about me."

Rebecca crossed her arms. She looked as if though she didn't know what to think, if she should believe him or not. Finally she stepped forward, now only inches away from him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Yeah."

She stared into his eyes, which mirrored the sadness on her face. Then suddenly, she leaned forward, surprising him with a kiss. He gratefully responded, deepening it. Slipping her arms around him, Rebecca pulled herself closer to him. She kissed him a second time, then a third, before breaking apart with a gasp for air.

"We can't," she said, shaking her head.

"Why not?" Said Sawyer, looking hurt.

Rebecca snorted.

"We're in the middle of the beach path!" Rebecca exclaimed. "Anyone could walk by.."

"Then we'll push them out of the way," Sawyer said, sounding confident in the plan.

Rebecca rolled her eyes.

"You should take care of that cut, anyway."

Sawyer scrawled, because he knew the cut wasn't bad without having to look at it. It was barely a scrape, he couldn't even remember how he got it. It was almost as though Rebecca was trying to get rid of him.

"Come on," she said, dropping her arms, "let's go home."

As they walked away, the area started becoming a little more familiar. Out of habit, Sawyer reached back in his back pocket, feeling around for his letter. Then he remembered: they threw it out. Holding back a curse, Sawyer tried not to get upset. After all, it was only a letter. But when he looked down to the ground, to the side of him, Sawyer was sure he wasn't remembering things correctly. There on the ground was the letter, uncreased and clean. He let Rebecca walk on as he bent down to pick it up, but when his hand touched the ground, the letter disappeared.

(space)

Jack finally found Alex sitting on the side of a cliff, staring out at the view it provided. Someone told her she went off this way, but she didn't tell anyone where she was going.

"Hey," he greeted.

She didn't respond. He sat down next to her, and she didn't protest. Alex didn't even acknowledge his presence. Jack watched her, and noticed she seemed off in her own world, but her stare was much darker than Kate's ever was when she drifted off.

"Sawyer's back," Jack told her, "he's okay."

"I know," Alex whispered hoarsely.

She sounded like she had been crying for awhile. Now that Jack thought about it, her eyes looked red too.

"Are you okay?" He asked, even though he knew she wouldn't tell him.

He just hoped she wasn't thinking what he thought she was thinking.

"Don't do this to yourself, Alex," he said, concerned, "you can't blame yourself..for anything."

God, Jack thought, she's only sixteen. Why did all this have to happen to her? If there was any hope of rescue for any of them, Alex would be traumatized for life. Of anything, she'd probably never trust any man she didn't know. She'd never grow up and become happily married, she'd probably never even go back into her music career. She'd just wither away until she finally die out. It was like someone had taken away her soul, never even giving her a chance. She didn't deserve that. No one did.

"After my wife left me I was in real bad shape," Jack began. He found it was easier to get through to people through his own stories. Sometimes it worked, others it didn't. He just prayed this would be one of the few times it did. "I was feeling sorry for myself, I was mad at the world. I wouldn't let anyone in. I started building this wall around me, and soon I was in over my head. So one night, I got in my car, and I just drove. I didn't stop until I reached this bridge. Then I got out, and walked over to the edge."

She didn't comment, but Jack somehow knew that Alex was listening.

"I stood there for hours, just staring. Contemplating. And then I realized that I wasn't ready to give in. People were out there, and they were worried about me. And part of me liked that. I don't really know what it was, but something just told me that it wasn't my time. So I stepped off, and enjoyed the ledge for what it was meant for: the view-" Jack studied Alex, trying to analyze her reaction, which was now none, "this isn't your ledge."

He held out a hand to her, praying she would take it. Alex looked down at it, staring at it for the longest time. At last her hand grasp his, and together they stood up. Alex stared down at the ground. Jack knew from experience she was frightened at what she almost did, and a little embarrassed too. It frightened him too, he didn't want to think about what might've happened had he not found her.

"Thank you," Alex whispered.

Jack shook his head.

"You don't have to thank me."

_When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,_

He didn't realize until now that they were still holding hands, and as if she were reading his mind, Alex let go, cheeks reddening a little. They stood there for a few moments, neither saying anything.

"I think that my mom and Locke are becoming..more than just friends."

Jack looked up in surprised. Personally, he hadn't noticed that the two were together, but then again, they were both never around.

_When you're sure you've had enough of this life,_

"And how do you feel about that?" Jack asked, feeling entitled to help.

"I dunno," Alex shrugged, "I think I'm a little..jealous."

Jack couldn't help but to smile. It was the very last thing Jack thought they'd be talking about, being jealous of Locke.

"What if she becomes closer to him than she is with me?" Alex said, beginning to talk faster. "Not in a romantic way, of course, but..you know.."

_well hang on_

He had the feeling that he did know, and he felt sorry for Alex. Jack knew how much having her mother around meant to Alex, and how much she wanted to get closer to her. He realized that he wanted the same thing for her, because he never had that kind of relationship with his parents.

"Have you talked to her about it?" Jack asked her.

Alex shrugged again.

"Think about it," Jack suggested.

Out of habit, he looked down at his wrist to check the time. Of course there was no watch there.

_Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes_

"We should get back," said.

Alex didn't respond. Instead, she looked back over the edge of the cliff, wrapping her arms around herself. At last she nodded, but never looked away from the edge. Placing a hand on her shoulder, Jack turned her away from it, offering to lead her down the path. After that, she never looked back.

_Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along_

Claire was now showing off her baby in the caves, letting Hurley hold it. He brought the child to his shoulder, and everyone laughed when it spit up. Letting his laughter die out, Charlie looked around, and gave Claire a quick goodbye when he saw Sayid entering the caves.

"Thought you might want these," Charlie said, pulling the stolen maps out of his backpack.

_When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)_

Sayid's eyes narrowed, but he didn't say anything as he took the maps, and stuffed them carefully into his own bag. He expected Charlie to go back to Claire and the baby, but instead he just stood there, rolling nervously back and forth on the balls of his shoes.

"So Claire has a baby," Charlie blurted out.

"Congratulations," Sayid replied sarcastically.

_If you feel like letting go, (hold on)_

Charlie glanced behind him, to where Claire was trying to help Hurley clean up his shirt.

"So I guess I'm going to be like..his father now," Charlie said.

"I'm sure you'll do fine," Sayid voice wasn't very reassuring, but then again, Charlie figured he didn't believe what he was saying. No one thought that Charlie Pace, the former drug addict of the island, could ever take care of a baby. Everyone including him.

"Yeah, well.." Charlie looked behind him again, and saw that Claire was looking at him worriedly, "thanks mate."

_When you think you've had too much of this life,_

Sayid raised an eyebrow as Charlie hurried back over to Claire and the baby, and then shook his head.

_Well hang on_

"So I'm guessing you're not a baby person," an amused voice said behind him.

Turning, he smiled when he saw it was Shannon.

"They have this smell.." Sayid said, "and they're quite loud."

Shannon laughed.

"Then thank God we're staying at the beach," she said.

Sayid laughed, very thankful for that. He grabbed his bag from the ground, and he and Shannon walked out of the caves, more quicker than normal.

_'Cause everybody hurts_

Locke and Danielle were walking through the jungle, alone, away from everyone else. The night was breezy, and his arm was around her shoulders. She was freezing, but still she didn't want to go back to the beach just yet, even though she knew plenty of fires would be burning there.

_Take comfort in your friends_

Danielle liked having someone else to talk to, and even though she mostly rambled on about problems with Alex, Locke still listened.

"Are you two still fighting?" He asked her.

"I don't know," Danielle admitted truthfully, "it's hard to tell."

"She's a teenager," Locke laughed, "you'll never be able to tell."

"You seem sure of yourself," Danielle commented.

"I had a family once," Locke confessed. Danielle looked up at him. Locke hardly ever talked about his personal life, he usually left that up to her. He smiled. "But let's save that for another time."

_Everybody hurts_

Danielle watched her feet as they walked on in silence, neither saying anything until sand began to appear underneath them instead of the forest floor.

"Look up," Locke said, out of nowhere.

Danielle did look up, puzzled. They were at a side of the beach she'd never been to. She didn't keep track of where they were going after they left camp, but Danielle knew they were a good distance away. No one came out here.

"I thought you might want a place to think."

Locke smiled at her.

She didn't know what to say. It wasn't much, but it had been a long time since someone did something for her.

"Thank you," she finally said.

"You're welcome," Locke replied, and looked back up to the ocean.

_Don't throw your hand_

After coming back to camp, Sawyer and Rebecca stayed there. He was beginning to think that the jungle had a grudge against him. They mostly talked, but both made an effort to ignore the words 'I love you', or the fact that they were brought up earlier. It worried him, that she didn't say it back, but he tried to forget that. He was just happy to be back.

_Everybody hurts _

He looked around for some water, and saw that his bottle was sitting near Rebecca. She spotted him looking at it, and picked it up, throwing at him. Some sand accidentally was slung with it. Sawyer cursed as it flew into his face, stinging his eyes, and reached down, throwing some back at her. Rebecca squealed as the sand flew into her hair, and for awhile, it was like they were kids in a cafeteria, putting on a food fight.

_If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone_

Sawyer finally gave him, letting her win. She laughed in defeat, but Sawyer had other plans. Grinning, he lunged forward, catching her in a kiss, covering her head before it hit the ground. She bit his lip in surprise, but he ignored it as she recovered, kissing him back.

(space)

Jack sighed in relief when he found Kate sitting in their caves. She still looked shook up, sitting on the side of a cot with her hands dug deep into the material.

"Hey," he greeted softly.

She didn't reply. Jack frowned, and set down next to her.

"Sawyer's okay," he assured her, studying her mournful expression.

"I know," Kate whispered.

Her eyes, like Alex's, were still swollen from tears, and her cheeks were streaked where they had dried, dripping into the deep wound that still remained from the kidnapping. He reached up carefully, placing his hand next to it. It still looked bad.

_If you're on your own in this life_

"Mind if I check this out?" He asked, already moving towards his medical supplies.

Kate shook her head, and was silent as he cleaned the cut.

"You're in luck," he said with a smile when he was done, "no stitches today."

_the days and nights are long_

"Is your wrist okay?" She asked him, finally breaking out of her daze.

Jack blinked in surprise. Kate reached for his hand, and turned it over to where some of the skin was a deep black and blue color. When did that happen?

"You hurt it last night," she reminded him, "the boar, remember?"

"Right," Jack said dully, realizing he never got to eat any of the boar they caught, and neither had Kate.

_When you think you've had too much of this life_

"I think there's still some left," she said, reading his mind.

"Actually," Jack said, remembering why he had originally come to find her, "I had other plans tonight."

_To hang on_

She looked up at him, hurt. Jack smiled.

"I was thinking we'd spend the night at your place," he said lightly, "I heard your parents were out of town for the weekend."

Kate smiled, and Jack grinned wider.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah," Jack said, "I mean, despite the crowded place, sleeping in sand, and the waves keeping us up all night, it might actually be okay."

Kate snorted.

"Baby," she teased.

"Hey," he said defensively, "I did offer."

Kate studied him, as if she were trying to decide if he were serious, and nodded.

"Okay," she agreed.

"Okay," Jack echoed back, and held his hand out.

She stared at it for a moment, and then placed hers in his, letting him help her up.

Later that night, Kate looked over to Jack. They were in her tent, and after much complaining and arguing, they had finally settled down. Now they were left with the hard question: what to talk about. A lot of questions and topics ran through Kate's mind, so she decided on the simple ones first.

"What colors would you choose for our wedding?" She asked.

He looked over at her, startled.

"I thought you liked to move slow," he said seriously.

Kate smiled, knowing the question scared him.

"Figuratively," she said, "just pick."

_And everybody hurts.. sometimes_

Jack looked up to the tarp above them thoughtfully.

"Green and Yellow," he finally decided.

Kate's mouth fell agape.

"Seriously?" She said in disbelief.

Jack shrugged.

"Sure."

"I don't think I can be with you anymore," Kate said, shaking her head in awe."

Jack looked over to her.

"Green and _yellow_?" Kate repeated in disgust.

"Sarah picked out the colors for our wedding," Jack said, shrugging again, "she said I had bad taste."

Kate rolled her eyes.

"I wonder why."

Jack chuckled, and reached over to his pack. Kate watched him as he brought out two bottles of what looked like alcohol.

"Where'd you get that?" Kate inquired, eyes wide.

"Stole them from Sawyer," Jack replied proudly.

_And everybody hurts.. _

"You're just full of yourself tonight, aren't you?" Kate said, impressed.

"I figured we deserved it," Jack said, popping open one of the bottles and handing it to Kate, saving himself the other, "cheers."

_Sometimes.._

Their glasses clung before Kate could protest, and even though she knew Jack getting drunk was probably a bad idea, she threw up her glass anyway, knowing she could use it.

**Author's Note:** Ha, how evil of me to leave it there? Okay, I know people will be coming after me, but honestly, I wasn't sure what else to write for those two. So I'll pick up the next chapter, which will be a 'morning after' chapter for..uh..everyone. And I know I said Rebecca had something on her mind, but I realized that I had already had the two discuss that. The letter will be haunting each of them for awhile, like their own little shared hallucination. I also know that chapter was incredibly cheesy. Forgive me, it had to be done:-p I'm sooo sorry for the wait. Honestly, I thought I updated last Monday, and I only found out last night that I didn't. Thanks for all the reviews! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

How will Rebecca and Sawyer react when they realized what happened(and yes, what you're thinking happened, happened. I just didn't write it directly)? And..uh..I'm not quite sure what else will be happening yet.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	23. Hangovers

In the End

Chapter Twenty-Three

**Reminder:** For those of you who don't remember(and I'm not offended if you don't), Boone crashed into that car with Locke's family in it and all when he was eighteen. Well, in my story he did, at least. Also, in my story, the sickness in my story can be detected by red dots on the skin, and the scene Jack's remembering is from "Request", back when Sawyer went all wack and..beat him up like that, to put it mildly.

**Disclaimer:** "Green Eyes" is a beautiful song that belongs to Coldplay.

**Chapter Twenty-Three:** Hangovers

The crashing waves sounded as though they were engulfing him, snapping at his ears and washing away ever so slowly, lingering on the shores until the last possible moment. But when Jack felt beside him, he realized that he was still on dry land, but not the smooth, cave floors that he was used to. He was laying in sand, and it took him a moment to remember why: the kidnapping the day before, Sawyer 'dying', spending the night at the beach, and drinking god knew how much alcohol he managed to steal from Sawyer that afternoon. Even through his closed eyes he knew it was morning; the sun's rays seemed unusally and painfully bright.

"Good morning," an amused voice greeeted.

His eyes refused to open when he tried, only opening the slightest after he closed them down tightly. Just as he thought, the sun was more radiate than usual, and he could barely make out the sillouhete of the person standing above him: Sayid. He was smiling, looking like he was holding back a laugh.

"Where's Kate?" Jack mumbled, assuming she wasn't there, since it was Sayid who woke him up.

The smell of liquor was heavy on his breath, and his voice was low and rasp. He tried to lift his head up, and fell back into the sand in defeat, moaning.

"In the jungle, pretending not to be sick," Sayid replied casually. He crossed his arms. "Exactly how much did you have to drink last night?"

Jack winced at the long response. He wasn't able to process it all, but he thought he heard something about how much and drinking.

"Two..three?" Jack said innocently.

Sayid laughed, and Jack glared at him. The world finally came into focused, though a tint darker. He quickly realized that he wasn't in Kate's tent, the last place he remembered being. Why hadn't he noticed this before?

"Where I'm I?" He asked groggily.

"Outside."

Looking to his left, Jack saw Kate's tent, now close, standing next to him. Around him people were starting their day, while he lay passed out in the sand. No shirt, he added to himself. What the hell happened last night? Part of him didn't want to know.

"What time is it?" Jack struggled to sit up as he talked.

"Late," was all Sayid said.

Sayid looked over Jack's head, and Jack decided it wouldn't be a good idea to try and see who was watching.

"Have a good day," Sayid said promtly, and walked away, still smiling.

Before Jack could have time to process what all he was just told, someone else greeted him.

"Good morning."

It was Kate, walking up from behind him. From the echoy sound her footsteps were making, she might as well of been the monster.

"Or good afternoon, I guess," she shrugged, "that's the good thing about being stranded on an island-" her face appeared in front of him, smiling just as bright as the sun was shinning, "no watches."

Jack let out a dry laugh, and she helped him sit up.

"Let's get you inside," Kate suggested, and pulled Jack into the tent before he could protest.

A ranchid smell welcomed him in, and Jack immediatly felt dizzy.

"What the hell is that?" He asked hoarsly.

Kate blushed.

"I got sick this morning," she said, embarrased.

"Is that why I was outside?" Jack asked hopefully.

He was hoping he didn't do something stupid, or even worse, that someone saw him do something stupid. From what he remembered, it was quite early when Jack presented Kate with his proposal: a night at the beach and some stolen drinks. Smart Jack, he thought bitterly.

"Just keep thinking that," Kate said, smiling sympathetically.

It was then he noticed Kate was holding a chipped mug in her hands.

"I couldn't find any coffee," she said jokingly, catching his eye, "but Sun made you some tea."

"She didn't have to do that," Jack said, though he gratefully took the cup from Kate.

With the first sip of the tea, a burning sensation stung at his throat. He flinched at the taste, but continued to drink more anyway.

"Oh," he said, suddenly remembering something he forgot to bring up last night, "I got you something."

"Actually," Kate said, blushing a little, "I got you something to..except I had to package it this morning, so god knows what it looks like."

Reaching behind him, Jack searched around his stuff(spit over the sand), until he found a box, which was really someone's jewlrey box.

"Here," he said, handing Kate the box.

He felt a little embarrased, like he was in some romance novel. Then again, had they been dating back home, Kate probably would've owned more diamonds and pearls than she could of dreamed of, bought simply out of nerves. Knowing his past experiences in dating, Jack probably would've bought out the store in fear of rejection from Kate. He didn't like to think of himself as that kind of guy, but it was true. Jack was jerked back to reality just in time to see Kate unlatch the box, and open it up. Inside was a blouse, simular to her orange one.

"I figured you wouldn't want to go around with a chip off your shoulder," Jack said lightly, "shoulder sleeve, anyway."

When David had ripped Kate's shirt back at the _Black Rock_, he felt guilty, and immediatly went to Shannon once they got back for fashion tips, mostly with sizing, which wasn't too difficult. She had been skinny enough when they crashed, but between being vegetarian and as athletic as she was, there wasn't many opertunities for her to gain weight.

"Thanks," Kate finally said, after gazing at the shirt for longer than she meant to, "oh, here."

She handed Jack a shoe box. He took it, puzzled as to what she could've gotten him. Curious, he opened it, and pushed aside some notebook paper that was stashed on top. It was a pair of shoes, good ones too, from what it looked like. Jack's lips widened into a smile.

"I had to go to Sayid," Kate confessed, "I know nothing about shoe sizes."

Jack laughed.

"I went to Shannon," he admited.

"Great minds think alike," Kate teased, "try them on."

He hadn't realized that he wasn't wearing shoes. His once white socks were now dyed a tan color, dotted with particles of sand. Untying the laces, Jack slipped on the shoes, and smiled.

"Perfect fit," he told Kate.

Kate looked pleased. Jack was glad, though he was slightly jealous, noticing that she showed no signs of being hungover. Then again, Kate was a really good actress.

"Got a present for me?"

Their heads jerked towards the opening to the tent, where Sawyer's head was peaking through, grinning with amusement. He entered the tent, despite it's cramped space.

"What the hell's that smell?" He inquired, turning his nose up at it.

Kate rolled her eyes.

"Glad to see you two are having a good time," Sawyer said with a sly grin, "I know you stole my booze-" Kate hid a smile with a hand, "but you see, the thing is, I've got the reliver-" Sawyer held up a bottle of Asprin, dangling it in front of them, like he was trying to use it as bait for a dog. "And if I remember correctly, the headace should be kicking in right..about..now."

As if Sawyer could read his mind, his head bursted with pain, so powerful that it felt like it was hurting on the outside.

"Sawyer-" Jack said through gritted teeth, trying to hide his frustration. How had he not seen this coming? "Give that back."

Jack made a desperate grab for the medicine, like a kid trying to get his lunch money back. He had been in this situation too many times for his liking.

"Ah, ah, ah," Sawyer said, pulling the bottle back, "you're about to learn a little lesson in the fine art of stealing- don't get caught."

Jack glared at him, and Sawyer grinned.

"Have a good day, Doc!"

Sawyer stepped back out of the tent, jerking away just as Kate made a grab for him. Immediatly Jack followed him out of the tent, but Sawyer got away before he could even yell after him. He could've sworn he heard Sawyer laughed before he reached Rebecca, who was waiting for him. Her arms were crossed and she looked furious. Sawyer's face immediatly fell. Kate appeared behind Jack, and the two watched as Sawyer and Rebecca acted out an exaggerate fight, complete with wild hand waving and foot stomping. It was like they were two again..

(space)

"Don't you dare try that on me!" Rebecca said warningly, jabbing a finger towards Sawyer. "You knew exactly what you were doing!"

"Well you weren't exactly trying to stop me!" Sawyer yelled defensivly.

Rebecca looked at him increduslously. When she woke up that morning, Sawyer hadn't been there. Their campsite was messier than she it had been earlier the night before, and she knew something was wrong when she found her shirt hidden underneath Saweyer's latest novel. Then she remembered, and she was a slight bit more upset than Sawyer seemed to be. Now she was shaking her head, not sure what to say to him.

"I swear to God Sawyer if you knocked me up-" her voice was uneven, almost shaking.

"Then I guess you should be happy you don't have to worry about courts giving me your kid!" Sawyer shot back, more forceful than he meant to.

Rebecca pulled a loose strand of hair away from her face, and crossed her arms. She didn't mean for it to come out that way, and she didn't really want to start a fight.

"Just..don't let it happen again," Rebecca said with a sigh, more calmly than before.

Sawyer looked at her in disbelief. Rebecca couldn't help but to smile.

"For now," she added, "after all, you really don't want to raise a kid with that thing running around, do you? Especially when you're afraid of the jungle."

Rebecca's eyes twinkled and Sawyer scowled.

"I ain't afraid of no jungle," Sawyer protested.

"That's not what you were saying in your sleep last night," Rebecca said with a mischevious grin.

"Yeah, well-" for once, Sawyer could think of nothing to say, "what were you doin' listening to me sleep anyway? What are ya, some kind of stalker?"

"Wouldn't you.."

Before Rebecca could finish her statement, a wave of pain shot through her chest, sending her falling to the ground. Sawyer caught her before she collapsed in the sand, holding her up with a grip she never would've guessed he had. He was stronger than she thought.

"What?" He asked her urgently.

All the amusment of the conversation was suddenly gone.

"Nothing," Rebecca lied, "I'm fine, I-"

She shut her eyes tightly, trying to block out the next wave of pain.

"What?" Sawyer asked again.

"Go get Jack," Rebecca said through gritted teeth, her hand gripping Sawyer's so tightly the skin was turning red.

Sawyer glanced back behind him to where Jack had followed him out of Kate's tent. Jack was no where in sight. More than likely, the two had already gone back to the caves, a trip he'd rather not take right now, not to mention he didn't want to leave her alone.

"No," Sawyer said quickly, lowering Rebecca carefully to the ground, "I've got ya."

He grabbed his bag from the ground, and browsed through it quickly, throwing idems about as he searched for a spare shirt.

"Here," he said, finally finding one. He placed it underneath Rebecca's head, and smiled, "see? You don't need Jack."

"Sawyer!" Rebecca exclaimed frantically. "I need Jack! He's a doctor, he'd know what's wrong with me! He has-"

"The medicine?" Sawyer finished for her, dangling the Asprin above her.

Rebecca's mouth fell open.

"Sawyer, where-?"

"Stole it from Jack," Sawyer said proudly, looking at the bottle of Asprin as if he had stolen the golden ticket.

"Sawyer!" Rebecca said in disaproval. "Give that back to him!"

He looked at her, incredulous.

"Just..go!" Rebecca exclaimed, gritting her teeth in pain.

She never felt pain like it. She didn't know what was happening to her, or why, and it scared her. Sawyer looked around to find someone to watch Rebecca, but the beach was unusally empty. The only person in sight was a scrawny looking man hanging clothes on a line a few yards away, with a woman- pressumingly his wife- laid in the sand.

"Hey, you!" Sawyer yelled over to him.

The man looked over. He wore glasses, and was dressed in kaki pants, and some kind of sweater-like shirt. He looked like the science fiction geeks portayed in movies and on TV, and Sawyer would bet good money that he owned at least one _Star Wars_ collectible.

"Yeah," the man said, jogging over.

"What's your name?" Sawyer asked him.

"Sebastian," he answered, shaking Sayid's hand.

"Sawyer," Sawyer offered hastily, "listen, she's sick. I need you to stay here and watch her while I go find Jack."

Sebastian's eyes widened behind his lenses.

"No!" He said, voice a little squeky, like a rat. "I..I can't. Isn't there someone else?"

"Do you see someone else?" Sawyer snapped.

Sebastian turned pale. Sawyer felt like he was trying to convince a teenager to go to a party instead of studying for a test.

"Fine," Sebastian sighed. He glanced back behind him towards his wife. "You'll be quick, right?"

"Like lightening," Sawyer assure. He turned back to Rebecca. "I'll be back soon."

He heard Rebecca mutter a weak 'Be careful' before running off. It didn't even occur to him until he was in the jungle that he should've sent someone else for Jack instead. Pushing those thoughts aside, Sawyer hurried into the caves, knocking over someone in the process. Sawyer muttered a quick apology, and scanned the caves for Jack. At last he spotted him with Kate by the waterfall. Jack was sitting on the ground, resting his head in his arms. Kate was laughing above him, trying to convince him to get up.

"Rise and shine, Doc," Sawyer said, aproaching them, "got a house call for ya. Rebecca's sick."

Jack looked up to Sawyer from where he was sitting.

"What's wrong with her?" He asked as Kate helped him stand up.

"I don't know.."

Jack grabbed his bag and followed Sawyer out as he told him what happened, Kate following close behind. Once they reached the beach, they found themselves running to Rebecca, who was laying on the beach alone.

"You left her alone?" Jack exclaimed, disgusted.

"No!" Sawyer yelled back harshly.

He looked around the beach, eyes flashing in anger, and his fist curled when he saw Sebastian sitting with his wife in the sand. Storming over, Sawyer pulled back a fist, but instead of using he, he kicked Sebastian in the shoulder, sending him rolling in the sand. His wife screamed as his head emerged, spitting out particles of sand while trying to catch his breath, recovering from shock. Sawyer dug his shoe into Sebastian's chest, ignoring the woman beside him wimpering, nearly in tears.

"Don't hurt him!" She pleaded. "_Please!_"

The woman's desperate pleads almost stopped him. He was surprised at how much she cared for the guy. He didn't know why, but part of him didn't suspect it. But then he thought of Rebecca laying there alone in the sun, sick, not knowing what was happening..

"Sawyer!"

Sawyer's fist stopped in mid air at the sound of Kate's voice. Turning, he freed Sebastian, who's wife immediatly scrambled to his side. Jack was beside Rebecca in the sand, his hand on her forehead. A slight twinge of jealousy arroused within him, but Sawyer let it go, reminding himself that Jack was trying to help her. He'd be with her again soon enough. Sawyer glanced back down to Sebastian on the ground, still furious with him for leaving Rebecca like that, and then glanced back to where Kate was watching him worriedly. Letting out a sigh of frustration, he ran back over to Jack and Kate, who both eyed him curiously.

"He was supposed to be watching her," Sawyer explained bitterly.

"Well," Jack said, placing his hands on his knees, "someone will have to. She's just having some chest pains-" both Sawyer and Kate's eyes narrowed at 'just', "but they can be serious, and out here, I can't know for sure if these are chest pains, or something more serious."

"Somethin' serious like what?" Sawyer inquired.

It was the first time either Kate or Jack had ever seen Sawyer worried- really worried. Scared. Jack let out a sigh before answering, knowing it wasn't anything Sawyer would want to hear.

"Like a heart-attack," Jack replied quietly.

For a moment no one spoke. Kate was glancing from Jack to Sawyer, not sure what to say or who to say it to. Sawyer stared at Jack for the longest time. He had dozens of insults ready, words of denial, anger, but he kept his mouth shut. Below them, Rebecca let out a sudden gasp of breath before returning to her previous slow intakes of breath.

"Great," Sawyer grumbled irritably, "the one good thing that happens to me and it dies."

"_She_ is not going to die," Jack said quickly, sternly, looking Sawyer in the eye.

The determination in his voice caught Kate off-guard, and Sawyer noticed it too. A moment of awkward tension passed by before Kate cleared her throat, breaking the silence.

"What do we need to do?" Kate asked, glancing towards Sawyer at 'we'.

Jack stared blankly at the ground for a moment, as if reviewing something in his head.

"How long was she in pain?" Jack asked Sawyer, looking up.

Sawyer blinked.

"What?"

"How long was her chest hurting?" Jack repeated, growing impacient.

"Uh.." Sawyer began, thinking quickly, "must've been a minute before I left..then..I don't know! Four eyes over there was supposed to be watching her!"

Jack sighed again, putting his hands on his hips as he looked back down to the ground.

"Is there anything else?" Jack asked him. "Anything at all you're not telling me? Something she might've said or mentioned to you? Anything unusal?"

Sawyer thought hard, trying to remember. He considered telling Jack about what happened the night before, but then decided against it. What could that possibly have to do with Rebecca's chest pains? And like it was any of Jack's buisness anyway.

"No," Sawyer insitesd. But Jack still stared at him. Somehow, Sawyer knew that Jack knew he was lying. His eyes possesed that fatherly way of being able to see through every disguse, every fib, and Sawyer loathed it. "Fine. She was worried about getting pregnant because..well..you know."

Kate blushed, and turned away, but Jack didn't seem as bothered.

"But you two haven't been together long enough," Jack pointed out.

Sawyer shrugged.

"Women."

The three of them looked down to Rebecca, who was out cold on the ground. Yet she still looked peaceful, somehow, as she slept.

"Hopefully the symptoms will die down while she's out," Jack said over the silence, "but the pain may return later. You have to be careful. Don't let her do anything too extreme. Try and keep her off her feet, if you can. Come to get me in an hour or two, but less if she doesn't wake up, or looks to be in pain- Sawyer!"

Sawyer snaped out of his gaze. Secretly, he was terrified. What if this really was his fault? What if she wasn't okay.

"Are you getting this?" Jack finished.

"Yeah," Sawyer lied.

He only heard half of what Jack was saying, but he figured it was along the lines of don't let her jump up and run marathons.

"I can stay here with her, if you want," Jack offered.

"Nah," said Sawyer, though he knew he'd eventually would probably need Jack's help, "I got it. Hope you ain't expectin' a referance though."

Jack chuckled.

"I'm guessing this is the part where you sneak out of the back without paying," he said.

"You bet," Sawyer said lightly, making an attempt to keep his spirits up.

They shook hands, and Jack and Kate parted, leaving Sawyer alone with Rebecca. He noticed Jack left a bottle of fresh, cold water on the ground next to Rebecca, and put it in his bag to keep cool. Suddenly he felt very alone. Letting out a sigh, Sawyer regretted telling Jack and Kate go. Even as he glanced around the beach, Sawyer couldn't even find anyone who could help him move Rebecca into the shade. Sabestian and his wife had fled. He let out another sigh, and looked back down to Rebecca. She was definetly his responsibility now.

(space)

The static never faded away. They tried to type a response, but the letters didn't even appear on the screen.

"You still remember the code?" Locke asked Boone.

Boone nodded, and began typing it in, but after reaching the fourth number, he froze.

"Except for the last two numbers," he confessed.

Locke looked down at him coldly.

"Just a minute ago you said you-"

"I know!" Boone exclaimed, and then looked back to the screen. "I forgot."

Sighing, Boone stretched his mind, trying to remember the numbers. Just a minute ago they were repeating in his head, over and over again, a voice that wouldn't go away. And then they just disapeared. His mind went blank.

"Sorry," he muttered, half hoping Locke didn't hear.

Locke didn't say anything. He just crossed his arms, and stared at the screen. But Callum had plenty to say.

"Well you better remember them, mate," Callum said, right behind Boone. It sounded like he was speaking directly into his ear. "I'm sure you remember the deaths. None of this will stop. It will never stop."

Boone slammed his palm down on the table, creating a loud echo throughout the room.

"I need some air," he annonuced, blurting out the first excuse to leave that he could think of.

"You have to fix this!" Locke called after him as he prepared to leave.

"Yeah, well if I start turning pale again, Shannon will start asking questions," Boone said truthfully. It would happen.

He hurried out of the hatch, ignoring Locke's shouting from behind him, and climbed over the wreckage that once helped control the island. The last few steps of the ladder were broken off, so it was harder than normal to climb them, and he was nearly out of breath by the time he reached the forest floor. Sighing in relief, Boone looked around the jungle, wondering where to go. He thought of Shannon at the beach, with Sayid. They could use Sayid's help, Boone realized. Sayid knew about computers, right? And he'd also get to see Shannon. He'd be killing two birds with one stone, as the saying went, so he headed off towards the beach.

In his mind Boone went through all of what Callum told him, everything about the hatch, the island, and the more he thought about it, the more angry he became. People knew they were here. They watched them, like they were little labrats. They watched as people died, as they suffered. They just sat back, and watched. It disgusted him. But the worse part was, Boone was turning into one of these people. In a crazy way, he felt like he was working for the island, like he was some kind of disciple for the hatch. He kew things others didn't, and instead of using what he knew to their advantage, he just went right along with it.

"Shannon's not at the beach."

Boone stopped, realizing he walked right passed Sayid on the path.

"Oh," he said, a little disapointed. Not only was she not there, but Sayid was here, which meant his time away from the hatch wouldn't last long. He was running out of excuses. "Actually, I was looking for you too."

Sayid's eyes narrowed in interest, but he didn't interrupt as he followed Boone to the hatch, listening to what Callum told him and Locke.

"That's impossible," Sayid finally said when the reached the hatch. He stopped before climbing down. "It's insane."

"I know," Boone said, "but it's happening, and we have to fix it."

""We'?" Sayid repeated.

"You're still in this, right?" Boone said, maybe too desperatly. Sayid would hopefully be the only person down there willing to stop Locke from killing him.

Sayid studied him, comtemplating what he was about to do.

"All right," Sayid agreed, "but there's one thing: Sawyer knows."

"I know that," Boone said blankly.

"No," Sayid said, "Sawyer knows the code."

"What?" Boone exclaimed. "That's great! Where is he?"

"He doesn't remember it," Sayid went on, ignoring Boone, "this man came up to him maybe a week ago, and gave it to him. But then he shot himself."

Boone couldn't believe it. This was just his luck.

"Now Sawyer doesn't remember where he put it," Sayid finished.

He almost sounded amused at Sawyer's mistake. Boone wasn't. Furious, he kicked at a patch of dirt, sending it falling into the hatch, and watched until he heard the last clump hit the ground.

"I'm sure will figure something out," Sayid said assuringly, and began to lower himself into the hatch.

Once they reached the bottom, Boone found himself wishing he hadn't brought Sayid along. Who knew how Locke would react, once the three of them were together. But before he knew it, they were in the main room of the hatch, and Locke and Callum were staring at them. Sayid nodded to Callum in recognition, but didn't say a word to Locke. Boone noticed right away that the computer screen was now black.

"What happened?" He asked, aproaching Locke.

"The screen just went blank," Locke explained, "we don't know."

Sayid followed closely behind Boone, and studied the computer for a good long time before disapearing underneath the desk. Locke, Boone, and Callum listened as Sayid moved some of the wires around, and then let out a dry laugh. He appeared out from under the table, holding a thick, black wire.

"The plug was pulled," Sayid said, tossing the cord onto the table, "common problem, actually."

"Looks like we don't need to hire a technician after all," Boone joked lightly.

Locke didn't find it amusing.

"So you'll be able to fix it?" He asked. It wasn't clear who he was addressing.

"Sure," Boone said, answering for Sayid, "God forbid you explain something to him."

"I know the story," Sayid said dryly, glancing towards Boone.

"Of course he does," Locke said to himself, turning back to the computer.

"What was that?" Boone said, rounding on Locke.

"Well God forbid you don't gossip everytime you figure something out," Locke said coldly.

"I wasn't _gossiping_," Boone said defensivly, "he deserved to know! I wasn't going to bring him down here and not tell him why! Unlike you, I think other people deserve to know what's going on."

"And what then?" Locke's voice was slowly getting louder, angrier. "We tell them that we've been down here since the beginning, watching them, reading their minds? Or maybe we'll tell them that others have be down here doing that since before we came here."

"Crashed here," Boone corrected, "we crashed here, John. We didn't come to be here. Someone didn't place us here. Our plane crashed here. I don't know about you, but when I was asked where do I find myself in ten years, I didn't say stranded on an island!"

"Probably because you were thinking of prison!" Locke shot back.

"If you two would rather argue," Sayid interrupted, "I could leave."

Callum, on the other hand, seemed interested in their argument, and neither agreed nor disagreed with Sayid.

"He's the one with the problem!" Boone exclaimed, waving a hand towards Locke. "He's the reason all of this happened in the first place. God he's like the disturber of the island's peace or something!"

"No one's blaming anyone," Sayid pointed out.

"Let me tell you something about Boone," Locke said harshly to Sayid, "he's lucky I even offered to forgive him. Trust is a fragile thing, and I'm not sure he understands that."

"Hate to break it to ya mates," Callum said, deciding it was time for him to cut in. "But I don't think either of the two of ya understand what's going on. That thing's still out there. What are you going to do about it?"

Locke and Boone glared at each other, but each heard what Callum said. Boone was still furious, he didn't think Locke understood anything at all, but he knew Callum was right. At last he took a step back, letting out a breath of air he hadn't realized he was holding.

"Good," Sayid said, "I'm not going to be your refere."

"You're not going to make us shake hands, are you?" Boone shot, but Sayid's glare silenced him.

"Someone's going to have to tell Shannon where we are," Sayid said after an uncomfortable silence passed.

"I'll go," Boone volunteered quickly.

Locke shook his head, and turned back to the computer, but didn't protest.

"All right," Sayid agreed, though Boone could tell he'd rather go.

Really, any of them would've taken any excuse available to leave. The hatch felt like the darkest place on the island, and not because it really was the dimmest. There was an eerie feeling about it, one that seemed to leave you whenever you reached the surface, and because of this, Boone was very grateful when he got back to the top.

(space)

"How's Rebecca?" Kate asked as she walked up behind Sawyer, who was sitting on the shore alone. A cigaret hung from his mouth, a lighter was on the ground beside him, and a new cigaret pack was hanging out of his back pocket.

"What do you think?" Sawyer muttered dully.

Kate smiled a little as she sat down beside him.

"What're you doin' here anyway?" He asked.

"You never came to get Jack," Kate explained, "you weren't there, so I came looking for you."

"Sun told me she'd take care of it," Sawyer said, though he didn't seem to pleased about it, "guess no one thinks I can do anything around here."

"That's not true," Kate protested, maybe a little too quickly.

"Yeah, well.." Sawyer trailed off, taking in a long drag out of the cigaret, "what did Jack say?"

"I don't know," Kate looked down, thinking that she should've found out, "he seemed pretty calm about it, though."

"Quite a catch you made there, Freckles," Sawyer commented lightly.

Kate smiled sadly at her old nickname.

"What?" Sawyer snorted. "You and Jacko don't have cute pet names yet? Kitten and Muffin?"

Kate let out a laugh.

"Those are girl nicknames," she pointed out.

Sawyer grinned.

"I know."

Shaking her head, Kate looked out to the sea, where Sawyer was staring. She wasn't used to finding him out here, then again, she was used to talking to him. In fact, in a strange way, Kate missed him.

"You doing okay, Sawyer?" She asked him, clearing her throat.

"Yeah," Sawyer said sarcastically, "ain't every day I get to kill the man that I saw kill himself in front of me."

Kate didn't respond right away. Sawyer hadn't said anything before about David being the one that gave them the code that night, or threw himself into the ocean before finally shooting himself. She had wondered if he even remembered.

"Yeah," Kate replied quietly, "no wonder he was so worried about being alive."

It didn't make sense, but what did anymore? She glanced over to him, and watched as he continued smoking the cigaret.

"Those'll kill you, you know," Kate said.

"Better watch out, Freckles," Sawyer said, his words slurred, "Jack's becoming a bad influence on you."

"Yeah, well you can't die yet," Kate said, "we haven't figured out what dance we're going to do at your funeral."

"Says the woman crying her eyes out yesterday," Sawyer shot back, glancing towards her. Kate looked down, and Sawyer immediatly felt bad about what he said. "You know you'll miss me."

"Yeah," Kate agreed playfully. She coughed when wind blew a puff of smoke towards them. "But I won't miss that smell. Seriously Sawyer, I thought you quit. Those things could really kill you."

"I know that."

This time, Sawyer wasn't fooling around. He didn't look at all regretful, in fact, he looked dead serious, like he understood exactly what he said.

"You're not really thinking about-"

"Hell Freckles, don't you think I would've done away with it all ages ago?" Sawyer cut in.

Kate let out a small sigh of relief.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about, anyway," Kate said truthfully, "you've had to many close calls. Nothing's going to happen to you."

"Glad you feel that way," Sawyer replied sarcastically, "'cause I've got some scars under my fingernails and a bullet hole that'll beg to differ."

Kate let out another dry laugh, and watched him smoke a little longer. Then she remembered the pack in his pockets.

"Can I have one?" She asked queitly.

Sawyer glanced at her in surprise.

"These things'll kill ya, you know," Sawyer echoed.

"I know," Kate replied, just as softly as he had before.

Sawyer hesitated, but pulled the pack out of his pockets anyway, and threw it at her.

"Knock yourself out," he said, offering her the lighter.

She let him light one up for her, and watched the flame as it slowly died out. Sawyer raised an eyebrow.

"You ever smoke before?" He inquired.

"Yeah," Kate said, and then stopped, "in college."

"Which means never, right?" Sawyer pointed out.

Kate blushed.

"One time I picked up the habit to impress this guy," Kate admited; the light was almost gone.

"Really?" Sawyer said, impressed. "Wouldn't of taken you as the type."

"Got five hundred bucks and a bus ticket to Paris from him too," Kate added, "back when I lived in Europe for awhile. She finally brought the cigaret to her mouth, and winced as she felt the heat from it.

"How long's a while?" Sawyer asked.

"'bout a year," Kate recalled.

She drew in a long drag from the cigaret, and coughed as soon as she felt the sensation from it take its toll. Sawyer chuckled.

"Doc know you smoke?" He asked.

Kate shook her head as she tried to catch her breath.

"So did you like Paris?" Sawyer actually sounded interested.

"Hated it," Kate replied.

"Always hated other countries myself," Sawyer agreed, "any place where you can't find a perfectly good cheeseburger sitting in a garbage can just isn't home for me."

Kate laughed at the joke, but she wondered if Sawyer realized what he said. Did he think of the island as 'home'. She did. It was the only place she could ever remember staying for more than a few months at a time that she liked, that she felt safe in, where she was loved. Truly loved. Since Tom died, she hadn't felt like this in forever. Just safe. Wanted- and in a good way. It was a feeling that she felt most people took advantage of.

"You afraid of dyin', Freckles?"

The question caught her off guard, breaking her from her thoughts. She looked at Sawyer, surprised.

"It's just that you've only taken one drag out of that cigaret," Sawyer went one, "and I've already had three today-" he shrugged, "just pointin' that out."

He winked at her.

"Well that's the difference between you and me," Kate said, meeting his eyes, "I haven't had many close calls."

Sawyer studied her for a moment before repeating his question.

"You afraid of dyin'?"

Kate looked back out to sea, thinking of the few times on the island she did almost die. After the raft, she remembered, when Jack had to save her. He tried to save her even after she left him, even when he didn't think he could. Then she remembered the times she felt like dying, like the first time she was kidnapped by Ethan, and then David. If Jack hadn't been there..

"I'm afraid of what I'll leave behind," Kate replied, realizing Sawyer was still watching her. He studied her for a moment longer before clearing his throat.

"I'm gonna go check on Rebecca," Sawyer said, putting out the cigaret in the sand.

Kate looked at the burnt stub, and wanted to say something about it not being good for the enviroment, but didn't. She knew Sawyer just wasn't that kind of guy. She could never change him, change anything about him. Rebecca brought a greater change in Sawyer than she ever did, and Kate felt slightly resentful for it.

"See ya around," Sawyer said, getting to his feet.

"You too," Kate said quietly to herself as he walked off, leaving her alone.

(space)

Later that day, Kate caught Jack in his caves, looking through his med cart.

"How's the hangover?" She asked, grinning as she leaned against the entrance.

He glanced behind him to her, and smiled.

"Well, it's living up to its name," Jack said, "some Asprin might help, but I'm not complaining.

"Sure," Kate laughed, walking up to him, "well here-"

She tilted his head slightly, and kissed his forehead. Kate smiled as she pulled back.

"Treatments don't have to be that complicated," Kate teased, and gave him a smile. Jack returned it, for a moment they just stood there, as if that were their one break in the day, and they were taking in every ounce of time. At last Jack took the first step back, clearing his throat.

"I was actually looking for something for Rebecca," he explained. Suddenly he stopped, and turned back to Kate, crinkling his nose. "Have you been smoking?"

Kate's smile weakened a little, and she looked down to the ground in shame.

"It was barely one," she admited, "honestly."

"I guess I don't need to give you the 'smoking is bad' lecture, huh?" Jack said sympathetically.

"That'd be nice," Kate said quetly.

Jack smiled at her.

"Don't worry," he said, "I'm not going to ground you or anything."

"Good," Kate said, pulling Jack towards her. She kissed him, and he winced at the smell. "Too bad we ran out of toothpaste, huh?"

"Yeah, well seriously, do something about that smell," Jack said.

"Don't worry," she promised, "it'll be gone."

Jack nodded in aproval.

"Where'd you get the smokes anyway?" He wanted to know.

"Sawyer," Kate replied honestly.

"I thought he quit," Jack pointed out, looking up at her.

Kate looked to the ground. There was something that Kate was wanting to ask Jack, something Sawyer asked her. So instead of replying, she said:

"Are you afraid of dying, Jack?"

Jack looked taken aback by the question, just as she had been earlier. He looked down to the ground, and she knew that he was honestly thinking about it. At last he looked up.

"I'm afraid of what I'll leave behind," Jack said, meeting Kate's eyes.

Kate couldn't help but to smile, and she looked down when she realized she was blushing again. She couldn't believe that she and Jack had the same answer. It was almost flattering.

"Something wrong?" Jack asked her after a moment of silence passed.

"No," Kate said quickly, shaking her head, "it's fine. Actually, I was wondering if I could turn in early."

"It's a little early," Jack laughed. He was right, the sun was still out and bright. It couldn't of been later than one.

"Well," Kate said, "when you spend the night drinking.."

Jack laughed again.

"Go ahead," he said, and waved towards the cot, usually reserved for patients, mostly because it was too small for both Jack and Kate, "use the bed."

"Aren't you going to bring Rebecca up here?" Kate asked.

"It might not be a good idea to risk carrying her the distance up here," Jack pointed out, "and she doesn't need to be walking."

Kate nodded.

"Right," she agreed, though she didn't exactly know what he was talking about.

"I guess I'll leave it to you then," Jack said, and kissed Kate again.

(space)

"Hey Doc, catch!"

Jack turned around just in time to catch the bottle of medicine Sawyer threw at him.

"Figured I put ya through enough torture," Sawyer said with a mischeivous grin.

"Thanks," Jack said, gratefully taking the medcine. He downed two Asprin dry, not even bothering to find water. "So you got Kate to smoke."

"Hey," Sawyer said, throwing his hands up, "she was the one who asked."

"Sure," Jack teased, and laughed it off, "how's Rebecca?"

"Good," Sawyer said, "she's asleep. Is that a good thing?"

"Yeah," Jack assured him. He knew Sawyer was skeptical about being able to take care of Rebecca. "She'll be fine."

"Yeah," Sawyer said, "but you have to say that, right?"

"No, seriously," Jack said, "she'll be okay. Just watch her."

Sawyer was quiet for a moment before he nodded.

"Thanks," he said, and shook Jack's hand.

Jack glanced down as he shook his hand, but he caught a glimpse of something about Sawyer that he never noticed before. Tiny, dafed, red circles dotted Sawyer's forearm, hardly noticeable unless you knew what you were looking at, and Jack did. They were the same dots Locke and Boone had when they were "sick", and the same ones Sayid said Kyle had on his leg. The mark of the sickness. Then he remembered.

It was the only clear memory Jack had of that night, aside from kissing Kate for the first time. He was tied up in the jungle, and someone was rambling on in front of him. At this point, Jack couldn't understand what was being said to him, but he knew it was Sawyer talking. At this point, he didn't even try to free himself His head pounded so hard it bobbing against his chest for support, and he could smell blood nearby. He tried to open his eyes, but something told him he didn't want to see whatever there was to see.

He didn't understand. Why the hell was Sawyer doing this? What was he thinkig? Once again he tried opening his eyes, just because it was too painful to leave them closed. They opened, but just enough so that he could see Sawyer's hand coming down towards him, and all he could do was sit there and prepare himself for the blow. But just before it hit him, Jack noticed something off: Sawyer's forearm was covered with dots, thick like the color of blood.

Jack's eyes widened. It took a moment to realize his hand was still oustretched. He dropped it, and looked up at Sawyer. It made so much sense now. Sawyer was the first one of them to ever fall "sick". That's why he accused Jack of crashing the plane, even when that was the most inconceivable thing. It wasn't Sawyer's fault at all. He had been under a spell, controlled by some force they still didn't know of.

"You okay?" He heard Sawyer asked.

Snapping out of it, he looked up at Sawyer.

"Yeah," he lied, "just be careful with Rebecca, okay?"

"Sure thing," Sawyer promised, and left.

Jack stared after him as he left, wondering how long Sawyer was 'sick'. He knew if probably wasn't longer than that very night, after all, Sawyer had been knocked unconsious just like Jack himself had been, but still part of him was trying to blame the sickness for some of Sawyer's other mistakes. Like the affair with Kate. Jack shok himself out of it. Don't make excuses for Sawyer, he told himself, he knew exactly what he was doing. None of that mattered now anyway. Sawyer clearly found someone, and Jack respected that. And now, now, Kate was his.

_Honey you are a rock _

Sebastian was on the beach, walking up to his wife, amiring her as she did. She was beautiful, no doubt about that. Standing slightly shorter than he, she had wavy sandy brown hair, and glistening dark brown eyes. At least, they used to glisten, and Sebastian missed that. He missed not being able to see her smile, hear her laugh.

"Michelle!" He greeted, smiling though he knew she wouldn't returned it.

_Upon which I stand _

Michelle simply lifted her head from where she lay resting in the sand. That was all she did now, sleep. But she didn't really sleep, of course. She hadn't really slept in five months. Peace would never come to her. She wouldn't let it.

"Did you talk to him?" Michelle asked. Her voice was low, almost rasp. It always was, as if she was terrified of being overheard. "Tell him why-"

_And I come here to talk _

"No," Sebastian said, shaking his head, "it's okay."

"He looked like he was ready to kill you!" Michelle cried.

Sebastian took her hands in his, lifing her off the ground. They met eyes for a moment, and Sebastian tried to apologize silently. It seemed to be easier that way.

_I hope you understand _

"Don't worry about it," Sebastian told her soothingly, rubbing his fingers against her hands. "Don't worry about anything." And then he told her the same thing he'd been telling her for months, the same thing she'd always need to hear. "Everything's okay. Nothing's going to happen. You're safe here."

And then, like always, he pulled her into a comforting embrace, holding onto her tightly. But he didn't mind taking care of her. She needed someone, especially now. She needed him. It was all his fault anyway.

_That green eyes _

Charlie and Claire sat on the beach. They were throwing out baby names for Claire's child, laughing at the ideas they were coming up with; 'Ringo' and 'Rumplestilskin'.

"Chandler," Charlie suggested.

_Yeah the spotlight_

"I hated _Friends_," Claire said, shaking her head.

"Then I guess Ross is out," Charlie teased. "How about Alex?"

"Do you want to answer 'why does a girl have my name'?" Claire said.

"Good point," Charlie muttered, "Bill?"

_Shines upon you_

Claire snorted.

"Iam _not_ naming my child Bill," she protested.

"Why not?" Charlie said. "Bill's a perfectly good name!"

"You go through eight hours of labor and see how you feel about 'Bill'," Claire said, disgusted at the suggestion.

_And how could_

She couldn't actually remember going through eight hours of labor, but she figured she had to of at some point.

"How about Aaron?" Claire said suddenly, turning to Charlie.

_Anybody_

Their eyes met, and she could sworn she saw sparks fly at the idea. Charlie's eyes lit up.

"Aaron," Charlie said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin, "you know, Aaron could work."

"Aaron Littleton," Claire said happily, "Aaron Michael Littleton."

"Michael?" Charlie repeated.

_Deny you_

"Michael was my father," Claire explained quietly. She stared out to the sand in front of her, suddenly distant in memory. "He would've loved him."

Charlie watched her for a moment, wondering if it was in his place to say something.

"I'm sure he would've been proud," Charlie offered sincerely.

Claire smiled sadly.

"Yeah."

Charlie tensed at the sudden awkward moment. He could only think of one way to diminish it. He kissed her. Claire was caught off guard by the sudden kiss, but accepted it none the less, not pulling back until a few moments later.

"Yeah," Charlie said once they broke apart, smiling, "Aaron's definetly good.

_I came here with a load _

_And it feels so much lighter _

_Now I met you_

Sayid and Boone agreed to try and not spend so much time at the hatch that day. The computer had been completly unplugged, and until the code came back to Boone, their efforts would be usless anyway. So they parted, and Sayid immediatly headed to the beach to see Shannon. He greeted her with a smile, and kissed her when she practically threw herself onto him.

Little did Sayid know Boone had actually followed him, and now was watching as the two kissed. Jealousy flashed in his eyes, jealousy he tried to ignore. But the fact was, he would always love Shannon, even if she didn't love him..in that way, of course. He didn't like that. In fact, he hated it. And he hated it that Sayid, of all people, would step up as her next 'special friend'. But he knew that in the real would, Sayid and his step sister would have nothing in common. Really, what could they possibly stay up talking about all the time?

_And honey you should know _

_That I could never go on without you _

_Green eyes _

But nevertheless they were chatting away now, both all smiles. Of course, he didn't really know that much about Sayid. Maybe he really did love Shannon. Their relationship just seemed to work, even though there didn't seem to be much behind it. Not like he and Shannon. But there was nothing he could do about it now. So he stood there and watched, wondering if Shannon ever thought about him, if she ever worried that she made a mistake. He could only hope.

_Honey you are the sea _

Danielle found Alex on the beach, practing Charlie's guitar. She didn't recognize the tune, but she liked it.

"It sounds good," she complimented, sitting down.

"Oh," Alex said, blushing as she put the guitar away, "it's nothing."

"I thought you were a recording artist," Danielle pointed out.

Alex smiled sadly.

_Upon which I float_

"I was," she admited, "I wrote songs."

"Do you still?" Danielle said curiously.

"Sometimes," Alex said.

"Can I read them?" Danielle asked.

Alex snorted.

"I never let anyone read my songs," she explained, "it took a lot of convincing just to let Adam long enough just to get me to show it to the producers."

"He sounds like a great guy," Danielle said.

Alex's face fell as she remembered Adam. It was still hard to believe he was gone. Two months had passed since he died, but she still remembered it like yesterday. Flashbacks still haunted her dreams, and spirits still haunted her. Alex shivered.

"He was," she said quietly.

_And I came here to talk_

Danielle let a much needed moment of silence pass before pulling something out of her pocket: a pack of cards. Alex stared down at them when Danielle threw them into the sand.

"Do you know how to play?" She asked her daughter. "I figured it'd give us something to do."

"I know blackjack," Alex admited, "believe or not Adam had his heart set on being a blackjack dealer for about two months-" she shook her head, "it was a long two months. And I won every game."

She smiled proudly.

"Didn't he teach you?" Danielle pointed out.

"Yeah," Alex nodded, "but I'm the psycic."

_I think that you should know_

Alex grinned mischeviously, and picked up the deck.

"So you still wanna play?"

_That green eyes_

_You're the one that I wanted to find_

Sun hand hesitated over Jin's zipped up backpack. She hadn't touched it since they found his body. She'd been afraid to. Sun hated things that reminded her that she was gone, but she knew eventually it had to be done. So she reached in, and grabbed for the first object she felt. She pulled it out, and her heart nearly stopped: it was a picture of her and Jin, smiling. Happy. Letting out a sob, Sun realized she was really laughing. She still had the good times.

_And anyone who_

_Tries to deny you_

_Must be out of their mind_

Jack tiptoed into their cave, careful not to wake Kate. He inched over towards where she was sleeping on the cot, and carefully sat down on an empty space beside her.

_Because I came here with a load_

He began playing with her hair, running his fingers through it. It needed brushing, but he wouldn't tell her that. Kate looked beautiful, anyway.

_And it feels so much lighter _

Kate stirred beneath him, despite his quiteness, and her eyes fluttered open. She stared up at him, confussed.

"What are you doing?" She inquired.

Jack's ears turned red, and he immediatly dropped his hand.

_Since I met you_

"Just.." Jack thought quickly, "there was a bug in you hair."

"Seriously?" Kate squeeled, shooting up, brushing her hands madly through her hair.

"Kate Austen, hard core criminal, afraid of bugs," Jack teased.

"Hey," Kate said defensivly, "those bugs could be poisonous."

"Well at least you have me to save you," Jack said.

Kate laughed, and they kissed.

"Move over," Jack said, breaking them apart just as her hands began to wrap around his waist.

_And honey you should know_

"What?" Kate said, quizical.

"I want to lay down," Jack pouted.

Kate rolled her eyes and scooted over. There was barely enough room for Jack to halfway lay on the cot. His right leg had to dangle off the side.

"How's the hangover?" Kate asked as Jack rested his hands behind his head.

"Okay," Jack said, "Sawyer gave back the medicine."

"Aw," Kate said in a baby voice, "that's so cute."

"Shut up," Jack said, and shoved against Kate. He stared at the ceiling, and it wasn't long before his leg began to fall asleep. "This isn't working."

"No," Kate agreed next to him.

_That I could never go on without you_

"One of us has to move," Jack said.

Kate snorted in disbelief.

"One of us?" She repeated. "I was here first. In fact, you offered me this spot. You move."

"Or.."

Jack shoved hard against Kate, sending her falling to the ground. Kate let out a cry as she hit the ground with a thud and Jack laughed, lowering himself down next to her. He had to roll over her in order to lay down next to her, and by the time the process was complete, they were both roaring with laughter. Jack turned over as Kate kept laughing, just to watch her for a moment. She looked so happpy, despite everything that had happened the previous day, and it seemed so surreal that all this bad stuff could be happening while she was this happy. If only he could be assured that she would always be this way.

_Green eyes.._

Sawyer was back at his camp now. Secretly, he was grateful for the excuses to leave and offers of help. It was just too much, sitting here and waiting. Suddenly, as if she read his mind, Rebecca's eyes finally fluttered open, lids lifting up slowly.

"What happened?" She asked wearily.

"You passed out," Sawyer told her, looking down at her apologetically. He didn't want to tell her what he had to. "Jack thinks you had a heart attack."

"What?" Rebecca exclaimed hoarsley with a cough. "But..no! It didn't feel like a heart attack."

Sawyer raised an eyebrow.

"Do you know what a heart attack feels like?" He asked her.

She gazed up to the sky above them, folding her arms across her chest.

"You cold?" He asked her.

Rebecca nodded. To him, the beach was warmer than usual. Even so, he reached over, and laid a coat that was on the ground over Rebecca. She looked over at him, watching as his hands let go of the coat.

"Am I going to be okay?" She asked quietly.

She looked so afraid, it nearly killed him. Sawyer swallowed hard, and remembered what Jack said earlier. Now he understood why everyone listened to Jack, and why he was so depended upon. After all, he was the only one there who really knew what was going on.

"Yeah," Sawyer told her, putting his hand on her shoulder, "you'll be fine."

Rebecca turned away from him then, curling up slightly in the blanket. Somehow he knew she wasn't really turning away, that it was just from the cold. But it was cold. She'll be okay, he told himself, she'll be fine. He would just keep having to remember that.

**Author's Note:** Woah, long chapter. Thirty-one pages. Yeah, uh..didn't mean for that to be that long. Oh well. I actually really enjoyed writing this chapter. Sorry if the spacing with the song verses seemed weird, I had to make it last throughout the ending. You'll find out more about Sebastian and Michelle later, and I'm contemplating a huge twist with Rebecca. And I totally forgot to mention last chapter until I already updated(and it was too long for me to edit on the site), and thanks sooo much for putting me over 100 reviews! You guys rock, seriously! Cyber chocolate and candy for everyone!(hugs) You have no idea how relieving it is to know that other people like this series, and I'm not just going crazy. Thanks sooo much..as said and always, you guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the end":**

So just what did Jack do while he and Kate were way over their should-be drinking limit? What comes out of Alex and Danielle's card games? And what's Charlie's request of Alex? Another lighter chapter on the way, probably.

Thanks again!

Until Next time..

October Sky


	24. Swan Song

In the End

Chapter Twenty-Four

**Disclaimer:** "The Yankee Doodle Boy" was written and composed by George M. Cohan. Why would I need to use these lyrics? Be afraid:-p

**Chapter Twenty-Four: **Swan Song

"Rise and sine, dudes!"

It was the second time that Jack had been unwilling awakened. With a groan he forced his eyes open to find Hurley smiling at him and Kate, who was still asleep beside him. He noticed that his arm was wrapped around her, and Kate's hair had engulfed her face, draping over Jack's arm. Carefully he pulled his arm away, and brushed the hair away from Kate's face. He let his muscles tense for a moment, and then relaxed them, a trick he learned from many years of insomnia.

"Go away," Jack muttered to Hurley, closing his eyes again.

Hurley laughed.

"Dude, you gotta eat sometime," he said, "you two haven't eaten in two days and trust me, I checked."

"As flattered as I am," Jack said with a chuckle, "I can take care of myself."

"Sure thing," Hurley said with a grin. Apparently he thought Jack would reconsider. When he didn't, Hurley let out an exasperated sigh. "Come on, dude, don't make me do that 'look me in the eye and tell me you're not lying' thing, I suck at that." Jack laughed. "Don't tell me you're not worried about Kate."

The mention of Kate's name made him stop, and turned on his side to watch her sleep. Hurley was right, he couldn't even remember what the last thing he had to eat was, and he was beginning to worry about Kate as well.

"All right," Jack finally agreed, "give me a minute."

When Hurley finally left, Jack let out a sigh of relief. Yes, he was starving, but getting up didn't seem to be in his mind's vocabulary at the moment.

"Who was that?" Kate mumbled from beside him.

Normally when she woke up Kate would breathe in deeply, gladly welcoming a new day, unlike most, who cringed at the thought of another day in the island. Now, however, Kate awoke with a groan, just like Jack, and hid her face into her arms, trying to block out the light.

"Hurley," Jack replied, stroking her hair, "he wants us to come eat."

"Tell him to stuff it," Kate muttered bitterly into her arm, "and stop doing that."

Jack dropped his hand, smiling a little. He'd never seen Kate grumpy before. It was a little like seeing Locke in shorts: you just couldn't picture it.

"We should eat," Jack said wisely, "we need to build up our strength for our next kidnapping."

"I guess that should be in about twenty-four hours, right?" Kate joked lightly.

Jack chuckled.

"Come on," he said, giving Kate a little shove, "let's go."

"You go," Kate mumbled, "I'll sleep."

"Yeah," Jack said thoughtfully, "but you see, around these guys, we're kind of like a two-for-one deal."

"And it sucks," Kate said tiredly.

"Just when you think she loves you.."

"Fine!" Kate grumbled, rolling over. "You better enjoy your damn food."

"That I will," Jack replied happily.

With a smile Jack lifted his head, only to immediately fall back. He groaned, and brought a hand to his face. Slowly he began messaging the sides of his head, closing his eyes to block out the little cave light that now seemed suddenly so much brighter.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked him with a yawn, placing a hand on his arm.

"I can't lift my head," Jack muttered, wincing in pain as he tried to sit up a second time.

Kate's eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked, unsure to think that he was just playing around or serious.

"I mean I can't sit up," Jack said, annoyed, "my head..it's heavy or something."

Kate laughed.

"It's called a hangover, Jack," Kate said, slapping his shoulder, "when was the last time you were drunk, anyway?"

"The day of the crash," Jack admitted. Kate raised an eyebrow, almost hurt, and Jack knew why. That was the day they met. "That was only a few hours after I found out about my father. And I..didn't handle it very well." He gave Kate a weak smile. "At least, not for someone like me anyway."

Kate smiled sadly, and looked down, and realized for the first time that her hand was resting on Jack's knee. She quickly moved away, but blushed when she caught Jack looking at where it had once been.

"So," Jack said, staring up at the ceiling, "how do I do this?"

"Oh," Kate said with a snort, "is that how you see me then? Shouldn't you be asking Sawyer about hangovers?"

"Hey, I was just asking-"

"Forget it," Kate said, rolling her eyes, "if you could save a life this morning you can get up now. Come on."

She held a hand out, and Jack reluctantly took it. He let her help him sit up, groaning as he did.

"See?" She said with a smile when he was fully-upright, rubbing his head in pain. He glared at her, but Kate's look, bright with her smile, softened him. She put her hands gently on either side of his head, and tilted it forward slightly, giving him a small kiss on the forehead. Kate paused there for a second, and said quietly: "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Yeah?" Jack said, not quite ready to admit defeat. "Well, it's your fault anyway."

"My fault?" Kate snorted in disbelief. "You're the one who was all 'let's get drunk in this tent that we can barely fit in'."

"We wouldn't have even been in that tent if you would just move into the caves," Jack pointed out defensively.

"I was _fine_ at the caves!" Kate exclaimed with a laugh. She knew Jack was just playing around with her. "You're the one who made the date, so therefore, it's your fault. Case closed."

Jack chuckled, but didn't argue.

"So what did I do anyway?" Jack asked her, putting on his shoes. They were the ones Kate gave him, and fairly new; he still had to loosen the strings to get them to fit right. "You know, I've been getting these weird looks from everyone all day."

Kate laughed a little bit too loudly at that, and quickly put a hand over her mouth to silence it.

"What?" Jack demanded, suddenly feeling nervous. "What did I do?"

"Stripped off your shirt and ran around in your underwear singing "Yankee Doodle"," Kate replied in one breath, and immediately looked down to the ground as she started to laugh again.

Jack looked horrified.

"No, seriously," he said. His voice was shaking slightly. In college he heard tales of stupid things people did when they were drunk, but he never believed them.

"Sorry Jack," but Kate didn't sound sorry at all, "I tried to stop you, but.."

"You decided it'd just be better to laugh at my misery?" Jack shot.

"It was funny," Kate said, giggling, "you seemed to enjoy it."

"I was drunk!" Jack cried out, only making Kate laugh even more.

"Okay, okay," she said, trying to calm herself down, "it wasn't _that_ bad, and no one saw you anyway." Kate paused, thinking. "Well, maybe Charlie."

"Oh, that's just perfect!" Jack said. "He and Hurley are like soul brothers or something, and we both know Hurley can't keep a secret."

"Aw, that's mean," Kate said. She finally stopped laughing.

"You're the one to talk about being mean," Jack mumbled miserably.

"Aw, don't worry," Kate said with a smile. She gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Look at the brightside, at least you don't have to embarrassed yourself on tv. You already know you can't sing."

Jack glared at Kate, whose eyes were now twinkly.

"Cute," he snapped sarcastically. He glanced towards the entrance to the main caves; Jack could've sworn he heard laughter coming from outside. "I'm not going out there."

"Is poor Jack embarrassed?" Kate teased in a mocking tone.

"So what did you do, anyway?" Jack inquired, ignoring her comment. Kate stopped smiling, which caused Jack to grin. "Come on, fess up."

"I think I'll just go get us some food," Kate said quickly, slowly getting to her feet, "we can just stay and here and eat."

"Ah," Jack said, "the truth comes out."

Kate's cheeks flushed a bright pink, and she looked to the ground, hiding her embarrassed expression, sulking.

"Don't worry," Jack said in mock reassurance, "whatever it was, remember, only Charlie saw it."

He gave Kate a wink, and Kate launched a dirty sock towards him. It bounced off Jack's head, and he grabbed it in pain. Kate grinned.

"You still hungry?" She asked him.

"Yeah," Jack admitted. He glanced again towards the exit. "You think it's safe?"

"Since Hurley's the one who told us to come eat," Kate said thoughtfully, "probably not."

She and Jack exchanged sympathetic smiles before finally getting up. Kate grabbed a light jacket on the way out, and wrapped it around her, feeling cool. Right away, they were greeted by Sayid, who was hurrying out of the caves.

"'Morning," he offered swiftly, moving out of their way with a smirk.

Kate glanced towards Jack, raising an eyebrow.

"He woke me up earlier," Jack explained.

He knew she was wonder how Sayid would know, he was around less and less, just like Boone and Locke. Before Jack and Kate had a chance to escape from the caves, a shadow appeared behind them, and a voice began singing softly in Jack's ear..

"I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy, a Yankee Doodle do or die.."

Jack swirled around, shoving Charlie away.

"Knock it off," Kate said to Charlie, crossing her arms.

"Yeah," Jack spoke up, "that's not even the right song."

"Really?" Charlie said, sounding surprised. "That's what I heard."

Jack glared at Kate, who quickly looked away innocently.

"Dude," Hurley said from beside Charlie, laughing, "you need voice lessons."

Jack was growing angry, but he managed to hold it in, and just let them insult him. They were only joking, anyway.

"You know," Charlie said mischievously, "we should've gave him another tattoo. You know, like those that have Cupid with the arrow?"

"Dude, that would've been awesome!" Hurley exclaimed.

"Or we could've just drawn a pony," Charlie joked. He gave Jack a slap on the shoulder, grinning. "Don't worry mate, you know we love you."

"Sure," Jack grunted bitterly.

By now other residence of the caves were walking by, all snorting under their breath. Jack watched them coldly as they passed.

"Leave them alone," someone scolded behind Jack and Kate said.

They turned to find Claire, bouncing Aaron in her arms, glaring at Charlie..

"Aw, come on, Love," Charlie said innocently, cooly sliding towards Claire, "we were only joking, Jack knows that."

He kissed Claire on the cheek, still grinning.

"Let's go," Jack said, still sounding miserable, "I'm starving."

"Hold on," Kate said, pulling back when Jack took her hand, "I forgot to get something."

Jack raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. He gave her a quick kiss goodbye.

"You're on my list," he said, pointing to Charlie.

"Ohhh," Charlie teased, waving his hands in the air like he was impersonating a ghost, "I'm scared now."

Claire slapped him on the shoulder, and both Jack and Kate snorted.

"Dude, I feel left out," Hurley said sulkingly, eyeing both couples.

"Aw, come here," Charlie said, with a grin so wide it could've fallen off his face. He grabbed Hurley's arm, playfully pulling him towards him.

"Dude, get away!" Hurley exclaimed in horror, jerking away from Charlie and literally scampering away.

The four of the burst out laughing, and Jack decided that he didn't feel bad about being picked on anymore. All it was was a horrible flashback from school, that was it.

"I'll meet you at the beach?" He heard Kate asked.

Jack pulled himself away from his thoughts.

"What?" He said, trying to process what she was asking. Jack blinked. "Yeah, sure." Glancing around the caves, he noticed the running waterfall, vacant of visitors. "Actually, I'll wait up for you, I should probably get some water for the people at the beach. Rebecca'll need some."

Kate smiled, looking uncertain.

"Sure," she nodded, and disappeared into the caves.

Jack watched until he couldn't see her anymore, and only turned away when he realized time was getting away. He bent down next to the water, and grabbed some empty bottles that were sitting next to the small pond.

The water below him sparkled in the light dancing out of the cracks in the cave walls, and Jack stopped when he spotted his reflecting between the tiny ripples. His expression was, to say the least, depressing. Wrinkles were beginning to form across his foreheads, and bags continued to developed under his tired eyes. He was exhausted. No matter how much sleep he got, Jack always seemed to maintain a stable sense of weariness. It was what his father called the weakest link of personality. It would only stand out only if you messed up, otherwise it could be packaged away. Only with Jack, it was always there.

"Ready to go?" Kate asked happily from behind her.

Jack stood, turning, surprised at Kate's sudden change in personality. She was still smiling, as she was when she left her, but now it seemed more forced. Even in her eyes, Jack could tell that Kate was hiding something.

"Sure," he said, taking the few bottles he just realized he filled and placing them in his back, "let's go."

(space)

"You can't do that," Alex declared sharply, staring down at Danielle's pile of cards.

Danielle looked at them quizzically.

"Why not?" She asked.

"Because," Alex said, as if it should be the most obvious thing in the world, "it doesn't add up."

Danielle looked as if though she didn't have a clue as to what she was talking about, and Alex sighed.

"Look, if you use your three of diamonds-"

"Looks like you've got a good game going," Charlie complimented, approaching them.

He was holding Aaron in his arms and grinning.

"I'm winning by fifty bucks," Alex boasted proudly.

"Fifty?" Charlie said with a simper. "That's nothing."

"That's what I told her," Hurley said from the ground next to the two.

"Yeah, well a fifty's a lot for someone who makes money playing songs on the streets," Alex said, smiling sadly as she recalled her old life. She missed it, even though it was a horrible way to make a living financially. Without a high school diploma she knew her chances of getting a good job were slim, so Alex decided that music was the only thing she had going. Not that she didn't love music, it was really the only thing that ever kept her going. It set her apart from the world. She could write things and no one but herself could ever really know what it meant.

"She's got a point there," Charlie said, carefully sitting down with Aaron. Aaron squirmed in his sleep, but remained silent. Charlie sighed in relief. "But try living in England with the biggest rockers in the world. Honestly, who are people going to pick, Driveshaft, or the Stones?"

"True," Alex agreed, "but try living in New York with you eighteen year old boyfriend as a college dropout."

"Impressive," Charlie said, nodding in approval.

"Anyone want to hear my story?" Danielle spoke up quietly.

Alex and Charlie looked up from the game in surprise. Danielle usually wasn't the one to speak out from the group.

"Sure," both said in unison.

"When I was twenty I went out on my own," Danielle began, "I didn't want to go to school, so I looked more practical lines of work-" she threw down a card more forcefully than she had been before, "I ended up joining a science team with fifteen drunken men."

"Were they French?" Charlie asked, interested.

Danielle looked up at him.

"Yes," she replied, sounding almost irritated, another quality that wasn't like the normal-Danielle.

"Sounds awesome," Charlie said.

"Not when you're pregnant," Danielle disagreed.

"You were pregnant at twenty?" Alex said in disbelief.

"I was pregnant at twenty-five," Danielle corrected. She stared down at her card, watching it as she placed it on top of the one already on the sand, glaring at it as though all the pain that had been inflicted upon her was its fault. "You two were lucky, you had easy work."

Both Charlie and Alex had fair arguments, but neither brought them up. They had a feeling that Danielle's statement went deeper than the differences between calculating measurements and playing a chord. Alex realized that she was still holding a card in her hand, and put it down: a four of diamonds.

"My brother was a drug addict," Charlie chimed in over the silence. The three of him turned to him, surprised by the sudden comment. "I mean, that's what got me on drugs..was on drugs, I'm not any more. I'm clean, I swear!" Alex raised an eyebrow. "But I mean, that has to be hard, right?"

Alex shrugged. Beside her, Hurley looked like he just realized something.

"I won the lottery," he said suddenly.

The attention was immediately turned to him.

"Seriously!" He exclaimed. "And the money was like, cursed or something."

"Sure," Charlie said, smirking, "so when we finally get off this rock, you can buy it and dedicate some memorial to us, right?"

Hurley shrugged.

"If you want."

At that moment the skies opened up, casting down hard,slick drops of rain, one after another, chasing each other until they hit the ground in echoing splatters. Cards were grabbed and soon the space were cleared, and the four of them ran for cover underneath a tarp. Once under the shelter, Alex bent over, resting her hands under her knees to catch her breath, in shock of the sudden rainstorm. It was funny how weather worked on the island, it was uncontrollable. Or maybe it was controlled. No one could really knew.

"It's really coming down!" Charlie yelled over the rain. His hand was over the baby's head.

(space)

Jack and Kate looked up in disbelief at the rain.

"Great," Jack said, throwing his hands up.

A few yards away, Rebecca fluttered awake to find something blue flapping above her. The material slipped, falling down to her, covering her legs like a blanket.

"What the hell are you trying to do?" Rebecca muttered wearily. "Bury me?"

"You better be grateful for this, Sweetcheeks," Sawyer said. He was struggling to tie a tarp to a pole. "You're just lucky I didn't want the rain to ruin that pretty little head of hair of yours."

Rebecca managed a weak smile, but Sawyer was grinning widely above her.

"How long have I been asleep?" She noticed Sawyer finally got the tent fixed. He stepped down from the suitcase he had a foot propped up on.

"Couple of hours," Sawyer told her, "wish I could sleep like that."

He dropped down to the ground beside her, letting his arms rest over his knees.

"You feel okay?" He asked her, looking down at her in concern.

Rebecca looked up to him, meeting his eyes. She held his gaze for a moment before shifting weight, turning to her side, wincing in pain.

"A little better," she said.

Sawyer looked up, scanning the beach, and noticed Jack and Kate standing in the middle of the rain, talking.

"Hey!" Sawyer called over to them, fighting the pattering of the rainstorm.

Jack and Kate turned at once. They actually looked annoyed at being interrupted.

"Get the hell outta the rain!" He yelled to them.

The two ran over, and Jack put a hand on Kate's back to help her find her way around the clutter that was Sawyer's camp.

"Thanks," Kate said gratefully. She glared at Jack. "He didn't want to walk back in the rain."

"You're the one that was saying 'Just wait it out'," Jack shot back.

"Yeah, well.." Kate trailed off, looking around the beach desperately for an excuse.

Jack chuckled in triumph, and looked around the tent. His eyes fell on Rebecca, who was still laying down, only half-awake.

"How do you feel?" He asked her sympathetically.

"Ain't you lucky?" Sawyer said to Jack with a grin. "Like killin' two birds with one stone."

"Don't mind him," Rebecca said to Jack. She was surprised to find that it was now easier to talk than before. "I'm okay, I guess." Her eyes met Jack's, and a familiar moment passed in between them. That moment between doctor in patient, where the patient knew this was it. "Did I have a heart attack?"

Jack's eyes softened sympathetically.

"Yeah," he told her quietly, "I think you did."

There was a long pause, where the only thing that could be heard was the rain, which continued to fall heavily against the tarp, whirling around them in a violent wind.

"But I'm only twenty-eight," Rebecca said. She was confused. Heart attacks didn't run in her family. She didn't smoke, or even drink. She had always been pretty risk-free, even as a teenager. "Why.."

"I don't know," Jack confused. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Just hang in there, okay? I have a feeling you'll be fine."

Jack smiled, and Rebecca half-heartily returned it. Suddenly the beach was quiet again, and the group looked out of the tarp. People were starting to emerge from shelters, looking around as though they were in a daze.

"We better go," Jack said, turning to Kate.

Kate snapped out of a reverie she was in, and nodded.

"Sure," she said quietly, and followed Jack out.

(space)

Alex looked up to the sky as the rain slowed to a stop, letting sprinkles drop on her face. She blinked, and studied the sky. Gray shadows were painted over the horizon, highlighted by thick black lines of dust. It looked like dust, anyway. The sky made the entire atmosphere seemed sad, yet familiar, somehow. She gaze up to the clouds, trying to think of what it reminded her of. And then she remembered: death. That's what it looked like. Curiously, she glanced to the others under the tarp that was over them, and wondered if they saw it too.

"Hey," Charlie's voice broke her away from her thoughts, "want to go for a walk?"

It took Alex a moment to fully understand what Charlie was asking. Aaron was still bouncing in his arms, and amazingly, still sleeping soundly.

"Sure," Alex replied, though she couldn't see why Charlie, of all people, would want to pull her aside. Maybe it was about music.

She followed Charlie down the beach, keeping her eyes on the baby, carefully watching it.

"So.." she said, sticking her hands in her pockets. She realized quickly that she was wearing a skirt, not jeans, and dropped her hands. Wearing dead people clothes didn't exactly make her comfortable, so she took as less as possible. "What'd you want?"

"You're psychic, right?" Charlie asked her, though she knew he already knew the answer.

"Yeah," Alex eyed him.

He stopped walking, and turned around. Charlie was, for once, no longer smiling, but looked serious.

"Claire's worried, you know, about the baby," Charlie hesitated before going on, "and it's future."

Suddenly Alex understood what this was about. Charlie was wanting some kind of reading for the baby. He wanted her to tell him that Aaron would be fine, and grow up healthily, off the island. He wanted to hear that Aaron would live a normal life, go to a normal school, and would have great friends that would help get him through life. Then he'd get older, graduate college, go to school, and get married. He wanted to hear that Aaron would have a normal life, and Alex didn't know that she could tell him that.

Charlie noticed the skepticism on her face, and shook his head.

"Sorry," he said quickly, "I shouldn't have. I'll just-"

"No," Alex said, cutting him off, "it's..it's fine." She caught a strand of hair before it could wrap around her face, and pulled it back, placing it behind her ear. "I understand."

Charlie nodded, but neither made another move. At last Alex stuck out her hands.

"I guess..give him here.

She swallowed her nerves as she felt Charlie carefully lower Aaron into her arms, and she looked down at the life in her hands. He was beautiful. Definitely possessing Claire's eyes and hair, Claire had a feeling that he'd be a momma's boy. Maybe. Alex studied the boy, placing a hand on its head.

"What's that for, better reception?" Charlie asked jokingly.

He sounded nervous, so Alex gave him a reassuring smile.

"He's beautiful," Alex complimented, and looked up at Charlie, "he'll be fine."

Charlie grinned. He couldn't of looked happier.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

She handed Aaron back to Charlie, who smiled down at him.

"Did you hear that?" He asked the baby. "You'll be okay."

Alex couldn't help but to smile. Charlie thanked her again, and then made some excuse to head back to camp. She had a feeling that Claire put him up to this.

"Cute kid," someone behind her complimented.

She turned, and saw Sawyer bent down in the low tide.

"Weren't you just with Rebecca?" She asked, confused.

"What can I say," Sawyer said, flashing a smile, "I'm a man of mystery."

Alex rolled her eyes, and crossed her arms.

"So you doin' palm readings now?" Sawyer asked her, drying his hands on his jeans. "Mind if you do mine? I'd love to see what kind of coconut I'll be eatin' this afternoon."

Alex snorted, and let her mind trail elsewhere. She gazed around, her eyes diverting to the peak of the island, standing high above the trees and jungle.

"Somethin' on your mind?" Sawyer asked.

He was approaching her now, but when he reached her, he just plopped down into the sand. Alex looked down at him, and for a moment was confused. She was feeling something for Sawyer, and it took her a moment to recognize it as sympathy. But why would she feel sympathy towards him?

"Had an interesting conversation with the Doc and his kidnapper the other day," Sawyer announced out of nowhere, "he mentioned you."

"Jack?" Alex asked, inviting herself to sit down next to him.

"Nah," Sawyer shook his head, "the other guy."

Sawyer pulled out a cigaret and lit it. She couldn't help but to notice that over the past few days, Sawyer had been smoking more than usual.

"Talked about you like he knew ya," Sawyer went on, "kept apologizing'."

Alex's eyes narrowed.

"For what?" She asked quietly, her voice shaking so hard she was sure her voice box would crack.

Sawyer shrugged.

"Hell if I know," he turned to her, with that mischievous smirk of his, "but I've got a feeling you do."

Alex stared at him for the longest moment, frightened of him for the first time. He was actually trying to force something out of her. Why had she even stopped to talk to him? She swallowed hard, because she knew what he wanted to talk about: Kyle. For one, no one ever knew why he just suddenly disappeared. Rumors started that he was eaten by the monster, so Alex, Jack, Sayid, and Danielle went along with it.

"I..I don't know what you're talking about," she lied. It was a horrible, obvious lie.

"You sure about that?" An ash dropped from the cigaret into the sand. "I've been wonderin' myself where that guy you were with ran off to. What was his name..Kyle?"

From the way Sawyer said it, she knew he knew exactly what he was talking about. He was torturing her on purpose.

"You heard," Alex said quietly, "he was eaten."

"Sure," Sawyer said with a simple shrug, "but take it from someone who knows, lyin' ain't recuperation'."

She met is eyes, her entire body shaking. His eyes were dark, haunted, and she knew that unfortuently he wasn't lying. As she stared at him, Alex contemplated their friendship, wondering if she could trust him. He wasn't there that night, but then again, she didn't exactly go to him. Sayid was only there by coincidence, a lucky coincidence. She remembered what all Jack taught her about traumatic experiences and getting over them. Part if it was accepting what happened, just like death.

"I.." Alex hesitated, reluctant to go on. She didn't want like being forced to remember it, or anything that had happened on the island, for that matter. "He..he just wasn't a good guy, okay?"

Sawyer seemed to get the picture pretty quickly. She was thankful for that, but still looked down to the ground in embarrassment. His eyes darkened, and she began thinking that maybe telling him wasn't the best thing to do. She looked at Sawyer as someone who would be big on revenge.

"He's dead," Alex said quietly, after a long pause, "just..leave it at that-" she looked up at him, meeting his eyes again, "please."

Sawyer swallowed; that obviously wasn't his plan.

"Fine," Sawyer agreed, "but if anyone so much as lays a hand on you-"

"I know, I know," Alex said with a chuckle, "I'll let you chase them around the beach with a stick or something. I got the same thing from Jack."

"Yeah," Sawyer said, "well, good for him."

Alex shook her head, and rolled her eyes, looking out to sea. The sky was still a dark gray, and she could've sworn she saw eyes peering through the clouds, staring at her. She shivered.

"Can I ask you something?" She said.

"Shoot."

She looked down, trying to figure out how to word her question; she didn't want to scare him.

"If it was your last day to live, what would you do?"

Sawyer was startled by the question, and it took him a moment to work up a reply.

"Hell," he said, "here? Run around in my underwear singin' war songs."

Alex winced.

"You heard that too?" She said.

"Jacko's got one helluva voice," Sawyer said, "and that ain't necessarily a good thing."

"Happens to the best of us," Alex said with a sad smile. Adam always teased her for being so musically talented, but she still couldn't sing a note.

Something told her to turn around, and she was only slightly surprised to see Jack and Kate in the distance, chatting as they ate some fruit. Kate stood, and said something to Jack before leaving him alone. He waited until Kate was a safe distance away, and sighed. Alex knew he didn't like being alone.

"See you around," she said, getting to her feet.

Muttering a quick goodbye, Alex hurried towards Jack.

"Hey," he greeted when he saw her walking towards him.

"Hey," she echoed, "you want some company?"

"Actually," Jack said, "I was going to meet Kate at the caves-" he noticed how Alex's face fell, "you want to come?"

"Sure," Alex said, shrugging.

A breeze brushed across the jungle, sending shivers up Alex's spine. She wrapped her arms around her, regretting not wearing a jacket.

"You cold?" Jack asked her.

"I'm fine," Alex lied. She didn't want him worrying about her. "I told Sawyer about what happened, with Kyle."

She hadn't planned on telling Jack about that, it just came out. He looked at her in surprise.

"That's not a bad thing," Jack said assuringly, "you can trust Sawyer."

Alex snorted.

"I can't believe you're saying that."

And after everything Sawyer did to him, she really couldn't. After that, they were quiet, the mood dampened. Her mind wondered back to her walk with Charlie, and his favor.

"Something wrong?" Jack asked on cue.

He always seemed to be able to do that, know when to ask questions, offer help.

"Charlie asked me to do a psychic reading for Aaron," Alex told him. Jack raised an eyebrow, and Alex stopped writing. "I told him that he'd be okay." Jack somehow seemed to know not to believe this. "I lied-" she met Jack's eyes, hers apologetic, "I can't see any good in the future, for any of us."

Jack didn't respond right away. She was afraid that she was mad. It was something she didn't like, not being able to see what she wanted to, to tell people what they wanted to hear. But she had to.

"It's not your fault," Jack said finally.

Alex almost sighed in relief. She wasn't sure if Jack believed what he was saying, but he sounded sincere. A grateful smile crept on her lips, and Alex looked down.

"We should start heading to the caves," Jack said after a short moment of silence.

"Yeah," Alex agreed quietly, and followed him back to the caves, the rest of their trip spent in silence.

**Author's Note:** That was a very crapy way to end the chapter, I know, but I have MAJOR writer's block with this story. I'm doubting plots I once loved, and I've really just gotten myself in over my head with what I've planned. So I'm going to take some time to think through the series' future, and hopefully I'll be able to update soon. If not, I apologize ahead of time. You guys have been really great, and I don't want to disappoint you, yet at the same time I know what needs to happen needs to happen. Either way, tomorrow's my Sweet 16(cheer!), so hopefully I'll be in a good mood, and will be able to start a new chapter. I'm sorry this one was short and rather uneventful, but I really need some time to think through the story. Thanks so much for the reviews! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

If I stick with my original plot, the next chapter's rated 'R' for scary/disturbing images, and character death. If you're not good with either, you don't have to read it, and I understand completely. Who's going to be the one to bite the dust(literally)? I'll tell you this: there were maybe three clues in this chapter. Did you catch them?

Thanks again!

Until next time:

October Sky


	25. Dust To Dust

In the End

Chapter Twenty-Five

**Author's Note:** A **WARNING** once again of **major** character deaths from this point on! This chapter is rated a **potential R** for **scary/disturbing** images. Be aware!

**Disclaimer:** "You Don't Mess Around With Jim" was written by Jim Croce. If you guys don't remember, that was the song that Boone said his dad always used to sing before he died. "Yellow" is by Coldplay. By the way, I'm a Coldplay fan and have nothing against _Rent_.

**Chapter Twenty-Five:** Dust to Dust

"That was the last wire," Sayid announced, entering the main room from the hatch from the adjacent room, the one with the larger computer.

"You fixed it?" Boone said with the awe of a child. "Does it work?"

"The man said he fixed it," Locke answered for Sayid with a half-smile.

They all had a reason to be happy. All their work had finally paid off, and after days of being buried under keys and wires, they were certain that whatever was wrong with the computer now, wasn't wrong now. Shortly after the message and following static popped up, the screen smashed to black, and nothing they tried changed it.

"Let's do this then," Boone said. Behind him, Callum nodded in agreement.

One final plug in sent the computer screen into a soft blue glow, and tiny dots began forming into a picture, and Boone could feel the anxiety sweeping through him. Colors began developing into lines, and Boone was sure that these lines would soon turn into lakes or trees. He was wrong.

The lines faded into a bright red color, chased around the screen by a bold white, identical line. A red and white maze formed on the screen, with a small black dot that floated in between the spaces. The four of them watched, too shocked to be angry. Sayid's jaw was set firm, and Boone had a feeling that he knew what was going on. Suddenly the picture changed, and a snake flew up at the screen, with a tounge that was stuck out at them, as if teasing them. Sayid immediately unplugged the computer, furious. For a moment, they just stood in silence.

"What the hell was that?" Boone finally said, jabbing a finger towards the screen.

"A virus," Sayid replied coldly, "a computer virus."

"Doesn't someone have to download those?" Locke asked, puzzled.

"Yes."

"Then that means.." Boone began.

"Someone on this island knows computers," Sayid finished for him, and began pacing they floor, "and they know them well. And someone has one."

"On the island?" Locke asked, sounding totally consumed by this information.

"I would assume so," Sayid added, and then side, bringing a hand to his head, "then again, we may never know, it's just a screen."

Silence followed Sayid's comment, because they all knew this was true. If possible, it made the situation worse, and made Boone feel slightly jealous. This could just be some kid playing a trick. A cruel trick.

"Can you fix it?" Locke asked. He sounded nervous, which made Boone feel even worse. Locke never got nervous, he always knew exactly what was happening.

"Maybe," Sayid said.

He stopped pacing to study the computer intently, as if he could fix it with his stare.

"Then I'll be back soon," Locke announced, throwing his bag over his shoulder.

Boone, Sayid, and Callum(who had been quiet throughout the whole situation) turned to him in surprise.

"People need to eat," Locke explained, "and the boar won't hunt itself."

"You'll be back though, right?" Boone called after him as Locke headed for the exit.

Locke smiled, partially amused at how worried Boone sounded.

"Soon enough," Locke replied, and disappeared into the dark shadows of the adjacent room.

Once Locke was gone, Boone turned to Locke. He suddenly was realizing that he hadn't eaten since yesterday.

"I think I'm going to go with him," Boone decided, staring after where Locke had disappeared, "will you be okay here?"

"I'll be fine," Sayid said confidently.

Boone nodded, and picked his bag off the ground. He almost forgot it was there. Moving in what felt like slow motion, Boone exited the hatch and stepped onto the jungle floor. A wave of dizziness came over him as the sun shown directly on his face, and he caught himself before falling backwards into the hole.

Taking in a deep breath, Boone looked around. Everything's fine, he told him. He let the breath out, and stared down an unfamiliar path. Locke would be fine by himself, and he'd be able to find fruit. Right now, Boone realized that he really just wanted to be by himself. Making up his mind Boone got himself together, and took off down the path that would take him north of the hatch.

The path seemed oddly nicer than the others, perfectly lined with trees that swayed with a soothing breeze. Sun peeked through forest-green leaves that stuck out of branches, leading the way down the path. A soft whispering began, swifting from tree to tree, moving along with the breeze. Boone stopped, listening closely. The whispering soon became recognizable, but instead of a familiar quote or conversation, the whispering was a tune of a son.

Taking off running, Boone followed the whispers closely as he could, cutting paths and corners, not taking note of the direction he was going in. A clearing was coming to view, and of anything, Boone was sure that the whisperers would stop there. They wouldn't be in the open. He slowed his run as he neared the clearing, and the whisperers only got louder. Soon his eyes adjusted to the open land, and it took Boone a moment to realize what he was seeing.

In the clearing was a girl, wearing a long dress. She was very pale, but it was still obvious her hair was beautiful, waving into curls below her shoulders and down to her back. He couldn't tell from the paleness of her skin, which blended in with the color of her clothes, but Boone thought that her hair was blonde. The little girl, no older than eight, was walking around the outskirts of the clearing, taking each step slowly as she laid flowers carefully onto the ground. As she watched the flowers fall, she continued to whistle, and in his mind, Boone could hear the lyrics playing along:

_Uptown got its hustlers_

_The bowery got its bums_

_Forty Second Street got Big Jim Walker_

_He a pool shootin' son of a gun_

The catchy tune sounded so foreign as it was whistled slowly, as if the little girl wasn't sure of how the tune went and didn't want to mess it up. It was then that Boone realized the girl was planning this whole scene very carefully, as if it was really supposed to mean something important. Swallowing hard, Boone prepared himself for the worst as he forced himself to look down to where she was laying the flowers, but even if his mind, the worst wasn't anywhere near as bad as what was there.

Bodies were everywhere. Boone was surprised he hadn't noticed the smell before. Decaying, caked in dried blood, the bodies lay baking in the sunlight, piled one on top of the other, stacked in almost column like structures, as if they had been placed there. Some were only skeletons, while some didn't look more than a day dead. But they all had similar looks. All were torn, from clothes to skin, bloody and sickly looking. Boone felt like he was going to throw up. He looked back up to the girl, breathing hard to make certain that he didn't stop breathing. The girl just kept whistling, not even awknoledging that someone else is there.

"Who are you?" Boone called to her.

She looked up at the command, and Boone almost fell backwards. How had he not recognized her? It was her, his ghost. The ghost of Locke's little girl that he murdered in the car crash. The ghost he hadn't seen in weeks. She stared at him for a long moment, and a shiver escaped down Boone's spine. It felt like she was apart of him now, and he could've sworn he was hearing her talk through him through the song. Yelling at him, insulting him, doing everything but forgive him. You'd think she would by now. After nearly eight years of haunting him, Boone thought that they could've at least have some term of agreement, like no haunting after nightfall. Or during school hours. Or at work.

The ghost finally looked back down, and continued with this song, humming it this time in a happy tone, very childlike. Of course, she was still a child. She would always be. Boone took one last look at the bodies, already trying to make himself forget the scene. He turned then, tearing down the path back to the hatch. He never even bothered to look back to see if the girl was still there.

(space)

"Hey, what time is it?" Rebecca asked Sawyer, looking up at him.

She looked and talked as if though she were drugged, and the thought of drugging her had definitely crossed Sawyer's mind more than once. Once Rebecca had awoken, she had decided that she didn't want to sleep anymore, and that if she had to remain laying on the ground, Sawyer should at least be required to talk to her.

"I don't know," Sawyer replied for the dozenth time that day, speaking through gritted teeth to keep himself from lashing out at her.

Rebecca's head rolled to the side so that she was watching some of the other beach residence head towards the ocean, not to go in it, but just to sit and stare at the shore. No one ever went in it. It was ironic, really. Most of these people had been dreaming all of their lives of living at the beach, and now that they could, no one was taking advantage of it. They were afraid.

"You hungry?" Sawyer asked her.

"No," Rebecca replied quietly, snapping out of her daze and turning back to Sawyer.

Thinking of their situation only made Rebecca feel more depressed. As she watched Sawyer struggle to clip one of her tops onto the line, Rebecca smiled sadly, thinking of how grateful she was to have him. For the greater period of time on the island, Rebecca had been alone, with no one to talk to, no one to confined in. But now, now she had found someone just as alone as herself, with a story just as sad as hers- maybe even sadder- and with an attention span of a politician. Sawyer would sit there and listen to her babble on for hours, and even though she knew he was probably off in his own world, he was still there.

"You going to the caves today?" Rebecca asked him, half-hoping he'd say no.

"Already did," Sawyer replied, "they send their love."

Rebecca smiled at that. She knew he was probably being sarcastic, but it was a nice thought. Growing up, she never really had anyone there to care about her.

"Finally," Sawyer said, stepping back to examine his work after successfully hanging the clothes on the lines, "I know you want to look nice but did you have to shop in the damn _lingerie_ department? Those things are as slick as silk!"

"I figured you'd like it that way," Rebecca said playfully, a mischievous smile prying at her lips.

Sawyer grinned, reading her mind.

Both of their smiles eventually fading, and Sawyer settled into the sand next to her, and picked up a magazine.

"Well," Sawyer said, opening it, "let's see what's going on with Brad today." He flipped open to a page with Brad Pitt on the front, kneeling down shirtless in the sand with sunglasses sitting on his head, wearing a wide smile. She personally had never been a big finally.

Rebecca rolled her eyes, and turned back to where she had been staring before, letting Sawyer's voice reading the article stay close in her mind as she carefully drifted away. Her eyes threatened to close, and not wanting to fall asleep on him, Rebecca fought to keep them open. Sawyer wasn't the only reason she didn't want to fall asleep, though. Even though he had been telling her over and over again that she'd be okay, Rebecca feared that if she fell asleep, she'd never wake up again. She couldn't do that to herself, or Sawyer. For the first time on the island, she wanted to be guaranteed another day.

To keep herself preoccupied, Rebecca tried to classify one of the flowers she could see clearly from their camp. It was red, with tiny dots on its petals. The image of the flower flickered a few times as her eyes tried to force themselves shut. She gave in for a moment, snapping them down tightly, and reopened them slowly. This time, the image was different. This time, something sat in the sand in front of her, and it took Rebecca a moment to accept it for what it was, because that would be impossible. In the sand before her was Sawyer's letter, then one he threw out days ago. But there it sat, wrinkled free, waiting to be picked up. So Rebecca reached out for it. Grabbing at it with a hand, Rebecca was surprised to bring back nothing but air.

"You okay?" Sawyer asked, sounding like he was further away than he really was.

Rebecca stared at the ground beside her, now bare. The letter was gone.

"Yeah," Rebecca forced herself to reply. She shivered, feeling a cold chill rush through her like blood to a head.

As Sawyer continued to read, she kept her eyes glued to the spot where the letter had been sitting just moments before, trying to convince herself it wasn't crazy. Maybe was just pushed down the beach. It was a windy day, it could happen. She was just turning to look when footsteps sounded on the ground, rushing to their tent.

"What?" She heard Sawyer asked briskly.

"Shannon's missing!" Sun said, her voice in a panic.

"Is Sayid around?" Sawyer asked urgently, glancing around the beach in hopes of seeing him.

"No!" Sun said, the word escaping her with a gasp as she tried to catch her breath. "Boone isn't either!"

"Slow down," Sawyer instructed, placing a calming hand on Sun's shoulder. Sun flinched slightly at the touch that seemed so foreign to her now, but quickly shook the feeling away. "What happened?"

Rebecca struggled to listen as Sun hurried through her story, and before she knew it, others were approaching their tent, standing tall in shadows around her. She felt crowded but didn't complain as Sawyer called for Jack, who was at the beach in seconds.

"She wasn't at the caves," Kate was saying, "I didn't see her in the jungle."

"She wouldn't of gone far," Jack added in for support, standing next to Kate as if the two were master and commander, "I'll go look for her. Anyone who's available needs to try and find Sayid and Boone, but be careful."

"I'll go with you," Kate offered before Jack could turn away.

"No," Jack protested, "she couldn't of gone far."

"If something happens to you-" Kate interjected with worry.

"I'll be fine," Jack said, looking at Kate with full confidence, but with concern for her worry, "I won't be going far."

Kate shook her head.

"I'm coming with you," Kate said in a finalizing way.

Jack sighed, knowing he had no choice.

"Okay," he agreed, and turned back to the group.

"What about me?" Alex's voice spoke up out of the crowd.

Her hands were on her hips, and she already looked frustrated, as if she knew Jack would protest her coming along.

"You're fine," Jack told her calmly, "stay here."

"I want to help," Alex said, "I can help more than any of you."

Jack took a step towards her. He regretted not wanting her to go, because Jack knew she was right, but he didn't want her to get hurt.

"Stay here," Jack repeated. The two of them met eyes. "If you knew anything, you would've said something by now."

Alex swallowed, and looked down. Jack studied her for a moment, and began thinking that maybe she did know something, but she wasn't going to come out and say it in front of everyone.

"Okay," Jack sighed, "tell your mom."

"I can't find her," Alex said.

Jack looked around, wondering what he should do.

"Then come on," Jack said. He turned to Sawyer. "If Danielle shows up-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Sawyer said bitterly.

The group headed out immediately, not planning to go as far as they would end up searching.

(space)

"What are you doing out here?"

Danielle turned swiftly, her rifle slapping hard against her back.

"Thinking," Danielle replied harshly.

Locke studied her for a moment.

"With a gun?" He inquired.

Danielle stared into his eyes, possessing not a trace of nerves. It was one of her finer traits.

"I like the jungle," Danielle confessed.

Locke smiled. Amazing how similar they were.

"So do I," he said. He looked around, noting the clouds that were seeping through the sun. For a few moments it had been sunny, erasing the dry, errie morning sky from earlier. But now the day was dreary again, and rain was threatening to pour. "I was just starting a hunt. Care to join me?"

Danielle glanced back towards the beach end of the island, where she knew Alex would probably be waiting for her. After all, she did owe her well over a hundred dollars. Then again, it would be raining soon, so playing cards probably wouldn't be in the agenda.

"Sure," Danielle agreed, turning back to Locke.

Locke's smile widened, almost eerily, and waved towards the jungle, letting Danielle follow him out.

(space)

"Not that far out, huh?" Kate said to Jack in a teasing way.

She smiled, because she knew it was a good thing that she was with him. It was always a good thing when she was with him.

"Do you feel that?" Jack asked, ignoring her gloating.

Kate eyed him.

"What?" She said, looking at him partially in confusion, partially in concern.

"I don't know," Jack said, throwing his hands up and turning around once while still walking. "Just something." He glanced back towards Alex, who had been unusually quiet throughout the search.

She was walking with her head hung low, staring at her feet as she went on. Alex looked sick, like she wanted to be anywhere but where she was. It was a reassuring feeling on the island, but at the moment, it just seemed so much slower.

Above them, the sky began growing darker, and Jack glanced up in worry. The clouds look furious, swirling around in lines of cotton. A breeze blew the trees slowly to the left, then gradually to the right, leaving behind a low whistling.

"Kind of errie weather, huh?" Jack complimented. "Looks like death."

Alex stopped suddenly behind them, and seriously looked like she was about to be sick. Jack didn't notice until she had run off that something was wrong, and could only watch as Alex fled back towards camp, running as if the devil were chasing her.

"Was it something I said?" Jack wondered outloud, puzzled.

Kate rolled her eyes, and brought a hand to her face to hide a fighting smile. Jack turned back towards her, and she knew what he wanted to do.

"Go ahead," Kate said with a smile.

Taking off into the jungle, Jack tried to ignored the thunderclouds that crackled above him, and pushing aside worries of leaving Kate behind. He was reaching closer and closer to the beach, and Jack was beginning to wonder if he had imagined Alex even coming with them.

"Alex?" He called into the jungle. "Alex?"

Silence seemed to lead him down a solitary path, taking him to a suddenly much greener area of jungle.

"Alex?" Jack called again, more worried now.

And then he found her. She was standing in the middle of the path, looking lost in thought, too deep for Jack to understand.

"Alex," Jack said with a sigh of relief, walking to her cautiously.

Alex didn't reply, not even a 'go away'. She looked completely sucked into her own world, and somehow, Jack knew there was no bringing her out. How had he not seen that something was wrong?

"Alex," Jack said tentivly, "you need to come back with me and Kate."

She remained silent, staring at the ground as if she were trying to absorb it all in. Absorb everything in. A low rumble sounded from nearby, but not from the roaring clouds above. Jack looked around, worried, hoping to find that Kate had followed him into the jungle.

"Go," Alex whispered, her voice shaking and hoarse.

"What?" Jack said, shaking his head. "No, Alex, come back with me."

"I can't," Alex's voice was a barely a whisper now.

Alex smartly kept her stare to the ground hard to prevent tears from falling, but Jack knew they were threatening to come. Another rumble sent shivers down Jack's spine, and he knew they had to leave.

"Let's go!" Jack said in a voice more rougher than any tone he had ever used with Alex before.

"Go back!" Alex shouted over a crackle of thunder.

A third rumble came from the jungle, and dust began flying around them as the wind picked up speed. Kate was still out there, he thought, out there alone.

"Alex, I swear to God-"

The rumble turned into a roar, supported by a thunder clap. Jack fought the wind to rush towards Alex, grabbing onto her shoulders when he reached her. He was furious, and he didn't quite know why. He realized he was shaking her now, his fingernails digging into her bare shoulders beside the spagettistring straps of her tank top.

"Why didn't you see this coming!" Jack shouted over the wind.

He was angry. Truthfully angry. Kate was out there, he was here, the monster was here, and it felt like the world was coming to an end. It felt like death.

Suddenly they were ripped apart as the ground between them tore in two, and Jack felt himself fly backwards into a cloud of dust. He sat up coughing, rubbing the back of his head in pain, only seconds after the fall. He felt fine.

"Alex?" He asked to himself. Jack looked around. The jungle was quiet now, eerily quiet. To go with the atmosphere, deathly quiet. He was alone. There was no one there to tell him everything was okay. It was as if the world stopped. "Alex?"

Getting to his feet, Jack squinted to see through the dust that was slowly drifting from the scene.

"Alex?" Jack called again. He could feel his throat closing in, foreshadowing the evil that was to come. "Alex!"

"Jack!"

His heart began to race against his chest. The call came from somewhere distant, a hollow sounding cry for help. Nevertheless, Jack hurried towards it. Only a few feet away Jack fell to the ground at a hole engraved into the ground. The earth below it was black, and it smelled foul. It smelled like blood.

"Alex!" He called down into the hole desperately.

A hand appeared on the surface, and Jack let out a laugh of relief. He took it with a strong grip, and tried to pull Alex up. Muffled cries of pain followed, and sobs soon replaced it. Alex didn't budge.

"Hold on Alex," Jack yelled to her, "I'm going to get you out of there. I'm going to save you."

Alex's hand twisted in pain, her hand threatening to wrench out of his. He held on tighter with both hands, the skin on them turning a deep red. Tugging hardly, Jack let out a curse as pain flew up his back at the strain. Something was holding her down, something strong. Once again, the jungle rumbled. Alex's sobs grew louder.

"You're okay," Jack said to her in the calmest voice he could muster. He planted his feet into the ground, and gritted his teeth as he prepared to try and pull her up again. "What can you see?"

"Um.." inside the ground, Alex looked around, biting her tongue to try and hold back the pain. Everything was dark. She could hardly see the world that was above her, and had to strain to hear Jack's voice. Below her chains churned, and an agonizing pain shot up her leg, numbing it unwilling. "Blood. It looks like there's blood on the side. Like..like..Orc blood."

"What?" Jack said back in the jungle, face contorted in confusion and pain. His hands felt ready to fall off, but still he forced himself to give Alex one final tug upwards, and the ground immediately rumbled in protest.

"Jack!" Alex screamed in fear.

"Alex..hold on-"

But it was too late. The ground shook madly, ripping the two apart once more, and screams of help were the only thing left as the attack came to a final end. The monster had won.

Jack stared hopelessly at the hole, ignoring the smell that came from it, or the dust flying up in his face. The ashes. Clinging to the ground, Jack tried to keep himself from falling forward, yet at the same time he wanted to launch himself into the shadow of death. And not because he still wondered if there was really a light.

He realized too late that he had grown attached to something that wasn't his. Alex was a daughter. She had a mother and family who loved her, and it wasn't in his position to step in as guardian. Alex had suffered through more pain and trauma than anyone ever should, and he had never really heard her complain. She was strong, brave, so different from most young patients he had before. Patient. Such a careless word. It was hard to believe that's how Alex had started out, as a mere patient, who needed attention, help, someone to worry about them, someone to tell them it was okay. Then again, to Kate, Jack was just a patient.

And that's when he began yelling. Screaming. Calling Alex's name over and over again in denial and fury. Digging his fist hard in the ground to keep them from flying, tearing what good earth was left with his knuckles. Her name began to echo through the woods, bouncing off trees and life, life that would always be there. Unlike Alex. And still, he felt mad at her. How had she not seen this coming? Or had she?

"Jack?"

He heard his name being called softly, just as a whisper, in worry, concern. But he ignored it. Hot tears streamed down his face, staining the scars carved into his already wrinkled skin. He was growing older faster. Over the hill and yet he still felt like he should be on the slope. With every ounce of trouble came a new chance, but also another day, another week, another year. Alex would never experience that. She grew old young, living life in long days of anguish.

Behind him Kate was approach Jack carefully. She stumbled with every few steps, and rubbing her wrist in pain. It was an exact replica of their first meeting, only then, Jack had kept the pain in. Now he was practically thrashing, and Kate knew she had to put aside her experience for him, and grabbed at his arm. Jack jerked away the first few attempts, screaming Alex's name into either a whole lot of nothing, or a whole lot of something. Literally.

At last she grabbed a hold of his wrist, which was caked in dirt and tinted a brick red. She jerked him around, pulling Jack onto his feet, and into a hug. And she held him. Jack was sobbing, harder than she had ever seen him sob before. He was finally letting go, losing himself to pain, loss, and failure.

"It's okay," she whispered to him, even though she knew it wasn't.

She realized then that she was crying as well, and Kate muttered the words over and over again into Jack's shoulder, holding him tightly in fear of losing him completely. Tears leaked from Jack's eyes onto Kate's shoulder, but she ignored the sudden shivers from an unknown sensation. Suddenly she had to break away. It was as if she knew someone was watching, someone who shouldn't be. Jack sniffled, trying to cease his tears, and wiped at his face with a hand.

"We should probably head back," Jack said quietly, his voice hoarse. He let out a cough, and Kate grabbed his arm. Jack looked at it, but neither said anything.

"No," Kate said finally. She looked around the jungle, which seemed more unwelcome than before. Now she could feel it. It. The it that was pain. The it that was death. She was finally understand what it was. "Let's stay out here for awhile.

"No," Jack said, shaking his head in protest, "no.."

He began repeating the word, shaking his head without really being aware if he was doing so. He didn't want to be out here. He wanted to be far away from this place, from this evil.

"It'll be good for you," Kate said softly, reaching up and brushing a hand against Jack's face, wiping away a tear. Jack was finally able to cease his crying, and met Kate's eyes. The bags below his eyes were now rimmed red, and Kate's own eyes were still clogged with tears that she swallowed back, determining not to let loose. She needed to be strong. Strong for Jack.

"Okay," Jack finally agreed, nodding.

(space)

"Why are we in a tree again?" Jack asked Kate as he hoisted himself to the last branch, dozens of feet above the ground. He grabbed Kate's hand, and pulled her up.

Kate eased into a spot on a sturdy branch, as if that spot were made for her.

"Because," she said as Jack carefully balanced himself into a sitting position, "trees are above the ground."

Jack forced himself to glance down below him, and through millions of shimmering leaves he caught a glimpse of the ground. It had earned his position on Jack's most hated list, though he knew it was a silly thing to hold a grudge against. The ground. Who hated the ground?

"That's for sure," Jack muttered to himself.

For the next moment, they sat in silence. The sky above was beginning to fade into a teal blue color, as if it had been waiting for this very moment to change.

"Shannon's dead," Kate whispered. Jack looked at her in surprise and disbelief. "I found her body. It wasn't ripped up..it was just..it was just there."

Kate was looking to the ground with not a trace of fear in her eyes, but a different kind of sorrow. Guilt.

"It's not your fault," Jack said quietly, wishing he had thought to make room for Kate beside himself. Now he wasn't sure if he could even risk reaching out to her. So he did anyway. Kate looked down at his hand, but neither said anything.

"I'm sorry," she said at last, "about Alex." Jack looked away quickly, not wanting to have to face the situation, the reminder of it, again. "I know you loved her as a daughter."

"I shouldn't of," Jack said quietly, shaking his head. Unsure of what to say, Kate didn't reply. "Can we just..change the subject?"

"Sure," Kate said, just as willing for the subject change as he.

They both knew they had to face this, but just not now. So they just sat there, letting the world revolve around them. Miles away someone was coming home from work, greeting their kids, setting fast food on the counter as their dog yapped at their feet. The television would be turned on and the news would be watched. Or maybe it would be a game show. A stress reliever. Jack had always thought that's why they showed the classics around six. The perfect way for someone to get their mind off of things. The things people related to in comedies were the things they looked back and laughed at.

"Sing something," Kate said suddenly, interrupting his thoughts.

Jack looked up to her in surprise.

"What?" He asked, though he had heard her clearly.

"I've never heard you sing before," Kate said. She stopped, thinking about it. "Really sing."

"Yes you have," Jack argued.

"No," Kate said in the finalizing tone all women seemed to possess, "I haven't."

She narrowed her eyes, daring Jack to protest. Jack sighed.

"Come on, Kate," Jack whined. He really didn't feel up to karaoke at the moment.

"Come on, Jack," Kate echoed, "for me."

Her eyes twinkled, because Kate had a secret. She knew singing would get Jack's mind off of things, even if it was only for thirty minutes.

"Fine," Jack agreed reluctantly. Kate smiled. "What do you want me to sing?"

Kate shrugged.

"Anything?"

Jack sighed, and scanned the jungle for any inspiration. The sky, whose behavior had been poking at the back of his mind all day, stuck out to him, reminding him that soon, night would come. Night would come, and everything would be the same. Nature had no uniqueness at night. Jack took a deep breath, and made a mental reminder to torture Kate with his own request later. He realized she was watching him, and finally gave in.

"Look at the stars," Jack began to sing, staring off into space so that he wouldn't have to face Kate, "look how they shine for you-" Kate began to smile a little, and Jack was able to ease into the song. "And all the things you do. Yeah they were all yellow.."

"Aw," Kate said teasingly, "you're a Coldplay fan."

"Yeah?" Jack shot back. "Everyone has a guilty pleasure. Mine just happens to be good music."

Kate snorted.

"Sure."

"Come on," Jack said. He was actually being to smile a little. It was sad, but it wasn't fake. He actually felt guilty, at feeling like this in such a dramatic time. But Kate tended to have that affect on him. "Let's hear you."

"What?" Kate said, eyes bulging in surprise.

"Sing," Jack said, "it's only fair."

Jack's eyes were twinkling now, and part of Kate agreed just because she was afraid that after today, she'd never see that in them again.

"Okay," she finally said, "I confess. When I was in high school, I was in _Rent_."

"Oh God," Jack said, closing his eyes as if it were a painful thing, "not the whole, no day but to day, measure life in love crap."

"It is not crap!" Kate cried defensively. "And I was good too! I could've done broadway if I wanted to."

"But other career options were just too tempting, huh?" Jack teased.

They exchanged knowing half-smiles until Kate finally sighed.

"Okay," she said at last, "here we go.."

She open her mouth to let out the first note, but something else came out instead. A roar from the jungle. This time, a much louder one. But then Jack realized, it wasn't from the jungle. It was from the sky.

A plane was flying over, zigzagging in an ungraceful choreography. It was crashing.

"Oh my God," Jack muttered to himself, already scampering down the tree, Kate following close behind him.

They ran into the jungle, the sound of the engine leading them far away from where they were before, into an unfamiliar area of wood. The crashing engine ceased to a steady whining, like a freight train that was stuck on the tracks. When they found it, it was in the clearing, or what used to be a clearing. The plane crashed into a mass of trees, which stuck out in unearthly positions through the windows. Screams filled the air, along with cries of help. But Jack and Kate just stood there, too in shock to react.

"Help us!" Someone screamed, a man, whose body had plowed through the window at the impact, legs stuck crushed against a fallen seat.

Jack couldn't even think. He had known the plane was coming, but the experience was just too surreal. What was he supposed to do? Who was he supposed to help first? A roar answered his crisis, this time, really from the jungle. It was all too familiar, and all Jack wanted to do was run. But he stood there, remaining stationary by Kate, who stood beside him in a frozen shock. In front of them the engine was sputtering, and the passenger's cries grew louder, more frantic. Then suddenly, they grew even louder, and the roar came again, sounding like a never ending thunderbolt; an explosion that wouldn't stop rocking the ground.

Even though the earth beneath them shook, Jack and Kate were somehow able to maintain their balance, Kate holding onto Jack's arm for support. Still people screamed, and still all they could do was stand there. And then the tug came. The ground was ripped beneath them, causing the plane to thrash back and forth until it was pulled up and then back down by some force than neither Jack nor Kate could see. With one final tug, the plane was thrown up and elsewhere, until screams rang so loud seemed to cause it to disappear completely. Now all that was left in front of Jack and Kate was torn earth, split in half by an ugly cut. Just like that, the plane was gone. And still they stood.

**Author's Note:** Okay, before you all kill me, everything happens for a reason! Alex's death was needed to cause the angst that will lead to the ending climax, and be the motive for every descion Jack makes from here on out. As for Shannon, her death was needed for Sayid and Boone. As for that last bit, if any of you are confused as to what happened, please let me know. It would've been so much easier if you guys could see it on screen. Basically, Jack and Kate saw the plane crash and then saw it being eaten. This was actually the first chapter I ever planned for this fic, way back on the Fourth of July, inspired by _War of the Worlds_. I do hope that you guys still stick with me. Neither Alex nor Shannon will be forgotten, and their will definitely be closer with Alex's death. Thanks for the reviews! You guys still rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

The castaways must work together to find out what happened to Jack and Kate, whose grieving process is cut off by a state of shock. To make maters worst, no one knows what happened to their missing loved ones(Alex and Shannon).

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	26. Intervention

In the End

Chapter Twenty-Six

**Chapter Twenty-Six:** Intervention

It was hard to decide on what to think about the atmosphere of the caves, and the residence inside them. Were these people running or hiding? Were they afraid or angry? Or were they just too exhausted to care? At the beach it was a whole different story. These people seemed braver. They lived out in the open, as if trying to stick it to the enemies face that they weren't afraid. Their enemy was a machine, after. A _machine_. Or at least that was the latest rumor.

Light was scarce at the caves, giving it a dark tone, like the tinting of a picture. If you wanted to read, most of the time you were out of luck. There was no writing in your diary at night, or reading the news early in the morning.

But the worst part of the picture was the people. The people were confused, fearful, nervous. The people didn't know what to do. They no longer traveled in packs, as they did when the Others were their threat. Now they sulked on their own, hiding out in corners, creeping around in the shadows. Stay under the covers and the monster can't get to you.

In the back of everyone's minds, despite what the latest theory was, each castaway had their own version of the monster. It could be the boogyman that haunted your closet when you were a kid, or the ghost in the attic. The bully that beat you up on the first day of school, or the girl who stood you up at prom. But those things didn't eat you. They just chewed away the insides. Those things worked for the monster, and they didn't make life any easier. It was a wonder what they had to live for, when they lived so independently.

The day had been dragging by slowly, as they all did. People never came and went as they used to, instead, they stayed right where they were, hiding under invisible covers. Stay under the covers and the monster can't get you.

"Jack?"

Heads turned at Charlie's shaky comment. Jack and Kate were entering the caves, arms wrapped around each other. They both looked as if they weren't aware of where they were. Lost.

"Jack?" Charlie asked again, standing up slowly, his hand gradually sliding off Claire's shoulder.

Aaron began to cry in soft whails in Claire's arms, and Claire desperately tried to calm him back to sleep. Rocking him back and forth, Claire watched Charlie intently with the rest of the cave residence as he cautiously approached Jack and Kate, who kept walking as if they didn't realize that they were home now, they could stop. Charlie studied them for a long note, taking in their dead expressions and vacant eyes, pale faces that were frozen in fear.

"Someone get Sayid!" Charlie called to whomever was available, which, half of the time, meant no one. Sayid was at the beach, which meant going through the jungle. They were afraid of the jungle. "Someone get Sayid!"

"He's over here!" Boone called. "God, stop shouting."

Sidestepping some luggage scattered carelessly on the floor, Boone followed Sayid to Charlie, both looking exhausted. Everyone could note that the two of them always seemed slightly paler than the others who stayed at the beach, especially Boone who seemed to be constantly sick, coughing and sneezing as if he had been locked up in a dusty, cramped, space for too long.

"What happened?" Sayid asked with an urgency that never left his tone.

Now they were all following Jack and Kate, who were walking slowly, mechanically, into nowhere. Sayid put a hand out, placing it on Jack's should to stop him. A long moment passed before Jack looked up to Sayid, acknowledging that he was there. They all waited for Jack to say something, explain his behavior; or maybe for Kate to defend Jack, telling them to give him time before questioning him. But neither came.

"Jack?" Sayid said, this time his voice softer, more concerned.

Sayid realized that the entirety of the caves was watching him, all with anxious eyes, awaiting the news that the knew had to be delivered. Taking a deep breath, Sayid took his hand off Jack's shoulder, and turned to Charlie.

"Get them to their cave," he instructed, "keep everyone calm."

"And what are you going to do?" Charlie inquired hotly, squirming at the idea of being in charge.

"That's what I have to figure out," Sayid said. He didn't sound too thrilled with the task, but everyone knew he wouldn't back down from it. Sayid was one of the stronger ones, confident, unafraid. Almost too confident. Even Jack was skeptic sometimes, if you caught him at the right moment.

Shortly after Jack and Kate were seated in their caves, propped up against the wall like dolls that had been neglected in an old room. Charlie was leaning against the far wall, looking around nervously, biting his lip as he waited for Sayid to return. At last he did, entering the caves with a full bottle of water. Crouching down in front of the two, Sayid studied Jack and Kate before holding out the water.

Their eyes were distant and emotionless, though at the same time fearful pain seemed to be seeping through them. Jack's arm was thrown lackadaisly around Kate, though he still kept a tight, protective grip around her shoulders, as if he had forgotten to let go. Kate's hand was resting on his arm, staring at the same place as he was in space, as if it were decided mutually between them, holding some great importance to them both that no one else knew of.

Sun appeared by Sayid's side before he could speak, and the two exchanged glances.

"You should drink something," she suggested smartly, "Jack?"

"He won't answer," Sayid informed her, a trace of sympathy in his voice. Jack wouldn't withhold any information they may need to know on purpose. Something had to of happened.

"Jack," Sun said again calmly, kindly, professionally as if she knew exactly what she was doing, "can you hear me?"

"Of course he can hear you," Charlie spat, almost disgusted, from the far wall, "he has ears, you know. It's not like he would've suddenly turned-"

Sayid held up a hand, and Charlie immediately stopped.

"Are you hurt?" Sun asked Jack and Kate, looking at each of them in turn, not impatient. Kind, but still concerned. Neither replied, though none of them really expected it. She turned now to Kate. "Kate, you're safe now. If you're all right, can you squeeze Jack's hand?"

Kate's hand sat on Jack's lower arm, fingertips curling around the small of his wrist, laying against his skin, so still, not even trembling.

"I think that was a squeeze," Charlie said, hinting excitement, his voice that of a child's.

"No," Sayid said, not as thrilled, "it wasn't."

Sighing, he stood, and Sun looked up to him.

"We can't give up," she said, glancing towards Jack and Kate worriedly, "we need to know what happened. They may be hurt!"

"We aren't giving up," Sayid said curtly, heading towards the exit, "but you are."

"What?" Sun said incredulously. "No! I can help them. I-"

"Have you ever had to bring a person out of shock before?" Sayid inquired, crossing his arms as he cut in. Charlie was now listening carefully from nearby. "Whatever happened to them wasn't good. It could take days to pull someone out of shock. And with some-" he glanced towards the caves, eyes softening in regret in sympathy, "it never leaves them."

Charlie pulled himself off the wall, face contorted in disbelief.

"You mean he could be like this forever?" He said, sounding angry.

Sayid finally took his eyes off Jack's cave.

"We can only hope not," he said quietly.

A moment passed before anyone spoke, and it seemed to unreal that while they were dealing with this sudden tradgeity, nearby someone was worrying about what to wear. Then again, that was sometimes just their way of dealing with pain. Like Shannon, Sayid noted.

"But you can help them, right?" Charlie said, speaking faster as he grew more nervous. "You'll bring them out of this?" Sayid looked hesitant, not responding. "Sayid?" Still no reply. "You have to do this!"

"I know what I have to do," Sayid snapped, almost insulted.

Taken aback, Charlie took a step away from Sayid, and looked around.

"Claire needs me," he muttered quietly. Sayid nodded as he left, and paused before turning back to Sun. "I know what I'm doing."

Sun looked reluctant to agree, but nodded.

"I can help if you need me," she offered, "and Sayid?" Sayid looked to her, realizing how little they paid attention to Sun, ignoring her thinking that if they left her alone, they could get away with helping her. It was too awkward, dealing with death, too painful, and now Sayid felt guilty for it. "They're going to be okay."

Sayid couldn't be as certain, but he tilted his head in a nod, just to reassure Sun, who gave him a small smile and squeezed his arm before leaving. Taking a deep breath, Sayid looked to Jack's cave again before heading towards it, knowing well that what he had to do wasn't going to be easy. Jaw firm, expression hardened, Sayid walked towards Jack cave, letting the world dissolve around him, focusing on this one thing.

Silence greeted Sayid when he entered the caves, a silence so thin with tension, it made him feel sick. It was like Jack and Kate weren't even there. They were lost in a place so dark and frightening, that bringing them out of it would be a shock itself. So when Sayid knelt before them a second time, he managed a face of sympathy like he had never had to put on before, knowing that this time, it would be difficult than others. Sayid knew these people, cared about them, and knew what they meant to each other. He wasn't going to let that be lost.

Sayid entered the room with the presence of a principal walking in on a class of misbehaved kids. Calm, but alert, Sayid tried to keep his cool, and first went to the task of deciding how serious the situation was. Jack and Kate weren't talking, but why? Was it something they saw, or something that happened to them? Or both?

"Are either of you hurt?" Sayid asked, wincing slightly at the harshness of his tone. "Jack?"

Jack would surely be the first to crack, that he was certain. If it had anything to do with Kate's health or safety, he was always the first to step up, the first put himself on the line.

But Jack didn't respond. Jack looked just as distant as Kate, trapped in some sort of frightened shock. Now Sayid was certain that whatever had happened, they had both experienced it. Yet he had heard nothing in the jungle, no cry for help or scream. He thought he heard the distant roar of the monster, but hadn't thought on in, sure that it was too far away, and figuring none of their own would be out that far. Besides that, Sayid did his best to try and keep his mind off the monster, or his role in its doings.

Crouching down cautiously, still worried about startling either of them, Sayid glanced between the two, as he had done earlier, hoping to catch a movement from either one of them. He took a deep breath, determined not to lose patience so easily. Interrogation was his forte, but this was much more personal. And he had a bad feeling about this. Something deep down told him that something was wrong, very wrong.

"You're safe," he told them reassuringly, "you're okay-" he looked to Kate, and had Jack looked back, they would've locked eyes, "Kate's okay."

"Sayid?"

At Boone's voice Sayid turned to find Boone standing near the entrance, looking sickly pale. His hands were stuffed inside his pockets, and he walked towards Sayid with an unbalanced grace, stumbling after only a few feet. For a moment he just stared at Sayid, dreading what he had to say.

"They say Shannon went missing," Boone told him, his voice barely above a whisper. A note began forming in Sayid's stomach, tightening with every word Boone said, his tone getting weaker, speaking faster as he went. "They said..they said they went out to look for her, Jack and Kate, and-" Boone swallowed hard, choking out his words, "she hasn't come back."

Neither one of them spoke. The only sound that could be heard was the rasp breathing from Boone. Jack nor Kate reacted to the news, not even a hint of recognition.

"She's missing," Boone whispered, knowing it had to be said, knowing that neither one of them wanted to say it, "she's gone."

It was a full moment before Sayid could bring himself to speak, hardly able to process the news. Shannon wasn't there. Why didn't he notice before? Why didn't he go to see her first, instead of coming to the caves? Why wasn't he there in the first place, to prevent her from going missing? No. He couldn't do this. He wasn't going to let it happen, so he wasn't going to believe it.

"She's not gone," Sayid said, holding in every ounce of doubt that was waving through him and trying to push through as much confidence if possible. If he would believe it, it would come true. Boone didn't look too convince.

"No," Boone said, shaking his head, stuttering as repeated the word over and over again, "no, no..I know something's wrong. I mean, look at them!" He jabbed a hand towards Jack and Kate, but still neither moved.

"No," Sayid said, placing a hand on Boone's shoulder, "she's all right."

Boone stared at him for a moment, and shook his head.

"No," Boone said, the sense of dread mirroring through his voice, giving it a dead feeling, like all at once he knew everything was gone.

The tension at that moment could've been cut with a knife, sliced open and dissected, analyze every ounce of observation, and have it entered in data to have filed and kept away carefully, so that no one else would ever have to know.

"We're not going to know what happened until either Jack or Kate tells us," Sayid said. He realized his breathing was irregular, taking breaths at a pace that forced him to break from speaking, cutting himself off.

Boone held his stare for a moment longer, just hoping that Sayid would get it. But Sayid never retaliated, so Boone spun on his heal and exited, head hanging to his chest in defeat. Sayid, however, wasn't giving up as easily. He turned back to Jack and Kate, jaw set, expression firm with determination. But when he opened his mouth, nothing came out. He was as frozen as the two across from him, with Boone's word playing in his head like a broken film strip, stuck, stationary. Repeating over and over. It was all he could do to shake himself out of it, and force himself to remain strong. He couldn't give in yet. He wasn't going to.

But once again, before he could continue his inquiry, a figure appeared in the cave's entrance.

"Sayid."

Turning, he saw that now Charlie was there, looking uneasy, like Boone, and sickly.

"Alex was with them," Charlie said at last, his voice shaky," they she went with him to look for Shannon..she didn't come back-" his face was pale, matching Boone's exactly. Charlie swallowed, forcing himself to continue. "What are we going to tell Danielle?"

And that's when thing really started going downhill. As if they weren't bad enough. Jack and Kate weren't talking, Shannon was missing, Alex was missing, people were worried, people were confused, people were afraid. And Sayid was in charge. That much was obvious. It was a wonder why they didn't just go to Locke, he was the oldest, after all, and one of the most experienced. People seemed to feel more comfortable around someone like Jack, or someone compassionate like Kate. Sayid was strong, but he wasn't stone either. Locke was mysterious, and being mysterious in a mysterious place wasn't smart.

"She's not here," Charlie said, interrupting Sayid's silence, "so that means we can think on it, right?"

It took Sayid a moment to process what Charlie was saying. Sayid was drifting from being "there" and being somewhere else. The thought of being somewhere else was so welcoming that Sayid almost fell into that place incidentally.

"Right," Sayid replied absentmindedly. Moments later, he wasn't even sure of what his answer was.

"Well.." Charlie trailed off, looking around the room, obviously trying to avoid Sayid, "good luck."

With a forced smile of sympathy, Charlie hit the wall before leaving, his footsteps echoing in a long walk before finally disappearing. Closing his eyes, Sayid took a final deep breath, now only thoughts of Shannon running through his head. He turned back to Jack and Kate, more determined than ever. Surely with Alex in the picture, Jack would be more willing cooperate. Everyone knew he cared for her, almost like she was his daughter. Once again Sayid crouched down to Jack and Kate's level, and looked at each before speaking.

"Was Alex with you?" Sayid asked, pronuntiating each syllable carefully. Silence followed. "Do you know what happened to her?" He only paused a beat before going on. Neither could've answered if they wanted to. "What happened to Shannon?"

The smallest whimper broke the silence, snapping the edgiest, in a soft cry of a child. Sayid watched, unsure if he should interfere, as Kate slid deeper into Jack's hold, laying her head against his chest. Instead of comforting her, or tightening his grip around her, Jack's arm just lay limply around shoulders. Kate, seeming aware of this, held onto his arm, trembling. Sayid stood up. Though her eyes remained distant, watery, Sayid knew that any moment now he might know the truth about Shannon. He'd either be very right, or very wrong. He realized he didn't want to know. As long as he didn't know, everything was still okay.

"Did they say anything?" Charlie asked him as soon as Sayid stepped out of the caves.

Glancing around the caves to delay answering, Sayid noticed that Claire was there now, bouncing Aaron in his arms, looking worried. The baby looked fine, sleeping soundly, and Sayid decided that she must've not even realized that he was asleep yet.

"They're resting," Sayid lied, turning towards the waterfall.

"Resting?" Charlie repeated incredulously, following Sayid through the caves. "You let them _rest_?"

Sayid spun around, suddenly feeling very agitated and very tired. He didn't need this.

"They need their rest," Sayid replied simply, and threw his bag over his shoulder, forgetting about the water.

Everyone nearby watched as he left the caves, leaving Charlie in the rest in confusion as he headed to the beach.

(space)

"Well, it was worth a try," Locke said with a sympathetic smile.

"The boar almost knocked you into a bush," Danielle reminded him, feeling a bit disappointed that they couldn't bring back any dinner, yet at the same time, she felt..good. It just felt good to be around Locke, someone who was so similar to herself.

"I thought we were both in agreement that the bush was in my way," Locke said with a grin.

Danielle laughed. They were approaching the beach now, and any moment, she expected Alex to come running, demanded to know where she had been all day. Instead, a much more darker picture greeted them. Groups gathered in circles around fires as the sun began setting the distance. Quiet chatter feared the air, and glances were momentarily thrown her way, and Danielle knew immediately that something wasn't wrong. She looked around desperately; the second thing she noticed was that Alex wasn't here.

"Danielle-" Locke began tentivily from behind her.

He seemed to have the same sense of dread that she did, but nothing could top the motherly instinct of knowing that something was wrong. Worry was thrust at her unwillingly, and Danielle's feet scampered across the beach as she began running, searching for her daughter. Alex didn't like the jungle. Surely she wouldn't be there. She knew Locke was behind her, but she didn't listen to his calls for her to stop.

Down the beach Boone was sitting alone, oblivious to the trouble stirring up between Danielle and the other castaways, not noticing the footsteps approaching him until the voice spoke.

"Kate knows what happened to Shannon."

Boone didn't respond as Sayid set down next to him. When he came to the beach he had every full intention of finding out what happened to Shannon, but when he arrived, he couldn't. Unintentionally he had taken a path that led directly to Shannon and Sayid's tent, cluttered with Shannon's things that lay on the ground. He stood there for a long time, staring at them. They were only a reminder that he had let her down. Had he not been in the hatch, or had he just come to see her once and awhile, more than he did..and if something was wrong..he'd never be able to forgiven himself.

"She reacted when I asked," Sayid continued, "but I walked out."

Sayid looked down to the ground, and Boone finally took his eyes off the horizon.

"What?" He said in disbelief.

"I couldn't," Sayid said quietly, so quietly that Boone was sure that he wasn't supposed to hear. Sayid cleared his throat, looking up. Boone expected him to say something else, but he never did.

"Something happened to Shannon," Boone said, "why don't you want to know what?"

Sayid paused before speaking, thinking, debating if he should tell the truth.

"Because if I don't know," Sayid began, "then I won't have to accept that something happened."

He turned towards Boone, as if daring him to challenge. Boone understood where he was coming from, but he also realized that he shouldn't be sitting here, waiting for answers. He was doing exactly what he felt guilty about: not being there.

"If you want to see here, fine," Boone said, getting to his feet, "I can't."

"You're not going to find what you're looking for," Sayid speaking up at last minute.

Boone's mouth fell open, and he wondered how Sayid could be in such denial. Could he not feel what he was feeling, knowing that something was wrong? Or was the connection between Sayid and Shannon not strong enough for that kind of feeling? Or maybe too strong? He shook his head, forcing himself away from those kinds of thoughts. Now was not the time to be jealous or envious of Sayid. In a few hours, none of that may matter. But he didn't want to think about that either.

"At least I'm looking," he said, and turned around, this time walking straight past the tent, and into the jungle.

Part of Sayid wanted to follow him, to help look for Shannon, but he was immobile. He didn't want to find what Boone was looking for. He didn't want Shannon to be gone, to lose someone else that he loved. He didn't want to, and he couldn't.

(space)

Rebecca continued to get better as the day went on, but Sawyer found himself being extra cautious around her. He wouldn't let her get up, or hardly even shift positions. Whenever she started to, all he could think of was Rebecca collapsing, and the fear that he may lose her forever. So when she began getting hungry around sundown, Sawyer won an argument, allowing himself to get her some fruit from the jungle. Sick people needed nutrition anyway, right?

The jungle seemed more silent than usual, not even the casual breeze blowing. It almost made him turn back, giving him a feeling of uneasiness. The carefree sense of living he had before was gone, replaced by trauma and torture beyond belief. He had more painful experiences on the island that he could've ever dreamed of bargaining for, and suddenly, playing daredevil didn't seem too welcoming anymore. But it was always fun to try on old mask.

A sudden rustling caught his attention from above, and Sawyer froze, slowly turning his head towards the sky. But when he saw a silluhete of a human in the trees, he relaxed. Humans, he could take. As light shifted towards the tree, Sawyer was able to make out who it was.

"Ain't that a sight for sore eyes?" He called up.

Sun smiled down at him while continuing to tug on a piece of fruit that was refusing to come loose of its branch.

"Need some help?" Sawyer offered.

"I can get it," Sun said, lying through her teeth as she blew back a strand of hair that had fallen into her face.

"Sure," Sawyer said, slurred with a mischievous grin.

He looked around the jungle, wondering if Sun noticed the off-atmosphere of the jungle as well.

"So what's with all the..silence?"

"I wouldn't complain," Sun said wisely with a weak smile.

Sawyer continued watching her, and without realizing it, let out an inner cry of relief when Sun pulled the fruit free. She went on with the picking, as if it were nothing. Sun was like that, always willing to do something for someone else or herself, but never boasting about it, or even taking credit for it. The quality reminded Sawyer a little of a female version of Jack. Sawyer shivered. Now that was a scary thought.

"Ain't that Kate's job?" He asked.

Sun looked down at him, and he immediately knew there was something that he didn't know. Sawyer watched as she climbed down the tree, placing the bag of fruit carefully on the ground, pausing before finally replying.

"Kate came back with Jack an hour ago," Sun began softly, "they haven't said anything about what happened."

He could feel his eyes growing darker, and suddenly it seemed only appropriate that the jungle was silent and the night was still.

"Did they find Shannon?" Sawyer asked, unable to bring his voice over a whisper.

Now that he thought about it, on his way into the jungle he spotted Sayid and Boone talking, and those two were never together- at least not at the beach. The only time they merged was when Shannon was concerned.

"We don't know," Sun replied quietly.

A much deeper silenced tension than the jungle could ever provide passed through the moment, and as if it knew it was missed and needed, the familiar cool breeze of the jungle stirred up again. Sun shivered.

"I was going to see if they wanted to eat something," Sun said, remembering the fruit.

"I'll come," Sawyer volunteered. Though he wanted to get back to Rebecca, he was curious about the silence situation, and after spending all day at the beach taking care of her, he thought he deserved a break.

"I can do it," Sun said quickly.

Though he figured that Sun, being someone who he assumed was very sheltered and cared for, would rather not travel through the jungle hoarding food at night, Sawyer also figured that Sun knew she never got do help out much, and was leaping at her opportunity.

"I insist," Sawyer said with a grin, "anything for the lady."

He winked, and Sun blushed through the darkness.

"Rebecca's lucky," she complimented.

Her reply came softly, almost regretfully. Sun smiled sadly, and Sawyer took it among himself to broaden up the moment, as always.

"I know," Sawyer said slyly with a wink as he reached down to pick up the fruit. Sun looked ready to protest, but so was Sawyer. "I insist."

Smiling briefly, Sawyer suddenly was reminded of Jin, though for no apparent reason. It was the first time Sawyer had thought of him since his death, determined to keep those thoughts out of his head, along with the deaths of Michael and Walt. He didn't need that kind of guilt hanging over him. Over the years, Sawyer decided it was best to just ignore these kinds of things.

When they reached the caves, Sawyer was surprised at how quiet he was. As they walked through the main cave, carefully sidestepping sleeping castaways, they could've heard a pindrop, even over the waterfall, which seemed to be the comfort of night. But the big surprise came when he first stepped into Jack's cave, and realized how serious the situation was.

The two were laying in each other's arms against the wall, though they didn't seem aware that they were. Kate's head was laying against Jack's chest, breathing in unison with him. Sun stepped forward in front of Sawyer, who shook himself back into reality.

"Jack?" Sun asked in a kind, quiet, voice. "Are you hungry?"

Sun picked up a piece of fruit between to fingers, handing it out to Jack as if trying to attempt him.

"Somethin' tells me he won't go for that," Sawyer snorted.

Sun simply smiled at Sawyer's humor, secretly grateful for it.

"Jack," Sun said again in the same kind voice, "you should eat."

Jack didn't even look at the food. His distant stare sent shivers up his spine; he'd never seen a look like that. This couldn't of ben comfortable for Sun.

"How 'bout I take over?" He offered. Sun looked up to him in surprise. "Can't be that hard, right?"

Sun stood up, looking Sawyer right in the eye.

"We don't know what they went through," Sun glanced towards Jack and Kate. For a moment she looked doubtful, but handed Sawyer the piece of fruit. "Be careful."

"You're actually going to let me do this?" Sawyer said, not bothering to hide his surprise.

"At the least," Sun began, "maybe you could annoy them out of shock."

They exchanged smiles, and Sawyer had a feeling that he should be grateful for what comic relief he could get. Sun brushed her hand against his shoulder before leaving Sawyer alone with Jack and Kate. He stood there for a moment, wondering where he should begin.

"Well," he said, clapping his hands together as he rolled back on the balls of his feet. He realized too late that the fruit was still in his hands, now smashed into a sticky goo soaked onto his hands. "Damn."

He snickered at his mistake, partially expecting Jack to laugh along with him.

"Guess it's just yall and me," Sawyer said, taking a seat across from the two.

Reaching down, he picked up a second piece of fruit. Sawyer grinned at his plan.

"Come on Kate," he said in a mock child's voice, slowly steering the fruit towards Kate's mouth, "open up for Sawyer."

Kate didn't budge.

"God dammit," he muttered bitterly under his breath, already frustrated. With grace he flung the fruit into his own mouth, wincing at its sweet taste.

He looked around the cave for a distraction, knowing that food and talking wouldn't work. His eyes scanned Jack's medical cart, and Sawyer noticed that hidden amongst it was a patch of leather he was surprised Jack just left around. Curious, Sawyer reached for it, pulling back a wallet.

"Well, well, well," he said, grinning mischievously to himself, "what do we have here?"

The first thing he checked was the money pouch. There were a couple of coupons, no longer in use to the world, and four pennies. He snorted, Sawyer always heard that the doctors were the well-paid ones.

Next he went to the pictures, and wasn't surprised to find that most of the plastic flaps were empty. All but one. In it lay a small picture, just small enough for a wallet, with a dark blue background. As Sawyer pulled the picture out, he noticed it was a picture of a little girl with blonde hair and unmistakingly familiar eyes.

"Cute kid," Sawyer complimented, "Kate told me you had one-" he flipped the picture over, checking for writing. On the slick paper a phone number was written, scribbled with a hurried hand. No name was written under it. "She has daddy's eyes-" he snorted to himself- "no doubt his mouth too."

At that moment Sawyer could've sworn a cool breeze blew through the caves, and he looked up, startled. Jack's eyes greeted him. A long moment passed as the two just stared at each other, and Sawyer let out a silent cry of triumph. Then just like that, Jack looked back to where he had been staring before, and a few moments more, Sawyer was sure that he imagined it.

(space)

"Why are you here?"

Boone turned around at the voice he didn't expect to here.

"I-" Boone thought quickly, "forgot something."

Callum nodded, and looked around the hatch, eyes lingering on the computer, screen still painted with red and white. Boone swallowed. He felt guilty for coming down here after all he said about looking for Shannon, but being in the jungle made him feel dizzy, sick, and suddenly Boone was feeling the denial that Sayid possessed.

"My sister's missing," Boone blurted out, immediately looking down to the floor, ears reddening.

Callum studied him for a moment before replying.

"Your stepsister?" He asked carefully.

"Yeah," Boone said with a sad smile, "her."

He was flattered that Callum remembered the story, though Boone had only told him the story vaguely.

"So why are you down here?" Callum asked again.

Boone looked around, searching for his answer.

"I don't know," he admitted, "I just..is it weird to say I just feel good down here?"

Shrugging, Callum turned to the computer and leaned against the keyboard, as Boone had done many times in the adjacent room. He realized for the first time how similar they were, both forced into this 'destiny' they couldn't escape from.

"You know, Daniel lost his wife," Callum said suddenly.

"The one you crashed here with?" Boone inquired.

Callum nodded.

"A year before the trip," he explained, and shook his head, turning back to the screen, lost in his story, "tore him apart. Tried to kill himself once."

"I tried to kill myself," Boone interjected without realizing he was doing so. He thought he would regret admitting this, or be embarrassed, but to his surprise, he didn't. "I worked at this pool and..well..the water was right there."

"You tried to drown yourself?" Callum said in awe, turning back towards Boone.

He nodded.

"I.." he searched for the right way to explain it, "my life sucked."

Callum snorted.

"Don't they all?"

"Yeah," said Boone, not being able to help but to smile sadly. That sounded like Shannon.

He looked around the hatch again, studying the damp, ancient walls, admiring the furnishings of the systems and interiors. It felt so surreal to think that years ago, someone had a plan for all this, possibly innocent, never imagining the pain they would once cause. And suddenly, denial didn't seem very appealing anymore. Suddenly he had to get out, had to fight what he was going through.

"I've got to go," Boone spoke up.

"I know," Callum said in a slightly eerie voice that sent shivers up Boone's spine.

Deciding not to think twice on the comment, Boone left the hatch, trying to prepare himself for whatever he may fine, for better or for worse.

(space)

Sayid quietly tiptoed into Jack's cave, clutching a bleeding hand tightly. When he reached the medicine cart he let out a sigh of relief, but his exhaustion got the better of him, causing him to fumble with the peroxide, knocking over a few bottles of pills. He winced at the echoey noise it made. Sayid glanced quickly towards Jack and Kate, who still were against the wall. Jack was now laying on his side, hands curled up beneath his head. Kate's arm was buried beneath him, as if she were hiding it from something. From what he could tell, Kate was asleep, but Jack's eyes were still wide and distant.

"Sorry," he said to Jack, though he knew he wasn't listening, "I cut my hand-" he uncapped the peroxide and reached for a cotton ball, "normally I wouldn't make a deal of it, but I think some wood got into the cut-" he himself didn't seem to notice his rambling, "I was making firewood, in case Shannon came back-"

"Shannon's dead."

The two words Sayid feared hearing the most. Surely he was just hearing things. Slowly Sayid turned to Jack for confirmation, but Jack stay laying still as stone. Swallowing, Sayid looked down. The peroxide slipped out of his fingers, falling to the ground, the liquid spilling out onto the floor, leaking to his shoes. Sayid ignored it.

It couldn't be true. He didn't want it to be true. Sayid was never wrong, and he didn't want to be wrong about this. This was crazy. Shannon couldn't be dead..she just couldn't. Furious, confused, and a million other unrecognizable emotions to him, Sayid ran from the caves, fleeing for what felt like the first time.

He felt sick as he left, ignoring the groans from the sleeping castaways on the way out, ignoring Sun and Sawyer, who watched him as he passed on his way out of the caves.

The cool jungle air felt very relieving, and he finally slowed to a walk ten minutes from the caves. Dizziness came over him as his emotions built up, and Sayid was regretting running when he could've just stayed at the caves, collapsing into a mannequin like Jack and Kate.

Suddenly a sound caught his attention, a sniffle, as if someone were trying to hold back a sob. Sayid stopped, holding his breath as he watched a figure emerge from the shadows. It was late now, and Sayid couldn't think of who would be out other than Locke or Boone. Or Boone. He was sure now that he'd be sick, but all of those emotions stopped when it was Boone who stepped out of the shadows. Something lay on the ground beside him, his hand gripped tightly around as Boone struggled to catch his balance from having to drag it. He finally met eyes with Sayid, Boone's eyes swollen red, eyes bloodshot. They remained staring like that until Sayid forced himself to look down, swallowing and knowing that for once, he was wrong. On the ground lay Shannon, cut up and bruised, a pale, cold, hand clutching Boone's tightly. She was dead.

Sayid breathed in deeply, determined not to sob or cry, not here, not now. He would later, when he was alone. Years from now, when he was alone. There would always be time for crying. As there was always time for being wrong. So why now? He felt betrayed, as if the world turned against him with the shade of the moonlight, hiding behind the stars. Now he could only hope that he would wake up and this would all be one big nightmare. He wouldn't have this fear, Boone wouldn't be standing in front of him, shaking as he held his dead sister's body. The body of the women he loved. They both loved.

He could hope, but deep down he knew that no nightmare would jerk him from his sleep. All he had to worry about now were the monster that were creeping out of the closet. He had always been so careless, determined that finding love was the world's way of saying he'd be okay. No need to worry about anything. The monsters were only fables and tales from far away lands, unheard of to those who refused to believe. Who just laughed in the face of danger. Who would never be wrong and had no reason to be afraid. Too bad he never hid under the covers.

**Author's Note: **I don't think that turned out the way I wanted it to. I felt very unsure about Sayid, and if his denial was realistic. I left it off to where I could add more if I wanted to come back and do so, or make it all one big chapter for next chapter. I think I might just do that. Thanks so much for all the reviews! I'm glad you guys seem understanding..things'll start heating up soon, hopefully. Thanks again! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

A return and another very angsty chapter. In the future, you'll see lots of Sayid and Boone conversations..but don't forget about Danielle. I can't tell you much, but I can tell you that the next chapter's called "Rest In Peace".

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	27. For the Ones We Love

In the End

Chapter Twenty-Seven

**Author's Note: **I decided to move "Rest In Peace" up a chapter or two. In this chapter, the characters of Sebastian and Michelle(the paranoid, over protective couple on the beach), are reintroduced. From this point on, you'll gradually begin to learn more about them;)

**Chapter Twenty-Seven:** For the Ones We Love

Night was drawing nearer and nearer, threatening to lure them back into danger, taking away their escape of light. But for some, like Sebastian, night was ecstasy. It was a time of silence, when all others were at rest. Taken for granted by most, night was a freefall chance for relief for those who dared to dive into it. For Sebastian, night was a time to ease his worries, knowing that the world was paused at the moment, and that for once in his day, he could breathe. These moments of peace came rarely for him, so rarely that when they did come, they were unrecognizable, usually grasped at the very last possible second.

But in reality, night would still be a couple of hours away, though Sebastian could feel it closing in as his eyelids began to drop, blocking out the fumes coming from the fire he was building. On the sand sat Michelle, knees curled to her chest, sitting as she always did with her arms wrapped around herself in some kind of self-protection. Stealing a glance towards her, he tried to read the distant look in her eyes. But as always, he was shut out by a wall of past, built up by tortured memories and fear. He turned away. Sebastian hated having to see that look in his wife's eyes, the look that took over something that was once so carefree, living life as if it would always be able to be repaired at a shop, or bought again at the nearest drugstore. Loving life.

_His hands shook as he grasped the doorknob, bursting into the room, watching the floor as he went. The room was small, the perfect size for a couple that wouldn't be staying for more than a day or two. Though he expected the room to be dark, the room was quite light, but empty. Panic rushed through him immediately, egged on by a pang of sickness._

_"Did you see him?"_

_Sebastian finally looked up to find the room in the exact same condition as it was in two hours ago: an unmade bed in the center, clothes thrown about. All in disguise, to make the room look like what it wasn't. _

_"God you scared me," Sebastian said, waving a trembling hand through his rapidly growing hair. He'd need a haircut soon, but he was almost afraid to take the time to stop and get one._

_No reply responded to his compliment. Michelle slowly slid out from behind the bed, where she had been hiding in the small area between the bed and wall. She was shaking as well, pale, a hand grasping her untamed hair tightly. _

_"No," he told her at last, shaking his head, "no, he's not in town."_

_Breathing a sigh of relief, Michelle collapsed onto the bed, laying against the pillows with her head resting on the wall. Sebastian watched her carefully, contemplating how to approach her or even speak to her. He watched as she continued to look away from him, staring at the blinds that draped over the window. He couldn't stand seeing her like this, so distant, so afraid. A tear escaped from Michelle's eye and Sebastian cringed, taking a first step towards her._

_"He won't find you," he began softly, in a well-practiced reassuring voice. Sebastian fell onto the bed next to her, and with a cautious hand, pulled back the hair that attached itself to the beams of sweat from Michelle's fear. "I'm promise."_

_He kissed her head, taking in the sweet scent of the shampoo Michelle wore, heavily scented, he noted, to hide whatever smell she feared would stick out. Michelle did everything heavier than normal people, the way she dressed in long sleeves, always wearing her long hair down behind her, even though it had the tendency to shed. She started taking two showers a day, staying under the hot water for record amounts of time, never speaking a word when she'd step out, and casually get ready for her day. She wore heavy makeup, though by the days end, it was usually streaked with tears. Sebastian wrapped his arms around her as these thoughts entered his head. Michelle flinched, and Sebastian quickly dropped his arm, settling on resting it beside her. Some things weren't worth the risk. The woman he loved was an emotional wreck, and the worst part was that she had every reason to be one._

Once the last stick fell into the fire Sebastian dropped on the ground beside his wife, not saying a word. As always.

"Hey," a familiar voice said, approaching him, "you guys know anything about what's going on at the caves?"

Sebastian looked up. The man was familiar, unmistakingly known as the island's 'funny man', large but sweet. He couldn't place a name, but Sebastian had seen him around plenty of times.

"The caves?" Sebastian repeated, searching his mind. He pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, eyes watering at the heavy smoke.

"Yeah," he said, "Jack and Kate haven't said anything since they came back. It's like some shrink session from hell."

At the comment Michelle looked up, head turning ever so slightly from where it had previously been focused. Her expression was calm and collect, interested in what the man had to say.

"What happened?" Michelle asked quietly, barely above an audible whisper.

Sebastian turned quickly to his wife, mesmerized by her voice, a voice so distant he almost didn't recognize it. Michelle hardly spoke, never saying complete sentences or even phrases. She was quietly beyond belief, silenced into her own world of horror. Even the man talking to him, who had never spoken to them before, seem to understand the unnormality of the moment.

"We don't know," he shrugged, "I don't know about you dudes, but whenever Jack's not around to keep things from going crazy, they do."

Michelle stared up at the man, as if deep in thought, ignoring the dirty blonde hair blowing around her. At last she stood, legs trembling on the bones, her weight almost too light to support her. Sebastian stood immediately following, reaching out for her, though she only jerked away.

"I can help," Michelle whispered quietly.

"What?" Sebastian cried. "No, no, you don't have-"

"I know I don't have to," Michelle said quietly, watching her husband closely, "I want to. I want to help."

The man looked between the two, and sensing the tension, shrugged.

"What'd you got?" He asked.

"I used to be a psychologist," Michelle began, her voice hardly rising above a whisper as she told her story, "a few years ago-" she quickly looked down, as if ashamed of something. Then she looked up, quickly stealing a glance toward Sebastian, who was still looking at her, telling her with his eyes that she didn't have to do this. "I- I worked with trauma victims, or at least, I was studying to do so..I was wanting to work with police, you know, special victims and officers."

The man nodded, though it was obvious he had no idea what she was talking about.

"Yeah?" He said. "That's cool. So you think you can help them? Cause Sayid was kinda in charge and he sort of..disapeared. So..help would be good."

Michelle glanced back towards Sebastian, throwing him almost an 'in your face' look, on that turned his tight concerned expression into one that was saddened, hurt. Forcing herself away from her husband, trying to ignore the sense of doubt she felt with each further future moment, she offered Hurley a small smile. It was one of the first times she smiled in months.

T_he airport was far more crowded than Michelle would've liked. She was a very claustrophobic person, and she hated crowds. At the moment a car outside the window of the airport they'd soon be flying out of in Australia was her source for peace. But nearby, a man was shouting, so intense than Michelle herself began to stiffen._

_Something squeezed her hand. Her breathing stopped short, and Michelle didn't loosen in the slightest until she looked up slowly, frightened, and saw that it was only Sebastian. He smiled sympathetically at her, though sympathy was what, deep down, she felt for him. Sebastian had given up his successful business for her, to travel with her cross country, even stepping into LA, a place far too busy for someone as low-key as he was. And she was grateful, especially since there was no real reason why he should still be with her. Care about her. Love her. But he did._

_"It'll be all right," Sebastian said quietly into her ear. He watched the yelling man for a moment, and her heart began racing, because she knew that Sebastian knew how she felt at the moment. "We're getting out of here. Away."_

_Sebastian turned from the man and back to Michelle, letting his smile linger. He wanted so badly to kiss her, to be able to show her how much he cared for her. But now wasn't the time. And he knew very well that there may never be a time again._

"Hey, Hurley!" Someone called, running up to them. "Where the bloody hell is Sayid? I mean, of all times, this is when he runs off? Who does he think he is, anyway?"

"Charlie," Hurley said, putting a hand on his shoulder, "dude, this is Michelle-" he glanced towards Michelle quickly, as if checking to make sure she was still there. And she was, her eyes wondering nervously around the caves, tensing at every movement and word said around her. "Bye."

Hurley ran off before Charlie could protest, leaving him alone with Michelle. A moment went by and Michelle and Charlie just stood around, avoiding each other and the situation. But Charlie's eyes fell on Jack's caves, the opening that seemed to haunt each survivor that walked passed it, and somehow he knew that he had to do this. He was in control. Charlie swallowed and shrugged.

"Let's do this then," he said, offering Michelle a nervous smile.

He made to lead her to the cave, but a frantic call from nearby forced their attention away, and for the first time Michelle looked like she knew she was there.

"Michelle!" A man Charlie didn't recognize called out.

Turning, he saw a man, fairly tall and skinny with glasses propped up firmly on his nose, running towards them. When he reached Michelle he grabbed onto her arm to keep himself from losing balance, and she flinched, staring coldly at him, almost incredulously.

"You don't have to do this," he said in one breath, clutching her arm tightly. Michelle squirmed underneath his grip. Noticing her shift, he looked down to his hand, his eyes darkening when he saw what he was doing. Quickly he let go of Michelle, looking away briefly before continuing. "You've never even been up here before..no one's asking you to do anything. You don't need to help!"

A sudden range overcame Michelle, and a hidden anger buried somewhere within her burst out, attracting the attention of quite a few cave residence.

"We're aren't the only ones on this island!" She cried out in a hushed voice. It seemed that she was uncapable to shout. "Maybe I want to help out, would that be wrong?"

"No!" Sebastian exclaimed quickly. "Is just that-"

"And I don't need you or anyone else telling me when I should do so!" Michelle blurted out. This time Sebastian didn't interrupt, instead he sank back a little, looking slightly hurt. "So just leave me alone-" she let out a frustrating cry, closing her eyes tightly to try and hold back tears. The caves were silent now; everyone was watching the two argue. "Please..just go away."

She didn't know where all of this was coming from. As the crowd continued to stare at either of them, Michelle regretted everything she said, but she didn't have the energy to apologize after the outburst. The words formed in her head, but when she opened her mouth, nothing came out. Sebastian stood across from her, clearly hurt and offended by her exclamation, but at the same time obviously holding back his emotions. Like Michelle, Sebastian wasn't used to being around so many people at once on the island, and he didn't want to give off a bad impression. But also like Michelle, Sebastian had also become a pro at hiding.

He held Michelle's stare to avoid facing everyone else, but at last he forced himself to look away. Without a word he turned, leaving the caves and ignoring the eyes that followed. Michelle turned to the ground, embarrassed and ashamed. Finally she was saved when Charlie cleared his throat, both out of sympathy and impatience.

"We should probably-"

"Yeah," Michelle finished for him in a whisper.

As she followed Charlie to Jack's cave she felt more regret than ever for sending Sebastian away. Not only were the things she said uncallfor and all in all untrue, but for the first time in literally months, she was alone.

"This is Jack," Charlie introduced, cutting into her thoughts. He pointed to a a figure of a man sitting against the wall, staring at the ground. A cold shiver came over Michelle, and suddenly she began feeling sick. None of them would ever know how close to home this situation was. A woman set beside the man, resting her head on his shoulder. "And that's Kate."

Michelle studied the two carefully, crossing her arms. They just looked so..not there. She swallowed.

"So do you want me to..uh.." Charlie waved towards the door, but Michelle shook her head. Bending down, she took Jack's wrist in her hand, holding it carefully. The skin was rough and bruised, scarred with dozens of tiny cuts. It had to be hurting him, but yet Jack didn't even flinch when she brushed her finger against it. "Can you find me something to clean this off with?" She glanced back briefly towards the medical cart. "Maybe some water or peroxide?"

"Yeah," Charlie said and tossed her a spare bottle of water Jack had sitting on the cart.

Gently Michelle took Jack's wrist and examined the wounds she noticed before. Tiny cuts were scattered across bruised skin. She soaked a cloth carefully with water and placed it on Jack's wrist, watching for a reaction. Nothing. Charlie appeared beside her, kneeling down.

"Here's your peroxide," he said quietly, handing the bottle to her.

She switched ends of the towel and prepared to clean the cuts. The room grew steadily quiet, as if it were a mutual decision to respect of space. Charlie watched as she cleaned Jack's cuts one by one, and each time Jack never moved a muscle. As she cleaned them, she pondered the fact that Kate seemed to be unharmed.

"Okay," she said, finishing with the cuts. Michelle closed the bottle of peroxide and sat it down along with the towel. Standing up, she placed her hands on her hips. "There doesn't appear to be any bleeding. He looks okay."

"Yeah, but look at him!" Charlie cried.

"I know!" Michelle said, feeling herself growing slightly anxious. "I'll help him."

"Yeah," Charlie muttered bitterly.

He watched her as she squatted down again, this time closer to Kate.

"You're talking to Kate?" Charlie said, puzzled. "Why?"

Michelle looked up to him.

"Why did you talk to Jack?"

Charlie didn't respond. Michelle turned back to Kate.

"You don't know me," she began, "but I'm a psychologist-" Michelle decided not to go into much detail- "Kate, what you're going through happens a lot, but you have to understand that whatever happened wasn't your fault-" she swallowed hard, almost tearing up because of how hypocritical she was being, "and I've been there before..and..don't do this to yourself. Things will get better. You have Jack, and I think you two really need each other right now. But a girl it missing, and your the only one that can help find her. So please, please..if there's anything you know..I promise you you'll be okay."

She looked at Kate a moment longer before looking down, resting her arms on her knees. The pause lingered on, and Michelle was beginning to understand Charlie's frustration. But as a student of psychology Michelle knew certain task required a good deal of patience. And once again she was being hypocritical of herself.

"There was a crash."

Michelle looked up, and Charlie stepped closer. Kate's voice was small, hardly a whisper, and spoke to the ground, but she was speaking, nonetheless. She was staring at the ground with a hard, but still slightly distant, stare.

"There was a crash, and Jack..Jack.." Kate began tearing up, and soon she was sobbing. Tears rushed madly down her face, relieving themselves of the wall that constantly pushed them back.

Michelle leaned forward cautiously and took Kate in her arms.

"It's okay," she told Kate quietly, "your okay."

Without letting go of Kate, Michelle looked up to Charlie, who looked at loss for words.

"Who else was in here earlier besides Sayid?" She asked him.

As she spoke, Kate still sobbed into her shoulder.

"Sun," Charlie replied.

"Go get her," Michelle told him.

Charlie ran off without question and returned only moments later with Sun. At the sight of Kate in Michelle's arms, Sun looked relieved.

"Is she all right?" Sun asked her.

"Yeah," Michelle said. She began to get to her feet. "She's fine."

"Where're you going?" Charlie demanded as she slowly let Kate go. Sun was quick to replace Michelle, and watched her as well as she stalked out of the caves, not bothering to reply.

_"Turkey or beef?"_

_Michelle didn't reply. Beside her, Sebastian was asleep, and she didn't feel like waking him up. She herself wasn't hungry._

_"Come on, hun, I don't have all day."_

_The flight attendant was American, a woman of about forty who looked ready for her third pack of smokes of the day._

_"I'm not hungry," Michelle heard herself say softly._

_She never took her eyes off the clouds outside the window._

_"Your loss," the attendant said and wheeled away with the cart._

_Just as the food was taken away Michelle heard her stomach growl. Sighing, Michelle continued staring out the window, trying to get her mind off of food._

_"Excuse me, Miss?"_

_Michelle forced herself to turn to the new voice: an older man who was bald. He was stretching towards the floor, but seemed incapable of being able to reach what he wanted to get._

_"I'm sorry, but would you mind getting that book for me?" He asked her, sounding and looking horrifically embarrassed._

_She heard a few smirks from behind her, and a few people turned away, disgusted. It wasn't hard to agree with them, after all, the book wasn't out of reach for any of them. Nevertheless, Michelle bent down and picked up the book. As she handed it off to the man she caught a glimpse at one of the four titles on the cover: "The Langoliers". The man smiled, took the book, and thanked her, but Michelle was already on her way back into her distant mind, staring out the window once more as Sebastian continued to snooze next to her._

The caves were silent, almost eerily silent. She was sure if she stepped outside that everyone would be gone, but she didn't have the mental or physical strength to do so. Jack's permeant exhaust was rubbing off on her, and as Kate rested her head against the cave wall, holding her hands against it for support, she was grateful for the moment of peace.

She felt so embarrassed, and that was just the beginning of it. Jack was still trapped in this..moment..this horrific moment that she knew would never leave either of them. Tears began to form in her eyes once more and Kate swatted at them, sniffling in desperate attempts to keep her away.

"Knock knock."

Kate smiled slightly to herself.

"Sawyer," she said under her breath, pushing herself off the wall a little.

"Heard you decided to speak again," Sawyer said with a grin, "thought I'd come by to pack up the streamers."

"Cute," Kate said, wincing at the sound of her own voice.

Her tone was raspy, and it hurt to even form words.

"So how's Jacko?" Sawyer was obviously trying to bring a sense of humor into the situation. Kate didn't mind it, but she couldn't decide if she wanted to be alone or not right now.

"How does he look?" Kate said sadly, pointing to Jack.

"Yeah, well if he finds out you're awake, he'll be up," Sawyer said.

Hearing Sawyer being reassuring made Kate think even more about how serious the situation was- and how real.

"Do you think he could hear us?" Kate asked him quietly.

Sawyer paused in hesitation before replying, as if contemplating his answer.

"Yeah," he answered at last, his sarcasm gone, "he knows you're here."

He watched Kate as she studied Jack and then bent down. Trembling, Kate stuck her hand out, and Sawyer watched as it inched towards Jack's face before pulling away slightly. Kate looked down. She didn't want to be hurt. Behind her, Sawyer cleared his throat.

"I've got to go," he said, "Rebecca.."

Sawyer trailed off. It was hard to believe that it was only this morning Rebecca had her heart attack, or whatever it turned out to be.

"Yeah," Kate said quietly.

When Sawyer was gone Kate sank to the ground beside Jack, looking at him desperately. She didn't want him back just for himself, she needed him, and Kate didn't care how selfish that sounded. Kate had grown so used to having somewhere there for her that she felt this almost as betrayal. A betrayal that was taking so much out of her that she wasn't sure she'd ever recover. All of this thinking came in waves, rushing in so quickly that the results of her restless evening began taking its toll along with it, forcing her eyes shut and luring Kate into a haunting sleep.

_When I was just a little girl _

_I asked my mother what will I be _

It was getting dark now. The beach was only lighted by a distant sunray far off the horizon, stretching far into another world. As the castaway prepared for another night on the island, Sebastian sat alone on the shore with his knees drawn up, staring out to sea. Michelle swallowed hard before approaching him.

"Hey," she said softly, standing beside him.

_Will I be pretty _

_Will I be rich _

"Hey," he replied, almost snorting the greeting.

Closing her eyes, Michelle knew that this would be as hard as she feared it being.

"I'm sorry," she said as tears began to form, "I..I just wanted to help them. I've been there."

"I know," Sebastian said quietly, coldly.

Michelle winced at his tone. When he didn't say anymore she slowly lowered herself to the ground, sitting in the sand beside her. Following his gaze into the darkening skies surrounding them, Michelle took in the beauty of the scenery. She had never noticed it before, even with the countless days she spent starring into it.

"It's a nice night," Michelle compliment, turning her lips up in the smallest, half-smile.

Hopeful, she turned to Sebastian, but he just continued to stare in front of him. Michelle sighed, and turned back out to the sea. She wasn't used to arguing with her husband. In fact, this was the most they talked in months, but she didn't like it. And she hoped things would get better. Soon.

_Here's what she said to me_

Danielle sat alone on the beach, her rifle beside her. After spending so much time at this camp she let up a little on the self-protection, but now she felt that she needed it again. Her daughter was missing for the second time in her life.

"I'm sorry we couldn't find a trail," Locke said, approaching her from behind.

"Don't be."

After hours of searching they had found nothing. Not one trail, not even one footprint that could lead to her daughter's whereabouts. It was as if though her presence had been completely disposed. But why would that be? Danielle didn't know what to think. She didn't want her daughter to be gone, but they hadn't found a trace of her. Danielle felt so lost that her emotions seemed to be gone after their swift build-up.

"Will find her," Locke promised.

And just like that, the emotions returned.

"Don't lie to me."

She looked up at Locke, meeting eyes with him. Danielle remembered trying to ask Locke about his past, questioning his knowledge of parenthood, only to receive a laugh and topic change. Now she was beginning to wonder just how much they were alike.

_Que sera sera_

_Whatever will be, will be_

_The future's not ours to see_

_Que sera sera_

The jungle smelled thick of lifeless territory, though the dirt that flew into Boone's face as he forced the shovel further and further into the ground seemed to shout at him, accusing him of things Boone refused to believe. Yet at the same time, he had always thought these very same things.

_When I was just a child in school _

_I asked my teacher what should I try _

He stopped, pausing to rest his head against the wood of the shovel as Sayid continued to dig furiously beside him, grunting in pain, exhaust, frustration, and anger with each dig. They agreed that Shannon should have a public burial, but Boone secretly felt that it Shannon herself would want differently. Or at least he did. But at least they were digging the grave; the two men that loved her. Two of the only people that loved her. And Boone couldn't help but to think that he was part of the blame for that. He drove her father away, after all.

_Should I paint pictures _

_Should I sing songs _

And now even on the island, Boone left Shannon alone to go help out Locke, making himself a practical disciple of the place. If only he pulled himself away earlier he could've been there for Shannon. Then again, pulling himself away caused her death to begin with.

"Do you think Locke will come to the funeral?" Boone asked Sayid.

"I doubt it."

He didn't know why he asked Sayid, or why he was wondering this anyway. What did Locke care about Shannon? He was the one who told him not to tell her about the hatch in the first place. But still, Boone felt some kind of connection with Locke, even through his anger. Locke had become almost like the father he never had, giving him numerous second chances he never deserved and giving Boone his trust.

_Here was her wise reply_

"He'll be helping Danielle look for Alex."

Boone looked at Sayid, meeting eyes with him before turning back away.

_Que sera sera_

_Whatever will be will be_

_The future's not ours to see_

_Que sera sera_

Sawyer found Rebecca back at their campsite, reading a book: _The Langoliers_. He tensed up for a moment, though he wasn't quite sure why. He remembered the book was important, but it was like trying to remember where you've heard a certain song before.

_When I grew up and fell in love_

_I asked my lover what lies ahead_

"Is Jack okay?" Rebecca asked, putting the book down.

She looked up at him, watching as he sat down and face contorting in confusion as he pulled her closer to him, kissing her. Rebecca kissed him back, letting him linger on before breaking away.

"What was that for?" She asked him.

"Don't talk," he whispered, pulling her back towards him, placing his lips on hers for a second kiss.

_Will there be rainbows, day after day?_

But once again, Rebecca puled away.

"How's Jack?" She asked again.

Sawyer sighed incredulously.

"He just has to ruin everything, doesn't he?"

Rebecca's eyes narrowed, and he sighed again.

"Jack'll be fine," he assured.

"Good," Rebecca said happily and finally leaned forward again to kiss him. "You should care more, you know."

"If you knew me a few months ago you'd say I cared too much," Sawyer said in between breaths of air.

_Here's what he said to me_

When Rebecca didn't reply, he wrapped his arms around her, deeping the kiss even further.

_Que Sera Sera_

_Whatever will be, will be_

_The future's not ours to see_

_Que Sera Sera_

_Flames danced around him as he walked through the wreckage, feeling as though he were in a dream. Everything happened so fast that he wasn't even sure what happened. The last thing he could remember was buckling his seatbelt before the plane started going down. And then this. People were still screaming, but their cries for help seemed distant. The whole experience seemed surreal._

_Que sera sera_

_Whatever will be, will be_

He couldn't tell where he was as his eyes slowly opened, his head lifting up heavily from where it was drooped to the side. Everything was still dark, even though darkness itself was gone. He was breathing heavily, but from what he could tell so was someone else. Looking to the side, Jack saw that Kate was sleeping next to him, resting peacefully though he knew her dreams were anything but. Carefully he placed his arm around her, and when he looked down, the hard ground told him where they were. They were at the caves. Back home.

_The future's not ours to see_

_Que sera sera_

**Author's Note:** First of all, I apologize greatly for the long wait on this chapter. These past two chapters have been some of the toughest to write characterize, because I'm always worried that people our out of character. Luckily though, I think that's understandable for situations such as these. The next chapter or so will be dark, but never fear, there is fluff ahead. And yes, even for Jack and Kate. I admit I didn't consider all the hidden meanings "Que Sera Sera" had in this fic, but cyber-cookies for anyone who caught them..and for anyone who can remember the significance of The Langoliers. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, and once again, I apologize for the wait. You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

Boone's not the only one in denial of death as Jack awakes, but a brutal sense of reality will mean some major decision- and scenery- changes for the castaways. Sounds fun, huh? Hehe, well, I hope you'll like what I have planned. Or maybe that 'hehe' should be 'muhaha'..o.O

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	28. Sides

In the End Chapter

Chapter Twenty-Eight

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: **Sides

"Kate?"

Kate jerked awake at her name with a once forbidden hope escaping from her. The fear that Jack may be gone forever was an experience she had suffered through once too many times on the island, and even when he wasn't really away from her, that same fear still remained. Even when Jack's eyes were wide open, and Kate could've sworn she felt his shivers next to her, she felt as though he was miles away. Miles away in a horrific land of demons and nightmares, trapped in a maze of past and trauma. And when she looked over to him at that moment, taking in the fact that he was there now- really there- she could see that all of her fears were true. Unshed tears formed built a wall in Jack's eyes, threatening to release the pain of the horrific images they had eacheach experienced and rexperienced.

"I'm sorry.." Jack whispered before she got a chance to say anything.

For a moment Kate stared at him, unable to believe what Jack was trying to say

"No," she said, unable to bring her voice above a whisper. She inched closer to him, and soon found her hand cupped on his face. "Don't be sorry. Don't ever be sorry."

Her hand slowly wrapped around his neck, pulling Jack into a hug, holding him tightly, feeling like she never wanted to let go. The longer the hug lingered, the tighter they held each other, and the more tears were shed. She heard Jack let out a sniffle, and Kate knew he was trying to be strong for her. It made her smile a little, knowing that when even in the darkest of pains, Jack was still thinking of her.

At last she felt Jack slip silently away, and Kate feared that maybe she was suffocating him. Letting out a single sob, Kate rested her head against Jack shoulder and he held her there, looking away above her. It pained her to know that under any other circumstances, Jack would be closing his eyes, resting himself against her as well. Instead he just looked away, away from her.

"You tried," Kate whispered. She swallowed hard in attempts to speak up. "You tried to save her Jack, you have to give yourself credit for that."

"No," Jack said, shaking his head. Kate closed her eyes. She knew this was coming. The denial. Jack's famous denial. "No."

Holding onto the wall for support, Jack lifted himself off the ground. Kate watched below with worry.

"Jack?" She asked tentivley, reaching up to him with a hand.

Jack batted it away.

"Jack!" Kate called desperately again, watching in intense horror as Jack ignored his pain, though wincing harshly at it, determined to get out the door.

"We thought Sayid was dead," Jack finally said, collapsing into a resting position against the wall.

Kate stood up slowly, watching him carefully. Jack was resting his head against his arm, pure exhaustion dripping in sweat down his pale face, He was in no condition to stand, let alone go anywhere. And that was just from physical pain. The things Jack must've been facing mentally..Kate shivered. She didn't want to think about it.

"What are you talking about?" She asked at last.

"We thought he was dead that time.." Jack trailed off, having to choke out his words, "the monster got him..but he wasn't. He was fine. He was-"

Suddenly Kate realized what this was about, and closed her eyes. She hated seeing Jack like this. It pained her, knowing what he was going through and knowing how possibly long it'd last.

"Jack.." Kate searched for the words to say to him, words to make him stay, to make him believe..it wasn't his fault. "Alex is gone. I'm sorry."

Shaking his head, Jack looked towards the doorway again, determination resurfacing.

"No," Jack said, pushing himself off the wall, "no, she's not."

Almost drunkenly he stormed off, racing out of the caves with Kate chasing behind him. People watched, stunned at Jack's sudden presence, but only Charlie approached.

"I've got him," Kate said to Charlie, and ran after Jack, who was already almost out of site, camouflaging himself with the rest of the jungle: tired, and dead at its feet.

(space)

"Mornin', Starshine," Sawyer said cheerfully.

Rebecca muttered something in protest, but Sawyer only smirked, bending down over her. He was up a good hour or two while she still snored away, so he decided to take it upon himself to find something to eat.

"I've got bananas and mangos," Sawyer said, holding out the fruit, "take your pick."

Reaching towards the fruit, Rebecca grabbed immediately for the banana, snatching it out of Sawyer's head and cuddling it for protection from where she still rest. Sawyer scrawled.

"You did that on purpose."

From where she lay in the sand, Rebecca smiled. Scrawl still on his face, Sawyer threw himself down into the airplane recliner he managed to save over all these months. Looking down at Rebecca, he considered offering her the seat, but she did look comfortable on the ground...and he didn't feel like moving.

Peeling open the mango, Sawyer picked up his latest novel, _War of the Worlds_ by H.G. Wells. After reading a few sentences he grew frustrated at the old fashioned writing style, and threw the book aside. Out of pure boredom he peeled off his shirt, decided to make good use of the bright sun.

"You're going to get burned," Rebecca murmured on the ground before the shirt was even off his arm.

He looked at her, incredulous."What, you got x-ray vision now?" He smirked.

Rebecca grunted. Whether she was agreeing or disagreeing, he couldn't tell.

"Hey," a slightly nervous voice greeted.

Glancing over, Sawyer saw that it was Claire, holding Aaron in her arms. The baby was unusually quiet, especially since they were close to the ocean's crashing waves.

"Rebecca, right?"

In surprise at hearing her name, Rebecca rolled over and sat up, pushing her blanket over her shoulders, shivering. Despite the cold, she still slept in tank tops.

"Yeah," Rebecca said, echoing Claire's nerves.

Hearing it didn't have anything to do with him- probably woman stuff, he figured- Sawyer closed his eyes, and let the sun's rays put him to sleep.

"Do you know anything about babies?" Claire asked.

Worry was written all over her face, and Claire stood up to face her.

"Depends," Rebecca said, "what's wrong?"

"He has this cut, here on his hand," Claire explained, holding out Aaron's hand to her. She was right. Across his tiny thumb there was a cut, a pretty thick one for a baby, at that. "I was worried..I wasn't sure what to put on it-" below them, Sawyer snorted.

Rebecca glared, though she should've known Sawyer wouldn't of thought heavily of the situation. A med student could've taken an exam off of all the injuries Sawyer had in his life.

"Did you go to Jack?" Rebecca said immediately, without thought.

"I didn't want to bother him," Claire admitted, "Charlie's gone up there to look for some cream, but I'm just worried. I don't even know what he's allergic to."

A guilty look of realization came over Claire, and Rebecca felt sympathy towards her. Her baby may never have a normal life, and they may never even know if he was healthy or not. Feeling the need to reassure her, Rebecca reached out with her hand, placing it on Claire's arm. She originally reached for Aaron's head, but remembering overprotective mother's she'd seen before, she quickly changed her mind.

"I'm sure he's okay," she said reassuringly.

Claire didn't even bother to try and smile, and Rebecca couldn't blame her. An awkward moment passed between them. To try and break the ice, Claire glanced towards Sawyer.

"Won't he get burned?" Claire said in concern.Rebecca rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry, he knows," she told her.

Sun walked out of the jungle just then, and Rebecca could vaguely remember Sun being one of the ones helping her yesterday. But Claire spotted her soon after, thinking along the same lines. Quickly she turned to Rebecca.

"Thanks," she said hurriedly before rushing off to catch up with Sun.

Rebecca shook her head, not helping but to smile, and looked down at Sawyer, rolling her eyes.

(space)

The hatch seemed darker, colder, and damper than ever before, but Boone hardly noticed. He was sitting in the computer chair, propped against the wall, staring at the virus that sat forgotten inside the computer screen. At this rate, it probably already ate the hardrive, which most likely held the program that controlled it.

After what felt like a lifetime he and Sayid had dug the hole for Shannon's burial. The tension and awkwardness had only grown stronger between them during the process, so afterwards Boone had immediately dashed towards..anywhere. It was all so overwhelming that he wasn't sure what to do. Should he of stayed with Sayid? Should he of stayed with Shannon's body? Should he cry? Boone blinked. The third seemed like the most welcoming, but Boone was determined to get through this without a breakdown. That was the last thing he needed.

"Hello." Boone groaned under his breath as Locke stepped into the main room of the hatch. He really just wanted to be alone. That way, if he did break down.. "Nice to see you down here again."

Boone could've hit him, but he held back, after all, Locke didn't know. But Locke quickly noticed Boone's odd behavior and sickly apperance, and his humorous demeanor disappeared.

"What's wrong?" Locke asked, concerned.

He didn't want to have to say it. Every time he said it it just made him feel sicker, angrier. But nevertheless, Boone heard himself whisper:

"Shannon's dead."

Locke stopped, staring in surprise at Boone. Boone kept his focus tightly on the computer screen, finding it more and more difficult to hold back tears. He was beginning to feel a sinking feeling, like he was dying himself.

"I'm sorry," Locke said at last.

Boone closed his eyes at the sympathy. The worst part was that he knew he'd be getting it for years to come, especially since they were one of the only families of the island. If you could call them a family.

"You don't have to be down here," Locke offered sympathetically.

Somewhere in the distant, the buzz of a fan rang in his ears, and he could still detect the hum of the computer's modem in the silence that followed Locke's proposal. He opened his eyes, and it was almost as he had never closed them. Everything was still the same.

"Where else would I go?" Boone blurted out quietly.Locke studied Boone for a moment before sitting his bag down on a table by the computer.

"How's Sayid taking it?"

"I don't know," Boone replied honestly.

Sayid was being even more complicated about his emotions than Boone was. Hardly speaking a word, Sayid starred determinedly towards the ground as he dug at it harshly, while Boone remained more aware and blank.

The thump of feet hitting the ground told them that someone else had climb down the later, and while Locke awaited their visitor, alert, Boone, careless, held his gaze at the computer screen. Tiny red and white dots were forming in front of his eyes, making him feel dizzy, and making his eyes water even more.

"Speak of the devil," Locke greeted lightly as Sayid entered the room.

Sayid clearly didn't expect anyone else to be in the room. He stopped immediately at Locke's comment, glancing from Locke to where Boone sat on the far side of the room.

"Actually, I left something at the caves," Sayid liked dryly.

It was the closest to embarrassed Boone had ever seen Sayid. Embarrassed and nervous. Maybe he had come down here for the same reason as Boone- to be alone. Not only that, but really, the hatch was the only place where he felt like he belonged. Even now, after living literally months on the island, he still got glances wherever he went, and not those of the good kind.

Without meaning it to be heard, Boone snorted. Sayid's eyes narrowed, and even Locke turned his way. Boone wasn't even sure why he snorted. It just felt like the right thing to do, because Sayid was making it more and more obvious that he was still in denial. Or at least, that's what it seemed like to Boone.

"Boone.." Locke began, stepping between them as if worried one of them would charge.

"I'm going to the caves," Boone said, jerking himself out of the chair.

He made a violent grab for his bag and slung it over his shoulders as he exited the room, shoving passed Sayid to leave.

(space)

"Jack!" Kate called, struggling to keep up with Jack, who seemed to of developed a new strength after emerging from his shock. "Jack!"

Up ahead, Jack could hear Kate's cries but ignored them as he hurried on. He knew he was growing nearer and neraer to the scene of the crime, and he could just feel it. He'd be able to see Alex again. She'd be alive. Soon the trees began to part, and Jack smiled half-heartily to himself. Kate was wrong. The monster played this game before.

And there she was. Jack stopped at the familiar clearing, and sure enough, Alex was laying there on the ground, just waiting for him to come save her.

"Jack?" Kate asked from behind him.

Jack ignored her as he inched forward, trying to keep his mind off the blood that covered the ground by repeating medical steps in his head.

On the ground, just a foot from him lay Alex. She was torn up- literally cut up. Dried blood clogged in blotches on her chest, seeping through her shirt. Her jeans were shredded with blood seeping down her legs. Shoes still remained on her feet, but her ankle was twisted at an angel that made Jack wince. Kate watched with uncertainty and concern as he knelt before Alex, wanting to stop him but not having the heart to do so.

His knee hit the ground with an echoing thud, and Jack spent a moment studying the body that lay before him. Alex was beautiful, there was no doubt about that, even covered in injuries. injuries that would scar her for life- mentally and physically. Jack didn't want to know what she went through those hours he was gone, and when she awoke, Jack decided he wouldn't ask. At last he held his breath, and checked for a pulse. Closing his eyes, Jack placed two fingers against Alex's swollen neck, covering with injuries that remained from traumas far before the monster attack. Jack closed his eyes tighter, forcing the thought from his mind to concentrate on finding a pulse. After what felt like hours, ages, lifetimes, there was a small beat. Letting out a laugh, a smile escaped his lips, and he heard Kate fell to the ground behind him.

"You've got to be kidding me," she said, though with obvious joy.

"Yes," Jack muttered to himself, "yes, yes, yes.."

Suddenly Alex coughed. There were only a few things in his life that were so beautiful..sounds that were like a swift orchestra, those songs you just wanted to hear over and over again. That cough quickly became one of them. Tears of joy formed in Jack's eyes, and he couldn't stop them from falling as he placed his hand over the blood on Alex's face, caressing it carefully.

"It's okay," he whispered, "you're okay..you're okay."

It is okay, Jack told himself, you're okay..

No longer would he have to feel the guilt of Alex's death. He wouldn't even have to tell Danielle because, well, she wasn't dead! She was alive, alive..

"Jack?" Alex croaked, struggling to open her eyes.

"Be still," Jack told her, placing his hand gently on her forehead. She was burning up.

He looked to his side in habit for his bag, and cursed when he realized he didn't bring it. For a moment he panicked. This wasn't happening. If she died now..like this..it'd be all his fault. Because he wasn't prepared. Good thing he never signed up for the scouts.

Calm down, he told himself, calm..

Jack closed his eyes, trying to block out the thousands of medical procedures that were coming back to haunt him, his father looming over his shoulder..he felt his breathing grow rapid, and suddenly, Kate's hand on his back. A much needed ease came over him, and Jack took a deep breath. But Kate seem to read his mind. She was close to him now, whispering into his ear:

"One..two..three..four.." there was a short pause before the final number, the number which would bring them back to reality. The number that would send Jack on his mission, the mission that would make him or break him.. "five."

His eyes snapped open, and his head immediately turned to Kate. She offered him a smile, and Jack accepted it, though he couldn't return it. Reality was indeed back, and Alex was laying here in front of him, wheezing, gasping for air.

"Calm down," he said, "you're gonna be fine."Reaching down, Jack made to rip off a part of his shirt, but he felt something cold and clammy clamp down on his hand. He scrunched up his face in confusion, and almost hurt, when he looked down to see Alex's hand on his. It was scared like the rest of her body, decorated in cuts and bruised. The bone stuck out especially, and Jack felt like he was going to be sick.

"Don't," she whispered.

Alex looked at him. Through the blood that covered her eye, tinting the stories it held, shielding him from what lay behind. But still he knew those stories. He felt like he had known her forever. And hearing that word, the protest at his attempts to save her..a part of him felt like it died. He had always naturally cared for all of his patients, and originally, that's what Alex was: just another patient.

_"I remember not being on a plane."_

Jack remembered thinking of Alex as a younger version of Kate, and wondering if maybe that was why he cared about her so much. Like he knew he had to save her, because now he knew what could happen if he didn't. Now as Alex looked at him with pleading eyes, Jack felt the world slowly begin to crash down on him again.

"You can't save me," Alex whispered weakly.

"No," Jack said, shaking his head. This wasn't happening. Ignoring Alex's protest, he began ripping the fabric off his shirt. "No..no.."

"Jack.." a groan escaped Alex, and her words became less audible.

"No," Jack said in a serious, finalizing voice of a father arguing his daughter's point, "I'm going to save you."

"Jack."

She was crying now, taking away her strength. Dried tears of blood streamed down her cheeks, and Jack wished he was able to wipe them away, but he knew he had to concentrate on trying to save her. Beside him, Kate looked away, and Jack knew she was crying as well. They all were. There were so many people he wanted to comfort at once, and Jack was shivering in fear. It was all on him now.

"Please.." Alex begged, "I just want to be with him."

"Him?" Jack said to himself.

And then he realized. Adam. Alex's dead boyfriend. The boy who waited for her on the other side, the one who was probably talking to her right now, whispering to her. He was telling her it would be okay. Don't be afraid.

Don't be afraid.

Alex had always been close to death, Jack knew that, but she had never experience it personally. But he didn't get it. She could talk with the dead. Why not just communicate that way? It'd almost be the same..

"I want to be with him.." Alex murmured, choking back on tears. Jack knew her lounges were probably failing her now, it'd hurt to talk. "Adam.."

Jack shivered at the word, and at that moment, even Jack could feel It. The It that was the unknown, that contained the unknown. It.

"Alex, I can save you," he said, he breathed in deeply, at attempts to stop the tears that had yet to run down his cheeks, but were threatening to. Not now. No. It wasn't over. It wasn't over..what an oxymoron. "You don't have to-"

"Why don't you want me to be happy?" Alex whispered.

He heard Kate choke back a sob beside him.

"Happy?" Jack whispered. "You..you.."

He almost felt like yelling at her. Happy? But..wasn't she happy there, with him and her mom? She pretty much had a family. People loved her. But then again, so did Adam..

"Goodbye, Jack."

Jack's attention was jerked towards Alex again. Her face was paling quickly, her breathing grew slower, raspy. Her body was breaking down.

"No!" He cried out, giving Alex a hard shake though he knew it'd hurt her. He couldn't lose her, not again. He wasn't going to go through that again. He couldn't do it. Life without her being there..Kate was right, Alex was like a daughter to him. "No, Alex!"

Alex's flow of tears slowed as Jack's slowly began. Her hand began slipping from his. Her head fell to the side, looking at him..past him. Adam would be standing there, he thought, and maybe even his own father. He'd be laughing. Mocking. He was failing..he didn't want her to die. But as she lay there, body slowing, mind becoming cloudy, he knew what she was doing.

In his thoughts, Jack didn't hear Alex whisper final words. All he saw was her head roll to the other side, away from him. It was almost like a favor for him, and he could've sworn he heard her voice. Not a whisper, but a clear voice in his head- it's not your fault. But somehow, he knew that wasn't what she whispered.

"What did she say?" Jack asked urgently to Kate, who was collapsed beside him. She had stopped crying, and was now just staring in shock at Alex's body. "What did she say?"

"She said..never say goodbye," Kate whispered in disbelief.

They looked at each other. Jack didn't want to break that gaze, to look away from Kate. Because then he'd have to face her..Alex..the girl who was like a daughter to him. The girl who left him, just like everyone else. Tears finally unleashed themselves, breaking away from the bars that always seemed to cover Jack's eyes, dripping down his cheeks, landing in puddles on the hairs of his neck and chin. Kate had begun silently crying as well. She reached out for him, and Jack didn't protest the hug. Instead he hid his face into her shoulder, listening to her whispers:

"It wasn't your fault."

Jack shivered. It sounded just like the voice he heard in his head. Then again, Alex had always reminded him of Kate.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, holding him tighter as she cried in to his shoulder, sharing the same tears of grief, though hers weren't for the care, the depth, the failure that his were. Not for Alex, anyway. "I'm sorry."

Suddenly Jack broke away. He didn't want to be here. Someday he'd give anything to go back to that place, to feel closer to Alex, but not now. He wanted to run. And Kate was a master at that, right?

"Let's not go back so soon," Kate said quietly.

Jack shook his head.

"Jack, please-"

Jack absentmindly kept shaking his head as he lowered a trembling hand down to Alex's forehead. He had seen pleanty of dead bodies in his life time, but he was hardly ever close to them. He didn't know them personally. He just wanted to save them, and all of those people had something in common: he couldn't save them. And he wasn't going to let that happen again. Making up his mind, Jack bent forward a little, prepping himself for CPR, the steps rolling like a film through his mind though he had done the process countless times.

"Jack-"

He ignored her. Head hovering carefully close to Alex's neck, Jack listened again for a pulse. Still there was none. But that would change, he thought, it just had to. As he tilted Alex's head back slightly and opened his mouth, a dry sick sensation burst out, followed by a wave of dizziness at Kate's words:

"She's not coming back.

There was the dejavu again. Determined, Jack ignored it. Surely he could save her. He was the miracle doctor, after all..

The CPR process started. He remembered trying to save Charlie, and succeding. With that thought, what Kate was still saying never crossed his mind. Because he didn't want to believe it. He couldn't.

"She wanted to die, Jack," Kate said, leaning in close towards him as Jack came up after the first attempt at reviving Alex failed. "She's not coming back."

Hard but true the words hit, and though Jack tried, he found himself unable to contiue the CPR. Alex did want to die. She wouldn't come back. She was dead. But how come Jack still felt like it was his fault? Slowly he pushed away from Alex, the sickning feeling returned numbly, like his body couldn't decide how it felt. But in his mind, he knew.

Gently he brushed his thumb against some already drying blood on Alex's forehead, and made up his mind.

"We need to clean the body," he said calmly, determined to take things slowly, because he knew if he didn't, the blur it would pass in would be too overwhelming.

"What?" Kate asked, looking at him.

Jack stared sadly at Alex's body. The imense pressure from having to deal with yet another close death was beginning to hit him, and all Jack wanted to do was to be able to get through it.

"No one needs to see her like this," he finished.

He looked at her, meeting eyes with Kate until she nodded.

"Okay," she agreed, "I'll go get some cloth from the caves and-"

"No," Jack interrupted immediatly, already placing a foot on the ground to stand, "I'll go."

This was something he felt he needed to do on his own, like he owed it to Alex. For his failure.

Kate stared at him for a long moment before making up her mind:

"I'll go with you."

When Jack shook his head in protest again, Kate studied him, puzzled and worried. Jack looked at her.

"Someone needs to stay here..with her."

Jack swallowed. Suddenly things were starting to speed up again. Just having to acknowledge that she wasn't really here..Jack hated it.

A hand fell on his shoulder and Jack turned to look at it. Of course it was Kate; what had he been expecting? She was still watching him, and suddenly felt very small under her watch. Kate had always feared that she wasn't good enough for him, but now Jack feared the very opposite. He had failed once again, surely she realized that.

"You don't have to go through this alone," she said soflty.

Jack shook his head. Yes he did. Because he felt he was responsible. Because now he had to tell Danielle her daughter was dead. He just sat there and let her die. Finally he stood.

"I'll be back soon."

(space)

Sayid had followed Boone to the caves. Locke didn't know why, as there was an obvious sense of hostility in each of them, but he hadn't interfered. Instead he left as well, heading off to find Danielle. And he did, more quickly than he expected. She was wondering around the jungle, rifle at her side.

"Find what you're looking for?" Locke called out to her.

In a flash the rifle was at his face. When she saw who it was, Danielle lowered the weapon, but no sigh of relief or ease came over her.

"My daughter's missing," she said quietly, "do you know where she is?"

Locke stared at her.

"Danielle..you know I don't," he said carefully, taking a cautious step back.

Danielle returned the glare. She suddenly seemed manic, not herself. Now she was like she was when they found her, alert, nervous..

"Yes you do."

"What?" Locke said, puzzled. Danielle didn't answer. Instead she took off, running.

"Danielle!"

He followed her all the way to the caves, where she stepped in, rifle drawn.

"Don't move!" She ordered to the caves.

"Danielle!" Locke attempted from behind her, but she ignored him.

Everyone in the caves was frozen in place at the butt of the rifle. The only sound was the sound of Aaron's cries, which drew out even the roaring waterfall.

"Where's my daughter?" She demanded, voice speaking loudly, stronger than any of them had heard before. No one answered. "Where's my-"

"Please!" Claire pleaded, clutching Aaron. She nodded down to her child.

_She was running through the jungle, afraid. They were out there somewhere, wild, murderous, and she was alone. Alone with no one but her newborn daughter in her arms. Her Alex._

"Where's-"

"Put the gun down!"

Faces turned towards the new voice, ignoring the armed Danielle. Even Danielle looked. Jack was standing at the mouth of the cave, Kate behind him, looking around nervously. She exchanged sympathetic glances with Claire. Jack looked directly at Danielle, and she knew right then what was coming. She could tell from his struggle for words, his tear-dried face and sympathetic eyes.

"Alex is dead," he said at last.

There was no gasps. No one turned to Danielle, offering her a glance or sympathy. But she wouldn't of noticed. She just stared at Jack, frozen.

"I'm sorry."

No one moved once again. Sayid and Boone stepped into the caves from behind the crowd, but neither said a word. And neither did Danielle. When she felt Locke's hand touch her bare shoulder, she jerked away. That seemed to set her off. She didn't want to face these people right now. They didn't know her. Nothing any of them said or did would make things better. Her daughter was gone from her forever. She tore from the caves, pushing past Locke and leaving the place in more silence. They stared after where she had run for a while before turning to Jack, the man who- a little under an hour ago- none of them could reach. Jack swallowed.

"I'm sorry," he offered again.

Kate placed a hand on his shoulder, and Jack looked down. The caves were quiet for another minute before the hustle and bustle began again. Jack cleared his throat.

"I told you not to follow me," he forced out quietly.

"I-"

But before Kate could make up her excuse, a voice interrupted her.

"Well, well, well."

Jack almost laughed. Hearing Sawyer was almost relieving, a much needed comic relief because Jack knew he'd be ready with some witty line. For the first time, Jack wouldn't' of minded.

"Look who finally came out of hibernation," Sawyer said. He met eyes with Jack, and somehow he knew the comic relief wouldn't come. "Is she really dead?"

Of course. Alex had been friends with Sawyer too. She had been on the raft with them. Four of them had, and they were all gone, leaving only Sawyer..Jack suddenly felt a pang of sympathy towards him.

"Yeah," Jack whispered hesitantly, "I'm sorry."It was all he could say. I'm sorry. He wanted to save her, he tried, but he wasn't able to..and he was sorry.

"Glad your back," Sawyer offered quietly.Sticking out a hand he shook Jack's in a half-hearted handshake, and left him alone with Kate. Jack stared at the ground for a long moment before forcing himself to turn around and face her. She placed an hand on his arm.

"Come on," she said, "let's get some rest."

He knew she was saying that because she didn't know what else to say. He also knew that for a long time, rest wouldn't be what he would get.

Another person appeared before them before Jack got a chance to agree or argue. Sayid. Jack forced himself to look up, to face the man who also lost someone they loved that night. Sayid didn't say anything, but just met eyes with Jack. Boone was watching along with Kate as the two men stared at each other, having a complicated, unspoken conversation. They were each sorry but angry. That was the story. And when they were done Sayid turned, leaving like Danielle had.

Sayd's silence told him all he needed to know. Jack was blamed for this. Of course Kate wouldn't say anything, she wouldn't want to bring that kind of harm on him. But it was true. He could've saved Alex. She had been out of it. She probably wasn't even aware of what she was saying. But instead of helping, he just stood there, letting her slip away. He couldn't get over it.

Then it was just him and Kate. They stood there for a moment in silence before Kate spoke up:

"Let's go," she whispered again.

Looking away, Jack allowed himself to follow Kate to the caves, only to avoid anymore confrontations. The world dissolved around him as they made the long walk to their cave, becoming a swirl of whispers and conversations. Once he stepped into the cave, Jack looked around. It was almost as though he was stepping into the caves for the first time again. He just felt so _different_ now.

Reaching his medical cart, Jack noticed an overturned bottle of peroxide on the ground, and half-heartily picked it up. He sat the bottle onto the cart, and took off some fresh white cloths, the last of his stash. Kate watched him, arms crossed, and when Jack glanced back at her, he couldn't help but to worry.

"Something wrong?" Jack asked.

Stupid question. Kate probably wouldn't even know where to begin that answer.

"Shannon's body.." Kate began, voice shaking a little. She suddenly looked pale, and for the first time, he realized the tole the events must've taken on Kate. He looked away quickly in guilt. "I left her.."

Jack looked back to Kate. She looked as sick as he felt, and Jack studied her sympathetically as he walked over to her. Placing his hands on her shoulders, Jack tried to look her in the eye, but Kate refused.

"Don't blame yourself," Jack pleaded, "please."

At the statement, Kate turned upwards towards him.

"Don't say that," she said quietly, trying to steady her voice, "don't you dare try and..

Despite Kate's protest, Jack wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in towards him, holding her close. He tried to close his eyes but when he tried to still a moment's peace, Jack was only haunted by memories of Alex's dying words, followed by the crash, trying to save Alex the first time..it was as if though his mind was suddenly playing in reverse.

"Sh.." he told her, even though Kate wasn't crying. Not yet, at least. He knew Kate was trying to be strong for him, and he didn't like it. He didn't want her to be that way at a time like this. _He_ should be the one being strong for _her_.

Kate pulled away, shaking her head and wiped away a stray tear before it could fall.

"Sorry," she said, "sorry, I-"

"Don't be," Jack said, echoing Kate's earlier words. He offered her a sad smile which quickly faded. "I should be-"

"Yeah," Kate nodded. They fell quiet for a moment as a long, dreadful pause past by.

"Please," Jack said, closing his eyes but quickly snapping them open again to avoid the horrific images that haunted his mind, "don't follow me."

Kate looked at him sadly.

"Jack-"

"No!" Jack protested. Going back to his medical cart, Jack began stuffing the last of the towels into his bag. "Please, Kate, I need to-"

Kate grabbed his arm; Jack looked at her hand in surprise.

"Don't try and go through this alone," she said in the same pleading voice she used before in the jungle..at the body..

With a shiver Jack forced her hand away and threw his bag over his shoulder.

"Jack!" Kate called after him desperatly, only to be ignored.

Hurting Kate was the last thing he wanted to do, but he didn't want to bring her down with him. He couldn't..these situations were no joke, and the worse part was, Jack knew he had to get through them. In one second thought Jack regretted turning down Kate's offer to help. Over the past few months, Jack had been careless with letting her in, and now he remembered his original reason for shutting the world out, building his own infamous walls: he didn't want to be a failure. But here he was, going back to prepare to bury someone he cared about, yet another loved one who died in his arms. Once again, he wasn't ready to say goodbye, and he didn't want to have to, ever.

**Author's Note:** I hope you guys were satisfied..and I hope I didn't disappoint. Really. Alex's death is necessary for Jack's future decisions and such, as said before. And did Alex's parting words sound out of place to anyone else? Tehehe..you'll see them again. Thanks so much for reviewing! You guys rock..and I hope you stick with me through the end.

**Coming up next, on "In the End":** Funerals all around..(sniffle)

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	29. Before the Road Ahead

In the End

Chapter Twenty-Nine

**Disclaimer: **"Hold On" belongs to Sarah McLachlan.

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: **Before the Road Ahead

Jack found himself holding his breath as he carefully placed the wet cloth against some blood on the side of Alex's face. Maybe, in some crazy way, it made him feel closer to her, knowing he was struggling. Not quite all there. Then he really felt himself beginning to black out, and Jack gasped for air, closing his eyes tightly. Dropping the towel and placing his hands on his knees, Jack tried desperately to pull himself together, knowing soon enough, he'd have to face the others. Not just Kate, either. He opened his eyes, and looked up before looking around the jungle, secretly hoping Kate would stumble through the shrubs in a misstep. But on the surface, he knew that wouldn't happen. For one, Kate was too graceful. But still, he hoped for Kate..the reason he let the breath go.

(space)

"Kate?"

Kate looked up from where she sat in the caves. She had been sitting in the same position the time she thought Sawyer was dead, only a few years ago..

"Yeah?" Kate said innocently, pulling a strand of hair away from her face.

"You okay?" Charlie asked her, offering her a smile as he took a step into the room.

"Yeah," Kate lied, nodding, "I'm fine. Shouldn't you be with Claire?"

"She's asleep," Charlie said sadly, "it just hit her so hard, you know. Personally after that fight with Shannon.."

Charlie trailed off, and Kate managed a snort in attempts to help Charlie lighten the mood. As the joke looped with a pause, Kate looked down to her hands and her feet that were dangling below the cot she sat on. The cave felt so quiet, so vacant without Jack's presence, or awaiting it. She couldn't even be sure if Jack would come back. It scared her. It really did.

"I don't know if I should go after him," Kate admitted quietly.

"Well," said Charlie thoughtfully said he crossed over and sat down carefully next to Kate. He looked at her. "He did say stay."

"Yeah," Kate whispered.

That was the problem. Jack was falling back into his old habits of denying help, and Kate was terrified of his walls rebuilding, placing itself carefully together brick by brick, eventually becoming nothing but an inexistent hollow form.

Charlie acknowledge the worry on Kate's face, and spoke up to offer more:

"But maybe that's what he needs," Charlie said, speaking Kate's thoughts, "you know, kind of like one of those things where the girlfriend says don't by me a present when she really wants one?"

Kate smiled half-heartily, but it quickly disappeared, erasing itself as soon as it became noticed. Charlie's eyes darkened again. Maybe Kate was falling into some old habits of her own.

"Alex and Jack were close," Charlie went on, sounding sincere about what he was saying. Kate was thankful, she wanted an honest opinion. She really didn't want to do the wrong thing right now. "Maybe you should give him some time."

Placing his hands on his knees, Charlie pushed himself off the cot, leaving Kate to consider his opinion. It was true, maybe Jack just needed time was supposed to be on your side, after all. And though it sounded selfish and horrible, maybe not going to him would make Jack desperate enough to run back to her. Or maybe he'd just fall apart, and she wouldn't be there to pick him back up.

"Well I never was much of a cry on your shoulder person," Charlie chimmed, "but I think I did pretty good, if I don't say so myself."

"Yeah," Kate said quickly, almost forgetting to reply, "you did great, thanks."

"No problem," Charlie said, smiling. Kate envied Charlie's ability to smile at times like these. Hurley and Sawyer seemed to posses the same ability, like it was a gift she was left out on, like Santa forgot a stocking. And as a kid, he always did. "But really though, if you need a shoulder to cry on-"

"Thanks," Kate interrupted quickly.

Now she felt the need to be alone, to think things through. What would Jack do in this situation? Kate knew the answer right away: he'd run after her, of course.

"Funeral's, tomorrow, right?" Charlie asked.

The thought of planning some kind of burial hadn't crossed her mind. Where would they hold the ceremony? They had never buried one of their own before. Sawyer buried David somewhere a little ways out, but no one would want to go that far into the jungle. They no longer felt safe just going to the caves.

"Sure," Kate said quietly.

"Great," Charlie said, and headed for the door. Kate looked down again, suddenly feeling very alone. "Oh, and hey-" Kate forced herself to look up at him, "I'm sure Jack'll understand, whatever you decide. He loves you, you know."

Kate couldn't help but to smile to herself in her mind, nodding to cover it up as Charlie left.

_Yeah, he loves me.._

(space)

She decided to go after him when it got dark. It was dark and he still wasn't back. The silent jungle haunted her as she walked through it, and Kate struggled to keep focus on the torch balanced inside her sweaty palms as she walked swiftly through the paths to the scene. Once she reached the last brush of trees, Kate stopped, and peaked through the branches to get a sneak peek.

He was still on his knees beside Alex's body, staring down at her as the moonlight illuminated them. He looked so sad..so lost. Kate swallowed hard before stepping into the scene. Immediately Jack turned at the sudden heat and new light.

"Kate," he said finally after they stared at each other for a moment, "I-" looked away, letting out a laugh, as if he couldn't believe it, but had almost expected it anyway. The laugh left a mark, hitting her hard. She just stared at him. "I told you not to follow me."

"I know," Kate said softly, looking down momentarily, slightly ashamed at going against his word, before stepping forward, "I'm sorry, I had to. Charlie said he thought-"

"You went to Charlie?" Jack said in disbelief. He shook his head. He was actually almost laughing now in a full out twisted grin. Kate tried to convince herself that this was nothing more than a result of a lack of sleep, too much trauma too fast. He would never hurt her, not like that. And he promised he wouldn't after he hit her..so Kate continued to stare at him, hoping inside- for his sake- he wouldn't go too far. "Kate-"

"Please," she begged desperately. "I just wanted you to know-"

"That you're there for me, I know," Jack finished for her. He shook his head as Kate continued to watch him nervously, "look, I went through this before, I'm fine, all right?"

"Jack, it's the middle of the night!" Kate exclaimed. "That..thing..is still out there, it-"

"Don't tell me about it!" Jack shouted, startling Kate so much she nearly fell back at the what could've been physical impact. "I just..I don't need you right now."

Kate's mouth felt dry. She was at lost for words, in shock by the statement. He didn't need her..he didn't need her. But she needed him. And she knew he needed her. How would she make him believe that? Jack's pained eyes bore into hers, and Kate had no choice but to turn away. If she stepped forward he'd yell at her, which would only make him angrier once he realized what he put her through later.

"Funeral's tomorrow," she whispered, back turned to him.

Jack didn't reply. She didn't expect him to. Kate walked back into the jungle, out of sight, leaving Jack alone to follow the flicker of her torch's flame until the very last minute, begging her with the eyes she couldn't see to understand. At last he had to turn back to the body in front of him, and for the first time Jack noticed the rancid smell that had developed from the stillness of it. Then he knew: she was really gone.

(space)

The night came and went slowly, lingering on until the last possible minute before sundown. Instead of going to her own tent, Kate stayed in their cave with the thought of Jack's possible return on her mind. He never came back.

That afternoon the sun poke through the clouds, and nature remained quiet for respect as the castaways gathered silently around the decided grave-spot- right near where Jack buried his father. Hurley joked lightly that it could be like a two for one stop for him now. No one laughed.

Kate filed in line after Sawyer, whose hand would brush against Rebecca's and linger there for a moment or two before she dropped it in protest. Her own sad, tired, eyes towards the ground, Kate never noticed Sawyer's frequent glances to her. Jack still hadn't showed up. At this rate, they wouldn't even have a second body for the grave dug voluntarily by Locke. Danielle wasn't present either.

Sayid and Boone stood at the front of Shannon's grave, where they had brought in and sat down her body. Neither spoke or looked at anyone, and it went noted that they had each cleaned up nicely, something they never did. Unless they were around Shannon.

Once they were all there, everyone looked around, because it didn't go unnoticed there were bodies absent. Though he dug the grave Locke wasn't there, and neither was Danielle or Jack. When Kate finally looked up, glancing around one last time in hopes of seeing him, she noticed Boone had also looked around. He looked sick. Sayid, on the other hand, just looked distant, much like Jack had the night before: lost.

It was quiet until Aaron's soft cries filled the air, followed quickly by Claire's desperate attempts to silent him. Charlie didn't look embarrassed, but distant as well, much unlike the night before. Even Hurley had no more jokes to offer, and Sawyer stood there as well, staring at the empty grave that belonged to Alex. Rebecca's hand latched into his, but Sawyer didn't seem to noticed. She rubbed his back as well, partially just looking for a reaction. Nothing.

They waited for either Sayid or Boone to step forward, and each looked like they forgot to agree on the arrangement. Kate stepped up beside Sawyer, and began waiting for everyone else. She took a last look around for Jack, knowing that after this, for respect she shouldn't be distracting herself. After what felt like a decade's worth of slow moving, unwanted time, Sayid stepped up in front of Boone, who continued to stare into the grave. Despite her worries about Jack, she felt sorry for Boone, who was clearly close to his step-sister.

"She didn't realize it at the time," Sayid began, "but when we first crashed, Shannon was unsure of herself as a sibling, and as a person." A few people glanced at Boone, curious for a response, but his former expression remained the same. "Fortuently she had an amazing sense of change. Unfortuently, not many of you had the opportunity to see this."

She could've sworn she heard him approach, but only she and Sayid noticed when Jack stumbled out of the jungle in exhaust, carrying something in a blue tarp with him. Alex. Kate met eyes with him, offering Jack a sympathetic smile, a feeling of relief rushing through her. Sayid glanced towards Jack but ignored him as he sat the body on the ground, careful not to disturb the other survivors. Then, quietly, Jack stepped up beside Kate, making his presence as unknown as possible. Her eyes began to water as she felt the aurora of his sadness leak into the atmosphere, and she clinged onto his hand, intertwining his fingers with her for support. She was nearly thrilled when he didn't back away.

The small disturbance seemed to throw off Sayid, who continued to hesitate continuing. At last he swallowed, closing his eyes before turning towards Boone and forcing out:

"Is there anything you would like to say?"

"I'll miss her," Boone said simply with a shrug.

It was decided unanimously that Sayid summed up just about all of what he was going to say. Sayid waited for Boone to continue, but Boone remained silent. Sayid made a sudden shift of positions, and hesitated before bending down to one knee on the ground. Boone followed automatically. Together they picked up Shannon and lowered her into the grave. Not a word was spoken. Jack watched but he didn't appear to be paying attention, thinking that in just a few moments, that would be him bending down, burying Alex. Danielle hadn't even came to the funeral. He felt a pang of disappointment, quickly followed by anger towards her. Alex was her daughter, after all.

The body was now settled into the grave, and everyone waited to see what would happen next. Not a breath was taken. The whole funeral seemed so surreal that it felt certain that any moment it would all disaperate, leaving behind only a clogged memory of something that might've happened.

Everyone watched as both Sayid and Boone picked up a handful of dirt and, together, threw it into the grave. Boone watched as the particles of dried land scattered over Shannon's face, covering up her beauty- her way of survival. Next to him Sayid stood, quicker than he would've liked, abruptly ending the burial. Sayid nodded to Jack, signaling the second burial. Kate gave his hand a tight squeeze, and instead of relaxing, her muscles tensed as he let go. Slightly surprising everyone- including Jack- it was Sawyer who stepped forward to help Jack move the body, and together they silently placed it inside the pre-dug grave. Unlike Sayid, Jack couldn't stand there and give a eulogy while looking at the empty, soulless, body. There was too much emotion, too much guilt to even attempt to form words in its presence. It. The word seemed so cold that Jack had to swallow it away. He wasn't ready for 'it' yet. Sawyer stepped away from the body quickly, as if fearing being caught in the spotlight. All eyes were dancing around Jack now, and Jack knew what he had to do. What he had to say. He realized he was breathing heavily in anxiety, and held a breath before finally speaking:

"None of us will ever know what Alex was like before she crashed here," Jack began. He swallowed, struggling to continue. Kate watched him helplessly, wishing, somehow, she could help him. "But all I know is that she was an amazing girl, who was put through too much..too much for someone her age. Too much for anyone. And I'm proud of her."

Kate glanced down, flinching at the present tense verb.

"I-"

Heads turned suddenly and Jack was cut off as everyone looked to see the person creeping up on the funeral, hiding themselves amongst the branches of jungle, only inching out at the last possible minute. Danielle. Jack turned just in time to see her step out, in his words were caught in his breath. It was a long moment before anyone did anything.

"We can leave," Jack offered finally, "if you want-"

"No," Danielle cut in quickly.

Jack looked down to the ground. Part of him prayed for her to say yes, just so he'd have an excuse to get away. Reality set in, and he knew he had to finish. But not yet. Burying Alex was different with than burying his father. After his father died Jack wanted to rush through everything, making sure he never took in a single moment of it. With Alex, he wanted to take in every moment, lingering out the process as long as possible.

"Would you like to say anything?" Jack asked her.

He was sure Danielle would refuse, but she didn't. Instead, she seemed very confident in speaking up in front of everyone, shooting out her acknowledgments like bullets.

"She was my daughter." Jack winced at the emphasis on 'my', as if the word was thrown directly to him. "I loved her."

The ground suddenly seemed welcoming, more welcoming that looking at the woman whose daughter was laying dead below them. Maybe she was right. Maybe Jack had overstepped his boundaries. But then, why had he cared so much?

"I'm sorry," he whispered suddenly, surprising even himself.

No one questioned him, but Jack quickly recovered as, like Boone and Sayid, he picked up a handful of dirt. Before throwing it into the grave, marking the first step towards a permanate leave.

"Do you-" Jack began quietly.

Danielle shook her head. She now looked petrified at being called upon on, as if were she to take one step forward, she'd be sick. Jack looked at the dirt in his hand for a long moment, he could hear Kate counting for him in her head. It was like their thing now. After the long, hesitant, pause, Jack thrust the dirt into the whole, blinking painfully as some of the particles flew into his eyes, leaving a stinging stain of pitiness. He could almost fell the relief amongst the castaways as the dirt melted into the dried blood that still decorated Alex's face, covering it with undead wounds.

_Hold on _

_Hold on to yourself _

_For this is gonna hurt like hell_

The group parted more quickly than Jack would've expected after that, almost like they had suddenly inherited Kate's need for running. Rebecca put her arm around Sawyer as they walked back to their camp, Sawyer facing towards the ground, refusing to speak to those who glanced towards him. It seemed so odd, and Jack realized just then that it was because of seeing someone who cared about Sawyer so much. Things had really changed over their past months on the island.

_Hold on _

_Hold on to yourself_

_You know that only time can tell _

Kate waited until most of the crowd was gone before aproaching Jack, who was still knelt by the grave.

"You wanna stay?" She asked him.

Behind them Danielle was watching them in envy. Even Boone and Sayid, who still remained, knew how lucky Jack was to have someone to come to him like that..someone who cared.

Jack shook his head. After being with Alex all night, wanting to feel close to her death, Jack suddenly felt like he needed to be away. Kate helped him stand, and Danielle was still watching them as they left. Jack took one last look back at the grave before finally leaving it behind him, though he knew he had to come back later to fill the grave. At the time, Jack didn't realize that all he was doing was prolonging the whole process even more. Maybe that was why he left in the first place.

_What is it in me that refuses to believe _

_This isn't easier than the real thing_

Charlie sat beside Claire on the sand, offering to take Aaron. He remembered for the first time Claire suggesting naming her child Alex. Now he was glad she didn't. How bad would that've been.

_My love _

_you know that you're my best friend. _

_You know that I'd do anything for you _

Looking down at Aaron, Charlie thought back to when Alex did the psychic reading for him, and he began to wonder if she told the truth. He hoped he did. He must've looked upset at Claire's refusal for help, because Claire laughed a little just then, and finally placed Aaron carefully in his arms.

_And my love _

_Let nothing come between us _

_My love for you is strong and true_

Sawyer sat alone that evening on the shore, staring out to sea, letting the world revolve silently around him. He heard Rebecca approach before she took a seat next to him, and didn't have the energy to shoo her away.

_Am I in heaven here or _

_Am I.._

_At the crossroads I am standing_

Much further away Jack and Kate secluded themselves on the beach. Kate didn't notice, but Jack was well aware that they were sitting in the same place Alex sat for days after her arrival on the island. A banana sat in Kate's hand, but she made no move to eat it. Instead she offered it to Jack, who ignored her.

"You should eat," Kate suggested quietly, almost painfully. She looked at the ground as she spoke. "Because over the next few days you won't feel like it..and you need to."

"Don't tell me what I'll be going through," Jack shot, barely above a whisper.

Kate winced at the harshness of his voice, and would've given anything for the day Jack realized his resentment and begged for her forgiveness. She'd give it to him.

_So now you're sleeping peaceful _

_I lie awake and pray _

_that you'll be strong tomorrow _

_and will see another day _

_and we will praise it _

_and love the light that brings a smile _

_across your face_

Boone hid behind some trees as he kept a close eye on the hatch door. Locke hadn't come to the funeral. He didn't even have the nerve to show his face. Did Boone blame Locke for Shannon's death? He was starting to. At that moment Locke emerged from the door. As far as first impressions went, he didn't seem to feel guilty at all about not attending the funeral.

_Oh god _

_If you're out there won't you hear me _

_I know we're never talked before _

That night Jack and Kate stayed at the beach, neither having the mental or physical energy to go back to the caves- or face anyone. Not yet. They lay in the sand, and at least Jack did, pretending to be asleep. In reality he was wide awake, actually attempting to read Kate's mind. She was sitting up, not even bothering to pretend to be asleep. Her knees were drawn to her chest, arms laying over them carelessly. She stared out to sea, wishing so many things that she wanted to scream in frustration. And as he tried to read her mind, eyes wide open as he lay on the ground, Jack could've sworn he heard that scream.

_And oh god _

_He man I love is leaving _

_Won't you take him when he comes to your door_

She just wanted him to be okay. That was her main wish.

_Am I in heaven here or _

_Am I in hell _

_At the crossroads I am standing_

No one was at the grave-site last night. Jack had yet to come back to fill the graves, leaving the sickening smell of death to leak into the cool night's air. Danielle looked around one final time, making sure no one was there to witness this. She sat down carefully on the earth's floor next to the grave, and letting her sweater drape around her shoulders to protect her from the casual breeze, took her first look at her daughters dead body.

_So now you're sleeping peaceful _

_I lie awake and pray _

Sun was walking arose the beach when she noticed Sayid sitting alone on the shore. He looked the same as he did at the funeral, down to the same, distant, appearance. The only difference now was that he knew he was alone, and no one was there to witness a breakdown. But Sun had been there before, at the loss of her husband, and knew that deep down, all he wanted was for someone to be there for him. The hardest part for both Boone and Sayid was just that- the only person on the island who had ever been there for either of them at certain times was Shannon. And now she was gone. So when Sun sat down next to Sayid, it didn't strike her odd to see his eyes suddenly bounce back to reality, filled with stray tears held back for so long.

_that you'll be strong tomorrow _

_and we will see another day _

But having someone there also meant that in the morning, someone would remember the meltdown. Sayid looked down quickly at Sun's face of concern, but she already caught notice of the few teardrops that escaped despite his beliefs. She contemplated putting her arm around him for support, knowing he needed it, but she knew how risky it'd be, since he just lost the woman he loved. And since he barely knew her. But as Sayid looked down, desperately continuing to try and pull himself together and continually failing, Sun gently placed her arm around him. Surely in the morning, he'd understand, and maybe even be grateful.

_and we will praise it _

_and love the light that brings a smile _

_across your face_

Danielle crossed the beach that night, certain that no one would notice her leaving this late. She was planning on going back into the jungle, disappearing again. What did she have to stay for anyway?

But just then Jack and Kate turned around, and she and Jack met eyes. There were mends to heal, they both knew, and it'd take some time. It'd be hard, difficult, and painful; certainly not an experience to go through alone. And secretly, Danielle didn't want to play solitary. She wasn't quite ready either. But maybe, she decided, if she stayed a little longer..

Jack, on the other hand, was becoming terrified. The next few days would be hard, difficult, and painful. He didn't want to take it alone, but he felt so much guilt that he thought he should. But still, he didn't want to. All he ever wanted was for Kate to be there, and to be there for her as well.

_Hold on _

_hold on to yourself _

Kate turned him back towards the sea, forcing him away from his thoughts. But instead of seeing the endless escape he was so used to seeing in the endless waters, he saw nothing but a winding, inhumane path of unwanted pain, just waiting to be stepped upon. And the worse part was, Jack knew he had to take it, with or without the choice of Kate's help.

_For this is gonna hurt like hell_

**Author's Note:** I hope that chapter wasn't too weird. I know it was different, but things are definetly changing. Some of those decisions I've been talking about Alex's death motivating are about to show up. Things are gonna get even darker, and some friendships your used to seeing may be broken. But thanks so much for continuing to read, even though it may not be the most pleasant reading. You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

Frustration will get the better of Boone. For everyone it's going to be a long path pain, heartache, and breakdowns. But, of course, there's always room for a moment or two of much needed fluff.

Thanks again!

October Sky


	30. Guilt

In the End

Chapter Thirty

**Chapter Thirty: **Guilt

The entire island time seemed to be set back, and as they awoke late, some began to ponder missing daylight saving's. But as the dark clouds slowly loomed over the roaring sea, the unusual darkness becamse obvious: a storm was coming.

"The doctor stayed on the beach last night," Sebastian commented, glancing to where the man and his girlfriend were sleeping on the shore, just far enough out to where the tide couldn't reach them; yet.

"His name's Jack," Michelle retorted, staring out to the raging sea while Sebastian attempted to fix their tarp.

Strong winds made the usual morning routines more difficult, and the oncoming darkness just caused confussion. Was it even still morning? After the two funerals, most of the camp stayed on the beach, and now everything seemed to be working backwards.

"Yeah," Sebastian said casually, brushing off the harsh comment, "well Jack never stays at the beach."

As he succefully tied the tarp around the bamboo holding it up, Sebastian stepped down from the boxes he was using as a stepladder, and pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.

"So?"Michelle shot.

Sebastian stared at her for a moment. Ever since she went up to the caves to help with Jack, she had been more distant, more independent, than ever. And he didn't like it. Sudden changes of behavior made him nervous, especially when it concerned Michelle. He sighed.

"Do you want to go to the caves?" He blurted out.

Michelle snorted.

"What?"

She was acting almost like teenager, lacking respect and refusing to coopercate. It was so unlike Michelle that he was really beginning to worry. Did something happen up there the other day? The new thought of someone hurting her suddenly made him angry, so angry that he nearly dropped the second half of the tarp.

"Never mind," he said quietly, ending the conversation in silence.

(space)

Jack let out a groan as he was brought back to consioucness, fished out of his sleep by a raw taste in his mouth.

"Oh God," he exclaimed, sitting up quickly and spitting out the sandy taste in his mouth.

A moan escaped from Kate at the gagging sound, and she rolled over from where she lay in the sand.

"What?" She muttered.

"I have sand in my mouth!" Jack complained. He looked at her, wiping his chin in disgust. "See, this is why I don't like sleeping here."

Giggling, Kate sat up on her elbows, watching him.

"But you have to admit," she said, "it was a good sleep."

"Yeah," Jack said, "but your shoe got soaked."

"What?" Kate cried out, throwing herself onto her side to get a good look at her shoe.

Sure enough, salty liquid covered the soles. Groaning in frustration, Kate ripped them off and turned them over, desperate to save her only pair of hiking boots; the same ones she took off the dead body the first day on the island. While she tried to save her shoe, Jack sat behind her, watching in admiration. How was it that Kate was able to be so strong through this?

"So you slept well?" He asked, trying to distract himself.

"Okay," Kate replied, sounding careless.

Jack frowned, worried. What was she hiding?

"How about you?" She asked over the silence.

"As well as always," Jack replied.

"Barely slept a wink, huh?" Kate said sympathetically.

"Yeah," Jack admited softly.

Kate offered him a smile to go with the sympathy.

"You ready to go?"

Jack assumed she meant to the caves. Truthfully, Jack didn't feel like facing anyone. That was one of the reasons why he planned a private burial for his father; he couldn't stand the thought of someone seeing him at his breaking point. Now that someone was everyone who depended on him, everyone who he'd have to face every day.

"Yeah," Jack said anyway, standing up.

He reached down to help Kate up, and after studying the trail for a long moment, began the path to the caves.

(space)

The caves seemed like a weird, surreal place of unfamiliarity, even though he was there everyday. Jack stopped as soon as he stepped inside, and took a moment to observe the atmosphere. People stole glances as they walked by, but never spoke a word.

"Catch!"

Jack came back to reality just in time to see a water bottle coming at him, and caught it gratefully from Kate's toss.

"Thanks," he said, attempting to open the cap so quickly he ended up struggling with it. At last he got it open and took several huge gulps, not having had anything to drink in almost days.

For the first time Jack stopped long enough to notice the bandage wrapped around his hand. Poking at it in intrest, Jack begin picking it off to reveal dozens of tiny little scratches he hadn't even felt before. There was no pain, but he supposed at some point there had to of been.

"You gonna skip the rounds today?" Kate asked, breaking Jack out of his thoughts.

Jack looked around the caves a second time. From the looks of it, most castaways seemed to be at the caves anyway. He shook his head.

"We should just warn them to make shelter," Jack suggested, "looks like a storm coming."

"At least it held out," Kate commented, growing quiet with the end of the statement.

They both looked away, letting an unwanted akward pause pass between them. It was only the day after, but already Kate was realizing how hard this would be, for each of them. She was already surprised that Jack was even offering to talk to her this morning.

"Do you want to come back to the beach with me?" Jack finally asked.

She spent spent an honest moment contemplating the offer. Was he really requesting it from her? She couldn't tell. Kate was beginning to think that maybe Jack planned to spend the day at the caves, but changed his mind at the high mass of people. Already he was slowly starting to distance himself, and Kate felt a small pang at the thought.

"We just got here," Kate protested, "let's just..catch our breath for a moment."

Without further protest Jack followed Kate to the caves, looking down all the way to avoid confrontation. Once inside, they each sat their bags down and stood there, waiting for one of the two to say something.

"We could've slept later," Kate spoke up.

Jack shook his head.

"I'm fine," he insisted.

Kate looked away, biting her lip to keep from lashing out at him.

_Don't you dare start doing this, Jack.._

"I'm gonna sit down," she announced.

It was frustrating, not being able to say anything to each other. She was afraid of confronting him in fear of him running away..how ironic that not to long ago it was the other way around. Dragging her bag to the cot, Kate sat down, feeling as though someone were moving her by force. Letting her hands drop below her, Kate stared at the ground, wishing the answer to all of this would suddenly appear. Jack remained standing nearby, all his amusment from earlier suddenly gone.

Outside, loud arguing erupted between two people, but Jack and Kate remained still, oblivious to the fighting. They were on their way to being able to sucessfully ignore it when Hurley came running in the cave. He stopped and stared at the state the two are in, momentarily forgetting his reason for barging in.

"You should come-" he said at last.

Jack snapped out of his daze at the call for duty, but Kate stayed, secretly not wanting him to go. He'd always put his work ahead of himself, Kate observed. No matter what. So when Jack left her alone in the caves, Kate just stared at her hands, waiting for him to come back; he always did. No matter what.

(space)

Hurley led Jack to a path outside the caves, where a small crowd had formed around the fighting couple. Sebastian and Michelle. Jack closed his eyes. He heard rumors about these two and their quarels.

"God would you just_ leave me alone?_" Michelle cried.

Her hair was flying around as she exaggerated her words with waving hands, brushing her hair back as she attempted to seize her tears. Jack watched her sympathetically; he knew too well what it was like to be constantly feuding with a loved one.

"They've been like this for ten minutes," Charlie whispered, appearing by Jack's side. He looked at Jack. "I don't think anyone knows the point, actually."

Ten minutes seemed to be enough for Michelle. Swirling around, Michelle made to run off, but not before Sebatian grabbed her arm roughly, pulling her back towards him. As the audience held their breath, the couple glared furiously at each other. Jack could've sworn he saw fear flash across Michelle's face, but as he stepped up, he was sure no one else noticed.

"Hey!" He called, shoving Sebastian back. Michelle's wrist snapped away, and she held it closely, rubbing it with a pained expression on her face. Something told Jack that pain had nothing to do with the phsyical attack. "Lay off, won't you?"

Sebastian's expression didn't change, which made Jack even more angrier. Turning swiftly, he looked back for Michelle, but she was no where in sight. What was half of the camp- though no more than a dozen- watched him in a mixture of fear, appreciation, and..pity. More angered than ever, Jack turned around, storming back towards the caves.

When he got back to his cave, Jack's first reaction was feeling upset at Kate towards leaving, then regret for leaving himself. He could've at least said something to her before, but no, he just ran. Then he realized the cave wasn't exactly empty: Michelle was already there, sitting on the cot. Wearing a helpless expression, she looked much like Kate had before he left.

"Hey," he said finally, stepping into the room, "you okay?"

He approached her carefully, unsure of how she'd react if he startled her.

"My wrist hurts," Michelle whispered.

Jack noticed she was cluching it in pain, and he decided it was time to take the risk and stepped towards her. She needed help. Knealing beside her, Michelle let him take her wrist in his hand. The faded black-blue swell of the bone made him wrist. But that couldn't of just been from now. Jack swallowed.

"It looks sprained," he told her.

Michelle didn't react. She just looked so sad, so betrayed..

"I don't have a brace," Jack continued over his thoughts, feeling guilty for not being able to give proper medical attention to the wound, "but I can wrap it up, if you want."

Giving a half-hearted nod in reply, Michelle seemed completly aside the situation. Concerned, Jack glanced back towards her as he searched for his medical tape. At last he found it. He looked at the ground a moment before clearing his throat. It'd be hard to tend to her while knealing below her level.

"Mind if I-"

Michelle shook her head and scooted over to give him the seat. Carefully placing the beginning of the roll onto her wrist, he began to gently wrap it.

"So what were you two arguing about?"

The silence concerned Jack and worried him about overstepping his boundaries.

"Sorry," he said quickly, "I-"

"It's okay," Michelle actually snorted, more to herself than to Jack, "it used to be like that a lot."

"Used to?" Jack said curiously.

Michelle hesitated.

"It's complicated," she said softly.

This time, Jack gave her her space as he continued wrapping her wrist. Even one of her fingers looked bent out of shape, but it appeared to be such a common thing for Michelle that she didn't notice. Surely she hadn't been in an accident..he would've eventually found out. But then, what was her problem? He thought back to her argument with Sebastian, his rough grip on her arm, and the moment of fear that Jack was now certain he saw. Familiar symptoms built up, and Jack remembered countless encounters with simular patients back at work. Swallowing again, Jack tried to work his theories around it, but he found no other explination.

"Does he hurt you?" Jack forced himself to ask, his voice so low he wasn't sure she even heard him.

Michelle looked up at him, meeting his eyes with a dangerously pained stare, one he was used to seeing only in Kate. She looked frightened at first, like earlier, as if fearing being caught. Maybe that was exactly the problem, because soon after, her eyes quickly changed, becoming determined and protective.

"He's never laid a hand on me," Michelle said, her expression fixed and voice solid. Their connected gaze ended suddenly with that. "Until now."

Studying her, Jack realized the fear wasn't from Sebastian, but possibly for Sebastian. Thinking back to the time he hit Kate, Jack shivered.

"Do you think there's such thing," Michelle began quietly, "as loving someone too much?"

Jack caught her peeking over towards him through some of her fallen blonde hair.

"He is protective of you," Jack commented.

He found his thoughts once again trailing to Kate. Sometimes did he love her too much? Was he so afraid of losing her that he was risking everything? And with Alex's death..his biggest fear was letting Kate down like that. He didn't think he could ever take it if something like that happened to her. He knew he couldn't.

Michelle didn't offer him any more insight, but Jack decided to be respectful of her space. From experience with Kate, he became a pro with women and their secrets. But the silence was making the atmosphere uncomfortable, and Michelle didn't make any move to leave once Jack finished wrapping her wrist.

"I heard you're the one that helped bring Kate out of her shock," Michelle didn't reply or made any sign of taking credit. It didn't matter; Jack was grateful anyway. He offered Michelle the smallest smile he could muster. "Thank you."

He gave Michelle a moment to turn around and reply, but her own world seemed to be taking over her. Jack smiled a little again, and swung a leg over the cot to stand up.

"Well, that should-"

A hand suddenly clamped down on his arm, and Jack looked down in surprise. Her sadness suddenly gone, Michelle almost looked as though she were in some kind of trance.

"You lost someone you love," Michelle stated quietly, "it's okay to grieve her."

Shocked by the sudden announcment- especially coming from Michelle- Jack couldn't answer. He opened his mouth to protest, but nothing came out. He felt dizzy, and suddenly he wished Kate were there. Maybe he could try and make her understand, try and make Michelle understand, that he just couldn't take it.

"Talk to Kate," Michelle went on, "she's worried about you."

"Hey."

As if on cue, Kate stepped into the room, breaking into the conversation softly. Michelle offered Jack a smile and stood up, letting go of his arms.

"Thanks," she said, and left the room.

Before exciting completly, Michelle stopped at the door, and turned towards Jack. She didn't wink, but exchanged a look, which didn't pass Kate.

"What was that all about?" Kate asked, glancing after Michelle.

"Nothing," Jack lied, shaking his head.

Kate studied him as Jack sucessfully avoided her eyes.

"What's going on?" He didn't answer. "Jack?"

Abruptly Jack swirled around, startling Kate into taking a state back. He suddenly looked choked up, almost defeated. But not quite.

"I-" he choked on his words, looking desperate, "Kate-"

Sympathetically, Kate stepped towards him.

"It's okay," she said, reaching for his arm.

Jack sat down. He didn't know why the realization was hitting him at that moment or the motivation for it, but he knew he couldn't handle it. If Alex was gone..that was his fault. He let her die..

"I let her go on the trek," Jack moaned dreadfully.

Kate stopped.

"What?" She said slowly, watching him carefully.

"The search party," Jack explained. His face was becoming pale in drawn out dreadfulness as a sickning feeling sank in. "Why? How could've I of just.."

"You didn't know," Kate began softly, "Jack, this isn't your fault, there's no way you could've-"

"Yes there was!" Jack shouted, looking up at Kate.

Now that she had his attention, part of her wished he'd turn away. The guilt she knew was running through him, the emotion..it made Kate feel sick herself. If only he would let her help him, if only he'd understand.

"She died," Jack said quietly, his voice shaking, "and it's all my fault."

_All my fault.._Kate's heart sank at the words. It broke her, hearing him say that, knowing what he believed, the truth he refused to believe. As she stepped towards him, she could feel his guilt radiating off him in strong waves. Suddenly she felt warm, and began to sweat a little. Slipping into the spot next to him, Kate leaned down to his level, a sense of dejavoo coming over her.

"It wasn't your fault," Kate said into his ear, "please believe that."

Jack shook his head, bringing his hands to his mouth like he was preventing himself from getting sick.

"Jack-"

"No!" Jack shouted, leaping up.

Kate stared up at him, alarmed. He was nearly and tears now, and at the thought Kate could feel her own eyes watering. She kept them wide, determined not to cry. She had to be strong. Maybe then he'd believe her.

"I _killed_ her," Jack choked out, staring at Kate in deep guilt.

"No you didn't," it was all Kate could think of to say, and she hated herself for it. Jack was always able to think of excuses for her, reasons. But now she was too shocked, too hearbroken to comprehend anything. "No you didn't Jack, and don't you ever-"

"Stop!"

Kate almost fell back at the near phsyical blow. That's what it felt like, at least. Jack's words echoed off walls, leaving a haunting silence. Tears were clutching desperatly now, for both of them. Jack stood there, guiltridden, pained, horrified..feeling all of this for himself. Then he turned away. Away from her. Fell against the wall, holding onto it for support instead of her. And as Jack stood there, breathing hard through the intense emotion, frustration built up inside Kate. Why was he turning away?

"Go away," he muttered, holding himself against the wall. Kate didn't budge. She didn't want to leave him, not like this.

Jack caught her. He swirled around again, his wild eyes dancing bloodshot around the room.

"Get out of here!"

Before she realized it, Kate was running. She wanted to stop, to turn and go back, but she couldn't. It almost felt like she was in over her head now. Jack wasn't listening to her, and she felt like she herself was beginning to lose it. Tearing through the jungle, Kate ripped through brush and branches, leaping through the jungle in a sprint. Here she was, running again. She felt turned upside down, like nothing was going the way it was supposed to. Stuck in reverse, Kate found herself regretting the times she sent Jack away, feeling his old frustration.

"You'll freefall off that cliff if you run any further."

Kate stopped at Locke's voice, and surprising even herself, she listened. Maybe because that's what Jack would've wanted her to do. Catching her breath, Kate turned around, casually facing Locke.

"I'm sorry about Alex," Locke offered.

He was sitting on a log, and Kate's eyebrows furrowed at what he was doing. A leg brace was in his hands, and he looked like he was trying to decide how the straps were supposed to fit on.

"Jack is too," Kate replied, placing her hands on her hips. "Need some help?"

Locke smiled gratefully.

"Have a seat."

Eyeing him suspiciously, Kate made to sit down next to him.

"Over there," he said, pointing to a log across from them.

Kate couldn't help to get the eerie feeling that this was already set up for her. As soon as she sat down, her leg naturally slid from under her, and Locke caught her foot with hand. Before she could pull away, he placed the leg brace around her calf, and began connecting it together.

"Medical exam tomorrow, John?" Kate joked lightly to hide her nerves. What the hell was he doing?

"You can say that," Locke smiled.

Kate watched as Locke roughly attempted to do up the straps of the brace, which looked acient and well-used; certainly not like one that would've been on a plane.

"Where'd you get that?" She asked him curiously.

"Found it," Locke shrugged, replying simply.

She didn't buy it. To her knowledge, Jack didn't have any type of brace with him, and who else would have one? But most importantly, why was Locke being so secretive about it?

"That should fit right," Locke announced to himself, sounding cheerful.

If he was choked up about the recent deaths, he didn't sound it. With ease this time, Locke took the brace off Kate's leg, which she quickly pulled away, though feeling relieved.

"So how's Jack doing?" Locke asked casually, as though they were just old friends catching up.

Kate gaped at him as he fitted the brace into his bag and zipped it up. Could he really be that cold-hearted? Especially considering his close friendship with Boone. Now that she thought about it, this was one of the first times in awhile that the two weren't together. Knowing that, knowing that things just seemed to be going easily for him made her angry, even sick.

"He's back at the caves right now thinking he murdered Roussaue's daughter," Kate retorted, staring at him in hatred and disbelief.

Locke even smiled a little at that. She wanted to slap the grin off his face, pin him down and shout a recital of everything that happened, all that they went through. All she went through. What she was still feeling. Jack wasn't the only one that was feeling guilty, though she wouldn't admit it. Images of the plane and Shannon still haunted her mind like a movie clip, flashing memories one by one without warning.

"Denial," Locke muttered to himself.

He sounded pleased about it, as if this were exactly what he wanted to hear.

"What?" Kate said, standing up so that she was above him, Locke now inferior to her.

"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance," Locke recited to Kate as he slipped his pack onto his shoulders, "the five steps of grieving and dying."

"Then you're saying Jack should feel like this?" Kate snapped angrily.

She suddenly felt protective of Jack, as though he were so much smaller than them at the moment; like someone needed to look out for him. And Kate felt very inclined to be that person.

"I think Jack thinks that he should feel this way," Locke suggested, smile still hung, crept up on his lips.

Kate's hands were on her hips again, and she was standing as though she were ready to fight. And she was.

"And that's okay?" Kate said. "No one should try and help him, or convince him he's wrong? What if he tries to kill himself?"

"What if he does?" Locke looked at her, pressuring her into the thought.

Her arms dropped, wrapping around her chest. What if he did? What if he'd never listen to her, and went to far? The thought made her head spin, and Kate felt sicker than ever. Honestly, seriously, sick. What if Jack was thinking these thoughts, while she was out here, running from him? Kate shook her head, partially in attempts of clearing her mind. As always, she failed.

"I've got to go," she announced quietly.

Fleeing towards the jungle, Kate ignored Locke's cry for her, running until she collapsed against a boulder sized rock. She held onto it for support, wishing Jack was with her. But he wasn't. She ran from him..ran when he needed her the most, and secretly, when she needed him the most. The thought upset her so much that all she hadn't eaten in the past few days rushed through her, stinging at her throat before she really did get sick, barely able to hold onto the rock any longer.

Wiping her mouth with a trembling hand, Kate rolled over, laying her head against her arm, crying into it. She shook as tears finally unleashed themselves furiously, dropping madly into puddles against her cheek. Trees blew above her, rustling leaves below her that scratched against her feet, urging her to run back to the caves, to fix this. But she really was in over her head. The fear, all of it, was just too much, and Kate wanted nothing more than for it to be gone. She desperatly needed for it to be gone. Memories flashed in her mind, and not only of the crashes, but of all the people she failed in her life..her mom, Tom..she wasn't going to fail Jack. She just couldn't take it. They gained so much together and she wasn't going to let it all be for nothing.

As her crying finally began to sieze, Kate wiped her face against her arm, and straightened up. Brushing her hair back, she looked around, trying to determine where she was. Recognizing her earlier path, Kate stared at it, taking a deep breath before heading back, leaving her crashed emotions behind.

(space)

Charlie didn't know Danielle very well. He didn't even know Alex very well. But still, when he saw Danielle sitting alone on the shore, he couldn't help but to feel sorry for her, horrible even. When he was a kid one of his friends lost a parent, and afterwards he went through a series of unpredictible changes: moodyness, angst, delienquency. But no one could be sure about Danielle. She was so soft-spoken, so self-indulged that it was a wonder she was still even there.

"Just out of curiosity," Charlie said, inviting himself to have a seat beside Danielle. "Do you miss it back home?"

Danielle looked at him, and though he should've expected it, Charlie was taken aback by her appearance. She looked exhausted, her hair fallen carelessly in tanlges around her, heavy bags underneath carved permantely beneath her eyes. Her skin haggard, Danielle could barely manage a half-hearted look of confussion in reply.

"You know," Charlie said, "back home, where you came from?" He smiled a little at the distant thought, one that was nice to dream about but often jerked away before given a chance of second thought. "Wherever you were before here?"

Charlie watched as Danielle turned back towards sea. Her face was set in its old, casual way, where you could never tell if she was about to smile or not. Suddenly more distant than before, Charlie let out an inner cry of triumph because he was sure he succeded in his partial goal at getting Danielle's mind off Alex. He knew that was a lot to ask, it almost could be taken in offense, but no one had said even a word to Danielle at the funeral. If he didn't do something, Charlie feared Danielle would just sit there, lost in a memoric reveri until she rotted away with the rest of the island's troubles.

"Yes," Danielle admited at last. She actually almost looked at peace with her memories, as though it was something she learned to accept, but it didn't bother her to bring them back up every now and then. "I don't think about it very often."

Nodding, Charlie took on the manner of a buisness salesmen, acting like he understood though he never really could. He let a moment pass before asking his question, knowing that if he did he'd catch Danielle in a reminense.

"What do you think of going back there?"

Danielle turned back towards him. Aware of how absurbed it sounded, Charlie was ready with an explaination.

"You mentioned a radio tower," Charlie went on, "no one ever talked about it, but I mean, it still has to be there, right?" He knew Danielle wanted to interfere, to tell him how crazy and wrong the idea was, but Charlie continued on, talking faster so she couldn't interrupt. "So how 'bout it? What do we have to lose, anyway?"

He stopped suddenly, realizing for the first time what he must sound like. Like he was telling Danielle she had nothing worth living for. That was the last thing she needed to here.

"I'm sorry," he offered quickly, "I-"

"No."

The distance was gone, and Danielle was back. She looked like she had come to an understanding, and Charlie awaited the rest of her reply nervously. Suddenly Danielle was realizing what people must be thinking of her now, even if it wasn't what Charlie meant. She spent the last sixteen years of her life searching for her daughter, living strictly for that. Now that she was gone, what did she have to live for? But they'd never come out and say it. Some might've even been trying to keep her from realizing that.

"You can't go there," Danille finished.

While part of Charlie felt relieved at the brief answer, the other part felt furious.

"Why?" He burst out. "Don't you want to get rescued? What about missing home?"

"Just because I miss it," Danielle began, doing a magnificant job at maintaining her emotions, "doesn't mean I want to go back."

Now he was furious, angry at Danielle's selfishness. After all, if there was nothing left for her on the island, why not go back to what was waiting for her? He stood up, his earlier sympathy suddenly gone.

"Yeah, well you're not everyone, are you?" Charlie shot bitterly as he left.

Storming off, Charlie was so lost in frustration that he didn't notice Sayid as he brushed right by him.

"Sorry," he muttered under his breath.

Just as he moved on, Charlie rememebered something. Sayid was good with radios, right? He could help. Hope resurfaced, and Charlie managed to pull together some of his previous optimism.

"Hey, you've been all around the _Black Rock_, right?" Chalie asked.

Every time he got the chance to go, he was either being kidnapped or looking for a missing person. Charlie never had the opportunity to look around.

"Yes," Sayid replied with the slightest hint of curiosity.

Sayid honestly looked like he didn't care one way or another, like anything he said or did didn't matter. Not anymore. The same sympathy Charlie felt before for Danielle was returning, and he suddenly found himself very lucky to still have Claire. He knew he should always feel this way, but sometimes he couldn't help but to feel furious or even vengeful of the world. Why did all this have to happen? Why was it that Aaron was the child who wouldn't live a normal life? Why them? Why Claire?

"Did you ever see a radio tower?" Charlie went on.

Holding his breath, Charlie awaited Sayid's reply. Part of him expected Sayid to blow up at him like Danielle, while part was hoping Sayid, like him, would like nothing more than to get away from here. What was the point of being here, anyway? Charlie proved himself a good person, but no one but these people were able to see it. They didn't know how bad his drug habbit was, or his troubles with the band. What was it to them if he was now in a relationship and practically fathering a child?

"No."

His heart fell.

"But Danielle said this..tower..was by the _Black Rock_!" Charlie said. He wasn't going to let himself be turned down.

"Why do you want to go there?"

Now Sayid sounded curious. Charlie just gaped at him.

"To get to whatever source is up there and get a signal out!" Charlie exclaimed. "So we can get rescued!"

For a long moment, Sayid just stared at him; for a split second, Charlie even expected him to hit him. He even flinched in preperation.

"Get rescued?" It was the most innocent he ever heard Sayid sound. Soft-spoken and slightly distant, for that one moment Sayid sounded the hope of a child. Thinking of a younger version of Sayid was almost amusing, like your grandparents insisting that once they were children too. "Why would you want to get rescued?"

He was sure he was dreaming. Wasn't there anyone here who wanted to leave? To forget all this?

"You know, to get rescued!" Charlie cried again. "To go home!" He watched Sayid's eyes carefully for a reaction, and somehow Charlie knew not to be too optomistic. "Don't you want to go home?"

Sayid stared at him, and Charlie realized that this was the first time he'd ever seen Sayid out of sorts, as though he wasn't quite in aware of reality.

"Do you really want to go back?" Sayid began steadily, speaking quietly. "Back to people who have possibly never experienced pain, let alone at the extent we have?"

Charlie didn't have an answer. He never looked at it that way, going back to society with knowledge of the pain and trauma they've experienced. It even seemed difficult to imagine a world where he didn't have to live everyday in fear of not being there for the next. But then again, when he thought of all the people back there..

Sayid placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sure we haven't been forgotten," Sayid said assuringly, as though he were reading his mind.

Sayid offered him a half-smile of reassurance before walking away, leaving Charlie standing there. Though determined not to let his hopes die, he was thinking in a whole new light now. How different was the world out there? Were people still thinking about them? It had been almost six months- half a year. Surely someone still cared.

(space)

Kate stepped gingerly toward the cave, peaking around the corner. She felt nervous, like she was a child who wasn't sure about her first recital. The audience was out there, and Kate had been fooling herself before, believing it wouldn't be that big of a deal. But it was. Pulling the curtain back slightly, she could see hundreds of blank-faced viewers waiting for her to come on.

But instead of waiting for her, Jack was laying down on the cot. His eyes were closed, and he looked so peaceful laying their in his moment of rest that Kate couldn't help but to smile. Maybe now wasn't the best time. She knew Jack; later on he'd be refusing to let himself get any kind of rest. If he found out she caught him, he'd be frustrated with himself, even though it wasn't a big deal at all. Because it was to Jack. Quietly she turned, but at the movement her head spun, and Kate stumbled. Grabbing onto the wall for support, Jack must've heard her quick breathing because he shot up.

"Kate?" He asked, coming out of his sleep in concern.

Jack sat up, reaching for Kate's arm, but she pushed it away.

"I'm fine," she insisted, resting her head against her arm.

The last thing she wanted was Jack worrying over her. Despite her protest, Jack still pulled her towards him. The effort made Kate's head pound, but she tried to ignore it as Jack came to her.

"Come here," Jack said.

This time Kate felt to weak to protest, and she allowed Jack to sit her down on the caught.

"Drink this," Jack told her, handing Kate a bottle of water.

Shaking her head, Kate tried her best to hold the pain in. She felt Jack's hand fall on her forehead, and out of the corner of her eye she saw him shake his head.

"You don't feel hot."

At Jack's worried tone, Kate herself began to tense up, nervous.

"I just got sick," she admited, a little embarassed, "I'm sure it's nothing."

To prove herself, Kate stood up, but just at putting her weight on a foot she fell back down. Jack caught her back, helping her sit down.

"How have you been feeling the past two days?" Jack asked, laying Kate down gently on the cot.

"You mean before or after I watched a plane crash?" Kate retorted sarcastically.

Jack snorted, both of them grateful for the comic relief. Kate herself was almost grateful this was happening. Not only did it give them an excuse to force themselves to be together, but it was reassuring, seeing Jack concerned for her. Part of her still feared that he'd push her away for good, but now at least she knew it wouldn't be because of her specifically.

"Do you feel dizzy at all?" Jack asked her, sitting down on a vacant spot on the cot.

With his hand he brushed back some hair from her forehead, which was drenched with sweat. Suddenly Kate felt cold, and she shivered- not just at Jack's touch.

"Not really," she said, only half-lying, "my head hurts."

Above her Jack's frown curled up sympathetically, managing to crawl itself out of fear. The last thing he wanted or needed right now was for something to be wrong with Kate. She looked so fragile laying there, and it scared him because he'd never seen her so weak healthwise. Whenever she was down, Kate, like Jack himself, somehow was always able to pull herself together. He was well aware that Kate was atempting to do that now, and though he was always wanting Kate to be truthful, her failure at the attempt worried him. It scared him to death. Pausing, Jack tried to clear his mind before speaking up again.

"So this just started today?" Jack guessed.

Nodding weakly, Kate let her head tilt to the side so that she was looking at the wall. For a moment she lay there, letting Jack study her as she looked away distantly. He wondered what she was thinking of, if she was worried or- heaven forbid- she was worried because she knew she was lying. Silently he prayed to himself that this wasn't true. Surely if it were serious, Kate would say something. Over the past few days Jack couldn't remember witnessing any strange behavior from Kate, though with recent events, it was hard to part strange from understandable. At last she turned towards him, meeting Jack's eyes.

"I feel fine now," she said quietly.

"Really?" Jack said, unable to hide his surprise and soon relief.

Kate nodded and let Jack help her sit up.

"It must've just been one of those twenty-four hour bugs," Kate said, managing a smile.

Jack nodded as well, but he couldn't stop worrying that it was something so much more serious. Subconsiously he scooted beside her, letting his arm droop around her shoulders. As Kate lay her head against him, Jack tensed at the almost unfamiliar closeness. He'd been so focused on pushing her away that Jack forgot how much he liked being with her. When he told her to go, Jack secretly believed that she'd insist on staying, and part of him wanted that. But when she really did run, Jack didn't know what to think, and the exhaust of worrying him forced him into a tiring collasp. Launched into a world of nightmares, Jack was granted a few minutes of horrific visions of not only Alex's death, but Kate as well. But now she was back, right? Maybe Kate would forgive him for what he did.

"Why'd you come back?" Jack asked her quietly.

Kate looked up to him, her weight lifting off of him. Suddenly Jack felt lightheaded, like the breath was knocked out of him. He braced himself for the worse.

"Because I need for you to know that you're not alone," Kate replied softly, "I'm not going away."

She met his eyes, and Jack's heart skipped a beat at the emotion in them. A looked of desperation met him, but at the same time, Jack could still find a feeling of pain. Pain that was his doing.

"I'm not going to bring you down with me," Jack whispered.

Jack turned away. unable to look at her, though Kate was staring at him, mouth fallen agape. It was true though. Kate put her murderous past behind her, and Jack didn't want old feelings to resurface because of him. He wanted her there, but not if it would include those kinds of consequences.

"Bring you down with me?" Kate repeated in disbelief. "Jack, you won't..don't think.." She trailed off, so stunned she couldn't think straight. Unwilling to let silence be the excuse to end the conversation, Kate forced herself to face Jack again and pull herself together. "This isn't your fault. Danielle doesn't think that, I don't think-"

"You don't know that," Jack interrupted, jumping up so quickly Kate barely caught herself before falling back. "You don't know what she thinks of me, or anyone else."

Kate sat herself up against the wall so that she was facing Jack.

"But I know what I think," Kate said quietly. She looked at Jack, forcing him to meet her eyes again. "Don't push me away."

Jack couldn't argue. He didn't know why, and it scared him. He wanted Kate, that had to of been it. She'd have to forgive him..she'd have to. Kate didn't say anything more. He assumed his silence pleased her, because she leaned forward then, and kissed him. Jack was so taken aback by the sudden act that he could only just go with it. Kissing her back, he realized just how much he missed Kate, and having her with him. If only things haven't of gone this way, if only he would've been able to save Alex, things would be perfect right now. The thought became so desirous that Jack had to break away. He couldn't live a lie. But when he tried to back away, Kate only held him closer, and they became caught in some sort of half kiss, with Jack letting his head rest against her cheek, vice versa.

"Forgive me," Jack choked out in a whisper.

He felt Kate shake her head slightly against him.

"No," she protested, "you don't need to be forgiven for anything."

Jack wanted to protest, but Kate's arm wrapped around his shoulder, holding him still. For what felt like an enternity they stayed there like that, and the thought of perfection began creeping back to horizon in Jack's mind. He felt so confussed, so torn, that he allowed himself to get lost in that moment, hoping that doing so would make everything disapear.

"Hate to interrupt such a _precious_ moment here.."

Jack closed his eyes at Sawyer's voice, determined not to go off, while Kate let out a stiffled laugh.

"But I was just walkin' through and decided I needed to do my daily good deed," Sawyer finished, "catch."

Scooting slightly away from Jack, Kate caught an orange just before it could reach the floor.

"Nice one," Sawyer complimented with a sly grin. He glanced towards Jack, who hadn't moved since the interruption. Looking down towards the floor, Jack was being unwillingly welcomed back into his troubles. "He gonna eat?"

"He'll eat," Kate promised, looking sympathetically towards Jack.

"Good," Sawyer said in a huff, "because Rebecca's been on my case about you two all day."

Kate rolled her eyes, though she was flattered that people were so concerned about them. Especially people they hardly know.

"Tell Rebecca we're fine," Kate said.

Sawyer glanced towards Jack, and Kate could've sworn she saw guilt, if not sympathy, flash in his eyes. But as always with Sawyer, it was gone as soon as it came.

"Yeah," Sawyer said, looking around, "well, take it easy."

"Thanks," she replied quietly, offering him a small smile as he left.

Kate looked back down at the orange.

"Want to eat?" She asked Jack.

Her stomach grumbled then, as though she suddenly remembered she hadn't eaten in days. She could vaguely remember Michelle trying to get her to eat before, but she also remembered turning her down. Jack didn't reply. Looking down, Kate couldn't help but to feel hurt and even slightly angry at Sawyer. Things were really starting to lighten up, and now..Shaking her head, Kate began to peel the orange, and offered a piece to Jack. Jack took it, but only stared at it. She was hungry, but Kate paused before taking own piece, studying Jack, trying to decipher what was going through his mind. The kiss made her feel a little better, and just the fact that Jack wasn't yelling for her to leave again lifted her spirits a little, but it was obvious Jack still blamed himself. Across from her Jack sat, looking much like he did the day before when he was still out of it. But he also looked tired, and Kate once again felt guilty for walking in on his sleep.

"You should get some rest," Kate said, brushing a hand against his shoulder as she stood.

Sitting the orange on the cart nearby, Kate watched Jack for a reaction.

"I wasn't sleeping, you know," Jack said at least.

Kate bit back a sigh of relief and chuckled.

"Sure," she said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Really," Jack looked up. Suddenly he looked to be in a better mood, which boosted Kate's optimism a little more. "I was just resting..with my eyes closed."

"Right," Kate nodded. "Well I'm going to go make sure Sawyer makes it back. You know, he doesn't get lost, he just sometimes goes in the wrong direction."

The joke earned a chuckled from Jack, and in that moment, it was almost like things were back to normal. They were kidding around, and even laughing and smiling. Tears hadn't formed in their eyes yet, but the mood was light again. And light was good. Light meant that there was a chance, that there was hope. And suddenly, Kate didn't want to walk away from that so soon.

"You know what?" She said, walking back towards the cot. "Sawyer's just going to have to learn to ask for directions."

Jack snorted. Kate said down beside him, and smiled. But just like that, the lightness was gone. Jack's face fell suddenly, and shortly after Kate's.

"I just can't believe it's only been a day," Jack said. He looked up, his face contorted in awe. "I mean, I feel like I should be making funeral plans, or calling realitives.." his eyes fell on Kate again, "but I've already done all that."

Kate's hands found Jack's, and she gave it a squeez.

"You're doing a great job," she said reassuingly, "it's going to take time."

Jack shook his head.

"We don't have time," he said, "we don't know if we're going to be here tomorrow, next week, or even in a few hours."

"Way to be optimistic," Kate said lightly, though she knew it was true.

"And I don't want to think that maybe someday we won't be together," Jack went on, "and I don't want that to happen."

Once again Kate felt flattered, flattered that Jack cared so much about her that he worried himself sick. But at the same time, she felt that she could take care of herself and didn't want him to worry so much.

"That doesn't have to happen," Kate said, her hand tight around Jack's. "It won't."

"But what if I can't save you either?" Jack sounded hearbroken. Kate felt a pit form in her stomach at the question. "I can't let that happen."

Kate knew in these situations there wasn't much she could do to reassure Jack. He'd always put the pressure and blame on himself, and it took the litle things to shake it off.

"You won't," Kate assured him, "and I won't let that happen either."

Their met eyes, and Kate tried desperatly with pleading eyes to get him to believe her, determined that if her words wouldn't get through to him, her emotions would.

"I just don't want to lose you," Jack said at last.

"You won't," Kate said quietly, "I promise."

Wrapping her arms around him, she hugged him and held him close. Closing her eyes, Kate tried to picture a perfect life together with Jack, away from death, away from the island. She tried to picture him taking her to a nice restaurant, or placing a golden chain around her neck. Though it seemed selfish, Kate could just picture Jack as that kind of guy, and it was relieving. It was relieving to know that once apon of time he was that guy, but also frightening to think of reality. What if they got rescued? What about her crime? Could she escape again? But what about staying with Jack? She squeezed her eyes tightly, and could only pray that it wouldn't come down to that choice. Jack or freedom. Here, on the island, they were the same thing, but out there, in the real world..

"Kate?" She heard Jack ask weakly.

Kate almost smiled. It was like Jack knew it was the perfect time to break into her thoughts; like he knew that something was troubling with her.

"Yeah?" Kate asked against him.

"You're suffocating me."

Letting out a laugh, Kate broke away, and pulled back some fallen hair. Jack looked at her in concern.

"Do you still feel okay?" He asked her.

Kate nodded.

"Good." Jack nodded as well. "You still tired?"

She never admited being tired in the first place, but Kate nodded as well, being truthful. Shifting positions, Jack lay back against the wall. Inviting herself over Kate did the same, scooting into Jack's arms. He put his arm aroung her, letting Kate rest against his chest. She was tired, and as soon as her head hit him, Kate felt her eyes droop to a close. She could only hope that at least in her sleep, her dreams- and her hopes- could continue.

**Author's Note:** I am sooo sorry for the wait! I've been sick and in a crabby mood, so I haven't felt like writing. Also, I had the hardest time ending that chapter, so I hope it was okay. Things just kept popping in my head and it seems like I've been ending this for days! Thanks for the reviews! You guys rock!

**Coming up, on "In the End":**

I'm not exactly sure, but I know something's up with someone, and some relationships are about to change. I'm going to try and work some more with Sawyer and Rebecca and don't worry, Danielle's not going anywhere. I think. And the radio thing? For all I know, I've already dealt with that plot, but I'm conjuring up one. We'll also learn why Locke wasn't at the funeral, and it has something to do with his weird cast thing.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	31. Solitaire?

In the End

Chapter Thirty-One

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much for the reviews!

**Chapter Thirty-One:** Solitaire?

"How's the game?" Rebecca asked Sawyer as she stepped into his tent.

Despite the pouring down rain, she insisted on running to grab some fresh waters. Heavy raindrops from the expected storm pounded against the tarp overhead, sheltering Sawyer from the rain as he dealt out another card for solitaire. Nearby waves splashed, fighting to get away from the breeze that pushed them against the shore. Rebecca shivered in the cold, wrapping her arms around herself tightly.

"If you're cold, get a jacket," Sawyer snapped, annoyed.

Startled, Rebecca gaped at his tone. Her arms still crossed, Rebecca opened her mouth to retaliate, but she quickly closed it, noting that Sawyer didn't seem too intune to reality at all. Though his eyes were usually cold and critical, now more than ever Sawyer seemed back to his old self, unwilling to compromise with anyone about anything. He was constantly distant, only speaking in terms of snaps and sarcasm; and if possible, it was worse than ever. Others were noticing as well, but they chose to ignore instead of interfering. Rebecca, on the other hand didn't want to just ignore him, because she knew this was just his way of pushing people away, and it wasn't healthy. But what she didn't want to do was scare him with accusations and concern. For now, she decided ignoring- just a little bit of ignoring- was the right thing to do, for Sawyer's sake. She didn't want to push him too quickly. It was only the day after, after all.

Instead of commenting, Rebecca settled down in the sand near Sawyer, watching as he placed cards down in rows of patterns she didn't understand. The game reminded her of the old song "Solitaire", and at the memory she subconsciously began to whistle the tune. She watched Sawyer carefully, half-expecting a reaction. After a few notes recognition stopped Sawyer, and he held a card in midair before sitting it down.

"Do you know that song?" Rebecca asked carefully.

An idea was slowly forming in her head. Maybe if the song was something Sawyer could relate to, he'd take it to heart and realize what he was doing.

"Alex liked Billy Joel," Sawyer commented randomly, speaking lowly as if afraid of being heard.

Rebecca's set expression softened sympathetically. She wanted him to talk about the loss of Alex, but once he mentioned it only made Rebecca herself feel worse. But she had to be strong for him.

"I'm sorry," Rebecca whispered, not sure what else she could say that wouldn't set him off.

"It's just a comment," Sawyer shot, "no need to be sorry 'bout it."

Her eyes watered as she watched him go back to his game, establishing his own life in terms of numbers and symbols. She remained silent as she watched him, not helping but to note that a single card of hearts hadn't been put down. Rebecca found herself contemplating the insane theory of the hearts set being hidden somewhere, maybe at the bottom of a suitcase or inside a book. But even Sawyer wasn't that deep.

Lightening suddenly flashed around them, and Rebecca felt her heart jump in surprise. Sawyer never flinched.

"Maybe we should go to the caves," she said, her voice beginning to shake in fear.

Ever since she was a kid she'd never been good with storms of any kind. She never had anyone there to calm her or tell her it'd be okay, so there was nothing stopping Rebecca from thinking the world could be swept away in sixty seconds. Secretly she wondered if Sawyer wasn't in such a mood, would he try and comfort her right now?

"We're fine," Sawyer replied bitterly just as thunder clapped loudly over head, followed immediately by more lightening.

"Sawyer-"

Abruptly Sawyer jumped up, throwing his cards down. He stormed out of the shelter, ignoring the raging storm. Rebecca looked around desperately, but she was only confirmed with her worst fear: they were alone with this. She had no choice but to follow him, swallowing her horrific past storm experiences.

"We need to get out of the rain!" Rebecca shouted to him over the wind.

The smell of salt was heavy in the air as rain blew in a freezing breeze around them, letting thunder be it's echoing effect. His feet traveling roughly across the sand away from her, Sawyer let out a curse as he didn't find what he had been searching in his pockets for. This gave Rebecca a chance to catch up with him, grabbing his hand just as he punched the air furiously.

"You need to calm down," she instructed, worried.

She searched his face as his eyes avoided hers, desperately trying to find some kind of solution.

"Don't tell me what I need to do!" Sawyer finally shot, a little late in the moment as he jerked Rebecca's hand away.

Already they were drenched, covered head to toe in the freezing water. Rebecca could feel her hair becoming slightly heavier with the weight of the rain, though Sawyer didn't seemed at all bothered by the water dripping from his own hair. She finally had to look away as Sawyer continued to keep to himself, his hands dug deep into his pockets. Around them the rain calmed a little, growing softer in a graceful fall. It was quieter now, as if knowing one should be pushed towards confession. But when Sawyer did open his mouth again, he said the last thing she ever expected to hear out of him:

"Do you think dead people know?"

"Know what?" She said, blank and puzzled.

"When it rains," Sawyer finished. For once he sounded sincere about his question, as curious as a kid wondering why the sky was blue. "Do you think dead people know when it rains?"

She looked at him, completely taken aback by the question.

"I don't know," Rebecca finally replied, stuttering. "Sawyer, where is this coming from?"

"I knew it," he muttered bitterly, glaring down to the sand.

"You knew it?" Rebecca repeated, incredulous. "Sawyer, you're standing here asking me if dead people know when it rains!" He didn't reply, only stood there, glaring to no one as though he were furious with himself for being caught. "What's going on with you? Why won't you talk to me?"

Watching him, Rebecca waited desperately for a reply. Anything. More questions about the dead would've even have been fine, as long as Rebecca could somehow be insured that the rest of their lives weren't going to be spent in silence and pity. Assuming their would be a 'rest of their lives'. What if Sawyer suddenly had some kind of epiphany or some kind of rebellion against the world? What if he left her? Rebecca began to shake a little in the cold, but more because of fear and worry. She shivered, praying she'd get through to him sometime soon.

"I hate storms," Sawyer mumbled to himself, but when he realized Rebecca heard him, he went on. He hadn't just standing there, being watched. "I hid under the bed for three days after my parents.." he trailed off, swallowing hard and closing his eyes. When he opened them, out of the corner of his eye he could see Rebecca still watching him; listening to him. "They looked for me, but no one thought to check under the bed-" Sawyer snorted, "ironic huh?"

Rebecca didn't think so. She actually found herself feeling mad at the police. Who knew what he went through during those three days? Did anyone even care that he was missing? Was there anyone left to care? She found herself holding back tears at the thought.

"You must've starved," she commented lightly.

To her surprise, Sawyer snorted.

"Nah," he said in his normal comic tone, "I had two years worth of Halloween candy over there. The only day someone like me could go into town and actually come back with something. Could've lived under that bed."

"Right," Rebecca remarked, now becoming a little grateful of the right move.

"Seriously," Sawyer said, "haven't ate another Snickers since. Scout's honor."

"Like you were a scout," she muttered.

Sawyer let out a huff.

"You'd be surprised," Sawyer said, "my mom wanted the best for me, even if it meant dressing me in stupid little uniforms with _kleenex_ around the neck."

Rebecca couldn't help but to laugh.

"I think they're called bandanas," Rebecca smirked, trying not to picture Sawyer in one of those blue boy scout uniforms. She'd never stop laughing.

But at the same time, she was feeling a little jealous towards Sawyer. She lived her entire life fending for herself, never having anyone who wanted the best for her, or wanted anything for her for that matter. However, she wasn't entirely cold-hearted. Rebecca actually felt relieved knowing that at one time in Sawyer's life, at least he had someone who was there for him.

"She was the reason I was under the bed in the first place," Sawyer went on quietly.

Suddenly Rebecca was thinking maybe that wasn't the only occasion where Sawyer had to hide under the bed.

"Guess I got pretty damn lucky," he finished.

His glare was gone, soften now into a distant stare as he concluded his story, the rain settling down to a drizzle.

"I don't think he would've killed you," Rebecca told him softly, reassuringly.

"The man killed himself on top of me," Sawyer said, "somethin's telling me he wasn't feeling too sympathetic at the moment."

"But he was drunk, right?" Rebecca said defensively, though she had no idea why she was trying to defend this man. Maybe she thought that if Sawyer wouldn't be so mad..after all, that was the saying, right? You can't hate someone who's dead. Maybe there were exceptions.

"There wasn't a time he was not drunk," Sawyer retaliated with a snort. "He'd come home every night four hours past my bedtime and complained about a splitting headache in the mornin'. I was dense enough as a kid to think he was getting sick."

Rebecca listened to him with sympathetic admiration. Sawyer never poured out his soul like this, not unless it was by force. It was like the rain had some kind of calming affect on him, or maybe it was sending anxious vibes to free his subconscious mind. Whichever the reason, Rebecca was grateful for it.

"But forget it," Sawyer said, quickly brushing off the confession, becoming aware of how mentally vulnerable he was, "that was twenty years ago."

Studying him, Rebecca tried to decipher the best way to approach his sudden change. Should she accept it? Deny it? For starters, she decided to play it safe.

"I'm sorry about Alex," Rebecca said at last, ripping Sawyer from his escape of a pause.

"Don't be," Sawyer snapped in the same tone as he had done with the mention of Billy Joel.

"You can't blame yourself," Rebecca attempted, only to be shot at once more.

"I don't."

She stared at him for a moment in wonder.

"You don't blame Jack, do you?"

The way her voice sounded even annoyed Rebecca herself. It was now beyond boyfriend and girlfriend. Now it was doctor and patient, a third degree given as a charge of punishment for silence. She never liked being given one herself, and she hated grilling Sawyer like this.

"_No_."

Sawyer moaned the word like a child trying to convince his mother he didn't do anything wrong at school. He was looking away from her again, presumingly annoyed by her questions.

"Just tell me you're okay," Rebecca begged helplessly.

At last Sawyer looked up, meeting pleading her eyes. She let him give himself a moment to really search them, hoping he'd see her emotion.

"I'm okay," Sawyer promised quietly.

Letting their gaze linger, the two let the rain fall gently around them before thinking to start the conversation again. These minutes with no words seemed to be the most heart-feeling, if you were able to understand the emotion within them. With silence, you neither had to deny or accept what was given, but you could contemplate the options without the pressure of fast thinking and quick wit. Rebecca figured at least that part would be more helpful to Sawyer than herself.

"Forget this," Sawyer said, finally breaking their contact, "come on."

He pulled her arm to drag her towards the jungle, a place where- especially after Alex's death- Rebecca felt very torn to go to.

"What?" She cried as he began dragging her away. "Sawyer-"

"Trust me," Sawyer said, flashing a grin.

With a chuckle of a menenceful laugh Sawyer pulled her into the jungle, leaving Rebecca to chase after him as he tore down a path she didn't recognize.

"Come on, woman!" Sawyer complained a few feet ahead of her. "Keep up!"

She could still hear him laughing to himself over the rain, which bounced off the jungle leaves in echoing splashes. Mud flew from their feet as they ran, ruining their shoes and staining their clothes.

_These are my good jeans,_ Rebecca couldn't help but to point out in a groan to herself.

Sawyer, on the other hand, didn't seem to have a problem with running through the rain. He seemed to be a pro at it, in fact, gracefully dodging puddles of water. All of a sudden he seemed so much more child-like, full of life. A very unSawyerlike characteristic. What the hell was going on?

After what felt like miles of running Sawyer slowed down, letting Rebecca follow him in a trudge to where he was creeping along the jungle.

"Okay, what the hell-"

"Sh!" Sawyer immediately whispered, bringing a finger to his lips.

Taking her hand he led her around the bushes. She finally decided to trust him, and began taking in her surroundings instead. Once she really began studying the place, Rebecca could see that the path they were on was very worn, covered with fresh footprints- multiple sets of them.

"Sawyer, what-"

He jerked her around towards him, sending Rebecca crashing into his chest breathlessly.

"You've got to swear to me you won't tell anyone," Sawyer said in a voice so low she had to fight to hear over the rain; which she realized was more closer now. She was beginning to feel the moister through the thick humidity drawing in over the rainstorm.

"Sawyer-" Rebecca tried again, trailing off. Was this one of those secret hiding place type of things?

"Promise me."

Unlike before, there was no joke in his eyes as Sawyer kept a close grip on her. She finally agreed, partially just afraid of what he'd do if she didn't.

"Okay," Rebecca nodded, pulling herself together, "I promise."

"You'll promise what?"

Rebecca stared at him.

"I promise I won't tell."

She was fighting to keep her patience now, frustrated and itching to know what was going on. What secrets were Sawyer holding? He studied her for a moment, like he actually didn't believe her, but just when she was about to speak up against him, he gave her a nod.

"All right," he said, "Sayid'll kill me if he finds out."

Sayid? What did he have to do with this? And did Jack know?

"Just promise me you won't scream," Sawyer said to her, a little more lightly before.

"You didn't murder someone out here, did you?" Rebecca asked him with a nervous chuckle.

Sawyer didn't reply. He began creeping forward again, clutching her hand tightly as they made their way in what was found to be a clearing. It was all Rebecca could do to keep from asking questions, so to help herself she tried to think back to her weeks with Sawyer, attempting to recall any odd behaviors or disappearances. She couldn't. There was, however, the factor of Sayid, who most noticeably wasn't around as much as he used to be.

She didn't even notice the opening of the path until she bumped into Sawyer when he stopped. Stepping aside, he gave Rebecca full eye to what it was he was hiding. Whatever it was. In the middle of the clearing sat an opening to what looked like a doorway..a hatch. There was a hard cover over it, sprinkled with jungle to make the spot in the ground look more natural. What the hell was that thing?

"Sawyer.." she began. She couldn't even find the words to ask. "What is this thing?"

Sawyer's grin came back, and it made her feel a little better. He's just taking precautions, she told herself, whatever this thing is, not many people must know. And if they found out..Rebecca swallowed nervously in thoughts of what they could do to him for concealing this.

"You'll see," he said playfully.

Already he was carefully picking up the door, placing it beside the whole. Darkness shown from below, like a luming tunnel just waiting to be investigated.

"After you," Sawyer said with a grin.

Rebecca's face fell into fear.

"What?" She stuttered.

"Come on," Sawyer teased, "what are you, scared?"

She scrawled, and as she walked towards the whole Rebecca mentally kicked herself for being so giving to him. Once she reached the whole she just stared at it, trying to see some kind of puddle, light, anything that could help her detect how long the passage down was.

"Seventh step's broken," Sawyer warned from beside her.

He was sitting on the ground, ready to assist her departure.

"You're serious about this?" Rebecca tried to cover up her terror with disbelief.

As a kid she never was a scary movie person, and secret passageways definitely weren't her thing.

"Hell yeah!" Sawyer exclaimed. "And this is just the beginning."

He winked, and suddenly Rebecca was sure she didn't want to find out what that meant. Nevertheless she swallowed again, and somehow she managed to lower herself down into the whole, fighting her fears. Sawyer was now above her, her legs dangling against some kind of steal ladder.

"Sawyer, I swear-"

"Anyone ever tell you you were too much?" Sawyer cut in.

_You're the one to talk,_ Rebecca thought, remembering Sawyer's too cautious behavior after her minor heart-attack. Not that she wasn't flattered by it.

Bending down he kissed her, and he offered her another smile. Rebecca kissed him back quickly, too worried about what lay below to deepen it. She took a last look back down the hatch.

"You'll be right behind me?" She asked him, her voice wavering with nerves.

"You bet," Sawyer reassured, foot already closer towards the hole in preparation, "light's at the end."

He winked again. After a long pause, staring at the darkness, Rebecca finally felt her hand leave Sawyer's. She didn't know why she was doing this, and she was slightly surprised in her trust in him. As she slowly descended down the hole, Rebecca contemplated their trust, still shaken by the ever-so-graceful way he had of taking control of it. Yet there was still this look in his eyes, something about him that told Rebecca it was okay to trust him this much. He wasn't playing her.

"Seventh step!" He bellowed to her from above.

She jumped at his voice, and shivered at the way it echoed through the tunnel.

"Almost there," he assured her, "why didn't you ever tell me you were a rock climber?"

"Because I didn't grow up in the Appalachians!" Rebecca shot back at him, her hands still trembling with each step above she left.

Right on time the rain eased to a closing as they lowered themselves into the hatch, the sun quickly following and peeking through the clouds above. But through the darkness, even just the jungle floor seemed miles away. Momentarily she forgot that they were even on the island..the hatch seemed to have an odd side affect on her emotions. Already it was beginning to scare her.

Ages later her feet hit the bottom. The floor, from what it felt like, was dirt. Hard and solid. As her eyes adjusted she could barely make out that something was scattered across the ground. Something that looked oddly like..computer parts? Ahead of her she noticed there was another passageway, and she briefly wondered if that's where they were going. Before she could ask she felt Sawyer's hand on hers. She had completely missed his footsteps hitting the ground, but already she was feeling a little bit safer. He turned her towards him.

"Take off your jacket," he instructed to her.

At first she had to think. Jacket? Then she remembered the lightweight over-shirt she started wearing once it became cooler.

"Why?" Rebecca asked curiously.

But already Sawyer was picking it off her, and instead of asking questions Rebecca was forced to help him peel it off. He took it in his hands, folding it but being careful not to wring the water out.

"Like I said," Sawyer began, "Sayid'll kill me..this'll be cold." Just as he said it Rebecca shivered as she felt the damp jacket being placed over her eyes and wrapped around her head. Any source of light she had before was cut off, and suddenly Rebecca felt very cold, noting not only the dampness of the cloth, but also the dampness of the hatch's atmosphere. "And besides, what's the point of a surprise if you can't see it first?"

"Oh," Rebecca said uncertainly, "so there's a surprise involved."

Sawyer chuckled.

"Watch your step."

Of course she couldn't, and as Sawyer momentarily forgot this she stumbled into a puddle.

"Sawyer!" She hissed through the darkness.

"Sorry," he whispered to her, though he sounded more excited than apologetic.

Doing her best to clear her mind, Rebecca tried to picture the room through the thick cloth.

"Can you breathe okay?" Sawyer now sounded worried, paranoid.

Rebecca nodded. Even through the damp jacket she could see teeny lights before her eyes, blinding the pupils only used to seeing colors in terms of beaches and jungle with red rays. Her head was beginning to spin, and she was just about to mention this when Sawyer spoke up.

"Right through here," he muttered more to himself than Rebecca, as if reminding himself of directions.

A door creaked open as Rebecca was shoved into a room, more playfully than forcefully. Then it closed. Florescent light buzzed above from a faulty bulb, giving the room a blue tent. But Rebecca wasn't able to see it clearly until the jacket was untied from her and thrown to the side. She blinked, letting her eyes adjust, and gasps as she saw where they were. A food pantry. In front of her, Sawyer was grinning like mad.

"What did I say?" Sawyer stated happily. "Am I good?" Swiftly he reached forward, pulling Rebecca into a kiss. "Or am I good?"

"You're good," Rebecca admitted, kissing him back.

This time, she let the kiss deepen, too amazed by his secret to do otherwise. Sawyer didn't seem at all bothered by the decision, letting Rebecca balance herself against the wall as he kissed her again. The smell of food finally got to her by the third kiss, and Rebecca had to back away. Sawyer watched her, practically pouting as she did.

"Food," she reminded him with a smile.

At the mention of real food, Sawyer couldn't help but to grin as well, and he grabbed a bag of chips from one of the shelves, tearing it open.

(space)

Why did she always come back to him? Michelle asked herself the question for the hundredth time as she counted the thousandth wave that came in that day. Earlier she was so set on independence, so ready to write the law. So anxious to become someone else. But she had been caught. Of course she had, he was always right there. Right there. If she were to stub her toe or cut her finger, Sebastian would be right there with peroxide and bandages, and perhaps even a steak to murder whatever harmless thing the stepped on. Only to herself did she admit that she was actually surprise he didn't attack Jack when he interfered.

"What did he say about your wrist?" Sebastian asked, cutting into her thoughts.

He was sitting closely, pretending to be interested in an old magazine. The article read '10 ways to brighten your day by 9 AM!'. So bouncy and insightful. Here on the island, by nine am someone was mostly likely dead, and another coming back from a recent kidnapping.

"Jack said it was only a sprain," Michelle replied, heavily emphasizing Jack's name.

It had clearly been made clear that Sebastian didn't like anyone but himself having any part in caring for Michelle. She'd always was grateful for that- was still grateful for that- but at the same time..she didn't know. Truthfully. It wasn't that she didn't like having Sebastian being there for her, she supposed it was the toll it was taking on Sebastian himself. She didn't like bringing him down.

"So it'll heal?" Sebastian asked, flipping a page of the magazine with obvious added force.

Michelle closed her eyes, determined to keep her patience.

"Yeah," she said, "it'll heal."

"Good," Sebastian said, relieved, "I was worried about you, you know."

A snort escaped her before she could stop it.

"Why, because I was in a cave with Jack?" Michelle responded.

Sebastian peered at her over the magazine.

"No," Sebastian replied dryly, "because of your wrist."

Michelle looked down, embarrassed and ashamed. Maybe Sebastian wasn't so possessive of her after all. Maybe it was just in her mind.

"I was going to say I'm sorry," Sebastian went on, sounding hurt.

Her stomach noted at her misunderstanding, and Michelle regretted her comment so much tears stung at her eyes. What was she doing? What had she become? Maybe it was just better to be nothing, sitting there and letting the world go by. Maybe trying was too risky after all. Sebastian appeared behind her from scooting across the sand silently. She shuddered at the sound of the approach, but forced herself to calm down.

"I'm worried about you," Sebastian said quietly into her ear. The sound of his voice made her freeze in the moment, and Michelle found herself unable to take her eyes off the sea. She wanted to turn to him, to finally breakdown, to cry into his shoulder, because he'd sit there and listen. But she couldn't. Swallowing she hold her breath, tears gradually becoming harder to control. "You scare me."

"I'm sorry," Michelle whispered, the urge to break down growing more fierce with the first word.

Immediately Sebastian's hand was on her shoulder, holding her as she stared out to sea. With one hand he gently took her hurt wrist, and though she winced at the touch Michelle was able to adapt to the hold, letting Sebastian run a finger over the bandage.

"You don't have to be sorry," she heard him whisper.

At that they were magically at some mutual understanding. He cared about her, and that was it. There was nothing she could do about it and, frankly, Michelle knew she was lucky to even have that care. After what she did to him..she shook her head, trying to make the thought escape.

"Don't," Sebastian said at the move, holding her head closely to his chest to stop her.

_"Go ahead, tell him his name," Sebastian urged to Michelle, who sat in the seat beside him._

_Across from them the cop waited. Earlier he had been patient and sympathetic, but now that was clearly slipping. Once Sebastian finally convinced Michelle to go to the police he was sure he could solve this, put it behind them. But that wasn't the case. Michelle refused to speak a word if she could help it._

_"It's okay," Sebastian said reassuringly, though with an obvious rush of excitement, "he won't get to you. But if you tell, then we can lock him up, and we can stop."_

_"Stop what?" The cop across from them asked._

_Sebastian kept his eyes on a smudge on the desk's word, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. He curst himself for slipping._

_"He only beat me up," Michelle whimpered for the dozenth time that day._

_"I know," Sebastian promised, "I know and I promise I believe you. But if you just tell the cop what happened-"_

_"Don't make it sound like I'm some Law and Order episode!" Michelle shouted suddenly, startling both Sebastian and the people around him. "Nothing happened! He hit me!" Aware of the stares she was receiving, Michelle wrapped her arms more tightly around herself- a habit she had grown accustomed to- and lowered her voice. "That's all."_

_Sebastian studied her, hoping for more, but Michelle became silent again. He sighed, knowing he'd get nothing else out of her for days. Across from them, the cop furrowed his eyebrows._

_"Sir, if we can schedule a more convenient time.."_

_"No," Sebastian cut in, standing up. "Come on."_

_The cop watched, clearly interested, as Michelle stood up and followed Sebastian out of the room, ignoring the curious stares watching her, and the throbbing cut on her head._

"So what is this place?" Rebecca asked, scooping up some chocolate pudding with a spoon she found in a bag of plastic utensils.

Around them sat now-empty bags of chips, cases of can drinks, candy bars wrappers, and half-eaten snack foods. They were so excited about making the rounds on all the food in the room that they hadn't been able to finish a complete snack by themselves.

"Trust me," Sawyer said, catching some coke that drizzled from his mouth before it hit the floor. To Rebecca's surprised Sawyer insisted on keeping the place clean, which he said was to hide their tracks. Forget the empty bags and wrappers. "You don't want to know."

Rebecca snorted as she ate another spoonful of chocolate.

"You have got to try some of this pudding," she said, nearly jumping in excitement for it.

"I think I've tried pudding before," Sawyer said, going back to eating his chips.

"Not like this," Rebecca said with a smile, "come on." Sawyer shook his head, growing annoyed. "Please? For me?"

Fluttering her eyelids Rebecca tried her best 'puppy dog' face, pushing Sawyer to his limit.

"Fine," he said, snatching the spoon from her. She stared at him. "You didn't think I'd let you feed it to me, did you?"

She rolled her eyes, letting Sawyer try the pudding. Lifting the chocolate to his mouth, Sawyer studied it before shoving it down his throat, swallowing the sweet taste of coca he'd never thought he'd experience again.

"It's good," Sawyer admitted.

Rebecca smiled, satisfied.

"If you're Tommy Pickles," Sawyer finished with a grin.

With a laugh of disbelief at the comment, Rebecca slapped his shoulder.

"You know," Rebecca said as she threw some cereal into her mouth, "we're going to have stomachaches for weeks."

"Yeah," Sawyer said, "well we'll just tell Jack that we downed too many of his Flinestone vitamins."

Rebecca laughed louder than she normally would've. Both of them were beginning to take on the appearance of a drunk couple.

"Come on," she said, "Jack doesn't have any of those."

Sawyer's eyes twinkled.

"You wanna bet?"

Rebecca's laugh was cut off from a crash outside the room, and both of them immediately stopped eating. Muttering a curse underneath his breath, Sawyer jumped up and walked quietly over to the door to listen.

"Who is it?" Rebecca whispered, pulling her jacket (now dry), further up on her shoulders.

Silencing her, Sawyer listened as the footsteps finally disappeared.

"Come on," Sawyer whispered to her, pulling Rebecca off the ground.

"Where are we going?" Rebecca asked him, reluctant to leave the food behind, though already she was feeling sick from the sudden food intake.

Carefully Sawyer pushed the door opened, and Rebecca let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding when it didn't make as much as a creak.

"There has to be a back door somewhere," Sawyer said to himself, looking up and down the backhall of the hatch.

Doors lined the narrow hallway, lightened by a red emergency glow coming from the lower walls. The back was just as damp as the main room, and suddenly Rebecca was very grateful that her jacket dried. Though she was certain he didn't know where they were going, Rebecca followed Sawyer down the long hall to where, sure enough, a rusted door stood in the back. It looked old, as if it hadn't been pushed open in ages. And there was good reason. Sawyer tried multiple times to push it open, resulting to throwing his weight against it. At last he had to back away, rubbing his sore shoulder, his old bullet wound creeping up on him in pain.

"Maybe there's another way," Rebecca whispered.

Sawyer ignored her, and once again threw himself against the door. This time he was successful, and the heavy exited scooted open. Quickly they scurried out, and as quietly as possible, closed the door back. Looking back at it, they saw there was no handle to the entrance. They also saw that they were in some kind of jungle alcove, hidden by the trees around them. Branches scratched at them as they crawled out onto the path, and Sawyer looked around, trying to figure out where they were. He looked back momentarily for the hatch door, but there was no trace that the jungle had even been bothered. _Amazing stuff, _he admitted to himself.

"Lost?" An approaching voice asked suddenly, breaking their near-successful secret escape.

Nearly jumping out of his skin, Sawyer had little time to mask an innocent face before turning to face Locke.

"No," Sawyer called to him as Locke walked towards them, "we just went in the wrong direction."

Behind him Rebecca rolled her eyes, and he nudged her with her elbow. She glared, but she didn't say anything.

"Oh," said Locke, spitting an orange peel from his mouth and into the jungle. Sawyer made a mental note to check the land later for more of those peels. Maybe Locke was hiding more than even Sayid and Boone knew. "That explains it."

Sawyer wanted to snap back, say something to him in his own defense, but he managed to hold back.

"Found this in the jungle," Locke said after a long pause, "though it might interest you."

He could feel Rebecca's eyes staring with him as they watched Locke pull a piece of paper out of his pockets. A piece of paper he knew too well. His letter. The same on they threw out far into the jungle days ago. The same one both he and Rebecca secretly saw in hallucination following. Perhaps you couldn't throw out the past after all. Fighting to keep a straight, blank, face, Sawyer took it.

"I didn't read it," Locke assured, reading Sawyer's mind. As the two stood there, staring at the crumbled letter in Sawyer's hand. It looked like someone attempted to smooth it out. "Guess you took shelter from the storm." Sawyer looked up at the comment. "You're not wet."

"Neither are you," Sawyer retorted, making the same observation.

Locke smiled, as if just realizing this himself. As if just realizing his mistake.

"It appears so," Locke offered. Readjusting the straps on his backpack, Locke tossed the last of the fruit. "Have a nice day."

With a nod he left, walking past the alcove. There was no doubt in Sawyer's mind Locke would be returning to it later.

"That guy's a creep," Rebecca commented when Locke was out of earshot.

"Tell me about it," Sawyer said. He looked down at his letter. Rebecca was watching his every move, he knew, and right now he thought the safest action was to pocket it. "Let's go."

"Sawyer-"

Just as he thought. To show his feelings he walked on, ignoring her concern.

(space)

The next morning Jack and Kate stirred from where they fell asleep the previous night, propped up against the wall of their cave. Though it was crowded, the Jack's cot seemed more welcoming than the floor these days, and that's usually where at least one of them fell asleep.

"Hey," Jack greeted as Kate's eyes fluttered open.

"Hey," she replied with a small smile.

Only in Jack's arms was she able to close her eyes, and only in Jack's arms was she able to block out the pictures and screams her mind offered in the darkness. But as soon as she drifted further into sleep, the nightmares came, just as they did with Jack.

"We seem to be doing this a lot," Jack commented.

"What?" Kate wondered outloud.

"Sleeping."

Kate let out a laugh.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," she pouted.

Personally she was relieved that Jack was getting rest, though she knew he hadn't really slept in days, if not weeks. It pained her to know this, and to know the reason why. Giving her a shy smile, Jack kissed her, greeting her to a new day. The thought almost frightened her, knowing what happened to them previously all in one day.

"Hungry?" Jack asked her, lifting himself off the wall.

Kate let him scoot by as he reseated himself on the edge of the cot, staring momentarily down at the floor.

"Actually-"

She moved to sit up herself, but as soon as she tried a wave of dizziness swirled through her, forcing Kate back down. Her stomach suddenly turned upside down, and Kate's head pounded in response.

"Kate?" Said Jack, who was immediately at her side.

Quickly able to diagnose the symptoms, Jack spilled the contents of a bucket onto the ground, thrusting it to Kate just as got sick. Coughing and sputtering, Kate fought to control her breath, and despite the new smell of the room, once again Jack was right there by her side, rubbing her back soothingly. At last she caught her breath, her hair clinging to her forehead in pools of sweat.

"You okay?" Jack asked her, concerned.

Kate nodded. She was embarrassed; it was the first time she'd ever gotten sick in front of Jack. The fact that he was a doctor and probably used to it eased her mind a little, but Kate was still suddenly uncomfortable despite his calming efforts. She knew she was being studied, and sure enough Jack spoke up only moment later.

"How long has this been going on?" Jack asked her in a doctor's tone, remembering yesterday's similar incident. She didn't answer. She didn't want him to know. "Kate?"

His eyes watched her anxiously, and Kate felt small in his presence. What would he say?

"Five days," Kate whispered, barely audible.

"Five-" Jack ran a hand over his head in attempts to calm himself down. That was one of the reasons he chopped off his hair in the first place- too much stress. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Kate refused to look at his eyes and refused to answer. Jack sighed, knowing his outburst wasn't helping matters.

"Have you been feelings nauseated?" Jack asked her. "Dizzy?"

Kate didn't reply at first, but when Jack didn't either she knew she had to ask.

"You think I'm pregnant," Kate stated dreadfully, staring to the ground.

The question came out as more of a comment, making it sound like one of Kate's own fears. And it was. It was something she constantly worried about- especially over the past few days- though she didn't have the guts to mention it to Jack.

"There's only one way to find out," Jack said at last.

His small amusement from before was gone, and Jack was more serious than she'd seen him in awhile. Sure he'd been choked up and distant over Alex's death, and that scared her, but that was Jack. This was Dr. Sheppard, speaking in that tone that told you something was wrong without him having to come out and say it.

Before Kate knew it she was standing on the beach, arms wrapped around her stomach in attempts to ignore the pain as she chatted with Rebecca and Sawyer to keep them occupied while Jack searched his tent. Honestly Kate didn't know why Sawyer would be keeping a pregnancy test around, but Jack insisted that Sawyer had stolen a lot of supplies over the past months, and you never know. As she talked with the couple, who'd been arguing before she reached them, Kate tried desperately to keep her mind off their new worry.

She was terrified of what could happen, so much that she almost wished the sea would jump out and wash away Sawyer's tent so that they'd never know for sure. Well, eventually she supposed they'd find out. But what scared her most wasn't the changes she'd be undergoing, but Jack. How would he react? Would he want to keep it? Would he help her raise it? And what if they got off the island? Just as Jack approached them, mustering an innocent grin, Kate felt herself getting pale, as though she'd be sick again.

"Hey, "Jack said casually, stealing a kiss from Kate. It surprised her, kissing in public, or in front of others in general, was something they rarely did- especially in front of Sawyer. "You ready?"

Kate nodded. Assuming he just meant ready to go back to the caves, Rebecca and Sawyer nodded in goodbyes, taking no hesitance to go back to their previous argument.

"Like a young married couple," Jack teased.

Why was in he such a good mood? This scared Kate the most. What if he wanted a child and the test was negative? Would he be mad, or even worse, mad at her? Worry about Jack being in such a good mood after what happened yesterday didn't even strike her until much later on.

"You okay?" Jack asked her, looking at her in concern.

She'd noticed Jack zipping up his backpack as soon as they reached the path. He'd found a test.

"I'm about to take a pregnancy test, Jack," Kate retorted, sounding sick and miserable, "how do you expect me to feel?"

"Don't worry," pulling her to him, he kissed her hair, "you'll be fine."

This was seriously starting to worry, and worry was all she could do as Jack led her deep into the jungle, where they could have some privacy.

"So do you want me to-" Jack began when they were far enough out, blushing slightly as he trailed off.

Kate nodded, and Jack gave her arm a squeeze as she disappeared into the jungle.

(space)

Kate told him to wait in the caves. Why she did that, he didn't know, but it gave time for Jack to secretly unleash his true worries. Morning sickness? Pregnancy test? How was it that he let those words become a part of their vocabulary? What if the test was positive? Nine months..who knew what could happen in nine months. And Kate..he'd been in the medical business long enough to know that he never wanted Kate to have to go through that kind of pain. What would the others say? The Others..were they still around? Would they try and come after their baby? A wave of anger upset Jack at the thought, and suddenly he felt more protective than worried. That's what he'd have to do, he decided quickly, protect her. Care for her. Be there for her.

"Jack?"

Her voice came small from the side of the caves, and Jack could've sworn it was someone else who turned him around towards her. There were no words to describe how she looked, or rather, not enough. Nervous. Scared. Anxious. All these words came to mind as she finally began approaching Jack, a sweater thrown over where the test was hidden in her hands.

"Well?" Jack asked her.

He held her breath, preparing himself for anything. Jack was prepared to take it. It was all about Kate now, more than ever.

"I couldn't look," Kate said quietly, apologetically.

Instead of angry Jack found himself relieved. Whatever happened, they'd be able to go through it together.

"How long did the box say to wait?" Jack asked her.

Part of him wanted to buy as much time as possible. Within moments their future could change forever. Jack swallowed, determined to stay strong for Kate.

"Five minutes," Kate replied softly.

She reached him then, and the two stood their opposite each other, taking in the aurora around them. The room was filled with emotion, so many at once. It was amazing after all this time the walls were still standing.

"How long has it been?"

Jack held his breath as he waited for an answer.

"Four."

After a moment he breathed. _4 minutes, one second, _Jack couldn't help but to think to himself. But Jack forced his anxiety away, knowing whatever he was feeling Kate was feeling twice as much. She was the one who had to go through the changes. She was the one who had to go through the emotional phases. She was the one who would have the baby. Their baby. Jack almost smiled at the thought..it had a nice ring to it. Of course, that was assuming the test was positive.

_4 minutes, 10 seconds._

Across from him Kate stood in a state Jack never seen her in before. She looked positively terrified, sick, as if she were taken over by something. Sympathetic Jack reached out to her, taking Kate's arm.

"Whatever happens," Jack began, "I'm here for you."

_4 minutes, 25 seconds._

"I'll be here every step of the way," Jack continued, "I promise."

"And what if it's negative?" Kate asked in a small voice.

Jack's heart fell at the words. What was going through Kate's mind right now? He knew she must be terrified..she looked it. But Jack didn't like hearing Kate say it; it made it sound as if Kate thought all hope for herself was gone. And he didn't want that. He never wanted that.

_4 minutes, 35 seconds._

"Then I'll still be here," Jack assured her quietly.

At first it seemed like Kate accepted his proposal, but she shook her head just as he thought it.

"No, Jack, I can't.."

"Yes you can," Jack said, shaking her arms slightly to emphasize. "Kate, whatever happens, things will be okay."

_4 minutes, 42 seconds._

"You didn't think that yesterday."

She looked up at him, eyes deep and helpless. Jack couldn't reply to that. This wasn't about Alex- Jack swallowed at the thought of her- this was about their future. But then again, it was almost like the same thing, right?

4 minutes, 50 seconds.

"Kate-"

"Jack-"

They wouldn't let each other finish, and before they knew it, Kate's stopwatch was beginning to blink its numbers furiously.

"We've got to do this," Jack whispered.

Kate nodded. She knew he was right. Leaning forward, they let their foreheads rest against each other.

"Whatever happens-" Jack began again.

"I know," Kate croaked out.

The blinking on the watch grew faster as time was almost up, and a million thoughts ran through their heads. Should they do this? Could they do this? Would they be okay?

"Jack-"

Before Kate could begin, the timer beeped. Kate's mouth fell short. There was a long pause as the two took in a last moment, both breathing hard, both anxious, both scared.

"Together?" Jack said at last.

Kate nodded.

"I'll start," Jack offered.

He took a deep breath before he began to count.

"One."

Kate continued.

"Two."

And together they finished.

"Three."


	32. The Unloneliest Number

In the End

Chapter Thirty-Two

**Chapter Thirty-Two:** The Unlonelist Number

"Boone?"

Boone didn't respond. An entire day passed since Shannon's death, and Boone had sat and watched the entire change like a slideshow, never once moving from his spot on the shore. Every dip in the sky, color change, passing cloud, rolling tide, and drop of rain moved around him in slow motion. A rainstorm hit the previous afternoon and another one was due that day, but Boone didn't have the energy to move.

Sayid, however, was taking the loss in a completly different direction, busying himself with whatever needed to be done, no matter how little. He'd gone as far as offering to do laundry, determined not to let his emotions show. Too many unanswered question led up to the events of Shannon's death, and Sayid was convinced that as long as he'd give no reason for inquisation, the curiosity would eventually pass.

The most common task at hand was the hatch, a place Boone hadn't been too willing to go back to after the funeral. Locke's absence shook him so much that Boone contemplated running away for a good, long time, but memories of all that happened in the jungle changed his mind. He'd been fooling himself, Boone decided, into thinking that Locke had become somewhat of a father figure to him: someone he could look up to, someone he could depend upon. But when push came to shove, Locke proved that the past would always prevail.

Nevertheless, Sayid, possibly wisley, took no emotional attatchment to Locke and had no problem with going back to work in the hatch. The virus was still running with what seemed like no possible way to stop it..unless they shut the system down completly. And that looked like what they were going to have to do.

Stepping behind Boone, Sayid crossed his arms as he observed Boone's apperance. Already his neck was burnt red, despite the fact that it was only January. A day on the beach seemed to have mixed effects on Boone, who as used to spending his time in the damp atmosphere of the hatch. Even Sayid's naturally dark skin was fading to a lighter color, though the hatch didn't seemed to have any effect on Locke at all. Down the hatch Locke could be serious, acting as though he was the exectuive and the hatch was his company. Once he was back with the other castaways, who knew nothing of the hatch or its contents, he could pull a smile and a joke or two; just like he'd always been able to.

All in all Boone looked exhausted, as if he needed a break from his misery. No doubt he hadn't eaten in days, despite the hatch's offerings. Though he and Shannon had been close, Sayid had to respect Boone's past with her. What he didn't want to accept was the fact that if there was anything he wanted to know about Shannon, he'd now have to go to Boone.

"The virus has almost eaten up the hardrive," Sayid informed him. He paused for some kind of reaction, but there was none. "What will have to do is wait until it's destroyed the entire system and then start it again ourselves." Another pause. This time, Boone let out a snort. Sayid'd been looking for a reaction, but that wasn't the one he was expecting; he was a little insulted by it. "It's the only option we have left."

This time, Boone actually laughed. Sayid was too puzzled to interfere, letting Boone finally speak up.

"That's all you care about, isn't it?" Boone accused in disbelief.

"What do you mean?" Sayid asked carefully, hurt by the presumtion. Should he not try and be the strong one? Especially since Boone was younger than he?

"Forget it," Boone said with a simper, shaking his head.

Once again he fell quiet, staring down at the sand. On the ground Boone watched as the water splashed onto land, hectically as though it were looking for a safety zone. An escape. But in the end, Boone knew, the water would always be forced out to sea. In a way, it was almost a sad thought. All of a sudden he was reminded of Shannon, and how she was always so confident that he'd come back for her. On the surface he'd try and break free, but deep down some unkown consious always pulled him back. But now, there was no going back.

Be careful what you wish for.

"I just thought you should know," Sayid told him, trying to push aside his anger.

He turned, making his own escape, the thought of the hatch's solitude location seeming more welcoming now than ever. It was almost so easy for him to hide that Sayid would smile a little inside, feeling as though he'd conqured a triumph others would kill for.

"Why is it so easy for you to ignore this?"

Sayid nearly jumped at Boone's voice, momentarily letting his guard down. He stiffened a little, preparing himself to turn around and face the truth. An errie sense came over him; it was as though Boone read his mind. When he was finally turned around, Sayid found that Boone was now standing, facing him with crossed arms. Now that he could see his face, not only did Boone look exhausted..but also betrayed. And at that moment, Sayid knew he owed him the truth. Taking a sharp breath, Sayid forced the confession out.

"Because then, maybe I can forget I lost her," Sayid began quietly, "because maybe if I ignore it, I'll forget that I wasn't there to protect her." His heart was pounding with guilt at the thought that horrified him, tearing his mind apart and feeling it with self-hatred. "Maybe I'll forget that I loved her."

Boone's eyes met his now, and the one thing they had in common began resurfacing. The matter was something they could definetly agree on, definetly pity themselves for. Suddenly Boone felt guilty for accusing him, because the idea of forgetting, letting everything just pass, seemed so beyond enticing that Boone was actually beginning to get excited about it, the future. A future where acceptance was only acceptably, and self-forgivness was a must. A future that, in reality, was no where to be found in even the next century. Not here, not on this island. But still, the thought was nice.

"I'll come with you," Boone said at last, freeing Sayid from the awkward silence, "to the hatch. Is Locke there?"

"No."

He felt so relieved at the answer that he almost sighed, but at the last minute, he was able to hold back and follow Sayid quietly to the hatch.

(space)

Danielle hardly moved from her spot at the beach from the time Charlie aproached her from when Locke did the next day. She hadn't eaten, she hadn't slept. She couldn't even be sure she was thinking anymore. It was just all so surreal that it was completly going over her now in waves of pain. Crashing on the island, losing Alex, being found and taken in sixteen years later, reuninting with Alex, and losing her again..it was just too much to think about. Her head hurt.

"Apple?"

A red fruit appeared in the air beside her. Out of the corner of her eye, Danielle could see that the apple looked fresh; it was probably delicious. Now that she was seeing food her stomach rumbled, but determined to fight it, Danielle kept her eyes to the sea.

"Mind if I have a seat?" Locke asked lightly, seeming almost cheerful.

How dare he, she thought. He had quite a way with grieving. Or did he even care that her daughter was gone?

Danielle didn't answer him. Abover her, Locke smiled a little, grimacing at the silence. Instead of sitting, Locke knealed beside her.

"No one blames you," he told her quietly, reassuringly.

Again, she didn't answer. He just didn't get it..no one did.

"I don't blame myself," Danielle said quietly.

It was a realization that she was slowly accepting. After all, Alex died at the hands of a monster. What she was pleading guilty about was not spending time with her, really getting to know the daughter she searched sixteen years to find. Instead she began getting closer to other people, people who kept her from her daughter. Alex wasn't completly distant, after all. It was clear that, deep down, she wanted to accomplish that mother-daughter bond millions craved, but that was something she couldn't do if the other end of the string kept pushing her away. She had let idea of people get to her head. She let herself become convinced that she survived sixteen years here; no one would die soon. She took time for grantid. Relationships for grantid.

"I blame you."

If Locke was at all insulted, he hid it well. Amusment glowed, highlighting Locke's facial features.

"That's quite an accusation," Locke commented, "I'm assuming you think I control the monster as well?"

Cheerfulness still illuminated Locke's tone, sending a chill up Danielle's spine. Why was he so accepting of this? Or maybe this was just a mask waiting to be taken off later..the thought made Daniellesuddenly want to get up and run away.

"No," Danielle replied dryly, with sharp coldness, "I blame you because I wasn't able to spend a last day with my daughter. I didn't get to be there when she was dying. I was with you."

She looked up at him then, meeting his eyes so that she could be sure Locke could see her pain. And he didn't even attempt to escape her look. This kind of acceptance was something Danielle wasn't used to. It was like he was made of steel..this didn't seem to bother him at all. He'd just stand up, wipe off the sand from the knees of his pants, and walk away. Then he'd probably go and ruin someone elses life. It was like some sick circle of life.

"You kept me away from her," Danielle finished quietly, her voice just beginning to crack a little.

As for Locke, this was the weakest he'd ever seen Danielle. Though quiet and distant, she always seemed strong to him. After all, she was still alive after all these years.

"I'm sorry you think that," Locke said finally, matching her soft tone, "it was not my intention to-"

"You kept me away from her!" Danielle cried, her voice rising in a near sqeek.

At last Locke's expression soften, his amusment finally gone. Danielle almost regretted it; she would've rather slapped it right off his face. And if she did say so herself, she had a pretty decent punch.

"Danielle-" Locke attempted, holding a hand out to her as she jumped up.

She didn't care what he was offering anymore. At one time the thought of having a friend made her excited, anxious. And she and Locke had so much in common. It was like he was created specifically for her, and he spent so much time alone that sometimes she worried that he was just a hullcination. But now she knew the truth. Things had been too good to be true.

"Where are you going?" Locke called after her as she head for the jungle, rifle and backpack over her shoulder.

She didn't answer because she didn't know or cared. Was it so much to ask to be alone once more? At one time she hated this idea, loneness, but now the thought seemed just as welcoming as a friend once was.

(space)

Callum's version of the island's computer was much larger than the one he was used to, something Boone had somehow forgotten since his last hatch visit. A hollow roarr echoed through the room as his feet hit the floor, followed by Sayid. Carefully doging their own computer's broken parts, they made their way into the main room, which he was slightly surprised to find empty. The computer still sat against the wall, looking as though it were glued there. White light radiated from its screen, lighting up the room in a brilliant tint. Besides the emptiness of the room, the most noticable absence was the virus from the computer.

"So how do we do this?" Boone asked hesitantly, the size of the computer suddenly becoming too overwhelming to bare in his mind.

"It's quite simple," Sayid began, walking towards the system, "we unplug it, and then we start the program back up."

"By ourself?" Sayid's statement didn't come off as very convincing. "And how do we know there's even a backup?"

Sayid smiled wearily.

"Trust me," he said reassuringly, "there's a backup."

Sighing, Boone leaned against the small part of a table that stuck out below the keypad, putting his weight on the heavy plastic. He stared into the screen, letting himself become engulfed in it. Eventually he forgot to look away, only reminded to do so when his head begin to pound, and his eyes began to sting. In attempts to relieve the aching pain in his head and eyes, Boone squeezed his eyelids shut tightly, but opened them soon after. That was Locke's old trick, he realized quickly, mentally kicking himself. He didn't want anything he learned from Locke to become noticed, not even to himself.

"Ready?" Sayid asked from under the table.

Boone looked back up to the screen. Already he could've sworn the tint was growing darker.

"Yeah," he said with lack of excitement.

Under the desk, Sayid raised an eyebrow, but he decided to ignore Boone's questionable tone, and instead went on with the task at hand. Sweat was already forming on his forehead, dripping to his eyes- and not from the heat. He was well aware of the risk of his decision, and Boone was right- who said there was backup? But his instincts told him this was the right choice, and through the years Sayid learned that sometimes it was best to trust his instincts. He closed his eyes and said a short prayer, the plug that connected the computer to an outlit in the wall becoming slick in his hands. At last he forced himself to carry on with it, knowing they didn't have time to lose. The monster was loose, and someone could be endanger right now. Sayid wasn't going to let what happened to Shannon happen to someone else. With that thought he finally brought his hands apart, ripping the cord from the extension line.

Darkness imediatly followed. Neither he nor Boone gasped or cried out at the sudden change, but instead remained calm. The hatch remained silent. Carefully Sayid slid out from under the desk. Already Boone had a flashlight out they brought with him. He took it, and disapeared back underneath the table, the light automatically falling to the outlit. With another prayer he plugged the computer back in, and the softest of clicks sounded in the air.

"It's on," Boone whispered in both amazement and nervousness.

Sayid himself was on edge, his fingers beginning to shake slightly as he finally brought himself to sit the cord down. This was just fixing another radio or musicbox. Once again he apeared from under the desk, and stood up, ignoring the dust that clinged to his clothes.

At first nothing happened, the computer just sat there in the darkness, blacker than ever. Then it hummed at them, like the sound of an engine starting up. Color flickered to the screen, and a smilie face followed a sudden desktop of navy blue. The smile swirled around, seeming like it was attempting to make its owner dizzy. It almost sucedeed, but at the last moment it faded away. The small show was followed by a number of little dots, which slowly formed a picture: a desktop. A real desktop. Just like one you'd see on your average PC, complete with a background picture of an ocean. Beside him, Boone let out an incredulous laugh.

"Think that's where we are?" Boone asked, his voice filled with more anticipation than before.

"I doubt it," Sayid replied curtly as his hand fell to the keypad.

He wasn't familiar with this type of computer, which didn't even come with a mouse. Even the comand keys seemed to be written in some foreign language. Trying to remember the way the old computer worked, Sayid recalled that the arrow keys conducted most of the amusement. A hard drive icon sat in the upper right corner of the screen, and deciding that's where they needed to go, Sayid clicked on the up arrow. Sure enough, the icon was highlighted, and soon after a window popped up. No other icons were on the screen, Sayid observed. No internet, no email. No connection to the outside world. But if he worked at it, maybe he could create one..

Only one folder sat in the hard drive, unlike in most computers he was familar with. The hard itself drive was labeled 'System Folder', which displayed a sign of sophistication altogether. But the folder inside the hard drive had the name that sent shivers up his spine, making him become more unsure of where they were than ever. It was just a one-word name, but that one word could've been the solution to years of pain and loss..included the plan crash itself. The name just included one word..

Island

"Ready to do this?" Boone said, bringing Sayid out of his thoughts.

His once hesitant tone was gone, and Boone seemed more anxious than ever to complete their computer task. Maybe he was thinking of Shannon as well. As Sayid stared at the 'Island' folder, anger and hatred flared in his eyes. He would love nothing more than to bash the computer and its system to bits to what it did, but as much as he wanted to, he knew it wasn't to blame. After all, the system wasn't even on when Shannon died.

Sayid nodded, remembering Boone's question. He clicked on the arrow key once again, and the icon highlighted before a process timer popped up to the screen. They watched as the system downloaded in slow seconds, offering them nothing but silence in the meantime.

"How do you think she died?" Boone asked quietly as the download reached five percent.

Staring at the screen, Sayid didn't respond. He always just assumed the monster got to her. She was ripped up pretty good, blood covering nearly eighty percent of her body..Sayid shivered at the mental picture. But then again, they weren't there to see it happen, they'd never truly know..hatred arose in him once again. Didn't he deserve at least that much? Knowing how the woman he loved died?

"I don't know," Sayid replied.

A moment of silence past before Boone spoke up again. The download was only at ten percent, so God knew how long they still had to wait. Silence was beginning to feel like a very unwelcoming thing..either would've given anything just to hear a pen drop.

"Do you think she suffered?" Boone wondered outloud, speaking so quietly Sayid had to strain to hear him.

Swallowing hard, Boone waited for Sayid's reply. Or maybe it was reassurance he wanted. Reassurance telling him that it was okay, she probably died instantly. He could do nothing. It wasn't his fault. But as much as he wanted to believe it..he couldn't..neither could. Was she thinking about him? Each wondered. Did she cry out for him? Or was the pain so much that she wanted to die? Did she fight?

"Do you think she felt it?" Boone went one, sounding like a child pestering a parent with inquiries. "Do you think-"

"Boone," Sayid cut in quickly before the next question came, wanting to be free of the horrific thoughts they brought. A long pause passed. "I'm sure she's in a better place now."

Boone let out a small snort. Sayid raised an eyebrow.

"Well, if it has anything to do with sin," Boone said lightly in attempts for comic relief.

Sayid didn't seem too amused.

"There's redemption," Sayid reminded him. "Don't you believe in redemption?"

He turned to Boone, challenging him. Boone stared thoughtfully at the computer before answering.

"On a level," he replied, thinking of his own experience. Sure, on the surface it seemed like he was as good as new, but a strike of bad karma seemed to follow him wherever he went.

A sudden thud from nearby told them someone else was in the hatch. Boone tensed, because as he suspected, Locke entered the room. Sayid's eyes darkened slightly at the entrance, remembering Callum's absense.

"Hello," Locke greeted slowly, staring wide-eyed at the computer as he walked towards them.

"Why are you doing here?" Boone asked, surprising even himself at keeping his vioce steady, not taking his eyes off the screen.

The download was now at fifteen percent.

4, 8, _15_, Boone couldn't help but to think.

"The same reason you are," Locke replied, staring at the computer in wonder, "I think."

"Let me explain," Sayid offered, turning towards Locke.

"No." Boone stepped forward, shaking his head. "What are you doing here?"

Shaking a little, Boone felt himself growing more angrier with each step.

"Why weren't you at the funeral?" His voice was now shaky, and his hands were already clenched into sweaty fist.

"What you have to understand is-"

"No!" Boone shouted.

His voice echoed through the walls, a short silence following as it passed.

"I trusted you," he began, his voice wavering violenty. "Where the hell were you?"

No one expected what happened next, even Boone. He could feel himself rushing forward, but his mind felt completly aside itself as he charged towards Locke, the surprise of the attack knocking the man down to the hard floor. There was only one thought on his mind: revenge. Grabbing a knife from the sheft attatched to Locke's beltloop, bringing it to Locke's neck before he could wrap his mind around what was happening. Even Sayid was surprised at Boone's strength.

"Why weren't you there?" Boone repeated, tears stinging in his eyes as he faught to maintain his strength.

Locke looked like he didn't know what to think. Both Boone and Sayid were surprised that he didn't try to fight.

"Sayid-" Locke attempted, desperatly looking at Sayid for help.

But Sayid just stood there, arms crossed in intrest. Boone shoved the knife closer to Locke's neck. Tiny speckles of blood ruptured from the effect of the cool blade.

"Give me on good reason," Boone spluttered.

He gripped his fist tighter around the knife to keep it from slipping further away from his hands.

From no where, a scream erupted suddenly. Locke seemed to regain his senses from the new voice, easily throwing Boone and the knife away from him. Boone stumbled before finding his balance. For a moment he stood there, breathing hard as he looked at the blood on his hands from Locke's wound. He forced himself out of it, determined not to feel guilty, when he noticed Sayid running after Locke, who was heading towards the back end of the hatch- a place rarely visited.

They followed Locke through a narrow hallway, lighted by a flickering emergancy bulb. Like the rest of the hatch, the hallway was dark and damp, definetly completed a resemblence of what you'd think an underground hatch would look like. Before he had time to try and note his surroundings, Boone nearly plowed into where Sayid was standing at a door. The door was old, woodenlike, but not like that of a bedroom door..though that was excatly what it led through. Peering into the room, Boone could see a table with a lantern, complete with old novels. Also along the walls was an opened-ended closet. No doors. With only four simple doors, the room looked more like a large walk-in closet than a homely bedroom. Beside the night table sat a cot, straight from an old infarmary, off-white sheets included. And on that cot laid Callum, gasping in pain as he clutched a leg brace. An angry scratched colored his cheek, and splotches of black and blue dotted his arms, standing out even in the dim yellow light. Locke was already tending to the frightened patient.

"This," Locke said as he began ripping the brace from Callum's leg, "was why I wasn't there."

As Boone watched Locke, who was beginning to interrogate Callum, he knew that this was an acceptable excuse, though he didn't feel ready to accept it. He'd done more for Locke, had more faith in him than anyone on the island, without so much as a thank you in return. Before he didn't really mind, Boone was just happy to no longer be an outsider, but now the realization was sinking in, along with an inner voice snapping for revenge.

"Did you try and change the bandage?" Locke asked angrily.

Taking on role of doctor, Locke reminded Boone a little of Jack.

"No!" Callum exclaimed. "It just started bleeding again!

Callum spoke in a panic, his face pale with obvious worry.

"What happened?" Sayid was quick to ask.

"Shouldn't Jack take a look at this?" Boone heard himself ask, though he didn't think he was feeling any immediate sympathy.

"Jack?" Callum asked, teeth gritted in pain.

"Our doctor," Sayid replied.

"You guys have a doctor?" Callum said hopefully, looking between Sayid and Boone.

"Jack can't know about this," Locke interrupted, grim in determination as he attempted to stop the bleeding at Callum's leg.

"Why not?" Callum asked him, panicing again. "If he can help-"

"Jack doesn't need to know!" Locke exclaimed loudly, making Callum jump.

Locke looked like a man caught in over his head at something, sweaty and slightly panicing as well, very on edge. His hands were already caked with the blood that didn't look to be slowly its flow.

"Let me help," Sayid offered, taking a clean white cloth from the bed.

"No," Locke protested, "I've got it."

Sayid ignored him.

"Where did you get these supplies?" Sayid inquired.

"There's an emergancy kit," Callum answered, speaking more quickly than normal, his accent failing him.

Instead of offering to help, Boone just watched, transifixed by the scene. He couldn't help thinking, maybe this was all Shannon needed. If someone were there for her, maybe she could've made it..

"I'm gonna go check the download," Boone whispered before realizing what he was saying.

Callum's head jerked around towards him.

"What?"

Now he sounded more frightened than ever, like a man who was afraid of the world suddenly crashing down on him. Boone actually felt a little bad for Callum himself. After all, it wasn't his fault his leg was messed up. But he ignored the question, storming off towards the main hatch room.

"How is he?" Boone asked curiously when Sayid imerged from the hallway thirty minutes later.

"I'm trying to convince Locke to take him to Jack," Sayid informed him.

Boone stared at the monitor. The download was at ninety percent.

"And you want my help?" Boone guessed lightly.

"I'm not sure how willing his is to listen to you," Sayid admited. His eyes narrowed. "He has a scar on his neck."

Boone snorted.

"I think he'll live.

Sayid didn't reply. From afar he observed the computer screen which, aside from the numbers, looked like a mirror version from earier.

"How much longer?" Sayid asked him as he began stepping forward for a better look.

"Ninety-five percenty," Boone read.

Slowly he was becoming anxious again. Once the system was back up again, Boone could work at getting revenge.

"You can't blame Locke for Shannon's death," Sayid said to him, easily reading him, "you know that."

"Then who am I going to blame?" Boone demanded, suddenly very frustrated.

"No one."

"You're telling me that you're not angry?" Boone accused. "You're in denial, man."

"On the contrary," Sayid began, "I could say the same about you."

Just as he said it the download reached one-hundred percent, and without hesitance the computer jumped to life once more. The screen exploded into a pixeled green picture. As they waited for something else to happen, the picture became more clearer, becoming the map of the island they were only too familiar with. Boone almost smiled, smirking at the picture.

As expected with the larger screen, the map was larger. It also looked like a more realistic 3D, the island's features lashing out at them, just waiting to be studied. The only difference was that there were no dots wondering around, representing the castaways and the island's other inhabitents.

"What do we do now?" Boone wondered outloud.

To answer his question, a blank list popped up on the side of the screen. Lines were laid out to be filled in, with numbers to organize the list. It then seemed all too obvious what it was for. Names. Sayid swallowed, thinking exactly what Boone was beginning to worry about.

"We need to figure out who's left," Sayid announced, voice stiff though it was clear he was effected by what he was saying.

"How are we going to do that?" Boone asked, even though he didn't want to.

Because filling this list out would mean being forced to accept what happened. It was like this was all part of a mad mind game.

"The passenger manifest," Sayid responded, studying the map in front of him.

Boone swallowed, now more hesitent than anxious.

"Where's that?"

(space)

"Ready?"

"Not really."

Jack let out a small laugh at Kate's miserable tone, gripping her arms so tightly that he had to remind himself to losen his grip every now and then. Nonetheless, Kate turned over test to reveal the single word that would change their lives forever:

Pregnant

Jack let out another laugh, not being able to help but to smile. Because this was it. They were having a baby, and nothing could change that. Kate, on the other hand, didn't seemed as pleased.

"Oh my God," Jack expressed, trying to sound as happy as possible.

"Oh my God," Kate echoed in a much quieter tone.

Taking a good look at her, Jack was given a painful realization of Kate's reaction. Tears looked to be forming in her eyes, and Jack could nearly feel the sickness arousing in her at that very moment. She was forcing herself to hold back a breakdown, Jack realized, but her eyes failed herself. A sob escaped her, and Jack was quick to catch her as she almost lost balance.

"It's okay," Jack promised her, running his hands soothingly up and down her arms, "it's okay."

"No," Kate shook her head.

Her entire body was shaking in violent jumps, and Jack could feel the vibrations from her breakdown as he pulled her close, holding her.

"It'll be okay," Jack assured her, "I promise. We can do this."

Kate shook her head again, pulling away from him as she headed for the cot where se sat down, still trembling.

"I can't-" Kate stummered. "I can't be a mother."

Jack watched Kate as he aproached her symapthetically, falling to his knees beside her. Gently he placed a hand on her knee.

"Yes you can," Jack told her, "yes you can."

On the repeat he put heavy emphasis on each word, which brought Kate's eyes towards him. He winced at her look, so frightened and desperate. So unlike Kate. It just showed how much this effected her, how scared she was. And later she would hate herself for letting her walls crumble.All Jack wanted to do was help her, make her believe it would be okay. Lfting himself up, he took a seat next to Kate on the cot, wrapping his arm around her. Her head fell routinely to his shoulder.

"I'm a criminal," Kate whispered.

"So we won't exactly be the Gilmore girls," Jack shrugged, "but we can pull through." He kissed her hair, whispering into her ear. "We can do this."

Kate didn't protest this time, something that relieved Jack for the moment, and he decided to remain quiet himself. Subconsiouly his hand fell to her stomach, and he only noticed when Kate looked down, staring at his rough fingers.

"We're going to have a baby," Kate whispered in soft realization.

Jack smiled a little, though he fought to keep himself together, wanting to appear strong for Kate.

"Yeah," he replied quietly, "we are."

He kissed her head again, holding it with a hand as he continued to hold onto her, her tears finally siezed. It was hard to believe that only five months ago they met, as plane crashed victims at that, and now..now they were going to be parents.

(space)

"Why can't Jack know about this?" Callum wanted to know as Locke began to pick the bloody washcloths from the nightstand.

_Yesterday_

_All my troubles seemed so far away_

_Now it looks as though they're here to stay_

_Oh, I believe in yesterday_

"Because," Locke replied, and offered no more.

Because if Jack found out, Locke thought to himself, things wouldn't get done. He'd worry too much, something one could look at as a flaw. As a leader it was good for him, but Locke couldn't trust the hatch could adapt to that kind of leadership. Not to mention after his encounters with Danielle and Boone, Locke thought it may be best to stay as far away from people as possible. They blamed him, but Locke himself knew he wasn't to blame. And he wasn't. Right?

_Suddenly_

_I'm not half the man I used to be_

_There's a shadow hanging over me_

_Oh, yesterday came suddenly_

Sayid stared at the computer, waiting for Boone to return with the manifest. Things were hectic again, and suddenly Sayid was feeling as though they shouldn't be. After Boone's attacks and accusations, Sayid was forced to take the loss into a whole knew outlook, and Sayid was starting to see where he was coming from. Yes, he was angry. But no, he wasn't in denial. Yet he wasn't ready to fully accept it. He'd grown so used to having someone that he wasn't sure how to act without that. Shannon had always been there for him to worry about, care about, and no he only had himself. Himself and this damned computer.

_Why she had to go, I don't know_

_She wouldn't say_

_I said something wrong_

_Now I long for yesterday_

Trudging through the high weeds of the jungle, Danielle desperatly tried to remember where her hut was. Rarely in her sixteen years on the island did she travel these ways, and with Alex, she just stayed on the beach. Alex..the name seemed so haunting now, making her shiver at the thought of it. It was as though she could feel her presence. Was her daughter angry with her? Was she scared when she was dying? The thing she hated the most, as she told Locke before, was that she hadn't been able to be there when her daughter died. And now, now she suddenly felt like she needed answers. That was why she turned paths and ran. She had to talk to Jack.

_Yesterday love was such an easy game to play_

_Now I need a place to hide away_

_Oh, I believe in yesterday_

"You're not going. Charlie!" Claire cried as she bounced a sobbing Aaron in her arms.

"Yes I am," Charlie said, throwing maps and bottles of water into his bag, eyes focused in determination.

"This could be dangerous..we're doing all right here!" Claire argued desperatly. "I don't need to be rescued."

Charlie smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Yes you do."

Why she had to go, I don't know

She wouldn't say

I said something wrong

Now I long for yesterday

That afternoon Jack found Kate sitting on the beach. Knees drawn to her chest, a form of self-protection Jack picked up on over time, Kate stared into a fire she built for herself.

"Isn't that hot?" Jack asked, concerned as he could feel the heat of the flames prickel at his skin.

"No," Kate replied unemotionally.

Nearby a group of people laughed, and Jack and Kate turned to see a group of surviors joking around their own campfire. As they watched one of them turned around and glared at Claire, who was holding a crying Aaron not far away. Jack felt Kate tensed beside them.

"Let's keep this to ourselfs," Kate requested quietly, "for now."

Jack nodded as he sat down.

"Seems fair," he offered.

Kate continued to stare into the fire. She didn't seem very talkative, but then again, what could Jack expect? He noticed some of Kate's hair had fallen into her face in the breeze, and with a finger Jack brushed it back,freeing her vision. Kate didn't react.

"How do you feel?" He asked her, still concerned about her distant apperance.

What he wanted to say was that they needed to talk. That's what they needed more than everything. Reassurance, confidence, and companionship. But talking would most likely mean eventually bringing up Alex..Jack swallowed at the thought of his own breakdown the previous day. He wasn't ready to go there.

"Okay," Kate replied with a shrug. She was silent for a few moments before continuing, her frightened apearance returning, and her words confirmed why. "I'm scared."

Jack looked at her, admiring Kate's admition.

"I know," Jack said, "I am too."

His shoulder was there for her to lean on, but Kate just continued to stare at the flames. Jack felt slightly hurt for a moment, but he quickly got over it. One thing he kept reminding himself was that Kate would need her space.

_Yesterday _

_love was such an easy game to play _

_Now I need a place to hide away _

_Oh, I believe in yesterday_

Kate chose to stay at the beach last night, and though he wasn't willing to leave her alone, she insisted that he give her some time. He went back to his caves where he busied himself by cleaning up some. The place was a mess, due to recent negletence of, well, everything. Even himself. As he entered he noticed a castaway munching on a mango, and his stomach grumbled in painful churns, reminding him that he'd eaten only a bite of orange in the past few days. He made mental plans to find something and eat with Kate later. Now he too felt like he just wanted to be by himself for a while.

The thought was beginning to becoming too overwhelming as time passed on. They were going to have a baby. But most importantly..he was going to be a father. And that scared the hell outta him. It wasn't that he wouldn't be able to watch his son play little league, or take him to his first day of kindergarden(though that hurt too), but it was the thought of his own father.

"Oh," Boone's voice said from the cave's entrance, jerking him out of his thoughts, "sorry man, I'll come back later.

Looking up, Jack noticed Boone looked slightly pale, like a deer caught in headlights.

"It's okay," Jack said, "what did you need?"

Boone looked thoughtful for a moment, as if was considering saying something, but in the end he shook his head.

"Nothing," Boone said, clearly lying, "night."

With a small wave he left, leaving Jack alone in the caves. Jack stared down at the medicine capsul he was holding, and realized that, ironically, the pills belonged to Boone. He considered going after him, but his own thoughts protested. Parenthood was engulfing him already, and the fear was becoming more than he could've ever imagine. Then again, he'd been through this before. Almost, anyway. But this time, he knew they'd worked to hard to just end things. This time, he wasn't going to screw up. This time he was going to be there for his child. This time, he was going to be a dad. And Jack couldn't help but to smile at the thought.

**Author's Notes:** Thanks for the reviews! FYI I have a new story up called On An Island(http/ but this won't effect the completion of "In the End". Thanks so much for reviewing! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

Someone joins Charlie on his mission to get rescued, and Sawyer's forced to face the horrific return of his past.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	33. That Was Then

In the End

Chapter Thirty-Three

**Author's Note:** Assume that anything injected between Jack's thoughts is something that was previously said by Alex, unless it's obviously something otherwise.

**Disclaimer:** "Do What You Have To Do" is a wonderfully beautiful song by Sarah McLachlan.

**Chapter Thirty-Three:** That Was Then

Her throat was still sore. After spending the previous day doing nothing but yelling, she was looking forward to having some time to relax. But as she approach their camp, she saw that her dreams were crushed. Sawyer was still there. She thought for sure he'd be up and gone by this time of day. Then again, knowing his laziness, she should've figured as much. He was still asleep, passed out from many hours of arguing. Their first topic had been the return of his letter, but they soon branched out to other insults and accusations, eventually becoming quite riddiculous.

As she walked towards where Sawyer was reclining on an airline seat, Rebecca frowned at the book he had in his hands: _October Sky_. He finished that book three days ago. Suspision already told her what to expect as she curiously lifted the novel out of his hands, getting a glimpse of what was indeed his letter- carefully taped together- hidden in the pages before Sawyer jerked awake. His eyes bulging with fury, Sawyer ripped the book from Rebecca's hands, tearing a corner of the back cover in the process. He hid it behind his back, fingers closed over the paper inside protectively.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He demanded, jumping up at her presence.

Rebecca stared at him, contemplating how she wanted to take this. The last thing she wanted was more arguing. She didn't know why, but arguing with Sawyer hurt more than arguing with her parents or even her sister. Maybe that was because she thought Sawyer cared about her.

"Nothing," Rebecca lied at last, shaking her head. But she didn't say it as a lie, she said it sincerly. An argumentive trick she learned from mommy dearest. "Because that's all we do around here, isn't it? Nothing."

Sawyer returned the stare until he finally blinked, incredulous.

"We're on an island!" Sawyer cried. "A damn _rock_! What do you expect me to do? Mow the yard?" He glared at her when Rebecca didn't reply; she didn't expect him to answer. "You wouldn't of happened to find anything to eat around here, did ya?"

Her mouth fell agape. She heard this argument so many times, but it'd always been directed at her. Rebecca actually felt slightly guilty, because it wasn't as though people were jumping at Sawyer to pitch in. Though it was like he was jumping in himself. He liked being alone, or at least that's what he told himself. If he needed to do something, he'd do it. But at the moment she felt like slapping him.

"You're unbelievable," she whispered at last, gaping at him.

"Really?" Sawyer said as he pulled on a clean shirt. He grinned. "Because I've had girlfriends tell me that's my best quality."

"How long did those relationships last?" Rebecca challenged, eyes glaring.

Sawyer returned the glare beautiful.

"So this is how it's going to be?" Rebecca said after a long moment of silence, crossing her arms. Sawyer didn't reply. "And now you're giving me the silent treatment?"

"Hell, it's just one fight!" Sawyer exclaimed. "And I'm just so flattered that it got to be about me!"

"Well I'm glad I got the chance to flatter you," Rebecca spat, disgusted. Sawyer smiled to himself before taking the letter out of the book and carefully folding it and placing it inside his back pocket. "I get it. You got your letter back..and I hope you're damn happy with it."

"Maybe I am!" Sawyer ejaculated, throwing the book harshly to the sand.

Rebecca felt the blow psyically, knowing she gave him that book. She wondered if he remembered.

"Good," Rebecca forced in a whisper.

Shivering, Rebecca could hardly tell it was nearly fifty out, a pretty warm temperature for January. The sun was shining bright with creeping rainclouds..she hoped grately they wouldn't get rained in. She didn't think she could take it. Times seemed so much better after the letter was done away with that it was painful to think of. That was when, with being only partially aware of what she was doing, Rebecca made a grab for the letter, shooting out in determination. The move wasn't quick enough, and Sawyer's tight grip stopped her before she was able to retreive it. He stared into her eyes, glaring at her in fury and disapointment. Letting out a sudden gasp, Sawyer let go, realizing he was hurting her. As he let his hand slide of her arm he revealed angry red spots in place of his fingertips.

"I'm sorry," he muttered in regret.

"It's okay," Rebecca lied. Truthfully her arm ached a little, but she was sure that'd go away in a few moments. It was clear that Sawyer really did regret grabbing her, it was no use making it worse..that was also one of the last things she wanted.

With that they let the argument die, passing it on with the incoming tide and letting it wash away to sea. Just like that the argument would be over, never mentioned again. Sometimes that would hurt just as much as the argument itself. Feeling the sudden need to distract herself, Rebecca glanced around the beach until her eyes landed on Jack and Kate, who were lounging on the shore. In the same state they were in the day of their shock, they stared out to sea, Kate carefully placed inside Jack's arms.

"They've been like that for awhile," Rebecca said suddenly, remember spotting the two earlier that morning.

The night before she hardly got any sleep, still awake at dawn when Kate stepped onto the beach. Shortly after Jack followed, inquiring her before settling into the sand, allowing Kate her peace.

"Well you can't blame them, can you?" Sawyer expressed.

Sitting down on the airplane recliner, Sawyer began lacing up his hiking sneakers. She chose to ignore his reply. Rebecca felt badly for the two. Whatever they had been through still wasn't entirely known, but it had clearly been traumatic. The loss of Alex had to be hard enough.

"I think I'm going to go talk to them," Rebecca announced, reaching for a light jacket and fresh bottle of water.

"Let me tell you a secret," Sawyer said warningly, "don't meddle with other people's buisness. They don't like it."

"But they might need it," Rebecca protested to herself, throwing the jacket over her arms as she began walking towards them.

As she aproached she studied them, trying to take in any warning signs before she spoke up.

"Hey," she said at last, apearing beside Kate. "I thought you two might want this-" she laid the bottle on the sand next to Jack- "and I brought this for Kate."

"I'm fine," Kate protested quietly, pushing the offered jacket away without even looking at it.

Rebecca thought about insisting, but it'd be getting even warmer soon anyway.

"Okay," she nodded. Curiously she looked out to where Jack was looking out to sea, part of her expecting to see something there. There was nothing. "Well, if you guys ever want to talk-"

"We're fine," Kate turned down quickly.

Jack didn't protest.

"Thanks for the water," Kate added under her breath.

Rebecca looked at Jack, expecting him to speak up, but when he never did, she turned away.

"The offer always stands," she said before walking away.

As soon as she left Jack's hold on Kate tightened slightly, and she tensed briefly before slowly easing into it, letting him continue to hold her. This was going to be just as hard as they feared.

(space)

"Hey, Dude, wait up!" Hurley called after Charlie just as he reached the jungle. Charlie continued walking on. A backpack was thrown over his shoulders, a jacket on his back, and a bottle of water in his hands. "Hey, I'm following you!"

Sighing, Charlie stopped and turned around. Hurley was finally able to catch up, already panting and sweating from the short run.

"Where're you going?" He inquired, eyeing Charlie's backpack. "Because, dude, Danielle's still got traps all over the place."

"You think I don't know that?" Charlie shot, face suddenly agry. "I've been out in the jungle a dozen times, and you don't think I'm bloody aware of what's out there?"

"Woah," Hurley said, raising his hands in defensive, "what's up?"

Charlie sighed again, knowing he was caught.

"I'm going to the radio tower," he explained in a low voice, glancing around to make sure no one was listening in.

"What?" Hurley exclaimed. "You mean the one Danielle mentioned? The one she went to?"

"No, I mean the other radio tower on the island," Charlie snapped sarcastically. Hurley fell silent, taken aback by Charlie's harsh tone. "Look, I'm sorry, but I have to do this. It's like no one cares anymore. We're still stranded, you know."

"Trust me dude, we know," Hurley said with a laugh, "but seriously, if you're going, I'm going with you."

"What?" Charlie said, staring at him. He let out an uncomfortable laugh. "No offense mate, but don't you think you're a little out of shape?"

"Dude, I'm serious!" Hurley exclaimed. "You can't go out there alone. You said yourself about the kidnapping and stuff, and not to mention the monster-"

"All right, all right!" Charlie retreated. "Fine. Just don't tell anyone."

"Actually.." Hurley began thoughtfully.

(space)

After Rebecca's interferance to their quiet, Kate wanted to be left alone. Jack protested, but she insisted it would look less suspicious that way. In truth Jack was terrified of being left alone, knowing he'd only be forced to deal with the memories that haunted him and the fear that awaited. He lay in their cave on the cot, staring into deep space at the wall, thinking of just these. Over and over again he heard the screams of the flying plane as it was snatched by the monster, Kate's worries of being a mother, Alex's passing words and desperate need to be let go. He still couldn't understand why she wanted to go so badly. Why didn't she want to live, stay? With him? With her mother? And the question would enter his mind over and over again, well aware of the pain it was causing, leaving behind no sympathy: how could he have just let her go? The guilt and confussion made him feel cold, sick to his stomach to where the knock on the cave wall made him really feel sick.

"Oh, sorry," came Charlie's voice.

"It's fine," Jack lied, coming out of his daze as he rolled over, placing his feet on the floor. He ran his hands over his head as he went on. "What did you need?"

Charlie glared at someone behind him, someone who squeezed into the room, peaking through- Hurley.

"We sort of could use your help with something."

(space)

The usual afternoon shower came earlier that day, sending drops of soft rainfall to the ground around them as the three made their way out to the jungle. Jack agreed to go, worrying that sending Charlie and Hurley out there alone might not've been such a good idea. It wasn't as though he didn't trust them, but a radio tower was a dangerous thing, and after all, Hurley wasn't so good with blood.

"Sorry we pulled you out here, mate," Charlie called back to him.

Jack had let the two lead, dallying behind them. Every now and then he would look up, curious as to where they were actually going. He'd never been to the radio tower before. In fact, he didn't even know it excisted until Hurley mentioned it.

"Hurley here doesn't concider me a trustworthy friend," Charlie finished, no longer annoyed now, moving on to teasing.

"I do!" Hurley protested. "It's just that, dude, face it, you're not the best traker."

Snorting in ironnicy, Jack recalled the numerous comments Kate made about him over time with being a horrible trakker.

"Don't expect too much," Jack said, "Sayid would've been better for the job."

"We thought about it," Charlie admited, "but you know, with Shannon and all.."

Charlie trailed off, realing what he was saying, replacing his words with a guilty silence.

"Sorry," he whispered quietly.

"It's okay," Jack said, heaving a sigh.

He hated unwanted sympathy. Jack appreciated the fact that people were thinking about him, but he wasn't a child anymore. He could handle himself.

"If you want to go back, you know, you can," Charlie offered, glancing to Hurley micheviously, "it's not like I'm going to push him over a cliff on anything."

"Funny," Hurley muttered bitterly.

Jack let out a dry laugh, tempting to add to Charlie's comic relief. Only to himself he would admit that the jungle felt weird to him. At a time in his life being in someplace exotic like a jungle or beach would help clear his mind, giving him that needed relief, but now the haunted woods only made him feel even more parinoid. He'd wince subconsiously with every step, beads of nervous sweat trailing down his forehead. A sick feeling was beginning to come over him, like his mind was closing in on him. His head begin to hurt, and a jabbing pain began aching in his ribs with every step he took.

"Actually.." Jack began, finding it hard to speak. He realized what was wrong amongst his confussion, scaring himself with the disgnose: a panic attack. Ever since they set off from the caves a feeling of dread overcame him, but he pushed himself forward despite this, telling himself it wouldn't be a big deal. He'd been on hundreds of jungle treks. But those treks were before he witnessed a plane full of people being eaten right before his eyes.

"Good thing, mate," Charlie said, ignoring him and assuming he was okay with coming, "we're here."

Looking up, Jack felt even sicker at the height of the tower, which stood high above any of the nearby trees. How had they missed it before? The tower looked old, maybe even forty years of age..there were surely certainly newer kinds around the world today.

"So how do we do this?" Charlie spoke up nervously, his voice shaking a little.

"You didn't ask Sayid?" Jack inquired.

He suddenly wanted to run away. There was no reason to it, but just being out in the jungle gave him a bad feeling that just grew even worse, forming a pit inside his stomach.

"He's kind of in a bad mood," Charlie explained, "since, you know."

Hurley too was gazing up at the radio tower in awe, as though he had never seen one before in his life.

"So what do you supposed that circle thing's for?" He wondererd outloud.

"I dunno," Charlie replied, "maybe you should go see."

A snort accidently escaped from Jack, and he blushed slightly as Hurley glared at Charlie.

"Fine," Charlie muttered, bitter, "I'll climb the bloody thing."

Clearly having a change in heart, Charlie stepped forward.

"Look, Charlie," Jack said, stopping him, "you don't have to."

"Do _you_ want to climb it?" Charlie pointed out.

Jack stopped. He didn't want Charlie to get hurt, but he didn't want himself to get hurt either. For the first time, he realized, he was suddenly thinking about himself. Being there for Kate was more important to him now than ever, and Jack knew from experience what is was like growing up without a father- even though he may have been standing right there in front of you. Sighing, Jack stepped forward and placed his hands on the legs for the radio tower. Behind him Charlie secretly looked hopefuly, but his hope faded when Jack stepped back.

"It's safe," Jack confirmed. He looked at Charlie, wondering if he was thinking along his own lines. It was obvious to anyone who'd seen the two together that Charlie cared about Aaron. Turning to Charlie, Jack made sure he caught his attention. "You don't have to do this."

"I know," Charlie said quietly. He gazed up at the tower one last time. "But I am."

Taking a deep breath Charlie put a foot on the ladder, barely wide enough in width to support his small frame. He placed his hands on the bars above him next and closed his eyes in what Jack thought could be a prayer. Hurley was standing just under the ladder during this, looking up at the tower in pure dread and fear.

"Dude," Hurley said, gazing up at the mysterious circle around the tower itself, "if you fall I'll catch you but, uh, I'm not making no promises."

"Thanks," Charlie said with a simper as he took a final look at his destinion. Then finally, one step at a time he began to climb.

Things went pretty well as he slowly made his way up, climbing high over the jungle. From the ground Jack and Hurley watched, nervous, but no where near as much as Charlie, whose stomach was doing somersaults madly each time he began to lift a foot. On about the tenth step up Charlie wavered, gasping under his breath shortly before catching himself again.

"I'm okay!" He called down to the two on the ground.

Jack let out a long held breath. It was like he was watching him climb to his death.

I forgot islands don't come with stairways.

The trees around them shook in reply to Charlie's reassurance and swayed around them as he once more prepared to climb, this time with less hesitance. However, the trees still were protesting. They howled even louder, and Charlie stoppped in his traks, looking around. Below him, Jack and Hurley were doing the same thing, glancing around, alert. Then something else howled, and it wasn't the trees.

"Charlie?" Jack called up, voice shaking with worry. "Charlie, get down from there!"

Charlie was already scampering down the ladder, and he was only fifteen steps from the ground when a high pitched roar echoed from a short distance. A roar Jack recognised only too well. The familiar crashing of trees was coming too close too quickly, and Charlie was still too high from the ground.

"Charlie, you'll have to jump!"

"Are you out of your bloody mind?" Charlie exclaimed.

Jack swallowed. Charlie was only seven steps up, he could make it if he tried..

"You'll be fine!" Jack called. "I promise! I'll catch you."

"That's what Hurley said!" Charlie cried.

"I promise," Jack said again, this time more seriously. The monster roared again, even closer than before. Now Jack's own stomach was churning.

Charlie looked down to the ground, face in a panic. He was sweating horrible, and the monster was only growing closer.

"Charlie, jump!" Jack yelled.

At the cry Charlie leaped, falling through the air just as a swarm of darkness whirled by. Jack just missed seeing it, just missed finding out what was causing this death and destruction, when Charlie fell in his arms, sending him crashing to the ground. Landing face first in the dirt below Jack's heart skipped a beat as his head smash against the ground, plunging him into a threatening darkness. He could vaguley hear the sound of the monster fading, and a large weight left him as Charlie rolled off his back. Whispers were heard as Charlie began talking to Hurley, but Jack remained on the ground even as the monster was long gone. What the hell just hadn't? Why hadn't he been more careful? What if he had died?

"You okay there mate?" Charlie asked from somewhere above him, sounding cheerful yet concerned.

Staring into the darkness behind his eyes lids, Jack couldn't answer. He was stunned into a black wall, in shock of the sudden blow. Memories flooded through his mind, sending him transparancies of falling planes and screaming bodies.

"That's some cut," Charlie observed. He was knealing beside Jack, studying at the cut he could see as Jack had finally been able to lift his head up. It felt heavy and clogged, like it was too full. "You okay?"

Jack didn't answer him. Instead he began to stand, picking himself off the ground limb by limb as he let the dirt fall off of him. Mud clung to his clothes but he ignored it, as well as the bleeding slit in his forehead.

"Jack?" Charlie asked, more serious now.

Ignoring Jack mechanically stalked off, leaving Charlie and Hurley behind, only partially aware of doing so. He walked until he was far out, far enough out to reach a cliff. The same cliff he had ushered Alex away from only days before. Tears stung at Jack's eyes, poking at a release as he sat down in the grass. His eyes didn't leave the scenery beyond the cliff as he settled down, resting on his elbows. Once on the ground he gave himself time to catch his breath, realizing that he was panting uncontrolably for air. How far had he run?

In front of them the world seemed to stretch for miles in a picture of mountains in streams, zigzaging through each other in a race to the end. At the realization that this side of the jungle was quiet, Jack pondered why the monster never seemed to move anywhere. It would attack and then just disapear, like nothing ever happened. The thoughtlessness of it all made Jack angry, though it could be easily accepted that monsters wouldn't have feelings anyway.

He didn't know how long he sat there by the cliff's edge, laying lost in thought as he let his mind take over; a dangerous risk, he knew, but Jack couldn't give hmself any other choice. It was too hard of a fight, and Jack was losing miserably. No matter how hard he tried to push it away he was still haunted with guilt. No matter how much Kate's voice echoed in his head, telling him it wasn't his fault, the scene would play over and over again, and it was the only sensible explination.

But when he really dug deep, really tried hard to find excuses, Jack could blame it on the monster. And of course he could. And should. Why not? That thing was out there looming in the jungle, waiting to attack whenever pausible. That thing killed Alex with no remorse, setting Jack up for the blame. It made perfect sense in a twisted way. The worse part was that thing was still out there, haunting, just waiting to strike again, and who knew where. Alex's death had been dangerously close to the caves, but surely it wouldn't take that risk. But then again, what risk was that? It wasn't as though Locke could slice at the thing and kill it. What was stopping the monster from attacking the caves? The proof was there that it could take multiple people at once..

Thinking fast Jack got to his feet, taking off towards the caves. He should've realized it the first day the monster made it's debue carnage only a yard or two from the beach. The swaying of the trees around him made Jack run faster, kicking his feet up in violent steps, remembering simular jungle behavior before the near-attack at the radio tower. _That mission went well._

"Jack?" Kate asked as he hurried into the caves, shoving past the crowds.

"I need to make an announcment," he told her, pushing her arm away.

Kate pulled him to the side anyway, studying him in concern. The blood from his cut had clogged a little, but the entire left side of his face looked like he had dyed it red.

"Charlie told me what happened," Kate said quietly, raising a had to his cut, "are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Jack lied, turning away. Clearing his throat he spoke up, catching everyone's attention on the first try. "Hey!" Eyes fell on him, and the caves grew immediatly quiet. Kate stood behind him, puzzled, trying to get his attention with her worried eyes. "Everyone pack up, we're moving to the beach."

There was a pause. Kate gave up, now staring at him in confusion.

"Jack, what-"

"Who says we're any safer here?" Jack said, speaking his theory.

"You did," Claire said, Aaron bouncing in her arms as always.

Charlie was standing beside her, looking confussed and worried like Kate. They were all looking at him like he was insane, and he knew they had every reason to. Claire was right, he was the one that urged them to the caves in the first place. But that was then.

"That was then," Jack said defensivly, speaking his thoughts. Looking around the caves, he noticed some of them were looking at him with intrest, and he realized that most hadn't even heard from him since his shock day. Jack sighed. "Look, Alex's death was only a mile from here. We're not safe anywhere in the jungle."

Claire stared at him a moment longer before shaking her head.

"He's right," she agreed.

Charlie stared at her incredulously.

"He's out of his bloody mind!" Charlie cried. Jack was slight taken aback by the insult, but he didn't interrupt. "All of us at the beach?"

"All of us?" Hurley snorted suddenly. "Dude, look around. Jack's right. We can't afford to lose anyone else."

Jack smiled gratefully, a little relieved at the defense.

"Why would we be safe at the beach?"

Everyone turned, surprised at hearing Sun's voice. Since Jin's death she'd been so soft-spoken, and everyone felt too guilty to say something.

"The monster-" Sun began carefully. Jack shivered at the term. "We don't have any protection there."

"We'll figure something out," Jack said before they had time to concider the argument.

Behind him Kate looked very unsure of what Jack was doing. He felt guilty for not consulting her- or anyone else for that matter- first, but they didn't have a single second to risk.

"I promise," Jack said, trying to bring out his confidence, "we'll be okay."

Another short silence followed his speech. The reactions he got were mixed; some looked conciderate while others looked unsure. But Jack already had his mind made up. They were leaving. The place wasn't safe.

"Try to be out by dark," Jack finished, turning from the crowd as the whispers began. They watched him as he left, already heading to his cave to begin packing, and watched as Kate followed him, flabergasted.

"What was that all about?" Kate demanded, watching Jack as he began throwing medical supplies into bags.

"I think I'll take the supplies first," Jack announced, ignoring her. He gave her a weary smirk. "Worst comes to worse I'll where the same shirt tomorrow."

Kate shook her head.

"What's this about?" She inquired, stepping forward. "Jack-"

She grabbed the towel he was holding before he could stuff it into the back. They faught over it for a moment, tugging it back and forth until Jack finally won, throwing the towel into the bed. As he did he made sure Kate had his eye, meeting hers in triumph. When the towel was as far into the bag as it could go Jack had no choice but to face Kate. Sighing, he ran a hand over his hair. It was getting slightly longer, he noticed, which apparently made it look darker. Jack remembered Kate commenting on it a week ago.

"When a tornado or hurricane comes and you have a roof over your head, does it stop the storm from taking down the house?" Jack asked Kate, proud of his quick metephor.

"I wouldn't know," Kate said quietly in light humor, "I'm from Canada."

She offered him a small smile, and Jack couldn't help but to return it.

"Well it doesn't," Jack said for her, "not all the time, anyway, and that's the risk we have here. People think that just because we have walls we're cealed in. Safe."

"That's what you said," Kate pointed out softly, "going back on your word will shake their faith."

Jack stopped packing and looked down to the floor.

"I know."

Half-smiling sympathetically, Kate squeezed his shoulder. She had been waiting for weeks for Jack to offer to move to the beach, but not like this. However, Jack had his points, and she knew he needed the support.

"Need any help?" She asked finally.

Jack laughed a little.

"I'd love some."

(space)

"Do you have enough room?" Kate asked Jack, knealing from the low cealing of her tent.

Jack stared down thoughtfully at the bags on the sand.

"For now," he said.

He was exhausted, feeling like he couldn't lift another finger. Mentally and phsyically tired, Jack felt like someone was constantly wringing the exhaust out of him, slowly ridding him of the emotion. Very slowly.

"I'm turning in," Jack said, shaking his head. If he tried to sleep thinking like this he'd never get any rest.

Giving Kate a kiss he realized how distant she was when she hardly respond, looking away as Jack stepped back.

"Something wrong?" Jack asked her, concerned.

Kate shook her head.

"I need some air," she said quickly, and stepped out of the tent before Jack could say anything. He looked after her, but he didn't hear her footsteps disapear. In a few minutes, he decided, I'll go after her.

(space)

The night air was a relief from the crowded tent, now with less space than ever with all of Jack's things. She didn't mind, she'd just always been claustraphoic. Running her hand through her hair, Kate concidered taking a swim- her hair felt greasy, and she pulled away a few traces of sand- but a distraction caught her eye. Danielle was lingering nearby, rifle settled stifly on her shoulder. Her eyes were searching the tent, as if looking for someone.

"Need something?" Kate called to her.

She hardly talked to Danielle, but she knew threw Jack the struggle she had with the mother-daughter relationship.

Danielle stared at her for a moment before replying, eyeing her with her old expression of curiosity and parinoia.

"Is Jack here?" Danielle asked, approaching her.

Kate eyed her suspiciously. Danielle and Jack had been careuflly avoiding each other since the funeral. She couldn't imagine what she would want now.

"He's asleep," Kate replied.

But Danielle kept walking, quickling walking across the beach at a pace that made Kate feel slightly nervous. When Danielle reached her she took Kate by the shoulders, shaking her slightly as she spoke.

"I need to talk to Jack," she said, her voice wavering.

From the corner of her eye Kate noticed Sebastian looking over, putting a hand over Michelle even though she was asleep on the ground next to her.

"He needs to get some rest," Kate told her, trying to pry Danielle's hands from her shoulders.

Her fingernails only dug deeper into Kate's skin, and Kate winced as her skin turned red in the moonlight.

"Let me talk to Jack," Danielle demanded, her voice becoming darker.

"He-"

Kate gasped as she was suddenly thrown aside. Now more people were looking on, and Kate thought it was a wonder that Jack himself hadn't come out at the disturbance.

"Jack?" Danielle called softly to the tent, her eyes wild. It was like she wasn't herself.

"You can talk to him in the morning," Kate said, recovering from the toss. She grabbed Danielle's arm in attempts to pull her away from the tent's entrance.

Danielle resisted, slinging her arm around. Whether she meant to or not her fist connected with Kate's face. Immediatly feeling blood Kate clutched her cheek.

"Hey, lay off!"

Sawyer came out of nowhere and forced Danielle away, but showing surprising resist she threw herself at Kate again, shoving her back violently. Landing hard on her stomach, Kate noticed just int time as Danielle's rifle came around, and grabbed it before it reached her. They struggled until finally Kate reached up with a foot, sending a kick to Danielle's ribs.

"Hey!"

Danielle backed away in pain, stopping at the sound of Jack's voice. Kate let go of the gun, her hands sore, feeling out of breath. He waited for someone to say something, but even Danielle was speahless. Instead of saying what she needed to to Jack, Danielle turned her back on them all, disapearing into the jungle. Jack looked after her for a short moment but was immediatly at Kate's side, helping her up.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked her quietly. Onlookers were parting around them, though some were able to catch the concern in his voice, more deep in worry than ever.

Kate nodded.

"I think so."

She looked up at him, meeting his eyes. Kate was afraid to tell him the truth.

"My stomach hurts," she whispered relucantly.

Jack's eyes lingered with her, sharing her fear. They gradually became aware of some eyes that were still on them, and Jack forced himself out of it. He helped Kate up with a hand, subconsiouly placing his free one on her back.

"Let's get that cut cleaned," Jack said, running a finger across the new wound on Kate's cheek.

Kate flenched at the touch.

"It's fine," she protested.

She was feeling tired and a little nausiated. Her stomach hurt, and Kate could only pray that didn't mean anything. But all she really wanted to do was get some sleep.

"We didn't bring any water?" Jack said, frustrated as he through some junk aside from inside the tent.

Kate snapped out of her thoughts.

"I guess not," she finally said.

Sighing, Jack gazed into the jungle.

"I'll get some flashlights."

(space)

"Ow!" Kate cried. "Jack.."

She tried to force Jack's hand away at the stinging pain.

"Sorry," Jack apologized, ignoring the resistance and going back to work.

Carefully he cleaned the cut, taking extra care to the bruise forming around the cut. It wasn't very deep, but Jack couldn't stand the way it stood out on Kate's face.

"Will it need stitches?" Kate asked nervously.

Jack examined the cut again.

"I think you're safe," he said, gaving her a reassuring smile.

Sharing the smile in relief, Jack loosened up a little.

"I think you're set to go," Jack said, getting up from where he sat on a rock. It felt funny to be able to actually sit where he pleased without someone talking nearby or shoving past every few seconds. Now vacant and empty, the caves looked exactly like the way Jack found them. Minus the skeletons. Shuddering, Jack hoped a 'yet' couldn't be added to that thought.

"Jack?"

He turned at Danielle voice, quiet despite the cave's echo. Jack glanced to Kate, who stood up.

"I'll wait for you," she whispered.

"Not outside," Jack replied immediatly.

Kate didn't like being told what to do, but she was hardly aware that she didn't protest as she headed their former cave. As she left Kate noticed Danielle had a hand on her ribs, as if in pain.

"I'm sorry I kicked you," Kate whispered quietly, walking away before Danielle could offer anything in return.

Jack waited until Kate was out of earshot before speaking up. Being in Danielle's presence didn't help his mood, and certainly not his guilt. Now he felt bad for never even saying anything to her.

"How's the rib?" Jack asked, pointing to Danielle's stomach.

"I wanted to give you this," Danielle said quietly, holding out something as she stepped towards Jack.

In her hands was a backpack and black sweatshirt that once belonged to Alex. He remembered Alex always wearing it, despite the holes from when Adam had it on during the crash.

"You didn't-" Jack began as he was forced to take Alex's things.

"I'm sorry," Danielle whispered softly, barely audible.

She refused to meet Jack's eyes as she turned around, walking away and leaving Jack with the baggage. Even though the luggage was lightweight it felt like a burden as Jack stared down at his, unaware Kate was watching from nearby.

_What ravenges of spirit_

_Conjured this temperous rage_

That night Jack snuck out, heading for the graveyard. A smoky humidity told him that he had company before he even saw the fire, and sure enough Sayid was sitting there, a campfire burning a few feet away from the graves in front of him.

_Created you a monster_

_Broken by the rule of love_

"Sorry," Jack said quickly, "I'll leave."

"No," Sayid said, "sit down."

Hesitating first, Jack sat down beside Sayid, and gazed down for a moment at Shannon's grave.

_When fate has led you through it_

_You do what you have to do _

"I never got to say I was sorry," Jack said quietly. Sayid didn't reply. "For Shannon, I mean."

No answer. The fire crackled next to them, zoning out the distant sound of chirping crickets.

The silence was becoming intemidating, reminding Jack of his reason for coming here. His eyes trailed to Alex's grave marking. As he stared at the grave he remembered the black sweatshirt, and scolded himself for not thinking to bury her in it. He didn't know exactly what he came to the grave for. Maybe reassurance. Maybe closure. Whatever is was, Jack was desperate for it.

_When fate has led you through it_

_You do what you have to do_

"I miss her," Jack admited, choking out his words as he faught back tears.

Beside him, Sayid seemed unaffected by the words, and Jack almost wanted to shout. But he knew that Sayid had his own burden to carry. At least Jack had Kate now, and a child on the way. At least he had something to be grateful for.

"At least you know how she died," Sayid whispered.

Sayid almost seemed on the edge of tears himself, more emotional than Jack had ever seen him before. He seemed to catch this, and stood up.

"I'll go," Jack offered, though he really wanted to stay.

"I have places I need to be," Sayid announced, stalking off into the jungle and leaving Jack alone at the fire.

_But I have the sense to recognize_

_That I don't know how to let you go_

In the hatch Boone missed the Danielle commotion, as he was busy typing in names from the passenger manifest.

_Every morning marked_

_With apparitions of your soul_

The names came slowly to mind even though they were right there in front of him, like some higher power was letting the final hit come as slowly as possible. Because he knew one name that wouldn't be on the list when he was done.

_I'm ever swiftly moving_

_Trying to escape this desire_

Locke was with Callum, who was taking a turn for the worse, in the back room, leaving Boone to deal with the newly fixed computer. Boone felt bad for Callum's condition, but he couldn't help to feel that no one's pain could match his, and no one's should. He didn't care how selfish it sounded, but it was like he literally had nothing now. Like his whole life was useless. The one thing that always mattered had been taken away. It wasn't there anymore.

_The yearning to be with you_

_I do what I have to do_

As Boone came closer to the end of the list- the new list- he knew he had to face it. But even as he typed in the last name he found himself scanning the paper over and over again, desperatly wishing there'd been some mistake made. Maybe he had dreamed it all, like one horrible nightmare. At last the final line on the computer was filled, and the screen autimatlly clicked to a completed list. Now it was Boone's job to okay it. Finger trembling it hovered over the keys, waiting until the very last second before he had to push the button. As the map began to jump to life, filling out familiar landmarks, Boone decided that just because Shannon's name wasn't listed didn't mean anything. She was gone, but not truly. As long as her memory was there..

_The yearning to be with you_

_I do what I have to do_

At her tent Sun stood, for some reason not able to settle down. Only to well in her mind was the finding of the caves, and Jin's urgency of getting her to safety. Now it was her, on her own.

"Sun?"

She turned at Kate's voice, but was unable to say anything. Kate seemed to understand, and put an arm around her, offering Sun a supporting hug. Behind them Jin's luggage still sat in the corner, untouched and unmoved.

_But I have the sense to recognize_

_That I don't know how to let you go_

Danielle didn't have the strength to travel through the jungle at night, falling in a near collasp once she reached a private beach. She had dropped to the ground, letting it go very noticed that she was alone.

"Danielle?" Locke asked from behind her.

_A flowing ember, burning hot_

_Burning slow_

"I gave Jack her things," Danielle whispered softly, lacking the energy to turn him away.

Or maybe it was because part of her really wanted him there. She didn't want to do this alone. Not again.

"You didn't have to do that," Locke told her, sitting down to her left.

"I know," Danielle said quietly.

Feeling Locke behind her and sensing his concern, Danielle could feel her emotions become vulnerable, tears clouding in her eyes before finally releashing themselves, being held back for far to long.

_And deep within I'm shaken by the violence of excisting_

_For only you.._

Locke held her as she cried, breaking down in his arms. He stared coldly at the sea, suddenly angry at the world. Too many old feelings were arising, for Locke knew only too well what it was like to lose a child.

_I know I can't be with you_

_I do what I have to do_

And maybe he could save her before she made some of the same mistakes he almost did.

_Oh I know I can't be with you_

_I do what I have to do_

Rebecca sat down beside Sawyer without asking permission, eyeing the fire in front of him as she did. It blazed, highlighting the age-old ink from the letter in his hands.

"I just wanted you to know," Rebecca began quietly, speaking into his ear, "that I don't want to give up. I don't want you to give this up, Sawyer." He didn't reply, but she could've sworn she heard him listening. "You're better then what's in that letter. I know it, and you know it. So please, _please_ just..stop." She let a tear fall from her face, if not to show Sawyer how deeply she felt about this. "Just stop."

_And I have the sense to recognize_

_That I don't know how to let you go_

She looked down at his hand, and watched in wonder as the letter slowly crumbled to a fist in his hands, crinkling with fire and sounding hope.

_Don't know how to let you go_

And slowly, one line at a time, Sawyer let the letter drop, falling in a graceful decent to the falmes where it set, allowing itself to be eaten up, bit by this.

_Don't know how..to let you go_

For a moment they both sat there in amazed shock, Sawyer too zoned out to say anything. Even Rebecca couldn't find the words. Instead she reached for his hand and squeezed it, the same hand the letter sat in so many times as he read it, memorizing it into a perfect recital. Now if only he could forget it.

_And I don't know how_

_To let you go.._

**Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, in "In the End":**

Dreams haunt Jack, and Callum's injury doesn't stay secret for long.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	34. Haunted

In the End

Chapter Thirty-Four

**Chapter Thirty-Four:** Haunted

_A fire crackled. Stirring, Jack frowned as he was awoken by a soft strumming from nearby. He looked up, confused and saw that the fire was indeed still burning; and across from it sat Alex, playing guitar. Alive and well. Her hair hung in layers around her face as she fingered chords, combing the notes that made up the familiar song of "The Stranger"..the Billy Joel song with the piano tune she had always been humming. But now..now she was hear playing it, alive._

_"Hey," Alex greeted as Jack became fully awoken, "you wanna help me?"_

_Jack just stared at her, not sure what to think. Had it all been a dream? He looked around at the graveyard he was asleep in. Even in the dark Jack could see that Shannon's grave-mark was still there..and so was Alex's. What the hell was going on?_

_"There's this string," Alex explained, plucking a badly out of tune A, "it's driving me insane trying to tune it. Here."_

_He could only stare at the guitar as she handed it to him over the fire. As it passed the flames there was a loud whoosh, but the instrument didn't get damaged, Jack observed._

_"I don't play," Jack reminded her._

_Alex laughed._

_"It's just one note," she said with a bemused smile, "come on, help me."_

_Muscles feeling stiff and brain heavy, Jack balanced the guitar on his knee, which was dangerously close to the flames itself. He places his hands on the threfts, though he had no clue what to do._

_"This can help me boost sells, you know," Alex babbled on, "Charlie was talking about it, with the crash and all?"_

_This certainly wasn't like Alex, Jack thought as he studied the guitar confessedly. The strings looked broken in yet new, and there wasn't a single scratch on the instrument's surface. During her stay on the island, Alex never once mentioned profiting from their experience, and hardly ever mentioned her musical career at all. Every now and then something about Adam would escape, but that would be all._

_"So go ahead," Alex said cheerfully, crossing her legs as she folded her hands in her lap, acting more bouncy and energetic than Jack had ever seen her before._

_Not wanting to let her down, Jack managed a weary smile. Though he was shocked to find Alex alive, Jack quickly wanted to take advantage of having her back; making up for what he did to her. Taking a deep breath, Jack placed a finger over what Alex had pointed out as the A string, and pressed his finger down hard on the string. With his other hand Jack strummed the note, resulting in a painfully wrong tune of a C. Alex let out a dry laugh in front of him, and Jack scrawled to himself for his failed attempt. Once again Jack placed his fingers over the strings, but as he began to strum again, something went terribly wrong. The guitar became steadily lighter in his hands, and lighter in color as well. Confused, Jack looked down to see the guitar fading quickly from his grip. Across from him Alex watched, horrified as her possession of pride and joy vanished right before her very eyes. The flames suddenly flickered madly in front of him, stretching in a threat to capture Jack's skin and burn it into a disappearance. Just like the guitar._

_"Why did you do that?" Alex demanded, her voice rising and falling in panic, face frightened._

_"Alex, I'm-" Jack began desperately, but the flames were becoming too much. He coughed as they jumped closer, fire burning sweat on his forehead._

_"What did you do?" Alex screeched into the night._

_Surely someone heard that. Jack looked around, nervous. He opened his mouth to plead to her to calm down, but the flames were engulfing the scene. No longer could he make out the grave markings; he had enough trouble concentrating on keeping Alex's face in view, however angry and red it was. The wind kicked up just then, pushing the flames around them though leaving the trees unmoving, and in a blink of an eye, Alex was gone._

Jack woke up with a gasp to loud panting. Groaning and rolling over, he saw that it was morning. Above the trees around him the sun was shinning, and the grave markings glistened in the rays. The fire that had burned so feverishly in his dream was now put to rest. Fighting to calm down, Jack didn't realize for a moment that the panting didn't belong to him. Vincent was eye to eye to him, wagging his tail excitedly as he greeted Jack for the first time in months. No one had even seen Vincent around since Michael and Walt were taken.

"Hey buddy," Jack sighed in relief, scratching the lab's ears. Vincent barked in response, laying down and rolling over on its back beside Jack. He couldn't help but to laugh; he must've been the first person the dog saw in weeks, "what're you doing back here?"

Vincent barked again and jumped up at the question. Puzzled by the sudden movement, Jack scurried to his feet, and followed Vincent as he charged through the jungle. After awhile the trees began to look the same, and Jack began to panic; but loud barking eased his nerves, and Jack quietly made his way over to some brush Vincent was hiding behind. Carefully, Jack took his place beside Vincent, and the dog quickly looked from him to the parting branches, giving him just enough room to see through the clearing. Sayid and Boone were standing there, talking in low voices.

"At least we got the system back up, right?" Boone was pointing out.

System? The word stuck out to Jack like mismatched socks: something just didn't seem right about it. Furrowing his eyebrows, Jack scooted in closer hear better.

"The system isn't everything," Sayid replied dryly, almost seeming insulted that Boone would suggest such a thing.

Vincent looked up to Jack as if asking him what was going on.

"Good boy," Jack whispered in praise, patting Vincent's head, "go find Sun."

He didn't know why Jack sent the dog to Sun, and after thinking about it for a moment, he realized what a sad shocker. After all, she had been closed with Michael, and then out of no where his dog comes up. Shaking himself out of it, Jack scolded himself for thinking so ridiculously. Sayid and Boone were discussing some kind of system, and he was contemplating guilt over a dog.

"You wouldn't say that if John were here," Boone snorted in a knowing way, clearly hitting a nerve.

"Then it's a good thing he's not here," Sayid recovered smoothly, hostility rather than defeat in his tone.

Boone's smirk faded, losing once again. Jack watched the two argue, trying to figure out what was going on while feeling slightly betrayed for being left in the dark. While he was theoretically still leader, there was no doubt in his mind that mini alliances had been made throughout the camp. Cutting into Jack's thoughts, Boone sighed.

"What are we going to do?" He inquired, sounding like he was ready to give up.

Sayid suddenly stepped out of his box just then, as if switching sides of his character. Ignoring Boone's question Sayid turned to the jungle around them, eyes landing on the exact spot Jack was standing on at that moment. Jack froze, feeling even his mind stop as Sayid's eyes fell on him, just missing making eye contact. He almost expected Sayid to point him out or charge forward, but Sayid simply inverted his concentration back to the problem at hand, still unknown to Jack.

"Give me some time," Sayid replied, remaining calm though Boone seemed helpless.

He stalked off, leaving Boone alone in the clearing. Afraid any movement would draw attention to himself, Jack watched as Boone stared at the ground, as if praying for the earth to bring him answers. Then, giving one final sigh, Boone left as well.

(space)

Sun found Sayid rummaging through his open tent, used as more of a storage center than a place of living. Her right hand clutched tightly around the object in her hand, Sun had to remind herself to breathe as she approached him, every step of the way contemplating turning and running away.

"Sayid?" Sun called in a soft, cautious voice, careful not to startle him.

For a second Sayid tensed, but immediately eased at Sun's voice. Seeing this made her smile a little.

"Good morning," Sayid greeted, offering Sun the smallest of smiles in return for hers. While her attention was taken by the greeting and her reason for coming to him, Sayid stuffed some papers underneath a suitcase. "What can I help you with?"

Instead of responding verbally, Sun held out her hand, slowly releasing her clutched fist to reveal a golden watched that twinkled in the sun's rays. She waited for him to say something as Sayid studied the watch, taking in its smooth exterior and obviously expensive make.

"That's quite a gift," Sayid commented.

"It was Jin's," Sun confessed.

"May I?"

Carefully handing Sun the watch, she let each link of the thick chain that held the watch together dropped one by one out of her hand as the jewelry slid into Sayid's palm. He examined it carefully, noting that there was no label of where it was from.

"Where is this from?" Sayid questioned more seriously than he meant to, slightly startling Sun into silence as he held her watch in his hand. Realizing how forcefully he was coming on Sayid sighed. "It doesn't work," he observed.

Sun looked down, a little embarrassed at her shyness. She was usually comfortable with speaking out around people she was familiar with, though she was able to blend in if society demanded it.

"I was hoping you could look at it," Sun explained at last, determined to build up her confidence in order to make her cause seem more worthy. "Please, I-"

"It won't be any trouble," Sayid promised reassuringly, "I'd be happy to look at it."

Waiting until he received Sun's half-smile of approval, Sayid crouched down into the sand, kneeling beside stack of luggage that could serve as a temporary worktable.

"But I must warn you," Sayid went on, "I'm not used to models of such make and expense-" he looked directly at Sun, "especially when I don't know it's origin."

"Is that important?" Sun asked, swallowing.

Jin worked so hard to conceal his secret occupation, lying to everyone from the everyday citizen to Sun herself, and she knew why. Sun shivered, knowing what her father was capable of. If there was any chance they were to ever get rescued, and something slipped..

"It could be," Sayid admitted, "different watches can operate in different ways-" with a sharp tool that appeared out of nowhere, Sayid was able to pop open the back of the watch, "but luckily it's a very similar process of time." For a moment he worked, examining the interior of the watch closely. "If you don't mind me asking, why fix this now?"

Sun grew momentarily distant, remembering how important it was to Jin to have the watch- he nearly killed Michael over it. In the end he must've given it up, because they found the watch on Michael's wrist. Even though that would've required a lot of courage from someone who rarely liked to admit their mistakes, Sun couldn't bring herself to allow the jewelry to be buried. So she kept it.

"Sentimental value," she replied honestly.

The answer seemed to please Sayid. Sun smiled sadly, accepting a pause that followed. She glanced to the side, hoping to find something to spark conversation, preferably away from her. To her luck, a purple necklace was dangling from a handle of a suitcase, latched carefully around it in keepsake.

"Was that Shannon's?" Sun asked carefully.

Sayid looked up at her, and Sun nodded to the necklace. He glanced back at it. At first it was as though Sayid was seeing the necklace for the first time, but then his expression softened tremendously. Reaching to it, Sayid carefully unlatched the chain and placed the necklace in his palm. He stared at it, lost for a moment, before Sun's shadow reminded him of his visitor.

"Would you liked to keep it?"

That was the last thing she expected him to say, and the last thing she wanted to hear. She hoped that wasn't the message she sent at asking him about the jewelry. Caught in the moment, Sun was unsure of what to say. To be fair, should she offer him the watch? But she didn't want to give it to him. She just wanted him to fix it. It was the most valuable thing- both in price and memory- she had left of Jin, as the necklace was with Shannon. Why then, was he so quick to get rid of it?

"Boone," she said suddenly, the name stumbling out of her mouth.

The name seemed to bring Sayid back to reality, his reaction expressing realization, as for the moment they were the only two around.

"I'm sure he-" Sayid began, and was almost grateful when Sun cut him off. Saying Boone wouldn't mind would be lying through his teeth.

"No," Sun said, pointing, "Boone."

Turning, Sayid saw that Boone was standing, watching the two in a still shock of disbelief. Sayid gripped the necklace tightly to keep it from sliding, he couldn't escape meeting Boone's eyes of betrayal. He quickly looked away.

"If you wish," he continued, swallowing, "I can let you know about the watch in a few hours."

Sun smiled gratefully.

"Thank you," she expressed, sounding relieved.

She glanced up to offer sympathy to Boone, but he was already gone, only his tracks in the sand left behind. As she walked away she left Sayid sitting there in the sand, necklace still in hand as he stared down at it.

(space)

Kate bit her lip as she stood in the sand, ignoring the fact that she was in the middle of the beach, in everyone's way. People walked past, still transporting luggage from the caves, without a care to her worries. Constantly she scanned the jungle, but in the end she focused on a single path that came out of the woods. That would be the one he'd come out of, she decided. She held a hand to her cheek, now bruised from Danielle's fist, partially to ease the pain, partial to prevent the questions. Because then they'd ask about Jack. How was she supposed to explain his running off in the middle of the night? She wouldn't even know what she was lying about.

"You looked perplexed."

Her heart nearly leaped at Jack's voice. It was all she could do to cover not being caught in surprise. He'd come up from behind her, how'd she miss him? Nevertheless, Kate smiled to herself.

"Perplexed, huh?" Kate teased.

"Yeah," Jack said, approaching her, "after walking by Sawyer I decided I needed to expand my vocabulary."

Grinning, Kate turned around to greet him.

"Where have you been?" Kate demanded, crossing her arms.

Jack looked apologetic, but not too sympathetic.

"I just needed to do something," he replied.

She knew he was doing his best to answer accurately without revealing too much.

"I wake up in the middle of the night and you're not there," Kate expressed, hurt, "what am I supposed to think?"

"I don't know," Jack shrugged, taking out a full bottle of water from his bag, "possibly what could one be doing in the middle of the night?"

He took a swig of the water and handed it to Kate, who glared at it in disgust. At the reaction, Jack placed the bottle back in the bag.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely, "next time I want to sneak out, I'll tell you first."

Kate rolled her eyes at the sarcasm, too relived to have the heart to fight back.

"How's the cut?" Jack asked, reaching up and gently touching the bruise on Kate's cheek.

"Fine," Kate replied.

She winced in pain as Jack's finger brushed against the scarred skin. Jack brought his hand down, giving her a look that read "I told you so".

"I'm fine," Kate said, trying to sound more confident. "Have you eaten?"

Jack glanced towards the jungle for a moment, as if having to think about the question.

"I'm not hungry," he replied, more softly than before, the spark of his voice now gone.

Kate frowned as he began to walk towards their new home on the beach, past those who still whispered every time one of the two walked by; especially after Jack's abrupt decision to move. She watched him as they walked, and Kate began to wonder if he had slept during his night out. Jack looked exhausted to say the least, with familiar bags lying even heavier underneath his eyes.

"Has Danielle dropped by?" He asked, smoothly changing the subject.

"Do you really expect her to?" Kate asked, momentarily forgetting her worry, remembering Danielle's sudden outburst of emotion from the night before. None of them had never seen her like that before, and Kate was sure she wasn't the only one who felt guilty for not giving much thought to her reaction of Alex's death. Her daughter's death.

Jack held the flap open for Kate as they stepped into the tent. From the entrance, Kate watched as Jack poured some of his water onto a towel and place it on his forehead.

"Feeling lightheaded?" Kate asked, concerned.

He shook his head.

"Didn't get much sleep," he admitted, confirming Kate's thoughts.

Though if he wanted he had all the time in the world to nap that morning, Kate knew he'd do whatever it took to stay awake anyway, especially now that Danielle had run off and, of course, the baby. The baby. It was just so weird to think, and after what happened with Sarah, God only knew what was going through Jack's mind.

(space)

_That night Jack didn't get much sleep as well. He tossed and turned for what felt like no reason at all; he was exhausted. Staring up at the tarp ceiling of the tent, Jack tried to concentrate on falling asleep. At last after what felt like hours, Jack slowly drifted off into a dream, but even in his sleep he felt deprived of true rest._

_He was back at the grave-site. A fire was blowing around him, and he feared the heat as it grew nearer, but felt no pain as the flames grazed him. It was almost as though he was physically feeling his fear. Soon the ground began to vibrate beneath him, and Jack gasped in pain as he suddenly hit a hard dirt floor, dirt and earth following him as he fell through the ground, covering him as he fell in a heap. However, when he looked up next he was standing, despite his fall. He looked around, confused, and it took him a moment to realize that he was standing right at the feet of something. Jack looked down. Alex's body was sprawled out on the floor. Instead of laying in a peaceful rest like when they buried her, her head was turned to the side, as if she was only sleeping. Jack stared at the body, guilt flowing back through him as he stared at the girl he could not save. The same girl who suddenly appeared on the other end of the grave, supplying the whimpering tears that softly filled the ground. Jack didn't take the time to noticed the ground above him was now closed in._

_"Alex?" He asked softly, puzzled as he watched the same girl who's dead body was laying at his feet cry, knees drawn to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She was staring at her dead form just as he had, terrified in shock of what she was seeing._

_"I-" she failed to form words, choking on her tears as she forced herself to speak. She looked up to Jack. Meeting her eyes was just as real as ever, the same emotion as would ever be. They were dark, full of hurt and betrayal. Never again would they shine, letting in a moment of happiness. Such dead trauma never allowed such a thing. Not on this island. "What happened?"_

_Jack was at loss for words. Alex was now trembling violently in her shock in confusion, and part of this let Jack actually hope that she would forget about the possibility of accusations. But he knew that wasn't fair. He owed it to her to give her the truth._

_"I'm sorry," he said at least, "I tried-"_

_"No you didn't!" Alex exclaimed, tears rushing down her face. She couldn't even continue. Her eyes still glued to his, she was able to express what she needed to say, needed to accuse. He failed her, and she knew it._

"Maybe you should get some rest," Kate suggested as she threw some wood onto a pile that would soon be a campfire. It was a cool morning, and with the sun hiding behind the clouds heat felt necessary.

"I'm fine," Jack protested, just like the day before. After his dream he'd woken up, feeling cold but oddly enough not in a sweat, like waking up from normal nightmares. He was unable to fall back asleep, and was partially afraid too. Not wanting to startle Kate again by sneaking out, Jack was forced to lay their with the memories of the dream and the guilt it brought. It felt like punishment; cruel and unusual punishment. "I'll see you later."

"Where are you going?" Kate inquired as Jack left the tent without so much as a proper good-bye.

Jack ignored her, too tired to remember to explain himself. He left the tent, only half aware of what he was doing and having no clue where he was going. His eyelids felt heavy, stinging to be closed, but Jack refused to allow it.

(space)

Later that day Kate sat alone on the shore. The sun was bright now, but Jack sitting near a blazing fire nearby. He received his fair share of looks as people passed, including Kate who Jack hadn't even noticed. Disgusted with this, Kate walked right on by, taking her place in the sand away from him. It didn't take long before Sawyer approached her, his usual grin of amusement plastered over whatever was really on his mind.

"You know, if he doesn't watch out," Sawyer began about Jack, "someone's going to trip right over that fire of his."

"Jack's fine," Kate lied, unable to speak truthfully because she didn't know what the truth was.

Sawyer didn't say it but she knew he didn't believe her as he sat down, taking a spot beside her unlike he had been doing recently. Suddenly she came to realize that they didn't talk like they used to; no one talked like they used to. Relationships had become strained, and within trauma people only allowed themselves to be with those they thought they could trust. Those they thought could help them, were they to ever muster up the courage to ask.

"So what's with you lately?" Sawyer inquired, sparing Kate the chance for silence, unlike Jack, who would usually offer her a moment or two before speaking. "You've been all distant."

She almost snorted at the accusation. What did he expect of her?

"I don't know," Kate said casually, "maybe it's the fact that Jack's depressed-" her tone turned suddenly cold- "or maybe it's that plane I saw crash in the jungle."

"Jack's not depressed," Sawyer argued, snickering in amusement.

As if to prove her point, Kate turned around to where Jack was sitting at his fire, oblivious to those walking around him; the world going by. Helpless, Kate turned back to the sea, yearning for the escape it once provided.

"And what plane?"

She held back a sigh, realizing Sawyer wouldn't know what she was talking about. Holding her stare, deep down she hoped, somehow, Sawyer would forget his question. But of course he wouldn't. They were stranded on an island, and she was talking about a plane.

"The day Alex died," Kate began quietly, eyes growing distance in pain at the memories that flashed in her mind as she told her story, "this plane it..it crashed."

Sawyer looked at her, incredulous. Kate felt like she was shrinking, being punished for something she didn't do.

"Yeah, now's the time to tell us," Sawyer snapped.

She flinched a little at the comment, but baring herself for the memories of pain that would come- not only from her experience but from Jack's trauma as well- Kate forced herself to continue.

"Sawyer-" she began quietly, the dead man's name that now belonged to a fake identity coming out of her mouth in reluctant hesitance, a way of avoiding a slow continuing of the truth, "the plane..it got it."

"What do you mean, 'it got it'?" Sawyer said.

Kate was afraid to answer. His tone was unlike one he ever used, a seriousness that exposed something from within him, an opinion or emotion snapping out at you for the attention. And in this case, it was butchered hope.

"The monster, Sawyer," Kate began softly, swallowing hard, "it.."

Now she was beginning to understand what drove Jack into his deep reverie that day: a memory so tragic that it was physically painful to accept. A failure and guilt that was uncallfor, that no one would understand, but it was still there, and the embarrassment that went with it. A fear of exposing such trauma to an innocent society.

Luckily for Kate, she didn't need to go on. Sawyer didn't push her, caught in a mixed reaction of something so absorbed one would've thought they had been sucked into a horror film, one where happy endings existed only a world away. Where one could experience so much death and still be expected to live their lives easily.

"I burnt my letter," Sawyer said suddenly over the silence, a quiet change of subject that was familiar with unwanted conversations, but yet considered a certain disrespect when such a serious topic was being discussed. So Kate couldn't help but to turn to him, both puzzled by the interruption and in wonder of his words.

"What?" She said, currently empathetic towards confession.

"My letter," Sawyer repeated, tone harsh with the same pain Kate was all too familiar with, "I burnt it."

His eyes bore like fire into hers, daring her to say something, daring her to congratulate or put down. Daring her to say that everything would be okay, or to shove it off like it meant nothing. Daring her into a pause in which she searched for words to say that wouldn't startle his emotions.

"What made you do it?" She asked finally, deciding it was a safe question, one that didn't require her own personal opinion.

Sawyer simply shrugged, looking back out to see. In her mind Kate could see a cigaret dangling out of his mouth. A time ago he would've then pulled it out, offering his ruined lounges a breath of air, and then sucked on it again, inching his way towards an early death each time. Or maybe she had just spent too much time with a doctor.

Looking away, Kate offered Sawyer the same relief he gave her of a full confession, but secretly, she was sure she knew why he had done it. It had to be because of Rebecca. Sawyer had carried that letter around for nearly twenty years. The only variable was this island, and though it would constantly push his limits, the only real pressure of changed had obviously come from her. It would be the same as if Kate were to completely destroy the plane, the little toy that sat taped together at the bottom of her bag, unbeknownst to Jack, who originally fixed it back together.

Suddenly Kate shivered. Sawyer made a sudden movement, as if he wanted to say something, but remained silent, easily sliding back into his distant form. The tension made Kate frustrated, made her mind churn for something to say. But all she could come up with was more things she needed to confess. And besides Jack, Sawyer was the next who deserved to know. There were the little things, like descriptive memories of the day Alex died, and then there were the bigger things..she shook at little as she could hear her own voice say it..

_I'm pregnant._

She wondered how he would react. Would he be disappointed? Disgusted? Would he even care? She considered telling him just to have it over with, but Kate remembered her request of Jack. It would be unfair, especially if he had been fighting the temptation to tell himself.

"Yeah," Sawyer said, expressing his southern drawl, though no question or response had been given. Placing his hands on his knees, Sawyer pulled himself to his feet. "Well, that's that."

Kate looked up at him, her mind rushing to say something. He had clearly come to her for something, something which he couldn't say straight out. Something of which Kate was supposed to figure out on her own.

"Hey," she said reassuringly, looking up at him, "I'm proud of you-" she paused, considering her earlier worries of what she was supposed to say, "if you want me to be."

Grinning, Sawyer dismissed the offer.

"Don't be," he said, grimacing in that way he sometimes would whenever someone bothered to say something meaningful to him.

With that he left, escaping any small chance of encouragement or whatever it was he actually came for. Maybe that's why he came to Kate, in-particularly, in the first place. Because he knew she could read him like a book, and the support he needed could go unspoken. But it would still be there. A pang of heartache hit Kate, and in a sudden need for reassurance she looked back to where Jack was. She smiled a little, finding him asleep by the fire with his head propped up by a hand.

(space)

Sawyer found Rebecca lying on the one airplane recliner seat that they still had, one of the only ones, in fact, that had survived the months on the island. He almost spoke up instantly, kidding her to get out of his seat. What stopped him was her expression she saw. Lying on the seat Rebecca had her head turned from him, looking so distant, so completely lost that Sawyer almost turned and ran, feeling insecure about being able to deal with this. He could admit that he wasn't the best with emotions, rather it'd be unfamiliar joy and relief, or his own balled-up pain. But other people..his recent conversation with Kate proved his unworthiness in these kinds of situations.

"I'm sorry I made you burn your letter," Rebecca whispered quietly, sensing his silent presence.

The day after he burnt it he hadn't talked much, too preoccupied with his decision. At times he regretted it. He felt like he wanted to scream. like he wanted to be angry. Like he wanted to kill. It should all be over with if the letter was, was his reasoning. But that was impossible now. Then at other times he felt secretively relieved, feeling like the world was in his hands though on the outside he stood paranoid, as if it were all too good to be true. Unsure of how to approach his emotions, Rebecca kept her distance. No more words of encouragement. No smiles approval. It almost made Sawyer angry..he and that letter had been through a lot.

Now it was Sawyer's turn not to know how to approach the other. He sat down on unoccupied room of the recliner, facing opposite of Rebecca, placing his elbows on his knees.

"Twenty years.." Rebecca trailed off in unbelievable disgust in herself, "God, why'd you let me do that?"

"I don't know," Sawyer spat sarcastically before he could gain control of his tone, "you were the one that seemed so keen to it."

Mentally he kicked himself. As Rebecca's eyes began to water, he quickly realized that was the last thing she needed to hear.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

The seat shifted as Rebecca scooted up, sitting upright beside him.

"You were sure of what you were doing, weren't you?" Rebecca asked him, his eyes following him for a reaction.

He knew her guilt needed to be reassured, and he had no choice but to give a slight nod of response. Technically, he thought, it's not lying. Honestly Sawyer couldn't be sure of his motives. As clear as the memory of that night was it was blurry where his thoughts were concerned, and all he could remember was Rebecca begging him to let go of his past. Throwing out the memory had been so easy, but extinguishing it completely? The thought maybe him shiver, chilling his bones.

Rebecca looked down, clearly relieved. At last she looked up a few moments later, wiping away the tears from her eyes. Guilty, Sawyer continued to look away. Suddenly Rebecca reached behind her and grabbed a bag before madly fishing through it. He listened as she cried out in frustration, unable to find what she was searching for, but Sawyer didn't look at her until she pulled out an all-too familiar book: _October Sky_. Tears once again threatening to stream from her eyes, Rebecca tugged at the corner of the book, and Sawyer was able to grab it, realizing what she was trying to do. She met his eyes, her pupils reeking of apologetic guilt.

"It means just as much," Rebecca breathed, her voice rough and uneven, "as that letter."

He remembered the note written inside, and it was true this was the one item- as far as he knew- Rebecca still had from her previous life. Like the letter, it was prove that she had a past, and more importantly, that now she wasn't who she was supposed to be. Having taken over her twin's identity, the note in that book could've possibly proven the truth. The two pieces of work were so similar, too similar for Sawyer's liking. But now one of them was gone.

At his silence Rebecca jerked the book back towards him, but Sawyer resisted, his strength giving him the ability to pull the novel away, thrusting it into the sand. The page with that very note was torn out halfway. Forcing himself to look down at it, Sawyer noticed the tide was threatening to leak into the pages, and he pulled the book up just in time, but ended up fully ripping the page with the handwritten ink out fully. Taking the note, he forced it into Rebecca's hands, curling her fingers into a first around it.

"Now it's just a book," he said roughly, scaring her with the growling of his words.

The tables were suddenly turned, and Rebecca shook, the page trembling in her hands.

"Damn you," she whispered, voice shaking like mad.

Abruptly she stood, grabbing the book out of his hands with so much force that the pages scratched deeply against his fingers, producing a small red cut that bled crimson against his skin. She stormed off, heading towards the jungle. He let her go, innerly praying she only needed some time to think. It wasn't until she was out of sight that he remembered the dangers of the jungle.

(space)

Jack gasped as he woke up from yet another nightmare. Bright sun-rays blinded his eyes as they snapped open, and Jack's heavy breathing was accompanied by intense heat coming from a still-blowing fire. He didn't see Kate standing behind him until her shadow accidently jumped into view. Jack blushed, or at leas he thought he did, too tired to determine reality. Clearing her throat, Kate presented him with a handmade bowl full of a substance of a color Jack couldn't distinguish in his foggy mind.

"It's tea," Kate explained, seeing his uncertainty. She sat down beside him without asking his permission. "Sun said it would be good for you."

"Good for me?" Jack managed to say.

Kate pushed the bowl closer towards him when Jack turned his nose up at the drank.

"You should drank it," Kate urged softly, her voice sounding soothing against his pounding head and confusing restless mind.

Meeting her eyes, Jack decided he liked the reassurance, and took the tea. He sipped it carefully, letting the liquid warm his insides immediately. The blood flowing to his brain felt rushed for a moment, but then all felt calm, and Jack continued to down the drank, which seemed to please Kate. When he finished drinking the tea he no longer had an excuse for silence, and Kate immediately hit him with a question.

"What's going on, Jack?"

The inquirement almost came like a flashback as Jack remembered being asked the same question their first week on the island, when he had run like mad into the jungle in search for his father. His dead father. This feeling of exhaustion suddenly felt familiar, and with the realization Jack began to feel sick.

"I haven't been sleeping well," Jack admitted, trying to swallow the sudden weakness in his stomach, "that's all."

Kate didn't look convinced. With her eyes she pressured him forward, and Jack knew he had no choice but to continue. Sighing, Jack went on with the confession.

"I've been having these dreams," Jack said, lowing his voice so that only Kate could hear him. He was used to their confessions being told in private, whether it was only along with the calming crashing of the waves, or the assuring privacy of the thick cave walls. Now people were walking around them as they spoke, and Jack suddenly felt uncomfortable sitting in the middle of the camp. "About Alex." Kate watched him, and the familiarness of feeling small in her presence during a confession returned.

"And in each to them," Jack continued with difficulty, swallowing hard in order to continue, "she wants me to help her. But I can't." He shook his head, furious and disgusted with himself. "I won't."

"Jack-" Kate began softly in the way she always did, reminding him of her support that was there.

As flattering as it was, Jack shook his head.

"She wants to know why I failed her," his eyes began to cloud with tears as Alex's had done many times and his dreams, and Jack felt more furious than ever. Compared to Alex, he knew he had nothing to cry over. He looked away, determined not to let Kate see his weakness.

Feeling sick, queasy, along with his overriding guilt, Jack wasn't sure how much longer he could last before he completely lost it.

"You didn't fail her," Kate began quietly, obvious sympathy radiating from her eyes and seeping through her voice, "you need to accept that."

Jack shook his head.

"No," he began shockingly, "no, I-"

"Jack-"

"I've accepted that I didn't save her," Jack said over her. He turned to Kate, studying her face for reaction before meeting her eyes. It was like he was playing a game with her, toying her for sympathy. And Jack hated that. "That's what I've accepted."

That wasn't the answer Kate wanted to hear, and Jack knew it. As guilty as he felt, Jack knew that that was the truth. It wasn't his fault that Kate couldn't see it.

"Someday you'll realize the truth," she said quietly, dismissing him of his thoughts.

Placing a hand on his knee she gave it a squeez and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked, a little too quickly as he watched her.

"You need to rest," Kate instructed, offering him a smile before leaving him to it.

But Jack knew he couldn't sleep. Though he accepted the truth, in all honesty he didn't like it, and he didn't like being reminded of it. He wouldn't sleep, not if he could help it, but he did need to clear his mind. Not to mention he still felt sick.

(space)

Once again Sayid was at the grave-sight when Jack arrived. He secretly felt angry with Sayid for always intruding on his opportunity to be alone there, but he didn't have the heart to come out and say it. After all, Sayid lost someone he loved as well.

"Guess I just have bad timing," Jack said as lightly as he could, preparing to leave again.

"Actually," Sayid said curtly, "you have perfect timing." His eyes twinkled with mischief as he stared at the grave in front of him. "Maybe you should sit down."

Jack took a seat, suddenly thankful he felt less sick than before.

"What's on your mind?" He asked Sayid casually.

Thoughtfully, Sayid paused before continuing.

"Do you ever think about the hatch?"

The unfamiliar word struck Jack like an old patience name from years before. He remembered it, remembered it was significant, but since then so much had happened that he left Locke to deal with it, completely ridding himself of the memory.

"Not really," Jack admitted.

"Maybe you should."

(space)

He was blindfolded. It didn't help the dizziness still settled in his brain, or the curiosity that arose since Sayid's approach to conversation. As Sayid led him into an indoor place- somewhere Jack assumed indoor because of the squeak of a door- he listened closely for other signs of human life. Boone's voice assured him of it.

"You sure Locke didn't see?" Boone sounded nervous.

"Boar have perfect timing as well," Sayid commented.

From nearby, Jack heard something that sounded mysteriously like the dripping of a pipe. The air felt damp and cold, chilling him to a shiver. Another door squeaked opened.

"Before we let you see," Sayid began, speaking into his ear in a serious voice Jack rarely, if ever, heard Sayid speak, "you have to swear you won't tell. Not a soul." A pit forming in Jack's stomach knew that specifically meant not even Kate. Boone was quiet during Sayid's speech in possible sympathy. "And you can't scream."

Without looking for agreement, the blindfold was pulled off Jack. Honestly, he was too surprised to scream. He was standing in some sort of old-timey bedroom, complete with a badge tented light from a rusty bulb in the ceiling. The room was small, more like a closet with a cot and night-stand than a homely living area. Jack noticed the sheets on the bed were old as well, but the person occupying them was not. He was also someone Jack had never seen before.

"We've got our doctor," Boone assured the man in the bed.

"Did he-" the man laying in the bed spoke desperately in his condition, speaking fluently with a familiar foreign accent that was more than likely British.

"No," Boone cut off quickly.

Jack was slightly surprised in how much control Boone seemed to have over the situation, but the condition of the man laying on the cot gained his attention instead. Leg propped up by pillows and rested in some kind of plastic cast, the man was in obvious critical pain. But his doctor mannerisms slowly shifted when the thought of being somewhere indoors, of having some kind of cooling air and light set in.

"Where are we?" Jack began. Sayid never said don't ask questions. "What is this place?"

"You can not know," Sayid replied, ignoring his bewilderment with ease, "but this man needs your help."

He looked down at the patient in bed, and Jack knew Sayid was right. Even though he didn't know who the man was, where they were, or what kind of secrets Sayid and Boone had been keeping, Jack knew he had to help this man.

"Will you do it?" Sayid asked, breaking into his thoughts.

Jack thought about what the commitment would mean. He'd be promising to save this man's life, when recently Jack didn't have a very good record. Exhausted as well, Jack knew he wasn't in the best state of mind, which would be hard to push aside. Not only that, but it'd mean lying to Kate as well. Nevertheless, were he to succeed it'd mean being given a second chance, reminding himself that he could still do some good. That thought, his need for redemption, was enough to make him nod his head in a yes.

(space)

Hours later Callum was in stable enough condition for Jack to leave the hatch, like before, blindfolded so he would see nothing. The diagnoses was not only a serious leg injury, but major blood loss and a high fever as well. They'd have to keep a close eye on the guy, but Boone was just relieved to have succeeded without Locke knowing. But as if on cue, footsteps dropped down into the hatch from the ladder in the next room.

"God, Cal," an unfamiliar voice that was clearly not Locke said into the open space, "if you were going to start using that entrance again, you could've at least made it a little more user friendly." The voice sounded American, possibly Canadian, unlike Callum. "What's with the broken-" the person stepped into the room, right off noticing Boone as the only person left in there, "hello."

The man had to be in his forties at least, and the way he talked reminded Boone of a slightly laid back version of Sawyer. Then again, how much more laid back could you get? Boone stared at the new visitor, startled by the presence that new of one of the other residence of the hatch. With grizzly wild hair laying on his head and a face etched in with wrinkles and mud, the man seemed like an island natural, one who knew his home well. He didn't seem at all intimidated by the person he didn't know, of anything he became any more confident.

"Are you one of them Other people he kept going on about?" The man asked, amused.

Unsure what to say, Boone played his options and replied:

"Yeah."

Smiling, clearly pleased, the man introduced himself.

"I'm Daniel, then," Daniel said, "an American..a shame. I never liked their music. Then again, I'm Canadian myself." He grinned proudly, not at all uneasy about revealing himself to this stranger. "Not much of an argument, huh?" He didn't give Boone a chance to reply. "So what's your name?"

Boone looked around for a quick lie, but something told him eventually his plan would backfire.

"Boone," he offered.

"Well, Boone," Daniel said cheerfully, "found ourselves another one. Not exactly sure who she is, but I figured we could solve at least one or two of these mysteries around here. They've all gotta come from somewhere, right?"

He talked like he and Boone had been friends for ages. Ignoring the truth in this, Daniel reached behind him, and Boone winced as a woman gasped as she was thrown into the room. Boone just stared. At first the woman looked unfamiliar, but then he realized he did know her, and her name.

There, bound with a gag around her mouth, was Rebecca, the woman who was always hanging around Sawyer.

**Author's Note: **Consider these next few chapters the true climax of the story. I'm thinking there'll only be two, maybe three chapters left(sniffle). More importantly..cookies to anyone who remembers just where we know our Canadian friend from. Thanks for reviewing!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

As the series begins to conclude(sniff), Rebecca goes missing just as the chaos of acception decides to settle in, and Callum's secrets trigger more potential danger for the castaways.

Thanks again!

Until next time..


	35. Story of A Hero

In the End

Chapter Thirty-Five

**Warning:** This chapter has a high PG-13 rating for scary/disturbing images.

**Chapter Thirty-Five: **Story of A Hero

Sighing, Jack poked the small stick he found into the wet sand beneath him. Every now and then the low mid-afternoon tide would splash his face, but the salty sensation felt relieving against his tired, burning eyes. He wanted to sleep, but everytime he closed his eyes he saw forshadowing of whatever his next dream would be- repetitive memories of Alex's death, the plane. It was like his mind was repeating the past weeks of memories, despite the fact that he seemed to be recovering slowly, but steadily. Now it was all happening again. And quite honestly, it scared him.

"Hey," said Kate's soft voice, sitting down beside him.

He didn't protest, partially because he half-expected her to come. Something told him Kate wouldn't just leave him be.

"Fire burn out?" Kate asked sympathetically.

"Damn wind," Jack let out a snort, "guess they thought it'd explode."

Kate smiled a little in pity. Jack didn't even have the energy to fend it off.

"It's funny," Kate said lightly, "hearing you cuss."

"I didn't cuss," Jack protested.

By the time he finished his statement, what he said before was already lost in his memory. Kate smiled even more.

"When you work in a ward with child patients with their parents around, you have to watch it," Jack said defensivly.

Instead of being defeated, Kate looked interested in what he was saying. Jack couldn't help but to be grafetul for the new subject. Though it was sometimes paintful to talk about the previous life, he knew deep down he shouldn't- and didn't want to- forget it.

"Did you work with kids a lot?" Kate asked curiously.

"Sometimes" Jack replied thoughtfully. "When they needed a miracle."

Kate eyed him inquisitvly.

"I had this patient once," Jack started. He couldn't think of anything else to do but tell his story. "Car wreck victim. Her back was broken. Everyone thought she'd never be able to walk again."

"Everyone," Kate said, "but not you?"

She eyed him with a hint of pride. The thought that she approved made Jack smile.

"Not me," he comfirmed. "And I saved her. She was walking again after a few months of phsyical therapy."

"That's great." Kate praised. "What happened next?"

"I married her."

"Oh."

Realizing she knew this story, Kate grew quiet. She had the excitement of get ready to watch a classic film, ready for a date, when she realized too late that she'd already seen the picture.

"You move fast," Kate complimented, attempting to smile at her failed comic relief.

She held her breath, as if coming to another sudden realization.

"I'm not like that now," Jack assured her in the most sincere tone he could muster. "I married her because I felt..commited..to her. Like I saved her, so I should be there for her."

The explination didn't seem to cheer Kate up at all. Of anything, she looked even more hurt. She drew in a quick breath, as if hesitant about asking what was on her mind.

"Did you-" Kate swallowed hard, resting her head in her hand for support, "did you stay with me because you thought you needed to save me?"

She glanced at him, daring him with her accusing, betrayed eyes. This was the moment, Jack knew, that all pregnant women must fear. He'd seen it with patients, but ironically, he'd experienced it first hand- as a father. It was the fear that their whole relationship had been a lie. The realization that things were wrong from the start. The fear of being alone, the hatred, betrayel. Tension loomed over them like death.

Why did he think of that comparison?

"I didn't save you," Jack defended quickly.

That, of course, didn't help. Emotions kicking in, Kate's eyes looked like they were watering behind her well-guarded wall. The wall only feelings could past through, never anything deeper. Kate was rarely the one to cry or break down, at least not in front of others.

"I mean," Jack took a deep breath. For the first time in a long time, his brain actually hurt. Only once or twice in his life had he been drunk, but even that head-pounding experience couldn't amount to the restless mind he was wrestling with now. "It was more like the other way around."

He had hoped the comment would lighten Kate up a bit. Desperate to help, he offered her a small smile.

"But still," Kate went on, "did you stay with me because I helped you? Is that why we're here today?"

Jack was growing frustrated with himself. He didn't seem to be able to think of one helpful thing to say, and he was ruining things by the minute. This conversation could very well end with Kate running off into the jungle, finally breaking down in tears.

In the jungle, where'd she'd be defensless.

In the jungle, where the monster was...

Jack shivered.

"No," Jack shook his head, "no, that's not why we're here today. Or at least I thought."

Kate didn't respond. That distant stare was back, telling Jack that he'd best not interere. For a few moments he respected that, but then he felt guilty. Like that stare was in the past, and this was now.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," Jack said at last.

The statement seemed to have no effect on Kate, which made Jack feel even worse. Instead of responding she stood up, placing a hand on his knee before getting to her feet.

"Just get some rest," she pleaded, before once again leaving him alone.

Defeated and alone, Jack stared at the ground. Sometimes he just didn't understand. She cared, he knew, but why did she always walk away? Leave him to it, like that was actually helpful to him? There was nothing worse than being alone, especially when it's forced upon you. Yet Jack was a verteran at this, living all his life with a father who could've cared less what he wanted or what he felt. Living that kind of childhood gradually caused him to distance himself from everyone, becoming a social disaster. When they crashed on the island five months ago, it was always a wonder to Jack that people looked up to and respected him so much. Sure, at work people loved him and praised him for his miracles, but in the end it would be he sitting alone at home while everyone else was at staff parties. Part of him would actually hope someone would call him up and ask where he was, but when no one did, he knew he was right. Staying at home was just the thing for him. He didn't necessarily like it, but aside from being forced into solitude, there was also nothing worse than being alone when no one else was. These thoughts made him feel drousy, and his eyelids suddenly came to a heavy droop. Before he knew it he was asleep, getting the rest Kate begged him to take. But from what it looked like, it would be a long time before he rest in peace.

(space)

"No honey, you can't have the rock," Claire said in a near whine, trying not to sound too frustrated. Beside her Charlie strummed his guitar, a pad of paper by his side for when he came up with the brilliant new lyrics that hadn't come to mind in weeks. Picking Aaron up off the ground, Claire wrestled the rock from his tiny fist. "Rocks are bad for you."

"I used to eat rocks when I was a kid," Charlie mused, fingering triple minor sounding chords.

_You also used to do drugs._

But Claire figured that wasn't the best argument to make.

"Yes," Claire said seriously before talking in her usual baby tone she used with Aaron, "but some of us want to grow up to be healthy boys."

"So that's the big secret then," Charlie teased with a grin.

Rolling her eyes, Claire set Aaron back down. The chid, now four months old, fell on his bottom as soon as she let go, landing on the cloth she had to use for a diaper. Immediatly he burst out crying, receiving glares from near by pedestrians. Sighing, Claire picked Aaron back up to try and calm him down.

"There, there," she told him soothingly, "you'll walk someday." To herself, she added: "You better."

Charlie snorted.

"You know," he began, "you keep taking that tone with him and he might just learn how to walk on water."

Claire glared at him over Aaron's round head.

"I mean, if my dad told me I had to learn to play Mozart by the time I was five, I would've, the way he spoke sometimes," Charlie reminiced. Suddenly his tone grew slightly darker. "Not that he would've cared."

"I didn't know you played piano," Claire said, sitting Aaron back down carefully, thankful for a light subject opportunity that didn't have to do with the way she mothered her child.

She hadn't done this before. Claire didn't even know when babies were supposed to begin walking. In the cartoons she'd watch as a child they'd sometimes began at one, but then again they talked and went on adventurous journies as well. So how was she supposed to know if she was doing something right? Honestly, Claire found it hard to believe that no one on the island had kids or took care of some, and was beginning to believe they just didn't want to help. The suggestion made her furious. At first it seemed great being on the island with a baby, because people seemed so awed to have a new life on board. But that was when she was pregnant. Now she was alone, possibly more alone that she would've been back home. At least here, she knew, she had Charlie. He was a lucky catch. Not that she just concidered him a help figure, she really liked him. Charlie was sweet, despite his old habbits, and deep down, he was religious.

"Hey, what's Aaron got?" Charlie said suddenly, interrupting her thoughs.

Looking over, Claire saw that Aaron had grabbed ahold of a silver chain. Half of it was now in his mouth, and Charlie was just watching in wonder as he chewed on the chain links.

"Charlie!" Claire cried, yanking the chain from Aaron. He began crying, and Charlie was the first to get to him this time. Bouncing Aaron in his arms, he watched as Claire unfolded the necklace. "It's a cross."

At the very end of the strand was a simple silver cross, like the ones churches may offer for free. The chain itself looked pretty cheap, some of the material rusted off by sand.

"Is it yours?" She asked, showing Charlie the necklace.

As soon as he took it in his hands Aaron made a grab for it, and Charlie had to pull him away, examing the chain from afar.

"No," Charlie replied, "sorry. Looks like Christmas came early." He paused thoughtfully. "Or late."

Handing the necklace back to Claire, she studied it, looking for any kind of engraving. The object felt so foreign in her hands, as she had never really been religious. The only religion she had faith in was astrology which, at times, she did believe and preach like a religion. Then again, look where it landed her.

"Maybe it belongs to someone around here," she theorized.

"Maybe," Charlie agreed half-heartly, already returning to strumming his guitar, having set Aaron, who was now having a blast making teeny tiny sandpiles, on the sand beside him.

Though Charlie was already drifting back into his own world, Claire's mind was still on the necklace. For some reason she didn't feel comfortable even holding it, almost like it was cursed.

"Here," she said suddenly, thrusting the chain towards Charlie, "you have it."

He eyed her.

"Since you insist," Charlie said, a little perplexed at her behavior.

He took the cross necklace from Claire, clasping it around his neck. She stared at it for a moment, wondering why it would entrance her like it did.

"What?" Charlie said, looking behind him. "Does it make my butt look big?"

(space)

Jack was staring out to the ocean, dark storm clouds overhead, rushing around him in clouds of distant lightening. But even the dangers didn't keep him from wanting nothing more than to dive into that ocean water, no matter how warm or cool it was. It'd been awhile since he'd taken a swim. Not to mention there was the round, black spot that suddenly merged from the sea awhile ago, staring him down as it swirled around, inviting him to investigate. He stared at it for a good while, wondering and dreaming of what the spot could be. Maybe it was coffee. Or oil. How that would get this far out and only be in that one small spot, Jack didn't know, but it sounded interesting. Pulling off his shoes, Jack decided maybe it would be a good time for a swim. Never mind the approaching storm.

Near the ocean-floor Jack saw that the black spot was no longer black, but a gleaming white light had taken its place, entrancing him. He swam for the light, kicking his feet as hard as he could. Instead of feeling sore from the foreign excersise, he felt excited. Anxious. When he finally reached the bottom he felt around, banging his fist against the ground until they hit against something hard. A hatch. It was small, with a teeny shrand of glass to look throw, though all it offered was darkness. But with a single strand of white light floating through it. Feeling almost mechanical Jack pounded on the door, wishing he had something to pry it open with. At the very thought, the hatch door flew open, missing hitting him by inches. Momentarily he looked from the hatch to the tunnel inside, and without further hestiance swam through. He had to know what was in there. Hatches weren't built for no reason.

For a few feeet there was nothing but tunnels, but Jack didn't doubt himself. Kicking on, cold water passed him from the nearby storm. At last the tunnel turned, though only growing darker. The white light had disapeared, disapointing him.

As he swam on, Jack realized this tunnel was different. Blue emergancy lights clicked on at what was no longer the ocean floor, but solid ground. Around him, manmade walls soon turned into glass. The ocean floated by behind him. The room opened up ahead, and just to double check, Jack looked back to make sure nothing was behind him. He couldn't even see the hatch door. Jack pushed himself into the room like he was diving for gold. And he seemed to hit the jackpot.

Red control pannels lined the ground, taking the shape of large buttons. No screen was in front of him, unless it was hidden. But the button was glowing, almost as though it was mocking his doubt. Jack hesitated, hand now over the red controls. What would happen if he pushed it?

Suddenly Jack blinked and looked around. Immediatly he was in a panic. Underwater..he was underwater. Why the hell would be in the ocean, let alone this far down? Especially with the storm coming. Panicing, Jack swam in frantic circles. Surely he wasn't alone..surely. But after a few complete turns, Jack knew he was. Air was become a struggle to get, as he wasn't used to having to breathe through his nose. He was drowning...he was certain of it. Closing his eyes, the stinging sensation of the saltwater hit him in a late reaction, and Jack clamped his eyes shut tightly. Shortly after he was forced to open them again.

Maybe he was dreaming, Jack thought. That had to be it. The last thing he remembered was Kate leaving him again and drifting to sleep. So this had to be a dream, right? And in a dream, nothing could hurt him. The theory eased Jack a little, but he still felt paniced, rushed even. That was when he noticed the buttons. Confussed, Jack stared down at them, trying to make out the foreign looking writing on the red control pad. What was it for? Where the hell was he?

At least, he thought, the worst had to be over.

As if answering him, determining to make the situation worse than it already was, a gush of rushing water suddenly flooded the room, sending Jack crashing into the glass walls. He expected them to break, sending him plummeting into the deep sea, but sterdy, they kept him in the room. He choked on the saltwater, mouth opening in a gasp of pain as he hit the glass. Pain shot up his shoulder as well, reminding him momentarily of his old injury from the cave-in. There'd definetly be a bruise after that. Desperatly he tried to fight against the rush, but it kept pulling him back down. Jack struggled to regain control, but his hands and feet waved everywhich way, until one of them accidently banged against one of the red buttons on the ground. A soft beeping feeled the air, and through his burning eyes Jack saw that one of the walls was indeed opening.

Briefly Jack concidered letting himself be tossed into the room, just to be free of the foamy water that was quickly engulfing him. He wapped his fingers around the edges of the glass walls, palms immediatly slit in attempts to hold on. Biting down to keep from opening his mouth again, Jack tried to wait out the rush. As he struggled he hated himself, hated himself for being so vulnerable to something so dangerous and risky. God knew what would happen now, and all Jack could do was hope it'd all be over soon. Not literally. He'd never felt so alone or terrified in his life. Even at the second plane crashing he'd been in too much immediate shock to experience such fear.

_"You'll be okay."_

At the voice, Jack jerked his head around, looking for a source. His hands screamed in pain, and he knew he had to let go soon if he wanted to be able to use them any time soon.

_"Trust me."_

Trust who? Maybe the voice was inside the room, he thought. The one he, for some reason, hadn't been pushed into yet. But when he looked over, what he saw couldn't be a source of speaking. It wasn't even human. In the room, gaining speed, was a wild cyclone. Or at least that's what it looked like. The tornado-like thing looked so transparent it could've been as simple as swirling air. But it was swirling so fast it made Jack dizzy, lightheaded, and just as true darkness came over him, the last thing he saw was the funnel taking force, rushing itself forward into an unknown place.

(space)

Two strong arms grabbed Jack from underneath his elbows, both men's strength fighting to get back to shore safely. Wind blew in fury around them, but somehow they were able to make it back onto shore, collasping in the sand, gasping for breath. Gently someone else lay Jack down and, shaking, Kate leaned over him.

"Does anyone know CPR?" Sawyer shouting to the crowd gathering around them.

Murmers replied instead of anwers, and just as Sawyer was cursing at the response, Kate spoke up.

"That doesn't matter," she replied. "He doesn't need it."

At her smile, Sayid and Sawyer looked down to Jack, who was slowly awakening. Drenched head to foot, Jack looked okay except for his hands, both laying limp to his sides in a puddle of blood. Over the reunion moment, Sayid called for someone to find some cloth to stop the bleeding. His demands were the first thing Jack heard as he came to, eyes blinking in protest at the stinging salt lingering at his eyelids. Kate's face came into a wavy view, smiling in relief. Sighing, she sat back on her heals. Breathing felt impossible, but yet Jack kept going, looking around in frantic confussion. A hard slap to his shoulder brought him fully into reality.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Kate demanded, firm but too relieved to truly get onto him. "Jack-"

"I have to go back," Jack said suddenly, struggling to sit up.

"What?" Kate inquired, pushing him back down to the sand. "No, Jack, you could've been killed!"

"There's someone down there!" Jack exclaimed. Suddenly he squeezed his eyes shut. They burnt so badly... "There was a voice, and this tornado.."

"Tornado?" Kate repeated in disbelief. She studied him, contemplating his reason. "You hit your head."

"No," as he sat it, Jack subconsiously felt behind his head, feeling for a lump of any kind. There was a small one, but only from hitting the glass. Nothing like that would make him delarious. And he wasn't.

Kate's hand was on his shoulder the second he tried to sit up. The touch reminded him of the pain he felt when he hit the glass, and Jack hissed as the burning sensation came back to him.

"Here," Sayid said, falling down beside him.

Against his will his hands were being wrapped with cloth, pressure being put on him to stop the bleeding. His wrist were covered with blood, but surely it wasn't his..even at the thought of the loss his head felt suddenly lighter, and Jack felt like blacking out again.

"Don't let him fall asleep," Sayid instructed, "he may have a concussion."

He grimaced in pain as hard pressure was suddenly put on one of his palms. His insistance was ignored, while above him Kate and Sayid faught to stop the bleeding. Sawyer was gone, and only a couple of onlookers remained, clearly interested in what was being said above him. A look of confusion came over Sayid just then, and Kate looked at him.

"What?" She inquired, sounding slightly nervous.

"There's glass," Sayid explained, puzzled as he showed Kate the bits of glass wedged in the blood on his hands.

Above Jack they exchanged looks, and then diverted their eyes back down to Jack, who was already fast asleep.

(space)

Jack woke up again to pounding raindrops. They sounded distant, but when he looked around, Jack saw that they were just outside. He was back in Kate's tent, which seemed darker than usual. With sore bones and aching hands, Jack found it hard to move, and had to result to looking around for Kate. She wasn't hard to find, as she was sitting next to him, hands dropped to the ground as she stared at them distantly.

"You didn't have a concussion," Kate informed him quietly.

"Good thing," Jack said, shifting weight in the sand so that his bad shoulder wasn't supporting him, "you let me sleep?"

He meant it partially as a joke, but Kate didn't take it lightly at all. Her glare silenced him, reminding him of his earlier guilt and regret.

"What the hell were you thinking, Jack?" Kate demanded for the second time that afternoon, sounding helpless. Jack opened his mouth to protest, but Kate cut him off quickly. "After all we've been through-" too shook up to continue steadily, Kate stood up and began pacing. A strong wind blew against the tent's walls, and Jack shivered, remembering the cyclone. He was so sure it had been a dream...

"What the hell were you thinking?" Kate demanded again, now too helpless to be infuriated. Before Jack could try and argue, she stood up and began pacing the cramped space. "It was about to _storm_ Jack! And where the hell did you go?"

"There was.." Jack blinked, the memory already feeling far away, "a black spot!"

"I don't care if there was a _pony_ in the water, Jack!" Kate cried out. "You can't keep doing this!"

"Doing what?" Jack inquired, confussed.

He tried to lift his head but immediatly fell back down. Jack's throat was dry and itchy and he wished he had some water. Freshwter.

"You need to sleep," Kate begged desperatly, meeting Jack's stinging eyes with her pleading ones, "it's effecting your mind!"

"I-" Jack fought to think of an excuse for himself, a reason. Even he didn't know why he'd be down there, especially during a storm, but Jack knew he wouldn't willingly go. Maybe it was sleep. No. Jack shook his head. He was fine, no matter what Kate said. "I'm fine."

Kate's pleading gazed turned incredulous.

"No you're not!" Kate exclaimed. Letting out a frustrating cry, Kate slapped her knees and stood up. "I don't know what I'm going to do. I- Jack, we have a baby on the way! I'm sorry, but you can't jump at every mission like you used to." Pausing to catch her breath, Kate looked at him and somehow he knew she'd use an empathetic touch to get through to him. "And we both know what it's like to grow up without a father."

It went unspoken that she meant a real father- a dad. Someone who would be there all the time, at all cost. And even Jack knew that meant he needed to take care of himself now to make sure he reached that point. Then they'd go from there.

"Okay," Jack sighed, knowing she was right, "I'll stop."

He struggled but Jack was determined to stand, back hurting from laying down on the ground after his fight in the sea. Grimmacing in pain, Jack held his back for support, wanting to stand long enough to make himself clear to Kate.

"I promise," he added, meeting Kate's hopeful, yet still doubting, eyes, "I'll do everything I can to protect us...and the baby."

Subconsiouly he glanced down at Kate's stomach, though he knew she wouldn't be showing for awhile. They were still safe, as far as telling the others was concerned. Apparently satisfied with his promised, Kate wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. Returning the embrace, for the first time since his rescue he realized he felt no psyical pain, but before he could feel too relived, Kate released herself from him. Her hand lingered in one of his, fingering the bandage carefully wrapped around his palm.

"Where the hell did you go?" She asked, this time sounding more worried rather than demanding.

"I don't know," Jack admited, sounding as though it were a personal failure.

And in a way, it was. If he was going to risk his life like that doing what, sleepwalking? At least he could know where he went. This was just insane...who swam while they were sleeping? He couldn't even swim that well awake. Suddenly he was very grateful someone must've noticed from offshore, because truthfully he didn't know how well he could've made it back, especially with his injuries.

"Hey, doc?" A voice asked from outside.

The rain was quietening down, and Kate pushed opened the tent flap.

"Hey Richard," Kate greeted.

The most they knew about Richard was that at one time he worked as a circus clown, but he seemed pretty nice. He didn't talk much to Jack and Kate, but apparently he was good friends from Hurley, recognizing him from LA. One thing they did know, however, was that Richard wasn't the one to make enemies, yet here he was standing with a cut over his brow.

"What happened?" Kate inquired, tilting his head over slightly.

"I'm fine," Richard insisted, blushing a little as he forced Kate's hand down, "but you might want to check on the southerner."

Looking over, Jack and Kate saw that, despite the rain, Sawyer had managed to still get into an argument with someone. But this wasn't the normal arugment of fairness, this looked heated. People tried to calm him down, only resulting in being thrown back by Sawyer himself. Had he touched the right nerve, it would've seemed very plausible for Richard to receive such a cut.

"I'll see what's wrong," Jack announced, though Kate followed him anyway.

(space)

He was so tired. Sawyer was saying something to him, shouting something to him, but Jack couldn't even muster the energy to understand. He tried to get some rest, like Kate instructed, but the fear of another dream kept him out of the realm of peaceful rest. All that afternoon he'd done nothing but sit there like a useless lump on a log, regretting the decision to move to the beach. At least at the caves they had some privacy. Jack supposed if he had given some more thought to it he would've gone to a more secluded part of the beach, but his restless mind mechanically built his fire(though it grew increasingly warm throughout the day), and just sat there, trying to ignore the looks and glares he receieved. _You should be doing something,_ they told him, _sitting around is for someone else to do. _

_They don't understand, _Jack thought desperatly in response to the glares, giving the owners no verbal explanation of his sudden solitary behavior. Turning their noises up, the people simply walked away. They didn't really care, he knew. Had they cared they would've stopped and asked, like Kate.

Yet there was a new voice inside his head aside from everyone elses inner thoughts. A voice that told him he needed to get used to moving around and working again. There was a lot to do. In his head he made a list of everything they'd need over the next nine months and the eighteen years following. Everything from a crib to a car for college entered his mind. It was a fun game to play, but he knew it was useless as his sitting at that fire. Where was he going to find a crib on the island? And he already knew the answer to the car question. Even if they found a road on the island, it would only stir up suspicion. _Especially towards me._ Because lately, everytime he was the one to discover something, it seemed as though people were less enthused as they used to be. Almost down right accusing. _Like this is all my fault._

_And maybe it is._

But once he had managed to get some rest, Jack had the wonderful experience of sleepwalking, or whether, sleepswimming- right into the ocean. The last thing he wanted to deal with was Sawyer, but apparently Rebecca was missing, and there was no calming him down. While Kate took it into her hands to fix the cut over Richard's eye, Jack went over to try and get through to Sawyer, who was in the middle of accusing two or three people of having some riddulous part in this when Jack interrupted:

"How long has she been missing?" He called out.

Heads turned towards him immediatly. Trying not to feel intemidated by the wondering eyes who clearly knew about Jack's underwater adventure, he waited for Sawyer's answer. But even Sawyer looked a little stumped by his sudden appearance.

"She ran off a few hours ago," he finally replied, in a much calmer tone than he'd been using with everyone else.

"Ran off," Jack repeated, hardly giving any concideration to the answer from the way it sounded. "Then she'll come back."

Sawyer let out a low, hoarse cough, as if all his yelling was taking a short toll on him.

"Yeah," he said sarcastically, "when you find her chewed up and spit out like a sunflower seed. Blood, guts, and all."

To be using such a grusome comparison, Sawyer didn't seem too choked up about it, but then again he'd never been the one to sit around and share emotions. But Jack knew he was right, especially if Rebecca went out into the jungle, and haunting visions of finding Alex assured him he didn't want to go through that again. As much as he hated to say it, Sawyer and Rebecca were probably closer than Alex and Danielle were, but only because time was definetly not on their side. The one thing Jack knew was that he didn't want to be around if history repeated himself, but the horrific part was, he knew he had to.

"We didn't hear it," Jack said assuringly, "I'm sure she's just-"

"Don't give me that," Sawyer said incredulously. Now Jack felt like he was talking to a kid whose puppy just ran away. "Are you going to help me? Or are you going to be like the rest of these people who cry everytime they step foot in the jungle, when four months ago they were picking berries and swimming in waterfalls!" No one bothered to mentioned that none of them, save Kate and Sawyer, had ever swam in a waterfall on the island. But besides that, Sawyer turned specifically to Jack. "So tell me, why the hell is it so different now?"

"Because now people have died," Kate said, stepping up supportivly by Jack. She offered him a smile, but the gratefulness went unspoken.

"How sweet," Sawyer snapped bitterly. He through his hands up in an exaggerating way, his tone mimicking the effort. "Guess I'll just have to go out by myself then."

In his mind, Jack could just hear Sawyer silently adding: _Out there with that big 'ole monster. Just me and him. 'Course, it could be female._

Sighing, Jack tried to ignore Kate beside him, who was warning him with her eyes not to speak up. It wasn't that she didn't want either of them to help out, but just an hour ago Jack sleptwalked into the ocean. Not to mention his promise and her own worries of the baby's future.

"Sawyer, wait," Jack called out.

Sawyer stopped, a sly grin on his face. He clearly had this planned.

"You coming?" Sawyer asked him. Despite his near begging, their was no trace of helplessness in his voice.

And despite Jack's speaking up, he hesitated. Part of him, he guessed, expected Sawyer to just walk off or turn him down. Relucant to answer, Jack remained silent. Sending Sawyer off alone searching for someone with a monster loose was murder, suicide, but the same if he went along. Maybe one life-threatening adventure was enough for the day. But if Rebecca was out there alone...

"You're afraid just like everyone else," Sawyer spat accusingly. He took a step closer, minimizing the space between them. "I don't give a damn what plane you saw out there-" he jabbed a finger at Jack, "but if she dies- or worse- I'll make sure you never forget about it."

Jack could feel dozens of pairs of eyes fall on him. Even the trees seemed to look and whisper along with everyone else, the crowd growing silent aside from the sparking rumors arousing from curiosity and confussion. When he was younger he was always victim of pranks and teasing at school, but he couldn't remember ever feeling this humiliated. It'd stunned him into silence, and Kate didn't say a word either. Though he didn't fight back, Sawyer stared him down, almost as if he dared to turn away, Jack would jump on him.

"Thought so," Sawyer said quietly, turning to leave.

He let Sawyer get all the way to the jungleline before calling after him. Closing his eyes, he could just picture finding Sawyer's body out there somewhere, or worse, Rebecca finding him.

"Sawyer!"

Kate immediatly grabbed his hand.

"Jack.." she tried desperatly.

It seemed like he was just wanting to prove himself to Sawyer, and though he hated that, he knew that wasn't the truth. Staring after him for a moment, Jack spoke up.

"I'll go."

There was a tug on his arm, and he realized Kate's hand never left his. He looked at her, meeting her eyes, feeling what she was thinking.

"Can I talk to you?" It wasn't a question. Pulling Jack to the side, Kate did her best to hide them from the other's view without disapearing completly.

"What's up?" Jack asked casually.

Hands on her hips, Kate stared at him, mouth agape.

"What about what you just said?" Kate said, immediatly lashing out at him. "About protecting me and keeping safe?"

Jack looked at her like he didn't know what she was talking about, stealing a glance towards the audience watching them carefully.

"Unless we want to tell them," Jack said, lowering his voice significantly, "things need to stay the same." Right away Kate began to protest, but Jack quickly cut her off. "I'll be okay," he promised her, "I'll come back."

He contemplating kissing her then. Jack didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable in front of everyone else, but he thought it might reassure her. As time drew on, he gave her hand a squeze and walked over to Sawyer, who already had a gun waiting for him. Sawyer made some comment about Jack's change of mind, but he didn't hear him, the gun feeling so heavy in his sore hands that it seemed to draw him out of the world for a moment. Just knowing Sawyer had a spare gun waiting made him feel slightly more nervous than usual about the mission. Sawyer usually wasn't so serious, and Jack decided that now, more than ever, they couldn't fail, and more importantly, they had to come back.

(space)

"Let me have some of that."

Daniel pointed at Boone's waterbottle, propped up against his bag on the computer table. He raised an eyebrow, but threw the bottle at him anyway. The man intemidated him so much that he was afraid to turn his back on him. As Daniel downed nearly half his water, Rebecca squirmed in the chair she was tied to, desperatly trying to talk...and escape. Someone would discover she was missing soon, Boone knew, and he didn't want to face Sawyer after that. Boone glanced towards Rebecca sympathetically, and wanted badly to somehow be able to assure her that nothing was going to happen. The hunting knife he'd pinned Locke down with was still attached to his belt loop, and at any safe moment, Boone felt confident in using it. But what he needed was a gun, it'd be faster. Shuddering, Boone wondered how he'd learn to think like that.

"Look, let's just let her go," Boone tempted. At least maybe this way he could get some information. For example, how Callum's supposingly dead friend managed to come back and kidnap a girl. "What use is she to us?"

He was almost afraid of the answer, and regretted asking. Whatever the reason was, he didn't want Rebecca to hear. It'd worry her, scare her, and somehow, Boone was still able to convince himself that this would turn around soon. Locke and Sayid were out there somewhere, they wouldn't just disapear for the afternoon.

"Found her in the jungle, sneaking around," Daniel said, disgusted, "thought she might be one of them...Others. Then again, you'd know that, wouldn't you?"

Boone swallowed. Suddenly he hated his lie. Thinking quickly, Boone wondered if Daniel would buy another one. Just before he opened his mouth, Boone realized that if he was an Other, and she was an Other, he would've mentioned it by now.

"I haven't seen her," Boone said, shooting an apologetic glance towards Rebecca, "but she looks harmless."

"Put up a good fight."

It was a half-hearted argument; Daniel clearly wasn't going to be quick to let his hostage go.

"Who can blame her?" Boone said defensivly.

Daniel raised an eyebrow.

"Well if you're that worried about her," he said, "or that confident, whichever. Untie her. See what happens."

Rebecca's eyes filled immediatly with hope, and Boone had to stop himself from acting too relieved.

"Okay then," he replied, afraid to let a moment go to waste.

Quickly as he could without appearing to rush himself, Boone walked over to Rebecca, and held his breath as he first took off her gag. She gasped for breath as soon as she was able to, panting desperatly for freedom and air. Watching them, Daniel snorted.

"Yeah," he said sarcastically, "definetly Other material."

Boone glared at him, making sure he was already in the process of untying her before Daniel could change his mind. At last the binds were off, and Rebecca's arms dropped limply to her sides. She looked up at him, maybe in reassurance, he didn't know, but at her desperate look, Boone felt more in over his head than ever. Where the hell was Locke and Sayid? Even worse, though this guy claimed to be Callum's friend, he was defiently noticing their differences. Callum could be sarcastic when he needed to be, but he was definetly more cautious. This guy was more like Sawyer, never thinking before speaking. Daniel definetly had an ego, and Boone couldn't see how he and Callum could've ever been friends.

Ignoring Daniel's comment, he folded the rope in his hands, not willing to give it back just yet. Daniel's eyes were still on them, watching Rebecca carefully.

"So how'd you get here?" Daniel asked Rebecca, stepping towards her. Knealing down before her, Boone could see Rebecca growing tense.

For the first time, Boone heard Rebecca talk.

"I was in a plane crash," Rebecca whispered in the most quiet, shy voice Boone ever heard. He'd never though any girlfriend of Sawyer's could've been that calm.

Quickly she glanced up at Boone, and for a fearful moment, he thought his plan would be lost. She seemed to get his message and quickly looked away.

"From where?"

Rebecca cleary didn't understand his question, and she looked afraid when Daniel groaned in frustration.

"Where were you flying from?" He asked, fighting to keep his patience.

Maybe he really doesn't want to hurt her, Boone thought hopefully, after all, he thought she may be an Other. Maybe he was just being precautious.

"Australia," Rebecca said softly.

Her voice sounded so small and inocent against the walls and content of the hatch, and in a sick thought Boone realized this place was where innocence came to die.

"What the hell was a girl like you doing in Australia?" The question was more forced than the othe two, scaring Rebecca into replying without the thought her answer deserved.

"My sister died."

The personal response didn't effect Daniel's authoritative demaenor at all. He did watch her closely for a moment, and the thought that Daniel was looking for some kind of reaction from Rebecca herself made Boone's fist clench in fury.

"What the hell does this have to do with anything?" Boone demanded.

Daniel looked up at him, as if deeply interested in the question.

"Because if she was in a plane crash," Daniel began, "then there are more of her."

He gave the suggestion a moment to sink in, but Rebecca didn't need it.

"I'm alone," she cut in quickly. They both turned to her, Boone slightly more surprised. Rebecca tilt her head down, putting on a fairly convincing act. "I was the only one who survived. I was just out looking for food. Please..." when she looked up again, her cheeks were melted with tears. Real or fake, she was certainly a good actress. "I don't know anything about where I am. Let me go...please."

With pleading eyes she met Daniel's, and suddenly even he seemed to grow softer. A long moment passed, full of hope, as both Boone and Rebecca held their breath for a reply.

"Sorry hon," surpisingly, Daniel actually made an atempt to sound apologetic, though it came off with sarcasm, "this island's too dangerous for you to walk around on alone-" he got to his feet, "why don't you join us?"

Automatically Rebecca looked to Boone, who answered for her.

"Let's let her go," Boone said, swallowing his wavering tone.

Daniel looked at him, and at that moment Boone was sure he knew everything- maybe he even knew all along.

And where the hell was Sayid and Locke?

"No," Daniel said firmly, sounding annoyed at the comment, "it wasn't a suggestion. She's staying with us."

By now Boone knew when Rebecca was panicing: her breathing grew more frequent, frightened, and her eyes would dart around the room, desperate for hope. Which was exactly what was happening now. The last thing Boone wanted her to do was panic, because when people paniced, they tended to act without thinking. Desperate himself, Boone scanned the room for an escape. That's when he noticed the gun sticking out of Daniel's back pocket. There was no guarantee it was loaded, but if Boone could somehow get an advantage, he could at least knock the man unconscious with it. Now all he needed was an opportunity.

As if answering his thoughts, the computer suddenly beeped.

"What the hell was that?" Daniel inquired, turning towards the screen, which was still lit up with the map of the island.

Rebecca watched, eyes wide with fear, as if just realizing it was there for the first time. Personally Boone didn't know why the system was suddenly beeping either, but he found himself not worried as he noticed the gun sticking out, as if just waiting for him. So, taking the chance, Boone dove, knocking Daniel over as he caught him off-guard. Boone immediatly scurried to get the gun, which was now pinned to the floor. What he was now worried about was it suddenly going off at the impact. But it didn't, and Boone easily grabbed a hold of it.

He could never remember feeling so alert during a fight; he was even able to block the punches Daniel threw at him. Now didn't even know why he was so worried before, Daniel wasn't even that strong. But as if he needed to contradict his thoughts, Boone found himself suddenly flying back, sailing until he skidded across the floor to a stop. The gun fumbled in his hands, and spare shots bounced off the walls. Rebecca screamed. Boone flinched as a fist came down at him, but somehow his legs began working again, and he kicked up. All he knew was that Daniel was off him now, and this was his opportunity. Struggling for breath Boone fumbled again with the gun, attempting to point it in the direction of Daniel, who was moaning in pain as he lay sprawled about on the hatch floor. The computer beeped again, as if reminding them of where they were, but Boone ignored it. The gun was now pointed at Daniel, and this was his chance. Heart pounding, Boone let his finger clasp around the trigger and began to pull it towards him.

But nothing happened. Rebecca, now standing, watched him desperatly. He knew he was her only hope, and she could've even ran away by now, but she'd stayed there with him. Then again, she didn't know why he was down there. Maybe she thought he was being held captive too. That made him feel selfish...in all the time he spent down here, Boone tended to forget how cut off they were from everyone, how much easier they appeared to have it down here. Hell, not only did this place have food, but it was cool, unlike the beach, where the survivors now reasigned. Boone couldn't even consider himself a castaway anymore. He had survived. Now he was just another worker, a slave, to the island's horrifc union.

But even that couldn't explain why he stood there now, gun raised but frozen, shaking slightly in his shoes. One bullet, and this could be over. One bullet, and another life would die in his hands.

Suddenly a whoosh flew past him. Rebecca screamed again, looking away, unlike Boone, who stood there, watching as Daniel helplessly cried out in pain. His chest became spots of red liquid before his eyes, and Boone didn't move as he watched, transfixed, as another bullet whized by, finishing the job.

"I never really liked him," a voice behind him confessed.

It took a full moment before Boone could turn to discover Callum behind him, holding a gun as he clutched painfully at his leg, which was still in its makeshift cast. Sweat sprinkled down his forehead in beads, as Callum was unused to the labor of moving, having been confined to bedrest by Jack, who would've had no idea what was going on.

"Too daring for me," Callum went on, "would've jumped off a cliff if we paid him for it."

The comment was for comic relief, but no one laughed. The gun was still heavy in Boone's hands, and he only now remembered it being there. Across the room, Rebecca didn't know what to think.

"Sorry," Callum said to her. He received her attention, but she wasn't as relieved as she would've liked to have been. "I'm Callum. Don't call me Cal. I'd shake your hand but-" he motioned to his leg.

Rebecca nodded understandably, but didn't say anything.

"He's all right," Boone said at last. He could worry about himself later. Wearily, he nodded to Callum. "Locke should be down here soon. And for the record, we aren't Others."

Silence was his reply, which was fine with Boone. He didn't want to think about another survivor finding out what was going on, the possibility of publicity, people finding out where he'd been all this time. Especially on Sayid's part, they'd lose a lot of trust. And trust was all they had.

"What the hell is this place?" Rebecca whispered, as if determined to overcome her shock. She even looked a little embarrased, now that everything was somewhat calm.

"Wish we knew," Boone replied, only half lying. He turned to Callum, who shrugged.

A loud banging filled the room in booming echoes, bouncing off the walls like someone trying to break in. Callum looked into the hallway, and Boone thought about the one way emergancy exit. But surely someone wouldn't be wanting to use that. Locke always insisted on using the ladder, and though it wasn't safe, Sayid agreed to it.

"You want to get that, mate?" Callum finally asked Boone, nodding towards the door.

After a moment, Boone realized he wasn't joking. Glancing towards Rebecca, he waited for her to protest. He felt slightly betrayed when she never did, but he went anyway. The banging grew louder as Boone crept closer to the door. When he reached it he stood there, staring at it for a good, long time. Who knew who was behind that door. As he sighed and reached over to pull it open, Boone realized he could've just checked the computer map. But luckily it was only Locke, short of breath and nursing a reddening fist.

(space)

"Would you stop doing that?" Sawyer hissed at Jack in frustration.

Jack jumped back in surprise, from where he'd nearly been walking on Sawyer's heals.

"Doing what?" Jack inquired innocently.

In front of them, Sayid rolled his eyes irritably as they continued to creep further into the jungle.

"Breathing down my neck," Sawyer snapped, "like a damn kid."

Jack's cheeks reddened conciterably, and he put a full foot's distance between himself and Sawyer.

"But don't worry," Sawyer said mockingly, "when the big, bad, monster comes for you, I'll protect you."

"Thanks for the reassurance," Jack remarked bitterly.

He figured Sawyer would be at least a little understanding of his parinoia, concidering what Jack'd been through in the jungle, but he should've known better. Rebecca had only been gone for a few hours, but Sawyer was already back to his old self. If it were Kate missing in this situation, Jack knew he'd probably be the same, if not worse. He did feel bad for Sawyer, but at the same time, Jack couldn't help but to feel furious about the way he was lured into the jungle.

"So what was that about back there?" Jack inquired.

Up ahead, Sayid looked interested in their conversation again. The sarcasm suddenly dropped in Sawyer, and a long silence fell in between them.

"You know what that thing does," Sawyer finally answered, speaking so quietly Jack couldn't even be sure he heard him right.

If he was Sawyer, he would've replied with some smart remark about the fear of being alone, but luckily for Sawyer, Jack wasn't him. Instead he kept quiet, relieved that he wasn't the only one with mixed feelings about stepping into what once was an escape. In the jungle, it was easy to let yourself get lost and, in the first days of being stranded, that seemed like such a joy at times. With forty people living on a single beach, it was difficult to get privacy. Sure, you could be alone, but not without someone suspecting something or asking if you were okay. As sweet as it was, eventually it grew tiring. Because they weren't okay. Time was supposed to tell, supposed to heal, and they were made of time. Yet things only got worse.

"Does it smell different to you?" Sawyer spoke up suddenly.

Ahead Sayid stopped in his tracks, looking down at something his foot had stopped on. Sawyer and Jack's eyes trailed to the ground as well, and the world seemed to stop at what they saw: a toothbrush. Curious, Jack diverted his eyes away from the toothbrush- pink with goldfish. A child's. Swallowing, Jack expected the worst as he crept along the edges of the path. Part of him planned to flee into the bushes at any sign of danger. Since when did his mind think like that? Previously, he practically welcomed danger. Now danger was testing his limits.

And if sky was the limit, the sky just exploded like Independence Day. He didn't know how far they walked, but it had to be further than it felt. The bushes suddenly felt far away, at the time when all Jack felt like doing was running. Jack knew he was choking on heavy smoke, but if anyone else was, he wouldn't know. His mind was blank. A soft buzzing pierced his eardrums, and Jack's eyes locked in on the scene in front of him.

With a strong hit of dejavu, Jack slowly took in the wreck around him. Luggage lay everywhere. Body parts, clothes, even a keyring was poking out of the ground. Sayid took one step, and they heard a crunch. Jack knew the sound, but Sawyer looked like he was going to be sick as the sickening sound of a bone breaking cracked the silent layer of air. Sayid looked up at Jack, as apologetic as Jack'd ever seen him. Suddenly his rapid breathing dropped tremendously, and Jack looked away, swallowing hard as he choked on air. He didn't have to see the passenger's familiar hand sticking out of the window, still begging for help, to know that this was the same plane he and Kate saw before. Though he didn't say it, Jack knew Sawyer figured out as much as well.

Blood could've splashed at his heals had he anticipated it, but Jack forced himself not to look down. Only around. A wheel of the plane was still spinning, as if depseratly hoping to fly off in escape. It's slow speed stired up the buzzing. Carefully Jack side-stepped bodies with arms stuck out in inhumane angles and cuts etched into their skin in patterns he'd never seen before, and put a hand on the wheel. Slowly it came to a stop, and silence took over once more. No one said or did anything, until Jack noticed Sawyer haunched over a body nearby. He didn't even have to say anything, and Sawyer dropped the cigaret pack he'd been holding, muttering something about 'withdrawals'. Sayid just watched them, still looking like he wanted nothing more than to be able to appologize for everything.

All at once Jack began to feel sick, nauseated, and the smoke and smell of death was once more eating at his lungs. Without saying a word he walked out of the scene. Immediatly, Sayid looked at Sawyer.

"I was only going to take one!" Sawyer snapped bitterly.

By then Jack was a good ways down the path, never keeping track of where he was going. At this rate he didn't care. Why did he have to see that? Was seeing the damn thing get _eaten_ not enough? Once he was sure he was a good distance away, Jack leaned back against a tree, closing his eyes as he tried to suck in a breath of fresh air. Air that didn't reek of the dead. But as soon as he closed his eyes, Jack saw the plane laying there. In his mind he could hear the snap as Sayid crushed the finger, like it was happening again right next to him. Right then in there, Jack knew he'd never sleep again.

When Sawyer found him he was hunched over, pretending to be tying his shoe. The sweat trickling down his forehead might've tipped him off, or maybe it was the errie way Sawyer, like Kate, was able to read him like a book. Either way, Sawyer had come back alone.

"I know you're not tying that damn shoe," Sawyer snickered.

Jack let his foot down from the rock it was perched on. It was no use lying...and his leg was sore. He didn't say anything, but Jack straigtened up, taking a bottle of water out of his pack. But instead of opening it, he just stared at it.

"Because none of them will ever be able to drink again, right?" Sawyer spoke up, almost sarcastically. When Jack didn't reply, Sawyer grinned a little. "That's what all the shrinks say."

"Shrinks don't talk like that," Jack autamatically said, defensivly.

"And how would you know what a shrink talks like?"

Once again, Jack didn't answer. Sawyer smiled. But when Jack continued to be silent, Sawyer sighed drastically.

"Look, if it means anything to you, I'm sorry for the trouble," Sawyer said, as sincere as he could be, "maybe they won't ask about it."

Jack stared at the ground dreadfully.

"Yeah they will."

A long moment past, and briefly Jack found himself wondering where Sayid was. Was he back there, possibly burying bodies? What were they going to do with them? They couldn't start another signal fire; now wasn't the time for hope to be played.

"Are you gonna help me or not?" Sawyer asked at last, wasting no time.

This time Jack didn't answer because he didn't know what to say. No, he didn't want to be in the jungle anymore. In fact, he didn't even want to have to face the jungle. He wanted to sit by the beach, back to the trees that would haunt his nightmares for the rest of his life, and see nothing but the open sea; the sea that could bring so much good to them. But yet it didn't.

"Don't worry," Sawyer said at his silence. A hand fell briefly on his shoulder. "You're off the hook."

Sawyer walked away before he could protest, and before Jack knew it he was back at the beach. When Kate saw him step onto the sand, he couldn't even explain how he got there. She ran to him, catching him before he was hardly out of the shade.

"What happened?" Kate demanded. "Where are Sawyer and Sayid?"

"I don't know," Jack muttered, trying to walk on.

Just to the sea. He just wanted to get to the sea. Then he'd be fine.

"Jack!" Kate grabbed at his arm, and he jerked away. He didn't want to tell her what he just saw. To Kate, it was seemingly fading away, and he didn't want to bring it back. She grabbed his arm again, this time throwing him towards her. They stared at each other for a minute, daring the other to talk.

"I don't-" she began with a shake of her head.

Placing his hands on her shoulders, Jack forced her to meet his eyes.

"Promise me," Jack began, more slowly and forcefully this time, "that you won't go in the jungle."

Kate stared at him for a long moment, studying him for reasons. He'd be questioned, he knew, and now she was probably obligating just to get to that point.

"Okay," she agreed, nodding like an obedient child, "I won't, I promise."

Nearby, shifty eyes glared at what was being said, but Jack didn't notice as he wrapped his arms around Kate, as if needing to know that she was really there. Safe in his embrace, Kate was worried, but pulled herself together as they broke apart.

"Are you okay?" She asked him, concerned, but careful to not be to desperate.

"Yeah," Jack replied, just as she knew he would, "you?"

The question caught her off guard, and Kate's head shook in a double take.

"Fine," she replied uncertainly.

Kate stuck her hands in her pockets as Jack looked away, both unsure of what to say next.

"Do you think Rebecca's okay?" Kate asked finally.

It was a silly thing to say, both knew he couldn't possibly have an answer, but Jack didn't turn her down.

"I'm sure she's fine," Jack reassured her.

Another awkward pause passed until something caught Kate's eye from the jungle.

"That was fast," Kate commented, and Jack turned to see what she was looking at.

Sawyer and Sayid were making their way out of the jungle, Sawyer hobbling with Sayid supporting his weight. His ankle was stuck out in front of him at an odd angle, and Jack momentarily froze, remembering the broken bodies that still lay on the jungle floor. Somehow he still remembered to run and helped Hurley retrieve Sawyer from Sayid.

"What happened?" Jack asked Sayid, and then turned to Hurley, "set him down over here."

"He tripped," Sayid replied as Jack and Hurley lowered Sawyer onto an airline chair.

Jack reached for some water, provided to him by Kate. A sock was already wrapped around Sawyer's ankle in attempts to decrease the bleeding, but it wasn't doing its job.

"I didn't trip," Sawyer growled bitterly, "I fell."

Her arms crossed, Kate rolled her eyes above him, but Jack ignored the comment.

"Did he fall down a hill?" Jack inquired, quickly unwrapping the makeshift bandage.

"He tripped on a limb."

Surprisingly, Sayid seemed almost as amused by this as Kate, who was covering her mouth to keep hersefl from laughing; but Jack figured Sawyer probably gave him a hard time. Of anything, comic relief was what they needed. But when Jack saw the cut on Sawyer's ankle, he knew it was no laughing matter. The cut was deep, sputtering blood as he tried to stop it.

"It was a branch!" Sawyer argued defensivly.

"I'm sure it meant well," Kate said with a smile. Sawyer glared at her.

"Sorry if my _safety_ wasn't on my mind," Sawyer expressed. He looked up at Jack impaciently. "Would you hurry it up? I've got places to be."

Jack took a good look at the cut, deciding in his mind what supplies he would need to tend to it.

"Sorry," Jack said, throwing the blood-coated sock on the ground, "you're not going anywhere."

Sawyer glared at him incredulously as Jack felt around the bones of Sawyer's ankle. Immediatly Sawyer gasped roughly in pain, swatting Jack's hand away.

"Does that hurt?" Jack asked, concerned.

"_Yeah_," Sawyer said, looking slightly sick.

"Yeah, you're not walking for a week," Jack told him, standing up.

Sawyer watched him, furious.

"You're kdding me, right?" He said, almost desperatly.

Jack shook his head.

"That's one helluva rip," he commented, as if it explained everything.

Groaning, Sawyer leaned his head back. The pain felt like it was delayed in hitting him, coming on all at once. After a moment he lifted his head back up, watching Jack carefully.

"I've got to get back out there!" Sawyer exclaimed. Each moment risked passing time, and Jack wasn't the only one that knew what crashed that plane, and the fury of it.

Sayid, who'd been listening thoughtfully, stepped up.

"I'll look for her," he volunteered, surprising even Jack.

"Sayid-"

Jack stopped. He could say what he did to Kate and she would listen, because she knew what they were risking, but it would be unfair to say that to Sayid. Truthfully he didn't want anyone out there, but he couldn't demand they stayed. Sayid, Jack was sure, was well aware of the risk he'd be taking going deep into the jungle.

"I'll go," Sayid said, finalizing the matter. He turned to Sawyer. "I'll find her."

Determined, Sayid set off towards the jungle without another word. Sawyer and Jack watched him, as if transfixed by his disapearing sillouhette.

"Remember when you were a kid," Sawyer said suddenly, "and your teacher wanted you to draw a picture of what you wanted to be when you were older?"

Jack stared at the ground thoughtfully, trying to remember what he drew. He did remember doing something like that, and Jack remembered going home and telling his father about it. Whatever he picked, his father laughed and said 'No son, you'll be a doctor'; and Christian would go on and on about how he'd take over his position, upholding their small family 'honor'. Even as a five year-old kid, that was the philosophy he was taught. Now the thought made him sick.

"Yeah," Jack finally replied.

"Mine wasn't of him."

Snorting, Jack greeted Kate as she brought him the medical supplies she volunteered to retrieve.

"Is he going to be okay?" Kate asked as Jack began uncapping a brown bottle.

Jack looked at her, slightly surprised. If Sawyer was as well, he didn't react, but stayed quiet, already lost in his own silence. His head was turned to the jungle, like he was trying to see straight through it.

"He'll be fine," Jack assured her. He planted a quick kiss on her lips. "I promise." She looked away as he turned back to Sawyer, warning him that, "This will sting."

(space)

"I heard Jack telling Kate not to go into the jungle," Sebastian noted as he sat down beside Michelle, who was sitting in the sand.

"Honestly," Michelle said, sitting up. Her wrist was now healed, and though she was grateful for Jack's help, there were a few things he believed that she was beginning to not agree with. "I don't think he had the right to do that." She shook her head. "I can't believe Kate just lets him overule her like that."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

"And what happened to the membership to the Jack fanclub?" He said sarcastically.

Rolling her eyes, Michelle handed Sebastian the glasses he was looking for. He put them on, squinting as his vision adjusted. Mutually they stared out at the sea. Briefly they'd lived in Florida, and other beach type areas that were busy nearly all year around, baring residence to everyone from tourist to a hungry seagull. What would Michelle give to see another seagull, or have to ask for the thousandth time directions to the interstate? She'd always had mixed feelings about living on a beach. In the open space she felt exposed, as if one could point her out like a pink shirt at a funeral. A city, however, provided her with hundreds of women who looked just like her. Everyday she'd be asked if she was a Shelly, Lauren, or Lindsey, and the idea of being mistaken for someone else made her feel that much safer.

"Maybe he's right," Sebastian said over their silence. Michelle looked at him, only slightly surprised. He always seemed to go against everything she said. "The jungle..we don't know what's in there. Jack's seen more than any of us. If he says it's dangerous, it's dangerous."

Michelle stared at him, mouth agape.

"Just because Jack's not going into the jungle doesn't mean I'm not," Michelle protested.

"Fine," Sebastian shrugged, "if you want to get eaten...it's your skin-" scowling at the comment, Michelle turned away, "I figured since you hero-worshiped him, you'd read his bible."

"Reading it doesn't mean worshiping it," Michelle said softly, "and...I like him and all, and I feel bad for him; it's just-" she shook his head, "he's different, somehow."

"Yeah," Sebastian said sarcastically, "he's seen over a dozen people being _eaten_. I'd imagine it'd change your faith."

Quiet, Michelle stared down at the sand below her. She hadn't mean to lash out, she just had a soft spot for women with overbearing husbands. It was a been there, done that, kind of thing. Then again, Jack wasn't Kate's husband, and Kate definetly possesed a good amount of independence. Michelle hadn't meant for that conversation to bother her so much, it was just a little close too home.

"I guess I'm just a little afraid," Michelle admited, whispering as if not wanting anyone but Sebastian to hear.

Everyone was trying to stay so strong during all of this, and it was just a matter of time before they reached their breaking point. Soon their emotions would come undone, and when that happened, the island would be nothing but complete chaos. Even more than it already was. When their heroes began to fumble, when their guides began to disapear, time drew on to teach them that this was no longer their fight. The fight was in every single one of them, and to have to pick up the pieces, to start over again, would take something that Michelle wasn't sure they were capable of. It had been Jack, after all, that set things straight that first week. Now it was almost like he'd given up. He was fighting to regain himself, but any therapist could see that Jack was afraid he was fighting a losing battle. Or at least a wavering one. Everytime things seemed to perk up, something else would bring him- them- down.

With Sebastian's arm around her, a shiver went up her spine, and she seemed to know what he was going to say before he said it:

"I am too."

(space)

"You don't have to stick around," Jack said, looking up at Kate, who had stuck by him for the last half hour as he took care of Sawyer's ankle. Now he was cleaning up, and he still was having to convince Sawyer the importance of not walking on that foot.

"I'm fine," Kate insisted and forced a smile, "someone's got to entertain him."

Just to spite them, Sawyer grinned wildly, stopped by a glarring Jack.

"Don't worry about me," Sawyer said sarcastically, as if welcoming the pity as he let his head roll to the side again, "I'm just..."

A sudden low rumble drew their attention to the jungle. Motion on the beach stopped at once- Claire passing Aaron to Charlie, Michelle and Sebastian getting to their feet, Hurley eating a mango; and everyone looked towards the jungle. There was another low rumble, and frightened whispers sparked amongst the camp.

"That was close," Jack commented, reading the other two's minds.

Trees shook, and a dejavu of their first week on the island swept through everyone's minds. Only now they were closer, and now they had more to lose. Just like that first week, the very first attack- though, thankfully, no one of knowledge was hurt- a roar echoed through the jungle, and people were running before a command had to be given. Both Jack and Kate grabbed for Sawyer, whose eyes met the jungle, flaring like he was staring at the devil. Already the beach was empty, and Jack got away with Sawyer without realizing Kate had fallen behind, suddenly tripping over her fast-pace footsteps. She cursed at her ungracefulness, and brushed her hair back as she looked for Jack. They were out of sight. She was left standing on the beach with only abandoned tents and campsites, including her own not far away. But the swaying of the trees told her the monster was headed their way anyway.

In her mind she told herself to run, to find Jack. She'd be safe there. Her feet faught the order, staying put, gluing themselves to the sand. At the protest her mind was suddenly blank, and it froze in shock. For a moment she saw a flashing white light, but after staring hard to the jungle, it disapeared. The noises stopped, leaving the beach deathly silent. Still she couldn't run. It was as though not only her mind, but her body as well, was frozen like stone. Maybe that was the monster's secret, Greek mythology. But even though she didn't seen anything, and all was quiet, she could sense something around her, like a shark searching through an abandoned ship. A feeling rushed through her like nothing she ever felt before, and suddenly she knew that this was what Alex experienced before she died. She swore to God she'd never tell Jack. Kate was terrified, and there wasn't anything she could do about it; but at the same time, she felt...satisfied. Like she was looking through the mirror of her life, and she felt good about it. It could all end right now, and it would be okay. Her life was staring her down, its eyes peering at her through the clearness of strength that surrounded her.

But she knew that couldn't be right. She wanted Jack...if she went on, she could never be with him, their baby would never be born. And she wasn't satisfied with what she was leaving behind. She'd never so desperatly wanted him to be there for her, to pull her out of this.

"Kate!"

Her heart lept at his voice. It was as though he read her thoughts. For a moment she felt guilty; he'd come back for her. What if he was just pulled into this as well? At least they'd died together then...

"Kate!"

Someone was tugging at her arm. The essence of the feeling around her dissolved immediatly, breaking into Jack's embrace as he held her close, as if trying to breathe in confirmation of her life. She felt a soft kiss being planted against her hair, reminding her that he was there. Still in shock, Kate hardly noticed when he pulled away. Just to think that she almost lost him...she could still feel it inside her.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked in his usual concerned tone. Studying her closely, Jack held her arms as he searched for an answer before she could speak. "Kate?"

He sounded petrified at her silence. She wanted to talk to him, tell him she was okay, but when she opened her mouth, nothing came out. And just to think, she didn't even see anything. Just the feeling of the experience...and there was nothing even there! Kate couldn't make sense of it. To ease her mind, she concentrated on trying to talk.

"I'm fine," she whispered, her voice coming out in a croak.

As the only thing she could think of to do, she pulled him back towards her, suddenly feeling that same need to know the other one's there. Holding him close, she tried to convince herself that she was okay now, that she was safe. But that was a lie. Even at the beach they weren't safe, and now they had nowhere else to go. Then again, if she was the only one that saw(or rather, didn't see), anything, then maybe no one could know...like a false alarm. Resting her head against Jack, she decided that was the best plan. The thought that their survival depended on a lie made her feel even unsafe than before, but she did her best to cover her fear as she finally let Jack free, breaking away from their embrace.

(space)

"So he comes in," Locke recited, hands waving towards the annexed room of the hatch, "she's tied up, and you tell him you're an Other. And he believes you?"

Boone shrugged.

"I don't think he was right in the head," Boone guessed, "if you know what I mean."

The three of them, Boone, Locke, and Rebecca, were sitting in the main room of the hatch. Boone had already talked through what happened, but Locke wanted to go through it on his own, the dead body of Daniel still laying on the ground. Beside him, sitting untied in the chair, Rebecca was making clear attempts to try not to look towards it. Against the wall, Callum had planted himself in a slouching position, resting his head against his chest with a hand on his bad leg.

"I hate to interrupt," Rebecca shivered a little as she spoke, her arms crossed over her chest in attempts to stay warm in the damp room. Boone and Locke were used to the hatch's unconvenient conditions, but as Rebecca looked around, it was obvious she still wasn't sure what to think or how to react. "But I'd really like to go back."

Locke looked up at her, as if realizing she was there for the first time.

"I'll take her back," Boone volunteered.

Even though Locke was there now, and the weight of the situation was off his shoulders, Boone still felt a little shaken. He wasn't used to being alone in any kind of combat like this, and though none of their own was critically hurt, it still felt like he failed miserably. Normally Boone prefered being in the hatch than the beach, to avoid questions and the simple embarrasment of being alone, but for the first time he needed to get away for awhile.

"Come on," he said to Rebecca.

Ignoring him, Rebecca remained near Locke, as if frozen. Boone realized that this could've been the most traumatic thing she'd experience since the crash, and she hardly knew him. She must've been so frightened...she would be for awhile.

"It's okay," he said soothingly, and reached out for her hand.

She stared at it, as if insulted by the offer. Instead of accepting she walked on herself, following Boone through the darkened hallway with its red lights and emergancy exit sign. Rebecca didn't ask, but Boone knew she had questions. Hell, he still had questions. He nearly sighed in relief when he reached the large exit door, hoping to himself that somehow it would be dark outside. He was ready for this day to end. As he turned the handle, Boone thought he'd dance in joy when the door was open, but instead of pushing open, the door remained cealed shut. Frustrated, Boone tried the handle a few more times, glancing back towards Rebecca sympathetically.

"Sorry, it usually doesn't..." Boone trailed off, despertatly trying to knock open the door. He tried throwing the weight of his body against the door, but it only caused an explosion of pain to his left side. Twice more he tried it, both times failing. "Locke?" He called to the back room. "The door's stuck!"

"I was just about to tell you the same thing," Locke said, appearing in the hallway. Callum was leaning painfully against the wall as Locke explained that the original hatch door was also sealed shut- as though it was never escavated.

Boone stared at him.

"That's impossible," he finally said, after a long moment of silence.

"You're talking about the impossible in here?" Callum called, amused, from his spot on the wall. "I'd get your beliefs straight, if I were you."

Flashing a smile, Callum let himself bathe in his moment before leaning his head back in pain. Boone looked to the door, as if trying to open it with his eyes. Rebecca watched him, horrified, eyes wide with swelling tears. Sighing, Boone began to get the feeling that he was alone in this again. He closed his eyes, and Shannon's face flashed before him in the darkness. Smiling. She hardly ever smiled at him. He wanted to stay in this dark place, but the familiar leaking pipe brought him back to reality. Feeling slightly more confident, Boone turned to them.

"What about Sayid?" Boone suggested hopefully.

"Not a chance, mate," Callum actually seemed to be enjoying himself, "this place is going into lockdown."

Rebecca glanced between the three of them.

"What does that mean?" She asked fearfully, desperatly searching them for answers.

Boone and Locke turned to Callum with the same question. Suddenly the man's cheerful demeanor was gone, and he was back to his alert, parinoid self.

"We're stuck here, mate."

The three of them exchanged glances, Rebecca looking like she'd burst into tears at any given moment. Boone felt horrible for her, and even Locke was starting to. He was just about to reassure her, tell her that they'd get out of this, when then the hatch gave a sudden violent shake. The four of them grabbed onto whatever wall they could find, Boone clutching Rebecca's arm protectivly. Locke held his own arm out over the two, as if shielding them from danger.

"What the hell was that?" Rebecca whispered, speaking their terrified thoughts.

With a long screetch of metal against metal, followed by a familiar clanging, at least the three of them almost expected the roar that came next.

Somehow, the monster was stuck in there with them.

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much for reviewing! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

Finding the necklace gives Charlie a new faith that he's not afraid to share with everyone, someone's secret is spilt, and someone comes back.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky


	36. The Cold Hard Truth

In the End

Chapter Thirty-Six

**Disclaimer: **"The Cold Hard Truth" was inspired by a _Dead Zone _episode(one that was, in fact, directed by Anthony Michael Hall), and 'the cold hard truth' actually refers to a radio show. Does that have anything to do with the story? Not really. Also, Locke's monolague was inspired by Johnny's monolague in the _Dead Zone_ episode "The Storm".

_"Or maybe it's time someone gives you the cold hard truth for a change."_

-_The Dead Zone_, "The Cold Hard Truth"

_"How many times do I have to see people die in my head before I go crazy?"_

_"But there's one thing I do understand about the universe, and that's my place in it."_

-both quotes from _The Dead Zone_, "The Storm"

_"I had to chose between failing as an agent and failing as a mother. I chose to fail as a mother."_

- Irina Dervko, _Alias_

**Chapter Thirty-Six: **The Cold Hard Truth

Callum rushed into the other room so fast that the other three instinctively followed, the danger of doing so having left their mind. He didn't know what he'd expected, but seeing the room laying empty as normal wasn't in Boone's mind. They looked around, as if expecting a demon to pop out of the shadows. The hatch was full of shadows. In fact, it made a monster seem fitting for a place like this: dark, damp, locked up. Like a monster's lier. Boone shivered at the thought.

"Maybe we should try the door again," Rebecca whispered, staring from where they all were, straight ahead to the annexed room of the hatch, like they expected something to crawl out of there.

The comment made her seem like an amateur- she clearly didn't know the place, what it held, what it did. And what happened when she found out? Would Locke force her to stay down here as well, living some kind of double life like a spy? If they even lived to have to decide, that was.

No one answered her, and the only sound was the room giving itself a steady shake. They didn't dare move to any of the walls, only stood in the middle, frozen. Boone could just hear Hurley's opinion on the situation:

_Dude, this is just like that one episode of Scooby-Doo!_

Only this time, the monster wasn't some guy in a mask. This was real.

"This is like that one-"

Boone cut Callum off before he could finish.

"Don't start," he warned, irritated at the way people were able to read minds around here.

The hatch gave another familiar shake, and Boone knew this was what Shannon had to of felt like before...before...But she might've ran, he thought hopefully, ran like hell. Which probably made that thing madder. Just to think a monster like this could have feelings...it was absurb. All day, everyday since she died, Boone wondered about her death: if she yelled for help...for him. The worst part, though, was knowing she suffered.

Again the room rumbled like a breaking down elevator, they looked around again as the monster roared. That was when Boone first realized the had no idea what they were looking for. How ironic; all this time they had been fighting something they'd never seen. For all they knew, it could've been a pink unicorn.

Then suddenly, a few feet from them in the middle of the room, a black cloud of dust began circulating just inches above the floor. Rebecca was the first to step back, terrified and trembling, and the others were quick to follow. Just as quickly as it came the dust disapeared, and all seemed well again until the computer suddenly went array. White lines danced across the screen, cutting up the colored picture. Like before the computer beeped, and as they stared at it, mystified, Boone wondered why they'd never heard it before. The unfamiliar noise rang in a painful buzz in their ears, and it wasn't until the picture became disoritented that Boone rushed over to see what was wrong. No one questioned him, but he vaguely remembered Locke calling out his name as his hands searched the keyboard for some clue of what to do. His hands fell over the few letter keys the keyboard possessed, but something sharp pulled him back, scratching at his arm. He tried to pull away, hissing in pain, only to have his arms repeativly scratched into thick scars. Holding his arm where red lines were appearing against his pale skin, Boone frantically looked for whatever was attacking him.

None of them noticed the black cloud had stopped developing, now simply turning into clear dust.

"Boone?" Locke called, sounding distant and far away, though he was only a few feet from him.

Boone turned to reply that he was alright, when suddenly it felt like something grabbed him. Like fingers with extra-sharp nails. Still Boone didn't see anything, but his arms flared in pain, skin turning a burning red color. Clutching his arm in pain, Boone fell against the wall as the computer sputtered in sparks. Though invisible, Boone could've sworn a few times that he spotted the thing that was surely swarming around now- he could feel the wind from it- but the computer malfunctioned on its own, a few spare sparks sputtering from it before the picture went completly black.

_Not again._

Rebecca looked scared out of her mind, but fear didn't stop Callum, who immediatly turned towards the back hallway. Locke caught his arm before he could get away.

"Where are you going?" Locke demanded.

Watching from where he was cowarding in pain in the corner, Boone had never seen Locke so angry.

"Hiding," Callum replied rather calmly to Locke, "I suggest you do the same."

But Locke only gripped his arm tighter.

"What are we hiding from?" Frustrated, Locke's anger came out in a booming voice that made Rebecca jumped. Boone concentrated hard on the conversation, trying to ignore the pain in his arm.

He expected Callum's eyes to grow wide with some explination, but instead they only grew impatient, darting around with a half-hearted reply.

"Life, death, the government?" Callum suggested, spitting out each word without much thought. "Hell if I know."

Leaving Locke with the reply, Callum wrestled out of his grip, but only for Rebecca to grab his arm next. He looked furious, but he stopped at the frightenening way her eyes were set on him.

"Take me with you," Rebecca had to whisper, so stiff in fear that her voice barely squeked out in the softest tone.

Callum's impacient manner softened tremendously at her quiet request, and- just to fill the silence- he easily dropped his hand from her hold. He looked like he didn't know what to say.

"Go with him," Locke instructed suddenly.

It took Boone a moment to realize Locke was speaking to him.

"What?" Boone said, confussed. Why was he being voted off?

A rumbling from nearby and a burning pain in his arm hinted at a suggestion.

"Go," Locke said, waving his hand towards the back of the hatch.

The monster gave another rumble, closer this time. It felt like he was in a really bad horror movie...a feeling he tended to get a lot on the island. Boone looked from Rebecca to the computer. He wasn't trying to chose, but he was trying to figure out what was going on. What did the monster want with the computer? How could it have a mind of its own? But then, a lot of things seemed to have a mind of its own on the island.

They just needed someone to control it.

"Locke!" Boone shouted suddenly, mind reeling with realization

Everything was coming together now. The two computers, right next to each other. They couldn't of just been built for psycological experiments. There weren't even any cameras. Who was watching it?

Part of the reason Boone went on with his theory was just for the sake of not having to answer that question. Turning to him, Locke somehow knew from the tone of Boone's voice not to protest. Rebecca was nearly whimpering, but Callum looked interested as well about what Boone had to say.

"We've been wrong from the beginning," Boone announced, thinking fast along with an incoming headace, "this computer-" he waved his hand towards the now-black screen, "it doesn't have anything to do with killing the monster." Locke's eyes grew narrow, and Boone drew a deep breath, preparing himself for the explination. Turning, he met Locke's gaze. "It's doing the exact opposite."

(space)

Slowly people began moving back to the beach, looking more frightened than they'd even been. More than when the Others took Charlie and Claire, more than when the people on the raft floated back towards shore, and more than even knowing about why they were back in the first place. Because this was on their land. Something had come to them, something was invading their home- or at least the closest thing they had to it. The beach was supposed to be their safety-zone, and Jack knew that was what everyone was thinking as they crept back into camp, clutching to each other's arms, too afraid to think to accuse. Except for one.

"I thought we were supposed to be safe here."

Jack held back a groan. Carefully he and Kate finished sitting Sawyer- who was looking more miserable than ever- back onto the ground, and turned to look at the man who had spoken up. He could've been mistaken for Sawyer himself, a trouble-maker, no doubt, always speaking up, ready for rebellion. His name was Mitchell. Only a few had the nerve to call him Mitch. Now, Mitchell was looking specifically at Jack. Jack could already feel what was coming for him.

"That's what you said, right?" Mitchell began easily.

But Jack knew from previous fight experiences that that's how it went. Easy at first, and then they really laid it on you. Jack didn't even try to cut him off. He knew he'd just be interrupted. Just as expected, Mitchell stepped up. Glances were exchanged, though Jack wasn't sure they were of concern for him. It was more like their own realization. Slowly Jack was beginning to feel betrayed. He wanted to steal a look to Kate to see how she was reacted...if she was just as disapointed.

"I thought-" Jack began wearily.

He found it harder than he thought to gain the energy to fight back. The island was drowning him with exhaust, taking too much from him, even if he didn't want to admit it. And whenever he thought of the possibility of another crash, all he could remember was finding that toothbrush on the ground, and the rough, burning hot, feeling of the wheel as he stopped its buzzing spin. How absurb was it that that was the second plane crash he had walked in on in his life? This year? It wasn't right...it wasn't human.

"You thought for yourself," Mitchell jabbed an accusing finger towards Jack. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Kate lifting a hand towards his arm before second guessing herself. He took another step towards Jack, and Jack could meet his cold stare more easily now. As if it helped things. "Who was it that was in your mind when you decided to pack everyone up and head out?"

Jack forced himself not to answer- mentally or verbally. He couldn't admit that he made a mistake, not in front of everyone. As long as he kept it to himself, Jack would never have to admit that he failed as a leader. That his father had been right. The very thought made Jack want to drop to his knees and sink away. Instead he concentrated hard on Mitchell and what he was saying, attempting to regain the upper hand in this.

"What do you bet if we went back to that place right now, it'd still be standing?" Mitchell went on, without a touch of sympathy or regret. Like he was letting off long-held steam. "But out here-" he opened his arms wide to show the vastness of the beach, "in the open? Yeah that thing's going to find us! We've got no where to hide!" Throwing his arms down, Mitchell walked closer to Jack, decreasing the distance between them even more. "Tell me, _Doctor_, what was your gameplan out here? Hope and pray we wouldn't be someone's dinner? Because we sure as hell know that won't do us any good." He hardly gave a moment's pause before going to his next point. Jack could feel the eyes around him taking in every ounce of what was being said, breaking it down and taking out the truth. And the truth was, most of it was true. As much as he hated to admit it, Jack's only gameplan was to keep everyone alive. Was that so wrong? "Speaking of our good 'ole friend, you're wanting to tell me that you've seen this thing eat someone _twice_ and you never even saw what it was? You couldn't stop it?"

Jack's heart stopped for a beat. He'd never even thought of the fact that he'd never actually seen the monster- which was true- but to have him accused of not helping? Right then and there Jack felt like lashing out a story of seeing Alex die, the way he'd clutched onto her hand for so long until she finally dropped into the dark pit underneath. The way for a few feet he could hear her screams. And the plane...

"You have no idea," Jack began as the pictures his mind worked so determindly to push back came back to life, playing like a black and white horror film. Shutting his eyes tightly, Jack tried to force the mental picture into words, not a story in his head. That just made him feel crazier. It'd taken him nearly days just to wrap his mind around the idea of a real-life monster. Voice shaking madly at the thought, Jack wasn't able to continue.

"Oh, I have no idea?" Mitchell gave out an incredulous laugh. "I have no idea what it's like to sink myself into a depression so low, that I can't even _function_? Three out of twenty years of my brother's life was spent in a depression so deep that if he didn't go a day without some kind of meds or therapy-" like Jack before, Mitchell trailed off, a wacky grin of disbelief plastered across his face, like that of a mask or clown. "You want to know why my brother only lived to twenty?" Throughout his outburst, Mitchell had somehow made it to an inch in front of Jack without Jack himself even noticing. Jack didn't answer, daring to only give the slightest shake of his head. Leaning close, reminding Jack very much of Sawyer, Mitchell said low and coldly: "Thought so."

A long, tense, moment of silence passed between them as Jack was left to dwell on this thought. These accusations were supposed to bring up feelings of guilt in Jack, a guilt so immensely impossible to handle that Jack would give up, admit his failure. But he didn't. Instead Jack felt a desperate need to defend himself, to tell stories, to make these people see that it wasn't easy handling the images and memories that haunted his mind daily. He desperatly tried to think of a good argument, something that would make a difference, all while hoping the silence would buy him time. His plan faltered.

"There were so many things you didn't think of," Mitchell went on. If he was still bothered by telling the story of his brother, he didn't show it. One day, Jack hoped he could become that graceful with dealing with grief. Just one comment and be done with it. No need to dwell or cry, just acknowledge that something happened so they'd get the memories they deserved. The good ones. "What about Claire? The baby?" As if being filmed on camera, the whole scene shifted so that all eyes were on Claire, who was holding the baby, frightened. But Jack knew there was something deeper than fear there. She was listening. And she wasn't disagreeing. Neither was Charlie. They didn't even offer glances of sympathy. "And Sun?" Mitchell crossed over to where Sun was standing alone, a vacant space in the sand next to her as though it was made for Jin, were he to suddenly return. Jack could just see him, smiling, ready to offer fish or another catch of the day, happy to have his wife there with him. "She lost her husband, and it's like no one even gives a damn!"

Unlike Charlie and Claire, Sun blushed a little at being called upon, but like Charlie and Claire, she didn't protest. Surely they weren't agreeing with this guy? Jack had sacrificed a lot for these people...he thought they appreciated them! But now they eyed him scornfully, and Jack swallowed just to give himself a little hope.

"You've made so many mistakes that no one seems to care about, when they could've been a matter of life and death!" Mitchell continued. He didn't seem ready to give up yet. "All these kidnappings, deaths. Do you expect us to just sit around and wait for you to recover every time? You can't be a leader if you're sitting around all day, feeling sorry for yourself!" Jack wanted to comment that he was just thinking this yesterday, but before he got the chance he was overrun again. "It's like just because your world's completly stopped, ours can't move forward...and something's telling me the island doesn't agree with that philosophy." Now Mitchell looked around the other castaways, excitment dancing in his eyes. "Come on, tell me there's something you don't find wrong there!"

It was quiet, but only for a moment when, surprisingly, Charlie, was the first to speak up.

"There was that hatch," he pointed out, a little nervous at first but steadily regaining confidence. However, he never met Jack's eyes, instead looking away to the ground as he spoke. "It was this big deal, and then at one point...it stopped. How do we know it's not dangerous?"

_Talk to Locke about that, _Jack heard himself say in his mind, but forced himself to keep quiet. If that got out, then they'd lose trust in Locke as well. And if they did that, then Locke's feelings towards them may change...and God only knew what that hatch actually did.

Behind him, Jack could feel Kate and Sawyer wondering why he wasn't defending himself. Deep down, part of Jack was actually curious about what everyone had to say. But only a small part. He didn't want to make himself appear as a failure and certainly didn't want to encourage it.

"I have nothing to do with that," Jack said, at last, defending himself honestly. "Look, I've done a helluva lot for you guys, and if you can't see that-"

"Like what?" Mitchell cut in harshly. The crowd around him looked even more interested, if possible. They were listening enthusiastically, scanning each statement said for a new accusation they could use. Jack was aware of crowds like these, but he never thought he'd be the center of one.

"For one, he's kept you alive."

Everyone, including Jack, turned at Kate's defense. Jack never found himself more grateful, and found himself letting her continue on. Arms crossed, she stepped forward, smiling a little, the kind of smile that came with a distant memory.

"He's been your doctor, your friend," she went on, "but he's only human. You can't blame him for every mistake he makes when you've done nothing to help yourself."

Jack realized a moment to late that he was smiling as well, like an idiot, happily taking in Kate's words and appreciating every one of them.

"And like always he has his girlfriend to stick up for him." Jack was sure he wasn't the only one who groaned slightly at Mitchell's voice. "How does that feel, to be the one to pick up his pieces, when all he does for you is order you around, rid you of indepence?"

Kate's eyes grew dark, the memory fading into something much more colder. A nerve had been touched, Jack knew, and Kate wouldn't take that very well.

"If I want independence," Kate began sternly, glaring at Mitchell with a cold, hard, stare Jack didn't even know Kate possessed, "I'll get it."

A hush of approval suddenly turned against Mitchell's rebellion. Jack felt like grinning. They had friends here, he should've known better than to think they'd turn against them so easily.

"But what gives him the right to talk to you like he did before?" Mitchell exclaimed. "Tell you where to go and where not to?"

Kate tried to ease her stare, clearly determined not to give herself away. During this Jack did his best to try and find a way out of this, an escape route so that they could flee the scene, hide somewhere and talk this out between the two of them.

"He was right, wasn't he?" Kate pointed out with a hint of pride.

Mitchell ignored her point.

"Come to think of it," he said, going along with it as though he was just coming up with something new, when Jack detected he'd spent nights sitting up, preparing this speach, just waiting for the perfect moment to let it all out. And the convenience of the situation came almost too easily. Mitchell turned back to Jack. "You've been so obsessed with your relationship with her that you've forgotten what's important for us all: survival. We can't do that alone, and we looked to you as leader." He gave Jack one last, hard, stare. Though Jack knew what was coming and dreaded it, hated it, part of him was happy to see at least the accusations stop. They came in such an intense wave that Jack still wasn't sure how he was supposed to fight back. "Maybe we were wrong."

For a long time it was quiet. No one dared to say anything, most of them didn't even dare to look at Jack. They looked torn in two, like they didn't know who to believe, which way to go. Finally it was Kate to speak up again, but what she said couldn't of been planned. He would've almost rather her not say anything. Already he was more humiliated then he thought he'd ever been, it was like each case had to top himself. But yet Kate said it, quietly, but everyone heard:

"He was just looking out for the baby."

A short pause followed as everyone stared at her, confussed. Sawyer included.

"What, like Aaron?" At his puzzled voice, somehow it slipped Jack's mind that Sawyer didn't know about the baby.

Slowly Kate shook her head looking trapped, torn. She wasn't looking at anyone in particular, not really even the group as a whole. Jack wondered if he should stop her before she said it, the thing that would change their lives forever. Maybe even in just one moment. But she didn't look at him, not even one glance of desperation for help.

"I'm pregnant."

Her voice was so soft, almost as if she was horrified by the statement. And she was, Jack knew. Kate had to be scared to death. He must've looked shocked at her confession, because a few eyes around them fell on Jack, wondering if even he knew. Jack swallowed, offering no explination. Sawyer watched them incredulously, mouth left hanging agape in complete disbelief.

Then they started to leave. It was like they were parting for a funeral: sad, slow walks away, steps shuffling by in a passing rythm that never seemed to speed up. As the crowd dispersed Jack and Kate tried to ignore the looks thrown at them, the eyes that talked with the emotion they bore. They heard Hurley saying something to Sawyer about going, but only caught a glimpse of his eyes as Hurley looked over Sawyer's shoulder as he helped him hobble away. A single looked of sympathy. Or was it? Jack dared to take a moment to look around, to see if there was possibly anyone left who did care, who did realize that this wasn't just some great plan of theirs. But the last person left standing was Sayid who, for some reason, had drifted to the edge of the crowd from his search. Briefly Jack met eyes with him, and though in the back of his mind he wondered what brought him back, he knew that Sayid had heard everything. A small spark of hope egnited within him when he lingered for a moment, but like everyone else Sayid turned, and walked away.

Jack had never felt so miserable, so embarrased. Because what they were receiving from everyone else were cold looks of disapointment. Like they'd failed them. There were no congradulations, no condolonces whatsover. Everyone just simply left, leaving Jack and Kate to stand there, taking in the aftermath the helpless fight. It didn't matter who was on their side before. As they stood there, moving gradually like magnets towards each other's arms, they knew friendships before were useless. Now they were alone, abandoned harshly, coldly, unsympathetically, and worse of all, without a single second thought.

(space)

"We were wrong," Boone said again. Nearby walls creeked like a haunted house, and Rebecca was trembling madly, turning almost a ghostly white. "We were...conned." Locke didn't protest, but he didn't look convinced either. "Think about it, how many people have died since we started using it?" He pointed to the computer. "Nothing's happened to stop it. We thought it controlled it, but you think if it did, we could stop it somehow." Boone shook his head in disbelief. "Why hasn't anything stopped?"

Rebecca shaking beside him, Locke took in what Bonoe was saying. Callum looked horrified, and made one final attempt to escape before Locke grabbed his arm roughly, jerking him back around.

"Who are you?" Locke demanded.

Boone was slightly surprised to find himself relieved at the fact that Locke believed him, like he really accomplished something with it. Though Callum still was clearly terrified, it didn't seem to be because of Locke.

"I'm just as innocent as you," Callum replied, voice vacant and betrayed, "sorry, Mate, I'm not the bad guy."

With that he tore away, fleeing to hide. Rebecca immediatly followed him without thought, and Locke turned to Boone. Boone thought he'd say something about the realization, though he didn't know what he expected. An apology, maybe? But really, this was still Boone's fault.

"Go with her," Locke instructed.

It was the last thing he expected him to say.

"What?" Boone shook his head. "No, this is my-"

"Go!" Locke bellowed, a vain in his neck throbbing at the effort. Feeling like an ashamed child, Boone didn't object again, and slipped away to the back hall.

Escaping to the back hall, Boone tried not to notice the fact that the ground felt like it was rumbling beneath his feet. His theory was still heavy on his mind, and anger rushed through him as he reached the doors to the individual rooms. He did feel betrayed. Like the island was using him. Throwing open the nearest door, Boone found Rebecca cowarding in the back corner of the pantry. With the floresent light flickering with every small rumble, Rebecca held onto the shelves, despite the food they held. At seeing her shaky form, almost sick with fear, Boone approached her carefully, letting the thoughts of betrayel momentarily slip away. She turned as he entered, and the way her cheeks were streaked with tears startled him, because emotion like this was something never seen down here. It was always anger. Anger over something someone did or didn't do, anger for everything.

"Sawyer brought me here once," Rebecca admited quietly, sniffling to sieze her tears, "please, don't..."

She trailed off, but Boone thought that it was best to say anyway:

"It's fine," he searched his memory for a time when Sawyer would be down here. Then he remembered, it was the first time they came across Callum, or one of the first...he thought. Or maybe it was just something he heard.

The rumbling was growing violently shaky below them, and through the closed door, Boone couldn't hear Locke. Was he okay? Did he follow him to possible safety?

"John?" Boone called tentivly through the door, quickly growing quiet in some hopes of hearing an answer.

In the corner Rebecca shivered, looking sickly pale as she watched him. Wrapping her arms tightly around her, Rebecca looked like she was suffocating. Had Boone turned around to see this, her clear claustrophobia would've been obvious to him. Almost fiercly she trembled, try to keep her attention focused on the door, trying to steady her dizyness.

"Boone," she tried desperatly over the echoy effect of the world that seemed to be caving into her.

He ignored her, continuing to pound on the door.

"Boone!" She exclaimed, gasping as she felt herself choke on her breath, falling back, grasping the wall for support.

This time he turned, racing towards her and catching her before she sank through the ground. Slowly they sat down together, and Boone took her arm.

"You okay?" He asked, sounding as though it wasn't that important. Truthfully he wasn't completly unsympathetic, but Locke was still out there...

But looking at Rebecca's pale face, clutching her shivering hand, Boone was suddenly hit with a flashback of Shannon's island asthma attack. It had gotten so bad...so bad...Sayid even tortured Sawyer for her. He wondered if maybe even back then Sayid had his eye on her. Boone couldn't remember anything specifically that would put truth to his thought, but Sayid did care enough to torture someone...though he made note to make sure not to mention the incident to Rebecca. Did she even know?

Shaking the cold, blue, uneven image of Shannon away, Boone came back to reality just in time to notice Rebecca shaking her head 'no'. Was it an asthma attack? If so, it was almost spooky...like the past was replaying itself, haunting him. Secretly Boone had kept Shannon's inhalers, but he didn't want to use them. As discusting as it sounded, somehow it made him feel close to her. The inhalers were something that always connected them, in its odd way.

"You'll be fine," Boone said assuringly, giving her arm a soothing squeeze, "we'll be okay."

At his words the room gave a jolt, sending Boone crashing into the wall next to her. Looking around frantically, Boone's mind had wrapped itself in worry for Locke, but in the back of his mind, he was still demanding to know where the hell Sayid was.

(space)

Locke spun around, eyes wide in horror as the hatch shook itself to a dead crumble of odds and ends on the floor. Once again the computer was malfunctioning, and it gave another puzzling beep. As if reminding them it was still there. He felt like yelling at it, cursing at it, if Boone's theory had any truth to it. Instead, trying to keep himself together, Locke darted towards the computer, feeling as though he were fighting a strong gust of wind. The screen, once plain black, now blinked at him in white and black transitions of dark and light. A bulb overhead was twitching to a complete blackout, and he could've sworn he heard the forever-leaking pipe finally burst. He tried at first to calmly find some kind of direction or instruction to the keys, find some kind of command that would work, make it stop, but nothing was successful. Maybe Boone was right. It was all a hoax.

Slamming his fist furiously into the computer's screen, Locke ignored the blood that trickled down his knucles following. His mind was spinning, filled with so many ready accusations that he didn't know where to start. The previous life, maybe? The fact that they crashed here in the first place? Crashing here had given him the power to walk again, and though he took pride in that, he was finding it hard to find something to have faith in now.

"What do you want from us?" Locke shouted at the blinking computer. Of course, it didn't reply. He slammed his injured fist against the keyboard, nothing responding to his fury. "Why is it...what are you trying to do? We've had faith all along that we were doing the right thing! Why is it turning against us? What did we do to deserve this!" A spinning gust of wind behind him answered, but Locke stayed put. "Do you want to know why I lost faith? Because I could never understand something that would rip someone apart but act as something completly different! Something that seems...good...in this- _hell_!" It didn't accur to him at the moment that he was yelling at a screen, but he felt it necessary. "What did they do to deserve this? Their lives are ruined, destroyed by this...monster." Pausing a moment to pant for breath, Locke hoped he was making sense. Because it sure as hell made sense in his head. "If we did something wrong, fine! Punish us! Punish me!" Locke blinked in protest as tears stung at his eyes as he remembered all of the ones who were lost...Michael, Walt, Jin, Alex...Danielle had searched sixteen years for her daughter and actually found her! Was actually reunited! And then...then it was all just gone, without a second thought. "What did she do? We're _innocent people_!" But were they really? It was a thought that haunted Locke all the time. He'd heard some stories of other's faults, their regrets. Were they being punished? Did they have reason to be? No...he decided it right then and there. They didn't. Not like this. "Just, please, _leave us alone_!" He felt suddenly exhausted, as if his outburst were taking a psysical toll on him. Though he had more to say, Locke couldn't muster the energy to fight. He didn't want to beg for mercy...but it was almost like that was all they had left. When he spoke again, concluding his speach, Locke really spoke, in a less-frantic, more defeated way: "Leave us alone."

He rested his head against his arm, memories of many simular outburst coming back in waves that exhausted him anymore. Everything seemed to calm down, but still Locke didn't feel completly relieved. Sliding down to the floor, he tried not to think about how storms usually got calm before the worst was over.

(space)

Once Rebecca calmed down, Boone continued to bang on the door. Rebecca watched him helplessly, knowing it would do him no good. But she knew he was angry...she was as well. Why had she ran off like that? Now she could hardly remember what her fight with Sawyer was about. She was beating herself up, trying to remember everything. To savor it. But the last thing she remembered was cursing at him and storming off.

"Boone!" She called suddenly, and he turned around relucantly. Rebecca pointed to him. "Your arm."

Boone looked down. Though he hadn't, Rebecca had noticed that the thick, mysterious, red cuts etched into Boone's arm were bleeding again. Impaciently Boone wiped away the blood, but when it continued to bleed anyway, he let out a cry of frustration and grabbed his arm, slamming himself against a nearby wall. Gasping for breath he turned to her, looking desperate.

"Why can't something turn out the way I want it to?" He asked her helplessly.

Boone did, in fact, looked desperate for answers, some kind of explination. Rebecca didn't know what the hell was going on down here, or what he was talking about, but still she replied:

"I don't know."

An honest moment of silence past between them, and Boone finally seemed to calm down. Once again he set down next to her, picking at the cuts on his arms.

"You should stop the bleeding," Rebecca advised, touching his arm carefully.

"It's fine."

He sounded miserable, and more than ever Rebecca found herself wanting her own answers. She looked around the pantry, wondering if the bags of chips and cartons of pudding would still be empty from where she and Sawyer helped themselves to some stranger's stash of food. Back then she didn't know where she was, or why there was such a place on the island, but it didn't seem to matter. Now it felt like she needed to know, like one last wish granted. Not that her wishes were ever granted. Like Boone, her constant let downs left her wondering why something couldn't go the way she wanted it to, for once.

"It's quiet," Rebecca observed, noting the rumbling from underground had stopped. "What do you think was going to happen?"

Boone shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. Dropping his hands he took a moment to look around the room, and stopped when he noticed something was off. A shelf had moved itself, possibly from all the rumbling, but instead of a wall behind it, there was some kind of steal-like door. There was no handle, but Boone was certain that if the shelf was moved completly out of the way that there would be some kind of security box.

"Where'd you say Callum went?" Boone asked, lifting himself up off the floor.

"I didn't," Rebecca replied uncertainly, watching him, "but wherever it was he pushed me out of the way to get there."

Suddenly Boone looked excited, and crossed the room to the misplaced shelf and, with little difficulty, pushed it completly out of the way. Rebecca stood up at the door she hadn't realized was there, and noticed some kind of control pannel beside it.

"He did say something though," she remembered suddenly, "numbers."

Boone turned to her hopefully.

"What were they?"

"047," Rebecca recited, surprised she remembered them so well.

Anticipation filled the room as Boone examined the control pannel, and Rebecca moved closer to him. But just when they thought that they were going to possibly be safe again- or at least that's what Rebecca hoped- the hatch gave another shaky jolt. Boone looked immediatly to the door, as if expecting Locke to fly into the room. He didn't. Studying Boone's expression, she caught him as his face fell, and another hesitant moment passed before he went back to the control pannel. Though he didn't know what he was doing, Boone punched in the numbers anyway, and the door gave a creaking sound, as if it hadn't been opened for a long time, and slid open a few inches. Catching the door, Boone used all his strength to push the door all the way open, revealing some type of-

"A panic room," Rebecca said for him, peering into the room.

Bare walls and shelves stocked with medical aid and emergancy packs of food gave word to her theory. Boone was the first to step into the room, making his way to a red box in the corner. It was packed with flashlights and batteries. Trying one out, he turned back towards her, looking triumphant. Rebecca, on the other hand, felt betrayed.

"This has been here all this time," she realized, feeling sick again.

It was hard to accept. For months they had been struggling for survival, for food, for shelter, and here all this was...like it was just waiting for them. The way all the supplies were laid out in a perfectably understandable way was almost mocking their struggle. In the back of her mind, Rebecca wondered if this would be enough for...how many more did they have left? Twenty-three, maybe?

Once again the hatch shook, as if reminding them of where they stood. But only the outside of them room was effected. Boone peered outside the door.

"Maybe you should close it," he suggested, nodding towards the door.

She looked behind her briefly, taken aback by Boone's sudden change of heart.

"What about Locke?" She asked, puzzled.

Boone gave a defeated shrug, sighing.

"I don't know anymore," he replied truthfully.

He was already fingering the keys of a smaller, laptop-sized computer that sat at a desk; the map of the island that she had noticed was on the bigger one was on the screen. Boone stared at it for a long time before pushing more buttons that turned the computer off. In reply the lights in the room flickered, which Rebecca found odd because Panic Rooms were supposed to be expertly equiped. This looked almost like a simple hidden closet.

"Who built all of this?" She wondered outloud, making her way to the medical supplies on the shelf.

"It doesn't matter," Boone replied. He glanced towards the door.

She looked up at him in disbelief.

"Of course it matters!" She exclaimed. "We've been stranded on this island for months and this stuff is just...laying here! On a deserted island!"

"Then I'd say it wouldn't be too deserted then," Boone snapped, irritable.

Backing off, Rebecca decided to keep to herself, wondering how long they would have to be in here. Didn't Boone say something before about Sayid coming? It hit her suddenly that if the monster was here, then something might've happened outside as well...possibly something worse. What if Sawyer wasn't even alive? She bit her lower lip to keep it from quivering, swearing to herself she'd never argue with anyone again. Just once she prayed that something could turn out like she wanted it to.

(space)

Sayid had slipped back into the jungle following the attack on Jack. At the moment he didn't even want to have an opinion on the subject. It was in his nature to push things back, to focus on what was important and not his own personal feelings. It's what helped him get through with things. But even so, he had to feel sympathetic at Sawyer's worry for Rebecca...he knew what it was like to lose someone and he didn't want to wish that on another, even someone who wasn't one of his favorite persons. So that was why he was back in the jungle now, risking his life to try to find this woman he hardly knew.

But his options of paths were cutting short, and there was only one left before he was forced to go deeper into the jungle, somewhere he was sure Rebecca wouldn't want to go. Because he didn't know her to well, Sayid found himself thinking of Shannon whenever he needed advice, and he knew Shannon would never go that far into then jungle.

Then again, wasn't that exactly what happened? Sayid had to keep himself from stopping at the thought, forcing himself to go on. He looked for any signs of a trail, but the thought wouldn't escape him. If only he had been there with her, instead of hiding down in the hatch. Guarding that computer never did them any good anyway. People still died, she still died...

The other night Sayid had a dream, speaking of the hatch. He was down there, alone, watching the map carefully on the computer. But it was different than usual. The names had changed, it wasn't right: Michael Loyd, Walt Loyd, Alex Rousseau, Shannon Rutherford...it accured to him in the dream that he didn't know her last name, and only after a moment did he realize that all of these people weren't supposed to be on the list. All these people were dead. For a long, hard, moment he stared at the list, as if it were some kind of cruel joke. But it never disapeared or corrected itself.

He couldn't go back to sleep after that dream. Never did he dream about his previous life, or anything off-island. It was always the hatch, the beach, the caves. The jungle. It was always her.

Which was why he stopped when he saw that he had reached the hatch. He hadn't even had the intention of going there, how he made it there was beyond him. It made him so curious that he gripped the gun he had with him, holding it close as he approached the recently found emergancy exit of the hatch...which was swinging wide open. Cautiously he stepped forward, gripping the gun protectivly. He peered into the long hallway, finding that not even the normal exit lights were on. All was deathly quiet. He took a step into the hatch, remembering the discovery that the door could only open from the inside and that it never stayed open. But now it was just waiting for him to come along, and Sayid had the suspicious feeling that he was being led into a trap. That was when Callum came rushing through the halls, running like he was on fire. Using quick reflexes, Sayid was able to catch him just before he escaped, and pinned him against the wall. Though he knew it wasn't necessary, he aimed the gun at Callum's head, if not only from instinct.

"What happened?" Sayid demanded. Callum was shaking against Sayid's hold. Growing impacient, Sayid pressed the tip of the gun to Callum's head, and demanded more forcefully: "What happened?"

"I don't know!" Callum squeaked, sounding like a frightened mouse. "It came and...I don't know! I've got to get out of here!"

He fought against Sayid's restraints, but Sayid found himself using the strength he'd forgotten he possessed to hold him back. It was as if he were back in war, torturing someone for answers to someone else's questions.

"Where will you go?" Sayid inquired, surprising himself with the question, when he had a million more on his mind.

He didn't know why he was suddenly so worried about Boone at the moment. Sayid didn't loathe him, though the boy was in the way of what could've been a closer relationship between him and Shannon. But Sayid knew Shannon loved Boone, if not as a boyfriend than as a family member, and Sayid respected that. In an odd way he felt like he had to protect Boone now, for her.

"Away from here," Callum answered in a terryfied voice, hair standing up straight on his head like a kid afraid of a haunted house. It was then that Sayid let him go, and Callum gasped for breath as he scanned the jungle. Sayid waited for him to say something, growing impacient again before Callum turned back to him. "I haven't been out here in years."

So he was afraid of the place. And why shouldn't he have been? With all that came with the hatch, the equipment, the maps, the philosophy. Their stories.

"She's in there," Callum said suddenly. Sayid brought his attention back to him. "The girl you're looking for."

He didn't wait around for explination. An amazing amount of relief flowing through him, Sayid took off into the hatch, ignoring the cealed-shut doors that would've been the perfect hiding place for anyone as terrified as Callum. Instead he headed straight for the main room, putting his gun away when he found Locke on the floor, collasped against the wall beside the huge computer screen. The man looked exhausted, to say the least; defeated. His eyes were red from crying, but Sayid didn't take it to heart at the moment.

"Where's Rebecca?" He demanded.

Locke looked up at him slowly, as though he were in a daze. His eyes looked horrificly distant, haunted.

"In one of the back rooms," he said at last, struggling to lift himself off the floor, "Boone went with her. I...I'm sorry...I had to stay."

"It's alright," Sayid assured him, though he didn't know what he was talking about. "Which room?"

"I don't know," Locke said after a moment's pause of thought, sounding frustrated with himself.

Sayid stood, already turning to hurry back to the hall. He heard Locke call after him as he rushed away, but ignored him, throwing open every door without giving a second look. He didn't know exactly what he was looking for, but he didn't let the thought bother him. At last he heard some yelling, sounding more faraway than it should've been. The echoes of the shouts led him to the pantry, a place he hadn't gone to more than once or twice. He didn't care much for eating the food, knowing how everyone else was struggling to hunt and fish. Handing out the food would risk revealing the hatch, which would most certainly cause a scare, a panic. But would it be worse than how scared they already were? The way everyone ganged up on Jack at the beach confirmed their fear, emotions so intense that they'd go against the man who had every intention of saving them all. But even Jack was beginning to get a taste of how powerless he actually was. In the end, all he could do was protect them.

Throwing open the pantry door, Sayid stepped in, taken aback when the place was empty. He looked around cautiously, reaching for a gun when he saw no one was in the room. Then suddenly the back wall- which was, in fact, no longer a back wall but a door- slid open, and Rebecca tumbled out. Hair in a mess, pale, and trembling, Rebecca nearly fell into Sayid's arms when he reached out to help her. He glanced at the door suspiciously, but Rebecca didn't offer him any explination. She looked traumatized, much like Locke, and when he held onto her arms to support her trembling weight, he noticed that there were fading rope burns around her wrist. Sawyer would have a heart attack. He'd blame himself, no doubt(as they all did), though his wounded ankle had kept him from looking for her. But maybe that was for the best now. Maybe, somehow, Sawyer would just accept that things were okay again. For the moment, at least. Because living by the moment was all it seemed they were able to do. It was how they kept time, which hardly mattered on the island.

"Are you all right?" Sayid asked her, examining her tear-streaked face and frightened eyes, much like Callum and Locke's.

She nodded frantically, making it even more obvious that she was lying.

"Boone's in there," she said, pointing towards the room that formed out of the back wall, "it was cold. He...he's injured."

At the word 'injured' Sayid started for the room, stepping in carefully as to not startle Boone. His hard expression softened when he saw that Boone, if possible, looked more traumatized than the rest. He was completly still, staring blankly at the floor with some kind of emergancy blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Sayid pushed away questions about the newly found room, catching a glimpse of Boone's arm as the blanket slid from him the slightest. It was red, almost raw with scars and blood. He didn't say anything but approached Boone carefully, still not wanting to startle him. He appeared very simular to how Jack and Kate did just days ago, and Sayid could only hope that Boone hadn't had a simular experience. But if he did, Sayid imagined he'd be in silence for a long time, so it surprised him when Boone spoke up right away, very aware of his presence:

"Is Locke alive?"

He'd never heard Boone sound so lost. He didn't even ask if Locke was okay, just if he was alive. As though he expected the worse. In the back of his mind, Sayid began trying to piece together what happened here today.

"Yes," Sayid said at last, trying to sound as reassuring as possible.

Boone offered no sign of relief. For all Sayid knew, that wasn't even what he wanted to hear.

"We should get you to Jack," Sayid announced, remembering Boone's arm, "both of you."

He glanced back at Rebecca, who was surprisingly still there. Sayid had half-expected her to flee like Callum, but he was glad she did stay. If she was as emotionally traumatized as she looked, she had no buisness being in the jungle alone. Reaching down to help Boone up, Sayid received no response. Sayid studied him, deciding on what else he could say. But just when he was about to offer further reassuring, Boone reached up with his good hand, letting Sayid pull him off the ground. Still he decided not to ask about the room, and was about to lead them out when Boone spoke up again:

"Are we coming back?"

Boone didn't sound like himself at all, speaking with a dead voice and with dead-looking eyes searching Sayid's, waiting for his answer. Somehow, Sayid found himself wondering how Shannon would've reacted to all this. Would she have been worried sick about her missing step-brother, or would she have enjoyed his absence, not even noticing he was gone? But in the last few days of her short life, Sayid remembered, Shannon had been very suspicious of where Boone went everyday. It was unfair to accuse her of being unsympathetic.

"I don't know," Sayid replied, because it was the only answer he could think to say, the only one that gave the slightest bit of truth.

With Callum wanting to run away and Locke and Boone this troubled, he imagined it'd be difficult to come back. Even Locke looked defeated of the place, crumbled to a smaller form of himself, like he had lost all meaning. At last Sayid forced these thoughts away, and ushered the two out. Callum was out of sight, and when they looked back, Locke couldn't be found as well, but his priority was getting them both back to the beach.

(space)

When they hit the sand Sawyer was already waiting for them, as if he'd gotten some kind of sign ahead of time that they were coming. Jack was no where nearby, and Sawyer had been sitting alone, looking miserable as he rested his ankle, laying on a battered airplane recliner. Rebecca ran to him, deserting Sayid and Boone, who mutually walked at the same pace, seeming in no rush to come home. Maybe it was because to them, this was never truly home. Or at least to Boone. He rarely spent time here, on the beach, though he planned to now. The sun was as painful as always after coming out of the dark hatch, but Boone was able to ignore it, mind elsewhere as Sayid ran off to find Jack. He watched from afar as Rebecca ran to Sawyer, throwing her arms around him like a happy ending to a romantic movie. Boone didn't dare to look around, knowing he wouldn't be so lucky. Part of him wondered if anyone even cared about him anymore. The few times he did come back people looked at him as though he were a stranger, dangerous to them all. And after his discovery about the hatch, he felt like he was just that. Dangerous. Like an infected bug, a virus.

Down the beach, Rebecca and Sawyer embraced, lingering there for a moment as Rebecca sobbed silently into his shoulder, thankful more than ever to finally be back.

"I'm sorry," she choked out, coughing a little at the effort.

"We've got worse things to be sorry about," Sawyer mumbled into her mess of blonde hair, which entangled slightly with his as they pulled apart. "You missed the fun."

He tried to sound as comedic as possible, just trying to be relieved that she was okay and not lying dead in a stream somewhere. The thought made him feel more like a parent whose child had been out past curfew than a boyfriend, and Sawyer let out a snort.

"Yeah?" Rebecca said, managing a small smile through her tears.

"Had us a little pow-wow for Jack," Sawyer replied, attempting to sound pleased with it, though in reality he actually felt guilty. Deep down he knew none of this was possibly Jack's fault. "Luckily somethin' broke it up."

She watched him, interested, though he knew she was just relieved to be back with him, as vice versa. Rebecca was never the one to care much for island gossip, hell, the first time they met she hadn't even know who Kate was.

"Kate's pregnant," he informed her with a smirk.

Her eyes widened, and Sawyer had to laugh.

"Told ya you missed the fun."

For a moment everything seemed at ease, but Rebecca was clearly trying to mentally distance herself, looking distracted as Sawyer noticed fading red rings wrapped around the skin of her wrist. Grabbing her hand, Sawyer forced her attention to him.

"What the hell happened?" He demanded, looking her in the eye.

She stared back, not answering. Sawyer looked around, vaguely remembering that someone had been with her when Rebecca came back. Sure enough, Boone was still lingering by the jungle's edge, looking like a lost puppy. Dropping her wrist Sawyer stormed towards him, shoving Boone back to get his attention.

"What the hell did you do?" Sawyer shouted, drawing attention from a few people nearby.

"I didn't do anything!" Boone insisted defensivly, looking angry at Sawyer for disturbing his peace. "Why don't you just ask her what happened?"

Sawyer stopped, not because of what Boone said, but the fact that he said it. It was honestly the first time he'd heard the boy speak in months. Somehow, Sawyer led himself to believe that he didn't have a voice to defend himself. Aware that everyone was watching him, waiting for him to reply, Sawyer tried to think of a decent excuse.

"It wasn't his fault."

Everyone turned to the second unfamiliar person, the other one they hardly saw anymore, hardly knew of anymore. Locke. Sawyer was surprised he even remembered the man's name. Then again, who could forget a name like John Locke?

"None of this has ever been his fault," Locke went on, seeming to forget that no one would know what he was talking about. He was looking directly at Boone as he spoke, who looked just as surprised as everyone else that Locke was standing up for him. But he was clearly grateful.

Like everyone else, Sawyer didn't know what to think. Neither looked particularly guilty, but he didn't want to think about yet another kidnapper being on the loose. He stared at Locke for the longest moment before finally turning away, though he didn't know what he was going to do next.

(space)

If there was one thing Jack had learned on this island was the art of distancing yourself: mentally or phsyically taking yourself away. Hiding. And if the humilation from the latest accusations of him wasn't enough to chase him away, the looks of disapointment were. He'd been fooling himself, thinking someone would be happy for them. Thinking that someone would understand how hard this would be for them, starting with the fact that Kate was a fugitive. Even if they were on the island for decades, Kate would never let that go. Deep down it would always be within her, wallowing to the death of itself in a pit, Kate herself depending on the theory of it someday just rotting away.

But even the need to distance themselves after the lashing out, like they had been psyically tortured and not just accused of the wildest things that everyone seemed to agree on, couldn't wash away the fact that they were out of water. Assuming he wouldn't be disctracted, Jack planned to slip away, taking the quickest path to the cave and dashing back before anyone would notice he was gone. This time, he decided, he would only get water for the two of them. It was a pity act of rebellion, but Jack wanted to somehow get back at them all, the ones who'd turn away, without making a complete fool of himself. Again. But alas, he knew that eventually he would have to go back for everyone else as well. Rebellion wasn't excatly worth risking dozens of dehydrated castaways.

Surpringly enough, he was distracted. Jack noticed at the last minute that Sayid was approaching him. He stiffened for a minute, expecting everything from a punch to a lecture. For some reason, Jack found himself caring more about what people like Sawyer and Sayid thought than others. Maybe it was because they were closer as friends, and if it ever came to it, they could be surpringly dependable. Sayid stopped a foot in front of him, as if wanting to give him space. A little relieved that this apparently wouldn't lead to a fight, Jack relaxed a little.

"Hey," he said at last, when neither of them spoke up.

Sayid nodded in return. A moment of awkward silence passed until Sayid finally spoke up again.

"I'm sorry about earlier," he said sincerly.

Jack blinked. Part of him felt relieved that someone was bothering to aproach him, but part of him was a little puzzled.

"I should've stepped up," Sayid explained, "none of what he said was true."

Not able to help but to smile a little, Jack looked down, blushing slightly.

"Thanks," he said gratefuly, "but you didn't have-"

"It's fine," Sayid insisted, not letting a moment pass before he added: "I was hoping you could take a look at Boone's arm."

The subject change came so quickly that Jack felt slightly used. Stuttering, Jack shook his head with his reply.

"Sure," he said. What else was he going to say? He was the doctor, and a voice inside Jack's head reminded him that Boone wasn't in the crowd earlier. Speaking of which, where had he been?

Not that Jack wouldn't of tended to someone who had been there.

"What happened?" Jack asked, concerned.

"It's scratched," Sayid answered, adding: "badly."

Jack shrugged.

"Sure," he agree again, "I'll look at it."

He waited for Sayid to say something else, expecting him to in his mind. When he didn't, didn't mention a thing about Kate being pregnant or offer any sympathy, Jack turned away, to where Locke and Boone were standing(though not talking) nearby, trying not to let it show that he was let down. He felt guilty to be nearly begging for sympathy, but Jack couldn't help but to remember back when Sarah was first pregnant. Cards and words of congradulations had come in a storm, like a second wedding day. He admited that deep down, half of him had been expecting that kind of treatment again.

But in truth Jack also admited that he could understand their disapointment- to an extent. After all, they were bringing a new life to an island with more than enough stranded already(though too many dead), with little food and much danger.

"And Jack," Sayid spoke up. Jack turned around, hopeful. "Congradulations." His lips perked up in a smile, and Jack blushed a little, nodding in acceptance.

"Thanks," he said, sounding more grateful than he would've liked. Feeling a little relieved, Jack added: "You're the first person who's said that to me."

Face contorted in sympathy, Sayid gave an understanding nod, and stuck out a hand. Jack shook it, letting him speak again.

"Good luck," he offered, as though they were parting for a long journey.

In spite of the thought, Jack said lightly:

"You going somewhere, Sayid?"

The comment seemed to strike a spark somewhere within the man, and a smile escaped him as Sayid stood, lost in the moment for a few seconds.

"No," he said, and with a nod of his head, turned and left.

Boone and Locke were standing nearby, and when Jack approached, Locke smiled. Jack realized that Locke wouldn't know, unless Sayid told them, and he actually felt glad that for once they'd be able to tell somebody. Maybe the day would finally turn around some. Smiling, Locke acknowledged Jack before leaving, nearly fleeing from the idea of being aproached.

"I heard about your arm," Jack told Boone.

Looking taken aback by being spoken to, Boone was startled for a moment before replying.

"Yeah," Boone said casually, "it's fine."

A blanket that had been resting around Boone's shoulders slid the slightest, and Jack caught sight of numerous cuts that were coloring Boone's left arm, looking as vicious as a burn. Jack frowned, trying to think of a case recently where he'd seen something as bad as that. At least on someone living.

"It looks like a burn."

Jack hadn't realized that Sayid followed him, now looking just as concerned as Jack.

"It's not," Boone insisted, blushing a little at the attention the wound was getting.

"Can you get me some water?" Jack asked Sayid.

"Sure," Sayid offered, turning to leave.

"Hey," Jack called back, remembering his original reason for coming up the beach, "would you mind getting some for Kate too?"

Smiling, Sayid left. Boone watched Jack, confussed.

"What was that all about?" He inquired, smirking.

Jack attempted to look innocent, cheeks turning a dark color of pink.

"Nothing," he lied, turning back to Boone's arm.

Crossing his good arm over his chest, Boone grinned.

"Kate's pregnant," Jack admited, looking Boone in the eye, as if challenging him.

"Seriously?"

It was the first time he'd seen Boone look truly happy in weeks. Of course, it was also the first time he'd seen Boone in weeks, aside from the funeral.

Jack grinned.

"Yeah."

"Nice going," Boone said with a snort, and Jack laughed. "She didn't kick you out, did she?"

He looked around, searching for Kate.

"_She_ didn't," Jack said, voice falling as he remembered how he was ganged up on that morning.

Boone didn't ask, and Jack was grateful. Jack used the silence to examine Boone's wound, which had to hurt more than he let on. Maybe Boone was just in some kind of shock.

"It _is_ yours, right?" Boone spoke up suddenly.

Jack looked up at him quickly, feeling like someone had just stabbed him in the heart. He stared at him before finally accepting the question.

"Yeah," Jack said casually, shaking it off. Of course the baby was his. Kate loved him, unless he was missing something. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Embarrased, Boone looked like he regreted ever speaking up. Jack tried to ignore the question, hating that it was bothering him so much, as he continued to tend to Boone's wound.

"Because we all heard what happened with Kate and Sawyer."

Boone hissed in pain as Jack pulled the tape he'd been wrapping around Boone's arms accidently too tightly, and Jack dropped everything, telling Boone to hold on as he dashed across the beach. He found Kate in their tent, playing with the sand that served as a floor.

"We have to sleep there tonight," Jack reminded her lightly as he stepped in, deciding it best not to startle her with the question just yet.

Kate looked up at him, eyes far away as she gave him a half-hearted smile. Despite his comment, she went back to digging in the sand. Sitting down next to her, Jack was surprised at the relief that came from being off his feet and, crossing his legs, he let a finger trail the sand below. He waited a few moments before clearing his throat, partially wanting to drag out time as long as possible. If Boone was right, God forbid, if he was right, then his life would be over the moment he found out. He knew it. Jack felt angry at the thought...Sawyer wouldn't want to be a father. He wouldn't want the responsibility that Jack was willing to take, despite how the same thing turned out for him a few years ago. No matter how much he changed, Jack couldn't see Sawyer putting his heart into it. But Jack knew that he had to find out, so, taking a deep breath, he spoke up.

"How long has it been since you slept with Sawyer?"

Jack's eyes danced to hers, turning dark with dread and misery. Confussed, Kate's eyes met his, and she too swallowed.

"Two weeks," she whispered, clearing her throat in attempts to speak up, "maybe three-" she shook her head, "why does it matter?"

She turned back to him, waiting for his response. But Jack was too thrilled to explain, knowing Boone's theory was proven impossible. He kissed Kate, hardly giving her time to respond before he stood, grinning.

"Jack, what-" Kate watched him, looking slightly hurt, though more confussed.

"Nothing," Jack said happily, "it's nothing." He stopped, noticing her face, still fallen with its sad features as it possessed when he came in. Knealing down, Jack came eye to eye with her, studying Kate in concern. "You okay?"

She stared at him for a moment and then, as if she didn't hear him, quickly replied.

"Yeah," she assured, "I'm great."

But she didn't sound too assuring. Jack knew that look, something was bothering her, but he also knew that she wouldn't tell him until she was ready.

"Boone's arm is messed up," Jack informed her as she went back to her sandpile she'd been making, "I kinda left him, so...I should go. Unless there was something-"

"No," Kate interrupted, more quickly than he would've liked, "it's your job. Go."

He stared after her a minute, trying to break down the comment. It was shot at him, like an accusation. As if he needed another one that day. Once they'd finally reached their tent, finding it the only safe place where they could truly be alone, they hadn't talked much, mutually agreeing they needed the silence. Like they'd earned each other's company. Now Jack was feeling otherwise, like there was something they should've been discussing. But Kate didn't offer him anymore, and Jack knew she wouldn't, regardless of how long he stood there. So, turning, Jack made his way back up the beach.

(space)

After Jack left, Kate felt more alone than ever that day. She'd only been listening to part of what he'd been saying, but she found herself surprised at how easily Jack was able to bring up her former affair. Almost as easily as everyone had been able to turn against them. Kate had never felt so betrayed...these were people she actually concidered friends.

"Bloody rock," someone mumbled miserably from outside, cursing under their breath.

Curious, Kate got to her feet, only slightly surprised to find Charlie outside the tent(the accent had given him away). Rubbing a sore toe, Charlie blushed at being caught.

"Sorry, I..." He trailed off, leaving Kate to draw her own conclusions.

Not only did he looked embarrased at being caught by the same person he'd turned against earlier, Charlie looked downright _afraid_.

"Just passing," Charlie explained nervously.

"It's fine," Kate told him hoarsly, resting a hand on the pole of the tent.

Charlie's eyes avoided her, looking for an easy escape. Kate wanted to scream: _Just turn and walk away!_ It didn't stop him before.

"Look," Charlie said, sighing, "I'm sorry."

Kate blinked. She wondered now if Charlie hadn't tripped over a convenient rock, but had done it to purposly draw her attention. She wondered if someone could truly be sorry after such a betrayel. Right now, Kate was too angry to think of forgivness.

"Yeah?" She snapped harshly. "Well Jack's done a helluva lot for you, for Claire. He saved your life! What right do you have to turn away like that?"

Startled at her outburst, Charlie didn't answer. She pushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, sighing. Truthfully she didn't want to stay mad at Charlie or Claire, if not for selfish reasons- Claire would be amazing help when it came to the baby. If she hadn't already signed the petition to vote them of the island.

"I'm sorry," Kate offered, partially meaning it, "it's just..." she trailed off. She'd never opened up to anyone besides Jack, except for maybe Sawyer, and in the past, Tom. She didn't know how he would react, or how far she'd go. Kate truly did feel like breaking down inside, her bottled-up emotions suddenly wanting to burst and lash out. "It's hard."

Charlie's nervous expression softened into a sympathetic half-smile, and he brought a hand to her shoulder. It was odd to see the sympathetic-friend side of him, and found herself happy for Claire that she had him.

"I know," he said kindly, "I mean it though, I'm sorry, and if you ever need any help, you know-" Charlie grinned, "you know who to call."

His wink following made Kate laugh, though she was still slightly skeptical.

"Thanks," she said, "sorry, I'm just...confussed. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Who does when they're pregnant?" Charlie said. He blushed. "Not that I'd know personally, of course."

Kate rolled her eyes and then looked away. She wondered what Jack would think- or do- if he came back and found her talking to Charlie. Earlier she could practically hear thoughts of revenge going through his head.

"You shouldn't be worried though," Charlie went on, "everything's going to be fine."

Like a kid, Kate replied:

"How do you know?" feeling skeptical.

Charlie grinned.

"Because things are going to turn around," Charlie reached behind his neck, tugging on what look like the chain of a black, fake, necklace. "I can feel it."

With that he gave her a pat on the shoulder and left, leaving her more confused than before, though admitly slightly better. Instead of her previous troubles, Kate found herself wondering what the necklace was of.

(space)

When Jack looked for Kate again he didn't find her in the tent. The sand was back the way it was supposed to be, smooth, at least smooth enough to sleep on. Puzzled, Jack left the tent in a hurry, his mind fill of worry as he crossed the beach desperatly, setting aside the fact that he knew Kate wouldn't do something stupid right now like run off...especially after what just happened with Rebecca. Epsecially with the baby.

At last he found her, unsurprisingly sitting alone by the shore, knees just enough above ground so that they wouldn't get drenched by the sea. Shuddering, Jack remembered his underwater adventure, unable believe that it had just happened this morning. Nevertheless Jack smiled with relief, making his way to sit down next to her when he noticed what she was holding in her hands: a gun.

"Please tell me that's not loaded," Jack said with desperate hope, running a hand over his head. He swallowed hard, forcing himself not to lose it. Instead he waited for Kate to answer him. She didn't, only turned to him, revealing her tear-struck cheeks and sobbing appearance. Kate attempted to choke back a sob, making a desperate choking sound. Somehow this made Jack more sympathetic. Careful not to startle her, Jack sat down slowly, first reaching for the gun. Kate gasped when he tried to wrestle it out of her hands, fighting back until a spare shot flew into the crashing waves. Sobbing even harder, Kate gave up completly, letting Jack take- and fully take apart- the gun, placing it out of her reach.

He let her have her moment. He let her sit there, looking confussed, hurt, _betrayed_ that he'd do such a thing, while Jack was mirroring those very emotions. He let her sit their crying, despite Kate's strict beliefs about holding in her emotions, using those feelings now as a true cry for help. Putting herself in a position that Jack was all too familiar with personally. He'd seen it in others, in friends, in patients. Even in himself. And now he was seeing it again in the person he loved.

Then he began his job. His job in their friendship, his job in their relationship. Being what Kate needed him to be: someone who cared.

"What's this about, Kate?" He began slowly, remembering countless times he'd seen this situation played out. Someone was in depserate need of saving, and Jack had to play savior. He never really saw himself as that, but it seemed that everyone else did. That was something Jack would never understand. "Is it you or..." he swallowed, not wanting to say it. Because he was afraid it was true. "...me? What's going on, Kate?"

She looked at him like the world was crashing down on her. For the first time, Jack saw that she truly hated being there, on the island. It was taking a horrific toll on her, and it was all coming out at the worst of times. Not that it was wrong for someone to let their emotions out. It was just that Jack wasn't sure how to handle this. Though he had been through this kind of situation before, this felt so much bigger. This was _Kate_. And at the same time he felt so guilty, just because he wasn't sure what to do. Like he was cheating her out of help. Of hope.

At last Kate's mouth fell open in an incredulous, horrified, way, but not because of Jack. Because of herself.

"I can't do this," she choked out, eyes crying out in desperation. She didn't really want to do this; he knew it. "Jack, I- I can't do this."

Jack softened at her voice, so full of defeat that he could feel it flowing straight through him as she spoke. His throat felt unstable, like his lungs would collasps at any attempt of speaking. The thought almost scared him into silence. But that was ridiculous, he knew, and swallowed hard to clear the knot in his throat.

"Kate," he began tentively, "you're going to be scared...terrified of this...change." Jack made himself appear to relax a little, when in reality he was tense in his own terror. What if he'd been too late? Would she have done it? Bringing his hands to her arms, he gripped her soothingly, lightly enough to let her know he was there for her, but roughly enough to grab her attention. "But that's okay."

Shaking herself out of Jack's grip, Kate shook her head madly, as if trying to shake the emotion out of herself. She didn't even hold his gaze, or even ackwnoledge it.

"That's not it," she said, now free of sobs though tears still swelled in her eyes. Now she looked at him, meeting his eyes, forcing him to stare into her tears, almost as though she were punishing him. But for the first time, Jack didn't feel like he needed to be punished. Maybe he was wrong about that. He'd done his best to be as...normal...as possible, for Kate's sake. Maybe this was just the world's funny little way of punishing him, like always, playing tricks and games instead of just reciting a lesson. But why did he always have to be punished through someone else? Someone else he cared about?

Kate didn't offer anymore, as if that explained it all, and Jack wondered if he was supposed to say something now. The last thing he wanted to do was sit in silence. He only would when she truly needed it, not when it was just excusing the most important thing: getting her through this. So he swallowed, preparing himself to ask the question that wasn't more for him as it was for her:

"What were you going to do with the gun, Kate?"

He watched her in all of concern and confussion, both dreading and silently anticipating the answer. He needed to know what was wrong with her, what this was truly about. Though it was his job, Jack hated seeing people suffer. Ironically, it was also his job to help those people.

"I want you to kill it," she whispered, trembling uncontrollably.

Jack's breath caught itself in his throat. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, throat suddenly dry. He stared at her for a moment, eyes thrashing, trying to decide on the correct emotion he was supposed to be sending out. On instinct, Jack wanted to yell. Tell her that was selfish. Tell her that she'd be killing herself as well. But he supposed she already knew that, and that was the worst part. At the same time he wanted to bring her close to him, hold her, tell her that he didn't want that. Which was selfish in itself. But surely, surely, she didn't really want that? Jack could remember Sarah being nervous about being a mother, downright panicing, but never this bad.

Well, except for the time she left him.

And that was the main reason Jack was feeling angry. Not only did he not want Kate to do this, but he admitidly didn't want Kate to do this for him. He couldn't handle being hurt again. But Jack knew it'd be inappropriate to voice these thoughts, and he focused on the idea of Kate killing herself...he couldn't even imagine it. All of a sudden it was like the idea of living, of living with him, was hell. And all Jack knew was that he couldn't let that happen.

"I keep telling you -telling myself!- that everything's fine," Kate went on with a sob, "but it's not. It's not, Jack! And it's not because I'm afraid or _nervous_-" she glared at him with accusing eyes, as if she had been reading his mind, "I'm a criminal." She breathed out the word in a sigh, as if she were speaking something she'd been holding in for awhile, releashing herself from the burden of it. "I'm a fugitive and a mother." Kate shook her head at the very idea of it. "I can't mix the two, Jack. I'll never really be free. I'm supposed to be in _prison_!"

The words hit him like a punch of reality. Now he understood. It was like a motherhood crisis...like she was coming back from a vacation and realized the work she had to return to. The stress. The reality. But the truth was that this was no island vacation. This was life. And the sooner they started treating the place like home, the sooner- in theory- it would become easier to stay. But even the monster didn't factor into Kate's obliviousness to the idea. It was the fact that she didn't have to run anymore.

"That doesn't matter here, Kate," Jack said, hating that way that he sounded absolutly _annoyed_ by her confession. He didn't want to come off too strong, push her even more over the edge.

"Yes it does!" Kate cried, seeming oblivious to the tears streaming down her cheeks. It was as if though she didn't care anymore. Jack hated seeing Kate like this, because it just made that thought seem so much more real. She'd really lost it. Now she was becoming as insane as he was. "I've done bad things, Jack." For a moment she just sat there, shaking her head, as if this was all so impossible to be true. That something this bad shouldn't happen, that an innocent child shouldn't be brought into her world. Like there was no such thing as redemption. "I can't bring that into someone's life! I can't go on like this...I just- I can't."

Unlike most feel after they confessed, relieved of their sins, Kate just stared at him, horrified of herself. She didn't look down, ashamed or embarrased, but instead they just met eyes. There was no denial involved, just acceptance that this was how life was. There was no changing, no hope. Anything he'd ever offered her before didn't matter in the thick of it. Jack had never been the one to believe this. He lived his life trying to impress his father, hoping that someday things would get better. Knowing someday that they'd have to get better. Because nothing was worse than the present, and nothing was as haunting as the past. And one thing Jack had wanted was to offer this hope to Kate.

"We're not perfect." Jack offered, looking up from where he had been gazing at the ground, thinking, "but we have to do this. We can't give up. Not yet, not after all we've been through. We have to prove them wrong."

Only Jack would've noticed the graceful way Kate's expression changed, pyshically mirroring the emotion that shook her very thoughts, sliding not into complete denial, but something like disapointment. She met his eyes, as if she knew he didn't feel the same way. She didn't want to change that, but she wanted him to see her side of the story.

"Who are we trying to prove wrong?"

Jack didn't answer. He'd spent most of his life trying to prove people wrong, insisting to himself that he would amount to something. That things weren't as bad as they seemed. But Kate was right, who were they supposed to prove wrong? It seemed like it should be someone. God? Fate? Who was to blame? But then again, who got the credit? Who got the credit for bringing the two of them, complete opposites from their own troubled, tortured, worlds, together, while at the same time placing every obstacle imaginable in between them? Maybe this was never supposed to hapen. That's why everything always went wrong.

But yet, being together had always seemed right. Like they _were_ trying to prove someone wrong.

Kate didn't talk again after that. Respecting her silence this time, Jack tried to force his mind elsewhere, while keeping a watch on Kate. He didn't want to think about 'what ifs', as the mind always did after critical situations. He just wanted to be grateful that those 'what ifs' didn't happen. That's when he remembered the gun. There it sat as he turned to it, laying on the ground in a haunting way, the parts facing towards him. Mocking him. Mocking his mistakes, his failures. And just like everyone else, never showing what he acheived. That could've been the same gun he used in a battle against the Others, saving lives. The very same gun Kate wanted to take her's with. Funny how life worked.

"Where'd you get the gun?" Jack asked, more forcefully than he meant, though he spoke carefully. Swallowing, this time he looked up to Kate when she didn't answer. "Where'd you get the gun, Kate?"

She didn't waste a moment, as if knowing she couldn't escape the confession. Slowly, with slight pride, Kate said:

"Sayid gave it to me."

Jack breathed in a quick breath, taking in what she said. Then, without warning, he jumped to his feet.

"I'll kill him," Jack announced, his hands, though still sore from the slits on his palms, clenching into fist.

He could feel himself growing heated with anger, and already he was storming up the beach, ignoring Kate's protesting stares behind him. By the time he reached Sayid, who had unsually yet to leave the beach, she thought to say:

"It's not what you think!"

But already Jack had spun Sayid around to face him, though immediatly shoving him back. Attention was drawn to him, and he could hear Mitchell in his head, using this as just another excuse to point out his failures.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Jack shouted, putting only a few inches of space between he and Sayid.

Sayid's reply was somewhat of a smirk, as if he'd expected this. Just thinking that earlier he was grateful for the way Sayid seemed to understand everything made him even more furious, betrayed. When Sayid still didn't answer, Jack pulled back a sore fist, but it was caught before he could throw it forward. Sayid never flinched. He found that he was breathing hard, though all he'd done was run up the beach. Pausing, Jack knew it was Kate who stopped him before he turned around. Their eyes connected, and everyone watched as Kate held his fist in the air, squeezing it tightly as if making sure it would stay there. Her eyes were intense with dead emotion as she stared at him, and during that moment Jack was getting the same feeling that she had just completly given up.

"He gave it to me for protection," Kate said coldly, accusingly. "Because we don't even have a gun."

"Yes we do," Jack protested without thinking. They did have a gun, but with very few bullets. There were only a handful of bullets left for the four guns that'd survived their half a year on the island.

Her eyes narrowed in a 'we'll talk about this later' kind of way, and Jack dropped the subject. Instead he turned to Sayid, slightly embarrased that a big scene was being made out of this.

"I can protect her fine," he warned.

"I was just offering to help," Sayid replied cooly. Jack wondered, had Sayid knew what just almost happened, if he would've of spoken so lighly of it.

_I don't need it,_ almost slipped out before Jack was able to stop himself. Because he didn't want that statement to come back to haunt him. In time, they would need help. So instead Jack kept his mouth shut, and turned back to Kate in a silent "let's go". Turning on her heals, Kate walked away, uneffected by the scene, while Jack followed her, keeping his head down to avoid the stares that followed him. Subconsiously they both went back to their same spot on the beach, but before they got a chance to sit down, Kate grabbed his hand, pulling Jack towards her. Surprised, Jack hardly had time to react as she kissed him, almost as if searching for something within that kiss, before she pulled away. Once again they met eyes, and Jack still had the feeling that she was looking for something within him. Maybe some kind of reason. She looked like she wanted to apologize, but she never did. Finally she simply sat down again, drawing her knees towards her as she stared out to sea. Sitting down next to her, Jack watched her for a few moments before turning to the clouds she was watching, trying to see the picture she was seeing, as he always did.

"Hey-" he began assuringly, reaching to put an arm around her.

Shoving away, Kate spat:

"Don't talk to me."

With glaring eyes she turned back to the sea, staring at it so intensly that it looked like she was ready to murder it. Gone was the calm way Kate would spend her days by the shore, using it for an escape, grateful for its beauty and silence. Now it was a place to be angry, to let off steam.

"It's not that I wanted to kill myself," Kate said after an angry pause, "is just the baby." She shook her head, having the same disbeliving demeanor as earlier. "I don't know if I can do this. Not here." Silently, Jack was pleased to hear her say 'I don't know' instead of 'I can't. Resting her head against an arm that was thrown over her knees, Kate seemed smaller to him that Jack could ever remember her being- not in size, but in the fact that her walls were completly down now. "We're not even married."

Jack did a double-take at the last statement. The suggestion seemed like an impossible senario, though it would've been the first conclusion they'd jump to, had they been a couple off the island. He tilted his neck to the side, as if that would help make things clearer. Marrying Kate. He'd never concidered it before. But now that she brought it up, sounding a little hurt by the fact, Jack felt guilty. Then again, what was he supposed to do? Get Locke to build a wedding chapel? They were on an island. A signed document joining them together would meaning nothing.

Except maybe to the two of them.

"We could change that."

Swallowing, Jack hoped that was the right thing to say. At least it took Kate's attention off the sea, the suggestion softening her eyes, almost as though she were returning to normal.

"Of course," Jack went on when Kate didn't say anything, "we don't have any rings."

"I don't need a ring."

Turning towards her, Jack could've sworn he felt something swirling around them, like some invisible force that was giving them hope. Making things better, just like he'd always believed.

"Really?" He said lightly, glancing towards the sea, "so if I took a strand of seaweed and wrapped it around your finger, you'd marry me?"

Her expression didn't change. In fact, of anything, Kate looked insulted that he'd think differently.

"Maybe," she admited, offering him no more.

Jack was afraid to say anything else without thinking it through. It was a big proposal to make in a very risky place. Though marriage offered some kind of guarantee of companionship, such a bond could be broken so easily. Then it was truly over. Suddenly Jack found himself stuck in the past, marrying a patient and then later finding out that she was pregnant. The only thing stopping him from wondering if Sarah had an affair was the fact that everyone always said the baby(or at least the picture he was sent of her), looked exactly like him.

"It's a riddiculous idea," Kate said at last, ending their silence.

Keeping his eyes on the ground, Jack nodded.

"Yeah," he agreed, "we couldn't get married here."

"Yeah," Kate echoed, a smile escaping her chapped lips, "what are we going to do, have Charlie sing and Hurley dress up as a preacher?"

Snorting, Jack nodded along in agreement.

"It's an insane idea, anyway," Kate went on, completly dismissing the suggestion, "besides, what if we get rescued?" Suddenly Kate's face fell, as if just realizing something for the first time. Repeating herself, the amusment in Kate's voice was gone, replaced by a dark sense of fear. She turned to Jack, truly looking for an answer this time. "What if we get rescued, Jack?"

Jack looked away. He didn't want to think about it. One thing Kate had been right about was the fact that she was a wanted criminal, and nothing would change that. Though he didn't want to rid everyone of hope, it seemed like the only way this would work was if they weren't saved. In its crazy little way, the island had already done that for them. It had its horrors, its obstacles, and Jack hated the place more than he'd ever hated anything in his life. But suddenly, at that moment, what Locke said to him months before was starting to make sense:

_I looked into the eye of the island, and what I saw was beauty._

"We'll just...hope for the best," Jack said quietly, remembering to answer her at the last moment.

He'd hope things were finally calming down, and for old times sake they could just sit there, appreciating each other's company and grateful for the moment of peace. But Kate didn't seem ready to give up yet.

"Even if we do stay here," Kate continued, "what are we going to do? I can't feed a baby mangos or coconuts. How will we know what it's allergic to?"

"It'll be fine," Jack assured, "we'll take it one day at a time."

"How will we teach it?" Kate went on, ignoring him. "It's not like someone packed a bag full of picture books and flashcards."

"Luckily, those things don't matter here" Jack pointed out, a little amused at the things Kate was worried about, though he himself went through the same worrying everyday, "when the baby comes, he'll be fine."

Suddenly Kate stopped, turning to him with a smile playing on her lips.

"What?" Jack asked quizzically.

Kate grinned.

"You said he."

Shrugging, Jack didn't think too much on it, though Kate seemed to be beaming with amusment and excitment.

"What makes you so sure it'll be a boy?" She inquired, eyeing him with intrest.

Jack took a moment to concider it.

"Well," he began thoughtfully, "I've already had a daughter, so I figured this time it'd only be fair for it to be a boy."

Grinning to herself, Kate shook her head.

"It doesn't work that way," she argued, pleased with herself, "you see, you've already have a daughter, but I haven't." She smiled proudly. "So it'll be a girl."

Frowning, Jack tried to work his way around her theory. With a grin still on her lips, Kate nudged him.

"Don't worry," she said with mock sympathy, "third times the charm. Maybe next time."

Jack raised an eyebrow.

"Next time?" He inquired.

Shrugging, Kate just turned away. A pause signified a change of tone to their few more pleasant moments, and Kate grew thoughtful again.

"I'm sorry that guy went off at you like that," she said, this time with true sympathy, "you didn't deserve it."

Again, Jack just shrugged. And again he let her have her silence, though he would've rather kept talking, change the subject. He found himself really wanting to move on, to speed through the day as quickly as possible. But as they sat by the incoming tide the idea seemed impossible, for with each welcoming wave came not even a full minute. They could sit there forever, listening to the waves crash to the shore, and it'd never stop. Maybe that's what amazed Kate so much about the ocean. One thing that seemed to be accomplished was that Kate once again looked at peace, no longer angry, but in a state of recovery. She looked as if she wanted to say something when her hand flew to her head, Kate herself wincing in pain. Jack's hand was immediatly reaching out to her in concern.

"I'm fine," she insisted, knocking his hand away. Slowly, she began to get to her feet. "I think I'm gonna go lay down."

"Here-" Jack began, reaching up to help Kate stand, ready to launch into an excuse to come with.

Stopping, Kate stared him into pausing himself. She eyed him, looking suddenly tired and worn out. Bags circled Kate's eyes, not bothered to be hidden by makeup, from nights of her own nightmares. Finally she laid eyes on him, smiling a little.

"No offense Jack," Kate began lightly, "but we're not going to make it through the next nine months with you following me around like a puppy." She grinned. "Who knows, I might just get the habbit of turning around and slapping you."

Jack couldn't help but to grin himself. She surprised him again with a kiss, this time letting it linger as they kissed a second time, and Jack was just wrapping his arms around her when she pulled away, a smile playing on her lips.

"What?" Jack protested.

"Let's wait nine months before there's a next time," Kate requested with a grin.

He rolled his eyes but didn't argue, Kate's hand brushing against his as she walked away. Jack watched as she went, like a proud parent on their child's first day of school. Jack quickly shook himself out of it.

"Well, well, well."

Somehow, Jack found himself grinning again, even blushing at Sawyer's voice, reoccuiped with its Southern drawl, sounding happier than he had all day. Sawyer was pleased with himself, and he knew why: he finally had an excuse to torture Jack with his jokes and sarcasm again. Turning around, Jack watched the ground as Sawyer approached him.

"I don't know if I should congradulate ya or send you to confession."

Smirking, Sawyer grasped Jack's hand in a firm shake, and like Boone, remarked:

"Nice going."

Jack shook his head, cheeks turning a bright color of pink as he grinned.

"Though I hope you're not planning on having that kid around me," Sawyer warned, "I'll stick that thing right back where it came from."

Rolling his eyes, Jack said: "I'm sure Kate'll love that."

"Yeah," Sawyer snorted, "well she sure as hell ain't holdin' my hand during the labor."

"But we were depending on it!" Jack teased. "I promised her."

"And that's one promise you're breaking," Sawyer said. "Course, I wouldn't mind seein' it."

Jack raised an eyebrow.

"What, the birth?" He asked quizzically.

"No," Sawyer said with a laugh "the her turning around and slapping you part. What the hell was that about anyway?"

Sighing, Jack noticed the gun was still laying in the sand, and he didn't need Sawyer to tell him he saw it as well. He bent down and picked up the weapon, gazing at it as he spoke:

"You don't want to know."

Jack quickly put the gun away, clearing his throat to signal a subject change.

"Was there something you needed?" Jack asked, rushing the conversation, though he didn't exactly know why. "Is Rebecca okay?"

That seemed to calm Sawyer down a little, and his expression hardened.

"She's fine," Sawyer replied gruffly, as though it was some big secret.

Jack nodded, not saying anything. Looking around, he wondered what he should do. For the first time in a long time, Jack found himself almost..._bored_. And it was actually a nice feeling. He had Kate to worry about, yes, and then his own mental state to deal with, but for the moment, there was no drama to deal with. As long as he could avoid everyone else.

"So," Sawyer spoke up, casual sounding, like a teenager, "about that guy. _Mitchell._ He's an asshole."

Jack snorted.

"You're putting it lightly," he commented.

"Well, with the kid on the way, I figured I should cut back language," Sawyer said, "it'll save me a lecture from mommy dearest. And a punch or two. Kinda like a killin' two birds with one stone thing."

"What about Aaron?" Jack inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Claire ain't followin' me around, practically begging for me to adopt the guy," Sawyer pointed out.

Jack frowned.

"Yes she does," he said, confussed.

"I was talkin' about Charlie," Sawyer grinned. He punched Jack in the arm. "Don't worry, I have a feeling she wants to keep ya."

He winked, and Jack gave him an uncertain smile. Surely it wouldn't get that bad, would it? Of course, that was only Sawyer trying to mess with his mind.

Sawyer glanced around the beach.

"Sorry Pa," he spoke up with causual wit, "but I've got a get back to my girl. Don't worry though, I won't be a minute past curfew."

Laughing at his own joke, he slapped Jack's shoulder in a goodbye, shaking his head as he walked away. It wasn't until he was gone that Jack realized Sawyer hadn't come straight out with a congradulations or apology for not stepping up earlier. Though, like Kate, Sawyer had never been the one to come directly out with something. It was one of the things they had in common. Shuddering, Jack tried not to think about that. Once again, he just wanted to be grateful the 'what ifs' didn't happen. Another realization hit him as he turned back to the tent Kate was assumingly asleep in: everything he wanted seemed to come to him, though it had its funny way of doing so. Lessons came down hard, some he didn't even deserve to learn, but in the end, things did seem to turn out okay. It was the same belief he had as a kid, and Jack found himself more grateful than ever that it still seemed to be working for him.

Author's Notes: Thanks so much for the reviews! You guys rock!

Coming up next, on "In the End":

A little less conversation...oh wait, I lied. A lot of conversation. Someone comes back, someone...well, you'll see.

Thanks again!

Until next time...

October Sky


	37. Rest In Peace

In the End

Chapter Thirty-Seven

**Disclaimer:** "A Rush of Blood To the Head" was written and performed by Coldplay.

**Chapter Thirty-Seven:** Rest In Peace

Waves crashed against his feet as he walked. Jack felt like an idiot, wearing shoes as he walked the shore, a shallow tide wipping around his ankles as he went. For awhile he ran, running the opposite direction of the beach for what felt like miles. Now, exhausted from both a lack of sleep and the run, Jack settled for a walk. Planning to check up on Kate, Jack headed back towards camp, already able to see people going about their day, perfectly willing to ignore him as he approached. Not even noticing he was coming. So he decided to ignore them back. His mind was still reeling from the events of the day, a walk had been just what he needed. But he couldn't forget the way everyone turned away from them, just like that. Still, he couldn't help but to stop when someone called out from nearby.

"Hello, Jack."

The unfamiliar voice itself made him stop. He recognized it, no doubt, the woman's calm voice unmistankingly belonged to Rose, but he couldn't remember seeing her around for awhile. Trying and failing to manage a smile, Jack settled for a simple blank face.

"Rose," Jack nodded, sounding surprised.

She looked up to him, that concerned looked of hers Rose was always acustomed to having. Frowning, she spoke up again:

"Is something wrong?" She asked, studying his demeanor, all of angry and exhausted. Sweat soaked half of his shirt from the run; he looked liked he'd been staring face up into a rainstorm.

"Yeah," Jack replied with light sarcasm, "Kate's pregnant and the whole island's turned against me."

"But part of it was always against you," Rose pointed out. Jack managed a grim smile. "Sit down, you look like you could use a break."

Hesitating, Jack looked around the camp. He had planned on checking up on Kate, but like she said, she needed her space... With a sigh, Jack sat down, but the sigh wasn't so much irritation as exhaustion. He really was tired. Having not slept peacfully in days, a run was probably the last thing he needed. His eyes seemed to never be able to stay open, especially when he was alone. So part of Jack was actually grateful for a conversation with Rose, and when he sat down he sighed a little again, relieved to be off his feet.

"Thanks," Jack said, breaking the silence between them.

Rose didn't reply. Slightly curious, Jack turned to her, watching, puzzled, as Rose simply stared out to sea...smiling. Just when he was about to ask her what she had to be so happy about, Rose answered for him:

"I've always loved the ocean," Rose explained. She was the only truly happy person Jack had seen for awhile. There were people like Sawyer and Rebecca, who had a reason to be happy- they had been brought back together; and then there was he and Kate, who were just happy to make it through each day. Then there was Rose, who seemed to just be happy to be happy. For no specific reason whatsoever.

"Kate does too," Jack say, staring down at the sand.

While Rose smiled even wider, as if that made her happier, but Jack grew more distant, becoming slightly lost in his thoughts. Coming back at once, Jack found himself not thinking about their most recent encounter, but other times he found Kate by the ocean, just standing there, smiling at it like it held some magic secret to peace. Jack, however, had always had mixed feelings about the ocean. When they'd first crashed, having the ocean stretched out in front of them made rescue seem closer, when it was really miles, lifetimes, away. But now, when all hope for rescue was basically lost, Jack could see why the sea seemed so welcoming to these two people. It was more calming to look at, possesing no dark creatures, like the jungle. Or at least they thought. Still heavy on his mind was the black spot he found and that hatch with the cyclone.

"She's scared, I think," Jack commented, with no real reason. Suddenly he felt like talking to someone, and who better than Rose, who certainly wasn't turning him away, and who certainly wouldn't go telling others whatever it was he had to say?

"Why shouldn't she be?" Rose inquired, glancing towards him. "Honey, when my sister was pregnant with her first child, she was a nervous wreck, swearing up and down everyday for nine months that she'd never go through that agian."

"And now?" Jack asked.

"Married with three, beautiful, children," Rose smiled, "and she doesn't regret a day of it."

The statement assured Jack a little, and he found himself relaxing into the conversation.

"What about her husband?" Jack asked with a small smile, forcing the question through embarrasment.

Rose never stopped smiling.

"Don't worry," she assured, "you'll be fine. You just need a little faith."

Jack's heart leaped at the word. It felt so completly foriegn, something that he never expected to hear of again. Something that he never thought imaginable to be heard of under the circumstances.

"Faith?" Jack nearly spat, shaking his head. "How the hell am I supposed to have _faith_?"

Rose turned to him, more serious this time.

"In nine months you're going to have a beautiful boy or girl, and you don't know why you should have anything faith?" Rose inquired.

She sounded like he personally insulted her, and Jack suddenly felt like he needed to fix this, and quickly. But he really didn't want to correct himself. With all that had happened over the past months, Jack had become blind to faith; the only kind he possessed was the hope of something better to come. He supposed that had to count for something, but religion wasn't something he was about to become a slave to. It just seemed unfair in this place. Sighing, Jack decided the best way out of this would just leave it at that, and he began to turn back to Rose.

"I should go check on-"

But when he turned, there was no one there. Jack blinked and looked around, but Rose was no where in sight. There was no sign of her, not even a footprint.

"Rose?" He asked to no one in particular.

"You're going a bit nutty, if you ask me," Charlie answered for him from nearby. A strum of a guitar was heard following, and Charlie began to play a couple of measures of a song Jack didn't know. "But don't worry, it's expected."

He grinned, and Jack wondered if Charlie suddenly suffered some kind of memory loss, like Claire. Jack found that he was standing now, with Charlie assuming he was listening.

"Glad to hear it," Jack muttered bitterly.

Charlie stopped playing, seeing that something was wrong. With a sigh he looked up at Jack, squinting to block out the sun.

"Look, Mate," Charlie began, "I'm sorry."

Jack didn't answer. He hated to sound shallow, but sorry didn't feel good enough. Jack didn't know what was worse, the way everyone turned their backs on them, or the way they were able to do so so easily.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be turned against?" Jack shot, remembering that Charlie, specifically, had spoken out against him.

"I know," Charlie said, "I'm sorry."

He looked down to his guitar, as if still thinking about the subject, but not feeling the need to share his thoughts with Jack. Jack waited, assuming he'd speak up again.

"You want to play?" Charlie asked suddenly, holding up the instrument.

Jack raised an eyebrow. Charlie never so much as let someone touch his guitar case. He took a step back, then a step forward, remembering that he should answer.

"Seriously?" He finally said, finding nothing else to say.

Charlie shrugged. He looked more like a kid that was being forced to play with a neighbor than sincere, but Jack didn't question him. Instead he sat down, and Charlie carefully lowered his guitar into Jack's lap, looking pained at the parting with the instrument.

"Put your right hand here," Charlie instructed, though he himself moved Jack's hand to sit against the strings of the guitar. "And your left here." Placing his fingers on random spaces against the first few frets, Jack wondered if he was even positioned to strum a real chord. When Jack hesistated, Charlie forced a smile and eyed him. "Go ahead."

The sound the strum made was painful, to say the least. Jack wasn't even sure if it was a real sound. Strumming the guitar more roughly than he should've, the chord produced sounded like Jack had dropped a stack of bricks onto a keyboard with a guitar sound effect on. Charlie shuddered a little at the sound.

"Well, you can't be good at everything," he offered with a shrug, "sorry, Mate."

Not responding, Jack stared down to the guitar. He remembered Alex saying something about some record deal she had with her boyfriend- the reason they'd moved to New York in the first place. Assuming she had her guitar with her while traviling, Jack wondered that, if he looked, he'd find it washed up on shore somewhere. But, like Jack himself, he remembered Alex mentioned being a good deal better at playing piano then guitar. The coincidence almost seemed eerie.

"It's probably out of tune," Jack defended smartly, despite this. Charlie glared.

"Hey!" He exclaimed, reaching out for the instrument. "Don't talk about her like that!" Jack rolled his eyes. "Give it here."

"I'm sorry," Jack offered half-heartily, "really."

Charlie restled the guitar out of his hands anyway, glaring as he took hold of it.

"I don't want you to hurt hit," he explained bittlerly.

Almost immediatly, Charlie began playing his guitar again, as though the two were never apart.

"Hey, I'm sorry," Charlie said, the strumming of the strings stopping suddenly; serious now, "really."

By the tone of his voice, Jack knew he was talking about the morning incident, not the guitar. Still, Jack somehow didn't feel too forgiving.

(space)

The sun burned his eyes, but Boone was eventually able to ignore it, staring up at the sky with his hands behind his head. Lounging in the sand near the shore, Boone found himself spending more time at the beach than he had in while. With the cool ocean breeze swaying around him, Boone felt like he could be at peace more than ever. Could be. But with everthing on his mind, that was proven impossible.

Nearby he heard feet shuffling against the sand, and somehow, Boone knew it was Locke without asking. He'd learned a lot about the man over the past few months, though Locke rarely revealed anything about himself of his past. Of course, Boone knew that there was a good reason for that.

"I never understood the point of sunbathing," Boone commented as Locke approached, "laying in the heat for hours, getting sunburned...never really appealed to me."

"Shannon seemed to," Locke threw in. Boone didn't respond.

Locke invited himself to sit down, chosing to sit up, crosslegged, rather than to lay back. Suddenly feeling uncofortable, Boone sat up, drawing his knees close to his chest.

"How's the arm?" Locke asked, glancing at the bandaged wrapped around Boone's injured arm.

Boone shrugged.

"It'll heal."

He hadn't dared to remove the bandage to look at the wound; even Jack himself seemed stumped by the viciousness of the cuts that looked burned into his skin. But he managed to put it behind him, deciding that'd be the last of the hatch he'd allow himself to be worried about. As if reading his mind, Locke spoke up about the subject:

"Sayid tells me you're not planning on going back," Locke informed him. He didn't sound disapointed or surprised, just interested.

"I never said that," Boone defended.

"But you mean it," Locke pointed out.

Boone sighed. After all, sitting here and turning down the fact would probably earn him an early start at rebuilding the underground room in the morning. Talking himself out of it could do just that, get himself out of dealing with the hatch forever. And he wanted to. He felt that he needed to, for himself and in respect for Shannon's memory. He felt like he needed to get out there and see the world, to experience more than just the everyday stress, anger, and guilt the hatch brought, even if that would only mean seeing more of the beach.

"So what if I do?" Boone challenged. Feeling suddenly confident, Boone even looked Locke in the eye, when he wasn't sure he'd do so a few months ago. Locke was a man who seemed to demand a certain dosage of respect from anyone that found themselves in his presence.

And unlike what would've happen a few months ago, Locke was the one to look away, staring thoughtfully in front of him.

"There comes a time in ones life when a man has to make a choice," Locke began wisley. "A choice of change. Ever heard of 'The Road Not Taken'?"

"Sure," Boone shrugged. He must've studied that poem every year since sixth grade. "Robert Frost. 'Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...'"

"And I took the one less traveled by," Locke cut in with a smile. Boone just stared at him. There was a short pause before Locke dove into a long explination, though Locke's explinations never seemed to explain themselves right out. They were for you to dicipher. "Nine years ago today, my wife and daughter were killed by a drunk driver." He spoke with ease, despite the pain that came with the memory, and Boone cringed. It still wasn't easy for him to think about. "And now I'm here." He pointed at Boone. "Road less taken."

Boone stared out to sea. He was confused, but he wasn't about to let Locke see that. It was good, at least, to see that some things never changed.

"So maybe a change would be good," Locke concluded, "but that's your choice to make."

As soon as he was finished Locke got to his feet, not even bothering with a goodbye. Boone immediatly followed.

"Where're you going?" He inquired, following Locke as he began to walk away.

Stopping, Locke turned around to him.

"You're not the only one with a choice to make."

Once again, there was Locke's explination without a true explination. Quite grimly he turned, but Boone found that he wasn't going to be left alone. Locke walked off, only to reveal that Sayid had been standing behind him, smirking a little in that way he always did, as if he'd known this would happen.

"Surprise, surprise," Boone muttered under his breath.

He didn't wait for a reply. Settling back into the sand, Boone only half-expected Sayid to follow, knowing he had more respect than to just walk away from someone without warning. Just as he thought, Sayid sat down, saying nothing as he turned to the waters. But he didn't seem to be staring at the horizon, but _through_ it. It was like he was seeing a whole different sky, the sky of a color he liked, that showed him some kind of hope he wanted.

"Are you going back?" Sayid asked suddenly.

One thing Boone noticed is that Sayid wouldn't sit in silence, like some would, letting the conversation drag out to a most unbelievably awkward point. Instead, Sayid would make any excuse to keep the talk going, hardly letting there be a pause of hesitation. It was as though he never savored a moment, let he always seemed sincere when talking to you.

"I don't know," Boone sighed. It was the only truly truthful he could say. "I don't want to."

He sounded like a pouting child, but Boone didn't care. It was the truth. He really didn't want to have anything to do with the hatch, not unless it was for...

Revenge.

But he didn't see how that was possible. Laying back on his elbows, Sayid turned to look at him.

"What did Locke say?" He asked curiously.

Boone shrugged.

"Does it really matter?"

For some reason, this made Sayid smile. But then again, there was always something about independence that made one light up a bit. Sometimes it was the idea of hearing someone do something they could never accomplish themselves, or maybe it just a happiness in seeing someone grow in character. Scratching a mosqieto bite on his neck, Boone glanced up to the sun.

"Shannon used to say I needed to get out more," Boone reminised, "'How can you enjoy life locked up in a room?'"

It'd always been so easy to mock his sister, but his sentence dropped midway, his voice quietening before he could manage to finish. Letting his eyes trail out to sea, Boone found himself lost in the moment, sunk into a wave of memories, only brought out by Sayid's voice:

"She loved you," Sayid said, though he had no reason to. He was also the kind of person who would know what to say, were you to need something said to you. "If not as a boyfriend, then as a brother."

Again Boone sighed. Now that he didn't have the hatch to worry about, his mind was free to be sucked with memory, completly engulfed to the point of which it was hard to take it. The worse part was that he wasn't sure that he was ready to face it yet.

"That never seemed good enough for me," Boone admited, already jumping to his feet, "see ya around."

He walked away, Sayid never questioning him as he subconsiously headed to the jungle. It was only when he was halfway down the path that Boone remembered to turn back, running to the first place he found. Which just happened to be Shannon's grave.

Funny how things worked out that way.

(space)

Though he had every intention to eventually get up and check on Kate, Jack found himself staying by the shore, listening to Charlie play song after song. The waves crashed in a steady tide in front of them, and Jack found it hard to watch it roll in without thinking of...whatever it was...he had found underneath the sea just this morning. The bandages wrapped around his palms were now soggy with sweat, and as Charlie switched to a new song, in which he enitled "Monster In the Trees", (Charlie claimed he wasn't feeling creative at the moment; Jack didn't ask), he picked at the tape wrapped around his hands, examining the dried blood there as Charlie played on.

"Hey, Locke," Charlie greeted.

Glancing up, Jack noticed Locke's silluhete approaching. Locke gave them a smile.

"Hello," he said, returning the greeting.

"So, John," Charlie said. Jack realized what he was going to say a second to late. "Did you hear? Jack here's going to be a dad."

Locke smiled, and Jack's cheeks turned a little red.

"I did hear," Locke said, "and my best wishes to you."

"Thanks," Jack forced out, rolling his eyes at Charlie before turning away.

They were all quiet for a moment, for it looked like Locke had something he wanted to say, though he couldn't quite get it out.

"Can I ask you something, Charlie?" He finally said.

Upon not being spoken to, Jack let his mind drift away, wondering if Kate was awake yet. Still, though, he couldn't help but to overhear.

"Do you think I'm a bad guy?"

Locke asked the question with full sincerity, like he really needed an answer. Hand stopping in midair, a new kind of silence took over as Charlie's eyebrows furrowed, taken aback by not only the question, but at the sudden reapperance Locke.

"Why would I think that?" Charlie replied quickly, covering up his silence.

Not answering, Locke only grinned. Apparently that was all he needed to hear. He stood there for a moment, just smiling in an odd, almost creepy, way.

"Congradulations," he nodded in a goodbye to Jack.

Only a few footsteps later did Charlie think to say anything, just as Jack was letting his mind drift away again. He was surprised at how easily he was able to drift away, how at ease he could be. It was a nice feeling.

"Hey," Charlie said, breaking everyone away from their thoughts. Locke stopped walking away. "How come I never got a congradulations?"

"For what?" Jack asked, before Locke got a chance.

Charlie practically pouted.

"For getting off drugs!" Charlie exclaimed. "I'm clean now!"

Locke smiled again.

"That's so," he commented simply.

"Charlie," Jack began, "you didn't want anyone else to know."

This seemed to sink into Charlie, like a forgotten memory.

"Still," Charlie pouted.

"Did you ever tell Claire?" Locke asked curiously.

Somehow the question reminded Jack of how little Locke had been around lately. Locke, Boone, and Sayid, at that. It was as though they had their own camp elsewhere, maybe tending to a whole other tribe of people. Jack couldn't even begin to imagine the secrets Locke could be keeping.

"Most of it," Charlie admited. His face contorted into guilt in a pause. "Some of it..."

Laughing, Locke gave a nod of goodbye, really leaving this time without another word. Jack turned back to the sea with a half-smile on his face, though somehow he wasn't feeling as relaxed. His mind was working again, and somehow, Jack knew that he wouldn't be able to be as at ease again. Charlie was already going back to playing his guitar when Jack jumped to his feet, not questioning his departure.

"For the record," Jack said before he left, "congradulations."

Charlie stopped for a moment, as if not quite getting what he was saying.

"We were proud," he added.

This time, Charlie's face broke out into a grin.

"Hey," someone greeted behind them. Turning, Charlie and Jack found a smiling Claire approaching. Her smile ceased when she saw that it was Jack Charlie was with. "Hi."

Jack nodded, but didn't bother verbally returning the greeting. Aaron rested in Claire's arms as she stood in silence; for once the child wasn't crying. He couldn't help but to picture Kate in her place, holding their child and being just as protective of it, maybe even more.

"Can you watch Aaron?" She finally asked Charlie, purposfully avoiding Jack.

Charlie frowned, sitting his guitar down carefully in its case.

"Actually, I had something I was going to do," Charlie admited.

"What?" Claire demanded, desperate in her attempts to find someone to watch her son.

"Something..." Charlie insisted, blushing a little.

Jack didn't know if it was in his place, but he felt a little uncomfortable, saying nothing in the conversation, so he spoke up, saying the first thing that came to mind:

"I can watch him," he offered.

Eyes widening, Jack was certain that was the last thing she wanted.

"No," she said quickly, "it's okay. I can wait for Charlie."

"I might be awhile," Charlie pointed out, looking between the two, "besides, he could use the practice."

He couldn't argue with that. It wasn't like they had any parenting books lying around, and Jack hadn't exactly gotten the chance to be the best father with Cat. They really would need all the help they could get, from whomever they could get it from.

"Really, I-"

"He won't bite," Charlie insisted with a sly grin.

Claire looked around, deciding on what to do. Finally she sighed.

"Okay," she agreed relucantly, placing Aaron carefully into Jack's arms. The weight of the baby almost felt like a relief to him, and Jack smiled a little at the sight of the child in his hands. "If you need anything, or if he's hungry, or if he's-"

"Claire," Charlie said tentivily, glancing at her akwardly.

She managed a small smile.

"Just find me," she finished, smiling at Aaron, squeezing his hand before she left.

Soon both Charlie and Claire were gone and, with care, Jack eased back down to the sand. Holding Aaron close, Jack gazed down at the baby in his arms. For the first time, Jack considered that this wouldn't be the worst experience in the would. Who knew. It may actually do them good, having something that really connected them, bringing them together.

(space)

Claire had lied. Well, she was planning on taking a walk, being by herself for a moment or two, but once Charlie mentioned going somewhere, she had to investigate. She followed him to the jungleline, heart beating fast as they crossed a short path into another part of the beach, a more solitary one. Sawyer's camp was somewhere near here, but he wasn't around. She supposed Charlie was grateful for that. As Charlie got down to his knees, Claire leaned back against a tree, closing her eyes as she waited for something to happen. It wasn't as though Charlie wasn't entilted to his privacy- he was- but he rarely ventured off onto his own, from what she knew, especially this far out. She didn't know what she expected to hear, but Claire was admitedly surprised when she heard the beginning of some kind of prayer being begun:

"...it's been six months since my last confession," Charlie was saying, his head bowed slightly to the ground. If it was a confession, she didn't know why Charlie was bowed down like a prayer, but she didn't asked. She had never been the one to understand religion. She assumed it made him simply feel comfortable, especially since apparently he hadn't done anything like this in awhile. "But it's not my fault, honest!" She had to smile at Charlie's wording. "I crashed on this island...I'm sure you know all about that. But I met this girl. And she's nice...really nice. And she has a son...Aaron. I've been help taking care of him, and it's just been weird, you know?" Peering around the tree, Claire saw that Charlie had his hands on his knees now, like he was in a simple, comfortable, conversation. "I just thought I should say something, because it's not so bad...aside from the monster who's out to eat us. But, I mean, other than that, it's been pretty okay."

She slipped away then, deciding she owed Charlie his privacy. Once a safe distance from him, Claire stopped to reflect. Maybe it hadn't really been so bad. What would've happened had she not gotten on the plane? She would've given her baby away or, possibly worse, raised it with no real help whatsover. Here she had more than enough help- the bulk of it from Charlie himself. Maybe he was right. Things hadn't really been so bad for them. Besides, of course, the monster who was out to eat them.

(space)

Night came in slow timing, messing with Jack's mind like the ticking of a clock. He was at the caves now, finally making that stop for water. The second half of the day had been rather uneventful, which Jack was much too grateful for. He'd almost regretted coming to the caves now. At first, Jack thought it'd be a good place to be at some kind of peace with himself, a place full of memories he could have closure with, but all he felt was a haunting feeling. As he refilled yet another bottle of water, Jack tried not to look around the place. Once there, Jack found himself desperatly attempting to put himself somewhere else, not wanting to think about the jungle outside, the cave in which he and Kate used to live in, or the place of residency in general. But when he'd straighten up, Jack couldn't help but to glance around; and in his mind he could still see everyone- Charlie and Claire randomly lounging against a wall, Alex and Danielle keeping to the back corners of the cave. It was all coming alive again, and Jack was having trouble convincing himself that it was real. And he was so desperatly trying to do so that he hadn't heard the footsteps coming behind him, only turning when hearing a familiar sob. A really familiar sob. It caught him in a jolt, and as Jack turned, he found himself expecting the worse. A ghost, maybe, standing there watching him.

But it was only Danielle, hardly able to control her tears as she stood there, more helpless than he'd ever see her; though her gun was still routinely hanging from its strap on her shoulder. She just looked at him, and Jack knew that she was asking something out of him. Help. Closure. Both. Something had brought her back, and Jack remembered to speak at the last moment.

"Danielle?" He asked carefully. Of course, she didn't answer. "Danielle..."

Reaching out to her, Jack immediatly reached for her gun. Somehow, he knew what she was thinking. The gun had always seemed so innocent, as it always sat there, on her arm, but now it had a horrific sense of familiarity about it. Surprisingly, Danielle let Jack take the gun off her shoulders. He sat it aside, bringing his hands back up to her.

"It's okay," he began.

"I..."

Danielle trailed off, breaking into a silent fit of sobs. Jack brought his hands to her shoulders, which were shaking at the effort to cry.

"It's okay," Jack said again. He didn't want to think about what she might've almost done, or the reason she had fled from the camp in the first place.

"I'm sorry," Danielle choked out.

Her eyes danced around in pain, trying to meet Jack's, but failing miserably. She shook under his grip, unable to control her tears. Dejavu hit Jack in a violent wave of memories, and Jack wondered why he was always the one put in this position, always the one people came to for help. Because at the same time, it was always Jack who needed help.

"Don't be sorry," Jack protested, "_I'm_ sorry."

"No-"

Suddenly Jack himself began to shake a little, feeling a need to shout, to let out everything he'd been holding in, things that had built up in his head even after confessing to Kate just days earlier.

"I tried to save her," Jack went on, desperatly wanting Danielle to listen to him. Now he felt like he needed some kind of closure. "I did, and I couldn't. And now...it's done." Glancing around momentarily, Jack could've sworn he heard a guitar in the background, a distant voice trying to speak with him...he shook himself out of it. It was all in his head. Over and over again Jack would tell himself that, determined that someday he'd believe it. "I'm sorry."

A shadow appeared as another figure stepped into the room. Looking up more quickly than he should, Jack again half-expected a ghost to be standing there, for his dreams to mix in with reality. He was almost expecting that to happen. But it was only Locke.

"Sorry," Locke greeted simply.

The word didn't seem to fit in with the conversation that had been going on, though it had been repeated many times. Jack was about to ask him to go, or to at least give them a moment, but before he could, Danielle turned to him, staring at Locke in the same desperate way she had watched Jack. Maybe he wasn't the only one she was seeking closure from. Straightening up, Jack sighed, trying to pull himself together.

"I'm guessing you want to take it from here," he said, part of him feeling like a burden had been taken from him; a strange sense of relief. But really, he knew he didn't feel that way at all. Those kind of feelings never lasted.

Without a goodbye, Jack stepped outside the caves, both forgetting the water and the rifle that was still in his hands. It was only when he was a little ways down the path- now really trying to put his mind someplace else, somewhere where a monster couldn't get to him, or anything else- when he noticed it. Stopping, Jack stared down at the gun in his hands, staring deeply into it, as though he held something he wanted. And badly. It was the same feeling Kate had that morning, and probably a simular one that Danielle felt just moments ago. It was a feeling that could never really be helped, and sometimes not stopped. When one wasn't conscience of oneself, losing themselves in everything they didn't have, everything lost, that feeling of control also became lost.

But luckily, Jack caught himself. Snapping out of it, a range of anger engulfed him as Jack threw the gun to the side, crying out in frustration at what he had been feeling, thinking. It felt like a betrayel, and he was so angry that, before he could catch himself this time, Jack threw his fist into the nearest tree, bringing it back drenched with blood. And all he could think about as he finally walked away, was that this was yet another wound.

(space)

Locke didn't no what to say, at first. He wondered if Danielle was expecting him to mention something in particular, and he wondered what that was. When she just kept watching him, helplessly shaking her head with tears streaming down her face, Locke finally moved to do something. He'd never seen her like this. Even after Alex's death, her version of a breakdown seemed to be just building a silent wall around her. It was up to you to notice if something was wrong. At last he held a hand out to her, approaching her with care.

"I'm sorry..." Danielle whispered in the same way she did to Jack.

Her tone made Locke shiver in the slightest.

"Don't be sorry," Locke said to her, desperation biting at his words. He wanted to really talk to her, tell her everything that had been going on. Telling her that if anyone were at fault, it was he. "If anyone were to be sorry, it's me. If there's one thing I learned today-" he took a deep breath, not realizing, at the time, he was using her needs for his own confession, "it's that things don't turn out the way you want them to. Ever. But somehow, you still live on. You still have to go on. You just have to hope that things'll get better, even though you know they won't-" all through this Danielle had stopped crying, her sobs turning into desperate attempts to speak up. Failed desperate attempts. "And there's no real lesson, there's no real moral of the story. The moral of the story is...that there isn't a moral of the story. And you just have to go on."

At last Danielle's sobs stopped, and her senses seemed to clear up with Locke's last words. She even smiled a little, with a sympathetic touch.

"I'd have never thought I'd meet anyone who hates life as much as I do," Danielle commented lightly.

Locke managed to return her smile.

"And yet we still go on."

Looking down to the ground, Danielle hid her smile as her hair fell into her face, regaining her natural appearance. She stopped shaking, and all seemed calm again.

"What do you say we get out of here?" Locke offered hopefully, the quite atmosphere of the abandoned caves getting to him. He felt as though he were in a place of haunting, some kind of graveyard of spirits. He'd come here with every note of the silence that it would contain, but now he felt as though he needed to run from it. Run away to some other place, somewhere that would portray a more positive vibe. Yet, at the same time, the emptyness of the caves seemed filled with second chances, a new beginning. Now he couldn't decide if he wanted to leave or not.

Luckily, Danielle decided that for him. Without warning she began to walk around the caves, slowly recapturing memories of each spot, before finally stopping at a corner in the back. She sank down to the floor, just sitting there for a moment. Locke contemplated sitting next to her, finally settling for resting by the wall nearest to her.

"It's funny," Locke spoke up after a thoughtful pause, "you don't seem afraid of it."

Danielle looked up at him, a curious expression upon her face.

"Why would I be afraid of it?" She asked him, sounding amused.

Instead of replying, Locke could only sit there, studying her face with curiosity, pondering her reasoning. Only now could Locke admit that he was afraid of the thing, only because he knew there was no control over it. Callum had been right, without control, there would only be chaos. With that thought he leaned his head back against the walls, letting himself take in the unfamiliar sound of the jungle and waterfall, wanting more than ever to have some kind of time machine, something that could take back all his mistakes. Sitting here with Danielle and talking to Jack reminded him of everything they caused, or at least couldn't help. He hated it, and now, more than ever, he wanted some kind of second chance. A clean slate.

(space)

Jack hurried down the path back to the beach, mind reeling with anger. How could he go back to Kate and tell her that he considered doing the same thing he'd stopped her from doing just this morning? But as much as he didn't want to face the confession, he didn't want to stay in the jungle either. He assumed he wouldn't be interrupted on the path, so he hurried at his own pace, but once again his assumptions proved him wrong. He just missed knocking over a figure on the path, and by the glasses Jack knew it was Sebastian. Furrowing his eyebrows, Jack stepped back. Sebastian never came to the caves when nearly everyone lived there, let alone in the dark when it was known to be vacant.

"Sorry," Sebastian offered nervously.

"No problem," Jack shrugged, expecting the man to continue to wherever it was he was headed to. Sebastian didn't budge. Jack began to think that he'd come looking for him. "Need something?"

"I was just going to say..." Sebastian began uncertainly. "I know what it's like to feel like you have to protect someone. And it's not a wrong thing." He glanced in the direction the beach was in. "Look, Michelle wouldn't even be asleep right now. She's trying to get to sleep, spending hours just looking at nothing, like she's done for almost a year now. Or it feels like a year."

Jack looked at him quizzically, unsure of what he was getting at.

"You can't tell Michelle I told you this," Sebastian sighed, "or anyone. But it hasn't been an easy eight months for us."

"Eight months?" Jack inquired. "We've only been on the island for six."

Sebastian nodded.

"The protective feeling came eight months ago," Sebastian started, "we've been on the run." Jack raised an eyebrow.

"From who?" He wondered outloud.

He hadn't expected the answer, but he didn't question Sebastian as he sighed again before continuing. Sebastian clearly needed to say some kind of confession. That's why he wondered out here in the jungle- the place he obviously feared going most.

"We haven't had the best of relationships," he began, "actually, we kind of split up awhile back...not permanitly, but I guessed I missed something, because she started seeing this guy; and she didn't believe anyone who said he was no good. I had no idea what was going on, until one night it just stopped." Suddenly Sebastian looked up at Jack, meeting eyes with him. Somehow, Jack knew he didn't want to hear what he had to say next. "He beat her up, Jack. Badly. She...she practically couldn't function for days. She's been scarred ever since." Sebastian sighed again, letting out a long breath before mustering the strength to go on. Jack felt bad for the man, who'd clearly had no one to lay this onto for the longest time. "It's a long story, but the bottom line is...I know what it's like to feel like you always have to be there for someone, and like I said, it's not a bad thing. Don't pay attention to what anyone else has to say."

He let Jack have a moment to take this in. The support seemed a little odd- everyone had always told him he was too commited, and as well too protective- and it was, in a way, relieving, to see someone who agreed with his way of living. Really, it wasn't something he could help. He could either help out or feel guilty about not doing anything.

"See you around," Sebastian said, cutting into his thoughts. With a nod he left, leaving Jack to further ponder what he'd said, really not understanding his meaning until he was finally back to his camp, and found Kate waiting up for him.

"You finally got that water," she noted with a smile. The bag from his shoulders dropped, the weight of it having been completly absent from his mind.

Jack nodded.

"Yeah."

Kate raised an eyebrow, amused.

"You okay?"

Jack glanced around, really considering his answer before again replying:

"Yeah."

(space)

_You said I'm gonna buy this place and burn it down _

_I'm gonna put it six feet underground _

_You said I'm gonna buy this place and watch it fall _

_Stand here beside me baby in the crumbling walls_

He was back in the caves. Jack couldn't remember going back, but he was in the caves, walking out, in fact, of the one he and Kate used to share. Confused, Jack stepped out into the open area of the caves, looking around.

A coffin sat in the center of the open space.

As Jack crept closer, he realized that he knew this place. This dream. He'd had it before. Walking forward, Jack knew to expect Kate's body in his father's coffin even before he approached it. For the longest moment Jack stood there, looking down at the body. Even though it was a reaccuring dream, and Jack knew what to expect, he began to wonder _why _he actually expected it. Maybe Rose was right. He did need to have some faith.

"I'm sorry you had to see this again."

Jumping at Locke's voice, Jack turned around. This wasn't part of his dream before.

"What is this?" Jack asked, looking from Locke to the coffin in horror. "A warning?"

"Yes it is."

Jack turned. When he looked a second time, Locke was no longer Locke. Locke and his voice had changed to Alex, standing there, smiling at him. Why was everyone smiling now? She looked _happy_, _pleased_. Jack couldn't understand it.

"Hey," she said sweetly, stepping forward.

He wasn't sure how to react. Before in his dreams, Alex went right on to some accusation, dismissing him before he even got a chance to defend himself.

"It's okay," Alex assured him, bringing a hand to his, "you'll be okay." Bringing her hand down, she offered him a sympathetic smile. "Just take care of her, okay?"

Jack looked back down to the coffin. Now Kate's body looked blured, not all there. But like all bodies in coffins, there was something peaceful about her. She was finally getting her peace.

_Oh I'm gonna buy this place and start a fire _

_Stand here until I fill all your heart's desires _

_Because I'm gonna buy this place and see it burn _

_Do back the things it did to you in return _

Before Jack could get a chance to answer, Alex disapeared and he found himself waking to a jolt. There was a silent unanimous decison made that night to build one fire, and have everyone sleep around it. Jack and Kate had joined, rather relucantly, at last minute. No one protested. Across from him, Sayid stared blankly into the fire in front of them, glancing as Jack woke to a rough start. A thick black sky loomed above them, and Jack knew that had many more hours to go until the sun came up. He also knew that there was no way he'd be getting back to sleep. Theoritically, he assumed he could sleep peacefully now, but there was something he had to do first.

"Kate," he whispered, shaking Kate awake.

Only feeling partially guilty for awakening her, Jack ignored her groans as she was forced awake. She looked up at him, confused, as though for a moment she didn't know who he was.

"Jack?" She asked uncertainly.

"There's something I have to do," he explained quickly. Across from them, Sayid was willingly ignoring their conversation.

"What's going on?" She demanded, sitting up.

Holding a hand to her shoulder, Jack looked Kate in the eye, hoping she would to understand without having to dive into a deep explination.

"I need you to come with me," he pleaded quietly, searching her eyes.

Kate studied him for a long moment, before finally nodding her head.

"Okay," she agreed. Immediatly Jack jumped up. "Jack, what's going on?"

Even as he led her a little ways into the jungle she still questioned him, glancing around nervously to the bushes and darkness that held things they would've never imagined impossible a year ago. But nevertheless she followed, leaving Jack to it as he determinly tore through the jungle.

(space)

Back at the beach, Charlie and Hurley desperatly tried to calm down Aaron, who was crying madly. Charlie was trying to sing him back to sleep, but nothing seemed to work. Claire was back up the beach where everyone was staying, Charlie having said that he could handle it. Thank God Hurley had volunteered to come along...even if he wasn't willing to give up his duty.

"Just let me see him!" Hurley begged, whining like a child as he tried to reach out for the baby.

Charlie immediatly jerked away, which only made Aaron cry harder.

"And just to think," Charlie muttered bitterly, "we'll have two of you in a few months."

Hurley just smiled.

"I saw it coming."

Glaring at him, Charlie turned his attention back to calming down Aaron, Hurley still begging to help.

_He said I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war _

_If you can tell me something worth fighting for _

_Oh and I'm gonna buy this place, that's what I said _

_Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head _

Back at the fire, Sayid had been staring so intensly into nothing that he didn't notice Sun approaching until she spoke out to him, causing him to jump.

"I'm sorry," she appologized, "I was just wondering...about Jin's watch."

The ground seemed to shift underneath his feet as Sayid sat up, face contorting into sympathy. Being asked if he could fix Jin's broken watched felt like ages ago, maybe apart of a whole other era. Afte all that had happened today, Sayid couldn't even remember when exactly she had asked him about fixing it. But he did remember that he had indeed manage to bring the clock back to life, and had placed it for safe keeping inside his bag.

"Of course," Sayid said, reaching into his backpack that he had with him.

Handing the piece of jewlrey to her, carefully placing it in Sun's hand, a smile crept across her face as she slipped it around her wrist. Suddenly, Sayid felt a strong sense of admiration towards her, for being so strong throughout all this. That had been one thing Sayid had to relucantly agreed to Mitchell on, and he himself felt his own guilt about it.

The thank-you went mutually agreed on, unspoken, and Sun walked away, clearly in a happier state than before.

_And honey all the movements you're starting to make _

_See me crumble and fall on my face _

_And I know the mistakes that I made _

_See it all disappear without a trace _

_And they call as they beckon you on _

_They said start as you mean to go on _

_Start as you mean to go on_

"You couldn't sleep either?" Sawyer guessed as Rebecca sat down next to him. She shook her head, laying it on his shoulder. "I hate that."

Lifting her head, she looked up at him, wounded.

"I hated when people put their heads on my shoulder," he grumbled, "whatever happened to that bubble you're supposed to have around you?"

Rebecca rolled her eyes.

"Come on," she said, "you don't believe in that stuff."

"No," Sawyer agreed with a huff, "but I don't want your damn head on my shoulder."

With an exsaperated sigh Rebecca dropped her head. She was tired but she couldn't sleep, and after nearly hours of tossing in turning, she finally gave up.

"Do you want to talk?" She offered hopefully.

"And I hate heart-to-hearts," Sawyer grumbled, dismissing the idea.

"You're impossible," Rebecca complained, resting her head on her hands, which still felt slightly sore from her kidnapping experience. She knew they shouldn't be, and blamed it on the shock that came with the experience. Even though she knew that Daniel guy was no good, everytime she saw him being shot in her head, her hearty still leapt with doubt.

"You're the one that came to me," Sawyer pointed out. He stood up at the comment.

"And now you're deserting me?" Rebecca said incrediously.

"It's _late_."

She sighed. There was really no understanding him. But Rebecca really didn't want the burden of having to try and go to sleep, so when Sawyer laid down at their camp, she asked with half-hearted wonder.

"What are you doing?"

He was clearly annoyed with her, and she wondered to herself if he had maybe had something to drink. Even Sawyer was never _this_ dismissive of her.

"In nine months Jack and Kate are going to have their own little kid from hell," Sawyer replied bitterly.

"So?" Rebecca demanded, crossing her arms.

"_So_," Sawyer remarked, "I'm going to go to sleep and hope this is all a dream."

Laying down next to him, Rebecca hesitated, pausing before daring to close her eyes in attempts to sleep.

"You don't really hope this is all a dream, do you?" She asked him nervously.

A moment passed before Sawyer finally replied tiredly:

"No."

_He said I'm gonna buy this place and see it go _

_Stand here beside my baby watch the orange glow _

_Some'll laugh and some just sit and cry _

_You just sit down there and you wonder why_

In the caves, Danielle and Locke sat in silence, Locke staring at the waterfall, still wondering to himself what he was supposed to say.

"Where'd you go?" He finally asked. "When you left here?"

Danielle was quiet for awhile, before she finally replied with a weary smile:

"The same place I always go."

Leaving it at that, Locke studied her for a moment before looking away, left to draw his own conclusions. He wondered if Danielle knew about the hatch or anything more than the answer. And it admitely creeped him out to know that Danielle could know even more about the island he did. After all, they had only been there for six months. She had been there for sixteen years.

_So I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war _

_If you can tell me something worth fighting for _

Down the hatch, Callum was busy shutting everything down. He didn't sit around waiting for Locke or any of them, wondering if they'd ever return. Going with his own instinct, Callum did a complete shutdown to everything in the hatch, ending with the lights.

_And I'm gonna buy this place is what I said_

_Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head _

At the beach, Sebastian set down carefully, looking to see if Michelle was, by chance, asleep. He saw that her eyes were closed, but that didn't mean anything. Sighing, Sebastian pulled a blanket over her shoulders, hoping he hadn't made a mistake by confessing to Jack. He did share the man's need for protection, but they could both understand that it really wasn't out of a need. It was out of love.

_Oh to the head _

He did take a few personal things, including food, with him, but abandoned the place with only two simple pats to the inside door before closing it. For good.

_And honey all the movements you're starting to make _

_See me crumble and fall on my face _

_And I know the mistakes that I made _

_See it all disappear without a trace _

_And they call as they beckon you on _

_They say start as you mean to go on _

_As you mean to go on, as you mean to go on_

After his meeting with Sun, Sayid felt a sudden need to go back to his tent...his old tent. The one he hadn't slept in in almost more than a week- the one he had shared with Shannon. But he wasn't the only one there. Standing around, gazing around at all of Shannon's old stuff. When Sayid entered Boone met eyes with them, and they both knew that they this was the time they had to deal with this.

"So which half do you want to keep?" Boone asked jokingly.

Sayid offered him a half-smile, but just then Boone's eyes fell on something laying on one of the boxes: a journal. His eyes turned up to Sayid quickly, and he placed the book in his bag without a word, as if hoping the quickness would make the moment disapear.

"Maybe tomorrow," he shrugged, meaning that sometime other than now they would go through everything.

Turning, Boone fled into the jungle, never looking back until he reached Shannon's grave again. He'd sat there for hours earlier, turning away only when it grew dark. _Coward_, he thought bitterly.Sitting the journal on the grave, Boone let his mind go blank as he gazed at the makeshift gravestone, wondering how things would've been different back home. He could've afforded better, he knew that much. They would've had some kind of fancy funeral reception, and Shannon would've been buried in a true cemetary.

Then again, back home, she probably wouldn't of died. Maybe.

Just then the trees rustled, and without considering what or who it may be, Boone turned and ran, leaving the journal at its place on the grave, right above the markings for 'rest in peace'.

(space)

Just as Boone left, Jack and Kate approached their mini-graveyard. Jack's father was buried not too far away, but that wasn't why he chose to come here tonight- not that he never visited the grave. The dream had been a warning, he decided, but it had also had a message. Maybe things would be okay, could be okay. He could believe that. In time.

"You sure you want to be here?" Kate asked, shivering slightly in the cold.

There was always something about graveyards, Jack decided, that made you feel chilly, even when it was warm out. There was something about being there that made you feel that you were in a different time, like nothing or nowhere else mattered except for where you were right now.

Jack nodded.

"Yeah."

He stared at the grave, in his head saying everything he probably would've said outloud, had Kate not been there. Though he knew she wouldn't of minded it, even would've been supportive, Jack wanted to keep a part of this closure to himself. For oldtimes sake. So in his head he said everything, again: how he was sorry he couldn't save her, though he knew she wanted to be let go. He couldn't understand that, but he knew that's what she'd wanted. And that's what happened.

"How about 'Alex'?" Kate asked suddenly, breaking into his thoughts.

Jack turned to her.

"A little early to be thinking about names," he commented, laughing dryly. Hearing the name made him shudder, speaking that he was standing over that very person's grave.

Kate shrugged, not replying, though still looking for him to answer. Jack sighed.

"Not after anyone here," he said at last, "that would be too awkward."

"And I was so shooting for 'Sawyer'," Kate teased, looking up to him as she rolled her eyes.

Smiling, Jack stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, ripped at the knees from more island experiences than he could recall in one thought. He gazed back down at the grave, but for some reason he couldn't wrap his mind around it again. It chose to wonder, sending his thoughts to other places and people. Maybe this wasn't the right time. Maybe he should've came alone.

"Okay, let's go," Jack said suddenly, already walking away.

Kate grabbed his arm, stopping him with a look of concern ready on her face.

"Are you sure?" She inquired, studying him quizzically.

Jack fully stopped, looking down at Kate.

"It's okay," he told her, the words coming out of him without much thought.

Turning her kneck sideways, as if to get a better look at him, Kate looked at him, confused.

"What?" She asked, but was interrupted.

A rustling had started in the trees. And not a human rustling. In the back of his mind, Jack knew what was going to come next, but he didn't want to believe it. Grabbing Kate's arm, Jack broke into a run, dragging her behind. No way was this going to happen again. No way.

"Jack!" Kate screamed.

He turned. She had been caught in some kind of hole. How had he missed it? He demanded in his mind. Diving for her, Jack grabbed Kate's hand, but the ground shook in protest with him. It was a scene Jack knew only too well, and had it not been for that, Jack further wouldn't of been able to wrap his mind around the concept of what was happening. It was happening too fast. Too fast. Yet he knew he should be used to it. Though his mind was reeling with anger, pain, in a desperate need to just save someone- just this once- Jack still couldn't miss Kate's face, filled with more fear and terror that he could ever have. Whatever he was feeling, she was experiencing twice as much. Desperatly she clutched his hand, crying out in pain at her attempts to get back to solid ground. Out of fear, or maybe even curiosity, she franticially looked betweent the darkness below her and Jack, her tear-streaked face making him pull even harder. In his mind she was already pulled out, and they were hugging, just like after the cave-in, rejoicing at being together again.

_So meet me by the bridge,_

_Oh meet me by the lane_

_When am I going to see_

_That pretty face again_

But the thought seemed to do nothing but make the monster want to rip them apart. Jack found his strength useless as there was a loud roar, louder than he had heard with his past experiences with the monster. The effect threw him to the side, sending him flying against a tree. Pain shot through his body, blood emerging at once in drops at the skin on his arms. But he ignored that.

Her screams echoed in his mind as Jack pushed himself off the tree, screaming at the top of his lunges. But already she felt far away...and it was all still happening too fast. But still he screamed. He shouted, repeating her name over and over again, because it was the only hope he had. He could at least depend on the fact that someone would hear him, but as dust swriled around him, feeling as though it were engulfing him, Jack could hear nothing but his own screams of everything of terror, pain, and suffering. But still he yelled. He had no faith whatsover, Jack was ready to admit that by now. He even wondered if he was being punished because of that. But he was even ready to drop on his knees, do anything, that would change this.

_Meet me on the road_

_Yeah, meet me where I said_

_Blame it all upon_

_A rush of blood to the head_

But right now, all he could do was yell.

**Author's Note:** Okay. Don't panic. Don't pain. Read it until the end. Read it until the end. Some words of advice, there:) I'll say now that there's only a few chapters left. But read it until the end. Anyway, thanks for the reviews! You guys rock!

**Coming up, on "In the End":**

I ain't sayin' a word.

Thanks again!

Until next time...


	38. The Hypocratic Oath

In The End

Chapter Thirty-Eight

**Warning: **This chapter contains the mentions and contemplatings of suicide. It is not to be, in any way, a subliminal message. If you yourself is in a suicidal situation, please to not take any reasons for suicide in this chapter seriously and, by all means, please get help.

_'Cause tonight's the night_

_The world begins again_

-"Better Days" the Goo Goo Dalls

**Chapter Thirty-Eight: **The Hypocratic Oath

"Jack?"

He didn't answer. White walls surrounded him, a window shooting in bright sunlight from nearby, an unfamiliar air conditioned feel to the room blowing around him, Jack felt suffocated. He wanted to leave.

"Dr. Shephard?"

The interrogater's name was David. David something...he couldn't remember. The name had only stuck out to him because he had heard it on the island before, just another one of the island's never-ending list of badguys. Or maybe they were just victims of the island's terror, like himself. He couldn't remember. After telling the story over and over again, the once organized line of wording became like one memory, everying mixing into one incredulous blur of moments.

"Dr. Shephard," David said again, in the same impacient way he had spoken all through the interview. Because no one believed him. He could see it in their eyes, the few people that sat around him in the room, and his mom, who was watching from the one-way mirror behind him. She was crying. Only once had he turned to look at her, only once had he been able to. Tears were streaming down her face. Somehow, she was listening into the interrogation. Either that, or just the sight of her son- both emotionally and psysically damaged- was bringing her to tears. Or maybe she was just realizing where her heart should've been throughout all of the years she was missing in her son's life.

"Dr. Shephard," a man beside David began. This one had a thick Australian accent. Apparently his name was Chase, and that was a last name. And apparently he'd worked on the '815 case', as he learned they'd been calling it. So someone had been looking for them. "Dr. Shephard, you just sat here and recalled five months-"

"Six months," Jack repeated, snapping out of his rivirie and looking up at the man with silent annoyance, folding his hands on the table in front of him on nervous instinct. The three men looked at him sternly. "It's been six months."

Chase cleared his throat, shuffling some papers he'd brought in a folder. When he first arrived, Jack knew immediatly what they were, and what they wanted with him. They were profiles, list, of everyone that had been on the flight. Jack had only been able to remember a third of them, to the detective's dismay, but that wasn't what interested them the most. What interested them most was when Jack began telling stories of other castaways, others who hadn't been on the flight- Alex, Danielle, Callum. The list went on, striking something within the detectives, a lost memory of cases long forgotten. Assumed dead.

"Six months," Chase repeated, hiding his impatience this time. While mostly Jack had received only looks of sympathy, some even of pity, these guys were more down to earth, not a single trace of bad feeling visible. "And you say that, how many of you survived in the end?"

He hated thinking of it as 'in the end'. It wasn't the end. They had no warning of it being the end. It wasn't fair.

"Twenty-three," Jack sighed, running a bandaged hand over his head, "twenty-four, maybe?"

When at the hospital, immediatly the nurse had wanted to take a look at Jack's hand, still scarred from just that morning. He had no clue what time it was, but the parking lot outside was shadowed over the cars that filled it, all from owners who would be itching to get home in time to see the news report of the new '815' news. For the first time in his life he seriously considered moving to another country, one where he wouldn't be as popular for all the wrong reasons. But instead he was forced to sit in a doctor's office, the nurse who took care of him half-giddy from being the one to be able to take care of him, though expressing sympathy whenever possible. She tried asking him about island life, prying him for information. Originally Jack had objected to the check-up, he was a doctor himself, and he really wanted to just be alone. But even though he felt alone now, he knew that he wouldn't truly be alone for a long time. Everyone wanted information. Everyone wanted stories. Everyone wanted to know everything that Jack had gone through, dealt with. Everyone wanted to know the hero.

But he didn't feel like a hero. If he was a hero, so many would still be alive. He wouldn't of made so many stupid decisions. If he was a hero, he wouldn't of let so many people become lost.

He wouldn't have fallen in love.

"But you said that forty-eight survived the crash," Chase went on tentivly, as though building up to a big, revealing climax. Except everyone already knew how the movie ended. They'd heard the story three times now. "What happened to the other survivors?"

A quick breath escaped him and he took another in, as if he were truly suffocating. Placing his head in his hands, Jack closed his eyes. Mentally he put himself back on the island, trying to savor it like he never got to before. The sounds, the smells. Kate. Each time he repeated the story of her death he got more and more choked up, to the point of it becoming embarrasing. But he couldn't help it. He was sick of everyone he loved being taken away from him, of never getting to say goodbye, never having his say in it all.

"I told you already," Jack replied, frustration shaking with every word. He wanted to get out of there. So badly he wanted to leave.

Glances were exchanged between the three men. The stories he told had seemed so incredulous to them: the people, the places, the experiences. And he had told every word of it. Just to make it that much real to him, to remind himself that it was true...but he still couldn't be satisfied with the ending. He didn't want it to be real, but he needed to keep repeating it in his mind, knowing that it really happened. That what they'd said to him hadn't been true.

Chase sighed.

"Dr. Shephard," he began hesitantly. He wished they'd stop calling him that. He wasn't a doctor. He wasn't a hero. Maybe he hadn't even been a good leader after all. "We found you on the shore..." it was decided silently to not note Jack's state when they found him: his demeanor, the emotion that seemed to be absorbed around him, "we searched the entire island, Dr. Sheppard. Everywhere you told us to look-" the three men exchanged one final glance, "Dr. Shephard, we didn't find anybody else on that island."

Jack didn't reply. He remembered hearing this, but Jack decided that they were lying, or that they hadn't completed the search. It was why he kept repeating the story in his mind, to remind himself that it was real. He knew what they'd suggest even before they said it.

"I'm not making this up," he insisted, tears stinging at his eyes in frustration. He wished someone could be there for him besides his mother. He wished Kate could be there. That was seflish, he knew, for she was wanted in custody by these very people, but he still wished that she was there, like always. He was so used to having her around that even as he sat there on the shore, finally collasping in exhaustion from his yells, his shock, he was convinced that she'd appear beside him, demanding to know what was wrong. Tell him that whatever it was, it was okay. Jack had even wanted to go down the hole after her, but in short time it cleared up, cealing its decision. She was gone.

Chase sighed again. Grey hairs poked out of his spiky patch of orange-blonde hair, marking many stressful days- probably spent on this very case. Worry and anticipation sank into lines across his forehead, and his breath reeked of coffee and alcohol. It was a smell Jack had grown so accustomed to, in his former life, but now it made him want to choke. The whole experience of being back on the 'mainland' had been very tiredsome, very unnerving. Just walking through the streets of the city, seeing the building and smelling things like oil and gasoline made him feel weak, nausiated, sending him running back to the shelter of his father's former office. It hadn't been cleared out after he'd been fired, for they were still looking for a new chief of surgery, and Jack knew that, deep down, the board wanted he himself to take the job. They never got the chance to ask, but Jack knew they were wanting to, which was probably one of the reasons no one objected to his stay in the room. He couldn't bring himself to go home; he didn't want to think of himself as being home, being safe, while he knew that there were twenty-three...twenty-one... people still out there, suffering the consequences of simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Dr. Shephard-" David began gently, glancing warningly towards Chase, who eased back into his chair in annoyance. "I understand-"

"You don't understand!" Jack shouted, slamming his hands down on the table. He jumped at the pain that he didn't even know was there, griminacing tightly and closing his eyes. Slowly he opened them, tears leaking out before he could catch them. His head fell into his hands. He didn't want to break down, not here, not in front of people who could really care less about him. They just wanted to be the ones that solved the case, to not get in trouble. "You don't understand..." Wiping his hands against his face, Jack faught to pull himself together. He had to leave. He had to leave soon, or else he'd completly lose it.

Then the detectives said something Jack never would've predicted. For that moment, it actually felt like they really cared about what they were hearing, that this wasn't all to sooth their conscious.

"What don't we understand?" David asked calmly, watching Jack now in a concerned, sympathetic-like way. And for once, Jack realized that at that moment, he didn't mind the sympathy. Maybe it would change everything around. They'd come out with the lie that they hadn't really searched the whole island, or maybe they really had found Kate's body and thought he wasn't well enough to handle the information. He just wanted to hear something, _anything_, that would make things seem the slightest bit okay.

Jack brought his hand back down to the table, wondering how he'd say it. At the last minute he debated with himself...would this information go public? He'd never hear the end of it, it would never leave him. People would take it the wrong way, and his mom...his mom would probably be so disapointed. But, in the end, he decided that he didn't care. He didn't care(that much) on the island, about what people thought, and he wouldn't care now. He'd make himself not care, not care that they'd think this pregnancy was a disapointment or failure.

"She was pregnant," Jack forced out, barely choking out the words before he jumped out of his seat, hand leaving the table in fury. He didn't look back to see their reactions. He didn't listen to their calls after him, telling him that he couldn't leave. He just moved towards the door, feeling as though he were moving straight through it, never even realizing he opened it, actually escaped, until his mother grabbed him by his shoulders, finally stopping him. Relucantly, he met her eyes, still filled with tears.

He wondered if she'd been like this when news of the missing flight was made public. When, surely, information of her husband's death and son's disapearance would be sent from Australia. If, for the past six months, she'd been able to move on or if she'd remained unfunctional, stuck in a block of denial, shock, and hurt. Everything Jack was feeling right now. Deep down, he wondered if, possibly, she could ever help him through this.

"We need to talk about this," his mother announced quietly, tears breaking her voice as she struggled to speak.

"I don't want to talk about this," Jack said quickly, shaking his head, shrugging away from her grip. She looked betrayed at the action; hopeless and lost in her son's world of pain.

"Jack-" she began helplessly.

Jack shook his head violently, in a rush to get away.

"I don't want to talk about this with you!" He cried, storming out of the hallway, never stopping, ignoring the looks, as he threw himself out the door.

(space)

The city's sun was something he wasn't used to. He was used to unbelievably bright rays, unbarable warm temperatures lasting until the very dead hours of the night. He was hardly used to shade or used to having a building shield him from the heat and sun. He wasn't used to having clear paths laid out for him as he traveled on, led the way by thousands of other travlers. He wasn't used to it and he didn't want it. Being home hardly felt like a luxary, hardly felt like home. So he stole away from it. Sticking to backroads, he drove as far as he could(technically driving a stolen car, his mother's) out into the open, leading him to one last lane that wrapped around a mountainside, offering views of cliffs and rocky edges below. Abruptly, he stopped the car.

He was at the very edge of one of the cliffs. As he stepped out, he could feel a breeze flowing around him, dust and dirt flying within it. But somehow, it felt familiar. How many times, on the island, had he sat on the side of a mountain, looking below, either alone or with someone else? Either just admiring the scenery or with another adgenda in mind? Standing on the edge, Jack really took in where he was, what he was contemplating doing.

_"I stood there for hours, just staring. Contemplating. And then I realized that I wasn't ready to give in. People were out there, and they were worried about me. And part of me liked that. I don't really know what it was, but something just told me that it wasn't my time. So I stepped off, and enjoyed the ledge for what it was meant for: the view-"_

They were his own words, and how many times had he said words like it? And here he was, yet again on the ledge, contemplating. How many times would he do this before he finally jumped, before he finally gave up? He stood, looking down below, taking comfort in knowing this decision he had. There'd be no surprises or abrupt endings, like with Kate. And now, she wouldn't be there to miss him. He wouldn't have to feel guilty about leaving her. He wouldn't have to wonder if she'd be okay, or if the castaways could survive without him, regardless of how independent they had all become.

But he still wasn't sure if he was ready to give up. He didn't want to be known as the survior who couldn't take it, the one who went crazy. The story would never be told correctly, and Jack felt like it was up to him to make sure the story lived on, that it'd be heard and understood. That was the least he could do, as he was supposed to be their leader, like in the stories he had told. He could preseverve their memories, give them the rescue they had always hoped for.

Even though Jack knew that memory would become a burden, and he wasn't sure if he could ever get over this, he knew he owed the rest a chance. In the past six months, he had been through so much, and it seemed only natural in the circle of life for things to turn quieter, for him to be allowed time to recover, if he wanted it. Because the only faith he had ever had was for better things to come. There would never be another Kate, and there would never be people like he'd come to know on the island, but, in time, he could live with that in memory. It'd become his escape, a reminder of how strong he could be, even though his insecurities and uncertainties would make him feel weak. There was so much he had left to do, he realized. This just wasn't the time. So he stepped back, backing away from the edge and back into the car.

_"This isn't your ledge."_

Getting back into the car, it took a few long breaths to pull himself together. Once he left this road, leaving the ledge and all it was worth behind, he'd have so much to face, so much to deal with. He didn't want to, and he had to. Every night for the rest of his life, Jack knew he would contemplating that decision he had to make. There was so much he had to live with, and so much he had left to do. But even though he'd accepted that there was still reason to go on, to not take the jump, he knew that he didn't want to do this. Finally accepting that he could be happy, that things could be okay, had been the most difficult thing in the world to him. The island had brought him terror and hope that he had never seen before, and knowing that he could never see it again, scared the hell outta him.

He tried to place the key in the ignition, to start the car, to go back, but his hands shook. He couldn't move; his mind had stopped. Once again he looked around, half-expecting Kate to show up, to offer her help. How long would it be before he stopped glancing over his shoulder? Finally able to bring himself to move, Jack missed the ignition completly, banging the steering wheel until the horn blew unpredictibly, making him jump, scaring him to death. How long had it been since he had heard that sound? All around him the horn echoed through cliffs, telling him to go on before someone found him, someone who wasn't Kate.

Starting the car, he drove away and didn't look back. It was the right choice, he decided, for them and for her. Maybe for him too, he'd realize later. He at least had to be strong for her. Even if it meant theoritically being together again, he knew it was wrong to say that she'd want him to give up. She hadn't before, and she wouldn't now. And, after all, better things could still come.

(space)

Despite his discomfort with the city, Jack found himself caught in a trance set outside a window of his father's office. No one came for him. He didn't even know if they were looking. He didn't want to talk, but he knew that he couldn't carry on like this. He'd be talking to himself in no time. There was no one that he knew of who could handle what he was feeling; it'd be a burden on its own just to tell them. But in days he'd be getting calls, letters, and personal visits from loved ones of the other survivors, begging to know what happened, to hear stories. But what they wanted to know, he couldn't tell them. They wanted to know that their loved ones had been- and according to his story, were- okay. That they hadn't suffered. And if he told them that, he'd be lying. They'd all suffered, in more ways then they could have ever imagined. As if the trauma of being in a plane crash wasn't bad enough, the consequences of crashing on that island- their island- were even worse, were even more horryfying. The next thing Jack planned to do was to find out who was running that place, or rather, who had left it there. He wasn't a fan of lawsuits, but he was beginning to have second thoughts. And not for the money. He'd do it for the same reason he'd stepped off that ledge: for them.

_He tried to find something to focus on. Anything. Just one thing to set his mind on, to focus everything into one. To make it all stop._

_It was morning now. He didn't understand how night had turned to day, how everything was different now, while his mind stood in one place, spinning around itself in an everlasting whirl of confusion and denial. It had gotten to the point where he had to leave. Because if he left, if he wasn't there, then maybe it never happened at all. It could've all been a dream, he kept telling himself. After all, people had dreams where they woke up within their dreams all the time. So he forced himself to leave. Only a little while before that had he been forced to stop screaming. Throat hoarse, Jack could hardly breathe from the effort. He made his way back to the beach, stumbling and staggering. Of anything, he could demand to know why no one came. They hadn't wondered that far from camp at all, someone would've heard. Sayid, even, was still awake when they had left. But not a sound followed him as Jack made his way through the jungle, so lost in his mind, so bent out of shape that he lost his way without even realizing it. _

_If he had a mirror, he would've refused to look at himself. He felt like the beach found him instead of the other way around, cutting into his path that would've freed himself of guilt for the moment. But there was no freedom, and there would never be for him. Hadn't he just dreamt of Alex warning him about Kate's death? And Alex had been a psychic... Now he was responsible for two deaths. Three, including the baby.Two people dying- at his hands!- when he had taken, sworn an oath, to save. He'd failed them. His head ached, his hands were covered in dirt, he could hardly move from exhaustion and an overwhelming sadness that was taking over him, and he didn't care. He finally collasped on the sand, but only because his body refused to move him forward any longer. _

_Sinking into the sand, Jack ran a shaky hand over his head, staring out to the ocean. How many times had he found Kate there by the shore, just standing? _"Sinking."_ He could just imagine her standing there now, smiling to herself at a treasured memory, or maybe lost in thought, contemplating some current issue. Like being pregnant. Just to think, they'd spent so much time worrying about their child would grow up on the island, worrying about how it'd effect him or her. Had they known she would be gone in mere hours, would they have spent time differently? For once not worrying about themselves or anything concerning them? Just...being._

_He breathed in hard. He wished he had some water. But even that simple thought got him thinking. What if he had been able to save her, had been able to pull her out? The horrific way Alex's torn body had laid in front of him before she'd died was still recently clear in his mind. He couldn't of saved Kate if he had to spend time scurrying to get supplies and water to help her. Why hadn't he been prepared? Hell, how had he been so selfish as to drag her into the jungle in the first place? They both feared it, deep down, yet he spoke the request like a last wish._

_But it was over now. He knew that. Somewhere within him, Jack knew that she wasn't coming back. He didn't want to accept it, but still, he knew it was true. Once again, life had caught him in a dead end. He didn't know where he'd go, what he'd do after this. He didn't want to go back to camp. He didn't want to go anywhere where he and she had once been...not yet. Someday he would, but not yet. Now he just wanted to sit here, just like she liked to do, and stare at the ocean. Just have that one moment where nothing else mattered. He wanted to have it for her._

_He wondered why this always happened to him. Why did he always lose the people he loved? Was it setting him up for an even bigger picture for years later? But he wasn't getting much older, as Kate had commonly made effort to bring up. He didn't see what else could be left for him. And why, how, was that thing big enough to excuse all this crap he had been through all his life, with fate hitting him with pain over and over again? If he could even blame it on fate...at this point, he wanted to blame it on anyone. Himself, for not being able to save her. The castaways back at camp, for not coming at his yells. His dad, for being so complicated, for running and sending Jack chasing after him in the first place. But then again, the crash was what brought he and Kate together. And yet, in the end...he couldn't decide whose side fate was on. Did fate even have a side?_

_Maybe it did. Maybe it chose selfishly, carelessly, without thought at all. Picking and chosing. Because that had to be the only reason why a boat was headed for him right then. Rescue had finally come._

(space)

_They wouldn't stop staring at him. And Jack stared back. He was alone on the boat, the only one they had picked up. He told him there were others, other people waiting for rescue on the other side of the island, but they wouldn't listen. He yelled, faught back, but they seemed to have an agenda of their own. Jack still wasn't sure who they were, but the boat looked like some kind of navy ship. But if these guys were supposed to be professionals, they were certainly lost in their careers at the moment. And still they stared._

_"You look like hell, Mate," one said. His nametag said Flemming. He spoke in an Australian accent._

_"Stop speaking with that stupid accent," a second man, Harris, snapped. Already he reminded Jack of Sawyer. The way he talked, the sarcasm. A new wave of guilt hit him then. He wasn't the only one who had suffered. Sawyer had wanted rescue more than anyone, especially in those first few months. They all had...but Jack, Jack knew that on the island was the only chance he'd ever truly get to be with Kate, without risk of the authorities. And now he was the one to get rescued. "We're not in Australia anymore." He turned back to Jack, sudying him in concerned interest. Jack wished he wouldn't. He didn't want anyone to be concerned or worried about him. He didn't want to be questioned of his emotions, interrogated by people who could never, ever, understand what he went through on that island and what he would have to go through from now on. "But you do look like you've been through Hell."_

_He couldn't help it. He laughed. Dry and cruel-sounding, Jack let out a single chuckle, sending chills up the spines of everyone on board. He'd hardly said more than a word, only that there were more people waiting. It was the least he could say. But now...there was just so much damn truth to that statement that he had to laugh. The two men exchanged glances and stood. They were on deck, and their chairs slid to the edge of the boat. Jack was left alone. It was his theory that no one wanted to be around him. They were afraid of him. The scars, the sweat. They didn't understand, and they were too afraid to ask._

_Briefly, Jack wondered what would happen if he jumped overboard._

(space)

He found himself waking up from the flashback on a couch. Looking around, Jack searched for the reason of his awakening. He'd been so exhausted, he supposed, so tired of the hate that was running through him that he'd practically passed out. He didn't know what time it was, and he didn't really care. Time had been useless on the island, thus becoming useless to his life. There, on the island, there were no schedules to follow. No exact times to be places, no appointments with people who would frown if you were late.

Well, except maybe with Locke.

A knock at the door startled him away from his riveri. He had refused to eat once he got back, despite the new variety of foods awaiting him. It just didn't feel fair. But now Jack was craving to eat anything, his stomach grumbling almost to an ache as he stood, feeling the energy rush out of him in a wave of weakness. He didn't know what to say; he wasn't expecting anyone. Then again, there could be a whole law enforcment- and his mother- looking for him. Nevertheless, he finally answered the knock, calling for the person to come in.

Who stepped in the office was the last person- persons- he'd ever expect to see again. The blonde stepped uncertainly into the office, shivering as she stepped through the door, as if stepping over a grave.

"Sarah," Jack breathed, walking towards her more quickly paced than he meant to. He didn't know why, but the fact that she had left him seemed to escape him at that moment. She was, once again, the patient he thought he'd fallen in love with, always there for him- to an extent.

But now she was completly sympathetic, wearing little makeup with a child resting on her shoulders. His daughter. Jack stopped, staring at the two with stunned awe. Even though it had only been in six months, Cat already looked older, a hairful of growing blonde hair sprouting in every which direction. She looked bigger too, taller. Jack wondered if she could walk, or if they had just been waiting so long that, like Jack, she had fallen asleep. Or had she been standing outside the door, contemplating for hours rather or not to knock?

Sarah didn't say anything, but embraced him in a soft hug as he aproached her, holding him close, just like she used to. And for a moment, he lingered there in her hold. The three of them caught there, the family that never was.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered into his ear. Tears were leaking out of her shut eyes, and she broke away from Jack to wipe them away. She stared at him a long moment, taking in his presence. He was still wearing the clothes he had worn on the island, things moving too quickly to give him time to change, though part of him couldn't bring himself to. He didn't want it to be over. Not yet. It was like coming back from a vacation, not wanting to return to work. Now he didn't even know if he still had a job. Jack hadn't thought to ask. "They told me she was pregnant...the one you fell in love with."

The statement took him aback. He wasn't sure how to respond. Unlike anyone he had crossed, Sarah, somehow, seemed like someone he could approach with the subject. Maybe it was because they'd been through this before. Or maybe because, like in Kate, Jack had once believed that Sarah was the perfect girl for him. The perfect person to be there with him, through the thick and thin. And it worked...for awhile. For Kate, it worked until the end.

"How far along was she?" Sarah added, still watching him in that sympathetic way.

Jack swallowed. Honestly, he couldn't say for sure. They hadn't had machines or true test they could use to make sure or to know how far along she was. It was an estimated guess. For all he really knew, she had contemplated telling him for a week. Of course, the symptoms only seemed to have started just a few days before she took the test.

"A week," Jack replied, his voice cracking a little. His throat was still sore from both the yelling and the countless recounting during the interrogation. "Give or take a few days."

Holding her daughter tight with one arm, she brushed a hand against Jack's arm. He looked down where her touch had laid against him, staring there, not sure how to react. She continued studying him, questioning with her eyes every scar and bruise she could lay her eyes on.

"I'm sorry," she said again. He liked that she meant it. She understood that he had gone through some kind of unhumanly lifetime of torture. She could see that just by looking at him there were things he wasn't telling, secrets he'd never let up on. Times spent with Kate or frienships he'd made. His true feelings of the non-stop kidnappings and attacks. How, at one point, they really had just had to give up to the island. They were no match for its horrors.

Maybe that's why rescue had chose to come then. It truly was a rescue. But why only him, he still couldn't understand.

"Do you want to hold her?" Sarah asked suddenly, bringing Jack back. His eyes snapped up at the offer, giving her a moment to take up any regret. She didn't back down.

Mutually agreeing on it, Sarah carefully handed their child to him, the weight of his daughter making him take a step back; but he still smiled at the sight of her.

_"She has your eyes."_

The picture of her was now long lost, forgotten back with his things on the island. How ironic that when he finally left it alone, he got the real thing. And now that he looked closely, she did have his eyes. Jack smiled.

"She missed her dad," Sarah told him sadly.

Jack's smile faded. She could offer him all the sympathy she told him, but somethings just weren't true.

"She doesn't even know who I am," Jack reminded her quietly.

Sarah smiled sadly, running a hand through her daughter's golden locks of hair. Curly hair, just like Kate had.

"Now she'll get to," Sarah said softly. He looked at her, and she offered him a smile, adding, "someday." She brought her hand down, letting Jack continue to hold his daughter for the second time in his life. Twice he'd been ripped from both of his child's life. No matter what, there would always be that time(at least for Cat), where her father wasn't there, and she'd never be able to understand why he couldn't been there. What happened to him.

"Wishful thinking," Jack commented, smiilng grimly, handing Cat back. And it really was. For now, Sarah would be kind and giving, but how long would it last? Would she really be able to handle what he'd tell her, if he chose to? Or could she handle him not talking at all? Would she even want to stay around? Would _he_ want her to? They had a past, after all, and it wasn't a pretty one. Not to mention he didn't want to think too quick of her being there for him, not when he had Kate. Should have Kate.

"Jack-" Sarah began slowly.

She never got the chance to finish. The phone rang. The unfamiliar sound, like many of the sounds he had heard for the first time in six months- the closing of a door, the sound of an intercom, the blow of a car horn. Pity reminders of luck that were often forgotten. Crossing the room, Jack stared down at the phone on his father's desk before picking it up. Surely they had disconnected it before?

"Hello?" Jack finally asked. He'd almost forgotten what he was supposed to say.

Momentarily his hand slid over the wood of his father's desk, recounting countless times visited in here. He hated that all he'd ever have left were memories. What if, one day, he just forgot?

"Dr. Shephard?" A tentative voice on the other line said. It sounded thick, obviously uncertain, which made Jack's stomach twist with nerves.

Since this was his father's phone, he really didn't know what to say. _'He's dead,'_ almost escaped him. Then Jack realized: the body was still on the island. The one thing he had been sent to do, the reason he was on the plane...

This whole situation was becoming too ironic for his liking.

"This is he," Jack finally said, holding his breath while he waited for an answer. By now, he assumed they'd know his father was dead, and the number had come from an in-hospital line. From the emergancy room.

"You better come down here."

**Author's Note:** We're so close to the ending...(tear). But, still, thanks for the reviews! You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

The end...kinda.

Thanks again!

Until next time...

October Sky


	39. As Fate Would Have It: Part One

In the End

Chapter Thirty-Nine

**Chapter Thirty-Nine:** As Fate Would Have It

_If he said he didn't do things on instinct, that would be a lie. Relying on instincts was something he was personally infamous for, though he would like to say he could make decisions based on long-term thinking. Don't get him wrong, he concidered consequences, made the list of pros and cons, broke it down, but when it came to it, things on his watch were done on instinct. On the island, it was simply because things happened too fast to sit down and talk things out- most of the time- but now, instincts were what brought him here, to this shop, and why he was standing in front of this glass case. He had once told Kate that they couldn't get married because they didn't have any rings. The idea seemed riddiculous, to try and form a wedding on an island. So he always put things off until they were to get rescued- not that Jack stayed up nights considering how he'd propose. But now that they were rescued, would Kate expect that from him? Would she want it, using it for a way to feel safe, so she could really know that someone would be there for her despite his obvious commitment? The questions turned his mind in circles as he stared down at the selection of diamonds and rings, embarrased to admit that he could afford most of this. Embarrased to admit that he was thinking about wedding rings when the one that he loved was dead. They weren't rescued. He was. But his mind managed to linger back to the present just in time to spot a jewlery store, pull over, and walk in without thought. This was something he needed to do, Jack decided, for himself._

_"So who's the lucky lady?"_

_Jack looked up to meet eyes with a smiling sellsman, whose nametag said 'Jeff'. Jeff was wearing formal attire, dress pants and a matching suit jacket; and there was no doubt in Jack's mind that this man could afford these rings as well. Or at least he would be able to, were Jack to make a deal. And he'd never get out of it. Jack offered the man a small smile._

_"Just someone," he replied simply, almost no emotion in his voice._

_Jeff gave out a blunt snort. Jack had a feeling that he was the kind of man who liked to make assumptions about people, especially his customers._

_"So when's this lucky someone going to get asked?" Jeff asked curiously, the smile back on his face. It was almost errie how he could be so happy to see this man he had never met._

_Jack half-heartly shrugged._

_"I don't know," he admited, slightly embarrased at how his behavior was coming off. Usually he would have be more polite, or at least likeable, but he was finding faking emotion hard at the moment._

_"Well if you need any help," Jeff said, already taking a step back towards his office, "let me know."_

_Jack almost let him walked off, relieved of his departure, thinking that were he to change his mind, on instinct, like always, he'd be able. At least now he had a choice. But as he looked back down to the collection of jelwrey, the sizes and prizes and examples of engravings, Jack suddenly felt hoplessly lost._

_"Actually-" Jack began. Jeff smiled. "What would you recomend for..." he fought for a description of Kate. He couldn't flat out say 'a criminal'. A tomboy, maybe? But he'd only seen her on the island, where they had no choice but to show off their survival and outdoor skills._

_Jeff's smile softened, sympathetic._

_"Where's this lucky someone from?" The way he kept saying 'lucky someone' was beginning to annoy him. No, she wasn't lucky. She was dead. Or worse. He didn't even know. Alex had still been alive- painfully, hardly conscious, but alive, nontheless- after she had been taken. But he'd never know._

_Jack considered the question. He couldn't remember Kate ever telling him, but he could rule out certain states and cities right away. L.A., for one. New York. Florida. Despite the requirement of adventure that came with being stranded on an island, there was certainly a part of Kate who loved being outside- in Sawyer's words, 'the wild'. He just couldn't picture her in a big city, not when she was younger, at least. She had, after all, mentioned a father who once who taught her to track. That was in Washington, but somehow, thinking back, he couldn't picture that as a permanet location either. Then again, they both knew she wasn't the one to stay in one place._

_"Kentucky," he decided suddenly. It was a fair guess. She didn't have a thick accent, but he could see it. Rural, but not too in the middle of nowhere._

_Jeff gazed at the cases around him thoughtfully. Rays from the diamond's coverings bounced off the walls, hilighting the deep yearning in the man's eyes- a yearning for wealth. But yet there still seemed to be hints of simplicity, a part of him that understood what it was like to be in love, to be so confused about what was happening...maybe with the decisions included, or money. _

_"If you don't mind me asking," Jeff began, "how much does this person have? Are they very rich?"_

_Jack's cheeks burned in embarrasment at his silence that followed. Another answer he didn't know. She didn't come across as the type who came from a rich family or who once had a good-paying career. In fact, she almost came off as the very opposite, someone who knew the value of a dollar, someone who worked hard for every penny and nickel they made; and lastly, someone who took pride in their work, though they'd do whatever they had to do to begin with. They'd never admit that pride, and probably weren't recognized for it, unlike Jack, who at one point was being begged for interviews regarding every surgery he did, wanting to know everything about him. Not that he liked it, though at first it was nice to be praised for his work, for once._

_"You see," Jeff began in explination, "you don't want them to think that you think you need to buy their love, or maybe that you feel you need to give them what they may never had, in terms of money." He winked at Jack, and suddenly Jack wished he'd let the man go back on his break. "So for our more simple ones, I'd suggest something from this selection." Moving along an isle of diamand necklaces, sparkles dancing across the walls opposite of them, glistening in their worth. They stopped at a smaller case, possessing more simple-looking jewlery. "Don't judge a book by its cover," Jeff warned, "these are pricey."_

_Jack swallowed. It was true that he could afford most of these, but he sitll hadn't been informed about work. For all he knew, he was out of the job. Even if he wasn't, Jack didn't know if they'd let him go back so soon. He may not get paid for months. But, still, he did feel that need to buy the best, but not to impress or show off. But because she truly deserved it...were Kate to actually be there. _

_"How much are we talking about?" Jack inquired nervously._

_Jeff smiled slyly, and told Jack a number. It wasn't that bad, but Jack hadn't thought about spending that much money in months, not since he had to pick out the coffin for his father. Then he was in a fit of debates, contemplating between really just wanting to get it all over with and- even in his death- wanting to do what was best for his father...what his dad would want him to do, what he'd approve of. But this was different. Kate hardly expected anything of that sort from him...the decision was his and his alone. So, running his eyes over the case one last time, Jack's finger landed over a single diamond, simple enough and simple enough in size to be considered a good choice. Good enough to be considered perfect to at least him. A single ray of sparkle shined from its side, unlike the others, which shined every which way, certainly showing off, begging to be bought. But this one, set aside in this way, quietly sat alone, unnoticed, despite its perfect features and personality. There was just that one mistake that would brand it forever. So Jack picked it. Jeff raised an eyebrow, but Jack nodded anyway, taking a deep breath as the salseman reached into a pocket, taking out a chain of keys._

(Space)

The whole floor reaked of blood and sweat. No one would tell him what happened, and there was a long list of patients he wasn't allowed to visit. Including her. The room he stood in used to be white, but after many years of use and many newer versions of technology shuffled in and out, the color faded. Small in size, the room wasn't meant for a long-term patient, and Jack couldn't help but to wonder where all these short-term patients would go after their stay. How they'd build their lives back together.

A constant beeping would bring him back to reality. He would surprise himself by actually dozing off, a reminder of all the sleep he hadn't been getting the past few days. He hated catching a glimpse of himself in an occasional glass door; heavy circles of dark blue circling his eyes like he'd been on the losing side of a bad fight. And he had been. A fight for peace. But he had pleanty of thoughts to keep himself occupied. Pleanty of worries, pleanty of concerns. Pleanty of reasons why he didn't want to leave this room. He'd always felt that not confronting the situation would somehow make it unreal, non-exsisting. And this was a bad situation. His ears listened and he'd constantly be on a watch out of the corner of his eye, expecting every moment for cops to rush through the hall, grab her and take her away. She wouldn't be given a chance. It wasn't even fair, she didn't have a fighting chance in her condition to run. It was almost like they'd planned it this way, that this whole thing was a big set up to catch their most dangerous criminal, despite how she may have changed. To them, all that mattered was what you've done. Nothing else. They wouldn't care about what she has now, or their relationship. They'd laugh at that. Tell him he could do better, that he didn't deserve her. It'd just be another way of someone else trying to control his life, because apparently he couldn't have a say in anything.

In his hands, his fingers played with the small case in his hand, tiny in size, just big enough to hold a set of earrings. Or an engagment ring. Every now and then Jack would prop it open, peak inside, stare at it for awhile, and snap it shut before he could go any further. Now he was really in trouble. He didn't want to scare her...he didn't want to place commitment on her in a place she would always run from, never be comfortable in. He didn't want to force this decison on her when she had so much on her shoulders, so much that was uncertain. But he knew he wouldn't be able to just let the ring sit there for so long, unused. Staring at him. Mocking him, as it was now. With a finger, Jack once again slid open the case. The ring stared back up at him, its single string of sparkle dancing towards his eyes. He blinked. Would it be good enough for her, were he to actually, in some crazed instinct, ask her? Would she expect more from him now, now that there was more to offer, more possibilities? Or would he really scare her, send her running?

Painfully, someone groaned. The case snapped shut before Jack could think to close it, and he quickly shoved it into his pocket, looking over to the bed that was in the room. His foot fell from where he'd been resting it on the wall opposite of him. This would be the first step to confronting the situation. Somehow, others had been found. Somehow, Jack had been able to convince them to search again. And somehow, they had been wrong before. Surprsingly, though, it didn't even shake his faith that the rescue crew was wrong. They were the ones you looked up to save you, to be there when you needed them. But, on the island, Jack learned that depending on someone was risky, no matter how trustworthy they were. There was always a chance something would go wrong, that you were on your own. And you had to be prepared for it.

But now he had to prepare what he'd say to this person waking up and every other person he encountered afterwards.

"Great."

Jack had to snort at Sawyer's entrance. Part of the reason he chose to visit Sawyer first was that he knew the comic relief he always provided would do him good, but if he needed to, he could mention the situation with Kate as well, and Sawyer would, hopefully, be just as concerned as he.

"What?" Jack dared to ask.

Sawyer had closed his eyes, easing back into the pillows behind his head in pain.

"Just thinkin' about how lucky I am to have you as my angel of death."

He couldn't help but to laugh, though he had to wonder...Jack had just assumed everyone knew they'd been rescued.

"You're not dead," Jack informed him

Sawyer turned his head over, wincing at the movement. Jack's eyebrows furrowed. The nurses had all acted like everyone had been through some traumatic catastrophe...which they had...but recently, for the most part they had been fine. Physically, at least.

"Then why the hell are you here?" Sawyer inquired. He sounded like he hadn't slept for a week and looked far worse in health than he had the last time Jack saw him. Finally opening his eyes again, Sawyer's eyes danced around the room in confusion, landing on Jack, looking for answers. "Where the hell are we?"

Jack looked down at his shoes, stuffing his hands in his pockets. There was one thing they never expected to have to consider: what if they didn't want to go home? But rescue had come so quickly, literally sweeping them off their feet, that they had no choice. And now they had to live with it.

"We were rescued," Jack admited, smiling a little as he laughed at himself, for no apparent reason. It just felt so weird saying it...they were home. Even though it may not feel like it. "You're home."

Sawyer only took a moment to consider this. He didn't seem thrilled nor disapointed. In fact, he was concerned.

"Rebecca?" He asked weakly.

At least he had one good piece of news to deliver.

"She's next door."

In relief, Sawyer sank further back into the pillow. For a long pause he stared into the ceiling. Questions burned through Jack's mind, waiting to be asked: what happened, how much did they know? Why didn't they come when he yelled before, at the island? But he kept his mouth shut, resting his foot against the wall opposite of him, feeling restless, drained. He still needed to talk to his mother, he knew, he owed her that. Deep down, he didn't fully believe that, but seeing how she was today, broken down, horrified, it changed something in his mind about her. A new sympathy developed within him for her. After all, she had lost her husband and- assumingly- her son, all in one week, even if she hadn't always had her heart with them. But he also had to talk to Kate. Especially she deserved that.

"Why aren't you with her?" Sawyer wondered outloud, closing his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week. But Jack's mind was on the question, and he wasn't sure how to answer. He could lie, say that he already saw her, but he didn't. It just hit him that Kate might not even be alive. After all, they wouldn't let him see her. If he was desperate enough, he supposed he could've, but truthfully, Jack wasn't sure even then how to confront her. He wanted to, badly. He wanted so badly to feel that relief, knowing that she was still there. But part of him was afraid. He couldn't save her. He hardly tried. He feared she'd be angry with him, furious. And he didn't know if he could be strong enough to except that.

"I couldn't," Jack admited, ashamed of his answer. He hated it when he couldn't be the strong one, when he wasn't able to take it. If he was supposed to be the hero, he should be able to. He should be able to prove his father wrong.

Sawyer didn't seem to register the answer; Jack couldn't even be sure he'd heard him. Now that he thought about it, Sawyer almost looked drugged. He wondered if they brought him in unconscious, or if he'd been so excited about rescue- or maybe delarious- that they had to drug him.

"What did the doctors say?" Sawyer asked wearily.

He too quickly assumed he was talking about Kate.

"They didn't say," Jack replied truthfully, and regrefully. Right then he considered definetly going to see Kate next. He wanted to see her for himself and to know what to say. He hated not knowing what to say.

"I meant about me," Sawyer retorted bitterly. He held his eyes shut tight for a moment, as though he had a headache.

Jack smiled wearily.

"They said you've got to stay off that ankle for a week," Jack remarked with a smirk.

Sawyer didn't reply, his eyes moving past Jack, out the window built into the door Jack was beside. Vacantly he stared into it, watching as people shoved past each other in the hallway, desperatly searching for their missing loved ones, ready to bring them home. Suddenly Jack felt a pang of guilt for Sawyer...he'd made it pretty obvious that no one was looking for him. No one would be here, grateful for his return, crying and holding them to make up for six months worth of missing moments.

"How's Rebecca?" Sawyer asked, still gazing out the window. Jack briefly contemplating shifting positions so he could get a better view out.

"They said she's fine," Jack knew ahead of time that he'd be asking about her and checked with the doctors before he went to see him. "But she wouldn't tell them what happened."

Sawyer watched for more answers in Jack's expression, obviously having difficulty focusing.

"The kidnapping?" He inquired uncertainly.

Jack shrugged.

"I don't know" he answered truthfully, watching the floor grimly. They wouldn't tell him much about anyone, just that they found mostly everyone he talked about. They believed him now.

Squeezing his eyes shut tightly before reopening, Sawyer sat up in the bed. Jack noticed he was still wearing what he was last seen wearing on the island.

"I'm gonna go see her," Sawyer announced, determined. Apparently he wasn't aware of hospital rules, Jack noted. Sawyer glanced to him. "And I swear if you say one more thing about my ankle..."

He stopped, noticing a wire attatched to his arm, where they'd taken some blood. Sawyer frowned at it, at first confused, then angry.

"What the hell is this?" He demanded, looking to Jack.

Jack couldn't help but to smirk at his cluelessness.

"Looks like they took some blood," Jack commented.

Sawyer scrowled, tugging on the wire but unable to pull it out.

"Can you help me with this?" He asked bitterly.

Jack shook his head.

"You're not my patient," he replied honestly. In fact, he'd been restricted from working on any of the survivor's injuries or wounds. Which included Kate.

Sawyer stared at him incredulously.

"You're the doctor!" He complained. He sounded like a child who hadn't had their daily nap.

Jack shrugged, and Sawyer bitterly sank back into the bed. He was quiet for a few minutes, but he wasn't through asking questions.

"When are you going to go see her?" He asked him, watching Jack for an answer.

Jack's shoulders sank at the question.

"I don't know," he replied simply, wearily. He himself needed some sleep, though he knew even now he wouldn't be getting to for a long time...not peaceful rest, at least.

Sawyer ignored the answer, like he'd never asked, but he didn't switch subjects, but Jack wasn't surprised: everyone wanted to know about Kate.

"Where the hell were you?" Sawyer inquried, eyebrows furrowing, "What the hell happened?"

Jack looked up at him. Maybe now he'd get to ask some questions.

"I screamed-" he cut himself off, changing his wording, "I shouted for hours-" he looked down to the floor, concentrating hard on it to help keep his voice steady, to help tell the story. He shook his head. "No one came."

Sawyer watched him for a moment before replying:

"No one heard you." Jack looked up at him, meeting the confusion in his eyes. Sawyer's voice softened, becoming less demanding. "What happened?"

He stared at the ground again, swallowing hard, gritting his teeth. Right then, more than ever, he wanted her to be alive. He couldn't go through with this. The countless people asking over and over what happened, would he be alright...telling him it would be alright. He was already starting to go through it with his father, and he didn't want to with Kate. Especially not when only a scarce few would actually be concerned. Kate was a criminal. In their eyes, the people he'd crossed so far, she didn't deserve the memoric sympathy, and he didn't deserve the concern; to them, it was wrong to fall in love with her. In this world, that wasn't correct.

He swallowed hard before answering, whispering, speaking low enough so that his broken voice could hardly be detected:

"It got her."

He didn't look at Sawyer for a reaction or response. Silence floated in the room in a dead orb, anticipating the next comment made. Instead, there was a knock at the door. A nurse with brown hair, a dark brown tan, and a smile greeted him.

"Dr. Shephard?" She asked, speaking his name with excitment and a soft smile. "You can see her now."

(space)

He was watching her. Watching her through the glass just as his mother, who was standing next to him, watched Jack himself earlier. Except he wasn't crying. He couldn't bring himself to shed a tear. He had to be strong for her, which was why he had yet to step in her room. If he went in there and sat down, coming face to face with his ultimate failure- what would've been failure- and everything that came with it...how he almost came to accept it, the way he had, that was. What was going through his mind just hours earlier. And just seeing her laying there, knowing that it was possible that he couldn't save her. Maybe they were right. He always needed to save someone. But this was Kate. And his child. Honestly it was hard to say what was more of a failure, not being able to save someone else or not being able to save yourself. There was so much guilt that came with not being able to save someone else, the endless wonder of what could've been with them. But when you couldn't save yourself...when you couldn't save yourself you had nothing. No hope. No comfort. Definetly no faith.

But what happened when both failures met, became the same? What if not being able to save someone else meant not being able to save yourself? What did you do then?

He knew. You sat. And waited. You watched, and you let it all go through. There's no dealing with it, only acceptance. And then there was pain. There were regrets, there were flashbacks. A never-ending, on-going lasp of memory. And you let it go through. Because there was nothing else left.

And that was exactly what he was doing right now.

"That's her," his mother said at last.

Jack was shaken out of his thoughts, angrily jerked from the wheel of acceptance rolling through him. Now Jack found himself staring not through his memories, but at her. At her scars and wounds, the machines she was hooked up to- more than the rest. Multiple monitors controling breathing, blood loss, heartrate. Helping her live because he couldn't.

"That's her," Jack repeated solemnly.

His mother didn't have to say her opinon. She disaproved, but not because of what Kate was, but because of who Jack chose, who her son fell in love with. It bothered her that this was the 'kind of person' that his heart lay in, that would be bringing yet another soul into the family. It bothered her that he hadn't found better, had put himself through so much trouble. She'd heard the stories, or at least brief drafts of them, how he and Kate came to be together. It had been a rocky road, but for Jack, that didn't mean anything now. Of anything, it confirmed something. No regrets. This was what they wanted. Though they would've prefered to at least wait on the child part, this was what they had wanted. It was like becoming a doctor, you had to have passion for it in order to get through all the obstacles. When you finally achieved what you wanted to be, when you received your first award or got your own office, or just seeing the smile on the face of someone you helped, you knew that was what you wanted, and you were damn proud to be there.

"She has nice hair," his mom commented flatly, with no real emotion at all. She reminded him, at that moment, of Danielle, how she never revealed much emotion, but somehow, you still got the picture.

Jack had to smile a little at the compliment. It was true. Even lying there, covered in blood, cuts, and with scars etched into her skin, hair a mess and entangled, there was still that natural beauty about her she always had. And as corny as it sounded, it wasn't just pysical beauty. Just knowing what she'd been through, what she had been able to move past, was beauty enough. He had such hard times dealing with things that he simply just let it be. But that didn't mean that they'd go away. Just letting it in, accepting it all, would eventually take its toll on him, bringing him down again. But with Kate...she hardly ever went down. Scarcely did she break down, while it seemed like he was on the verge of one everytime he opened his mouth. With this, she'd been able to help him through so much, but Jack was beginning to feel guilty for never really being able to return any of it. Even after her breakdown just recently, he'd been absent most of that day. How could he have done that to her? Being on that side of the tracks, Jack knew that, deep down, she didn't mind him being there. She needed for him to be there.

"Yeah," Jack finally replied, "she does."

They both continued to watch Kate through the glass wall that seperated them, offering them view into the room she lay in. She had yet to regain conscious, and while Jack planned on being there when she did, he still didn't know if he was ready to go in. There was really just something about seeing her like this that made him unsure, almost uncomfortable. But he had to go. He had to be there for her. With that, Jack made a sudden movement towards the door. His mother watched him, watching as his hand hoavered above the handle, hesitant, his eyes watching, full of more emotion than she knew he had.

"Can you not watch?" Jack said at last. It would be a little awkward to have someone, let alone his mother, watching him while he sat in there with Kate.

A smile played at his mother's lips.

"Do I embarras you?" She teased, though, again like Danielle, she was simple about it.

Jack's cheeks reddened, and his lips turned up in the slightest smile. He didn't reply. It wasn't fair, he knew, for him to send her away, but as much as he hated to admit it, he had a feeling that she wanted to talk to him more than he wanted to talk to her. And it wasn't meant to be a selfish feeling, it was just that his mom had never really been there for him. To suddenly have her in his life again was just another change his mind would have to learn to accept. And he wasn't sure how much more he could take.

"I'll wait for you," she offered quietly, stepping aside as she disapeared down the hall. Jack's eyes followed her momentarily, offering him a pity excuse to further his hestiance about opening the door, stepping inside, seeing her again. His mother quietly faded into the mass of survivors in the hall. There seemed to be more here than on the island. He recongized a few: Charlie, who was arguing with a nurse(probably, he assumed, to see Claire), and Michelle and Sebastian nervously glancing up and down the hall. Jack's face fell with sympathy. They had good reason to be nervous, afraid even.

But really, he didn't. He had gotten what he wanted back. Things had finally gone his way. Kate was alive, and here he was, selfishly belating his entrance to see her. She didn't derserve that. She deserved better than that. So his hand finally fell on the door, shivering at the touch of the cold knob, turning it with a creak, lightly pusing open the door into her room.

Each step fell with a memory, falling with a full pause of time between each. The light seemed unusually bright in here, so bright it made him wonder. Was it bright for him? A metephor maybe? Was he supposed to be seeing something easier than he was? Or was it more of a heavenly thing? Voices filled his head as he stepped closer and closer to her, eyes narrowing on the bed, on her sleeping form. But he wouldn't be climbing in with her, kissing her goodnight or waking up to one or another of their bad dreams.

He began counting the distance to her bed. Six feet. Five feet.

The ring burned in his pocket, reminding him of its presence. Maybe it was melting. That'd be his luck, once again a decision not being made by him. But now that he saw her, laid eyes on her...His stomach turned with nerves, making himself sick. What the hell was he going to do?

Four feet.

There was something on the nightstand, he noticed. Her toy plane. Barely recognizable, but Jack knew what it was right off. Bloody, broken, laying into piece set beside her, as if they were watching over her. He wondered then, after Tom died, if she kept the plane sitting just like that, like he was watching over her. And now that plane was broken to pieces.

Talk about metephors.

"Jack?"

He jumped at the whisper. His mind shouted that he was only at two more feet. There was still two more feet to go, still more time. But she couldn't wait that long. The whisper came weak, barely audible, croaking out of her cracked lips, as if his broken voice had replaced hers of confidence, disgracing that beauty of hers, that flat emotion she always had that told you nothing was wrong. She could be what she needed to be at that time. She wasn't only a criminal, but an actress. If only her role was fictional.

His hands shook in the slightest as he grabbed onto a chair that sat in a nearby corner. He almost expected it to be big, something comfortable, the comfort they deserved for what they'd been through. But it wasn't. It was old, with cracked wooden legs and fading patterns on the fabric. Jack had been there long enough to know that it used to be a pattern of flowers. It was supposed to bring feelings of comfort. He never understood how, after all, you'd be sitting on it, not looking at it. But he supposed it was the thought that counted.

"Yeah," he replied with some effort. What was he going to say to her? How would he explain that he couldn't help her before? Fear petrified him as he pushed himself into the chair, taking her hand for safety. "I'm here." He stared down at her pale skin, running his fingers over her bandaged ones, lightly grazing the wires attatched to her skin. At the same time, Kate looked around the room, only eyes moving, body remaining frozen, as though only her head had awoken. Was she paralized? He feared for the first time. After all, they had told him so little...

"Where am I?" Kate wondered outloud, sounding lost and afraid. Jack grasped her hand tightly, emotional support for him as well as her.

"We're-" he couldn't bring himself to say 'home'. This wasn't home. _Their_ home would only ever be the island. That was where their memories were. That was where they grew more than they ever knew they could, becoming people they never thought they could be. And secretly, that was where they wanted to be. "We were rescued."

She didn't answer. She was staring out the window, out the blinds that had been drawn, offering view of the city outside. Jack had never liked the view himself. If they were shooting for comfort, that window definetly wasn't it. She kept staring out the window as she talked:

"I can hear you screaming in my head," she told him lightly, a soft smile pouring across her face in a radiant glow that seemed to fade in with the sun's dipping rays, melting through the glass and hilighting the curls on Kate's head, turning the scene into an innocent, calm affair. Nevertheless, Jack grimaced at her confession. "You're giving me a headache."

She looked to him then, turning to him slowly, eyes trying to concentrate. She reminded him of Sawyer, how he'd hardly been able to concentrate. God, had the drugged them all?

"What happened?" She asked him, trying to find her place in his eyes, failing and looking as though she were seeing right past him. He hated it.

And then that question...he faught for an answer. Surely she remembered...and after that, he imagined she could draw her own conclusions. But she wanted to know.

"Jack..." Kate began tentitivly, her eyes watering in pain and complete confusion. He wrapped his hand around hers even tighter. The bandages gone from his cut hands, their scars met, burning with pain and memory. She still faught to meet his eyes, desperatly wanting to be there. She just sounded so damn scared, so afraid...so not like her. And just to think that something so quick could happen that would do that to her...it made Jack all of angry, and as he pushed the anger away, he found himself grabbing onto her hand to get passed it. Then she changed topics on him altogther. "What's going to happen to me?"

She figured things out too quickly for his liking. While it comforted him to know that her brain seemed to be working properly, for the most part, it pained him for her to have to know so soon. Know that there was no hope.

"I don't know," Jack admitted finally, still gripping her hand in a grip so tight even her pale hands turned a ghastly white in protest.

Her eyes desperatly trying to find him, Kate registered this with fear.

"The baby?" She asked weakily. She was shaking now, tears forming in large drops in her eyes, though never falling. Even on the edge of death, Kate still seemed to be holding herself together, or at least wanting to. He wasn't sure that there would ever be a time where they'd be comfortable- both of them- with truly being able to just let go. To have that trust.

"I don't know," Jack said again, the possibilities bringing tears that stung at his eyes, his own hand shaking with her trembles.

"The doctors-"

Like Sawyer, she began to trail off, pain and confusion overwhelming her.

"Two broken ribs," Jack answered her, as though it were something he had to memorize. And he had. Every word of his short conversation with Kate's doctor played through his head over and over again.

"My back hurts," Kate admitted, wincing as she arched her back, as though a wave of pain was shooting through her just then.

"I know," Jack said, more to himself than to her. They had said it was severly scratched. They'd never seen anything like it. Never on a living patient, at least. One that would survive.

His fingers shook violently as they forced themselves to rub over her scarred hand, a desperate attempt for a comforting gesture. But just then, the door opened. He wasn't sure if they needed that relief or not, but Kate seemed obviously confused to the action, painfully wincing to try and focus on what was going on. His mom stepped into the room. Jack grimaced, feeling like yelling at her for going back on her word. But he couldn't. For a moment she stood frozen at the sight of her son and the woman he loved, both on the edge of breaking: shaking, terrified with no one to tell them what to do or that things were okay. No confirmation or true faith of such a thing.

"I'm going to leave," his mother said at last, breaking the silence of the room. Dead silence, that same orb like in Sawyer's room. The dead silence that was dreaded in every hospital room, because you never wanted hopsital rooms to be silent. Even now a machine beeped, signifying Kate's life, the same beep that haunted him with every step he had taken into the room. "I'll come back later to pick you up."

Jack just nodded, letting her excuse herself out, the door closing with an echo. And maybe they did need that interruption, because when Jack turned back to Kate she was calm again, that same soft smile playing on her lips. He was growing to love that smile.

"Your mom drives you around?" She teased wearily. "That's cute."

It was a relief to see her joke, even though it came with obvious effort, bombarded with pain. Like a horse trying to innocently cross a battlefied.

"I can't drive," Jack explained, "I failed my psych test."

Kate's eyebrows furrowed with his wording. He realized then their grip on each other had loosened, less frantic now, more calming. Truly comforting. Just to feel her touch again, hear her voice...and the smile really confirmed it all. Whatever happened, she was okay.

"What psych test?" She inquired.

Jack blushed a little.

"The one they gave me," he admitted honestly. It had come with the second interrogation, like an add-on feature to a bigger phone plan. Getting more for your money, but getting more than you really need. Except this wasn't a choice, and he had failed miserably. But who could blame him? He didn't.

Smiling a little, Kate stared past Jack and through the window, just as Sawyer had, eyes wondering there as they tried to concentrate. But there was no doubt she could see the people out there, realize what was going on.

"You should be out there," she announced quietly.

Jack turned away from the window, gripping her hand again. He didn't want to leave. Not now. Suddenly, he never wanted to leave this room. He never wanted this moment to be over. And he didn't want to face the fact that this moment may be one that he'd have to savor and look back on for many horrible years to come.

She didn't even let him protest.

"Go." She brushed a hand against his face, dropping it like a dead-weight. She smiled sadly. "They'll be expecting you."

He couldn't be sure. Maybe if everyone hadn't so recently turned against him...but maybe they could move past that now. Families were already beginning to arrive, and even Jack knew that he'd eventually be brought up in conversation. Kate was most likely right. They'd be expecting him.

But he still didn't want to leave her. That was when she pushed him away, pushing his hand back a little at his prostest. He looked at her, hurt. Maybe his fears had come true. She didn't want to be with him. She was mad at him. Furious.

"I'm tired," she explained, eyes already fluttering to a close.

Jack smiled a little at the movement, but a doctor-mode clicked in within him.

"Let me get your nurse," he urged, getting to his feet. The chair squeaked across the floor, making them each wince a little. She looked up at him, and he knew what she was thinking. No authorities. After all of this, even after all they had been through and all they meant to each other, nothing would stop what they thought about her.

"You're not my doctor?" She said, actually sounding worried. He wondered if she was already planning an escape route in her head, but he didn't ask. He might scare her away. And he at least wanted a good-bye. One last moment with her, one last kiss. That moment to savor, though he didn't want to have to now. He would later.

Jack shook his head. That fearful look still danced in her eyes, which still fluttered open and shut of protest to being awake. She couldn't object any longer. She fell asleep, and he knew that it was time for him to go.

The trip to the door went by much quicker- too quickly- than the trip from the door, and just to make up for it, he stopped, once again watching her sleep. The sun was still making its way through the window, signaling the newfound joy of the day- literally. For the most part. But despite it, Jack decided that his mother was definetly right. Kate was beautiful.

Hand falling to the doorknob, Jack felt a wave of energy flowing through him, preparing him for things to come once he opened the door. He looked to Kate once again, this time for that same feeling of safety. A calm surrender that brought true comfort, not old chairs and faded patterns. There didn't even need to be a thought to count. He just needed for her to be there. And that was the moment he savored, capturing the picture in his mind, excluding the broken plane, the chair. All he needed was her. Jack even smiled to himself as he finally had to turn away, opening the door, embracing himself for what was to come.

And still the ring seemed to burn in his pocket.

**Author's Note: **So here's the deal. I had this whole chapter planned out for just the ending- that's right, the end. That was supposed to be this chapter. However, there's just sooo much going on that I felt it almost took away from the Jate, and that's very important to the actual ending. So, next chapter will be the last chapter...but there's a surprise(insert evil laughter here). So no giving up hope! Thanks sooo much for the reviews! I'm gonna cry ending this story, I swear. I'm so thankful and grateful that you guys have stuck with me for so long. One good thing I don't have to worry about making the ending two parts is not having to stay up all night tonight writing my huge thank you list...because it is _huge_. I'll try and get the next chapter out as soon as possible, and the good news is that half of it is already written. So, like I said, thanks for reviewing. You guys rock!

**Coming up next, on "In the End":**

Reunions all around, and a special surprise ending...and you'll have to read the series' endings author's note for the second surprise.

Thanks again!

Until next time...

October Sky


	40. As Fate Would Have It: Part Two

In the End

Chapter Forty

_The beauty of being lost is getting found._

**Dedication: **This chapter(and ending) is dedicated to **Crazyhorsegirl88** for all the work she's put into helping me with this series, this story, and the ending, for always being there and supporting the story, even when I'd come up with the crapiest endings(and believe me, they were there), and for giving me that push(uh...for lack of better wording) with plots I wasn't too keen on writing. So thanks for putting up with my crazness and nonsense...I can't believe this is finally over! I did it! Uh...we did it. Yeah...we all did it. You get the picture.

_So take these words_

_And sing out loud_

_'Cause everyone_

_Is forgiven now_

_'Cause tonight's the night_

_The world begins again_

**-"Better Days" by The Goo-Goo Dolls**

_Is this a lasting treasure _

_Or just a moment's pleasure _

_Can I believe the magic of your sighs _

_Will you still love me tomorrow?_

**-"Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" by Gerry Coffin and Carole King**

**Chapter Forty: **As Fate Would Have It

The hallway was packed. Families seemed to be rushing in by the dozens, reuninting with those once lost but now found. For a moment, Jack just stood in the middle of it, absorbing everything in. He watched as Sayid stood anxiously, clearly waiting for someone, looking almost pale with nerves. Boone was hugging his mother not far from there, and Charlie was now on the phone with someone, smiling and talking happily. He wasn't that far away, and 'Driveshaft' was a word Jack heard frequently from the conversation. Hurley was impaciently waiting for Charlie to get off the phone, ready to introduce him to someone who Jack assumed to be his mother. Jack was the only one who wasn't with someone, and he was just taking this in when someone called his name.

"Jack!"

He turned, but the voice was coming towards him. The only thing behind him was the door to Kate's room. His eyes lingered there a moment before he was forced to face Mark, whose face was covered in sweat, and he was panting, as though he had run here.

"I tried to get here earlier," he explained, immiedatly jumping into conversation, fighting to catch his breath, "they wouldn't let me in."

"Did you tell them who you were?" Jack said, relieved that the first thing said wasn't about the island or Kate. But it was also odd to talk to the person who, six months ago, was his only friend, the only one on his side.

"Yeah," Mark said proudly, "when the guy wouldn't let me through, I said 'Listen here, I'm the best friend of the crazy-ass doctor who was on that flight'."

Jack grinned at the wording.

"And?"

Mark shrugged sheepishly.

"Then they threw me out," he admited.

Jack grinned again, and Mark punched his arm.

"Glad to have you back," Mark said happily. For the first time Jack considered what losing one of his only friends could mean to Mark. They each were never the most popular of persons around, becoming easy targets for pranks or fights. Or just lonliness.

"So what'd you do without me?" Jack asked lightly.

"I could ask you the same thing," Mark glance behind him, eyes scanning over Kate's room, "so how was falling in love without the therapist there to guide you every step of the way?"

Jack snorted.

"I don't see a therapist," he protested truthfully. Not that often, anyway.

Mark's eyes suddenly narrowed with curiosity.

"So," he began, "have you popped the question yet?"

Jack stopped. It felt like the ring box was turning over in his pocket, reminding him that it was there. And now, there was almost no excuse for it to not be used.

"Do you know who she is?" Jack asked, at last.

Mark shrugged, a grin forming across his face.

"Sure," he replied, "so our little Jack finally becomes rebellious."

Jack shook his head. He couldn't even bring himself to laugh at the statement. That relief was gone, and now Jack's mind was back in the room again, waiting for her to wake up once more, wanting to know what to do. But the only answer he could get right now was the one he didn't want. As much as he hated to admit it, the only possible way things would work out would be if Kate somehow escaped, if she ran away. And the only way they could be together was if he went with her.

"It's not like that..." Jack trailed off, unsure of what to say. He'd changed so much over the past six months; he didn't know if anyone who wasn't on the island could ever become used to that.

"Hey!"

So Charlie had finally got off the phone. Jack turned towards him. Looking to Mark, Charlie stopped whatever it was he was going to say, an eyebrow shooting up in curiosity.

"I'm a friend," Mark explained quickly, grabbing Charlie's hand in a firm shake. He looked to Jack. "I'm gonna go."

Jack didn't have time to question his abrupt departure, Charlie ignoring the introduction all together.

"I've got to go," he began, "I just wanted to say...you know...nice knowing you."

"Yeah," Jack nodded, "you too."

Charlie nodded behind him.

"And who's that guy?"

Jack glanced behind Charlie to the man who Jack immediatly recognized as the one who was under the hatch with Boone and Sayid, leaning against the wall painfully, a pair of crutches rested beside him. Jack shrugged anyway. Charlie decided to go with the answer and didn't say anymore.

"And..." Charlie glanced around, as if watching for someone, "thanks for, you know, saving my life." Jack nodded again, remembering how he not only saved Charlie from his hanging, but from the drugs too. "Anyway, you're coming to the tour, right?"

Why wasn't he surprised?

"Tour?" Jack said anyway. He figured Charlie was itching to tell someone.

Charlie grinned.

"Yeah," he said, "a reunion tour. My brother's flying in-" his grin widened even more, "I'm going home."

Jack couldn't help but to say it.

"And Claire?"

He realized that he would've been angry if Charlie just left Claire after everything, especially since there was no huge conflict, like Claire being on the run from the law, to stop him. It was the opportunity that Jack wanted and could never have.

"She's coming too." Charlie grinned mischieviously: "Think I have a chance with her?"

Jack raised an eyebrow at the question.

"Depends on what you mean," he answered awkwardly.

"That's what I told him," Hurley said happily from behind them. He grabbed Jack's hand, shaking it. "Nice knowing you...thanks. Have a good life, Dude."

Short and sweet.

Both men disapeared before Jack could say a word, their laughter echoing back to him as they made their way down the hall. Watching after them, Jack contemplated what to do. He could stand here and wait for everyone to come to him, or he could go up and force people to talk to him. Then again, were he to stay in this one spot, he'd be tempted to go back in Kate's room and wait for her to wake up, thus driving himself and his mind crazy with worry and guilt. Meanwhile, people would still be wondering where he was...assumingly. At last Jack took a few steps forward, meeting his decision halfway.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Excuse me!"

Sun looked up at the frantic call. She sat alone on a bench that was propped up against a wall. No one had come for her, but then again, it wasn't too long ago that they were rescued. She let everything revolve around her, watching the floor, waiting for something to happen. Jin's watch still rest on her wrist, the only memory she had of him. He had waited so long for this day, had worked so hard for it, and now he wasn't even here to share the joy. She hadn't even smiled yet.

Now she did look up at the call, a frantic man approaching her with quick strides, hair grey from stress and face pale and worried. He wasn't with anyone, and he wasn't from the island.

"I'm looking for a boy," he explained, "he had a dog...Walt." He stopped, concidering his next statement. "And his dad, Michael."

Sun's eyes widened at the mention. Along with Jin, Michael had to be the second-most dedicated one to want off the island. They'd worked on the raft together, risking their lives to get rescued. And then they really did risk their lives. But she never thought she'd have to explain that to anyone, and she kept quiet, not sure how to.

"I'm Walt's father-" the man stopped himself, looking pained at the pause, "stepfather. Brian." He reached out to take Sun's hand, and she relucantly shook it. "Can you help me?" He watched her as she watched him in fear and uncertainty, afraid to admit what happened. She didn't have Jack's job, she couldn't tell people about a loss. She was good with sympathy, but she never had to tell someone about a death before.

"I'm sorry," she said at last, it being the only thing she knew to say. He looked at her anxiously, shoulders drooping at her words. She looked down to the floor. She couldn't do it. Tears began forming softly in her eyes, and she must of made herself obvious, because Brian kneeled down, calmer now. He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey," he said, only half-sympathetically, mostly anxiously, "I didn't mean to upset you. I just want to know where my son-" he fought with his words- "ex-son, is."

A tear fell from her eye as she looked up at him. It was all he needed to know.

"Oh God," Brian breathed, running a frantic hand over his head, closing his eyes and opening them again. Her mouth open to reply, to offer some sympathy, but she couldn't. She couldn't say or do anything. She was frozen at the confrontation. "I've got to go."

He ran off before she could redeem herself. Looking back to the floor, Sun let her tears fall silently, looking for no comfort round her, much like Danielle, who sat on the opposite end of the same bench.

(space)

Danielle looked up. She could hear Locke's footsteps before he reached her. He was smiling. He looked like he'd cleaned up, though still wearing his same dirty clothes from the island. Somehow, she couldn't picture him wearing anything else. There were certain people who looked to be born to do things, and Locke was one of them. Born to be a hunter, trakker, or just living in the jungle. Seeing him in the city didn't even feel right.

"Good to be back," he said, nodding.

She didn't reply. Everything was just so different now. She hardly recognized anything she saw...even the styles of clothes on the visitors looked unfamilar. No one talked to her, but doctors had swarmed her, begging to examine her, interested to see what sixteen years alone did to a person. She had demanded a lawyer.

"Mind if I had a seat?" Locked asked next.

She still didn't reply, though she wanted to. She wanted to talk to him...but the shock of being rescued, of not being on the island, hit her so hard that she couldn't talk to even those who had grown somewhat close to her.

"I'll stand," Locke said with a grim smile, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He looked around, exmaining the room, as she watched him. She wasn't afraid to really study someone, intemidate them, even. She liked having the upper hand in a relationship, liked knowing that that someone didn't have too much of an effect on her. "Do you have a place to stay?"

Danielle watched him, interested. Locke was the only person she felt the slightest bit vulnerable to, only because it almost seemed sometimes that he understood her. He, too, had lost a daugter at the hands of another man; and he, too, had to live alone with the consequences.

And now, Danielle found a crazed smile of amusment spreading across her face.

"I haven't lived in a home for sixteen years," Danielle replied.

Unlike the others, she hadn't ever been able to call the island 'home'. Home was where she wouldn't have to fight to survive everyday, living alone with what felt like the ultimate punishment. Home wasn't on an island, an island that did her twice as much bad as good. Home was where her daughter was. At one point, right when the two reunited, Danielle gave the place some consideration. Having her daughter back was the only thing she had ever asked for. But when that was taken away from her, she found her faith stolen with it. Dying with it.

She was about to ask Locke what he meant by the question, if maybe he was offering her something, when she caught him looking far away, watching someone else. A boy in his early twenties, smiling. Yet Danielle seemed to know it was all an act. Despite being isolated for so long, she'd learned a lot about people. They were cruel. Unfair. Selfish. Bitter. But they suffered. Whatever it was that Boone and Locke had done, whatever secrets they kept, whatever harm they caused, they had both suffered in their own way. But, yet, the look on Locke's face was unmistakingly pride.

"You look like you're proud of him," Danielle commented, looking up to him.

Locke smiled sadly.

"I am."

(space)

He knew people were watching him, eyeing him in curiosity, but he let it past. Anxiously, Sayid found himself falling apart in nervousness, waiting for her. She had to come. She'd be there. They told her she would, and if she wasn't...he didn't know what he do. By no means did Sayid want to replace Shannon, but there was really no one else he had. There'd be no more hatch or computer to deal with, and even he could admit that the closest thing to a friendship he had was with Boone or maybe Jack. Now that this was all over, he wanted to have a change in his life. He didn't want to dwell on it, not at the moment. He wanted to move on, letting himself go, letting it all breeze by him in a swift memory. He didn't want to live with the burden of her death, but he didn't want to completly forget her either.

"Sayid!"

He turned at the call, so swiftly he almost fell over. Ungracefulness and anxiety taking over him, his usual grace and manners seemed to leave him for a moment. Sure enough, it was her. Nadia was running towards him. Her arms were around him sooner than he could think, the embrace catching him off-gaurd, sending him staggering backwards. Quickly Sayid caught his balance, regaining control of himself with it. She kissed him briefly on the cheek, smiling brightly as she finally pulled away.

"You look so old," she commented, running a hand over the side of his face. He blushed.

"That's what I've been waiting to hear," he teased, unhurt by the comment. He knew what she, hopefully, meant. He did feel older in years, like he had spent six years instead of six months on the island.

Nadia smiled sadly, tears leaking through her eyes. When he didn't smile back, she took a step back, alert.

"What happened to you?" She demanded, both concerned and afraid.

He still hadn't decided what to tell her. Even as he stood there, waiting, Sayid couldn't figure out what to say to her. How to explain...everything. How he'd lived those years they were apart, how he'd searched for her until he'd unintentionally found someone else. It was almost ironic.

"Sayid?" She asked cautiously.

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend." Boone's interruption saved him. It wasn't the response he'd prefered, but it bought him time. Sayid turned to him.

"She's an old friend," Sayid explained, slightly embarrased, while worried what this looked like. But to his relief, Boone was beaming, grinning ear to ear.

Boone nodded, brushing off the explaination.

"Look, I've got to go, but-" he looked to Nadia uncertainly. Sayid turned to her, and she smiled, brushing Sayid's arm with a hand as she walked off to give the two a moment alone. But neither spoke too quickly, until Sayid decided he should fully explain himself. The smile was gone from Boone's face, his normal serious demeanor he'd developed on the island returning.

"I'm not trying to replace your sister," Sayid said truthfully. Boone shook his head.

"Don't worry about it," he shrugged, "look, I just wanted to say...thanks. You know, for everything."

A weary smile escaped him. He'd never considered that, despite their ongoing fued regarding Shannon, they had become close friends.

"I'm sorry about Shannon," Sayid offered, glancing over to the woman Boone was standing with earlier. He assumed her to be his mother. "Is that your mother?"

Glancing behind him, Boone nodded.

"We'll move on," Boone assured him, shrugging. It seemed to be a nervous habit of his, Sayid had observed, as though he wanted it to seem like nothing bothered him. "Eventually."

With the added word he smiled sadly, diverting his eyes to the floor. Sayid knew that he really had little reason to complain. After all, Shannon had family, friends, who had known her for years. He'd fallen in love with her, but so had others, in a different sense. And now they'd have to live on, with no real explination at all. There was no doubt in his mind that the true story of the hatch would never be told, which was why he felt obligated to say:

"Thank you."

Boone looked taken aback.

"For what?" He inquired.

Sayid smiled.

"Everything."

Boone laughed a little at the repetitive line, and they shook hands.

"Keep in touch," Boone said before he attempted to leave.

He'd never realized how much he'd came to admire the boy, who really didn't seem that young at all anymore; and it was then that Sayid realized that he'd come to miss the island. It'd become almost like a safe haven, a memory he could look back on and, for the most part, be proud of. There'd always be that part of his life where he'd work harder than ever before and now, in its own way, it was paying him off. The loss was still there, but there was no denying that they had, in fact, been rescued.

"Leaving so soon?"

They looked up. Locke was standing over them, smiling. Not to far away, Danielle was resting against the wall, looking slightly more pleased than when Sayid first walked past her. Eyes wondering to her, the two met eyes, and Danielle gave a nod of acknowledgement. Smiling a little, Sayid turned back to Locke.

"I am," Boone admitted, "I've-" he glanced around uncertainly, "got things to do."

"You weren't leaving without saying good-bye, were you?"

They turned at the new voice. Callum was hobbling up to them, struggling due to the crutches underneath his arms, a cast surporting an apparently broken leg. Boone raised an eyebrow and turned to Locke.

"How'd he get here?" He inquired curiously.

Callum grinned.

"We've all got secrets, Mate."

Without a doubt, Callum was definetly one of the happier ones Sayid had come across. In the bright light of the hallway, Callum looked paler than ever, greasy hair falling from his hair in strings. But he kept on smiling.

"So what are you going to do?" Callum asked, eyeing each of them.

Boone grinned.

"You're the one that's been on the island for three years," he reminded him, "what do you do, anyway?"

Sayid listened curiously. He'd never even considered Callum, or really any of them, as having a life off the island, at least in terms of working. Callum, however, blushed madly, cheeks turning brick red against his pale skin.

"How about you?" Callum retorted back, quick to change course of the question.

"What do you do?" Sayid found himself asking, repeating Boone's question.

Callum shook his head.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does," Boone insisted, "come on, it can't be that bad."

Still blushing, Callum gave in.

"Fine," he said bitterly, "I'm...I dance."

He looked immediatly to the floor, cheeks flaring with embarrasment. Right off, Boone let out a laugh. Even embarrasment couldn't stop Callum from glaring at him, and the quick reflex got Boone quiet quickly.

"I mean," Boone shrugged sheepishly, "that's gotta suck with your foot."

Callum scrowled. With the cast, Sayid noted, he could be out of job for months, minus the therapy after.

"What kind do you do?" Locke wondered seriously, despite Boone's attempts, still, not to laugh.

At the question, Callum brightened a little.

"Theatre," he replied proudly.

Boone snorted loudly, and they all turned to him.

"Sorry," Boone attempted honestly, "it's just...you, dance?"

"And what do you do?" Callum shot back angrily.

Boone shrugged innocently.

"I run a buisness."

At this, Locke smiled.

"It's a wedding buisness," Locke added, grinning as Boone glared at him, incredulous.

"Yeah?" Boone snapped. "Well John makes boxes."

Locke shrugged.

"It's honest work," he noted.

Personally Sayid would've pictured Locke doing something more...active. Like owning a ranch, or something of the sort. But they didn't have time to contemplate as the woman Boone had introduced out as his mom stepped up to them, blushing a little at her interruption.

"If you wanted more time..." she trailed off, clearly regretting interrupting.

"It's fine." Like Callum earlier, Boone blushed madly. "Mom, this is John-" he nodded to Locke, and then to Sayid and Callum in turn, "and Sayid and Callum."

His mom's eyes narrowed at mention of Callum. Sayid was admittedly relieved, as stereotypes and discrimination was something he was always on alert for, and whenever it slid by, he couldn't help but to be grateful.

"I don't remember you being on the flight list," his mom noted gravely.

"Long story," Callum muttered bitterly. He looked down the hallway absently, as if expecting to see someone there.

"Do you have somewhere to go?" Locke asked.

Callum continued to stare down the hall.

"Yeah."

He looked to the three of them, nodding before hobbling away. Meanwhile, Boone's mom shyly backed away, giving her son some space. The conversation grew serious again, the laughter gone, returning to their normal pause of uncertainy or sympathy. This time, it was both.

"Where are you going?" Sayid asked Boone.

Boone shrugged.

"My mom'll probably want to reintroduce me to my family," he paused thoughtfully, "and after that, who knows." He grinned. "Maybe I'll take up dance."

Sayid smiled at his joke, though he didn't necessarily find it amusing. Once again they stood in silence, waiting for someone else to leave; all of them waiting for this to truly be over.

"You going back home?" Locke asked Sayid suddenly, breaking him away from his momentary daze.

A grateful smile on his face, Sayid glanced down the hallway, where Nadia was waiting patiently for him.

"I think this'll be home for awhile," he confessed happily. He fully intended to make up for lost time, though the past would always linger. Though their time together was short, and he, hopefully, had many years to go, Shannon would always be a part of him. A different part of him. A part of him that was brave, who had let himself open up around her more than he had with anyone else. He was truly in love, and now came the burden of moving on. Boone was the next to speak.

"So I guess this is good-bye," Boone commented, grin gone from his face. Suddenly, Sayid was torn between staying and going. This was a part of his life that would change him forever, but he wasn't sure if he was too keen to play it back. Not all of it, anyway. Boone glanced behind him, to where his mother was waiting, rather impaciently.

Boone held out his hand to anyone who would take it. Locke shook first. He and Boone met eyes, and suddenly Sayid knew it was time for him to leave.

"I have someone to meet," Sayid interrupted, glancing towards Nadia. He offered a smile to Boone and Locke, but stopped suddenly before leaving. "We're not telling anyone, are we?"

It was one of things he'd thought about on the long trip home. Militaries and governments would fight wars for the technology on that island.

o

"As far as I'm concerned," Boone said lightly with a shrug, "unless someone finds that journal, no one's ever gonna know."

"Journal?" Sayid inquired cluelessly.

Boone glanced towards him.

"My journal," Boone explained solemnly, "I left it on the island."

To even Sayid's surprise, Locke smiled at this.

"All things must pass," Locke recited with pleasure. Boone studied him, and even Sayid himself considered the comment. Now that the things they cared about the most, the things they had lost, were gone, was this a chance to finally move on? He glanced again to Nadia, who was still waiting, though less patiently. _Was _this his chance to start over? Again? Was all of this like a pre-test, getting him ready for the real thing?

"Weren't you just leaving?" Boone inquired after a long pause, taking the liberty of changing subjects. Sayid quickly snapped out of his thoughts.

"Yes," Sayid replied. He didn't know what to say, so he just gave them each a nod.

"I'm gonna go to," Boone decided. He looked at Locke. "Thanks."

Locke looked slightly taken aback.

"For what?" He asked, though sounding more interested than puzzled.

"For second chances," Boone explained, shrugging sheeplishly.

After that they all grew quiet, considering this, though truly just buying time. How were you supposed to say good-bye? What were you supposed to say, after a situation like this? And all throughout the hall, dozens of others were trying to figure out just that.

(space)

"So this is it."

Sawyer glanced up and down the hallway, watching as everyone reuninted with their family and friends, hugging and crying. Balloons and flowers everywhere. It was beginning to make him sick.

"This is the big rescue," Rebecca agreed.

As it turned out, she had been fine, just a little shaken. He hadn't seen Jack since his visit earlier, though there were rumors that he had been around somewhere. But mostly, thoughts were centered on Kate. What was going to happen to her? He actually felt bad for Jack, how his life would be knowingly ruined at any given moment, unwillingly.

"So I'm sitting here and wondering," Rebecca began suddenly, "what the hell am I going to do?"

He'd considered that as well. Even he could admit that, in the "real world", he wasn't in the best place to be in a relationship. But that didn't mean that he was ready to just drop everything.

"I mean," she turned to him, looking pale. They were sitting on a bench against a wall of the hospital, both feeling too restless and nausiated to stand. "My sister's dead. My family hates me...you know the story." She turned away, her worried face contorted with disgust.

"They don't hate you," Sawyer snorted with a small smile.

Rebecca stared straight forward, not turning to him this time.

"You don't know them," she replied coldly, crossing her arms. She stared into space a few moments, eyes distant, caught in a trance inside a world that Sawyer would never really know about. "And I can't stay with you."

"Nah," Sawyer remarked sarcastically, "I'd never want that."

A playful smile on her lips, she stole a glance towards him, the two meeting eyes briefly. But despite his comment, he honestly didn't know what he'd do. He wasn't even sure if _he_ had a place to live.

"And you're in this boat too, right?" She went on. "You have no where to go..."

Sawyer darkened at the way she was able to make that assumption. He could've at least acted like things would be okay. Maybe they were too old for that now. That's why he didn't jump right to it. They were adults. When things were bad, they knew that there was scarce hope they'd get better. Miracles became like a long-lost friend, dreams disapeared with hope, reality setting in, and for at least him, far too early.

"I guess," he grumbled bitterly.

"I don't want to end this," Rebecca rambled on, getting to her feet. He instinctivly reached up for her as she struggled to stand straight, but she pulled away, crossing her arms as she looked around enviously at the crowds around her. "I mean-"

A hand flew to her head in a quick movement, and Rebecca was suddenly down on the floor, lowering herself as quickly and cautiously as she could. Sawyer was immediatly at her side, calling for a nurse. And Rebecca immediatly turned it away. Bringing her hand down, Sawyer could now see that her face was streaming with tears, her unkept hair sticking to her skin in beads of sweat.

"I still love you," she went on, despite her struggle, "I guess..." she trailed off, eyes darting around the room in a daze before finally finding their way back to Sawyer's confused and worried stare. "I don't have anywhere to go-" she was on the verge of sobbing now, face looking paler by the moment, "I just, I need someone. I need to know that I have that one thing..."

"What the hell are you trying to say?" Sawyer shot before he could help himself, partially a little afraid to know. He watched her with intense anticipation that was almost anger, anxious and yet terrified to know what she was getting at.

And then at last her eyes found his, and his fears were confirmed. She looked up to him desperatly, that desperation being the only trace of emotion in her eyes. Not love, not anticipation. It was just that desperation she had described and everything that came with it: the uncertanty, the fear. But not until much later would what she said make sense with her reason:

"Marry me."

He stared at her. Never once had he heard those two words come out of anyone's mouth. Even with Casey, they had been so far from even thinking about marriage...so the only way he could answer was the only way he knew how. Because there was no way in hell that she was actually suggesting this.

"Was that a question?" Sawyer said sarcastically, looking to her incredulously.

Rebecca let out a soft sob of disbelief at the sarcasm, and that's when he broke. No way was she going to let him get out of this. That's when he really started wondering, worrying. Was she pregnant? What the hell had he gotten himself into?

"Sawyer!" Rebecca exclaimed with a sob following.

She looked pitiful. She looked desperate. She looked like she actually wanted this. He really had no choice. He wasn't going to turn away from her. He didn't want to.

"Get off the damn floor," Sawyer mumbled, "'course I'll marry you."

Grabbing her arm, he helped her get to her feet, Rebecca pulling him into a tight embrace, sobbing harder than ever.

"You better not be in it for the money," Sawyer warned, "I ain't even got a place to live."

A smile crossed her face, shaking away the tears as Rebecca pulled away.

"Of course I'm not," she insisted.

"Good."

Silence passed between them, while around them no one noticed. No one would care about their decision. Truthfully, would it even matter? What if they began to spend time together off the island, only to realize that they no longer had nothing in common? Without that constant isolation or trauma, there would be nothing to bring them together. They had no where to go, no one to go to.

"Why are we doing this?" He wondered outloud, speaking his next thought.

Rebecca smiled sadly, clearly pitying even herself.

"What else do we have?" She said sadly, taking one of Sawyer's hands in hers, letting it dangle there. For the longest time they just stood there, both still amazed, shocked over what was happening. It really sparked change, a chance. A final escape from the past. This could really be it for him. But part of him was still angry. Here he was, his life finally going good for him, and he still hadn't gotten that revenge. It had been all he'd lived for for the longest time. Why he was who he was now. The process of becoming this person he was, all of it had evolved from that determined sense of revenge. Back then, that was all he had. And now...should he call it 'options'? There was something else. And now he'd get to spend enternity waiting for the next bad thing to happen, because things just couldn't go this great.

(space)

"Who's he?" Nadia asked curiously, leaning on Sayid's shoulder a little as she nodded towards a man standing alone, leaning against a far wall, looking lost. Jack, Sayid realized. He still had yet to see him talk to anyone, and since he'd left Kate's room he hadn't gone back in. Sayid frowned in concern. He couldn't tell which it was, that no one wanted to talk to Jack or that Jack didn't want to talk to anyone. Perhaps it was both.

"Hold on," Sayid said to Nadia, placing a hand on her shoulder before crossing the hall to Jack.

He reached him, standing in front of Jack nearly a full moment before Jack looked up. Hands stuffed deep into his pockets, Jack rested carelessly against the wall, hardly looking up, just enough to acklowedge Sayid's presence. His face was so worn from exhaustion and worry that it now just looked...empty. There was nothing there, no emotion whatsover. Sayid was so taken aback by his appearance that he stopped, unsure of what to say. Jack's current situation suddenly hit him in a realization of pity, and the one thing Sayid thought to bring up was probably the one thing Jack didn't want to discuss.

"How is she?" He asked, carefully awaiting an answer.

Jack stared at him, eyes turning in anger, though there wasn't enough fuel behind it to lash out, just disapointment in the question, wondering how he could've asked it. But at last Jack opened his mouth, swallowing, clearing his throat, before responding.

"She's alive," Jack informed him quietly, voice sounding broken, pained. Afraid. And just from the look in his eyes, his empty face, Sayid knew this was true. Sympathy, empathy, or pitiness, no matter how vast in amount, couldn't cure that kind of emotion. But help maybe could, and just offering it. Because, from that distance in which he first spotted him, Jack did look, without a doubt, lost. Or maybe not lost at all. This was a different kind of lost. He was found now, but he had nowhere to go. He didn't know what to do. He needed for someone to be there to tell him this, only there was no one there. He was alone. Terrified.

But one thing Sayid knew was that ignoring this situation could sometimes make things worse. The agony would just continue on in a long, drawn out pain. It never went away. Sitting here, on this wall, would do nothing. Without a doubt Jack deserved that kind of peace, but prolonging this could make things even worse, at least in emotion. Even harder to confront, just knowing how long you were able to put it off, that you did put it off.

"Can I see her?" Sayid offered innocently. He wasn't completly blind to the situation, he definetly cared about Kate as well. But at least Kate was under doctor's care. Jack was the doctor, and things definetly weren't looking well for him right now.

He half-expected Jack to deny his request, to turn away, and that would be the last he ever saw of him. But he didn't. Instead Jack looked down to the ground, kicking himself away from the wall. Sayid followed behind him as Jack led him to Kate's room, taking note of that still truly empty, exhausted appearance. Soon the room door was opened, and a bright light hit him.

Kate was asleep. Laying in the hospital bed, hooked up to almost a half a dozen wires, dried blood and scars decorating her skin in deep and horryfying cuts and bruises. Looking so still, so helpless, she was hardly recognizable. Jack didn't talk. Sayid didn't dare glance towards him, though he was curious of Jack's reaction to all of this. Though just the stillness and silence of the room (minus the ongoing beeping of machines) told him everything he needed to know. If there was one thing Jack needed right now, it was help. Someone to fix this, because he couldn't. And if there was one thing the castaways owed him, it was to do just that. But Sayid could see no way they could help. After all they survived, all they'd overcome and accomplished, almost no good seemed to come from it. There were losses, too many. Too many betrayels, too much still-standing guilt. Too much pain. Too much trauma. And there was nothing more they could do. And because of that, Sayid had to leave. He needed to think. What could he do? And he couldn't think in here, not with Jack beside him, baring within him the true essence of post-crash trauma. Everything seeming so helpless, hopeless. He couldn't help, but he had to. Somehow.

"Thank you," Sayid offered with a nod, eyes leaving Kate's bed as he turned, stepping away from it all. To think that six months ago they hadn't known each other, to remember those first few days of hiking to get transciever signals and building signal fires, it all seemed so surreal. It was so surreal to think there was so much more awaiting them, good or bad, and that those six months would remain just that, six months. Six simple months of time. Of course, they weren't simple in truth, but now, off-island, time was back. Things moved forward without your consent. Days went on.

And Sayid was finally out in the hallway, ready to say good-bye to yet another person he may never see again, when just days ago, hours ago, it seemed like enternity would be spent with them, with these people. And now it was over. Just like that.

"You leaving?"

The voice made him jump. It was still Jack, but it seemed like a different Jack. The one from months ago, before all this started. Though simple, the question seemed innocent, relieving them from that tension and emotion of the room. A sad smile escaped him.

"Yes," Sayid admitted.

Jack tried to force a smile, failing miserably. Instead he shook Sayid's hand, Jack's scarred skin sending shivers up his spine in reminder of just how serious and hard Jack's life had become.

"Thanks," Jack said, making it known between them what he was being thanked for. Just help in general. "Have a good life."

Sayid had to smile at the wording, dropping his hand.

"You too," Sayid offered with a nod.

Face falling, Jack glanced behind him, eyes landing on the sleeping Kate, laying, to some eyes, as good as dead as she took her few moments of peace. The suggestion was like a good laugh to these two. Who knew what would happen, and that was the problem. At last Jack turned back to Sayid, looking more helpless than ever. He didn't speak.

"Good luck," Sayid said in true meaning. It was the least he could offer. Jack nodded, though he didn't look as certain of the offer. With one last sympathetic smile, one last glance around the room, Sayid finally turned away, walking out on the life that would once feel so foreign, he'd wonder if he'd dreamed it. Wonder if it was real. But to Jack and to Kate, and maybe even others, there'd be no doubt. It was real. It was too real.

(space)

His hand hovered over the doorknob, relucant. He stared at it, watching his hesitant reflection looking back at him through the gold. He took a deep breath. Closed his eyes. And turned the doorknob.

Nothing happened. Eyes snapping open, Jack looked down in confusion to the knob in one hand and the housekey in the other. Had someone it replaced? He tried the door a few more times, growing frustrated at each attempt. He'd finally forced himself to go back to his own house, and now he wasn't being let in. That's when he realized it. The door turned to the right, not the left. Taking a deep breath, Jack forced himself to calm down before he pushed the door open. His eyes closed once again, taking in the senses around him- the smell of dead grass in the yard, the sound of a dog barking next door. Sounds he never expected to hear again.

With a creak, sqeaking in protest from standing shut for so long, the door opened, revealing a dark room. The blinds were closed, lights off. He put a foot in the doorway, still hesitant. Reaching over, he first tried the lights. Nothing happened. They'd cut off the power. Sighing, Jack took a look around the neighborhood before stepping in. He was well-known here, especially now, and all the familiar sights and memories were coming back to him. But the years of memory suddenly turned back into the present, and despite the dim room, Jack stepped in fully, the door standing ajar behind him, waiting to be shut, to block him from the world out there. To put a roof over his head, to put true walls around him. Protection, shelter. Everything he was used to having to fend for himself for was being offered to him right now with one simple step, one simple movement. Ignoring the darkness of the room, Jack gazed around it, memories flooding back to him. It was supposed to be a family home. He and Sarah had planned it that way. In fact, there was still a half-finished nursery left upstairs, a project he'd never brought himself to go back to. He hadn't even stepped in the room in years. Maybe now...

He closed the door behind him. Taking slow steps, Jack began to move around the room, running his hand over the leather of the couch, everything still in place as he left it. The mantel was bare: no pictures, not even a clock. The fireplace had only been used once, years ago. It was a poor excuse for a home, as empty and still as it was when it was first built.

The kitchen was the next room, a white tile floor still sparkling, things still in place here as well. Except for one. A newspaper sat on the counter, dated fall of 2004. The headline entry was "Red Sox Win World Series". Picking up the paper, the unfamiliar touch of ink sending quick shivers up his spine, Jack let out a snort. If there was one thing he and his dad had ever had in common, it was a love for this team. Neither really knew why, though Jack found himself sympathizing with their curse, the little faith put in them. Especially when he was younger. He heard the saying practically every night, though in his mind, his own name could easily be replaced. That's why he'd never suceed. Never be a hero. And even now...

There was a crash from the next room, his bedroom. Jack jumped. There wasn't supposed to be anyone else here. Instinctivly, he reached to his back pocket for a gun, so ready to pull it out for his protection, but his heart stopped in realization that it wasn't there. Things were different now. He couldn't go around fighting for the sake of fighting or hunting down those who hurt him. Now there were rules, laws. He was no longer in charge, only a mere person in a world too big for words. Cautiously, all Jack could do was step into the hallway. That's when he noticed a light was shining from the floor of a pantry; a flashlight. Taking quick breaths, Jack stood there, waiting.

And then he saw it. The slightest flicker, but it was there. A shadow. Someone was hiding. And, somehow, Jack knew who that someone was before they came out. Creeping out from behind a dresser, looking all of determined, ashamed, and frightened, was Kate. She stared at him. Breathing even more quickly than before, Jack's mind turned in hurried circles, trying to find an explination.

"Jack-" she finally began for him, taking a step forward. She was walking, only the slightest limp in her legs. Her jeans were torn to shreds over the knees and around her ankles, but she took no notice. Dried blood dotted her sneakers, but there was no concern for it.

"You can't be here," the words escaped him before he could think. It was now, he realized, that their fate would be decided. Whatever that was going to happened was going to happen now. She'd made up her mind, she knew what she was going to do. "What are you doing here, Kate?"

"I'm not staying."

The answer came quickly, as though planned. She attempted to sound assuring, as though this helped him. As though he wanted that. Jack shook his head in protest.

"You can't help me, Jack," Kate said, voice shaking a little. She took another step closer to him. Jack shivered. It was as though he could already feel her right next to him, entering the circle of space around him.

"You don't even know-" Jack tried desperatly. This wasn't happening. Not now, not so quickly. All he had wanted to do was to finally bring himself to go home. Then again, he had decided before that his home was with Kate, and as fate would have it...

"Don't act like this isn't happening!" Kate scolded, desperation hinting with her tone. She needed him to be okay with this. That was why she'd come, why she was here.

But just that was all he could do, act like this wasn't happening. It was all he had ever done. She should've known that by now.

"How'd you get here?" He demanded, the possibilities leaving his breath to escape him in worried gasps.

"I can't be here, Jack," Kate said, ignoring him. She looked at him, shaking her head with sympathy. At last she was in front of him, hand reaching out to him. "I've got to do what's best for me."

Jack looked at her incredulously, hurt reeling through him freely. He opened his mouth, yelling at her, before he could really consider this.

"What about what's best for me?" Jack yelled angrily. This was his house, the one place he still had some control over. So he should have control over what happened inside it as well. And he wasn't going to let her come in here and throw herself out, give up. He wasn't going to let this be ruined for him, again.

Kate stared at him, mouth slightly agape, both with pity and annoyance. Her eyes still had that dazed look about them, though she was definetly more focused now, as though the new enviroment, being away from the hospital, made her feel more...comfortable to be.

"It can't be about you now, Jack," she shot, tone plain, anger leveling itself, having a magnificeint control over her emotions. "It's got to be about what's best for me...the baby!"

"And you think that what's best for you is to run off, with no money, no where to go?" He felt so betrayed that she was even thinking to do this, though he didn't know what he was expecting. For her to give into his help? For there to be some miraculous happy ending? A heart-feeling, satisfying happily ever after? "With the baby and in your condition?" He didn't go on, and she didn't protest. Perhaps, he thought, she was aware of this. Sometimes you just had to do what you had to do. Personally, Jack never care for this way of living. Because sometimes, it pushed you way over your limit, with no choice. He looked around, hands on his hips, shaking his head incredulously at the way things were playing out. It was typical. Something seemed to be finally working out, and it was jerked away from him before he could linger in the excitment of it, enjoy it. "I thought we were going to do this."

She watched him, emotion of pity swimming in her eyes, tears itching to be let loose but still held back.

"That was then," Kate said simply. He envied how she was able to contront and accept the situation. How she knew that this wasn't what she wanted, but it was what needed to happen. It was what made her so much stronger than he, a trait he'd never possess, no matter how much help she gave him. He just placed so much in guilt, and even sometimes, so much in self-pity, that it was impossible to be like that.

Kate didn't need to finish. The worse part was that he knew, had known all along, that this was what needed to happen. The least he could do was help her out, support her. Work out some kind of plan, to still somehow be apart of this. No matter what the risk, Jack still wanted to be apart of this, to be there for her and their child. He didn't want it to look like he walked out on them. He wanted the kid to have a real chance, and he wanted to be there to help give it to them.

Her eyes trailing to the pantry, the light still on inside, shining through the ajar door, a smile suddenly spread across her face.

"I ate all your chips," she admitted lightly, amusement replacing guilt.

His mind suddenly clicked off, his own amusment setting in, though along with his normal concern. For this one moment, their fate wouldn't matter. It was what comic relief was all about, and Jack found himself, once again, grateful.

"Those could be six months old, Kate," Jack reminded her.

Her face suddenly fell, as if some sudden sick feeling acknowledged this.

"I know."

Silence drew over them then, fate hovering above them like a time-bomb, waiting to rain on them, finally playing its part in this cruel game. He felt like he was being sent back home after making it all the way across the board, except unlike in a boardgame, there were no second chances being given now. Not a single chance of a redo, no forgivness. You just had to go with it, and they both knew it was time.

"I can't stay long," Kate noted quietly, reading his mind.

Jack nodded.

"I know."

Another moment of silence passing, they stood there in the hallway, waiting for something to happen. Maybe, Jack thought, if they just kept standing here, never saying anything, never picking back up the problem, nothing would have to happen. Things could just stand still, time could just stand still. They'd never move out of this moment, the snapshot remaining there forever and always. It wouldn't have to become just another memory, just another picture in his mind. It could exsist for as long as he wanted.

But Kate broke the chain of silence, crushing his theory with a betrayed power.

"I'm sorry, Jack," she began, voice shaking again. Suddenly she was closer to him, leaning next to him against the wall. They were blue, Sarah's favorite color, and they could use repainting, he decided then. Briefly, Jack wondered what Kate's favorite color was. "You've just...you've got to promise you won't come after me. You can't do that to yourself." He didn't answer. "I know you want to...but you just have to know that things will be okay." She offered him a sad smile. "Trust me."

"I can't-" Jack admitted. He wasn't ready to let her go. He just wanted one more day, one more chance. He wanted to go with her.

"You'll be okay, Jack," she went on, a hand brushing against his face. Shuddering at the touch, Jack longed more than ever to just have more time. But her hand suddenly left again, and Kate swallowed, straightening her back, wincing at the pain as she did though. He winced himself, unable to think of her out there on her own like this. What if something happened? What if there had been something wrong with her, something they hadn't told him? Something deathly, something he'd never know about...he couldn't let this happen. "So just tell me you love me and...I'll go."

She looked up to him.

"I can't-" he began, feeling helpless. He didn't want to do this. He couldn't.

"I've got to go," Kate said, glancing around nervously through the rooms in the house. It was then he realized the real reasons for all the blinds to be drawn, for the darkness. It was all for her.

"Kate-"

He was desperate. He couldn't breathe. Suddenly he felt himself lowering to the floor, bringing Kate with him. Sitting there, he found her hand, clutching it just as he had in the hospital. A vision flashed in front of him, quite a few times. all the times he had found Kate beaten, hurt. All the times he had saved her. Why should now be any different? The ring was still in his pocket, and this was the perfect time to bring it out, to offer his full commitment to her. But the moment went on, and all he could do was sit there, shaking. She wanted to go, she had to, and he couldn't make it harder for her. It'd be selfish, even he could learn to admit that. But he really did want to give her a final reason to reconsider...

"Just close your eyes," Kate instructed, frantic to get away. Maybe she needed this to be done. That had to be it. She wouldn't naturally do this to him, surely. "Count to ten-" she studied his eyes, making sure he understood, "and I''ll be gone." He didn't respond. He just sat there in disbelief. This was actually happening. He'd close his eyes, and he'd never see her again.

Suddenly her hand was on his face again, carrasing it tenderly, and moments later her lips were on his, embracing him in a soothing kiss. A kiss good-bye. He closed his eyes without meaning to, and as though that were the plan, she pulled away just then.

"I love you," she whispered into his ear, her breath making him shake desperatly.

He couldn't open his eyes as she walked away. He couldn't count. He just concentrated. Listening carefully, he memorized every last footstep, their distance away, the way they went, so that when his eyes finally did open, Jack was able to stand and look around. To search for her, to find her. This couldn't be the end. He didn't want it to be. But yet, the end always came when you didn't want it to.

Desperatly he searched through every room, determined that she had stayed, simply hiding. It was insane, he knew, but it had to be. She had to be there. But before he knew it he was back in the hallway, gasping for breath. He grabbed onto the wall, letting himself sink onto the floor. She really was gone. He'd checked everywhere...the garage, outside. She had simply disapeared. Just like that. It was all over. Head buried into his hands, Jack remembered sitting in a simular fashion with his father, right after Sarah left him. But now he was alone. There was no help, no chance of a redo. And all he could do was sit there, taking in this completly horrific nightmare, shaking himself into panic as he did. Because the worst realization came when he knew that one thing would never be true, the one thing he had always wanted would be the one thing he'd never get. Not now, now without Kate. Because without Kate, the one he loved and, almost more importantly, the one who loved him, the one who had faith in him, hope...everything sunk in at once, like a final ending to a tale, a tale where the hero didn't win, where no one won. And now all he could do was sit here and wait, hoping that she was right. Hoping that she'd come back for him, or that some day he'd find her. He hated being lost, hated it more than anything. He wanted to be able to say how things went again, to be able to guide the story and do it his way. And he knew just the perfect line to end it with, his dream ending:

'_And they lived happily ever after...'_

The End.

**Author's Note: **Wow...yeah, it's over. And now for the insanely long series ending author's note! First of all, regarding Sawyer and Rebecca. If you don't like cheesy castaway weddings where everyone reunites and everything and the couple lives happily ever after than good, neither do I(except for special occasions). Basically, they want to be married because, well, they need to be. They need to know that they have someone, that they're not alone. Okay, now, what to say...

Guess I should do the thank-yous. Big thanks to anyone who ever read and reviewed(or even didn't review). Short and sweet or in long paragraphs, I truly am grateful for every review and reader I have. I really do write for myself, but I'll also write for whoever will read, and it's really inspiring when you have such great people supporting you. So thanks to those who have been behind me throughout this crazy ride, espceially(let me know if you want your name off this list, for whatever reason): Orlando-Crazy, Chris Anthony(thanks for letting me ramble on in review replies at Lost-forum!), Whirlwind-2005, Freckles-101, Kirstieee.x, NYR88, Ella Jullian SinortiaDanzer, Eliza4892, Oreata, aurorasmist, lordoftheringsfanficreader, standardblack, crookedview, Lillywriter, hjr, bella-writer, clarkson04, FanOfLost, future cop, rain1657, shannanagin, celes19, autumn-leaf16, and everyone else who ever left a review or was a fan of the series. Oh, and I guess I should thank Crazyhorsegirl88(sigh)...just kidding! You guys have no idea how much of a help she's been...truly I'd have to say she's saved the story quite a few times, including from its original ending. Thanks so much for countless hours of giving off plot ideas and questions about the smallest of things...I'd definetly have to say this series wouldn't of been half as good without her help...or at least I wouldn't of felt so confident with it. So, **Crazyhorsegirl88**, thanks bunches for all the help and support...you have no idea how grateful I am for it(and because of that, I should no longer have to be the death of Jate! hehe).

Lastly, thanks to anyone, artist, shows, movies, producers, ect., who I've mentioned in disclaimers. A very special thanks to the creators and producers and cast and crew of _Lost_ for bringing us this amazing show, especially to J.J., who's been a major inspiration with my writing.

Okay, so if I remember correctly, I promised you guys two surprises. The first was that ending. The second is what comes after the ending. Yup, that's right, **a sequel**. I don't know when it'll be out, but I am planning on writing a sequel to this. It'll be written so that anyone could understand it, regardless of whether or not they've read the series. However, there'll be plenty of referances to the series' characters and plots. Also, I definetly want you guy's opinions on this, what you think about me writing a sequel to this. It could simply be put into an epiloge, but I decided I kind of like the detail I could do with it. So please, feel free to give me any feedback on that.

Wow...so this is finally coming to an end. Once again, thanks sooo much for all the support! It's definetly a major confidence booster, especially when you've got people who have been reading since story one. Thanks so much for sticking with me through all of this, and I truly hope you weren't disapointed by the ending. You've got a couple of cliffhangers setting up a sequel: Sawyer and Rebecca's engagment, Jack and the ring, and most importantly, Kate on the run with the baby. So keep an eye out for that, and let me know if you want me to let you know when the sequel will be up.

So...yeah...guess this is good-bye. For now. And guess there's only one thing left to say...

(taps microphone) (clears throat) (sings)

_I'd like to know that your love _

_Is love I can be sure of _

_So tell me now and I won't ask again _

_Will you still love me tomorrow?_

_Will you still love me tomorrow?_

_Will you still love me tomorrow?_

Just kidding! I'll shut up now...

_Fated_: 12-19-04 to 8-20-06

Thanks again!

Until next time...

October Sky


End file.
